Detroit Free Press from Detroit, Michigan • Page 31

DETROIT FREE PRESSMONDAY, NOV. 26, 1984 1 1 Computers are programmed for boredom rnF 1 iriv Dob Call Features: 222-6828 Outta My Mind on Monday Moanin Think about this, workplace tube-watchers: Video display terminals are the new assembly lines. They're productive, boring, speedier, hypnotic and they drastically cut down office banter and verbal exchange of ideas and opinions. The current Good GuyBad Guy comparison between Michael Jackson and Prince reminds me of the very same Good GuysBad Guys comparison between the Beatles and the Rolling Stones in the '60s. I like paper grocery bags over plastic because I use 'em to line my trash containers and to drain greasy fried foods on.

You're an old-timer, friend, if you can remember the good old days when you were only broke the day before payday. Did everyone overeat on Thanksgiving? How many are still suffering from it? One reason most of us eat turkey only on Thanksgiving is that it takes us a year before we can look another one in the face or preacher's nose. Wonder why the turkey's nubby tail is called a preacher's nose or a pope's nose? JJ Sydney "arris Moore: Talented Brown: Missed by media Does it give you an uncomfortable feeling to know that there are 1,000 to 1,500 known felons who remain at large on outstanding warrants, as Mayor Young reported, because we don't have enough prison space for them? I could watch that woman in the Wang commercials juggle those orange balls all day. But I switch channels every time one of those silly new Elias Bros, spots about their "heavy" new Super Big Boy burger comes on. And does Heather Locklear really work out in dangling earrings like she wears in a current Vic Tanny spot? I'll get down on the floor and play with Legos anytime.

I've never had a bad meal at a Chuck Muer restaurant. I loved it when Alicia DiBiaggio, mother of new Michigan State president, 52-year-old John DiBiaggio, said of him, "He's a good boy. Not because he's my son, but he's a good kid." Tiger batting coach Gates Brown may be missed by the media more than he'll be missed by Tiger batters, but pitching coach Roger Craig will be missed more by Sparky Anderson than by the pitchers. It's interesting to see Michigan's Russell Kirk, father of modern conservative thought and author of the 30-year-old "The Conservative Mind," become the darling of the conservative mainstream, not just its intellectual wing. the only TV producer in town who can do a live event correctly.

Moving the start of the Lions-Raiders Dec. 10 Monday Night Football game from 9 p.m. to 8 p.m. is the first smart thing the NFL and ABC have done toward getting better TV ratings this season. We are hardly into the Christmas season and already I'm tired of two extremes of the holiday: lists and sections and catalogs of sumptuous, expensive baubles for the rich on one hand and the endless stories about the poor and hungry on the other.

Somewhere in between is Christmas. They've blitzed the market with so many TV commercials about "42nd Street" I feel like I've already seen the show three times. You, too? Trouble with too many self-made men is that by the time they get the job done their model is out of date. For a fine portrayal of the gun scene and problem, check out the rerun of "Video Detroit's" "Hand Guns Both Ends of the Barrel" at 9 p.m. Tuesday.

Harvey Ovshinsky says the station is making it available for showings to groups, clubs, after the rebroadcast, a first for Channel 56. Wonder if the rash of financial institutionbank president resignations and forced retirements across the country has the banking industry worried or perplexed? Check out how much CBS has improved two sitcoms Elliott Gould's "ER" and Scott Baio's "Charles in Charge" on Wednesdays from 8 to 9. 1 love the comeback of sitcoms. Everybody has a different exact location and definition of Downtown Detroit. If I ever start writing movies, I'd write one about brothers that would star Robert Duvall and John Lithgow as rival siblings.

If you ask me, the most wasted talent on Detroit television is Channel 4's Jennifer Moore who may be WDIV-TV's best all-around reporteranchor. That's because it's kind of turned up sort of like a preacher with his nose in the air. Michigan Thanksgiving Parade blew it putting Santa Claus and his float in the middle of the parade and not at the traditional end. Who thought that up? And Channel 7 certainly didn win any awards with its television coverage of the parade. WXYZ-TV still can't get a parade right.

Maybe Channel 4's Chuck Wasiluk is Docnesbury by Garry Trudeau Our war on dope is a fight that can't possibly be won If I were asked what I thought was the greatest government scam perpetrated upon the American public, I would unhesitatingly name our so-called war on dope. It is a fraud on at least three counts: it cannot succeed, it will continue to suck billions out of the national Treasury, and it will swell the ranks of bureaucratic enforcers and line the pockets of corrupt cops and politicians. If enough people want to drink, as we learned to our vast cost, no law in the world can successfully diminish this pursuit. Likewise, if enough people want to ingest narcotics, the free market economy will furnish the supply to meet the demand. THE CRAVING for drugs is a social, more than medical or moral, malaise.

It is a symptom of boredom, anxiety, insecurity and the desperate need to escape reality combined with enough affluence to support and spread the habit. -ZZ It is also the reflection of a society in which the prime tastemakers are largely entertainers and sports who serve as virtually the only models for the young, the impressionable and the upwardly mobile. International dope-running is a big business. It does not have the tacit sanction of society that bootlegging had, but on the other hand, it thrives with the covert assent of a number of foreign governments. Dope is not only big business, it is good business.

The markup is eye-bulging, the risks for the ringleaders are minimal, and the returns for the smaller fish are lucrative enough to defy the threat of apprehension and conviction. We can mandate seat belts for auto safety, and smoke alarms for fire safety, because here we are fighting only indifference or apathy. But drug addiction is a fierce appetite, more important than food or even sex when it takes hold, and laws are futile against something that people are willing to kill for and die for. If the world's educational system is not rational enough, or persuasive enough, to devise a method for preventing our blowing ourselves up, how can we possibly stop ourselves from sniffing, snorting and shooting ourselves into mass stupor? LISTEN TO IMS, YOU RECEIVED INQYOURSafWITH HAVE DONE IT! I'LL IPUNNO. BET YOU LU0ULP HAVE I STILL CANt HELP FEELING THAT ALL WENEEPEP THIS TALL WAS ONE mm? WTWOLUtVEDRAMATIZEP i THE CASE A6AINSTREA6AN.

I RICK, IN THB LAST EIGHT YEARS, 1 HANPLEP SYMBOLS KRCARJER, BROWN ANPMONPAIE. I'M NOT EXACTLY ON A WINNIN6 STREAK. I'VE60T TO FI6URB OUT WHERE WE WENT IAIRDN6! I V-v Parents know their girl is growing up A NUCLEAR. SWEPT BOTH HOUSES! ITS OVER, MAN. OFmwmvim.

x. SOMETHING. MP 674 OF A panel of kids gives advice. V' THE YUPPIE" my Dear Kids: I am 1 1 years old and I'm h. just starting to wear makeup.

I like this boy my class, but I don know if he likes me. How can I find out? Also, how can I tell my parents I like this boy? They (my parents) still think I hate boys. Confused Dear Confused: Your parents were. young once. If they accept the fact that you are wearing makeup, they probably realize you are growing up.

You seem very close to your parents. It The half -life of a box of cereal is forever seems you seek their approval, so we think you should talk to them. Explain that having a boyfriend today Every time I hear talk about nations getting together and working as one toward world peace, I look at the shelves of cereal in our house and get depressed. just means having a pizza together, going to the roller rink, or having lunch together at school. You seem like a shy, sensitive girl.

now, that Captain Crunch was canceled, that the Flintstones are passe and that Count Chocula doesn't scare anyone anymore. They will only consider Strawberry Shortcake, Gremlins, E.T., C3POs and Smurfberry Crunch. Hope has always sprung eternal that one of these days families would sit down with one another and decide on one cereal, until last when I opened my mother's cupboard door and saw six kinds df bran. She shrugged. "It beats arguing with your father in the aisles." Is there no place in this world for detente? Talk to this boy.

Talk to him about yrT'i 4n Dl-Sonya Friedman How can we hope to find common ground for universal love when we can't even agree on one cereal that fits all? We have a cereal for every season, every mood, every mouth size, every cartoon character and every malady. We have cereal that builds a fire in your tummy on a cold morning, one that has delayed timers to guard against morning hunger, a cereal that sounds like a cannon going off in your bowl, a cereal that wakes you in the morning and one that makes you jump higher than a basketball hoop. We have cereals that make you regular, fulfill all your nutritional needs and can be used for Erma Bombeck Billy Graham Pornography is a huge problem something specific, like sports or a recent concert. If he responds, you'll know he wants to continue the conversation. Dear Kids: I like a boy and I just found out he likes me.

The problem is that he is moving soon. I realize that I can't stop him from going, but I wish I could. This is the first time everything was going right for me. Help Dear Help: This is a hard problem. He is moving, but you never say how far.

If he is not moving out of state, get his address and phone number and try to keep in touch.1 Ask your parents to take you to see his family once they are settled. If they are moving very far, there isn't much you can do. Take his address and write him. Try to keep busy so you won't think about him too much. We are sure you will meet someone else soon.

Remember the move is probably harder on him he's leaving all his friends behind. We think you should get some friends together and give him a party. cocktail snacks, cookies, or to add zest to your meat loaf. THE FIRST BOX of cereal that my child clutched to her chest and refused to give up had two cartoon characters called Beany and Cecil; it took her two hours to pick it out. It has taken her 30 years to eat it, and the box is still on the shelf.

I don't know what there is about a box of cereal, but no one can bring themselves to throw one away. Throughout the years, we have tried everything to get a handle on the problem. We tried a cereal embargo once for 30 days: No cereal was to be brought into the house until some of it was eaten. During that period, there was an outbreak of cereal incest and we ended up with eight boxes more than when we started. THE PROBLEM with cereal is that you can't fool kids about what is current and what isn't.

They know that Donald Duck is 50 years old My husband and I were shocked when after dinner at someone's house, our hosts showed a videotape that was explicit pornography. Why isn't something being done to outlaw such things? A I trust that you let your hosts know how you felt. Pornography is a massive problem today and one reason is that there are far too many people who are willing to spend money on it. Ask your pastor if he knows of a concerned citizens group that is working on this problem. Find out what laws or ordinances your community has about pornography and how strictly they are enforced.

Let your politicians know of your concern. Write letters to your newspaper if it advertises places that sell or rent such films. Pornography is degrading and can have a harmful moral and spiritual effect on countless lives. Bill Holbrook On the Fastrack by Pot-Shots by Ashleigh Brilliant Is it his lonely-hearts ad? Ask him or investigate Dear Dr. Friedman: I am divorced and living with my ex-husband.

While cleaning up in our room, I found a companion ad that he had apparently written. Do you think that he's looking for someone else and is just keeping me around for convenience? Chris, Anchorville Dear Chris: It's difficult to understand why people would divorce and then live together unless it brought forth a special kind of mutual respect and consideration that was lost within the "certificate of taking for granted" that is often found in marriage. However, having gotten a divorce, finding out that you missed each other, and now seeing whether or not you could put it together again takes a mutual commitment. Rather than speculate as to why your ex wrote a companion ad, it would seem that your best bet would be to ask him. Or you could respond to the companion ad with another name and box number.

That should immediately tell you what his intentions are. Dear Dr. Friedman: I have a 19-year-old granddaughter who borrowed $300 from me to be paid back when her IRS refund came. Her taxes were refunded, my loan was not. What should I do? Grandma, Novi Dear Grandma: It's an old truism that when you loan money without seeing it as a business transaction, you may very well have given someone a gift.

My advice is not to beat around the bush but rather to call your granddaughter and ask her how she intended to repay the loan, offering her one of several payment plans while telling her that you know she has been reimbursed by the IRS. If there continues to be a hesitation of repayment on her part, my suggestion to you is that over the next several years you deduct what you might have given her as both birthday or Christmas presents from the total amount. Send her a note saying, "since I was going to give you $25 on you birthday, I'm taking it out of the unpaid funds due me, therefore your balance is only such and such amount." By doing so, you clear the debt and clear the air at the same time. Hear Sonya Friedman 2-4 p.m. weekdays on WXYT-AM (1270).

cuLTiVAT THESE Wi MAMAG-ehAENT H-ANT5; I NUKTuRE THE I ACTUALUV, jj Trim MO GIVE TH6M A ooe THl One THB.OU6-H A CHANCE To CrRoo)! ftffCCT AR6 It ALS. DON'T DO ANYTHING FOOUSHf PZ? 1 TRBAT TH6WV JUT GAKvpN' K'NDA Yp-luW. OK, IF FOOLISH, AT LEAST NOT WITHOUT ME. if) 1984 sMt.H SfiUiint Boi 5 StnU Btroi'l 1 1 i Sally Field has lost her heart to Texas I 1 m-m 1 4 Aj Liz JS2a Smith L.M. Boyd Them bones Benjamin: Hot director Field: Texas fan Sally Field was mighty convincing as the young widow in Bob Benton's movie, "Places in the Heart," as we will all see when the.

Oscar nominees are announced next spring. I guess the long location shooting in Waxahachie enamored Sally of the Lone Star State. She will play a Texas woman again in the movie she is co-producing "Murphy's Romance." This begins filming in February, with the marvelous James Garner as co-star and Marty Ritt directing. METEOR RITES! The funny writer Kenny Solms is busy working up a TV special, "Joan Rivers Salutes Heidi Abromowitz, Tramp of the Century." This will be seen at some future date on the Showtime channel, with Kenny also producing. Heidi herself will probably be a "no show!" STAR TREK! In January, the hit Broadway farce, "Noises Off," will have a new look when the original company moves to California.

Dorothy Loudon, Victor Garber, Brian Murray, Paxton Whitehead and Linda Thorson open at Bobby Fryer's Ahmanson Tkoon. a Tha -our 9ct nn RrnfldwaV Mrs. William Friedkin, the sexy Lesley-Anne Down. (If things continue to look good, the series could be extended to 20 hours of war between the states!) Elizabeth Montgomery, a TV veteran, is the one who will co-star with Kirk Douglas in the CBS movie "Amos," to be directed by England's Michael Tuchner. STAR WARS! Jackie Onassis, America's biggest celebrity name, has been trying to get Princess Diana, England's biggest celebrity name, to say "yes" to a ghosted autobiography.

But the palace isn't saying, "Jackie The palace is saying, "Jackie No!" STAR THUMP! Robert Mitchum fell off the wagon with a bang in London, where he has been working on a new movie with former co-star Deborah Kerr, "Reunion at Fairborough." Mitchum is a tough guy; he will just try, try again, being a graduate of the Betty Ford Clinic. LITTLE THINGS: "Leader of the Pack," the wonderful rock show that has yet to make it uptown to Broadway, has already been picked up for a movie by Universal Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas will do their sequel to "Romancing the Stone" in the spring of 1985. while the originals perform at night. Hecht is also being seen in the CBS series hit "Kate Allie," playing Jane Curtin's ex-husband. He chortles: "There aren't too many acting jobs in this old town and I've got two of them!" TWINKLES! Actor Dick Benjamin has become Hollywood's hot director ever since he did "My Favorite Year" and "Racing with the Moon." Dick has Burt Reynolds and Clint Eastwood in the can with the coming hot contender, "City Heat." Benjamin's next will be to direct the gifted Tom Hanks, formerly of TV's "Bosom Buddies," in "Money Pit" for Universal.

STAR BOSS! The new head of Paramount Ned Tanen won't let a good idea go down the drain. He originally bought the play "Children of a Lesser God" when he was 'at Universal. Now, he has taken the project from Universal and will make it one Good morning, how re your 22 head bones today? That's how many you've got, 14 facial and eight cranial. The word diaper comes by way of a bachelor from the Greek diasporos meaning pure white. The blood of lobsters is blue.

You said either bamboo or kelp was the fastest growing vegetation. What's the fastest growing animal? A The whale. It goes from a tiny egg to a 15-ton 23-foot-long baby in 1 1 months. Then to a 65-ton 65-foot-long yearling. The whale puts on 2.3 tons a month.

Do people who lose fingers ever grow them back? A Children under age 10 have done so. Surgeons at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York have documented one case in which a youngster grew back a thumb and another in which a child grew back a fingertip. People in Denver have more blood than people in San Francisco. It's a scientific fact that those who live at high altitudes circulate more blood to compensate for less rtcygen in the air.

of his first at Paramount. The story is about a deaf girl and her teacher; it starred John Rubenstein on Broadway. NEBULAE! The pregnant Amy Irving has a project she loves. She'll play the wife of Orson Welles in the movie of "The Cradle Will Rock." (Back in the 30s, Mrs. Welles was Virginia Nicholson.) Actor Rupert Everett is to portray the young Orson Roland Joffe is on a roll since the great reviews for "The Killing Field," so he will next direct "The Mission," a story of South America in the 1800s.

of the first actors set for ABC's 10-hour miniseries, "The North and the South," is ucaici ill Lt.ri. i lie in. wi jvill begin the show' second year headed by V. i Tf TViSr. IC varoie 5neuey ana ram netui.

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