Detroit Free Press from Detroit, Michigan • Page 15

1 mr Tr 1 If Feature Page Cmeks Up the Over-30 Grot THURSDAY, APRIL 3, 1969 15-A in nun i. .1. iniii.i I I ii.mil, Thoughts at Large: Fraud in 'Newness' Names of the Game Ted Williams has given all baseball in-fielders a shot in the arm. The new Washington Senator manager has surrounded himself with former infielders as coaches because, he says, "90 percent of the crisis situations during a game involve infield play" Who's the greatest public speaker in the world today? The honor is usually given to Israel's spell-binding Abba Eban, with Evangelist Billy Graham rated a close second The Chicago Hilton reports it is still trying to collect a $35,000 bill run up by Sen. Eugene McCarthy and company during last summer's Demo convention.

Other Chicago hotels report they are settling for 25 cents on the dollar from other candidates who haven't paid up either Don't feel too sorry about Cassius Clay and all those debts he says he has. He's been averaging $2,000 a week for speaking and personal appearance engagements. Notecracker Sweet This note appeared on a downtown office bulletin board: "Would you like to find out what it's like to be a member of a minority Try putting in an honest day's work occasionally" Singer Bobby Laurel overheard a modern mother ing her daughter: "You should be ashamed yourself. All your girl friends are already divorced and you aren't even married yet!" In case you were wondering, the that always burns out in the Sinclair signs is related to the that never works in the Shell signs One of the key property settlement hang-ups in a recent local divorce proceedings was over who was going to get almost 400,000 savings stamps all pasted in the books to boot. "SONNY It's a sure-fire way of breaking up someone over 30.

Just mention Sonny Tufts in an amazed sort of way and you'll have 'em rolling on the floor. It'll even bring tears to the eyes of some folks. People under 30 have no idea why this happens. And even many of those over 30 aren't exactly sure. Tufts was a big blond actor, a handsome devil, who always just lost the girl to the main character usually Donald O'Connor in movies of the late 1930', 1940's and early 1950's.

Tufts was no great shakes as an actor but he wasn't bad enough to warrant all the incredulous now attached to his name. How did the "Sonny humor come about? Well, in the days of Big Radio before there even was television, actor Joseph Cotten was appearing on the Lux Radio Theater radio show. At the end of the program, the announcer slipped Cotten a piece of paper containing the name of the next week's headliner, and Cotten read it cold. Like so: "This is-Joseph Cotten saying goodnight and inviting you to tune in next week, when the Lux Radio Theater will proudly present that beloved and distinguished American actor, Sonny Cotten's rising inflection of disbelief was the talk of the country, and poor ol' Sonny TUFTS? has had to live with it ever since. Tufts' No.

1 Detroit fan WXYZ sports-caster Dave Diles has launched a Sonny Tufts Film Festival campaign which has now progressed out of the joke stage and into the serious planning stages. Tufts, himself, has heard of the campaign. He's now a wealthy California landowner who doesn't need the money but would like to get some character roles just to prove there's more to Sonny Tufts than Sonny Joseph Black Market Toys The toy industry is hoping there really is a Black Market. Mattel is bringing out an authentic "Julia" doll for next Christmas and another doll-maker is readying a Bill Cosby doll. One West Coast games company is hoping a African game called Kalah a board game played with pebbles will become the national pastime for black people.

Image-Changing Playboy magazine's Hugh Hefner and his brain trust are worried about the empire's image. Former underground publications are surfacing with explicit pornography and smut that make "Playboy" look like "Good Housekeeping." Some of the ladies' slick magazines like Cosmopolitan" carry ads today that are as racy as the Playmate of the Month centerfold. Some of the shows on Broadway and the rash of films, plus a new openness about sex in our society, make the Playboy philosophy appear tame. Hefner may. have started it, but the sexual revolution has literally out-stripped the Bunny boss.

ence, and the call for freedom sounds dissonant in the Age of Merger. "Charisma" has probably become the most debased word of the last couple of years; originally a theological term (it isn't even listed in the unabridged Webster-Merriem 2nd Edition, though "charismatic" is), it is now made to apply to movie stars, second-rate politicians and pop singers. THE TRUTH OF THE matter in the academic controversy between the "teaching machine" and the "live professor" is that while no teaching machine can stimulate and motivate students one-hundreth as effectively as a good live professor, at the same time a teaching machine is probably far more effective than the mediocre of dull professors, who make up about 90 percent of academia. (It stands, in fact, in about the same relationship as a computer to chess the computer can easily beat 99 out of 100 ordinary players, but would stand no chance against a true chess expert.) WE ARE FAST changing from a society to a knowledge-oriented society, but only the specialists in social systems seem to be away of it; and the real gap, which threatens unemployment, between our declining need for productive workers and our increasing demand for those scarce employes who can coordinate and integrate tasks. I have never understood why a heart of gold" should mean anything but a heart that is hard, cold, dead, and totally unresponsive.

THE MOST ILLOGICAL implication in modern thinking is the proposition: "If it's new, then it must be better" for while many products are introduced or changed as an improvement, an equal number are introduced or changed for the sake of "newness" itself as a selling-point. THE GREAT MAJORITY of mankind has always desired peace, Just as we have always desired health; but we have not understood the preconditions of peace any more than we have understood the preconditions of health; now the rise of preventive medicine has drastically cut the mortality rate in illness, but there has been no similar rise in preventive peacemanship to reduce the mortality rate in war, which is our most press ing need. My children were amused to learn in school that the ancient Egyptians wrapped the utensils along with the corpses, for possible use in the afterworld; but is this any more absurd than our custom of burying the outworn husk of the body itself, and reverently "honoring" the departed person by feeding him to the worms? INDUSTRY KEEPS calling for more "freedom," but the irony of technological change in the last two decades is that the major industries in our economy become more and more interlocked in increasing interdepend BY EARL WILSON 1 Gas Suit Parallels Notorious Incidents RuthBuzzi Expert on Cemeteries How ABM Bloc Got Scientists' Backing rmli NEW YORK "Where are you from?" we asked Ruth Buzzi, the former B'way actress who plays "glum Gladys" Ormphby in "Laugh-In." "Wicketytwock, Connecticut," she said, explaining it's spelled Wequetequock but pronounced to rhyme with tickety-tock. "I was a cheerleader there and it was sort of hard to say 'Rah, Rah, Rah, Wicketytwock is near Pequonoc and Boom Bridge Rd." "That's exactly the information we need," we said. "Now about your familiarity with cemeteries?" "My father sold gravestones and I guess I know more about cemeteries than any girl living.

My father often didn't want to go alone to cemeteries and I'd go along and wander around. When I was very little I would take the flowers off fresh graves and take them home to my mother. She'd say "Isn't that WASHINGTON The Justice Department's withdrawal of the El Paso Natural Gas antitrust appeal on Jan. 26, six days after two of El Paso's lawyers, Richard Nixon and John Mitchell, assumed high position in the United States government, bears certain similarities to two famous cases in the Eisenhower administration. They were 1.

Dixon-Yates, which involved a conflict of interest on the part of a lawyer working inside the government for the private hydroelectric power combine. The object was to set up a private competitor for the Tennessee Valley Authority. 2. The nickel contract negotiated by the M.A. Hanna four days before the head of the Hanna George M.

Humphrey, became Eisenhower's Secretary of the Treasury. In the latter case, Jess Larson, an outgoing official of the Truman administration, signed a contract on Jan. 16, with Gilbert Humphrey, son of the new Secretary of the Treasury, whereby the Hanna Company received a contract giving it an 85 per cent tax write-off on $22 million and a guaranteed profit of around $19 million. IX THE RECEXT EL PASO CASE, Erwin Griswold, Johnson-appointed Solicitor General, dismissed, on Jan. 17, a government appeal In an eleven-year-old antitrust suit which had been before the Supreme Court three times.

During six of these years the firm of Nixon, Mudge, Rose, Guthrie, Alexander and Mitchell had been attorneys for El Paso, and In that period collected $771,129.93 In fees. John Alexander, a partner in the firm, had testified as a witness at the last court hearing in Denver. John Mitchell, another partner, Is now Attorney General. Richard Nixon, senior partner, is now President. Griswold now says that on Jan.

17 the decision "not to docket the appeal was made by me because the regulations of the Department of Justice allocate to the Solicitor General the function of deciding whether appeals shall be taken or perfected." There is some circumstantial evidence contradicting this namely, the fact that the notification letters to attorneys were not sent until Jan. 23, the actual dismissal was not made until Jan. 26, and Prof. John Flynn of the University of Utah has stated that he conferred with Griswold on Jan. 21, when the case was very much alive.

All this was after Jan. 20, when Nixon became President. Leaving these aside, however, Griswold knew that the case was so important that it should not be dismissed without consultation with the new man who was running the Justice Department, John Mitchell. And Mitchell must have known, as a partner of the firm representing El Paso, that the case was one of the most important in recent antitrust history. In fact, Mitchell's new antitrust chief, Assistant Attorney General Richard McClaren, has now cited the El Paso case as the precedent for his antitrust suits against conglomerates.

One important difference between the El Paso case and Dixon-Yates is that no giants are left in the Senate, such as the late Estes Kefauver of Tennessee, Lister Hill of Alabama, or Wayne Morse of Oregon, to investigate the El Paso dismissal. After months of probing, they finally ripped the Dixon-Yates conflict of Interest apart. Another difference is that President Eisenhower had the good sense to cancel the Dixon-Yates contract after the facts became known. Mr. Nixon could do the dame regarding the dropping of the El Paso appeal.

"It will only take a minute, sir." "Please, this Is not the place to go into ultrahigh frequencies in radar elmulatlon," Bezilsky said, trying to move on. "Professor, are you for it or against it?" "Will you let me catch my plane, dummkopf?" Bezilsky pushed Carnaby aside and rushed off with his bag. Carnaby said, "Well, he's for it." "How did you figure that?" I asked him. "Our orders are that if a scientist doesn't come out specifically and say he's against the AB.M, then he must be for it." Carnaby wrote something in his notebook. "I have four scientists for the ABM and one against." "That's marvelous," I said in admiration.

"All you have to do is wait by the New York to Boston shuttle and you catch the whole MIT, Harvard and Tufts scientific establishment." "Right. It's foolproof because we could never get to talk to this many scientists in Washington. Oh, my goodness, look who's over there it's Dr. Heinrich Spitzelbaron, who discovered manifold pressure under glass. Dr.

Spitzelbaron Dr. Spitzelbaron, would you care to participate in an instant seminar we're holding here on the ABM system?" "NO, BUT I'D LIKE TO BUY some flight insurance. I'm scared to death of flying." "But what about the threat of the Soviet Multiple Weapon Launchers and their first-strike superiority?" "If I could just get to Cleveland safely, I'd be grateful." "Doctor, could I ask you 'about the Chinese first generation of nuclear weapons?" "I usually get drunk when I fly," Dr. Spitzelbaron said. "I know it's stupid, tout I'm afraid of heights." After he bought his insurance and left, asked Carnaby, "Is he pro or con?" "If I had to testify In front of a Senate, committee, I'd say he was pro but with; a few reservations." WASHINGTON The seismograph in Washington, D.C., showed a slight quake in the Credibility Gap last week when the Undersecretary of Defense, David Packard testified in front of the Senate Foreign Relations subcommittee on disarmament on the ABM.

Asked to name a science adviser not connected with the Pentagon who had participated in a review of the missile system, Packard came up with Dr. Wolfgang K. H. Panofsky, a noted physicist from Stanford. Unfortunately for Packard, Dr.

Panofsky denied he had participated dn any review of the Safeguard system and said he was opposed to it. He also said that his only encounter with Packard was an accidental meeting at the airport sin San Francisco where the men talked informally about different defense systems while waiting for their planes. I WAS VERY CURIOUS about the Pentagon's new method of talking to scientists, and I was fortunate to run into a friend of mine who happens to be an assistant secretary of defense. He was standing next to the insurance counter at New York's La Guardia field. "Where are you gojng?" I asked him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said. "I'm stationed here working on a research project." "What do you mean?" "We're interviewing scientists at airports on the ABM." "Why at the airports?" I asked. "None of them wants to come to Washington, so we have to catch them on the run. Look, there's Prof. Uezilsky of Harvard University." He stopped the professor.

"Dr. Bezilsky," he said, "my name's Caf-naby of the Defense Department, and I was wondering if you could give me your opinion of the ultrahigh frequencies in radar simulation vis-a-vis the ABM." PROF. BEZILSKY LOOKED annoyed. "I have to catch my plane." "Was this knowledge of cemeteries often useful to you?" "Once when I was making a film in Hollywood, they had a cemetery scene. We rigged up one in the country and shot on Sundays.

I had to fall in a grave and get buried. The third week, the police arrived. They thought we were grave robbers." "You were a charwoman while going to Pasadena Playhouse?" "I found out some friends paid women $15 an hour to A I Ruth Buzzi clean apartments. 1 said I'd clean for $10 an hour. I used to walk down Sunset with my own spaghetti mop over my shoulder going to my I made $120 a week as a charwoman.

And of all the people I worked for, I turned out to be the star tooting my own horn!" "Was there anything amusing ever happened in those Connecticut cemeteries?" we asked. "Well, once I going home and I didn't tell them I was coming. I told my gir friend Betty Sidebottom "Betty uh uh?" "Betty Sidebottom!" she elared. "She met nnrt y4 -A changed into a costume like I wore as a charwoman, with a low-hanging straw hat and heavy stockings. I rang my father's office bell.

He yelled out he was busy and go on and look around at the gravestone samples. "My father finally came out, didn't recognize me, and for 10 minutes tries to sell me a tombstone. I finally said, 'Daddy, it's me!" THE MIDNIGHT EARL Producer Ray Stark jokingly discussed the Oscar awards: "I don't mind if 'Funny Girl' doesn't win. It won't bother me a bit. I'll just go out and kill myself, that's Lionel Hampton'll entertain at GI bases during his Far East tour Comie Jackie Clark wrote a movie script so he'd have a role to play.

Cary Grant joined Lucille Ball and Dean Martin as members of a plush resort club being built in the Bahamas Prudish Husband Frets About Wife Honesty in TV Ads Could Spoil Fun As for you or a nurse doing essentially medical diagnostic work, I think you can understand that such delegation of responsibility Is not feasible. If you or any member of your family would like the booklet, "22 Ways to Prevent and Treat Coronary Disease," send 25 cents in coin and a STAMPED, SELF-ADDRESSED ENVEL Barbra Streisand's been asked to play Juliet at the Shakespeare Festival in Ontario Elvis Presley doesn't sing in his film "Charro," but he recorded the title tune for RCA-Victor Don De Leo, who starred in "Don't Drink the Water" in Chicago, was offered a featured role in the movie version WISH I'D SAID THAT: The real phony is the guy who listens to the radio' while eating a TV dinner. OPE to Dr. Steincrohn, Box 2022, Detroit 48231. Your Social Security Accident Victims Can Get Aid BY PETER J.

STEINCROHN, M.D. NOT? TOO LONG AGO I wrote about complications which came' about when excessively prudish patients put off necessary examinations. Postponement of essential breast and vaginal examinations, for example, sometimes resulted in undetected serious illness. It seems that some husbands can also be prudish about their wives' examinations In the doctor's office Dear Dr. Stelncrolin: One of your recent columns dealt with breast examinations and the need for Pap tests.

I am an unbelievably jealous man, I become sick at the thought of another man touching my wife. Of course, I know that thi3 is being silly. My question is, why must it be a male doctor who performs these tests? Why can't the husband be given the necessary so that he might do these things for his wife? And if not the huaband, why not the iiur.se who has some knowledge of medicine? (The mere writing of this letter makes me ill.) Mr. COMMENT: I can understand how you feel. Besides, prudishness knows "no boundaries between male and female.

SOMETHING TERRIBLE is happening, to TV commercials. Now, says the government, they have to be HONEST. Just when we are getting to the point where the freaky, far-out commercials were the best thing on the boob tube, the Federal Trade Commission steps in with another directive against "false, misleading and deceptive" advertising. Thv y've been touchy about this ever since they found out that super-duper shaving cream wasn't really shaving sandpaper the way it looked. The FTC went all the way to the Supreme Court to win that one.

Now they've nipped a soup company for slipping a few clear glass marbles into commercials extolling the virtues of a steaming bowl of vegetable-beef or chicken-and-noodle. THE FTC SAID it made it look like the soup had more solid ingredients than it really did have. The soup company explained it only plopped in the "crystal croutons," as one wag called them, to keep the solid ingredients near the surface while the cameras were rolling. They promised never to do it again. If they should ask me (which I admit is unlikely), I'd much rather they gave the boot to that limpid-eyed blond who keeps urging the boys to "take dt all off." Or fire that nosy Mrs.

What's-her4ace who keeps wandering Into young brides' kitchens. You could like the view that a lot of the commercials are downright fun. But, and maybe there's sometliing serious-here, if the FTC wanted to perform a l-fcal' public service, it would take another look-at what all those commercials are doing to' our self-confidence. Taking a dead bead on teen-agers, who are! too worried about themselves anyway, the; makers of hair spray, hair goo, soap, sham-i poo, toothpaste, mouthwash, constantly remind them of what messes they are. Their hair has no "body," their mouths need more than a smile to be and unless they give up that old-fashioned' soap nobody will get within 40 miles of them.

PICTURE IT: Would you raise your hand uv class and risk offending? Never mind the' grades; who stole the spray? Cute girls are missing out on dates because thoy neglect to climb aboard that roller! coaster and splash their hair with that special glop- Housewives fret because doves don't fly In' their windows or fists fly out of their washing" machines. Husbands worry because that man in white on horseback has neglected them lately. Everybody worries about the bread in their sandwiches, fearful it may be building the body only 11 ways. By BENJAMIN D. WAECHTER Of It Social Security Administration I have two sons who were severly Injured In an accident.

One boy Is 29 and the other Is 82. Both had had some work miriVr Social Security. Would they qualify for disability benefits? A Have the young men visit or phone their Social Security office. Disability provisions have been improved with respect to the younger worker. Younger peopled disabled between their 24th and 31st blrthdpy need work credits for only la the time between age 21 and the time they become disabled.

For anyone disabled before age 24, the Social Security work credit requirement Is even less. tj My hoii and I are re-reiving Social Security survivors benefits. My son in a Keillor In high school and would like to take a part-time job to add toward his college savings. Would this affect Ills Social Security? A Part-time employment will not affect his Social Security checks providing he does not earn more than $1,680 during the calendar year. If he does earn more than the allowable amount, he may still receive some checks depending on the final total amount he earns for the year.

Address questions to Your Social Security, Box 8023, De. troit 48231. Answers will appear here or be mailed..