The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on December 1, 1897 · Page 7
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 7

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, December 1, 1897
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THE XJ-PPKM MS MOtN^S: ALGOKA TOW A, MOBMBgBj* SCI'ENCE ANt> PRODUCTION. A procession of icebergs sent against tie surface of the sun would melt a: the fate of 300,000,000 cubic inches ol *6lid Ice a second, and the heat is esti- 'inaled to produce a force of about 10.000 horse-power to every square foot of surface. The mines of the old world produce every year 640,000,000 tons of ore, coal, etc., of which the United States produces 160,000,000. The greatest record ever maie, perhaps, by any mine was that of the Comstock in 1&74, when nearly $25,000,000 worth of gold and silver was taken out. A microscopic examination of mother of pearl shows the shell to be made of Very flue lines so closely put together that the white light is broken up Into its prismatic colors, and we get the so-called "play of colors." Taking a careful cast of such shell the wax cast will yield the same prismatic effects. The longest unsupported telegraph wire In the world is in Switzerland. It crosses In one span the lake of Wal- lenetadt in the canton of St. Gall, and was put up by the Swiss telephone bureau. Its extremities are fastened to two iron towers, 2,400 meters (7.S72 feet) apart. In the lowest part thia conductor Is 131 feet abovo the water level of the lake. The line Is of excellent steel and only one and one-half inches in diameter. It appears from the experiments of n French scientific man that oak trees are in more danger than other trees of being struck by lightning. Beeches, on the contrary, are not good conductors of electricity. Tho danger of trees from lightning is great in proportion to tho electrical conductibility of their wood. Dead trees and dead wood generally form a much better conductor than living, growing woods, which offer" great resistance. It is estimated that 3,000 to 4,000 cords of pulp wood a day enter into the manufacture of paper in the United States. At the minimum, 3,000 cords, the total for a year would be the enormous amount of 900,000 cords. It is safe to call it 1,000,000. If this wood were piled in one continuous string it would make a wall four feet wide and four feet high a little over 1,515 miles in length. It can be seen what a prodigious thing the wood-pulp industry is, and at what a tremendous rate it is devouring trees, mainly spruce. Yet all this wood is converted into paper, which, after being used, vanishes from sight to a few days and goes back to dust, out of which element the trees i grow. ART OF OSCULATION. Rowena, the daughter of Hengist. a Saxon, monarch, introduced to the world the art of kissing. At a banquet given by the British king in honor of his allies tho pjincess, after pressing the brimming "beaker to her lips, saluted the astonished and delighted allies with a kiss, after the manner of her own people. Thus kissing was established. In the reign of Edward IV. a guest •was expected on his arrival and departure to salute not only his hostess but all the ladies of tho family, with a kiss. The practice was in full vigor when Erasmus sojourned in England «md wrote: "if you go to any place you are received with a kiss by all; if you depart on a journey you are dismissed with a kiss; you return, kisses are exchanged; they come to visit you, a kiss is the first thing; they leave you, you Itiss them all round." OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR; LAUCHTER.PROVOKING STORIES FOR,' LOVERS OF FUN. I'.Mtff .«•«-. riill..-.r-A falimUl.- l»!M,lm-tl<tn-\ «fooil Thlng—Tliti (;rit.prinn_TIt<i »w Addition — Dm IMU- tin- Hniic.vtnooil— HIS Stirring A|>pi-nl-Tli« JS.-ni.on, Ktr. Tin? frost lias pinkod iliplinrry Inc'ts tlml held tins forrsrs yield. Anil posing in tltolr vi.-'lvot nooks (lie fruit- 6 DROPS CORES RHEUMATISM. A up tlio fallen Ami now I lir-nr. us wimls <lu s\vi '-'llOSt. mil's SH'.'lJ'illK li)|), Tlio pat tin-(i I' the nut* ,-is on UM< JeiiVRS l.lu-y (Imp. Another BUM! ainl now. HIP burnish' Rets mining down. I Tcol youth's thrilling ci-slnsy from tent, to very onMvn. And u kn Us tritpiilulion. as I hour, to blight my Rim-, Tlio putter oft!),' runner's foul as lio .-mm-* (ifti 1 )- UK-. 11'u'limmnl liisiiat.cli. A l'»l|iiili|f. "Miss Hig'hsti'piH-! courteous yoini}? wdiii "No; but aren't her exquisite?" ..... ..Tinljj,,. IlisliiK-Uiin. H-!' i* not a very soeiet manners Tin- The I'rolVssiii- Crhi-riuil. -"Is lie SM vi-i'v elev- Ol'V" The lie enu turo." Uiiiynliste, - IMi-llil ni!V oh] Kind "V so pnnc- Tin- K.-KVII Teacher »-' ; Wim IUM bus spent so ninny you 1 .' can European (!din-|. (.11 Pupil--"Me w: u I, •ingol." ft«m«<1jr Which l» Attrfcft- lug Urtile.lprcAd Attention. Many, who were afflicted, have acknowledged the curative properties of a new and wonderful remeJy tralc marked "Five Drops." One says: "I cannot express my gratitude to God, also to you, for the benefit I am receiving from 'Five Drops.'. I now walk about without a crutch, which I have had to use for a long time." — Mrs. A. Spring, 030 Main street, Springfield, Mass. Another reads: "We think your medicine truly. wonderful; it cured my husband. I, recommend it to all sufferers." — Mrs.' M. S. Pike, Colville. Wash. "Fiv.5 Drops" taken hut once n day is a rtoso of this .great remedy, and to enable all sufferers to make a trial of its wonderful curative properties the manufacturers will send out during the next thirty days 100,000 sample bottles for 2fi cents each, prepaid by mail — send today. Even a sample bottle will convince you of its merits. Swauson Rheumatic Cure Company. 107-100 Dearborn street. Chieatro. 111. In «i«inl» Store-. miss! l>f.v "Is iinyoiio wultiiiK on yon Ilio elort politely. "Yi's, wr," slie (tinipered. siigngeil threo inonllis." '1 Imvo l:eon A Simple Invention. •s why (in!nin• in p;i>ing i'roin iiuotli for 11 Tin* Ni-u "Owing to tho i family, 1 Itimt h house." "Boy 01- sir]?" "Hon-iii-law." . \ildiliiin. tMinl. inereiise in nvr .ul to tuke, a new \ <iootl 'I' 'How is that, hair Hewitt- cr? :l •Towetfc—"(ivoiit. 3Iy wife e,au'l. pull my lin.il' out i'ust eitougli to keep up with it."—New York Journal. Wllltl. S'.IVOlI IlilM. Tho policeman collared tho scorcher.. "Here!" ho exoltiimed, "you bloody— Hello, you vide the. same mako of wheel J. do. You'd hotter pump up' that front tire u little, it's too soft." . Not Oullv. Son "Papa, what is :i. countess?" Father—"A oonntesu, jny boy, is the Avife of a count." Sou (after a little thinking)—"Them is a sxivernesK tho wife of u Oover- IWIXED PARACRAPHS. Berlin has no "slums," ns we understand them. Even in tho poorest quarters of the city the streets are paved with asphalt, and are kept faultlessly clean. According to Boston papers.meh have now gone out of service as telephone operators in that city. Here is one occupation, at least, claimed exclusively by women. The red spider, which it was hoped would destroy the water hyacinths in Florida, has not succeeded in that Hue. The plants seem to grow faster than the insect can destroy them. In France It is a punishable offense for anyone to give infants under one year any form of solid food unless sucb be ordered by written prescription signed by a legally qualified medical man. _ Tvnltn to tlio Smitii Hesnmort. Information comes from the passenger department of the Louisville & Nashville Railroad company that all their trains have been resumed and schedules restored. These include a double daily solid train service from Cincinnati. Chicago, Louisville. Kvanfi- vllle and SSt. Louis to Nashville, Memphis, Birmingham. Montgomery, Mobile. Pensacola and New Orleans. Also ,1 double dally service of Pullman buffet sleeping curs from the Northern cities to Jacksonville. Fin. _ Over in Nr-w ilon;oy n-tralning school for nni-KOs nil used :i diplumii to a young woman KTmltiriln IxK'iiiiso slio wrote poetry. J. 1C. (talbrailh, who has been appointed (raffle manager of the Cleveland Terminal unrt Valley Railroad Company, with headquarters at Cleveland, will also be the general agent of the B. and O. at that point. These two positions wore formerly held by L, Rush Brockonbrough. who is now general freight agent of the B. and O. lines west of the Ohio river, with headauar- ters at Pittsburg. WOMEN BO NOT THE WlOtE Wdraen Evade dortato Questions When Asked Physician, but Writ© freely to Mitt. Iiiforiunl ion. Bobby— Popper, uiu'c "work" synonymous? Mr. Ferry— I should say not- tbe politicians who dourly, nuuily bor, but bate work. In bur" awl k a.t love In Misery by th« Wholesale. Js what chronic inactivity of tho liver gives rise to. Bile gets into tlio blood au Fmparts a yellow tint, the tongue touls, ami KO&068 the breath, sick headaches, yum he- neath the right ribs and shoulder b ado* are felt, the bow els beuome eonstipale.1 and the stomach disordered. T !' 0 .l )l ;y v< ;" f1t ^ eay for this catalogue of evUsis HosteUei s Stomach Bitters, u medicine long am 1 «io- fesslonallv recommended, and «>\eieu also for chills uud fever, nervousness and I 'I'll* Spet-iiilist **«"• 1 '*Ica.Ho;l on tl.ie doctor this morning. 1ml he fiaidhie "couldn't do anything for me"So you bad your visit for nothing. "Oil, no. Five guineas." __ HeliHleer in Alnn'KB- Dr. Sheldon Jackson, for 20 years a traveler in Alaska, says the government's experiment of importing reindeer tram Siberia Is a success and that the problem of winter traveling m the Interior is practically solved. Thieo hundred miles per day can be made over the snow with relays at ^ reasonable intervals and best of aM, the reindeer will rustle for his OWE fowl. The best map of the Yukon-Klondike mining country has been printed m folder form by the Northern Pacific railway. Send a 2-ceut postage stamp to Chas. S. Fee, G. P. A., fat Paul, Mi»n. The folder -is full of up-to-date information regarding rates aud route.. to Alaska. Duriii!; lli<- Honeymoon. Mabel (in her now riding habit)— ; 'Do you think I look pretty in this habit', Tom?" Tom—"My dour, you Imvo n habit, of Ionian-.; pretty at till time.'!."—Chicago NCW.S, CoiiNiilfM' tin; 1'oor Slolhov. Mrs. Bigg-—"ISeniiin disturbed me so that I couldn't take my nap this at'tin-noon." Mr. Bigg—"Pretty noisy, was he?" Mrs. Bigg—"No;'ho wns so qnict that I! just kne\v ho was Mick."— Judge. 7\"nvs From Klondike. Collins, the Crook—-"rl'oro'fi un account 'I' it feller wot took eighty OUIICOH of gold out 'n oiiu pocket, in Alnsky." Petey, tho, Pickpocket.—"! sh'n'd fink do 'teller h missed nil ihit clothes." Ills Slli-riiii; ,\i>iit!H.l. "The eyes ol' this world," said the. orator, "are upon you. Humanity limits breathless upon your action." After winch, he presented the name of his candidate for the nomination for village constable, and everybody breathed again.— Puck. "And, in spit-o of all the light that Las been brought into your lives, you still burn missionaries?" The savage was palpably eonlused. "Yea,"he answered, sadly; "1 must confess that eivili/ation doesn't seem to have better." A Council Bluffs inventor last wcett obtained a patent through Sues & Co., Omaha Patent Solicitors, for cue of the simplest inventions that hat ever been issued out of the patent office and the inventor ifi working day and night in order to fill orders. The Inventions comprises a sounding toy ami is nothing more or ICSB than a fiimplo piece of round sheet metal which Is stamped with n. aeries of rings and provided with a border, but which if placed In Ilio palm o£ the hand and vibrated emits a lountl sound similar r.o a telegrapli Rounder, the invention lieing known as the eraeket. jack telegraph. The inventor last week was Ii.000 gross behind in orders. Free samples; of this invention may be had by addressing Sues & Co., Bee building, Omaha, Neb. AVo show abovo I throe copyrighted cuts of inventions which brought their originators fame if not fortune. 7?rimii l*":u;io KvUlcnno. Hilly--Your dud hea quit Kmokin' baint'e? .iiihimy—Yep! Ifow'd you know? Billy-'-I steii 'im kickin' tho dorg. Try t«raln-O. Ask your grocer to-day to show you :L package of (JRA1N-O, the new food drink that takes the, place of colt'ee. Tlie children may drink it without iniiiry as well as the adult. AH who 1.rv ii like it. C.UAIN-O has that rich seal brown of Mocha or .lava, but it is made from pure grains, mid the most delicate stomach receives it without distress, .'i' the price of coffee. Ki cents and 25 cents per package. Sold by nil grocers. Tastes like coffee. Looks Hl;e. colVei 1 .. Tlio lioston iiiirk IjoiiimiHsion estimates Ibnt il will cost $3,280000 to complete tlio pork KJ Htom. if Our send Itcnil the AilvortlM! You will enjoy this publication much better if you will get into the habit of reading the advertisements. They will afford a most Interesting study and will put you in the way getting some excellent bargains, advertisers are reliable, they what they advertise. lu Mexico City Hop Loo advertises nn American remnnrunt. IJOR «li»l<iri» Doomed. I Wo know Hint I'lmiieiH nml bri-oilni-.i wlU'ri-JMec'i vlii-n M« toll Hi-'"' tlmt mi Imvo (llsi.-oviiiviil a |>of.ltlvO| mm-lllo fur tills ilis-ntr. Chlm-o Naplliolumii whim, irivi'M UK ill r<-<:< (•<!. cllhi-r 111 I'.ie fiuid 01- ilrlnU mirti Mirinklril al«mt tho I'IMM! lotnnml put Inllio "walliiw, w111 positively wort out n utii-o nnil (iravuntH Its fill 1 - tlior spi-onil. ' In fcUi-li <'nws imtliliiK JM «o pnul or (ion- vlm-liiKKHatrliil. Wu will i«ml (inu Knllim of Uliloro Naiitholnnin, fi-Hl|?ht palil, on iwi-lptof «I.Bn. A«kfoi-| the urtli-lii nl. dniKBlnts. or wi-lle tn UH dlrocl. rho 1 WeHtlilKiiifDi-lliiKCo.. Ullli-^.OS K. Kill St., :\ew1orlr. ::3J.'i Intllana Avi-., Uhlclifo. An eminent physician savs Unit "Women am toot, tfnt.hfnl, to their triifsicians." This stoteiftcnfe should be qualified; ^«*men-od tell.,t^6 truth but not the whole truth, to a male physician, but this is only in J-eg&W to thoso. painful and troublesome disorders peculiar to their sex. There can be no more terrible mtlftril to a deliciiteti sensitive, refined woman than to be obliged to answer certain questions when those questions are asked, even by her family physician. This is especially the case with unmarried women. This is the reason why thousands and tliotisands of women are now corresponding' with Mrs. Plnkhain. To this good woman they can and do give every symptom, so that «he really knows more about the true condition of. her patients through her correspondence than tho physician who per^ somilly quest jobs them. Perfect confidence and candor tire at once established between Mrs. Pinkham and her patients. Years ago women had no such racoursc. Nowadays a modest woman asks help of a woman who understands women. If you suffer from any form of trouble peculiar to women, write at once, to Mrs. Pinhhnui, Lynn, Mass., and she will advise yon free of charge. And the fact Hint, this great boon which is extended freely to women by Mrs. Pinkham, is appreciated, the Ihousu.nds of letters which, arc received by her prove. Many such grateful letters as the following are constantly pouring in: " I was a. fiufferer from female weakness for about a year and a half. 1 have tried doctors and patent medicines, but nothing helped me. 1 underwent the horrors of local, treatment, Twit received no be.nc.tlt. My ailment was pronounced nleeration of the womb. J. suffered from Intense pains in tho womb and ovaries, and the backache was dreadful. 1 hud leuoorrhoca in its worst form. Finally I grew so weak I had to keep my bed. The pains were so bard as to almost cause spasms. When 1 could endure tho no lon-'cr I was given morphine. My " Thus I answer catno Pinkhain's Compound After taking two bottles I felt inuoli"better; but Lies I was cured. My friends think my cure Her noble work "is surely a ble*sing to broken-down women Pratt, Kansas. \ pain no longer L wan givun mui^m memory grew short, and J. gave up all hope of ever getting well. dragged along. At ikat I wrote to Mrs. Pinkhnra for uclviec. Her answ fi t T nnrl (»ni*ofnllv liovlo.1 tor iiiul coiK'liulcu to try Jjj uuii Jj» i.ii £T!1' i?,; r,n,n,,ni,,,d. After taking two bottles I felt much better; b touched would weight out ! i' vo his inmlo our cooks appreciably Truin tliu viTowinc trees bo thai only tlcnd tinil injured limbs' will need removing hitci' on. ____ ________________ lioliihiy K.xciirsloiiH. On ])c-ceii!l;er T nnil 31. Ihe R\K ] ' olir itouio and Chohapoiiko and Ohio Jty. will sell Hxonrwou tickets from points northwest, boi.li uiio way aiul round trip, ut greatly minced rale's to points in Virginia. Worth mul South Ciirolinu and other southern Ktiites. Hound trip tinkots will bo good Uventy-cmo dnys roturuinp. AVrile for I>nrtiiMil«r/i nuij ijMiiiy/nlot descriptive of c-liintito iind V'irKiniu farm Imids. I'J. Truitl, North western Passenger Agent, !ii54 Clark St., Chicago. A few drops ot givcorlno put nrouncl tho edge of ajar of i'ruit, will prevent mola, Don't Tobacco Spit anil Smoke Tour Ufo Avray. To quit tobacco oaoily and forever, beinag- aetlc. lull of life, uurve and vigor, talto JNo-To- Bao, the wonder- worUer, thiit malies woali wen strong. All druggists, OOc or II. Cure guaranteed. Booklet; B|id sample free. Address Remedy' Go. . 'CMosu&or New Yorfc "Spirits uro not (IneJy touched But to live issues." linnnly IK l!lo»il i)ncj>. Clcnn blood uiptvns u olean skin. Ko beauty wltlioutit. CJtvs-fnrots.Cniidy Ofttlui.r- ti(! cloanB your blood mid kuit]is it itltHin, by (itirriiiK up tho lu/.y livor and dri vinp; nil in;- puritios Irom tlie body. Hogin to-day to bullish pimples, boils, blotches,blackheads, and that sickly bilious complexion by Inking CascnrotH,—bounty for ton cents. All drufi'- o-ist.s. sHtisfftctipnVuiirantcod. Kte, 33c. fiOc. 't'ho now Astoria hotel in Now York lir.t 1 .JiOfl rnoins. FITS I'nrnmnoiiUyC'm-pil. NontB or nun'dusiioss :il tor :ii-«t il:iy'K HBO of Dr. Kllno'a Dnnit. Nurvo UUHIOVLT. Sund fur FIIKFJ S^.IIO Irlnl Iml tlu mill t.mitiso. JJ». K. 11. KI.IXI:, LtiL.UUl Aroli St., riiiluduliiliiu, I'u. MriliMi liindlor.ls uro Miiid I" own DO,000,000 acro.i ot hind in thin country. No-To-Hn« fur Klfly Ccnla. Ouai'iiiiin'-'il U)liiii-(-i) Imliit euro, iniiitcs wral: men KUOIIIJ, lilijuU pure. SO:-. $1. All ilr.iggislN. China lias u war god with il,t:00 dill'urent Not Wlmt Sli« Wnnl.Kil. Dry goods elorlin —Would you JJkn to si-o something in delieato colors') Kttriil iiiiBlomor—Dullcivto color*{ f\o, iiiileed. young uinn'i 1 wont something that'll wiishl >y local upDlK-Mtlons nij tln-y ™n:iot •ein-b Uio ilnu-aacd portion ot tln> - i-ni. J'lierti IK only one way to c.uro dealiiuHs, iiii.l Ihul IH by ooiisllt'illoniil re_m..>dt(.s. i.)',;rn<"m IH CMtm-Hl by .in hill.anoil -option of ilu- niiicoUH lining -ir tin- '..»«• taclilan Tub.:. When tins lu m ' named yon Inivt. a rumlil IIIK » tun u oi m perfect lifnrlng, anU wlicn it la i tU > I-loued Df-afnesa In tlie n'-sult, uml un- !^,fe'!± n «S»?^l.^,orJ]{u! l cr Smon "noVirtSB w H bo ..loBn-oyiHl forover; nine cauns out ot t<-n nro «iau>,0( I > oa lorrhwblp.il is nothing but. an Intlamud condition of tho. nitmoUH «uriaccn. We will «lvo Ono Hxnulri'il DolUus foi n ,iv ca«" of Unai'nnHfl (-.-aused by caliirrb tlmt cannot be cunxl by flull'H Caturil: C'uri-. St'iKl for circulars, free K. .1. OH1CNKV & CO.. Sold by ImiK«lsts, 7, r ic. Hall's Fnrnily r j llls m-.- Oio bnsl. Toloilo O. On nn nvorngo nn J2uj.'lMnnnn if* J'otii 1 toon poiitKls buavier tliun tlio averngu Froncliniuu. ^ To euro <:iinm.i|):itlcui VTorover. Ta'.:n CUKBIH-CIS C.'aiHl.v CnUiurtii!. 10,5 or ZM- 11 U (J. <:. ftil! if cure. ib'UEKlHtu rofiniil niuii(,.v Slio—Who WUM it lliut cald tlii't n worn nn'K bCK.t fncud was lior drossiniilio •'. Ho 1'i-obubly tins drossinnUor. Doctors lire now roconmii'iHliiiK fur rtlreugtheninir tlio voli-i 1 KLONDYKE! 100 MEN WANTISI) to go to Kloudvke. YuiiBportiition guimr nnU rotarnmsr, cloth- nc and provision-) farnlsliod KlUiK. Sal- irypnid. Ofllcorrt of tlio coin puny, lion. Goo. I. Curr, Hon. A. U. (Juni|iiiiw, Hpfl. l ?,?fl;. Dubxoii, \V. L. lloed, J. VI. Lobb, ^,, 1 iMui^Vi 1 \ 3 rN r i!fii.45? Kffi DVliK CO., ixmfllolmw, I»wu. WELL MACHINERY .llhiBtrntwl ciitnloKiio uliowinij WM AtroflSUrt. HOOK CHILLS, IIVUUATMO AND .TUTTING aiAOUlNl'JlV, utc. WKNT VHKK. Huvo hoeu tested and ttll warranted, w. M,:THOMPSOH GO., HuccoiHiri loRlnuxf»yKii»ln«& >™« W SIOUX CITY, IOWA. 25c, Will keep a Doctor out ol' the house half a year..... Tin; l*'iiuitl.Y Siiri.giniril IM ivnrmnl.i.-il to hruak a Colfl. Fuvt-r, lutlilini^a. IH.-H"! nn in tf ol' I'liiMiinotilixot- Kliuiliuu- tlsnilnS.1 lionra. Kafuroi- liH'iuiU. CorrohoraUvofitate- iin-iiiii nl i-iiiliii-ni pi-opli- with U. Thn lai'Knut sale ever II-MU-.VII. For j-iiiir viwt. (iniiki-l.. CIIID liottlo jirovontii M!.'i uolilH iiflui- tixiioHiiv. Wrap a, i|ini.i't«i' In ()ur«i- anil mull Iml "iirrl-l;. I. 'llmmiimiii, >l. I)., 1DOU M.HMivy.Bl. .'•i-llin. Mo.. «» lli.'vrrly tit., ll'islon, U< W. ll'dwy, N. Y. . c'lithla. 0. S. iiiluidiu-il. 'llin-l. ami i-lli'iilii'M. Kniul for Dflco. \VEL;KS SCALE WORKS, BUHI'ALO, N. Y. MOKI'HINt and WHISKY 1 HABITS. lIDMKOIilcK. Hook l-'HKI-i. UK. J. C. Hill 1'M.IN, UnliiillalllilK., Cllll.'iliO, 11,1,. L. ! StarToliaeco is the liiading l>rand of \ho worlil, because it is tho best. Dod will Rive every Daniel a uhanue to go into the lion'uduu.— llam'ii lloru olil (iiik- Tr>- It. la tlir nlilpf.1 anil bra.t. It will Iimil: ii|i a Uiaiiuii)'ll>lii»ulyf> It Isuhvayiuvlliiblit. this muu fcr <l to Mini8ter--AVill you take better or for worse ! Bride-How do I know? am marrying hiiu for. to flndjcmt. Write for the 244 PAG? ILLUSTRATED A S.-ii'c Sl.«ntl. „.„ L'imidily—''You arc iiure this hoi-so is perfectly sai'e -thi-ve is no dancer of his running away?" Liveryman--''N<>, indeed, ma'am! •Why we cull him 'Lord Kelson.'" Mrs Timidity--"Thut is n very funny name for « horse. \7hy do yon call iiimsoV" Liveryman—-''Because ^lie won lit rather die than run.' "—J'ulge. INMVUI' Of Vk'ol'-l*. The King of Hahomey knit his uvows and was at 110 pains to conceal liis anxiety. "Think yon the anmzous \vill obey when we give them the word?" he de- word "'answered thy chief of st.afi'who hud not dwelt witii women all these years for nothing. New York Jour- nai. Henry- Hci vuu take stock in thnl yarn? AVliy, ( \\uul(Ju't believe it it' 1 told it myself. Cowgato— AVell, in thct ciise ueilher would J, CANDY CATHARTIC CURE CONSTIPATION AN OPEN LETTER To MOTHERS. The vote in Wprcebter, Mass. . at way OiK«rettps. SO tor 5 cts. Would Wm«. Some timeaBJ the (Jraild Junotiou Canal at Berkiia-Jipbtoad. Lnglaucl, upon which large quantities of poriBh- nlila freiKlit ai'o couveyoil to the Loudon mSets, was MottoJ for twonty- six hours beoanso two boats got into the lock at the same time, and neither one would back out. Movo than fifty blocked before tho wnal compelled one ot tho oup- taina to give in. AJi*srs. RltodMS, Hammond. . Farrur, of Johannesburg fame, uro tnid to be jointly worth $1.00,000,000. __ Tha Chaninlain Cutlery Co.. of Burling-. ton, Vt., makers of the "True Vermonter" Ua/ors aud Knives, whoso advertisement appears in tills paper are a reliable couuern nuil will gladly send their catalogue free on application. __ _ _ AUnit 2,000,000 canary birds are annunl- ly bred in Germany and sold for »i,000,000. I'ii-o's Cure for Consumption lias been n Gort-sHiid to me— Win. B. McClellan, Chester, Florida, Sept. 17. ISttii^ New York has (i Houiieholil Ec-ononiic Ansociatiou, which is devoted to the betterment of tho homo and domestic service. TO CUKK~A~CoZi«"jN OSI3 WAV. Take Tvixutlvo Hroino Quinine Tablets. All Pni!?t'isl» refund tlio money if it fails to cure. !!5o "Tommy," said the teiM-.hor. "what is meant by nutritious food?" '-fiomisthiug that ain't got no taste to .it," said Tommy- Ask your grocer for Tone Bros.' Arabian Hleuded Coffee, u delightful drink. In i-pouiid t-uii» onlv. The Dostou aud Maine Railroad has been ovt'i'biv yoaiMU chaneius the color of ith ears, which number 1,330. mi. n Pi-enc cruiser Joauuo d'Aro is atel to have cost about ^4,000,- ot'vhioh perhaps $2,000,000 wa.« » ilij B palii. cures vlwl oollo. 85 cents u liottlw. '•Nothing is saoretl to these pvofosbionui jol.ers." "OU. yes, tib' old joket,." Halt u man's wibdom goes with his courage.— -liuiersou. "PITCHER'S OA^TORIA," AS OUXt TKAUB -MARK. J DR. SAMUEL PITCHER, of By'annis, Massachusetts, was the originator of "PITCHER'S CAgTORIA,"^ same that has borne and docs now - ^^ SjrSj-t-/-"" on> CVer ' J bear the fao-similc signature of ^-a^yfT^c^^ wrapper. This is the original "PITCHER'S CASTOB'IA," which has been used -in the homes of the mothers of America for over thirty years. LOOK CAREFULLY at the ivrappcr and see that it is tlie kind you hfive always boivght x^T j^rf-/--^ ° >l th& 'a^~d~has the signature o f t6a£rtT7&6&>M wrapper. .'Yb one has authority from me to use my name except The Centaur Company of which Chas. ff, Fletcher is Present . /> ^} t . j March S, 1807: Q&*~^SS/****~r***I>* Do Not Be Deceived, Do not endanger the life of your child b}' accepting a cheap substitute \vhichsomedruggistJiiayoflTer you (because he makes "a -few more pennies on it), the ingredients of which even he does not know. "The Kind You Have Always Bought" BEARS THE FAC-SIMIUE oiQNATUBF- OF i Leave Omaha any Thursday afternoon at 4:35—in a clean, comfortable, not crowded tourist sleeper—and you reach San Francisco Sunday evening, Los Angeles Monday noon. No transfers—car goes right through. Uniformed Pullman pQrtpr.!*nd.'fi$B8r»- cnced excursion conductor relieve you of all bother, JSYKUYTJUNfi provided. Ticket* J-M>. Hoitlm (big enough for two) $T>. Write {or folder giving full iut'oraualiou. J. FranciB, beueral 1'af.scnger Agent, Oinulm, Neb, Insist on Having The Kind That Never Failed Yoiv Tho misery of!t Is awful, USE ST. JACOBS Oit SCIATICA

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