Pittsburgh Post-Gazette from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on March 4, 1986 · Page 12
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Pittsburgh Post-Gazette from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania · Page 12

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Location:
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Issue Date:
Tuesday, March 4, 1986
Page:
Page 12
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2 IH)ST-(;A7.KTTK: Tue., March 1, 1U 11 16 7 8 9 ComicsColumn Cooper Joo Brovno LET'5 5&..CM HER QUIItf THJ5 TtttVI rr'5 ki w could i klmcio hcwj o IN FCR frxTT-TWCtft F0UK5 IT THE I.K5. .Rt f5c' '5! Ufl 5 A$ 600V ON A BEACH ONW HOT BE A IT WOULO BE MY THINK. ABOUT A SUIT CAUSES BWM 'WELL, VOU SHOULD BRING SUIT ALONG ANVWAV, THES'LL PROBABLV HAVE POOL AT THE SKI RESORT. Cathy Rtrtav? wou'o Y IRMIM6. I THE HUIWUATION Of DISPLAC A XV- THE VEAR WE DIDN'T CATHY t MAKE CONTACT. J) A V -" o (WHIR frO ON CANNOT PUT ING THIS A SKI TRIP ON A 6ATHH WOULO NOT THAW TO SOmE- IN& SUIT RIGHT NOW. VACATION. PlACt WARN?? WORST A NIGHTMARE COWE TRUE and their fans mingled in a really friendly way. And, I was glad to watch Tonya Lewis and Becky Yer-man, members of the Oilers team, skating and checking as well as any boy on the ice. The coaches and officials of kids' hockey leagues do an admirable job of teaching the kids sportsmanship and discipline as well as competitiveness. They keep the game fun. Towne topics Sid Stadtlander is home from Presbyterian-University Hospital after surgery ... Hope Katie Sa-pinski, 4, gets rid of her chicken pox soon ... The world lost one of its best when Baldwin's Bob Jones died recently . . . Tom Coleman is retiring after 17 years as an Allegheny County deputy sheriff . . . Mary Ann Tuchnowski and Rocco Abbenante are getting married in July ... Forty-five happy years for Mr. and Mrs. Jim Hazi and 40 for Mr. and Mrs. Bennie Suber . . . Birthday best to Emma Stark, Pat Falcone, Connie OXaughlin, Helen Orlando, Tom Kelly, Helen Davies, Ann Kenderson, Beatrice Hargrove, David Jenkins, Virginia Williams, Peter Caric, Joe Stavor, John Sellers and James Miele . . . Thoughtful guy Michael Tokay. LAST WORD - Most "adult" fare is for people who haven't grown up. "I said, 'Good Lord, you'd have to be crazy to drink that!' But, after awhile, I said, 'Lemme try another hit.' And I drank the whole bottle. Crazy!" People like my friend are crazy to try even that first one. Fond farewell Just learned from John McMahon that John Muldoon, retired Pittsburgh police officer who died recently, liked to write and recite poetry. Shortly before his death, he wrote the following: My Star has set, The Lord has called me, Let there be no grieving, Just joy when I pass on. Quick solution George Kratsa met a woman who said, "I have a problem." He asked, "What are you going to do about it?" She said, "I'm going to divorce him." Hockey home Watching little kids play in a semi-final hockey tournament game at the Mt. Lebanon rink, I was impressed by the "family" atmosphere of kids' hockey. Moms, brothers and sisters and grandparents were there to root the Oilers, who won 7-to-3, and the Capitals on. After the game, members of both teams Ran into a good friend of mine who used to pour alcoholic beverages into himself at a rate that would have killed him if he hadn't wised up in time. For years he was a top-shelf drinker but as his habit ruined him financially, he became an imbiber of bar whiskey, cheap wine, anything. "What was the worst you ever drank?" I asked him, figuring it was some of the stuff guys under the bridge drank. He said, "It was in a prison during a riot. I was there in an official capacity and was conferring with some trusties in a secure part of the prison. As the hours went by, I mentioned that I could use a drink. A trusty said, 'I'll get you something.' "He left the room but was back in a few minutes with a bottle filled with a clear liquid. I figured it was gin, vodka or corn likker that someone had smuggled into the prison. "He poured a drink into a paper cup and handed it to me. I downed it and, honest, I felt as if I had been struck by lightning. My whole body was burning and my head was going Bo-i-i-n-n-g! When I could talk, I gasped, 'What the hell is that?' He said that one of the cons had made it. The con would crawl under every motor vehicle that entered the prison and scrape gobs of grease from the bottoms. When he had a barrel-ful, he'd distill the alcohol from it somehow. B.C. TO EVEM BATHING RASSmENT SO DEE" THAT I Cm BARE 01 SKAK. Bloom County - 56. : STILL pomm Shift. 7WN& FOR A you Know 1 STIU. HAVE A UWPRPCTICe, Mil, A fl rEAiy. iWAWM& MONEY BY KCP1N6 rapists m? mmm out of ml. mite MWP SUCH a Nice, Resncm&e, urnx- aWS BOY HM bOTTtti THZ .1 -..-' II M U III 3k Broomhilda YOU' RE HOME TH PRINCIPAL YOU'RE MO FROM SCML PROM SCHOOL 5NTME I j WAS WHI5PERIN6 I I ABOUT WIM ANP HI5 I V 5ERETARY J EARLY, NERWIN J FOR WH15PERIN6 .' The Far Side Bv Garv Larson Blondie By Dick Young and Mike Gersher By Mike Keefe and Tim Menees By Berke Breathed on swie... 1 PRAY YOU'LL 60 TO TRVCK-PRIVIN6 SCHOOL 0N& W... FROM HIS SHORT-IHOTMR. A WFC ffi The term was then used for infantrymen because the large flat buttons on their uniforms looked like those dough cakes. Marilyn Kobutnicky of McDonald, Pa., writes us with still another suggestion, this one of Canadian origin. "In Robertson Davies' excellent trilogy about Deptford, Ontario," she writes, "a character tells a joke that the American soldiers were called doughboys because 'they were kneaded in 1914 but didn't rise until 1917.'" She adds: "Just Commonwealth humor, I suppose." By Dick Moorea By Paul Nichols IJVSTMAKnOTRliOU W&MY0166ESTFAMH MEAN IT! AXE THOSE EYES FOR REAL OF COURSE THEY ARE. SHI7 UP, JOAN. 1 ' ii . By Cathy Guisewite Sorrij,Slim! In T the dark you Ln il look like Pert nz H lw" & 198b universal Press Syntaat I THE PLU SEASON J N s i aiVBJOAH 1 "(THEY CAN'T Rti Kina Faatura - IS TERRIBLE ttTHE u i r GIVE PLU By King peaturaa C--, ZSJ- VJ0f(5r Wt7"5 FAST '...for an well " hfvieTiN? lop&e here " lB) I ISi VV I INDUSTRIES J I SELL OPF My SHARES ) , f f ilSWif Vi 1 I iftTS S3 (MX 1 r W I I lvfPCMi.s I 1 I I BUT THAT'S AIT I AGREE J f ilStff HA IT.' WHOS fOE...&o Jfp ( OH. YEAH, 1 ' "f J ' JyV f M'h, OR FRIEHI7LY THERE:... f f ZERO J L JlyVZZ7 Cf A, pWVL J M f& ' WlHffAjt RMETH,M6x J j j f1 If I r : A)W t "Mom! Allen's makin' his milk foam!" J X 17 J mX&- I - Ann Landers By Johnny Hart ITS "N By Russell Myers quality sex manual. There's a world of difference. Dear Ann: You were dead wrong in the advice you gave to the boy who eats one thing at a time, first all the peas, next all the potatoes, then the meat, and so on. My mother did that and her table manners were atrocious. She poked through a casserole like she was looking for worms. She separated corned beef hash into two piles, meat and potatoes. When she ate pie a la mode, she shoved the pie to one side, ate it first and by the time she got around to the ice cream it was a liquid substance. Watching her eat could ruin a person's appetite. Mother lived to be 91 and her eating habits became worse as time went on. I hope the boy's mother puts her foot down before he develops more mealtime oddities. N.N. In Fla. Dear N.N.: There is nothing ill-mannered or harmful in eating one food at a time. This is vastly different, however, from separating the meat from the potatoes in corned beef hash as your mother did. I agree such behavior is weird and unappetizing. By Jerry Marcus NOTION FOR SUCH used by a suicide to stand on while tying a noose around his neck. Then, with a kick of the bucket, the fatal deed is done. A reader asks the origin of "doughboy," which he notes was widely used referring to infantrymen in World War I. There are a couple of theories about this, but first it should be noted that this was a common military expression as far back as 1840. The first "doughboys" seem to have been doughy, flat cakes made for sailors. DoOneSDUTy IT'S SUCH A PLEASURE . WMEST YOU, MR. EAST- u, - MY ASSISTANT, JOANIE . SAY 5 A LIGHT JUST THING I DON'T FLOOR APARTMENT! YOUNG LADY' HE'S BEEN I I..- p4 BUSINESS ' 3 HOME want to but no name or city, please. Just call me Beautiful Memories Dear Beautiful: How lucky you were to find each other. It was a perfect match. Lots of readers will be envious especially the man who wrote the next letter. Dear Ann: My wife and I have been married 14 years. I thought I was getting a prize when I married her because she was a virgin. Now I am not so sure. We make love every Saturday morning at precisely the same time, in the same bed and the same way. Any suggestion from me that we should try a bit of variation brings a firm rebuke from her. "It isn't decent! It isn't moral. Are you crazy?" Ann, I am not a kook, nor am I interested in far-out stuff, I am just bored with the same, mechanical routine. Can you suggest something that might help? Milwaukee, Wis. Dear Milwaukee: I don't know what you mean by "variation." That word can cover a wide range of activities. Go to a bookstore and browse around for just the right book to give your wife. Read it and underline the parts she needs to see. Stay away from pornography. Select a high- TUAT'5 A STRONG PENALTY FOR WHISPERING MA. I, Words and Wisdom By William and Mary Morris Dear Morrises: I am curious as to the origin of the phrase "kick the bucket." - W.A.M., Kittanning, Pa. A: "Kick the bucket" has spawned a couple of very different theories about its origin. The first and the one we like least - is that centuries ago the frame from which a newly killed pig was hung was called a "bucket." Presumably the pig would thrash about a bit before the end and thus would "kick the bucket." More probable is the theory that the bucket is the pail traditionally Gasoline Alley Judge Parker Heathcliff By George Gately "My nails are just fine, thank you!" I i""" k A .UI ArChle V'ptOYou X ves,OAOoy 1 I if SAY ARCHIE jHE'S &OIN TO j $uJe Beetle Bailey IWI I FORGOT WHO 11 J 7 fr I PUT OH 11 3 J1!! j ..Jk l 1 3-M -t U w'. j fripnd! Jh fER N, CAME ON IN THAT THIRD ' lj? ' NOW I KNOW WHERE J HAVING HIS LATE-NIGHT !f1 MEETINGS' mtHKk I Dear Ann: I was interested in the letter from the man who enjoyed making love in the car. His wife felt guilty and wanted to know if it was the "Christian" thing to do. You said so long as it was private, not dangerous and reasonably comfortable it was nobody's business. I married one in a million. She was totally uninhibited, willing and eager to make love anyplace at any time. I must say we dreamed up some mighty unusual situations. We traveled quite a bit and it was not unusual for us to pull off the road in the middle of the day if we ran into a wooded area, a vacant house, a sandy beach, a calm lake or an inviting motel. On occasion, when the mood came upon us and none of the above was available, we just used the car. This kept up until we were in our 60s, when my beloved wife passed away. I always felt as if we had the healthiest sex life of anyone I knew because we never stopped turning each other on. Sex was always unpredictable, imaginative and fun. Our sexual compatability spilled over into all areas of our life and we were divinely happy. You can print this letter if you YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN ATTRACTED T0..W5LL.. MAJOR MACHO, BUT, GOP, I COULP REALLY MAKE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF OVER YOU! By Garry Trudeau Trudy i ity WHY, 1 THIS IS THINK YOU CRAZY. I ALREADY HAVE WO HAVE, PEAR. KIPS. NICB T0MEET YOU, MA'AM. "Due to rising costs our free samples are now a dollar." MP-

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