The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on November 11, 1896 · Page 9
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 9

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, November 11, 1896
Page 9
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IV2'."kija«.*^J-li'Li i jS".i, -i - v - S-'&£L*ii£ ff. .•" JOKBB* COfiSm; AL ANt* §fettetlB, -I-/J C'4^-' :A i*3'*.?-^iw ! ''fe What was tn«t?» ^SbesMd h6 WM every inch ft I aim." tltn* COttUflg Stalker £*<&!#& of 8ttiid*J SfefeeM At- ioglc. . Actor (to drftinatist)— How did you* fie* pl&y csftg on? ' fci-athattat (to actor)— th6 critics gtrtrS it •such ft toasting that in panned out « Ibt frost. Ootatiowea HERE'S A good tiine coining, the --wiseacres '• say, But it Isn't here yet, you know; "When ouf pockets Will bulge and our hearts be gay, But it isn't here yet, you know; t we sit up all night |ad daylight, |od time coming is just out of \ sight; hoping and hoping 'twill get , here all right, ft isn't here yet, you know. ansit's been promised us many ? a year, isn't here yet, you know; cables and trolleys still keep us in fear, i't here yet, you know. we sit up all night Sad daylight, i* nothing but standing room left ' in sight, fhold of a strap and hang on to m . it tight, |it isn't here yet, you know. lay come a time, when in going up (own, it isn't here yet, you know, fen will stand and the women will Bit down, lit isn't here yet, you know; |h we sit up all night oad daylight, Iwspaper hides every man from sight; |may come a time when they'll be more polite, |t isn't-here yet, you know. Bay the new woman is everywhere now, ifmaybe she's here, you know. oks like a man from her sole to her brow, |she isn't one yet, you know. gh we sit up all night groad daylight, Iks of strange subjects to ears polite. fre'd stand all the rest if she'd only not write, she isn't all there, you know. — F. E. Pratt. nj|jft. Btooldyn is lining i h Nc* Yotk. BoBtick— NatUi-ally, %h*n lifs tliere is Of fcufeh ah inf eriot qUMiity. Sabtn f* ftonte — OMlfornlrt t.lmtt«<]. Leaves Chicago 6 p. in. Wednesdays and Satufdays, reaching Los Angeles in 92 hours and San Diego in 70 K houts. Returns front California Moti* days and Thursdays. Equipment of suburb vestibuled Pullman palace sleepers, buftet smoking car and dining car. Most luxurious service via any line. Another express train, caff y ing both palace and tourist sleepers, leaves Chicago 10!25p. m. daily, for Los An* geles, San Diego and San frf itncisco. Inquire of O, T. Nicholson, General Passenger Ageht, Great Northern Building, Chicago. A Somnambulist. Bunker — I wonder whnt Uiocio Hillber 1 walk out ot the church during the sertnon. Hill — He must be a somnnnibullst. total poimiatloti of the (Jefmfcfl is fetnfficd HI gi(7¥0,28«. Guft eas& form & prominent Daft 61 the passenger^ on the Mains trains. A Memphis Man is in jail with penalties aggregating 1,421 years hanging 6v6f Wifl< Scotchmen have almost entire con* tfol fef the ston6'ctittinf IndilfltifieB of New tdffc. Mr. Labouchere is by bo weans an epicure; broad beans and bac6n is hia farofite diah. , ,, ______ _,. FLOTSAM ANb JfeTSAM. Kxcnrolonii. Very low rates will be made by the .Missouri, Kansas & Texas railway on November 17th, December 1st and 15th, to the south. For particttitirs apply to ,the nearest local agent, or address, H. A. Chevrier, N. P. A., 31(5 Mnrquette Bldg., Chicago. 111. A two-beaded calf whicb eats with both /noutliB was lately on exhibition nt Holtou' Kansas Germany now tlvals frtnce in glass coloring. A new species of giraffe has been discovered Itt Africa, A 3an Francisco theatrical manager has 100 applicants in reply to hie advertisement for the homeliest man in town. The army wornlB gathered with the crops in some towns near Rutland, Vt., have developed into moths, and the barns are full of them. Main* raifreads afg giving mSfife b! tfit trussing tending Job! t« wdfiien. The furnaces at Sheffield, Ala., are ttitfting out abeut S60 tflnfl ef ltt>n daily. Sportsnxjn &fo shbotllig base in the Potomac. The Watef in the tiVei* is 16W afad clc»u\ The non-tidal paft of the Thatoea is 138 nillee inJength and drains,an area of C.OOO square miles. fcSSfina of ftttfflia has S6f 1ft h«f Wafdfi «§ fctffef! btoad pawS dperat« as A rich dlaedvety of fdld , made neaf Gfahftmstown, Cidpe doldhy. f fae new n&fbof M (Jalviston, fe*** is »ew 6oJnftl6ted ( and Is an «titlf(6 fttfi* As low as, W cents ft barrel h&fi v b*M offered fof No. 1 Baldwin applea at fi** eter, K, Hi tit Woi-tft. "1," paid the large fat person with the large fat diamonds, "am tt self'tn&de man." * ... The angular gettUeia&n with the soured air looked at him curiously. "Must have been your first job, eh?" -he Mrs. II. C. Ayer, of lliehford, Vt., writes: "After having fever I was very lunch debilitated and had d.vs- pep*sia so bad I could scarcely eat-anything. A liule food caused bloating and burning in the stomach with pain and much soreness in my side and a great deal of headache. My physician seemed unable to help me and I continued in this condition until I took Dr. Kay's Renovator, which completely cured me." Sold by druggists tit 25 cents andftl. See advt. Deserted wife (in conversation withsym- pathetic grocer)—And I trusted him sol Grocer—Confound it, HO did I. Coc'n Vongh 1* ihe oldest knd best. It wilt breakup ft cold quidket thin any thing elsp. it 18 alwujn reliable, trj it. A sermon resembles piecrilst. TO be good it must be short. Cascnrcts stimulate liver, kidlieys and bowels. .Never sicken, weaken or gripe. Professui- Algnve, the advocate of state monopoly of nlchouol, is now in Russia studying the operation ot the system there. TO CUUE A COLD IN ONE DAT. Take LnXattve Bromo Quinine 'i'ablctn. All Df uggiBis rotund the money if it fails to cure. 25c The Japanese are said to make cotton half-hose at nbont iml£ the cost of the German article. * When bilious or costive, eat a Cnscnrot cnudy cathartic, cure guaranteed. 10c, 35c. < Matchen wei'e first made by nn EngHsh- nmn named Walker in 1820. 1 believe my prompt use ot Vino's Cure prevented quick consumption,—Mrs.. Lucy Wallace, Murquette, Kails,, Dec. 12, "JG. Not ft tolrectoi 1 . Gentleman— My Ittd,- can yott direct toe to the Bank of fingiandt t , „ Shoeblack (wfth withefSfif sporB)-^G4 on j do yah flnk I'd be doifc' this if 1 was & bank director. !__». _ _ ___ 16 mot-e Catarrh in this scOtloh Of the country than all other diseases fiut together, and until th6 . last few yeat-B was tiupposed to be Iticttrable. For a great many years doetors pronoun6ed It, & local disease add prescribed local remedies, and by constantly falling to cure With local trcatmetitipronounced It Incurable. Science has proven catarrh to be a constitutional dtaea&c, and therefore requires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by K 1 . J. Chehey & Co., To* Icdo, O.. Is the only constitutional cure on the market. It Is taken Internally in doses from 10 drops to a teaspoonful. It nets directly on the blood and mucous sur- lacee of the system. They offer One Hundred Dollars for any case It falls to cure, Beild for circulars ahd testimonials. Ad. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. O. Sold by Drufslsts. 75o. A healthy babe should cry three or four times a day to give its lungs needed exercise. So sftys a medical authority. Mr«. •xVlnglow's Soothing Syrup KorchtUlrGUinutltliiK, miftGn8thogtiiii& t rfitHiceaItofliuu- nmllon, ullnys pnlii) curcB wliid eollv. 26 cents a bottle. The best business for anybody is God's business. Just try rv 10c box of CascaretB, the finest liver and bowel regulator ever niade. &i Pat-is fdfMifc teaeSt tee* *** is tt» «BM*,.f»» ft* bttMl K> a 8»ft« afceli* ' tim* fflftf 01- «id«m«aft el ifct daffib debating club". • fiinples «f blotches K that disfigure ybur skin, afe ' i blood bubble!, The? matk « .. . . ... «.t^... if i'lj^ Blood... Bubbles. , . the unhealthy condttfofa ef CfiV |) blood-current that throws tfaeifl ' J up. You must get dowtt to ') the blood, before you can be rid o! theni, tocal' treatffle&t is Useless. It suppresses, but does not heal. The best remedy for eruptions, scrofula, sores, aud all blood diseases, is Ayer's Sarsapanlla. Thomson's Eye Watfir. W-N.U. Wbou nuswonni! nilvorllsomona >inoiy .. thlspaner. • BluffliiK the Boys. long-haired, rough-looking man fn the train at Evergreen and took _at ahead of me, and after looking iver and sizing him up for a cattle- 1:1 asked if that was his occupa- iJ3, sir," he promptly replied. "I |to be in cattle, but I'm out now. orter foot-loose fur a few weeks, ; thought I'd run down to Canon land bluff the boys." ^,u refer to poker?" i, no. They drove me out of Can- gjty three months ago and warned stay away. I'm goin' back to .the crowd crawfish." hat is, you propose to defy the lie there?" A Common lleason. |hy do you suppose Jenkins never Jhls debts?" r .3 he can't afford to and keep ppearances."—Clevelan-i Leader. A Reasonable Keasoii, ,„ v,,,^,..-,„«., was it dat I ee you ftt Sunday school yester- osgph Jaq^son? Jackson-—I reckin' 'twas be; clere, sah, by the weather prediotipn ?" ipquired Mr. Ohu^water, - asfl warmer'," replied Mrs, 0. wgwfftw hobble^ to the ^ae^ ,- fast as his rheumatism, would a.Rd, .cftjled to tbe'Cfvrpentej' who on the pwtside: hi»gl^ bacK in the WOOfl' WP caji't P"t Itljlftt new kitchen "- the ft? wr e pv\§fc la 'leave, Aj \ > /• '"— K \ f \ 1 \ V i' \ \ Vi.#-*l .A Tilisbury's Patent Rotary Biscuit Cutter that cuts ^f. 1 "U Q*r* {Am Q£ biscuits and cookies at the rate of 100 per minute. yWll-r* ^CLV^*fc. w* Next week, any progressive Grocery in your city will give you the best Biscuit Cutter in the world with a sack of the greatest Flour. You cannot buy this Biscuit Cutter at any price, but YOU can get ONE free next week with a 48-lb. or - umorQu s Best. • ~ g^y You'll get a book with the flour-read it. The title is, "Good bread, and how to make it." Use the flour as we say-a fifth less than of any other flour. You will get better food, more healthful food, and save money. You will know then why PUlsbury's Best feeds the world* why its enormous sale is the marveV of everybody. You will never use another flour afterward. have these cutters nest weels, • TJjiqwJleiwelal ot . Tbe ™ olabn tfeat next tovP ,v-' ! S'f ; .> ^^ 'i'j, "**<W : m ^ •tft\'$ ••tui fim B -.-s?

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