Detroit Free Press from Detroit, Michigan • Page 15

jn mm INSIDE: CLASSIFIED Also inside: U2's concert film won't play South Africa, Shirley Eder reports. 11B. Tuesday, May 17, 1988 Section Ann Landers, Page 2 50-Plus, Page 3 Television, Pages 4-6 Call The Way We Live: 222-66lj) Detroit ifrcc $rc Big show is big winner in Free Press theater awards by Lawrence DeVine Free Press Theater Critic Er3 he Life and Adventures of Nicholas Li Nickleby," the king-sized Dickensi- an drama that merged quantity with quality at Hilberry Theatre, was named best play of the 1987-88 including the Lee Hills Award for distinguished career service that went to Hilberry founder Leonard Leone. The 8'2-hour "Nicholas Nickleby," which has just closed a near-capacity six-week run, also took an award for its three directors, Anthony Schmitt, Vincent P. Scott and James Baird, and for best supporting actor, Robert M.

Hefley, who played Ralph Nickleby. Marilyn Mays, who gave a virtuoso starring performance in "Auntie Mame" was named best actress of the year. The sixth Hilberry name was Anthony Dobrowolski the company's former costum-er turned actor who played a number of roles, including Gloucester in "King Lear" and Auntie Mame's mother-in-law. He received the James Kisicki Award for ensemble work. Coming up second to the Hilberry was the University of Detroit-based The Theatre Company, whose three awards comprised all the rest of this year's drama prizes.

Best actor of the year was Robert M. Grossman for his role as the kindly crook, Harold, in The Theatre Company's fall premiere, "Orphans." Grossman, a former Kisicki Award-winner who has appeared frequently on the Free Press awards lists for performances at the Attic Theatre, was appearing as a guest artist in his winning role. From that same theater, Miriam Yezbick is this year's best supporting actress for her part as the sweetly confused young Russian scientist in "Wild Honey." Longtime Theatre Company technical director Mark Choinski, who has worked on more than 50 shows there, won the newly introduced award for design. I The Lee Hills Award to Leone recognized a 43-year career that caused him to be called "the grand old man of Detroit theater" when he retired from Wayne State University theaters in 1985. Leone, 73, founded both the Bonstelle and the Hilberry Theatres and remains ah active consultant here.

Bilberry's award for "Nicholas Nickleby" See Free Press awards, Page 2B season Monday night in the Free Press' annual awards presentation coincidentally held on its own home stage in front of the "Nickleby" set. The "best play" award was part of a Hilberry sweep of six of the year's nine awards, Relationships When parents can't stand kids ALL IN THE I wyw fW Wf i i -it, Palace gossip, trivial covered in new book by Marj Jackson levin i Free Press Staff Writer an we all hold out until August for, another royal fix? i No need to. August is when Sarah Ferguson, the jolly, insouciant Duchess of York 1 By Lawrence kutner New York Times Two months after Barbara Grubb gave birth to her son, she felt something she had never anticipated. "I was totally exhausted," she said. "The demands on me had reached their limit.

And I thought, 'I love him, but I would pay all the money in the world to get rid of For Grubb, the curator of art at North Carolina State University in Raleigh, the frustration with her son quickly passed. Yet it introduced her to the ambivalent feelings all parents have about their children occasionally but few discuss publicly. They love their children, but there are times when they don't really like them, or at least they don't like what their children are doing. The feeling can occur with children of any age but is most common at two stages of a child's life: infancy and adolescence. If handled well, the problem passes quickly.

If handled poorly, it can escalate into a strong emotional barrier between the parent and the child. "Almost all parents feel irritated and negative toward their babies at some point between six and 12 weeks," said Dr. Michael Yogman, a pediatrician at Boston Children's Hospital. The reasons for these feelings are more physical than psychological. Many infants cry more frequently during their second and third months.

Few babies of this age, and consequently few parents, sleep through the night. Perhaps most important, Yogman said, infants don't smile much before they're 12 weeks old, so parents don't enjoy the social reinforcement they do with older infants. Another factor is how parents perceive the job of being a parent. According to some psychologists, many first-time parents especially those in their 30s idealize their roles. "Their expectations get in the way of their parenting," said Dr.

Alan Entin, a psychologist in Richmond, Va. "The anxiety gets recycled between the parent and the child." The crying child becomes upset by the parent's discomfort and cries more, which in turn increases the parent's frustration. Feelings of ambivalence often become a problem again when children become adolescents. Adolescents are struggling to separate from their parents and from their role as children. To achieve this, they rebel over issues that are important to their parents.

Although a rebellious adolescent's behavior appears to demand an emotional response, experts say that is often the worst thing to do. The social and emotional awkwardness of being a teenager may lead those children to behaviors that at first seem self-defeating or bizarre. Their confusion and insecurities are covered by a veneer of arrogance and implacability. Yet adolescents often bait parents for two reasons: They feel bad about themselves and parents are safe targets. Although it may not feel like it, being verbally attacked by your teenager is often a backhanded compliment.

"One way an adolescent can feel better about himself is to make someone feel worse than he does," said Dr. Stuart Hauser, a psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School. "The people you feel safest attacking are your parents. If you do it to your friends, they'll leave you. But your parents will stick with you." One way to handle the frustration and anger triggered by an adolescent, Hauser said, is to talk about the problem with other parents of teenagers.

And you may simply have to wait awhile for it to get better. Princess Di, left, and Fergie, more formally known respectively as Diana, Princess of Wales, and Sarah, Duchess of York, are shown visiting a frigate in a picture released when Fergie was linked with Prince Andrew who was serving aboard the ship. 1 if it expects to present her husband, Prince Andrew, and her in-laws, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip, with another heir to the British throne. He or she may be way down the line of succession (Prince Andrew is fourth), but the babe will be a royal. The baby will be welcomed into the world with major fanfare and, for the rest of his or her life, be a target of gossip and speculation.

While awaiting the blessed royal event, those among us who like to spend hours reading the most inconsequential royal trivia have a new resource. Authors Jeannie Sakol and Caroline Latham have gathered a mini-encyclopedia of facts and figures about the royal family, their friends and enemies, bon mots and pratfalls into a new book "The Royals" (Congdon Weed i The book speaks to our appetite for royalty flotsam and jetsam. Whenever a royal is born, married or divorced, involved in a feud, an affair or an escapade, or becomes pregnant, every! wrinkle and twinkle is telexed around the world. An example: Father-to-be Prince Andrew stumbled over a coil of rope last week as he boarded the HMS Edinburgh; American newspapers reported it the next day. Another current topic of conversation is Fergie's pregnancy.

Unlike her thin and fashionable Princess Di, Fergie refused to wear maternity clothes until recently. People magazine (May 16) reports that Kathryn Samuel, fashion editor of Britain's Daily i Telegraph, stated bluntly, "She looks like a tank." Other British columnists referred to her appearance in a purple double-breasted suit as a "chock-a-block Easter egg" and, after seeing her curtsy in a short, outgrown shift, "Her Royal Thighness." Now, because of Sakol and Latham, avowed royalists and clandestine fans alike can gorge themselves this summer on the downstairs gossip, feuds, nicknames, affairs, ghosts, hideaways, cars, and love among the royals, listed by subject from A to Z. Want to know who is feuding with whom? St-e ROYAL FAMILY, Page 3B j5 1- i Margaret, "first princess to wear a strapless gown in public," above. Right, a pregnant Fergie. One fashion editor said, "She looks like a tank." THE CARP CHRONICLES By Richard guindon BOTTOM LINE: WHY QUIT IF YOU'RE HAVING FUN? I (bRDWTH ANI? 1 CrtANG THI? A XUUPTOK WHO MO EVERYTHING 1 1WE TO A50DT a fortune were suddenly yours, would you quit your job? It may depend on what job you have.

Most top executives would stick around, according to a national survey hum-'. 5rKAN6SK TO MllHKOOM ARE KK THS- VAKP THM" 7fU- TAKING CHANGE, middle management executives and only five percent of top executives would. C'mon! If this guy won $20 million in a lottery, would he really keep working? Messmer, flying cross country Monday, was unavailable to answer, but "you're not the first person to ask that question," said his secretary. "His answer is yes. He would keep working." We submit, however, that it's more fun to run a board meeting from a striped cabana on Molokai than it is to deliver the company mail or handle the switchboard.

By Ellen Creager of 100 corporate personnel directors. To them, "work is much more likely to be a stimulating opportunity than a tedious obligation," says Max Messmer, president of Robert Half International, a San Francisco headhunting outfit that commissioned the study. Personnel directors estimated 37 percent of staff workers would retire right away if they became wealthy; 11 percent of.