The Buffalo News from Buffalo, New York • 21

INAL COLOR COLOR I SECTION LIE CHARTS The Buffalo News Wednesday June 1 2005 Elizabeth Kahn Assistant Managing Editor 849 5576 ekahn (a buffhewscom Carolyn Hax TELL ME ABOUT IT Afraid ofmakinga commitment A Dear Carolyn: I am currently dating a close friend I have known since high school about 14 years We have been dating for three years exclusively for about six months (SUCH a huge step for me) There is nothing lacking in our rela tionship or friendship period I want to tell him that I love him that I want no one else in my life but him forever I want to propose to him declare my love shout my feelings to the heavens But I am a total commitment phobe so scared I am petrified of rejec tion or making a move that changes our relationship for the worse How do I approach this? We are happy Should we just keep coasting along? You could keep coasting de claring your love for him could derail the relationship and you could get rejected You could get rejected if you keep coasting too Just because you heed your fear of the worst case mean you inoculate yourself against the worst case It does however inoculate you against the best case since never feel true intimacy as long as fear sup presses your voice And also risk denying this man one of the most exquisite divi dends for all the misunderstandings humiliation insecurity insults face slaps betrayal boredom unretumed calls all the (bleep) we invest in the process of relating to other people: hearing from the person you love that you are loved There is the chance he want to hear this from you yes But you tired of being scared? Don't you want to hear it from you? Constant power struggle Dear Carolyn: My girlfriend and I have wonderful interesting and en gaging conversations about things we agree about If we disagree it quickly dissolves into a power struggle over who is right We both have strong personalities and admire and love each other for who we are individual ly that was part of the initial attrac tion But we know we need to figure this out if gonna make it for the long haul frustrating is we agree on our values and lifestyle phi losophy but it is the irrelevant things like how coffee beans are har vested that we argue about really weighing me down How do we agree to disagree respectfully? Phoenix By being strong enough to be wrong Or more precisely by out growing the need to be right She: tired space monkeys harvest the You unless you have certain knowledge to the contrary: I heard And when you do have knowledge: farm I work on use space monkeys but maybe die Humility is conta gious Make maturity not war Temporarilyonhold Dear Carolyn: What does it mean when a guy says might be the one but I need to take a two month break because I don't want to be in a serious relationship right He recently broke up with a long term girlfriend who was pushing marriage Should I say off or wait and see while dating other people (at his sug gestion)? I really like him but now I am not sure Confused Since its plausible he likes you but needs 60 days off not 59 not 61 and since he (rightly) encouraged you to keep dating the harm in tak ing his word? Cooks of all types are opting for the lighter and shorter Japanese styie knifes Sharper image By Janice Okun NEWS OOD EDITOR can keep your coun tertop panini grill you can keep your food processor you can even keep your electric bagel slicer Your knives are probably the most used tools in the kitchen Chopping an onion cutting a sandwich slicing a roast even (tsk tsk) opening a package that just came in the mail Just think how you depend on this simple tool But interestingly enough even our old faithful knives are changing Instead of the heavier Euro pean style knives that have been standard for decades many home cooks are going for the Japanese style knives known as Santoku be cause they feel lighter shorter and easier to handle Japanese styie knives are said to fit in more with our current Hany Scull JrBuffalo News About 95 percent of the knives used by professional chefs are rented says Richard Nella who grinds much of that cutlery style of cooking too as we use more vegetables in dishes drawn from many cultures The new style knives can be purchased in just about every houseware department for prices around $10 and up Sales are booming the knives account for as much as 25 percent of sales But for this switch as for so many other changes you can cite (or blame) television One well known TV personality who uses a Japanese knife is Alton Brown of the ood Network show called Brown en dorses the Kershaw Shun knife a good looking number with a shaped Pakkawood handle said to be easier for both right ies and lefties to manipulate The blade resembles Damascus steel a very ex 'BBnB pensive metal made by folding the steel by hand many times In fact 801116 BBB' Sre Knives on Page C2 Wt MlWIMteEl photobyBBBWr 1 Robert Kirkhara BuffaloNews BB 1 Hiw TELEVISION Keeping VH1 on the winning track By Alan Pergam ent NEWS TV CRITIC Almost two decades after he programmed the student station at Buffalo State Col lege Tom Calderone is running VHL a 1986 graduate of Buffalo State so you can do the math Assuming he graduated at about age 21 he has to be about 40 the per fect time to head to VH1 one of the MTV Net works as general manager did (turn 40) a few months Calderone confirmed somewhat reluctantly in a recent telephone interview before adding some spin: is the new he said It certainly is a time of change for Calderone who has been with the MTV Networks since 1998 most recently as vice president of music programming and talent for MTV and MTV 2 MTV credits him with overseeing the development of such franchises as New Mu and Ulti mate Mash and the underground MTV2 hit How does this 40 year old married fa ther of two stay young working at a company that appeals to younger viewers? "Ihe one thing that is constant in this job is or Calderone said con stantly have to reinvent yourself and it forces you to keep up on pop culture trends At the end of the day it is in my DNA Everything pop culture everything television is in my The trends at VH1 have been very posi tive Calderone will be responsible for the day to day leadership strategy and manage ment of VH1 plan on taking the success and growing said Calderone very excited The channel is in a good place inheriting 11 straight quarters of ratings growth It is doing extremely well and I plan to take it and con tinue the growth and His excitement is palpable as he addresses some of success stories like and Week Ever" and some new and upcoming programs He is most enthusiastic about the next edi tion of Surreal which will have a cast that includes controversial baseball slug ger Jose Canseco He also is encouraged by the celebrity reality series (which pre miered this week) starring Mick ex Jeny Hall and a father teen age daughter show Hogan Knows featuring the pro wrestler Then School See Calderone on Page C2 I one thing that is constant in this job is or Tom Calderone president of VH1 and Buffalo State College graduate If the jeans fit wear them By Elizabeth Barr NEWS STA REVIEWER In the hands of other writers direc tors and most importantly actresses Sisterhood of the Traveling could have played like an MovieReview The Sisterhood ofthe Traveling Pants (Out of four) Rated: PG or thematic elements some sensuality and language Starring Amber Tamblyn America errera Blake Live ly and Alexis Bledel Directed by Ken Kwapis above episode of So Called DeGrassi But fortunately for the fans of Ann hit book this story of four girls spending their first summer apart rises high above teen TV melodramas Alexis Bledel America errera Blake Lively and Amber Tamblyn play Lena Carmen Bridget and Tibby life long friends living in Bethesda Md who at their prenatal aerobics class The four young accom plished actresses (all of whom are nonetheless older than their charac our teens spend their first summer apart sharing a pair of jeans that fits them all Opens today in area theaters 119 minutes ters) bring to their roles a respect for the stoiy of enduring female friend ship and compassion for the easily ridiculed teenage condition Director Ken Kwapis sagely goes easy on the concept of the pants a pair of jeans the girls edEx to each other to connect them during their first summer apart The jeans found in a thrift store mysteriously fit each girl from coltish and athletic Bridget to curvy Carmen but Kwapis run away with the magic element The jeans bring the girls luck or affect the tides but they do give the girls some measure of comfort to face chal lenges and changes on their own And the writers including Eliza beth Chandler and Delia Ephron keep it real The dialogue rings true in a way that is neither ingratiating nor overly hip Even with all of these deft touches and careful treatment the story is still rife with predictable teen plot points star crossed lovers a child dying of leukemia a father with a new family an emotionally withdrawn father This is the stuff of teen drama since time See on Page C2 IBBB 7 7" 1 II fit Clockwise from upper left America errera Alexis Bledel Amber Tamblyn and Blake Lively overnight express to one another the same pair of jeans in Sisterhood of the Traveling Write to Me About It" co Wash ington Post Style Plus 1150 15th St NW Washington DC 20071 or mail teUmewashpostcom INSIDE: Making the most of our beloved burgers ood PageRige C5 JI rt" teDearAbbyPageQ) Television listingsPiige C6 ConiicsPage C8 7 COLOR INAL COLOR Cooks of all types are opting for the lighter and shorter Japanese styie knifes Sharper image it' By Janice Okun food ou can keep your coun tertop panini grill you can keep your food 6 processor you can even JL keep your electric bagel slicer Your knives are probably the most used tools in the kitchen Chopping an onion cutting a sandwich slicing a roast even (tsk tsk) opening a package that just came in the mail Just think how you depend on this simple tool But interestingly enough even our old faithful knives are Hany scuiiJnBuifaio News changing About95percentoftheknrvesusedbyprofessionalchefsare Instead ofthe heavier Euro rented says RichaTONena who grind much of that cutlery pean style knives that have been standard for decades many home style of cooking too as we use are booming the knives account cooks are going for the Japanese more vegetables in dishes drawn for as much as 25 percent of sales style knives known as Santoku be from many cultures But for this switch as for so cause they feel lighter shorter and The new style knives can be many other changes you can cite easier to handle purchased in just about every (or blame) television Japanese styie knives are said houseware department for prices Onewell knownTVpersonality to fit in more with our current around $10 and up Sales who uses a Japanese knife is Alton Brown of the ood Network show called Brown en dorses the Kershaw Shun knife a good looking number with a shaped Pakkawood handle said to be easier for both right ies and lefties to manipulate The blade resembles Damascus steel a very ex pensive metal made by a folding the steel by hand many times In fact 801116 p606616 BWH' Sre Knives on Page C2 A I MIWMkEi photoby a Robert Kirkhara BuffaloNews BB fSf.