The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on April 22, 1896 · Page 7
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 7

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, April 22, 1896
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Page 7
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..-»***«., *****«%^ HtlMOEMS* COfiNEE, ftfotitit bfie fofe literal limits . e elSonf will Hutfaie you td afad 6ee »• f, Nicholson, & 5?, Mottadaoo5 Block, Chicago, attlfe deser i Southwest. - On Sbtlng *«t» South. j, tickets will be-sold from cities, towns and villages "north, Jbojill poibts ob the fe Nashville railroad "Fennessee, Alabama. Mississippi, attd a portion of Kentucky, at '• fare for the round'trip, ;1 be good to return within envy-""-* d»y s » ott pa^naent of 88 to lament at destination, and will allow EtoP-over at an y< point on the south •found trip. Ask your ticket agent 1 .. ^ nd if he cannot sell you j tickets write toC. P. Atmore Passenger Agent, Louisville |Ky,orJ.K. Ridgcly, N, W. P. A. IChicago, 111- •-,- — Uncle Joke Lawrence, of Uniontown, Jfy. etehty-four years old, and has reason to ', df lighted. For years he has been wi« h lout teeth, and nbw a n»w set of natural Ues are showlUB; themselves in his gums. Eug s made of Irish peat are quite popu Bar in London. POft ft fedeffi at tb*«—ths bf Mofd Time* ia Cbi-kto^tt th« Methef 0? Invention—FloM*m ttfld From tbe tld«. tfrs. Anna L-.Smith, of 811 With nil r 8ft* btei ia tMi Wfirfa %---, «y Wife C^tt6* fft'fcetl tfeW -fegf i9 Mft !6f mS,': pistil*® liid "if6fifl| Wtslilfif int6 tfie big 'iff g8ti€l«8fi «! Smftn & tJ6< r f es, tmt bb^/tfa 1 te youf wife isV 1 ifik&d tfta & THE witchery of her eye*.! Tempting eyes, Laughing eyes! Laughing when her heart e'en cries, Never known to moralize, Sometimes sad, yet ever wise, Ready e'er to sym* pathize— But 'tis only in her eyeo. Oh the coquetry of her eyes! • Shocking eyes, Mocking eyest Mocking when your heart replies To her low and tender sighs— Sometimes sad, yet ever wise- Why should man so highly prize Two such sinful; living Hcsl Bertram A. Marburgh, in Truth, , td fc , "Weil, 'theft, dSft't ffatf Wl^ftWg 16 htf &t fell, Just detliti h6f ttfl t fetufftV' aiid he ttished 6ut, wnils tnfe cletk looked longingly at a plte driver &er6s§ the Btteet-^-gt. t»aul,l51sp&t6h 4 Iroufig Mr. gpralts sat la Miss Ifeiie azzam's pftflot, ahxlottsly. awaiting the young lady, She had promised him her anawef that night, and he was wondering Whether that answer would make him the happiest of mortal nieii or plunge him In misery. As She delayed her coming he musa** "1 wonder If 'she Iti making Up her complexion or her mlnd."- i ~Jiidge. An Gladness Comes W ith a better understanding of the transient nature of the many phys- I ical ills, which vanish before proper'ef- forts-gentle efforts—pleasant efforts-, ritrhtly directed.- There- is comfort in the knowledge, that so many forms ox sickness are not due to any actual disease, but simply to a constipated condition of the system, which the pleasant family ,laxatlve, Syrup of Pigs, prompt- Ivrerao'ves. That is why it is the only remedy with millions of families, and is everywhere estsemed BO highly by all who value good health. Its beneficial effects are due to the fact, that it is the one remedy which promotes internal ! cleanliness without debriitajanp *te ! oraans on -which, it acts. It is therefore ! all important, in order to get its bene- I ficial effects, to note when. you pur- ! chase, that you have the genuine arti- 1 cle, which is manufactured by the California, Fig Syrup Co._only and sold by allreputable'drliggists. ' '• : . If in the enjoyment of good neaitn, and the system is regular, laxatives or othei 1 remedies are then not needed, it afflicted with any actual disease, one mav be commended to th?.most skillful physicians, but if in need of a laxative, one should have the best, and with the well-informed everywhere, Syrup en Figs stands highest and is most largely used and gives most general satisfaction. The, Unscrupulous Merchant who tries to make you believe some other skirt, binding^ is-- as good as "^ Merely a Makeshift. Irishwoman sent for a law- in great haste. She wanted him to meet her in court, and he hastened thither with all speed. The woman's son was about to be placed on trial for burglary. When the ,lawyer entered the court the old woman rushed up to him, and in an excited voice said: "Mr. B., Oi want, ye to git a continuance for me b'y, Jimmie." "Very well, madam," replied the lawyer. "I will do so if I can, but it will be necessary to present to the courl some grounds for a remand. What shall I say?" "Shure, ye can jist tell tbe court that 01 want a continuance till Oi can git a bether lawyer to spake for the b'y." The lawyer dropped the case then and there, and we are not informed of the old lady's next move.—Scottish Nights, '' u-"•'.-' that If, Pleamnt Taite. "This Is a remarkably high flavored roast," said the king of Mbwpka. "It Is from that late Chicago Indt vldual," said the purveyor-ln-chlef, "1 am really surprised, That Boston missionary told me explicitly and die tlnctly that Chicago people were utterly devoid of taste."—Indianapolis Journal. Quite Another Story. She—"So she wouldn't have you?" He (gloomily)—"No." She—"Wasn't her father on your side?" Ho (more Gloomily)—"No—behind," —Pick Me Up. Npcosslty tho Mother of Invention. ;h6teH-ib\e ravages of iiokfiefiS. The Story, is most interesting 88 told to a fepirftet'i "Ittftsan invalid fof jpe&rB, suffering Bfttwith one tompIoJirt and theft wtb another, The"thing x*hich tffiusSd nW the most discomfort ftfad taadehio offensive to my family was tho worst ease of .top.tee8- Mofi imaginable. 1 had the Wrt bteMagn we could and, ftnd occftBiobSlly, bis bfe- BfetibtlofiB relievM me teffipbfcmly. But th « pains and misery wonld all|b8n fettlf fl again. 1 becuwe desftWAte, and started ifa ,to try remedies of *hich I read, Amohg them were the fink fills- I took the pilte and followed out the directions to the let- iter, and before many days I begati to feel Hkfr a different woman, For si* weeks I (took the pills regularly, and lean truthfully 'add after thtttl was as well an afty one In the itamily. This change for the better in my condition has eattsed my relftti\-esjind triendu to take the pills We buy them Irotn the drue store of John Duryeo, at the corner of BeKalb and Bumuer Avenues. I "1 assure vou it was impossible for me to oversee my household for three years, ixow [ visit my kltcheti every day, do my own marketing and shopping', in a .word, look Rfter everything connected with my home and family., . .. . ,„ "Oh, yes, I still keep taking tue tillls. I take one dnily after drnnbr. Prevent!on, you know, is better nnd cheaper than cure, I verily believe ono-halt of the women wUoare suffering from tho ills which our ROX are heir fto would be up nnd well If they could ^be induced to give the pink pills n fair trial. I certainly recommend them heartily and feel grateful to the physician Who put, them 'on tho market." i Mrs. Smith is a Woman of some moans and standing In the community and, there-, fore, her testimony will be accepted with, 'out question by all thoughtful people. • I Dr. WllHauiH' Pink Pills contain all the .elements necessary to give new litP and richness to tho blood and restore shattered, nerves. They may bo had of all drucrci&tB, or direct by mail from the Dr. Williams :ed, Co., Schenoctady, N. Y., at 50 contu ir box, or six boxes for $2.60. X te jf iittAr-ftrfrfr tit AUU TfUCH «* HBlilJ* JL»MrV*»WW — ••»••—-— . t6wft ,ln England, td get n» tttf bttt ftS ffittcn bread as fafc Walt! filgtftt , •., r tfaV&ifef in till' Alp.S clitnbitig With6ut S guide, te e&ve mow, and his ffttoiiy have ta pay w.ages let a week t>t Sufi days fof.tuaerai expenses,.' A dhic&gb man Calls his dog L&fni Oottcltieibti because he ItaB a bfokfin tall. A mftft Itt Hfenderdon, tfy.» BettdB eoneeienae inotfey te a local capitalist with this note: "Honesty ie the b&flt jjdlicy, This 20 6enta is fof stealing rides on the ole mule cars." they figure out lb Missouri that the wicked Mississippi Valley will te thoroughly reformed by 1 A, D, 2&69, by which time it will all have caved into the Father of Waters, LABOR NOTES, Minneapolis printers have established „ fcowllhg, submitted* Wins: ¥6rtt state legislature, sftaWa thr total ef 92? »bof ufilona a.nft i With ft tnfiinbe'i'flfa'itf of.lsOf crease of 8? organization*' u— _.,. members over the'^ear-, beteWJ^Tj these organisations, 112 feWtea &a trease in wage£ fof the year, crease and 704 no change. Eighteen unions reported an increase in -Wttfkiflg hours, and 68 a decf ease. Of 8d4 organ- isjattons reporting, 182.S80 mefflbewi were in active employment In July* 1SD5. Not In His Line. "The palmists tell us about the lino of life, the line of fate and all otber lines," observed Mrs. Morcomb, who was Interested in the science, "but tbe palmist who wrote this book—" "Have you been buying a book on palmistry?" asked Morcomb. "Why, yes.." "Had your hand looked at, too, I suppose?" ' . "I have." "Wh'at did it cost?" "Only ?5." "Only $5. H'm! what did the palmist v.ay about your line of economy?" [ "He didn't say anything. Tbere isn't any such line, is there?" "If there is," snorted Morcomb, "the palmist never sees it in the hand of anybody who visits him."—Chicago Tribune. "Hello, there!" "Hello." . "Is that you, Missis Case/.' "It is." "Whin yes git t'rough wid yer dressmaker, would yer moind sindin' her acrost tbe way to me? 1 want to put a'Mary of Midlcine collar to my sthriped waist."—Truth. Blia Got One Book. "You look as If " Mrs. Skinner was evidently anxious to say something disagreeable to the boarder In arrears. -—butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.". The boarder in arrears glanced casually round tho table and murmured: "Depends on the butter." Mrs. Skinner thereupon turned the subject to bicyC'les. Bias Velveteen Skirt Binding should be taught a lesson- buy it elsewhere. Lock-for '* S. H. & M,," en the Label, and take no other. If your dealer will not supply you ' • we will. Send for samples showing labels and materials, toiheS. H- &M.CO..P, Q. &>x »99. New York City. 8en4 us 23 cents In staraps and we will niafl you a Htndwme SteiUng Slvof Pisted Sowsnir Te» Spoon with picture of JS*.GOT. WcKInley of Ohio en- Braved la bowL Or for 27 cents we will send the same spoon with Gold Rated Bcwl Few assorted handle designs. We also have bowl en- mvinns of all Presidents end noted Bend for Catalogue. Agents wanted. NIAGARA FAI.U9 SOUVENIR Niagara Falls, N, Y, A Hint for the Orchestra. A newspaper correspondent tells how, on a visit some months ago to a small town near Manchester, he came across a portable theater, outside of which was the announcement that the play of "Hamlet" would that evening bis--performed,' Evening came and. the performance" commenced. The curtain descended at the-conclusion of the first act. To tho surprise of the audience and ' amid much laughter, Hamlet popped (his head in front of the curtain, and, Addressing the orchestra, which consisted of a solitary violin player, exclaimed, in tragic and reproachful tones: r "i told you a flour lea of trumpets! '— Weekly Telegraph. So Snake Then. Murphy—"St Patnrick was a foine glntlemon, but it's a thousand pities he wuzn't bor-rn ages afore." . • • Giles—"How do you make that out?" Murphy—"Shure, ef He'd bin in the garden of Adin a pure divil loike me wudn't be wrnvrkrin' his vitils owt iviry day in the gas bouse, erl on ac- sount av the curse EY Adam."—Judge. The Effect of Bar* Time*. Ont of Stock. "I understand that you. have relics ol the war for sale, my little man," said the Northern tourist to the tow-head. "We did have," replied the boy, "but they have hougbt us out, an' the swords daddy burled last week won't git rusted •fore summer!"—Atlanta Constitution. The infallible.Tost.'. Watts—How can man tell which is the host bicycle,T4 like to know? Potts-Buy one. After you have had It >a -week it will bo the bont wheel in tho market. It always works that way. ', Halt Fare to Virginia and Carolina. i On May 5 homeseekers' excursion [tickets will be sold from all points in fche West and Northwest over the "Biff IFour Route" and Chesapeake & Ohio Illy, to Virginia and North Carolina at ione fare for the round trip.- Settlers looking for a home in the South can do !no better than in Virginia. There they have cheap farm lands, no blizzards, no cyclones, mild winters, never failing crops, cheap transportation nnd '.the best markets. Send for free de ficriptive pamphlet, excursion rates and {time folders. U. Jj. Truitt, N. W. P.- A 334 Clark St;, Chicago, 111. Opportunities For Gain. The greatest opportunity for specu' lation m grain is during the growing season, when the elements for and against the growing crop are measured with their changes. , . The experienced in the market rlerstand this. Attention is called to the advertisement of W. E. Singer Co., which appears in this issue with address, whp are in direct touch with 'all exchanges and thoroughly reliable. •Our investigation convinces us they can fulfill what they represent. 1 or particulars address them. The New I'ortralt. "I am now finishing your portrait, baron." "You need not take the trouble to finish it, but start painting another, as they have lust made me an earl.'". a printers' club room. A Springfield, 0., firm has shipped a large order of pumps to Russia. The plate gla'ss trade In the Indiana gas belt IB reported very much im* proved. Cincinnati labor unions have begun agitation for morning and evening 3- cent car fares. Texas has Just finished a new 70-mllo railroad, and a 100-mile road in Alabama nnd Mississippi has just been commenced. . Sam Hop, of Dayton, 0., has a oon in China, who has mastered the.art of making fireworks and ho w^ll bring lira to Dayton and start a factory. Minneapolis trades assembly, the other day, sent a committee to tho mayor to protest against the manner In which the poor of the city were being cared for. The barbers' unions of Cincinnati are making vigorous objectiona to the mayor to "schools of barberlng," which are a new thing and, the barbers say, a bad thing for their buisness. During the past fortnight tho first cargo of American pig iron has been imported by-TC" finish .manUfne'ti'vors, ITEMS OF INTEREST, In the United States there aro over 37,000 female telegraph operators .< Weather bureaus are now In exist- < once in every civilized nation itt, world, including China and > Jap Four thousand homicides a year committed in Italy. This is almost" an . average of one in every two hours, '. The sum of $60,000 IB annually- paid by the gambling institution at Monte v Carlo, for the support of tho clergy of Monaco. Antelope? -re becoming quite scarce •* In Texas, only a few years ago they . could be seen on the prairies in vast, hercK The largest experimental appw orchard in mo world is at Farmdale, 111. It IB owned by Benjamin Bucknan, and contains 550 named varieties of apples. Mrs, Annie Merrifleld, of LimingtonV Me., is still industrious, at tho ago of ninety-four. She spends most of hei^ time in knitting nocks, which are sold •in Portland, Deafness Can Not Be Cured By local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion of the ear. There is only one way to cure deafness, and that Is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed condition of the mucous lining of the :Bus- tachian Tube. When the tube* 8 Inflamed you have.a rumbling. 8 ° u " de ? r • - • • --•— and when.Jt-lB en- * „„ Choice Volumes., "Her father IB not what you would call a !well-read man," Bttid one foreign gentleman i 0 '°No. His library consists of only two 'books. But they suffice." "What aro they?" "Bank book and check book." Proof of Veruatlllty. Biggs—That De Beat seems like an extremely versatile fellow. _ , . , • Todgery—That's right. He borrowed tlO of mo last month. ~ ToawirB—Ho has already given me thirteen original excuses for not returning it. Fair und 'Fruitful ' r AB the--Went-is, it is often malarious,-. But it « pleasant to know that a competent safeguard m tho shape of Houtetter^ Stomach Bitters exists, which absolutely nullifies the poison of miasma. We?«*rn bound emigrants should hea^thls _ln mind, tfor BhoultTit be forgotten, the B'tterrto » Sterling remedy for dyspepsia, biliousness, conHtipation, Vidnoy and nervous complaints and rheumatism. Feeling Active, "Any sign of spring up your way?" "Wall, yesterday I saw a man turn a back soiersaiilt getting off an electric car before it stopped." The Hi of the Season... SwAJisoN RHEUMATIC COHE Co., ^Dearborn St., Chicago, 111. : I find the bottle of "5 Drops" to be very good and 3"st what 'you claim. My wife bos been Buffering with catarrh and bay fever over 10 y«"»She had tried everything, and doctored much; but no cure. fwoul3 like the agency - -•-' - •• - - "iia county, as 1.know.it PAPER FREE »«»»»» W VrH» Which dotf net Tb,o Tall Qne— And woere are your loag e»e whiskers ye had last wt-ek? TbTWrt One-Wblsf, be aw. we wife's new JMn<* Wt i ™#' wine, Po y° u s< * t}lim? - Strange, But True. Visitor—Well, Freddy, how many brothers have you? Freddy—I have one, but my sister Stella has two. "Why, how is that? Who are they? "Me and my brother."—Philadelphia Inquirer. __^ Making Progress Miss Young (enthusiastically)—"Oh, Miss Timer is so lovely, so intellectual! Not in her first youth, you know, but—" Miss Stager—"No; but from what I have learned about her, I should think she must be well on in her second childhood."—Judge. Nothing Wke Knowing. Miss Fourteen '(reading from newspaper)—"Mamma, why do they call a drunkard's npse a lighthouse?" Siamnia (well posted on matters of the world)—','Becaufoe, my child, go little water passes underneatb.'V-'TFWth. Stranger-^'It must take a good deal of money to run tb 18 town." Resident—"Well, we've got sijcty- eigbt aldermen. YOU can figure It up yourself."--Chicago Tribune. • Uld She Tell? M^iss Antique— "How gray you are getting lately, my dear. Why, I have not a single gray bajr." Miss Passee—"So I perceive. Po tel} ie what you use/'—Free Press, . j REV, li. VOn VVAl'IJ, Milbapk, S.D, thi. taken out and this tube restorefl to Us normal condition, bearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases out of U;n are csuwd by Catarrh, which Is nothing but an Inflamed condition of the mucous sur- 'will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by Catarrh) that cannjt bo cured by Hall 9 Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. F. 3. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. Sold by druggists; 7Sc. Adverse to Detail*. money enclosed. March 81,1896, Cuba has a coast line of 8,200 miles and I £00 ports. . My doctor said I would die, but Plso's ''Cure for Consumption cured me,--Amos Kelner, Cherry Valley, Pis., ftov. A V! >i The shelves in the BritUb Museum contain | thirty-nine miles of books. is Ayer'a Sarsa> parillft, JtiBt' at this season! when Spring' and its debUU- tat ing days- are with t"V there is.notli- inglikeAyerfs- to pu-ti new life into> the- Hhiggisli. ays-- tem.Itswecps-" away the dulli- ncHH, Jack, ofe' appetite,, lnn«- guidness, andt pal'n, ' broom Itrdoea . not brace It builOis 'its. benefitsiw ,lasting., B'w* you 1 feel' run* AYER'ff Sarsaparilla truth." "De whole truth, sub?" "Yes." • •'Jedge, jes' gimme gix months!" Homegeeken*' Kxcurslona, On May 5th, the Missouri, Kansas & Texas Bail way company will sell tickets at very low rates to points m Missouri, Kansas and Texas. For particulars address H. A- Cberrier, 316 Marquettc building, Chicago, 111,, or T. j£ Cookerly, 503 fx>eust street, Pes Mpines, Iowa. A W«DW»'» Good »e»»oii. "What makes you so sure that yonr bus- pand loves you »« wuch as over?" 4i Bec»uBe I never feel called upon to ask Aim-". • •'.••: ; "' at n a bugbel; f§ a bbt of U Ws pecks; 3 bbls. for |5. No potato is earlier; or one-half barrel of Triumphs and one-baif barrel of late (or ??.35; 3 along to tbe Jobu A- Salzer geed Co.. IM, Crosse, Wis.. and set Salzer's Pedl- The film of a soap bubble is tbe 2,500,000th of au iocb intbickn^g- If the Baby If Catting Bead for "C«rebook.'"w»t>age». ; Free. J, C, Aycr, C9., Lowell, The Hlse and Falli «, *iv?Ssl Tbe growing (icuaoii of tliu WSPu. „....., the Krcau;<(KjppcirVuiiity of Hi(s >i»^ for to tue ezterioncoa anfl.i An ortricb can gironUaaeonsly see objects before and behind 1 -'™ 1***®® At « l^it JJpfPrt, Weary WatMns— "Good, is ibe best 4rl»k, after nli.*' ^snm) ,p^i??o»v-" After |9»fj yes," of Great Britain is on nt Hamilton, u it, U <** 811 «?*»• aw warper in CURE J- OH vrUaf't I'WWW «U Hezemaa'v Camphor *» w . Four miles of a spider's paly weigh one grsta- thread would With u dpsiro W «utw»a n«p otter our cxtcrieoce undlttcillUo* to Queer Names.; Hi- .a.;ta; m A CrleU"'** A A sod *! « M;«'»;ta;ii a mm ?T w^rf

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