Columbia Missourian from Columbia, Missouri • Page 4

UNIVERSITY MISSOURIAN FRIDAY, JUNE 10, 1910. DUST DIRT TROUBLE WORRY We Do The Work! Take up, Clean and put down your Carpet or Rug in one day. IT IS BEST CHEAPEST SANITARY CONVENIENT Phone 116 DORN CLONEY CARPET CLEANING DEPARTMENT. Phone 116 PAGE FOUR NO PRICES HIGH YEARS AGO England and America Passed Laws On Subject. WASHINGTON.

"The prices of high living are not new," says Congressman E. T. Hamilton, who hails lrom Michigan. "In the reign of Edward III they passed the Statutes of Laborers, which undertook to regulate wages and prices of food. "In the same reign they undertook to define by law what men should eat and what they should wear.

"In the same reign they passed laws against engrossing, forestalling, regrating, and badgering, at which buying and selling at wholesale and holding for a rise was made a crime, and they were repealed in the reign of George III, because they discouraged growth and enhanced prices. "In the reign of Edward IV they tried to define by law 'toe length and breadth of cloth to be "In the reign of Edward VI they passed laws to punish 'victualers' who conspired to sell vituals too high, and to punish laborers who had 'confederated in re'spect to their work." "In the reign of Elizabeth they tried again to fix by law 'wages according to the plenty, scarcity, or necessity in respect to the "In 1777 the Continental Congress recommended that the several States appoint commissioners "to regulate and ascertain the price of labor, manufacturers, internal produce and commodities imported from foreign parts; also, to regulate the charges of inn-holders," and several of the States passed such laws and then repealed them, because, as the Governor of luiode Island declared, they resulted in an 'almost entire stopping of vending the necessities of life." NO MORE CORSETS FOR HIM No Delay With Second Case. "The first time I hired that lawyer to handle a court case for me the kept getting it adjourned and adjourned; but on the next occasion he lushed the case through in no time!" "How did you account for his rapidity in the latter case?" "I made him do it by contract." Boston Herald. The Truthful Peddler. Mrs.

Byers All the big berries are on top of this box? Peddler No, mum, some of 'em are on the top of the other boxes. Boston Transcript. Football Star Played Girl but Fainted Under Pressure. "Well, it may be all right for these society belles to wear those straight front corsets," commented Edwin Judd of the University of New York, who wore one at a dress rehearsal of the forthcoming sketch, "The Undergraduates," "but, believe me, no more corsets for me unless they are of a different kind and somebody else than Jack Schulize laces them up." Judd has played football and knows what it is to be crushed beneath the entiro force of the opposing team, but he thinks that mass plays and flying wedges are dreams of sweet bliss in comparison with being encased in one of those straight up and down things laced in the back. Judd says the corset in question can't have been made, but must have been forged at a near-by blacksmith shop.

It litted him as a skin fits a banana, only he was far less comfortable. Football player as he is, Judd fainted and needed the services of a physician before he had worn the corset fifteen minutes. "Schultc, who weighs about three hundred pounds," he said, "laced me up. They were not ordinary strings, those laces, but leather thongs. Schultze braced himself and put all his meat into every pull.

When he had tno trussed up the fellow in a straightjacket wasn't any worse off. I don't know whether Schultze had anything against me or not. "No, I'm not sorry I am not a girl, but this rorset business has made a cynic out of me. When Isaw all those beautiful shapes down at the rehearsal I realized what opportunities girls have for deception." "Judd made a beautiful maiden," put in another undergrad. "All he lacked was a wig." "Never mind," Judd replied, grimly.

"Before I go through with that play stunt again I am going to be sure that it's a common sense corset I've got to wear, and not a suit of mail." Judd wouldn't admit that he hdd fainted. Catcli any fellow admitting that. All he would say was, "It hindered me badly." New York World, From the Heart. "Say, pa, what is a myth?" painless dentistry, my boy." Detroit Free Press. UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI IN COLUMBIA Graduate Department College of Arts and Science College of Jlgricullure School of Education School of Engineering School of Law School of Medicine School of fournahsm IN ROLLA School of Mines and Metallurgy General Catalogue or Special Information Sent Free on Request.

$600 FOR DEFYING WOMAN Liquor Seller Goes to Jail Until He Settles. NEW YORK "As long as Arthur Yates has money 1 will sell him liquor. When he lias no money I will throw him out. If you were a man I would 'throw you out." So said James Purdy, of Singae, N. to Mrs.

Florence Yates a few weeks ago. She had called to forbid Purdy selling her hubhand any more intoxicants. His defiance angered her and she went to see Assistant Prosecutor Ralph Shaw. An investigation was made, and in court, at Patterson, yesterday, Purdy was fined for back licenses and selling without a license. "And in jail until he pays," curtly said the Judge.

Mrs. Yates left the court with a scornful look at the un lucky defendant. The "Trail" in Kansas. It is an especial pleasure to note at this time that in the Sunflower State the good roads movement has been inaugurated in dead earnest; that the whereas-and-resolved status has been passed and that the dirt is flying. Tho work in Kansas is being expended upon the old Santa Fe Trail the thoroughfare over which the tide of emmigration moved in the old days when the prairie schooners with their loads of solitary but hopeful home and fortune seekers journey toward the distant West.

The Kansas plan is to have a 30-foot speedway between Kansas City and Santa Fe. Seven counties are now engaged in doing their part. Ues Moines Capital. Only Cardinals Play Golf. Cardinal Merry del Val, who came into unpleasant collision with ex-President Roosevelt, Is to some extent a Londoner, for he was born about forty-five years ago in Portman Square where his father, descended from the Irish family of Merry, was secretary to the Spanish embassy.

He also received his early education in England at a private school near Slough, where his propensity for playing practical jokes procured for him the' punning nickname of "Merry Devil." Tho cardinal-secretary of state is one of the few members of the sacred college who can speak English with fluency, and is the only cardinal who plays golf. Westminster Gazette. A Bit of the 'Old An Irish plot, which shall be planted with a field of shamrock, clumps of Irish blackthorn and masses of Irish arbutus, is to be made one of the unusual attractions of Eastlake Park. It will be a reproduction of a bit of the "old sod." The idea, which originated with Park Commissioner Charles Silent, is to be carried out by tho park board immediately, so that it will be ready by St. Patrick's Day of next year.

Los Angeles Express. Mrs. Thomas Jones has a fine contralto voice, and among the musical element at her former Nebraska home has a high reputation as a pleasing singer. (Adv.) His Ultimatum. "If you want to move, all right.

But thero's one thing I want understood right now." "What's that?" "That if we do move, I'm not going to ride through the streets of this town on the moving van juggling an onyx clock and a bird cage." Detroit Free Press. Old Log Cabin Ham, country cured. and smoked Hetzler's. with hickory wood at (Adv.) Old Log Cabin Ham, country cured, and smoked with hickory wood at Oratory. "Seems to me Congressman Wombat wastes time." "As to how?" "Yesterday he got fifteen minutes in which to discuss the hog industry of his district and spent ten of them complaining about certain crowned heads of Europe." Pittsburg Post.

It is reported that Hon. Thomas Jones and family are coming to Columbia to reside. They will be a welcome addition to the city's business and social circls3. (Adv.) Hard to Choose. "Edward," said the teacher, "you have spelled tne word rabbit with two ts.

You must leave out one of them." "Yes ma'am." replied Edward; which one?" Catholic News. No Papoose in His Vocabulary. Teacher An Indian's wife is called a squaw. Correct. Now who can tell me what an Indian's baby i called? Bright Pupil I know, niis a squa-ker.

Boston Transcript. Persuasion. First Suffragette "Do you consider militant methods the bi-st way to call attention lo our case?" Second Suffragette "Why not? A brick might possibly catch the eye." Life. Spring chickens for sale. Chandler Jacob.

Phone 2Gu. (Adv.) Piking Around. Messenger Boy I hear your boss done a little shopping yesterday? Wall Street Office Boy Pooh! Noth-in' to speak of he only bought an insurance company, a couple er good, servicable banks, an' a steel plant, an' he had a railroad sent up on apperbation. Puck. Spring chickens for sale.

Chandler Jacob. Phone 2C0. (Adv.) From Noah of Course. The Poet What misery, still unrecognized. Where can I find sympathy? Unsympathetic Friend In the dic tionary, under the letter S.

Bon Viv- ant. A Daily Paper for $2.00 The Missourian is making a special subscription offer of 52.00 per year, cash in advance. This offer is good until when the rate will be increased to 40 cents per month or S4.00 per year, the same as charged by the other daily newspapers published in towns the size of Columbia. This rate may be obtained by either old or new subscribers. (Adv.) Plumbing Perfection.

Standard Porcelain Enameled Ware and oar own good name for doing high dan work insnr yon PLUMBING of high character. Get the habit of calling 600 black, when yon want Plumbing done. KING BROS. PLUMBING AND HEATING. 813 Walnut Street.

100 SALESMEN WANTED We can use 1 00 Salesmen during the next few months. Only hustlers need apply. Write or call on CHANCE MFG. Centralia. Mo.

The Secret of Our Success. The Slaughter. Uncle Gabboy Yes sir; I did some killing in 'C3 myself. Bystander Nonsense. Everybody knows that you didn't go to war.

Uncle Gadboy 'Course I didn't; and I killed my chances of getting a pension by not going, didn't Boston Herald. The family of Hon. Thomas Jones numbers five members Mr. and Mrs. Jones, two daughters and a son.

(Adv.) vlflr IW it 1 is simple enough and we do not mind telling you. In the first place we believe in ths adage that "Honesty is the best policy," in the GROCERY BUSINESS. And then, too, we believe that every body's money is equal. Your dollar is just as good as any other and wilj go just as far with us. WEIR SMITH Announcement! WOOD'S PHARMACY No.

9, N. 8th will be open tomorrow morning. A full line of Drugs, Notions, Cigars and Drug Sundries in stock- Your patronage will be appreciated. FURNITURE RUGS UNDERTAKING WHERE THE GOODS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST. WHERE THE PRICES ARE ALWAYS THE LOWEST.

TROXELL'S "Leader and Maker of Low Prices." 9th and Cherry Sts. Columbia, Mo. THE STATE NORMAL SCHOOL KIRKSVILLE, MISSOURI. A GREAT TEACHERS COLLEGE. Summer set tion, eleven weeks, beginning June 1st and ending August 12th, 1910.

FORTY-FIVE TEACHERS IN FACULTY. Many vocational courses, including Bookkeeping, Business Forms, Typewriting, Shorthand, Geography of Commerce. History of Industries, Manual Training, Wood Work, Pottery, Lathe Work, Forge Work, Mechanical Drawing, Raffia, Domestic Art, Agriculture, Gardening. Four years of work and study in Drawing, Painting, Etching, Hammered Brass and other hand work in Art; also three years of Art Study in designated texts. Five years in Music, including Sight Reading, Individual Lessons, Chorus Work, Harmony, Counterpoint, Orchestration, History of Music, etc.

Many forms of Physical Education, including Gymnasium Work, Public School Playground Work, Track Work, Baseball, Football, Handball, Tennis, etc. Ample bath rooms, gymnasiums, tennis courts, athletic field, running tracks. Best facilities in the Middle West for Photography, Lantern Slide Making and Photo Engraving. Special courses In the summer school foi those teachers desiring to learri how to use the lantern and how to make the Blldes. Courses in all typical High School and College studies.

But this is a strictly vocational institution and all ouch course work to the higher efficiency of public school teachers. Best Model Rural School in the World. RuTal children transported five miles in covered wagon. Excellent Libraries, Laboratories, Rest Rooma, Literary Society Halls and rooms for the Y. M.

C. A. and Y. W. C.

A. Special course in School Administration. ThlB course la conducted by an up-to-date man of varied and successful experience in both large and small cities. EXPLANATORY BULLETIN FREE. JOHN R.

KIRK, President. i Hetzler's. (Adv.) Phone 179 1013 E. Broadway..