Pittsburgh Post-Gazette from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania • Page 39

PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1 1, 1997 D-5 celebrations After courtshiD, relaxing shouldn't excuse rudeness Out of tragedy, a common bond MISS MANNERS Accident to tie knot i ilL. i ur "i By Judith Martin The way to keep romance alive, according to the conventional wisdom, is to practice the etiquette of courtship at home. Fill every day with imaginative treats and calls and notes to say "I love you." Miss Manners supposes this is all very well for those who have no objection to that sort of thing. But there are sensible people for whom endless courtship would take the fun out of settling down. They can be perfectly devoted to their mates without being able to face a daily barrage of romantic surprises.

They consider part of the joy of marriage to be a sense of relief at never again having to play emotional guessing games. In spite of her affection for gallantry in general and Valentine's Day in particular, Miss Manners sympathizes. Having one's ear nibbled while one is trying to work, or being kidnapped for an exciting outing when one was looking forward to taking off one's shoes, is more of a nuisance than a pleasure. But in defending such people against the world's dreariest charge don't really love Miss Manners takes a risk. Many who are eager to drop courtship etiquette never take up any other kind.

They think that being on their very best behavior during courtship is the only etiquette that couples practice, and consider that after a courtship's successful conclusion, no etiquette is necessary. In other words, they feel justified in being rude at home. They don't call it rudeness; they call it relaxation. But what they mean is abandoning etiquette. Their justification is that what they do at home does not concern society at large, which is true as far as it goes.

But they skip the question of whether it concerns anybody else at home. This is a fatal idea. While a household can establish whatever manners it wants within its own domain, it is a poor idea to Robin RombachPost-Gazette By Bill Steigerwald Post-Gazette Staff Writer Even in a crowded church, it's easy to spot them. They're the ones in back, sitting shoulder to shoulder, trading whispers, holding hands, looking at each other the way couples in love do when their wedding is mere weeks away. Maryann Santelli and Carl Stanko are regulars at the 11 a.m.

Mass at St. Louise de Marillac, where they will be married March 1. Usually they sit near the altar, but this Sunday they arrived late and had to park their wheelchairs in the aisle near an outside door. Santelli, 36, and Stanko, 42, are a couple who have many things in common besides their lively personalities, their constant joke-slinging and their electric wheelchairs. Both suffered severe head injuries and nearly died after they were hit by cars Santelli on Mount Washington in 1968 when she was 7, Stanko in 1979 in his native Beaver County when he was 24.

Both underwent many years of rehabilitation before they met eight years ago in independent living classes at United Cerebral Palsy's Oakland office. And both are raring to get married. "No one can talk us out of it," Santelli said with a big grin after Mass. "I'm getting the best guy in the world." "We're all set," agreed Stanko, who was a truck driver when he was struck by the car that put him in a coma for five months. Stanko and Santelli, who lives TO PLACE AN AD TOLL FREE: 1-800-242-1692 EXT.

1238 won't drink up all the coffee." Have you celebrated a joyous event in an unusual way? Gotten engaged while climbing Everest married canoeing down the Ohio, for example? If so, drop us a line (or drop the dime on a friend) and we'll consider featuring your story in this space above our Celebrations package, which runs every Tuesday. Send your stories to: Mark Murphy, Features Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 34 Blvd. of the Allies, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222. These stories do not replace the classified announcements in Celebrations, so for information about how to use that space, call 263-1236.

PERSONAL GREETINGS BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS 71 ANNIVERSARIES WEDDINGS stray far from the general standard. (Picking up bones and gnawing on them perhaps; picking up spaghetti no.) People who get used to behavior that is unacceptable, to society have a hard time remembering to practice it out there. But people who get used to behavior that is unattractive to their What is needed to replace courtship etiquette is household etiquette. spouses, may soon find themselves out there. What is needed to replace or augment courtship etiquette is household etiquette.

When there is a conflict in negotiating household rules, whatever is nearest to the outside standarc prevails (you can't eat with abandor if it disgusts others at the table) anc whatever is intrusive (noise, smoke strewing things all over the place; must yield to objections. But here comes the good par! after settling that sort ot conflict nobody should have to argue; tc justify whims and preferences.) If happily ever after means anything, it means living with someoni who knows and indulges your favor ite little routines which chair yoi claim, in what order you read th newspaper, how often you talk oi the telephone without askin; whether they are right or evei reasonable. TO PLACE AN AD 263-1236 TOLL FREE: 1-800-242-1692: EXT.1236 GREETINGS MARINO, EDITH K. Edith K. Marino of Bloomfie! celebrated her 90th birthday Feb.

A dinner party with family frienc was held at Lombardozzi Restau ant. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER BOURf FRAN I HAPPY 70TH BIRTHDAY! To Our Dad And PapPap Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday Dear PapPap We all LOVE you! JESSICA LYNN RAMSKI HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY on Feb. De 8th. Love Aunt J. SCOTT, 1 LEAH ELIZABETH Congratulations to Leah, daugh ter of Larry and Jessica Scott, fc receiving the 'Outstanding Citize Award' at Word of God School i Swissvale.

Leah is 5 yrs. old and i Terri Culligan's kindergarten clasc BIRTH CHODOS, GRANT Displaying a newsperson's sens' of timing, Grant Chodos came jnl the world Sunday at 7:50 p.m., moi than enough time to make the fir: edition and just in time to share birthday with dad, Ethan. Of course the 8 lb. 7 brown-haired beau' also displayed an adperson's puci ish sense of humor, arriving 4 week before mom, Barbara assistar advertising director at the Pos' Gazette or dad expected him to. 1 seems the North Side family i blessed with a flair for the dramati Grant's older brother Dane we born just after the 1994 Californi earthquake, before the Chodos fan ily left behind sun and sand fc clouds and mud.

One Has Announced Marriages-" Greater Ceremony Than A FINE STATIONERY 3. WWW 2L Sfti X. Maryann Santelli and Carl Stanko with her parents in Upper St. Clair, see each other as much as possible. That comes out to about four times a week, thanks to PAT Transit and Access, the county's transportation service.

They also talk on the phone every day "And all day long, starting at 6 in the morning," says Santelli's mother, Grace, who is the obvious genetic source of her daughter's jolly nature. Santelli, who spends so much time talking with her future husband that she has her own phone line, has worked for her parents' marketing company, and hopes to land a secretarial job at a local school district. "I'm not computer illiterate like some people are," she says with a WEDDINGS GALLAGHER-MATTHEWS A beautiful Christmas wedding on Dec. 28, 1996, united Kelly Gallagher and Michael Matthews in marriage. The wedding was held at St.

Anselm Church in Swissvale and a reception followed the ceremony at the Edgewood Club. Honor attendants were Tricia Gallagher, sister of the bride, and Glenn Graham, friend of the groom. Parents of the bride and groom are Bob and Maura Gallagher of Swisshelm Park and Jim and Pat Matthews of Point Breeze. After a wedding trip to the Poconos, the couple will reside in Wilmerding. PALMER-PROVIANO Stacey Marie Palmer and Thomas Paul Proviano were married Nov.

9 in Duquesne University's Chapel. Officiating was Rev. Richard Jones, chaplain at Mercy Hospital. The reception was at Embassy Suites Hotel. Parents are David and Trudy Palmer of Upper St.

Clair and Ruffo and Veronica Proviano of Finleyville. Honor attendants were T.J. Palmer, sister of the bride, and Michael Proviano, brother of the groom. The couple honeymooned in Jamaica. They reside in the North Hills.

ENGAGEMENTS to look forward to their March 1 nuptials. twinkle in her eye and a subtle glance to her right. "I think she was picking on me," Stanko says with a knowing laugh. Laughing is something Stanko has learned to do a lot of since his accident. "Life is really funny," he said.

"If you can't make a joke out of it, forget it." The Stankos-to-be will honeymoon for a week in Florida at Walt Disney World. Santelli's sister Jonalyn and her boyfriend Ryan will accompany them. After that, they'll set up house in Carnegie, a living arrangement that Santelli's mother Grace is confident will work out fine. "No one wants her to move out," Grace said, "but I'll be able to sleep till noon. And Maryann WEDDINGS DUGAN-PARRISH Amy Louise Dugan and Matthew James Parrish were married Nov.

30, 1996 in Memphis, Tenn. Parents of the couple are Mr. Mrs. James R. Dugan of Brighton Heights, Mrs.

Nelda Boyce, and Mr. Marshall Parrish both of Mississippi. Honor attendants: Nancy Dugan, sister of the bride, and Mark Armour, friend of the groom. The couple honeymooned in New Orleans, La. and are now residing in Memphis.

ENGAGEMENTS BADSTIBNER-RAPP Thomas C. and Joan Badstibner of Upper St. Clair are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter M. Kathleen to Regis Rapp, son of Helen Rapp of Port Vue and the late Walter Rapp. Kathleen is employed at Mellon Bank as a human resource consultant and Regis is employed by Fiserv as vice president.

A May 1997 wedding is planned at Holy Child Church. GR1MM-SMELTZER Heidi Cathleen Grimm and Todd Smeltzer announce their engagement. Parents of the bride are Joseph and Shirley Grimm of Wilkinsburg. Parents of the groom are Donald and Rose Smeltzer of Turtle Creek. A May 17 wedding is planned.

jmlJ or li ji LiIJ WEDDINGS PRATT-KOZLOWSKI Eden Pratt and Richard Kozlowski were united in. marriage on September 28, 1996 at Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Atlanta, Ga. The bride-elect is the daughter of George and Sharon Pratt of States-boro, Ga. Richard is the son of Lorraine and the late Richard Kozlowski of McCandless, and the grandson of Barbara Bubash, the late Joseph Bubash, and Jane and Stanley Kozlowski. Eden is a graduate of the University of Georgia and the Portfolio Center Art School.

Richard attended the University of Pgh. The couple is residing in Atlanta after a honeymoon in Hawaii. if PERSONAL HUTCHINSON, BESS DEAN Bess Dean Hutchinson, a native Pittsburgher, will be 100 yrs. old on Feb. 14.

Bess now resides in Bristol Village, a retirement center in Ohio. Her children: Bob of San Marcos, Eleanor Eisenbarth of Gib-sonia, and Lois, the wife of the late Joseph along with 11 grandchildren and 28 great-grandchildren wish her: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOROTHY LUKITSCH HAPPY WE LOVE YOU. Carol Dana GO KO GO KO, Lady Eagles' Good luck in the playoffs! Charles and Rose Botta of Aspin-wall celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with family and friends at a dinner reception held by their children: Dr. Samuel Botta; Attorney Frank Botta; Charlene, Bonita and Charles Jr. The couple renewed their marriage vows at St.

Scholas-tica Church which were originally made on Feb. 1, 1947. They are grandparents of Rebecca, Kimberly and Kelly. Mr. Botta is retired from his home remodeling business and Mrs.

Botta is retired from J.C. Penney catalog in the Waterworks. ANNIVERSARIES CIROCCO, CARMELJ.ANDANNM. Carmel J. and Ann M.

Cirocco of North Side celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They were married Feb. 8, 1947 in Pittsburgh. They have 5 children: Patricia Cullin-ane, Monica Dugan, Laurita Bergner, Julie Cirocco and Alex Cirocco. They also have 9 grandchildren.

They will celebrate their second honeymoon with a trip to Las Vegas. Mr. Mrs. Cirocco both retired from the City of Pittsburgh, Carmel worked in the Bureau of Building inspection, and Ann was a school crossing guard. BOTTA, CHARLES AND ROSE i lhf.

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