GRASSROOTS GLEANINGS by BUI Stokes For the man who has everything, The Garner Leader and Signal of Garner, Iowa, suggests a calendar to remind him when all the payments come due. "It takes the average housewife about four checkbooks to fill one stamp book," reports The Britton (S.D.) Journal. The Johnson County News of Greenwood, Ind. carried some comfort for those of us who walk into clotheslines. It is perfectly normal, said the News, because the horizontal positioning of the eyes makes it difficult to resolve thin horizontal objects. Is everyone comforted? The Carlisle (Iowa) Citizen claims to know a girl who is an archaeologist because she will do anything to dig up a man. The Daily Reporter of Spencer, Iowa, on kicking cigarets, quotes a Public Health Service official as saying, "When we speak of smoking cessation, we do not speak of a single, isolated change in a person's life, but of a rather radical and extensive disruption of a complicated, interwoven pattern of habits, of needs gratified, of pleasures derived, and of tensions released." Has somebody got a match? Did you ever wonder how the ants never fail to miss a picnic? The answer was recorded by the Winner (S.D.) Advocate. The antennea, or feelers of ants are remarkably rich in organs of smell and touch. A single antenna contains 211 olfactory cones and 1,730 touch bristles," says the Advocate. Lots of luck next summer with those cones and bristles. The practice of kneading dough with the feet originated in Egypt, reports the Chronicle-Herald of Macon, Mo. And all the time we thought it was Grandma who didn't want to put down her knitting. An old timer is one who remembers when folks rested on Sunday instead of Monday, says the Reporter and Farmer of Webster, S.D. The Watertown (Wis.) Daily Times reports that a statistician says in one lifetime you eat 30,000 eggs, 6,000 loaves of bread, 9,000 pounds of potatoes, 8,000 pounds of beef, 12 sheep, 15 pigs, five calves, and 7,000 pounds of fish. "So why worry about an extra piece of pie?" asks the Times. The Davison (Mich.) Index observes that there would be fewer pedestrian patients if there were more patient pedestrians. "A newspaper is an object used by man, so that he can't see now many ladies are standing in the aisles of the bus," says the Tell City (Ind.) News. "Apples are like people," claims The Clermont Sun of Batavia, Ohio, "They come in different sizes, shapes and colors." And many of my friends have hinted that I am a "windfall. The students at die high school were "amazed," by an appearing magician who ate razor blades, reports the Milan (Mo.) Standard. Well they might be amazed The guy probably didn't even have whiskers in his throat. The Tazewell County News of Morton, BL, informs us that The Columbia Icefield, north of Jasper, Canada, has the greatest accumulation of ice to be found in the world outside of the Arctic Zones." My wife said this was not true. She said it was our ancient refrigerator when we came back .from last summer's vacation. Do you' know any fat cats? The reason they are fat is revealed by the Onaway (Mich.) News in an item that says Americans have the best fed garbage cans in the world, discarding about 200 calories of edible food per day for each member of the family. The F.F.A. chapter of Fullerton, Neb., conducted a slave for a day sale in which a members services could be purchased for a day for ten dollars, reported the Nance County Journal. There are likely some current farmers who might work for such a fee. The trouble with putting your two cents worth in these days, is that it costs five cents to mail it, complains The Stark County News, Toulon, HI. Illinois drivers must be comforted by the information published in the Belvidere (HI.) Daily Republican that the Illinois tollway will be paid for by 1983. Snakes are deaf, says The Dickinson (N.D.) Press, but they can receive vibrations from the ground. This sounds like a great way to appreciate some of the rock-and-roll groups. "Spring brings us birds, grass, spring fever, blossoms—and mud on the rug," says the Pinestane (Minn.) County Star. President Johnson likes to use the telephones, reports The Daily Reporter of Spencer, Iowa. This js the kind of news that makes a lot of us nervpus. How can you plan a weekend when any minute the phone might ring and LBJ will say, "Why don't you drop down to the ranch for a barbecue^* -fti tot to ttHPake the Mokuahi to the Makahiki" may sound like a song from Tin Pan ••• Alley, but it's a fitting 'theme for Farm and Home Cruise Tour members bound for Hawaii this fall. It's the Hawaiian way of saying, "take the ship to the harvest festival." And the ship is the SS LURLINE with its Aloha-island atmosphere all the way. This year's Makahiki Festival will be held in early November. The LURLINE will wrap up the highlights of the celebrations — as well as high points in Honolulu and the Neighbor Islds — by sailing from Los Angeles October 29, calling at Oahu, when swinging around to Kauai, Maui and Hawaii. Schedule for this special Cruise Tour is: October 26 — leave midwestern points via the streamliner Super Chief, arrive Los Angeles October 28. Sail Los Angeles October 29. Arrive Honolulu November 3, sail Honolulu November 4. At Nawiliwili, Kauai November 5; at Lahaina, Maui November 6; at Hilo, Hawaii November 7. Arrive San Francisco November 12, arrive mid- western points November 15. On this sailing, the Makahiki mood, naturally, will permeate the ship and the ports of call. Hawaiian residents are reviving the ancient "welcome to winter" celebrations by recreating the days of old Hawaii, giving thanks to the god Lono for the harvests of the land and sea, and staging different events replete with the atmosphere of yesteryears. Top activities — like Lahaina's festive Whaling Spree - will be timed to coincide with the LURLINE'S arrival at each port. And what will those port calls be like? Like arriving at each of them as early explorers did — watching the misty isles grow from hazy cloud-images to breathtaking mountain peaks jutting sharply from the sea. The voyage on the famed LURLINE will be an experience in itself. The beauty, charm and simplicity of Hawaii keynote the spacious staterooms and public rooms aboard the liner. Shipboard night life revolves around a different party theme every evening Want to learn more about the details? Write for a free illustrated folder to Farm or Home Tours, 20 North Carroll Street, Madison, Wisconsin.
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