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Editorial-Opinion Page T/ie Public Inferss! Is The First Concern 0} This Newspaper 4 Â· MONDAY, JULY 22, 1974 Soca/'s Gumshoe Uncovers Bogus Memo What Others Say... FEWER INDIANS Proliferation of the federal bureaucracy is hardly news anymore. It is pretty difficult to justify Hie-tripling of government civilian payrolls (federal, slate and local) during the decade of the 1960's. But there's many a politician who tries, basing his case on the enormous growth in the demands for government services,. the fact that the people expect them, and the responsibility of government to provide them. . What doesn't fit even this "pat explanation is the proliferation in generals and admirals. In analyzing the budget, an economist of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce found that thera are about seven times as many generals or admirals today, per soldier or sailor, as there were 30 years ago. As a matter of fact, we have more generals and admirals today, leading our peacetime force of 2.2 million men and women in uniform than we had in World War II leading our fighting forces of 12.2 million in uniform That bit of factual Information should tend to make the voluntary fighting forces more attractive. With more chiefs and fewer Indians, everyone has a better chance of making the top. --Strasburg Northern Virginia Daily AN EXPERT'S OPINION In those days of concern Nixon's strong language on the tape transcripts, and the many "expletives deleted," it may be instructive to refer to a voice from the past, a former president and an expert on cussing. In 1946, President Harry S. Truman said of the then Congressman Richard Nixon, "...In his recent remarks Mr. Nixon used a very mild four-letter word that was not all that bad. I have one observation to make about Congressman Nixon: It seems to me that he doesn't even know how to swear or cuss. He's got the words, but the melody ain't right." --Anniston (Ala.) Star THE KING'S ENGLISH Just about the time the "expletive deleted" thing is getting worn out, comes a c o m m e n t on the "atrocious grammar" aspects of the Â·Watergate tapes; "Grammar may seem like a minor point at this time, but it is something of a shock to realize that a man who has managed to become President of the United States docs not know the difference between such verbs as 'lie' and 'lay' Â· (the men were laying the bushes, ho says), when to use 'who' or 'whom.' 'like,' or 'as,' or the tenses of the verbs," one Felicity Hoffecker wrote in a Art Buchwald Summer Intrigue By ART BUCHWALD . EAST HAMPTON, N.Y. -- I was glad to discover last weekend that Washington isn't the only place in the United Stales where people are all screwed up. Even, a town as affluent and peaceful as East Hampton has terrible problems. We were house guests of the Stones and they asked us who of our dear friends in East Hampton we would like to see. "How about the Grabowskis a n d the Peregrines?" I suggested, ' ' W e can't have the G r a b o w s k i s wjlh t h e Peregrines,'' Stone said. "It seems two years ago Grabowski borrowed Peregrine's barbecue spit and returned it the next day with the handle missing. Grabowski didn't mention it much less offer to pay for a new handle and so Peregrine hasn't spoken to him since." "Well, what about the Cummerbunds? " "WE'RE not speaking to the Cummerbunds," S t o n e said curtly. "I thought they were your . best friends." THEY WERE until I played tennis with Tom Cummerbund last weekend and he called a footfault on me. You don't call footfaults on your friends. I've never called a footfault on Tom in my life, and believe you me he footfaults all the time. He can't serve without having both feet in the court.'" "Let's forget Cummerbund," I said. "I'd love to s e e the Wackc nbushes." "You can see him but n o t her," Stone said. "Why can't I see her?" "She ran away to Newport with a gardener." From Oar Files; How Time Flies] 10 YEARS AGO . The two Oklahoma men who escaped from city jail here July 9 were apprehended yesterday by New Orleans police, Police Chief Holiis Spencer said today. The City council's surprise move at Monday's meeting to revamp the Sanitation Depart- so VEARS AGO Sixty-five hundred dollars was appropriated last night by the city council for paving intersections of School Avenue Improvement District. The first annual grape tour of the Ozark region of Missouri and Arkansas is already an assured success. The tour, which starts today will be made 100 YEARS AGO ' The next session Of the Viney Grove Male and Female Academy will open July 27 under Prof. W. A. Garner and lady. Music is taught by Miss Mollie Ilendry. Work on Hie University Building is going on rapidly and from the number of hands mcnt is due to t h a t . department's financial difficulties. Financial s t a t e m e n t s prepared fo rthe City Council by Comptroller Albert Jones show that the cost of the improvements at city park this spring totalled $6,033. in automobiles each grower bringing his own car. "Witness for Christ's Sake" is the name of a new magazine, now in its first edition of 30,000 copies on news stands. It is edited by J. F. Jeter, and is published here "for time and eternity" according to front page announcement of Volume One, Number One. engaged at the work we predict that this grand structure will be roofed before the winter snows set in. It is safe to say that there are more bushels of wheat raised in Washington County this season than at any one year since the war. They'll Dp It Every Time 5HORTY PAINTS C6IUN6S AMP HIPPO DOES THE PEUCATE WORK-- letter to the editor of the New York Times. To her, grammar is important. Its whole point is to make meaning clearer. "Perhaps," she suggests, "this is just one more example of how these people became so mixed up." She is technically correct, of course. The White House transcripts would rate a "D" in any high school English class, quite apart from the content. But if Miss, or Ms., Hoffecker expects Americans to be upset by bad grammar, she is quite off base. The case is just the opposite. It is almost positively un- American to know the difference between lie and lay, who and whom, like and as, and so on. Anyone who does is immediately suspected of elitist tendencies, of -- of all things -- being educated. As for communication, the whole point of language as used by every one from presidents to public relations people is not to inform or to "make perfectly clear." but to persuade. You simply cannot do that if you don't speak the language of the common man. The language in the tanes may be of "D" caliber, but then, if Americans wanted the king's English used in the White House at all times, ohe.susoects they would have elected a king. --Baton Rouge Morning Advocate "Was Wackenbush sore?" I asked. "Not as much as Henry and Lucy Trilby. You see it 'was THEIR gardener. They're not talking to Wackenbush because they feel if he had paid more attention to his wife the Trilby's rhododendrons would still be alive." "So much for the Wacken- Â·buslies," I said. "You lnow who we'd love to have dinner with -- the Coffinbacks." "You can have dinner with them," Stone said, "but we won't." Â· "But'wc all grew up with the Coffinbacks," I said. "That's exactly the point. Two weeks, ago we gave a dinner party for Ann Miller, the tap-dancer, and we invited them. Then last weekend they gave a dinner party for Tony Martin and you know what they did--they asked us to come in for coffee afterwards." "Boy, this East Hampton 'is f u l l of intrigue," I said. "I think it would be easier if you could tell me who we can see." S T O N E THOUGHT f o r awhile. "There's the Pattersons. We like them very much, and I know you do too." "Let's invite the Pattersons then," I said. "They're not here," Stone said. "They rented their house, for July and went to England. What about the Profiterolles?" ' ' I don't know the Profilerolles," I said, "but we'll see them anyway." "Nah," said Stone. "They'd bore you to death." "I don't see how you people make it through the summer," I said. "It's not easy," Stone ad- -mitlcd. "There are a l o t of people out here we'd love for you to meet, but we can't stand their house guests. And there are a lot of house guests we'd love to see, but we can't stand the people they're staying with." "Why don't we just go to a Howard Johnson's for dinner and forget about it?" "No way!" Stone said. "The last time I was there I had a fight with the manager and I told him I'd never come back." "I guess that just about does It," I said. "Wait a minute. I just remembered, there's the Rucksacks," Syonc said. "You mean you know one couple in East Hampton lhat nobody is mad at?" "They just moved out here last week and no one has had a chance to get sore at them yet." (C) 1974, Los Angeles Times Bible Verse "But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shulleth up his Iwwels of compassion f r o m him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?" 1 John 3:17 The Irue test of a real follower of Christ is not just a good word hut a willingness to share in the worldly goods that God has blessed him will). "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me." "For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God," John 12:43 Great victories have been lost only because we have been content to settle for man's opinion ever against the will and word of God. By JACK ANDERSON WASHINGTON--Standard Oil of California (Spcal) has hired a mysterious private investigating firm, known as JHF Associates, to find out who has been, slipping us embarrassing documents from its files. JHF himself is a British intelligence specialist whose full name is John H. Farmer. He is on an undercover mission in the Middle East- But one', of his associates a former CIA a-gent named Joe Smith, has been directing the Socal investigation. B'or several months, Smith has been turning Socal's San Francisco headquarters inside out. He has concluded from his investigation, according to our sources inside the company, that at least one. document in our possession is a forgery. We contacted JHF Associates and offered to help determine whether the document is authentic. We have made several inquiries which have satisfied us that the memo, indeed, is a forgery. We oblained the document as part of our investigation of the oil crisis, an investigation that took us from California to the. Middle East. We obtained documents from at least three major oil firms. The bogus document, which had only a minor influence upon our investigation, was highly technical. We quoted only Ihis portion: "Severe lechnical problems have been encountered by The Washington Merry-Go-Round Aramco In the Saudi Arabian fields..(in 1073), production was increased from 6,5 million barrels per day to 9 million barrels per day to meet, increasing U.S. demands. The rescrvior pressures fluctuated so greatly that corporate engineers now cstrrnate produc- gion will be stabilized at no more than 7.5 million barrels per day, far below the 20 million barrels per day projections." After quoting from the memo, we also published on Jan- 11, 1974, the response of a company spokesman who said the memo was "all wet, completely erroneous." Later, in Saudi Arabia, we showed the document to Oil M i n i s t e r Ahmed Zaki Yamani and published his reaction. "He said his technical experts keep close watch on Aramco's production," we reported on February 23. ".The alleged "se- v e r e ', teclinical problems' couldn't have developed, he felt sure, without his knowledge. "He agreed it will take a few years to reach the 20-million- barrel goal..(He said production) is now back up to 8.6 million barrels and could reach 10 million barrels, next year." The forged memo contained some correct but also some misleading information. We wish to go on record, therefore, as en- dorsing Yamani's response. Footnote: Who could have forged the document? Some dissidents, who put out an underground sheet called "Stranded Oil," had access to Socal's files. Perhaps they planted the phony memo. Smith told us he believes the forgery was part of a larger, more sinister plot, . perhaps even the KGB Soviet secret police. The memo has detailed markings which' only someone familiar with Socal's files would be able to duplicate. Our source picked out the document from the files, without the slightest suspicion it might not be genuine. He consented, for example, that we make it Â· available to Senate investigators to take up with the company. He now feels like a bank teller who passed a counterfeit $20 bill. , . .CRUEL CUT: Two-year-old Torrey Anderson, son of an Air Force sergeant, couldn't walk or talk but remained usually in fetal position, staring at the floor. The diagnosis: He had a severe mental disorder professionally called autism; he also had a neurological disease that made one leg smaller than the other- But after a year at San Francisco's Eiut mental health center, the little fellow was walk- A Potpourri Excerpts From The World Of Thought SPRAY CAN DANGERS. Janice Crossland, "Aerosols," Environment, July-August 1974, pp. -16-20. "The aerosol industry has been one of the fastest growing and most successful business enterprises in the United Slates since its inception in the early 1950s. Last year nearly three billion aerosol cans were sold in the U.S. alone. Not only has there been a steady increase in the total number of aerosol spray containers sold, but an ever-increasing v a r i e t y of products can he bought in aerosol cans. Along with this growth, however, has been an increasing number of doubts about the safety of aerosol dispensing systems." ' ' M o s t recently, vinyl chloride, an ingredient in certain brands of hair sprays and pesticide sprays, has been linked to liver cancer in workers employed in the manufacture of plastics." "The allowable concentration a c c o r d i n g to Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) standards was until recently 500 parts per million- OSHA...has now set an emergency standard of 50 parts per million." "At the same time, it is known that hair spray users, under conditions of normal usage, may be exposed to 250 parts per-million of vinyl chloride." "Of a variety of other health hazards associated with exposure to aerosol sprays, some are well-known while others are s u s p e c t e d . T h e Freons (fluourinated hydrocarbon propellant gases), which affect the nervous system and the heart, are known to cause death when inhaled in largo quantities; It has also been suggested that exposure of pregnant women to Freons could possibly cause an increased rale of abortions, although this remains c o n j e c t u r e until long-term (chronic) toxicity experiments are done." PRO-GROWTH. -- B. Bruce Brfggs, "Against the Neo- Malthusians," Commentary, July 1974, pp. 25-29. "The past few years have been a spate of claims that the modern era of population and- economic growth is about fo be halted by scarcity of resources and environmental pollution." "Such is the current conventional wisdom with regard to the prospects for mankind. But there is also another position which draws a quite different picture of the future: The earth can easily support populations and gross world products many times larger than today's... We have almost certainly only scratched the surface of resources, which will be available in plenty for everybody for centuries. Pollution has been shown to be relatively easy and cheap to control once the will to do so is evident." "The Hudson Institute has made calculations for operating a world of 15-20 billion people with an average per capita income of $20,000 (the current figures are just under 4 billion and $1,200; per capita income in the U.S. is $6,000). The Hudson analysts used no computer or fancy assumptions. With nothing more sophisticated than B pocket calculator, they added up land, food, and resource availability and found them sufficient for a world producing and consuming a hundred times more than today's-" "The nco-Malthusians tell us we should share the world's resources. Does anyone really believe we will? The neo-Mal- thusians say we must establish a stable world order. Does anyone really believe we can? Already the more imaginative Pentagon planners aro writing scenarios of resource and pollution wars. The neo-Mal- thusians would have us be more generous and unselfish and less greedy and materialistic... H a v e computers greater authority than Scripture?" GROWING FOOD. Richard W. Franke, "Miracle Seeds and Shattered Dreams in Java," Challenge, July-August 1974, pp. 41-47. "Culturally, politically, and economically, Java is Ind o n e s i a ' s most important island. It is also one of the world's richest agricultural regions." "By the turn of the 20th c e n t u r y , the strains of population growth and the expropriation of rice lands by Dutch sugar interests had begun to produce the paradox so common in the undcr- d e v e l o p e d world today- increased profits for the wealthy few and a declining standard of living for the mass of producers." "This decline has continued. It has brought the people of Java to the verge of famine and created ever worsening conditions for the vast majority of the tisland's 80 million inhabitants." "Yet this island has been the object of one of the most e l a b o r a t e food production schemes of the past two decades. Between 1967 and 1972 the government of Indonesia and its Western allies spent well over $100 Â·million, mostly on Java, in an attempt to produce nationally 154 million tons of rice--the amount needed for self-sufficic-ncey--by 1073. By the 1972 harvest, however, the program was clearly failing." "The program that was to have overcome tho food shortage on Java is called the Green Revolution." ing, talking and going home on weekends. His leg also showed no trace of the neurological disease. Other children like Torrey, however, may not be so fortunate, because the Defense Department is cutting back medical assistance' for military.de^ pendents. Among other "savings," a Pentagon memo decreed that expenditures for "treatment for a mental or emotional disorder" would, be slashed. Yet military children are more susceptible to' emotional disturbance tlian average children because of the constant moving and the father's absence from home. Specifically, the new cutbacks would limit the stay of military dependents in treatment center to no more than 120 days. Few children with serious emotional disturbances or mental disorders, according to the National Institute of M e n t a l Health, can be treated successfully in 120 days. A Pentagon spokesman promised that children with severe cases of autism would not be affected by the limitations. But my reporter Chris Nordhn- ger found that treatment centers haven't been notified of this exception. Suggestion: The money to care for the Torrey Andersons could be made available by cutting back instead on the limousines, helicopters and airplanes that are provided for tha convenience of the brass hats, Hollywood , M East-On f The Potomac WASHINGTON (ERR) After attending this year's American Booksellers Association convention in Washington, D.C., Los Angeles Times book editor Digby Diehl concluded that the nation's capital has become Hie "Hollywood of the 1970s." Washingtonians find it'difficult to think of their city as Tinseltown-on-lhe-Potomac. Many feel that John F. Kennedy's description -- "a city of southern efficiency and northern charm" -- is closer to tha mark. But consider the. evidence to the contrary: The celebrity authors who attended the ABA convention included George Plimpton, Zero Mostel, Rona Barrett, Julie Andrews, and Morris the Cat. And yet, Eliot Fremont-Smith wrote in New York magazine, "the autographing championship went to Jeb Stuart Magruder, author of An American Life: One Man's Road to Weter- gale." Also in town that week was Robert Bedford, the reigning matinee idol of Hollywood West. He was there to confer with - Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, two of the brightest stars of Hollywood East. Bedford will portray Woodward in the film version of the reporters' best- selling Watergate book, All th9 President's Men. MONDAY, JULY 8, was Washington's busiest day so far as the nation's entertainment capital. The U.S. Supreme Court (some now refer to the justices as "the Supremes") heard oral arguments in tha cases of U.S. v. Nixon and Nixon v. U.S. Elsewhere in town, the House Judiciary Committee was proceeding with its impeachment inquiry and the "plumbers" trial was drawing to a close. So much to see and do in one day, so much ground to cover! To simplify matters as much as possible, 'The Wash- . ington Post published "A Capital Guide to Superslar- gazing," illustrated by a map of Watergate landmarks. "With our Map of the Stars," Judith Martin wrote, "you can see where famous events took place, gaze at the places where the stars live and work, and perhaps even catch them at lunch." She went on to suggest tours, including The Washington-Area Homes of Richard Nixon (seven of them since 1942, including the Whit9 House). THAT WASHINGTON now boasts a stable of stars, super and not-so-super, is a tribute to the power of the media. Last summer's televised Walergala hearings transformed seven formerly obscure U.S. senators into nationally known figures in an amazingly short period of time. TV viewers who at first complained that the hearings were pre-empting their favorite soap operas soon found that the drama in the committee room was of a higher order than lhat of The Secret Storm. Not all of Washington's stars owe their prominence to Watergate. A prime example is Martha Mitchell, the estranged wife of former Attorney General John N. Mitchell. Long before the Watergate scandal broke, Mrs. Mitchell's outspoken opinions and engaging manner had made her a famiilar figure to television viewers and newspaper readers. She has since proved a deft performer on television as a game-show contestant and talk- show hostess. The fact remains, however, that famo is fleeting -- perhaps even more so in Hollywood East than in Hollywood West. One blockbuster does not a career make, in politics or motion pictures. The news media follow the action, wherever it is, which helps to explain Andy Warhol's prediction that everyone in the world will be famous for 15 m i n u t e s . Of Washington's current status as Hollywood East, it seems safo to say that this, too, shall pass.