Detroit Free Press from Detroit, Michigan • Page 22

a a a a a a a a Jan. 29, '71 DETROIT FREE PRESS VIGOROUS, UNCOORDINATED Ellen She Wants To Reclaim A Boyfriend Q. My boyfriend just broke up with me (sound familiar?) but I still love him. He's dating someone else now. His new girl is too possessive.

If she ever even saw me talking to him, she'd have a bird I know it. He can't possibly be happy with a girl like that. I really want to go back to him. What is the best way do Towson, Md. A.

Let's not assume "he can't possibly be happy with a girl like that." That's for him to decide, isn't it? But there's no reason you can't try, I suppose. The best way is to talk to him now and then, as a friend. I said, as a friend. Please don't make any silly statements like, "I'd really, "Are like you to go really back happy with with you," her?" ask or any you'll silly blow it. questions If and it's a big "it" his girlfriend is and does object to your casual talks, he may become annoyed with her.

That may not mean that he'll be interested in dating you again (he broke up with you once, remember) but at least your casual, friendly talks with him may present the possibility to him. Q. My problem is to avoid being sent to summer camp. I have to act now, because my mom already has the application on the kitchen table, ready to fill out. She says I should go: (1) to get merit badges; (2) "because it's good for you;" and (3) "because you'll have fun." I say "no" because: (1) the family never does anything together in the summer, and I'd like for us to; (2) I haven't liked camp any of the times she's made me go; (3) it's not going to be "good for me" or fun for me if I'm against the whole idea; and (4) I am just not very keen on merit badges.

Please tell me how to keep a certain parent, who won't even discuss the matter with me, from mailing in that -AL Pittsburgh. A. (1.) Be prepared to tell your mother specifically why you have not enjoyed summer camp in other years. At least, she might then consider a different summer camp. (2) Suggest some alternate activities for the summer.

Could the whole family take a brief trip for about the same cost as summer camp? Could you make such a trip sound attractive to her? Go to a travel agency and pick up brochures on Eastern national parks, historical sites. They should give you some ideas. If your mother truly will not discuss this, try leaving long, heartfelt notes around until she does see her way clear to talk it over. (Leave some of the travel brochures around, too.) (4.) Talk to your father. If he, too, likes the idea of a "family summer," you've got a valuable ally.

furious! Every time I spend money on a new outfit, one of my sorority sisters goes and and buys exactly the same outfit. It has happened just one too many times. I spent several hours putting together a rather complicated outfit: scarf, vest, belt, knickers, tights. Susan asked me where I bought the things, and I foolishly told her. The next day, she had duplicated everything.

Several of my other sisters have talked to her before, but it evidently has done no good at all. After this, I'm ready to take more direction action. But what? FRAN, Indianapolis. A. You have about three choices.

Select one, depending on your personality and on the degree of tolerance you have for Susan after you cool off from this latest episode: (1.) Be cagey or vague about where you buy your things. If you don't answer directly, she'll be rather at a loss. She's not apt to search through every department in every department store in town. (2.) Have an honest but not hostile talk with her. You might begin by jokingly saying, "You know, Susan, I notice you don't seem to have too much independence when it comes to selecting clothing.

Have you been aware of that, too?" You might even take her shopping and help her select some things of her own. (3.) Be flattered that she admires your own taste; realize that she hasn't developed her own style yet; and patiently wait until she does. ELLEN PECK. they are engaged Conlogue-Fuller Mrs. Robert Conlogue of Minneapolis announces the engagement of her daughter, Madeleine Jean, to Edward A.

Fuller, son of Mr. and Mrs. Ernest Fuller of Orchard Lake. Miss Conlogue is also the daughter of the late Mr. Conlogue.

She attended Ferris State College; her fiance is a student there. No wedding date has been set. Coleman-Levens Mr. and Mrs. William A.

Moss of Detroit announce the engagement of their daughter Segandina Coleman to Dwight R. Levens, son of Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Levens also of Detroit. Miss Coleman a and her fiance attend Wayne State University.

They will wed in May. Schaerges-Lopus Mr. and Mrs. Robert S. Schaerges of Franklin announce the engagement of their daughter Jane to Lyle L.

Lopus, son of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Lopus of Johannesburg, Mich. Miss Schaerges is a graduate of the University of Michigan. Her fiance is a graduate of U-M's Law School.

An August wedding is planned. TRAVELERS' LODGE INN Located on the St. Clair River Gourmet strip, invites you to take with us the finest of food quality cocktails. Dancing Fridey Saturday nights to the music of an outstanding combo. Our "SUNDAY" dinner bell rings noon to 10 P.M.

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Week-end Lodge reservations call collect 364-8400. All major credit cards honored. The Many Facets of Women's Lib BY EILEEN FOLEY Free Press Staff Writer The women's liberation movement may scare or annoy you. Or it may make perfect sense. You might find its tactics laughable, or offensive, or just plain effective.

Take the miniskirted "mad Minas" of Amsterdam, for example. Staging a protest last year, they sat on their parked bikes and whistled at men, invaded men's bars and pinched men's bottoms. Unseemly behavior for a lady? Perhaps. But quite appropriate for women who were sick and tired of being poked, patted and pinched by anonymous men in crowded streets and buses. Some Dutch men were amused by the "Minas," others were outraged.

But they all got the point. Detroiters who consider abortion on murder doubtless tanta- got the willies last summer at he sight of libbers, veiled and draped in black, who surrounded the Wayne County Morgue and hexed the prosecutor to protest Michigan's abortion laws. But to the protesters, the demonstration dramatized their belief that no woman should be forced to have a baby she doesn't want. If abortion were legalized, they reasoned, women would stop dying from botched, unsterile backroom operations. No One Approach Many women's lib strategies, like these, are attention getters, designed to emphasize a specific viewpoint that at least a few sisters in the movement share.

Yet women's lib, as a movement, has no one approach, no one solution to women's problems of second-class citizenship. It proceeds on many fronts at once, always vigor ous, seldom coordinated. In the Amsterdam demonstration, the libbers' gambit was festive bitchery. In Detroit it was witchery. There are other tactics: IN CHICAGO, in August, Mrs.

Carol B. Moore, research chemist, began a legal protest. She filed a $100 million class action ($1 for every woman in America) in federal court, charging two brokerage houses with denying her profits. They had refused to sell her commodities futures because she is a woman. IN WASHINGTON last fall, it was shrewd politicking.

Michigan Rep. Martha Griffiths marshaled enough support to push the equal rights amendment through the U.S. House of representatives. IN ANN ARBOR in October, it was disruption. Rep.

Griffiths was heckled by radical women who opposed her reformist, rather than revolutionary, approach to women's problems. As multifaceted and makeshift as the movement is, it enlists a few more sisters every day, libbers say. Then One Day, It Happened Yet a majority of American women haven't been bitten by WA EIGENDE 000 AP Photo A bare protest in Holland: The words mean of my own Some are women who always stayed at home and enjoyed it, never aware of themselves as political beings. Others quibbled secretly with their lot, but didn't know what to do about it. Still others had always been explosively angry and frustrated over how little one person could do.

Then, poof, one day something happened to these women to make things differnt. A new awareness and a vision were born, along with a strong urge to join together for a common cause. Where any woman plugs into the movement depends a lot on where she is in age, social class, knowledge, experience and politics. You can't quite imagine a suburban matron being comfortable, say, among Sisters Rising, group of revolutionary women on the University of Michigan campus, or among radical lesbians anywhere. Radicalism Frightens Some In fact, the radicalism of some factions of women's lib makes many interested, but timid women leery of joining even the relatively staid National Organization for Women NOW would hesitate to demonigan vice president, Marge Levin.

"A month or so ago I got a call from a woman who wanted to join NOW, but only if it were not organization like the one that put on demonstrations like the Ann Arbor teach-in," she said. "I tried to explain the wide spectrum of activity in womlib and how each group did its own thing. said I didn't thank anyone has a right to disrupt someone else's thing, but 1 don't think NOW would hesitate to demonstrate for a specific cause. We have done it." NOW's political approach to the insitutionalized inequality of women is reformist, not revolutionary, says Mrs. Levin.

Abigail Warned John On the other hand, some radical women feel they are misunderstood because their foes lack historical perspective. They say that radical, disruptive female activism has Daw BIRMINGHAM GROSSE POINTE DETROIT ANN ARBOR DEARBORN GRAND RAPIDS EAST LANSING Che Face Shirt. Smartly and versatile All nailer White and Blue, de old. S. 8.

Phone and Wail 0000 006 2600 Most Despair Sensationalism Most women in liberation despair of the sensational attention given their more colorful sisters in the movement. They say it makes people think all women are weird, or crazy, or both. "Now everyone for women's rights who wants to be considered serious says, 'I'm no bra Pat Burnett said. "In fact, there have been no bras burned by women- only by Detroit disc jockey Dick Purtan." Mrs. Burnett says New York NOW's speaker's bureau, which has a voluminous roster of women qualified to speak for the movement, is continually being asked to produce an unusual radical lesbian for an interview.

"These are attempts to discredit the movement," she says. The trend within the movement today is never to discredit another women or apologize for another woman. Important To Know Why To understand women's reluctance to be critical of each other, it is important to know why today's radicals employ disruptive tactics, such as those seen in Ann Arbor at a women's teach-in this fall. There, a group of young women, inspired by three of six panelists, pi ed the stage and heckled panelist, Martha Griffiths, in attempt to alter the format of the session. Debra Thal, one of Sisters Rising, the student group of revolutionary women which spearheaded that action, viewed the events this way: "At the teach-in, lots of mistakes were made.

Snatching a mike out of another woman's (Rep. Griffiths) hand was wrong, the result of confusion. "Generally, the rest of the action, not allowing the panel structure to continue, was completely necessary because three of the women on the panel poet-editor Robin Morgan, sociologist Marlene Dixon and radical lesbian Nadine Miller felt they couldn't express themselves creatively in that confining and oppressive structure." She said panels were oppressive because they give the idea "that there are experts on women's and that setting time limits on speaker is arbitrary. "Also," she said, "The space relationship between en people up on the stage and down in the audience is just inherently oppressive." The adage "it's the squeaking wheel which gets greased," seems to be a common sense reason for disruptive tactics. "For 1,500 years women have been talking and asking for things nicely.

The time has come when talking isn't really enough," Debra said. "It would be really nice if you could ask and get a lot of different things, but everything that has happened at U- has come about through demonstration and A Decade Of Frustration' In a more general way, history grad student Leslie Bluestone, who's a member of the women's caucus of a group called New University Conference (she calls it graduate SDS) agrees. tactics come from anti-war and civil rights PROBLEM PERSPIRATION SOLVED well-established roots in American society. For instance, in 1776 Abigail Adams warned her husband John, before he became President, that American women would foment rebellion and not obey laws they had no voice in making. In a more modern vein, Oakland University sociology professor Carol Andreas observes: "In general, I wouldn't apologize for women doing whatever they think is necessary.

We have all gotten angry at times in our lives. Maybe those were our finest hours." Involvement in the women's struggle, at any level, appears to be a radicalizing experience. Michigan NOW president Pat Burnett, generally moderate and charming in language and manner, returned from a three -day, 24-hour vigil in Washington last month, raving and indignant. She had been one of a coalition of women's groups that supported Senate action on the equal rights amendment. "They treated us like criminals." she said.

"They locked the doors at the top of the stairs so senators couldn't go by. They jeered us. "And six police cars watched the 13 or 14 of us there. Policemen walked up and down taking our pictures. They did everything but take our fingerprints.

"If they don't recognize our needs and demands, will swing farther and farther," she said, echoing Abigail Adams. Another example suggests how movement thinking rubs off on non-participants. Recently, a woman who worked as an administrative assistant in a downtown Detroit firm was invited to take over most of her boss's duties because he was not up to planning and supervising necessary innovations. The woman, who asked not be identified, was told she would receive a raise, but neither her boss's title (vice president), not his salary. "I just had to refuse," she said.

"If merit and ability are what count, I should have his job. There's just no reason for me to have to cover for him." Only a few years ago her stance would have been unthinkable. Today's lib women, when they hear her story, smile and nod their heads i in assent to her rebellion. even for thousands who perspire heavily different formula has been found to keep underarms absolutely dryeven for thousands who perspire heavily. After decades of common it took a chemical Invention to make this truly effective protection possible with the same safety to clothing the same akin mildness as popular "deodorants." Called Mitchum Anti-Perspirant, it is the product of a trustworthy 56-year-old laboratory.

By the thousands, women with problem perspiration are finding the protection they need Available at Your Favorite With Most It Misses Boat AP Phoio In Chicago, Carol Moore filed suit. groups. We grew up believing should be fair. We felt 'If we tell you the other side, surely things will work out But blacks kept getting shot. The war went on.

"These techniques come out of a whole decade of frustration. Then, too, women really are angry very impatient with people they see as not where they Leslie, a child of the labor movement, (her father is UAW president Leonard Woodcock and her father-in-law, UAW'S GM director Irving Bluestone), doesn't consider herself especially radical. The teach-in tactics upset her. "I was moved by the number of older women there," she said. "They kept coming to workshops on alternatives to marriage, and they were only given radical lesbianism, which is not an alternative if you are unhappy with your husband and live in Birmingham.

She would like to see union organization of low wage women clerical, sales, domestic deworkerthings so they could like day care. "There's a legitimate fear," she said, "that women's lib will become a movement that will get more women doctors and bigger salaries for women professors. And there's enormous sex discrimination among working class women." Her fears, shared by many women, have some practical bases. U.S. Labor Department figures indicate that close to 85 percent of all working women are employed in routine, semi-skilled, low-paying Unclaimed FURS FROM STORAGE BEING SOLD STARTS Jan.

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Furs on sale for limited time only. TRADE- INS ACCEPTED! Fur products labeled to show country of orgin of imported furs. Place CLEANERO At Our FAULTLESS STORE ONLY 4737 ELMHURST (Nr. Grand River, between Livernois and Broadstreet) To date, women's lib has been mainly a middle class phenomenon which misses the boat with most women. "They talk about a woman's right to work and to child care," one woman said, "but they still don't realize that staying home, keeping the house clean, raising kids and having a husband to pay the bills really represents freedom (from dull, dumb, low-paying jobs) to a large number of American women." A spokesman for the Women's Liberation Coalition of Michigan says its employment committee works exclusively with the problems of low-income women.

The coalition is an amorphous, unstructured, nonhierarchal conglomerate of women all political, social and economic statuses. It has no membership roster, no officers and no dues. Consequently, it has no idea how many women identify with it or belong to groups that are part of it. "The only criteria for joining is to be against male chauvinism," according to. Mrs.

Toby Seder, who is deeply involved in coalition work. Mrs. Seder feels that the SOcalled "happy housewife" would admit to a lot of anxiety and rage if she felt free to gripe. To give women this freedom to vent their hostilities, coalition meetings are closed to men. She says that a number of young wives she has talked to admit they are trapped, but want to stay married and they don't know how to renegotiate the contract with their husbands.

She said that any group of women, such as those with low incomes, not represented in the coalition are missing because they haven't chosen to become, involved. actively The group does, participants. pursue Whether this open, but passive, stance will lure the 85 percent of women who work at dull, low paid jobs into the women's lib movement remains questionable. New in the neighborhood? Hs not all The Welcome Wagon hostess will help! Phone WO 1-7750 Or Peyerk-Majeshi Mr. and Mrs.

Joseph Peyerk Sr. of Bad Axe announce the engagement of their daughter Barbara Ann to Dennis J. Majeski, son of Mr. and Mrs. Donald Majeski also of Bad Axe.

Miss Peyerk attends Bad Axe High School. Her fiance is a graduate of the school. And Arbor Birm'ham Bedford Allen Park Belleville BI'd W. Berkley Brighton Cedarville Chelsea Clawsan Dearbern Dren. Nts.

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Clemens 465-3958 Now Bait. 725-7328 Northville 453-5369 453-1566 Ridge 544-7275 Plymouth 453-5369 453-1716 Orehard Laks 334-3331 Riverview 282-8159 Rockwond 379-3864 Roseville 293.9355 Royal Oak 544-7275 Saline 429-4436 St. CI. Sh. 772-9236 293-9355 Southfield 646-7136 EL Southgate 676-6008 Lathrup Village EL 6-0065 South Lyon 437-2430 Sterling 731-6192 Taylor 782-1659 Temperance 847-7761 Trenton 676-5796 Troy MU 9-4000 689-2354 Utica 731-6928 Walled Lt.

624-3455 Wayne 728-2560 Westland 427-2766 Woodhaven 676-5796 676-3022 Wyandotte 676-6008 434-3250 AREA Iminy City RA 4-7655 lenla 527-2110 (shpeming 475-9947 Iron Mt. 774-0966 Jackson 782-7095 Kalamazoo 344-2181 174-0966 LA. Fenton 629-5724 Lansino. 485-7903 E. Lansing 485-5051 Linden 629-5724 Marine city 762-2241 Marquette 226-3616 Mason 676-5019 863-5297 Midland 631-1687 894-8619 744-9588 683-6481 Hastett 337-7453 725-8349 Peteskey 347-4681 Pinckney 694-9376 Portage 344-8029 Heron YU Richland 629-9453 792-6034 637-3931 Marie 632-3108 VI 2-1036 Clair Johns 224-6116 Sturgis 651-8686 Teeuniseh Tray.

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