Detroit Free Press from Detroit, Michigan • Page 22

Si coping DTmOT FREE PRESSWEDNESDAY. MARCH 25. 1967 2B Go, blues and here's how Ann Lenders Mom is a surgery addict TTI ijA Lena COT O'Ccsncr 1 wefcttj. you've even poured a cup of coffee. Put them off for those few minutes, while you decide what needs doing.

A sense of control will help combat that overwhelmed feeling. Don't quit. Beware: All the things you hated about work are likely to look even more grotesque now that you've returned. Make no rash decisions while you're in this state, but do resolve to settle some of the most abrasive Issues before your next vacation. Being away may have given you the perspective to make realistic goals that will improve your work life.

If you're lucky, you'll have a case of post-vacation bliss, that gentle state during which nobody and nothing bothers you; it lasts a few days at best. Soon enough, the same old irritants will creep back into your consciousness. When that happens, you will be wise to conjure up that blissful state again. On rotten days, it can be your only reminder that nothing is all that important. Z-zzzz.

Don't expect too much from yourself these first few days. You may be fatigued, disoriented and a little depressed. Put in a normal day's work, go home and play a little. Give yourself something to look forward to at work when you return. Before you leave, plan a lunch with someone you like, or whatever it takes to make you cheery.

Why do you think I stashed those Girl Scout cookies? contributed to that pile. It's bad enough to come back to work; you don't have to compound it by coming back to a chaotic work station full of stuff you don't remember. Homeward bound. Everybody wants to squeeze as much vacation as possible into that week or two. But I know people who build in a decompression day at the end.

This is the day, a full day before returning to work, when they do their laundry, relax and otherwise reconcile themselves to the fact that there are no palm-tree-lined beaches here. One of the most uncomfortable parts of returning from vacation is the abruptness of change from pleasure to work. Buffer yourself against It. Maybe your body can stand dashing right in to work after 10 hours on a plane from Greece. But what are you trying to prove? Cough, cough.

Don't call in sick on your first day back. The temptation may be overwhelming, but it's better just to march in and face it. Whatever you're anxious to avoid at work, it's not going to be any better tomorrow, especially if you add the guilt of playing hooky. If you really are sick, that's different. One moment, please.

On that first day back, before you start putting out all those fires that started while you were gone, give yourself a quiet 15 minutes to set your own agenda for the week. People are likely to start making demands on you before I'm back from vacation, and about as happy as a fish in a gill net. Downright miserable, in fact. Yes, folks, nobody is immune to the back-from-vacation blues. By the time you read this, I hope I'll be functioning at something like normal speed again, but as I write this I'm completely out of sync, swilling black coffee and inhaling Girl Scout cookies in an attempt to comfort myself.

After my first conversation of the morning, I noticed my colleagues seemed to be talking very fast, in some language I couldn't quite recall, Later, I realized it was the language of work. MAYBE IT'S BETTER just to work all the time, without vacations, because the transition back to work is so painful. It seems cruel, in a way, to give us just enough time off to sniff the fresh air of leisure. The longer (or better) the vacation, the harder the return. Returning from a year-long leave of absence, I felt as out of place as a Martian.

Everybody was so busy doing things I could hardly remember. Nothing can make you truly delighted to return to work. In fact, I view with great suspicion those people who return to work all charged up and ready to go again. Clearly, they didn't have enough fun while they were gone. But you can cushion the blow.

It helps to plan ahead: I have been arguing about something for several weeks. We need the opinion of an unbiased outsider. Our son Chris is 17. He wants to work in a shopping mall after school and on weekends. Several of his friends work there.

They make $5.15 an hour. We are upper middle-class people. Chris gets an allowance and does not need to work. I am opposed to his taking this job because his grades are just fair and if he works they will be worse. His father says Chris needs the discipline that a job will provide, plus it will teach him how to handle money.

He keeps reminding me that he worked at various jobs after school starting when he was 1 4 and it prepared him for a successful career. What do you say, Ann? At Loggerheads in San Mateo Dear San Mateo: There's a great deal of validity to what your husband says, but a teenager's principal job should be school. If he Is doing no better than fair, it would be foolish to let him work in the shopping mall. Too often school work suffers when mediocre students take on part-time employment. In many homes, it is essential that the teenagers work to help buy food and clothing or to save for college.

But in the case of Chris, tell him to forget it. Ann Landers will reply to all questions accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Copyright Lot Aneelei Timet Syndicate. Don't leave borne without Some of your post-vacation therapy must occur before you take off. Before you go, finish those jobs that otherwise will be hanging over your head when you return.

The more loose ends you tie up, the easier it Is to forget work and enjoy yourself. Cleanliness next to sanity. Clean your desk before you go. Part of that will be taken care of if you make all the calls and write all the memos that were stacking up anyway. As for the rest, be brutal.

If you can't take care of it before you leave, jot It down on a list for the week of your return. Hi, my name is, uh Don't make fun of that little list. It can be the best defense against post-vacation amnesia (PVA). If I've had a good time, I have trouble remembering my coworkers' names, never mind the deadline project that's due tomorrow. Throw out what you can, delegate if possible; then file or pile the rest, off your desk.

Of course, your desk will be piled up with new mall, messages and memos when you return, but at least you won't have resigned was to thwart a hostile takeover attempt. Roberts told his listeners that God told him if he didn't raise $8 million in contributions by the end of March he would be called to heaven. "Surprisingly, I don't think we've had one call In protest, asking us to take the (PTL) program off the air," said Joe Spencer, Channel 62 program director. Rather than solicit sponsors to buy advertising for the programs, WGPR sells Its air time directly to Bakker's program, which airs from 7 to 8 a.m., noon to 1 and 9 to 10 p.m. weekdays.

Spencer said that while no one has called protesting the program, neither Local TV flock mostly silent MSrfj parent talk I Evelyn Petersen Theft problem Dear Ann Landers: My mother is 55 years old. Since Dad died, 12 years ago, she has had two face-lifts, her nose done over three times, a breast reduction operation, liposuction on ber thighs, a bunionectomy, a facial dermabrasion, an appendectomy and surgeries for ulcers which two gastrointestinal specialists said could be treated by diet. She has had back problems for three months and is looking for a doctor who will perform surgery "to fix it once and for all." Our family physieian can't talk her out of it. She is determined. Why would a person want an operation? Please explain what is going on with my mother.

I am baffled. No name or cfty, please. Just sign me Distressed in the West Dear Distressed: Your mother has a polysurgical addiction, a compulsive need to be operated on. According to Dr. Mary Ruth Wright from the Baylor College of Medicine, surgery addicts are people who are filled with guilt and anxiety that goes back to unresolved problems in childhood.

They get a psychological lift from operations, feeling certain that their troubles will somehow be "cut out" with the surgery. Surgery addicts resist therapy. They have a sick need to undergo surgery and know that if they look hard and long enough they will find a doctor who will operate. Dear Ann Landers: My husband and Meet the man inside the Hulk HULK HOGAN, from Page 1B Vardo, now a psychology teacher and baseball coach at Plant High In Tampa, played third base on that team. 'Terry didn't get real excited, but no matter what he did, he wanted to be the best," he says.

"Little League pitcher, bowler, musician, he wanted to be the best. I Imagine that's why he's become so successful in wrestling." BOLLEA'S baseball career ended with an elbow injury at 1 4. He dropped team sports and picked up a guitar. He also began to lift weights. Well-liked but not particularly ac-; tl ve aside from his senior picture, he drew no mention in the yearbook Bollea graduated from Robinson High I in 1 97 1 He went on to the University of South Florida in Tampa, studying business and music.

Only a sophomore, he was working on the docks when op-: portunity wrapped him In a hammer-; lock In 1975. Jerry and Jack Brisco, pro wres-i tllng promoters and former collegiate champions, kept noticing this big blond kid at their matches. One hot summer night, they went to see him at a bar. "It looked real strange," says Jerry Brisco. "Here was this huge guy, 6-foot-8, with what looked like a toothpick in his hands, playing bass guitar.

He had blond hair, and plenty of it, and a headband. "He was awesome-looking. Real tan. A good-looking type guy. You can look at a kid and see championship all over him.

It didn't take a genius to tell the guy was going to be instant." Between sets, the Briscos asked Bollea if he had ever considered wrestling. "My brother was (regional) heavyweight champion at the time," Jerry Brisco says, "and I think Terry was a little bit in awe. He said that's what he'd always dreamed of doing, as far back as he could remember." The Briscos then set about trying to test hfs dedication. In the process, they cost themselves a few million dollars. i Bakker raises questions By STEPHEN ADVOKAT Free Pretl Communicetiont Writer Sex, blackmail and do-or-die fund-raising apparently don't deter local followers of television ministries.

Executives of WGPR-TV (Channel 62) and WJBK-TV (Channel 2), which air Jim Bakker's "The PTL Club" and Oral Roberts' "Expect a Miracle" shows, respectively, say they've received few calls about the programs and are not planning changes. LAST WEEK Bakker resigned his PTL ministry and admitted he had paid $1 15,000 to cover up a sexual encounter with a church secretary in the early 1970s. Monday he said the reason he Fall of Jim JIM BAKKER, from Page 1B local churches," he said. "Often TV Is a substitute for other kinds of church activity." BUT FOR THOSE outside the religious right, the Bakker situation "is an enormous reinforcement of what they believed all along: the image of the preacher scoundrel," said Jeffrey Had-den, a sociologist at the University of Virginia and author of a 1981 book on television evangelists and one due out this fall that centers on Pat Robertson. "The great tragedy," said the Rev.

Carl F.H. Henry, an evangelical theologian from Arlington, "is that it tends to put a question mark over the integrity of religious fund-raising." Said Hadden: "There Is a lot of debt out there," referring to the ministry's operating expenses, "(The ministry) is dependent upon a continual flow of money. How do you keep It coming? You may make out for a few days, maybe weeks but people tune into PTL because it is highly intense, highly personal. It is high energy. People Identify with the personalities.

People get excited when Jim and Tammy tell have, viewers called in to support Bakker. WJBK-TV, which airs Roberts' program Sundays from 7 to 7:30 a.m., also thinks the publicity surrounding "Expect a Miracle" has neither helped nor hurt the show. "When he made the announcement that God was going to call him, we got under 20 calls," said marketing director Maria Drutz. "Half said, how can you carry a program when this guy is trying to pull this stunt? The others wanted to know what the claim was and how could they help. "That's not really a lot (of calls).

If we don't carry a basketball game, we'll get 300 calls." 1 If (Falwell) launches the Bakker enterprise into a ministry that represents the evangelical movement broadly it could be a dramatic forward movement in co-operative Christianity. "It seems to me that (Fal well) has an opportunity to really show that he intends a broad evangelical witness. He has an opportunitylo put action to his words. That would be the highest good that could come out of (this)." THEN THERE IS the question of Bakker's future. The Rev.

Ivar Frick, superintendent of the 600-minister, 250-church Assembly of God denomination in Michigan, doesn't think that Bakker will reappear as an Assembly of God minister. To do that, Frick said, Bakker would have to undergo a minimum of two years of church-sponsored rehabilitation. "We work with the man and salvage him," said Frick, "and If everything goes according to plan, he is reinstated in full. I don't think (Bakker) would want to subject himself to two years of being isolated from the (ministry)." Frick said he thinks Bakker will just be an indepenent minister. QMyl beal My 1 1 -year-old stepdaughter may kleptomaniac.

I ve been mar' ried to her father for about six months and about every week or two small amounts of money, makeup, ac-cessories and pieces of my jewelry have been missing. Once when I was shopping with her in a drugstore, I think I saw her sneak something into her pocket. I'm new at being a stepmom and I want her to like me, but this is too serious to Ignore. D.C., Cadillac A Kleptomania is a compulsive habit and those afflicted often steal odd items for which they have no use. I don't believe your stepdaughter is a kleptomaniac.

There are other reasons why she may be repeating this self-defeating and unhealthy behavior. Your stepdaughter needs your help. She may be stealing items from you because she really wants your love but doesn't know how to approach you. Or she may be trying to get even for the love she feels her father is taking away from her and giving to you. Children also steal or tell lies because they need to feel Important; this comes from a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem.

Sometimes they think, "I'm not Important. I'm not good at things, but I'm good at this!" You need to talk this over with your husband and with your stepdaughter. You may also want to explore the possibility of family counseling. Note to Royal Oak and Pontiac: Two readers one the parent of three-and six-year-olds who asked about behavior when company visits and one the parent of a two-year-old who won't nap forgot to give me addresses. Send me a self-addressed envelope and I will answer your letters.

Evelyn Petersen Is an educator In early childhood and parenting education. She can be heard on WGPR (107.5 FM) Wednesdays at 12:30 and 8 p.m. Write her at Box 828, Detroit 48231. them to get excited. (The show) is a live soap opera more than any other broadcast in America.

If you don't replace them in some form, off go the television sets, and the checkbooks are closed. "Those who say that Jerry Falwell" the leader of the Moral Majority and the man Bakker chose to succeed him as head of the PTL "Is the big gainer from this that is nonsense," says Hadden. "All Jerry has to inherit is a lot of headaches." AND MAYBE NOT even the soul of the congregation, some suggest. The Bakkers' style "is more the looking and touching more emotion is involved whereas Fal well's is a more restrained kind of conservative said Scherer. "It remains to be seen If he can pick up the following." That appears to be Falwell's task: Trying to coalesce Bakker's evangelicals with his own more conservative fundamentalists.

Said Henry: "Jerry Falwell represents a wider spectrum of conservative Christianity than did Bakker and the charismatic forces that launched PTL, Sylvester Stallone as Rocky battles the formidable Thunderlips (Hoflan) in "Rocky III." Those words echo In my ears every time I see him on TV." BOLLEA'S DEBUT finally came in a high school gym In Ft. Pierce, before maybe 1,500 people. Bollea, billed as Sterling Golden, wasn't even advertised on the card. He had no robe, no T-shirt, just a towel around his neck. "All of a sudden here comes this big creature and there's just dead silence," says Jerry Brisco, relishing the memory.

"By the time he got through the crowd Into the ring, they were giving him a standing ovation. He went out, stumbled around for a while he was still real raw and got the pin. People rushed the ring like nothing I've ever seen for a newcomer. It gave you goose bumps." Bollea worked the backwoods for more than a year, making $25 or $35 a night and paying his own expenses. In the late '70s, he moved to Venice, to work with promoter Freddie Blassie.

There, he began to pump iron In earnest, sculpting the biceps he calls "my 24-inch pythons Although he still lists "Venice Beach" as home, It was New York where Bollea made his mark. Vince McMahon head of the World Wrestling Federation, christened him Hulk Hogan and put him to work. Sylvester Stallone saw Hogan on New York television and cast him as the wrestler Thunderlips in Rocky III. Reaction was overwhelming; by the end of 1982, even before the WWF had used cable television and syndication to beam its product nationwide and take control of wrestling, Hulk Hogan was household synonym for Immensity Vince McMahon who had taken over the WWF from his ailing father, signed him to a contract and the merchandising began. No Hogan is a doll, a cartoon hero, a singer, a talk-show guest and a national idol.

While Rowdy Roddy 1 Piper spouts racial slurs and the Iron Sheik spits at the American flag, Hogan tells legions of Hulksters to drink milk, "the breakfast of body slammers." Still a bachelor, Hogan doesn't drink or smoke. He wears a large crucifix incensed when Andre the Giant hurled it to the ground, Hogan accepted the challenge that became the main event of Wrestlemania III and says he has God in his corner. And he does visit hospitals under the auspices of children's foundations like Starlight and Make-A-Wish. "He just met with about a dozen kids in Miami," Brisco says. "I just got a letter from a mother down there.

She said that about two weeks later, the kid passed away. But for those two weeks, meeting Hulk Hogan was all the kid talked about." The visits aren't easy for him, Brisco says. "Hogan is a shy person. He's still not very aggressive outside the ring." Backstage In a bar, though, on a sweltering Florida night, he said he wanted to be a wrestler. "And from then on there wasn't no holding him back." cw mssM sm to BOLLEA'S INTRODUCTION to wrestling came on a steamy Florida morning in an old building with no air conditioning.

"It was probably 125 degrees In there," Jerry Brisco says. "We worked his rear end off. There was maybe six people there and they all left puking and holding their stom- achs. "I figured that was the last we'd see of the rock 'n' roller. The next morning, 9 a he was right back," Bollea's mother didn't like wres- tliig any more than she liked football, and she frequently failed to relay phone messages from the Briscos.

The Briscos tested her son's devotion dally, trying to make sure he was worth the training. They worked on moves and balance, new material for someone who had always relied on prodigious strength. One morning a teacher snapped Bollea's ankle. "Again, we figured that was the last we've seen of the rock 'n' roller," i Brisco says. "The next day, there he was, with his ankle all wrapped up.

He said, 'You guys aren't going to get rid of me that He cracked only once, after four or five months of unrelenting misery, on an August afternoon when the heat was torturous. "Biggest mistake I ever made," Brisco says. "He said, 'I can't take It any more. I don't care. I'll give you 25 percent of everything I ever earn.

Just let me get out of here and start wrestling "My brother said, 'To hell with yon and your money. You just can't take it. Get your butt in the ringnd keep on need to become highly-skilled in state-of-the-art nursing. Join us and find out how you too can become a CHECK INTO THESE SPECIAL POSITIONS: Recovery Room Surgical ICU Cardiac ICU Intermediate Intensive Units Medical ICU Emergency Room Call 972-1821 for more information. Ask for Sharon Bergmann or Jay Holden.

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