The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on December 2, 1896 · Page 3
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 3

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, December 2, 1896
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f^-f^'i^l'Mif £ :3 ^5,f^- ^?t^^|^^^!r^ l^i'f.? , '< T \" >-• ""'"" *, '"i/^""^; "" " '»-l- ff -'7'' i -' * =" v 's4-V;"^ - * "" \ * ' I'PI'hli lHftflNs 4 M*O3yA. t 10W A \\ Kim MMlA fr JXSJ^S^&A:^^.. 1 '^f^jflfSS ffi&y debits ft pf 65e'ct to* &Scefid the Mftt* fer>orit 6f to efoSs Afflel t J6nft 66ft- Idered Alan's prBposal, afid, Iffefitly afing, adcepted It. AS h6 «fAlfefrd :6me thd thoughts of this tJteufrfon ut of th§ &af6 places o! Hf6 iftto the iW aftd afdttou&, Stirred and straggled in his itoaglhatlon with the CttAPTfiR f, j OttN V ARE Y NICHOLSON was stupid; yet stupider fiien than he are now sprawling in parliament, and lauding- themselves as the authbrs of their 1 own distinction. He was of a fat habit, even from boyhood, and in- Alined to a cheerful attd cursory read- Ing of the face of life, and possible this attitude of mind was the original .ause of his misfortunes. Beyond this hint philosophy is silent on his ireer, and superstition steps in with ithe more ready explanation that he ' detested of the gods. His father—that iron gentleman— had long ago enthroned himself oft the |leights of the Disruption Principles, /hat these are (and in spite of.their rim name they are quite innocent) io array of terms would render think- ibletothe merely English intelligence, Ijtmt to the Scot they often prove unctu- fpUBly nourishing, and Mr. Nicholson "found in them the milk of lions. About |the period when the churches convene fat Edinburgh in their annual assemblies he was to be seen descending the lound in the company of divers red- fheaded clergymen ; these voluble, he only contributed oracular nods, brief legatives, and the austere spectacle ot tils stretched upper lip. The names af Candlish and Begg were frequent n these interviews.aTirl occasionally the talk ran on the Residuary Establish- dent and the doings of one Lee. A btranger to the tight little theological dngdom of'Scotland might have lis- |ened and gathered literally nothing, bid Mr. Nicholson (who was not a lull man) knew this, and raged at it. le knew there was a vast world out- ide, to. whom Disruption Principles Syere as the clatter of tree-top apes; |he paper brought him chill whiffs from ft; he had met Englishmen who had •asked lightly if he did not belong to |the Church of Scotland, and then had ffailed to be much interested by his feluciclation of that nice point; it was fan evil, wild, rebellious world, lying Isunk in dozenedness, for nothing short |of a _Scot's word will point this Scots|man's feelings. And when he entred i; into his own house in Randolph Cres- jcent (south side), and shut the door be! hind him, his heart swelled 'with se- 'curity. Here,'at least, was a citadel impregnable by right-hand defections or left-hand extremes. Here was a family where prayers came at the same hour, where the Sabbath literature was unimpeachably selected, where the. guest who should have leaned to any false opinion was instantly set clown, and over which there reigned all the week, and grew denser on Sundays, a silence that was agreeable to his ear, and a gloom that he found comfortable. Mrs. Nicholson had died about thirty, and left him with three children, a daughter two years, and a son about, eight years younger than John; and John himself, the unlucky bearer of a name infamous in English history.The daughter, Maria, was a good girl—dutiful, pious, dull, but so easily startled that to speak to her was quite a perilous enterprise. "I don't think I care to talk about that, if you please," she would say, and strike the boldest speechless by her unmistakable pain; this upon all topics—dress, pleasure, morality, politics, in which the formula was changed to "my papa thinks otherwise," and even religion, unless it was approached with a particular whining tone of voice. Alexander, the younger brother, was sickly, clever, fond of books and drawing, and full of satirical remarks, In the midst of these imagine that natural, clumsy, unintelligent and mirthful animal, John; mighty 'well-behaved in comparison with other lads, although not up to the mark of the house in Randolph Crescent; full of a sort of blundering affection, full of caresses which were never very warmly received; full of sudden and loud laughter which rang fj& out in that still house like curses, Mr. "'Nicholson himself had a great fund | of humor, of the Scots order—intellectual, turning on the observation of | J men; his own character, for instance —if he could have seen it in another-— would have been a.rare feast to him; but his son's empty guffaws over a •broken plate, empty, almost lighthearted remarks, struck him with pain as the indices of a weak mind. Outside the family John had early, • attached himself (much as a dog may follow a marquis) to the steps of Alan Houston, a lad about a year older than' himself, idle, a trifle wild, the heir to a good estate which was still In the hands of a rigorous trustee, and so royally content with himself that he took John's devotion as a thing of course. The intimacy was gall to Mr. Nicholson; it took l»is son from the house, and he was a jealous parent; it fce.pt him from the office, and he w^s a martinet; lastly, Mr. Nicholson was ambitious for his family (in which and 'the Disruption Principles be entirely lived), a^4 lie hated to. see a son of hie second flcUUP to a.u idler. hesitation he qrderej} that ft'len.<jsbjp should cease-rap t wfts Saturday; and except that he had a matter of four hundred pounds in his pocket Which it was hia duty to hand over to the British Linen Company's Bank, he had the whole afternoon at his disposal. He went by Prince's street enjoying the mild sunshine, and the little thrill of easterly wind that tossed the flags along the terrace of palaces, and tumbled the green trees in the garden. The band *as playing down in the valley under the castle; ahd when it came to the turn of the pipers he heard their wild sounds with a stirring of the blood. Something distantly martial woke in him; and he thought of Miss Mackenzie, whom he was to meet that day r.t dinner. Now, it is undeniable that he should have gone directly to the bank, but right in the way stood the billiard room of the hotel where Alan was almost certain to be found; and the temptation proved too strong. He entered the billiard room and was instantly greeted by his friend, cue in hand. "Nicholson," said he, "I want you to lend me a pound or two till Monday." "You've come to the right shop, haven't you?" returned John. "I have twopence." "Nonsense," said Alan. "You can get some. Go and borrow at. your tailor's; they all do it. Or I'll tell you what; pop your watch." "Oh, yes. I dare say," said John. And how about my father?" "How is he to know? He doesn't wind it up for you at night, does he?" Inquired Alan, at which John guffawed. "No, seriously; I am in a fix,". continued the tempter. "I have lost some money to a man here. I'll give it you to-night, and you can get the heirloom out again on Monday. Come; it's a small service, after all. I would do a good deal more for you." Whereupon John went forth, anil pawned his gold watch under the assumed name of John Froggs, 85 Pleasance. But the nervousness that assailed him at the door of that inglorious haunt— a pawnshop— and the effort necessary to invent the pseudonym (which, somehow, seemed to him a necessary part of the procedure), had taken more time than he imagined; and when he returned to the billiard room with the spoils flie bank had already closed its doors. This was a shrewd knock. "A piece of business had been neglected." He heard these words in his father's trenchant voice, and trembled, and then dodged the thought. After all, who was to know? He must carry foui hundred pounds about with him till Monday, when the neglect could be surreptitiously repaired; and meanwhile he was free to pass the afternoon on the encircling divan of the billiard room, smoking his pipe, sipping a pint of ale, and enjoying to the mast-head the modest pleasures of admiration. None can admire like a young man. Of all youth's passions and pleasures, this is the most common and least alloyed; and every graceful reach, every easy, stand-off attitude of waiting; ay, and down to his shirt-sleeves and wrist- links, were seen by John through a luxurious glory. He valued himself by the possession of that royal friend hugged himself upon the thought, and swam in warm azure; his own defects like vanquished difficulties, becoming things on which to plume himself. Only when he thought of Miss Mackenzie there fell upon his mind a shadow of regret; that young lady was -worth} of better things than plain John Nicholson, still known among schoolmates by the derisive name of "Fatty"; ant be felt if he could chalk a cue or stanc at ease with such a careless grace a Alan ho could approach the object of his sentiments with a less crushing sense of inferiority, Before they pa'rted Alan mado a proposal that was startling in the ex- ;rerne. He would be at Colette's that night about twelve, he said. Why woulc not John come there and get the money? To go to Colette's was to see life, indeed, it was wrong; it was against the laws, it partook, in a very dingy manner, of adventure. Were i [mown, it was the sort of exploit tha disconsidered a young man for gooc with the more serious classes, but gave him a standing with the riotous. Am yet Colette's was not a hell; it could no come, without vaulting hyperbole, tin der the rubric of a gilded saloon; and if it was a sin to go there the sin was merely local and municipal. Colette (whose name I do not know how to spell, for I was never in epistolary com munication with that hospitable out law) was simply an unlicensed publi can, who gave suppers after eleven a night, the Edinburgh hour of closing If you belonged to a club you could ge a much better supper at the same hou: and lose not a jot in public esteem, Bu if you lacked that qualification, ant were an hungered, or inclined toward com'ivality at unlawful hours, Colette' was your pnly port. You were verj ill-supplied. The company was not re milted from the Senate or the church though the bar was very well represent eel on the only occasion pn which flew in the face of my country's laws and, taking my reputation, in my hand penetrated into that grlrn sup,pej- house Colette's frequenters., thrJUJnglj 1 etf ^tyVUfW "W. § « fcju^-JniflKWi 1 M||i?'S'-e»f. i'fl,lifi-!wafi ! .atuclvinff the WaeiifiS £i wo.-h,an<}ecl th'e 'floflp,* .were pertepg f|yw}^'epeps. was, ia'»a wsw ft Y ft BWftet'*tiTW9 ff itf f Miss Mackenzie— incoflgfttoiiS ftntt •ct kindred thought^ fof did not each mply unusual tightening 6f th8 pegs )f resolution? did hot each woo hitt brth and warn him back again intt imself? Between these two considerations, at east, he Was more than Usually moved; nd wheh he got to Randolph Crescent e quite forgot the potinda n his pocket of his greatcoat, hutlg AP the coat, with its rich freight, 'upon hia particular pin of the hat'Stand, n the very action sealed his doom. •TO na ANIMAL INSANITY. tTorsej Mnvn Been tthotvn to Go Mart on th« ItntttAflMcl. The difficulty or the impossibility of denning insanity makes the question of whether or not animals become insane )y no means easy to answer. Insanity n the humnn subject, it is supposed )y some, has no analogue in tho lower animals. Yet many causes will lead to the permanent loss of all self-con- rol. Cattle driven from the country hrough the crowded thoroughfares of a town will, under the influence of this sttdden change of condition, work themselves into a state of .excitement and fury which must at least be ctosc- y allied to madness. Horses have been cnown to go mad in the midst of tho jewlldering scenes of a battlefield. At 3alaklava an Arabian horse turned upon its attendant, who happened to be drawing water, seized him in its mouth, Lhrew him to the ground and then kneeling upon him attacked him like an infuriated dog. Before the terror could be subdued it had bitten off another soldier's finger and seriously wounded the army veterinarian. Another instance is related of a docile horse, which one hot summer day went mad. Everything that 'came within is reach it seized in its teeth and shock like a terrier would a rat. It raided the pigsties and threw the inmates one after another into the air. Afterwards it almost killed its own master,.after maiming for life the horseslroer who was called in. This, at least, must have been a case of insanity. The cause of such insanity is often to be found in congenital malformation of the bones of the head. Prof. Romanes even goos so far as to prove, by what appears to be incontestable evidence, that animals, cats, dogs and monkeys, have been observed to have delusions very similar to those of insane people. «gjm . j»«n».>.^J«u.r- WAV, lie* &fi The maii whdi goes t<J ftn attcUefc Sfr ber Is bften t&mpted tfi purchase tnlfigl he does ttbt want aid cafiftbt atfofd tt buy. But such temptaii&fi IS aHttcb stronger when it eet&es t8 titie wfto fats been imbibing evef freelfr, f>afUe«laflj» he Is oil A speculative natflfe. Yet there afo a' tew who tottfe sufficient wit to get them out 6f difficulties bi this character, eVen when their brains are more or less befuddled. An amusing occurrence took place at ah auction In ohe tif the rural towns of Pennsylvania, where a house, barh and fafito were offered for sale. Farmers eahie from all tho 8uf?ottndini>countfy^wlfcH ft view df making a day of it ftttd some bf them imbibed too tmwh corn jttic« in honor of the occasion. In the barn were stored between 5.000 and 3,000 weight of hay— prime timothy— on which the bidding started at foitr cents 'attd gradually rose a quarter of a cent at a time, until it neared the market value of 7^ or 8 cents per pound. The auctioneer was annoyed by the reck^ less bidding of a typical old hayseed who was so drunk that he could hardly stand. He was determined to buy that hay, regardless of its cost, and when the last sober bidder feebly cried "8 cents" he shouted "ten!" Of course nobody would go higher than that and the farmers chuckled to think how their neighbor was to be taken in, "Do you mean to pay cash for this hay?" asked the auctioneer, who began to believe he had a good thing. "Well, I reckon," replied the inebriated hayseed, 'And how many hundredweight are you going to take?" "Duhno as I keer 'bout takin' a hundredweight," said the purchaser; "you might gimme 'bout one pound." What the auctioneer said will long be remembered by the farm- , Alfred", Mame, fllfttleli Itl traffiji fit Baking mmt feiWifa. fhefe fife' fjrololy fiSBfe tiHtfWft M Shifta thafi any etfief fcotatf? lit the World. A Potllafid" (Me,5 baUk 6l6fk Wefil oil guMing tflp thS otte dajr, and Sue* ceed^d iti Shooting 6& the fbi-ward leg of4b6fro*6d d&g, The Afablc" vernacular furnishes a singular illuStrnHofi of the popularity &f war in names fof ft has over flfti- fcb- tfte In %Stn . ahd talk- '- /' . '. , . „.' C* hear! fiFSl giteg, ^b&t ttffl hand bestows IS n§i a gift, :/ ,. ? ^4.> (3dd*§ gfice is fes fist!6&- bsf tmS. «ftf ;;•' ft6ed« afi the Uif We breltnS; '<>. '^"' fiien'l try t6 be afi ftsflfs{aftt''lj6diti!;- keeper td the recording angel, ; >,,;-. The revival must begin ifl the tntf til f '. the chtiroh that tontains the JUlftJt, -\ 4 ers of Montgomery county.- phia Record. -Phlladel- Ulniilmnts at Worlc. Most persons have at one time or another seen the trained elephants in the circus ride the tricycle, sit on a chair, and do other tricks of that sort; but there is something forced about tho whole thing, and the spectator feels that if it were not for the ropes and NEW GUNS FOR THE GERMANS I'hc Army Camp Unit Somo IntoroHthiK KxpurlmentH. The new German camp at Malmedy, ^lose to the Belgian frontier, has at- .racted special attention owing to the experiments lately carried on there, says Revue du Cercle Militalre. The object of the experiments was to try •.he effect on field fortifications of the lew guns with which the German "foot u-tillery" has lately been equipped. The guns in question are six-inch lowitzer guns and eight and one-quar- .er-inch mortars. It is intended to itilize some of these guns in the at- ..ack and defense of positions, in which •espect they would play a considerable •ole, seeing that the defense nowa- lays disposes of better means of resist- •ince than formerly. The obstacles in 'ront of the line of defense will be in- ireased, natural points of vantage will, o a greater extent, be utilized and im- .iroved upon by means of portable ar- nor, screens built up with heavy railway rails, etc., shelters will be pro- /ided, against which ordinary field ar- •.illery will be powerless, but they will lot resist the heavy projectiles thrown #ith a very high trajectory from these •;uns. The object of the trials in ques- Lydla G. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Will euro tho worst forms of female complaints, nil ovarian troubles, inflammation nnd ttlceration, falling and displacements of tho womb, nnd consequent spinal weakness, and is peculiarly adapted to tho change of life. Every timo it will euro Backache. It has cured more, cases of leucor- rlicoa by removing tho cause, than any remedy tho world has over known; it is almost infallible in such cases. It dissolves and expels tiimors from tho uterus in an early stage of development, and checks any tendency to cancerous humors. Lydla E. Pinkham's Liver Pills work in unison with the Compound, and aro a sure cure for constipation and sick headache. Mrs. rihlclmm'a Sanative Wash is of great '.value for local application. Ifi the atrrleulttiF&i iSfre, fe*ai nil other states ia the Variety* bf its products. Cotton, corn, nad the, cereals grow a«d itfe raised la every"" section of the state, atid iB the 1 deflWal and southern portions sugar Bane 'ttfetl sorghum cttnc nro profitably cultlvatiedY On the gulf coast two or three cropsdi^ Vegetables ai'e Raised each yeaft,. Berries are shipped six weeks itt ' advance of the home crbp itt the north. Pears, peaches, plums, oranges')' &8&t olives, and riiits nil grow abundantly and can "be marketed from two to three weelcs in advande of the California crops. Large quantities of rice aro now grown. If tho land seeker, tho home seeker, nnd the settler desires to secure n farm larger than tho one he occupies, on vastly more reasonable terms; if lie wants more land to Cultivate, a greater variety of crops to harvest, with proportionately increased remuneration, at a less outlay for cost of production; 'if he want a an earlier season, with correspond'jg'ly higher prices; if he wants milder winters, till the year pas- 'turtige for liis stock, improved health^'Increased bodily comforts, and wealth and prosperity he should go to Texas. Send for pamphlet descriptive of the resources of this great state (mailed free). Low rato homo seekers' excursions via the Missouri, Kansas & Texas railway on Tuesday, November 17th, December 1st and 15th, 1890. U. A. Cherrier, Northern Passenger Agent, 310 Marquetto Building, Chicago, 111. "Born into life 1 Man grows Forth from his parents' Btem, 0 Arid bienclB tliolr bloods ns those .Of theirs aro blout ill them," -^ the tents _ and the guards, the poor , -jon was to determine the best mode o! .iso of these guns, more especially the jiortars, against fortifications of an malogous nature to the so-called forts 1'arret protecting a great part of the beast would make a clean bolt. Out in Rangoon, at the timber mills, however, the elephant is really of great service to man. He carries the great planks from place to place and stacks' them up with such dexterity as to not only dispense with an engine and cars, but much manual labor besides. With only a native "mahout" perched upon his back to guide him, the elephant will lend a hand in laying railways, building houses or any mortal thing after a little instruction. When the bell rings they know the day's work is finished, and they simply refuse to do another turn. Mahouts have paid the penalty of trying to make them work "after hours" with their lives. Tlio Weeping- Troes, The weeping tree of the Canary Islands is one of the wonders of plant life. It is of the laurel family, and •rains clown a copious shower of, water drops from its tufted foliage, The water is often collected at the foot of tho tree and forms a kind of pond, from which the inhabitants of the neighborhood can supply themselves with a beverage that is absolutely fresh and pure. The water comes out of the tree itself through innumerable pores situated ut the margin of the leaves. It issues from the plant as vapor during the day time, when the heat is sufficiently..groat-to preserve it in that condition, but in the evening, when the temperature has lowered very much, a considerable quantity of it is exuded in the form of liquid drops that collect near the edgpg of the leaves until these members sp bend down under their increasing weight as to pass, for them, the limit of the angle of repose, when the tears tumble off on the grqund below in a veritable shower. French frontier. At the same time sxperiments 'were also made with a view to determining the efficiency of Infantry fire by day and night. A. Shoop War, Nows was brought to Prlneville, Ore. recently that a band of sheep which was being driven through the forbidden country at Izee was surrounded by masked men, their herder held up and 217 head of sheep killed or wounded. Dlfl'iU'eut, ''Sir," aaid the citizen, "the car I rods home' on last night was so crowded that E e °Pl e > myself among them, had to hang on by their eyelids, BO to speak." The street railway magnate went oa writing. "So crowded, in fact, that the conduc» tor was unable to collect a.11 the fares." The magnate's pen dropped 'to tho flopr. "What wag the number of car?" he a,sked eagerly,™'ChipagQ PERSONALS. Sir Donald Smith, the wealthiest man 'n Canada, is a Scotsman, Mrae, Adelina Patti, during the course of her operatic career, faae earned $5,000,000, Daniel Campbell' and wlfo, of Walton county, Fla., are said to be respective- 'y 117 and 112 years old. Louis Marshall, of Versailles^ Ky., alaims to have the pistol with which Aaron Burr killed Alexander Hamilton. Mary Marks, colored, who resides ill |3renham, Tex,, was born in the West Indies in 1770, and is therefore 120 vears old. _ "TJiieen Victoria~'is'~rarely"" photographed standing on acount of her small stature. When sitting she gives che impression of being a fairly tall woman. Dr, Alice Bennett .is one of the first Women to makq a special study of in- mnity, and was the very first to occupy % practical chairmanship of a great institution. Ferdinand Brunetiero, editor of the Revue des Deux Mondes, of Paris, is to leliyer the Turnbull course of lectures in Johns Hopkins university during March and April. Jacob H. Schiff has given to the Columbia university $5,000, to be known is the students' loan fund. Under certain conditions' the money is to be •.oaned to students in need. The crown prince of Qermany, 1 who is now a military o,a4et, a.$ Ilo'n, ^g be- cpmi? such a proflclejit cyclist-th.at lie regularly, tpn^ auj. ',vij$ tjve ' SEVERAL. WEATHER SIGNS. Hoar frost is a sign of rain. Cold autumn, a short winter. Trees grow dark before a storm. If rats and mice be restless, rain. After a warm autumn a long winter. Expect fair weather from one night's Ice. A clear autumn brings a windy winter. - . . ' A fog in February Indicates a frost In May. Garden Spot of tlio South, Tho passenger department of the Louisville & Nashville 11. II.' has just issued'a hundred page book with the' above title. It is descriptive of there- sources and capabilities of the soil of the counties lying along this line in the states of Kentucky, Tonnesseo, Alabama, Southern Mississippi and Western Florida. It also contains a county map of tho above named states, and is well worthy ot a perusal of any one interested in the south. A copy will be seat to any address upon receipt of ten cents in silver or stamps, by 0. P. Atmore,. Gen. Pass. Agt., Louisville, Ky. Semi-monthly excursions south. Write for particulars. DcilfncSH Cannot Ilo Cured by local applications, as they cannot roach tho diseased portion o£ the ear. There Is only one way to cure deafness, and that Is by constitutional remedies. Deafness la caused hy an Inflamed condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachinn Tube. When this tubo Is inflamed you have a rumbling sound, or imperfect hearing, and when it Is entirely closed deafness Is the result, and unless the Inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to Ha normal condition, hearing will bo destroyed forever; nine cases out of ten are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an Inflamed condition of tho mucoua surfaces. We will give one Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot bo cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. F, J. CHENEY & CO,, Toledo, O, Sold by druggists, 75c. .Hall's Family Pills are the best. Bnntu Fo.Houto;—California Limited. Leaves Chicago 0 p. in. Wednesdaya and Saturdays, reaching Los Angeles in 73 hours and 8an Diego in 70J^ hours. Returns from California Mondays and Thursdays. Equipment of suburb vestibuled Pullman palace sleepers, buffet smoking car and dining car. Most luxurious service via any line, Another'express train, carry in gbotli palace and tourist sleepers, leaves Chicago'10:3!)p. in. daily, for Los Angeles, San Diego and San Francisco. Inquire of G. T. Nicholson, General Passenger Agent, Great Northern, Building, Chicago. Tho women are always'wondering.- will please tho -toon at meal time. W< know. Anything that is not on tho table - Arc You Going' to Florida? For rates, time cards nnd descriptive . matter for Florida and all points in the south and southeast, address the following agents of the populai' Hip Four Route; J. C. Tucker, General Northern Agent, or II. W. Sparks, Traveling* Passenger Agent. 234 Olarh St,, Chicago. .' It is a good government when thoso wlia aro near aro made happy and those wha are i'ar are attracted.—Coufncius. Homcseoliors' Kxcnrmons. Very low rates will bo made by the Missouri, Kansas & Texas railway on November 17th, "December 1st and 15th, to the south, For particulars apply to the nearest local agent, or address, H. A. Cherrier, N. P. A., 310 Marduette Bldg., Chicago, 111. St. Paul barbers are v \vorkiug for a law to provide for the licensing of barbers after an 'examination. Mrs. \VluHlo\v'H Hoot )U iig Syrup For c:litlJn;n luolliiiin, Roftons thoijmiiB, riulwciiiufliUH mtulon, ulluyu pnln, iCurutj \vlml coin'. '25 ccutB a Ijotllu, 149% jing &hft^kjiffl v l|,/'|< Wwtfftyl X& 'M^MMl y^j- gn^reil «iaa Jbeen'ifcostinK.'in Couldn't JCxolmngo Tlioni, Kltlier, "Do you know that Bnlgley is tlie father of twins?" " "Yes, I heard it last nifflit at the club, Did yoa hour what he said, about it?" "No, What?" "He said that they were the first dunli- jate. wedding, presents that Mrs. Buigley and he had received." Skeptical. "Do you believe in second sight?" inquired Teepee Tom. •' • "Not fur this part o' the country," re-r replied Derringer Dun, ( 'Yer wauter shoot ••he fust time ye squints over the barrel, er /or li'ble uotter gft a chance ter squeeze de trigger at all." _ SUo Nwirly Fainlod. A lady teacher in cue of the public 3ohools, in trying to explain the moumng of the word "slowly," illustrated ** by walking icroBs the floor. When she asked the class ,o tell how she walked she nearly fainted when a boy nt the foot of the class fthotited; "Bow-legged, ma'am." No Alliance I'oBBiblc. "But you love him?" "Yes." "Aud yet your father won't consent." '•Jle basu't been asked, but I know it is ooppless for Heury to ask him. Father waa a Yale man, and Henry's father was a flar yard. _ _ , ' "Well Bnltl. Miss Justout— What do you consider marriageable age? Outai Kuiglit— Anywhere between the seminary and tho cemetery, the Well Off, "Lofer has struck, it rich." "Has he?" "Yes, he's got a corner 04 the sidewalk." Patriotism .tliat leaves out Qocl has its noblest e,sprej3sipn,-T-Capen. This year's oyster crop will bo smaller than that of last year. TIio orlitliml anil ami FIICD, fold fiurua, iiov rc6'tv;t]i'Glyvoy|no> onumo. Curus Clmmwl UiuiilH u, U, (.!. Uliirk Ou., X, Huvou, ut, "You'll find a crown for every cross. You'll find a gain for every loss." Persons you meet every day, OF BRIGHT'S DISEASE or some trouble of the Wdneys, urinary or female organs* BE DONE? In such a seripvis condition y ou secure the best remedy yoq can. &)4 the market AT is only cap absolutely sure. cure fpr these frottbks, an4 that fe ';>.Vi-"-i !'i® *"<' !ff "i^Jp i^v^i i*' t.'.^fi'S

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