Detroit Free Press from Detroit, Michigan • Page 29

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1996DETROIT FREE PRESS 7D utta my Tuesdav-moanin' I mind, Wonder who started our Irritating vogue words are dying out! Not! most overworked hio conversational warn i a "Don't co there!" about a fmWMpn TALBERT I 7' How long has 'Saturday Night Live' been unfunny, and was it ever really as funny as we thought it was? particularly traffic and weather, don't they? a big bow.Woodrow B. Woody. He just turned 89 and works every day selling cars at his Woody Pontiac, serving Detroit and Hamtramck for 56 years. If one man's selling the same brand of car for 56 straight years isn't a national record, it must be close. Funny magazine ad for Sauza tequila's "Life is hard Your tequila shouldn't be." Shows a diner reading a fortune-cookie fortune: "That wasn't chicken." Loved this sweatshirt slogan spotted on an older woman watching the Royal Oak parade of pierced, dyed posers: "I'm not as dumb as you look." what thinost-popular sports jersey number is? Nationally it could be No.

8, favored by such popular quarterbacks as Cowboy Troy Aikman and 49er Steve Young. No baseball, basketball or hockey numbers seem to stand out, do they? Got a message for Bob? Call 1-313-223-4457 anytime. Or fax him: subject or taboo topic? Should we string them up? It's as irritating as Well, at least "Duh!" and "Not!" seem to be dying out My wife, Lynn, has added the overused pop-psyche cliche "nurturing" to her list of irritating vogue words favored by the terminally pretentious.Alreadyonthelist "centered" and "grounded." Makes it even worse, she says, when these folks describe themselves as "very visual," a hot candidate for her Put-a-Zipper-on-It list. I can remember when Santa Claus had a red nose and none of the reindeer did. You, too? Heads up, Tim Allen and Bob Seger.

Robert Thibodeau, the psychic astrologer of Berkley's Mayflower Books, says your astrological aspects are right for fatherhood, one," she notes, and not "one hundred and one" or "a hundred and one" dalmatians. ItH be a dumb move if the other rock stations stop playing Ted Nugent music now that he is doing mornings on hard-rocking WWBR-FM (102.7). I the radio community is wondering how long Ted can keep up his interest in doing a daily morning radio show. Is Ted wondering, too? An anonymous clerk, who says she's speaking for other salesclerks, calls to ask that customers refrain from the unsanitary practice of licking their fingers before they count their money and hand it to clerks. The cold and flu season is the worst time.

Anyone else battle stomach flu for a week like I just did? Awful, wasn't it? I've loved craggy-faced really as funny as we thought it was? Stouffer's Northland Inn, shuttered for more than a decade, is on the auctioneer's block once again. No one can figure out a new life for this once-hot Wayne-Oakland County border meeting spot. When I came to town in 1968, the restaurant in that Southfield hotel at Northland overlooking the Lodge Freeway was the site for many of the area's major business deals and decision-making breakfasts and lunches. If Justine Bateman weren't on it, I'd probably never watch "Men Behaving Badly." What's worse than Fox football analyst John Madden's effusive love for sweaty, dirt-covered, rugged aspects of football? Those other new jocks-turned-experts who imitate him. people on car phones really help radio news reports, The pop psychic says signs point to "a baby or new, restructured show" in Allen's life, and Seger has "aspects for another baby or another album in the works by will deliver these prophecies and other predictions for 1997 at a 7 p.m.

lecture Dec. 15 at OM Vegetarian Cafe in Ferndale. I agree with Royal Oak reader Ann Hubbarth, the first to call me suggesting that folks are mispronouncing the title of "101 Dalmatians." Should be "one hundred character actor Lance Henriksen for years, but they've made him so stoic, dour and creased with sadness in "Millennium" that it wastes this actor's broad range and, often, our time. But, hey, there's progress. Last week, he at least smiled broadly and almost laughed with his young daughter.

How long has "Saturday Night Live" been unfunny, and was it ever Knight dealing for her own label A I Generation gap narrows softly at Dylan concert Doonesbury By Garry Trudeau A QUESTION ON fimSWO )WNO F0fCA i MA'AM, We 50TVEN3VBK I 1 PIPNTACT mmiAR- 1 $NA PRBSIPFNT IN SERJ-I mT50WUR. gfuX? 1 0USL56AL TROUBLE. B- I i 1 A656FWP mi me I I FOR3! rrSVBKt 'EXCITING I gJSSttWffl BUT FIRST, I WANT IV THANK YOU ANQThia ATTORNEY 6EN5RAL FOR. APPOINTING ALLTWee SPECIAL Gladys Knight says the new year will see her taking control other music career. "We're close to signing a deal for our own record label," reports Knight, who's started Music Motivation Inc.

with her husband, motivational speaker Les Brown. "MCA will be involved, but we'll have control of our At a Bob Dylan concert the other night, the people one row in front of my cousin and me looked like your minister and your fourth-grade teacher. Graying and thin, he wore tortoise-shell bifocals and a blue Oxford-cloth shirt with a sleeveless sweater vest She'd chosen a khaki skirt and blue sweater over a white Marilyn Beck and Stacy jenel Smith creative output and our marketing, where it goes and how it goes." Knight, like many veteran artists, feels her music has been shunted aside in recent years by record labels pushing younger acts. The '97 Academy AWARDS are stacking up as the most exciting in years, Rhymes with Orange By Hilary B.Price blouse with a Peter Pan collar. Her driving gloves had fur inside.

Next to them was their very pretty daughter, around 22, in modishly baggy sweatshirt and squeaky-clean Dana Scully blunt-cut hair. I expected the girl to be bored, and the parents quietly nostalgic. It was a pretty nostalgic crowd, JACQUEIYN MITCHARD DOMINANtTHEORV: AS CELL PHON6S GET SMALLER eecoMe more inope AS CELL PHONES Set SMtteR SMALLER, THE HkELIHOop TmT THEf emp up in The wash ts greater greater coNVENiENr. THUS, more people will THUS. PEOPLE WILL HAVE To BT MO RE put iMtn.

Lers TALK C0N9P1RAOT OF THEM. THEORY. including teenagers in hip huggers and dreadlocks, regretting that they'd been born in 1980, and vegetarian with overall-clad tots in Tow. This kind of event has a high potential for embarrassment. Unless you are outside at a i.state fair and have had several beers, ancient icons like the Beach Boys are often very difficult to watch, and not because they remind you that you look that old, too.

anxious 10 see an American legend and didn't even care if she understood any of the lyrics. I'd seen Bob Dylan perform six times ur- in my life, and never understood any of the words. What could be so bad? i r- 1 i 1 il i with at least twice as many contenders for each category as there are slots for nominees. From industry buzz, the leading contenders for Oscars at this time Cruise Daniel Day-Lewis and Winona Ryder (The James Woods of Liam Neeson Samuel Jackson Time to Ralph Fiennes and Willem Dafoe English Denzel Washington Under Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton Leonardo Di Caprio Shakespeare's Romeo and Frances McDormand Nicole Kidman of a Gena Rowlands the and Gwyneth Paltrow Also expected to be noticed by Academy voters are "Shine," "Lone Away Home," country singer Dwight Yoakam for "Sling Blade," Nick Nolte for "Mother Night," Emilio Estevez for "The War at Home," and Shirley MacLaine for "Evening Star." Non Sequitur By Wiley Tarr. wnen iv an iook tne siaee.

we 2 "re I weresh ked. The bard was quite fit Though he usually looks as though he has i been dead for about 10 years, tonight you'd have sworn it was no more than eight. Distracted, we hardly noticed the family in front for a moment But they were anything but weepy or bored. All three of i them got up and began to rock, and with nice style, mouthing all the words. Deep in the soul of that fourth-grade teacher was a iintlni.al airltn nnltk nnalflll fVia orlt- r( Today's Test (Set 2 a proper beat to revive her.

Can you imagine how good a thing this I wasPThe husband would lightly brush his wife's shoulder every once in a while; they'd Real Life Adventures By Gary Wise and Lance Mdrich Bizarro ByDanPiraro bVOUWJoWWHATVoULPpE Itf ftRFECT EMP To THIS TTTf Sou left mow amp i exchange the briefest of grins. Yes, the woman did have to hold her ears briefly when the bass notes became overpowering. The father sat down for a few minutes during "Positively 4th Street" But when you watched them, you mostly noticed matters that were sweetly clear, such as how this sedate couple got the idea for their pretty-haired daughter 20-some years ago. And how, despite bouts of hnrerinm and unease, there is not much that Do you know about THIS DATE in history? (Answers follow.) In 1828, who was elected president? Benjamin Harrison William H.Harrison Andrew Jackson Andrew Johnson 2. In 1 833, the first truly coeducational school of higher learning in the United States opened its doors.

Name? Elmira Hiram Oberlin Radcliffe 3. In 1894, Robert Louis Stevenson died in Brooklyn Samarkand Samoa San Antonio 4. In 1925, the "Concerto in of what composer premiered at Carnegie Hall? Berlin Bernstein Copland Gershwin 5. In 1947, the play "A Streetear Nmed Desire" opened on Broadway. It was by Eugene O'Neill William Saroyan Thornton Wilder Tennessee Williams Answers 1.

Andrew Jackson. 2. Oberlin College in Ohio. 3. Samoa.

4. George Gershwin. Gershwin himself was at the piano. 5. Tennessee Williams.

TRIVIA Albums with biest one-week jumps to top of Billboard charts "Vitalogy" (Pearl Jam), from 173 to No. 1 in one week. "More of the 122. "The Beatles '95," from 98. "Help!" (The Beatles), from 61.

"Rubber Soul" (Beatles), from 60. Through 1996. Source: "Billboard Book of No. 1 Albums" (Craig Rosen, 1996) (OHt YCAH ULL, JM AND I'M AN ADULT NOW, AMD YOU CANT MAKE M. MAml LJ is much better than loving the same person inatruewavforalonptime.

Two rows up, neighbors of mine were with their college-age son and his much younger brother. The big kid had his arm around the little kid. The parents were laughing at the size of the noise. Odd as it seems, there was a time, not too long before my own, when Bob Dylan would hardly have been considered appropriate fare for a Wednesday night family funfest and the focal point for intergenerational harmony. And yet even he seemed mellow and 1 1 111 1MI The "terrible 2s" is a misnomer.

Actually, it's the "terrible next Today's Horoscope By Joyce Jillson performing past his prime when he doesn't r' V'i CVCI1 1ICCU U1C UlUllCjr, Ul a gu "iiu iinv.o 1119 job enough to change things around so it stays interesting a rather admirable thing, really. 1 In all respects, by the time the last notes of "Don't Think Twice" died away, there was a mood in the half-filled auditorium that made up for the relative sparseness of the crowd. And it had to do with the realization that the greatest hits passion are hardly ever gone for good, no Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Others infringe on what little free time you have. Be firm in saying no.

Open your mind to a new hobby or sport. Virgo (Aug. 23-SepL 22): Vent your anger now or it will build up. A break in routine is essential to revive a romance and creativity. Libra (Sept 23-Oct 23): Sagittarius (Nov.

22-Dec. 21): Unconventional relationships develop into the most marvelous liaisons. Do not yield to manipulating children. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan.

19): A misplaced item will be found through the help of a child. Accept added responsibilities. You have isolated yourself from those who truly care about you. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb.

18): Unsolicited advice from a neighbor about children is well meant but may be harmful. Rely on your instincts. An ex returns. Alimony payments and financial obligations could lessen soon. Pisces (Feb.

19-March 20): Progress in your career is linked to tough choices. Do not allow your lover to twist your words. An Aries desires attention. Born Dec. 3 Daryl Hannah Actress.

Born in 1960. Today's birthday: New businesses or artistic ventures are quite successful in March. Debts disappear by June through money moves you are making now. Your lucky months are January and July. Aries (March 21-April 19): A canceled date must not be interpreted as rejection.

An Aquarius figures in a business deal. Taurus (April 20-May 20): Luck comes through school-related sports. A leisure activity could yield cash. Gemini (May 21-June 21): A minivacation is essential to revive your creativity. You deserve to be paid more.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): You are right in reading between the lines in contracts or letters. Fast action saves something almost lost Renew an old friendship. 1 Sally Brompton's horoscopes 1-900-773-1112, 99 cents per minute Joyce Jillson's horoscopes per minute Jeane Dixon's horoscopes 1-900-988-7788, 99 cents per minute live astrologer 1-9OO884-1006, $2. 99 per minute Live psychic 1-900-74O4060, $2. 99 per minute For Michigan Mtrotoger and psychic, ptoax tha clauMad ada.

Callart mutt ba at laaat 18. matter how remote thev mav sometimes 'w 1 II 1 IIV 1 V. VHU VlluiiKi-ni reissued, and the only ticket you need for theshowisaneyefortheintersectionofart and heart larauehn Mitchard writes for the A passing flirtation of a cur- 1 rent love disappoints you. Set up meetings early in the game plan. Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov.

21): A Leo revives your selfesteem. Raises and promotions arrive when you perform last-minute work. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Her column ntpears Tuesdays in the Free Press. 7 1.