The Philadelphia Inquirer from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania • D2

By Kellie Patrick Gates FOR THE INQUIRER aniel and Nicole met in 2011 at the home of their Kalamazoo College professor, who gathered students from several classes to savor strawberries and ice cream and ponder big questions about eq- uity, sustainability, and community. was such a stunningly beautiful woman, and I was immediately struck by her insightful and intentional com- said Daniel. remember being struck by his thoughtful reflections and the way he ar- ticulated said Nicole. leaving the gathering, I looked him up on Facebook and I remember thinking how very handsome he Daniel and Nicole each concluded they had no chance with the other. Neither did anything about this.

A second chance In the last semester of their senior year, the two anthropology and sociology majors took the same student-designed, community-building class. They got to know each other better while learning to make cheese, beer, and pierogi. Class end- ed. Graduation happened. Nicole was getting ready to move back to Michigan when she saw Face- book post seeking a bookcase.

She sent photos of the cheap and wobbly one she was hoping to get rid of, and he said it was perfect. On last night in Kalamazoo, she and Daniel wound up at the same party. When it ended, he offered to walk her the mile back to her apartment. It was the first time it had ever been just the two of them, and they talked the whole way to her complex. having such a nice said Nicole, made brave by her imminent de- parture.

you want to keep He took her to one of his favorite plac- es, the oldest section of the Western Mich- igan University campus. They climbed the stairs of a building on a hill and sat beneath its columns. was a beautiful, clear night and we looked at the stars and out over the city while we talked for he remembers. They spoke about how great college had been and the excitement and fear of an unknown future. To their great sur- prise, they also felt completely comfort- able talking about deeply personal things, which led to joint confessions that they had been drawn to each other since the first time they met two years earlier.

During their sunlit walk back to apartment, they decided this amazing connection was worth pursuing despite challenging circumstances. felt crazy neither one of us knew what we were doing next or where we would said Daniel. Nicole and her parents dropped off the bookcase. Daniel asked if he could visit her over the Fourth of July. They swapped pieces of paper with their ad- dresses, and Nicole went home.

Making it work That July, Daniel drove from Kalamazoo to place in Northville, Mich. Later that weekend, he and Nicole drove an hour north to join friends for an Inde- pendence Day party. By the end of the trip, the couple was exclusive. Daniel had al- ready decided to move to Chicago, where he worked as a hotel bellman, and Nicole was to return to Kalamazoo, where she worked with a neighbors association. They saw each other monthly in his city or hers.

Then in 2014, dad had a heart attack. It was relatively minor, but it made Daniel realize he was farther from his family than he wanted to be. Not long after, he received an offer to work year- round at a nature camp where he had once been a counselor. had been together for only a year, but I asked Nicole if she would move with That September, they drove a U-haul truck to Connecticut. The job came with some very rustic housing.

trans- formed it into a Daniel said. Nicole found work in New Haven with the nonprofit All Our Kin, which supports home-based childcare educators who work with children from infants to age 3. The couple later moved to New Haven, where Daniel worked for a tech start-up. About two years later, Nicole won a Fulbright scholarship to teach English in Spain, and it was turn to move for her. The couple, who are now both 31, later lived in New York City, and they rode out some of the pandemic with par- ents.

When he decided to go to law school, they thought carefully about cities and tar- geted Philadelphia. Just before they met, Daniel had spent six months here working for Nationalities Service Center, a refugee resettlement organization. He is now entering his third year of law school at Temple University. Nicole now works remotely with All Our Kin, where she is director of institutional giving. They live in Brewerytown with their dog, Luna.

An especially engaging conversation Nicole is humbled by ability to see the best in her, even when not being her best self. She admires the way he gives people the benefit of the doubt and always considers their intent. She loves how, as busy as he is, he makes her and the rest of his family the center of his life. Daniel admires how much and deeply Nicole cares about people from her family to her coworkers. He loves the way she communicates open and clear- ly and direct while also being caring and warm.

met anyone else who matches he said. In October 2021, Nicole was reading Michelle Crying in Mart and that memoir, coupled with the lessons learned from health issues and the COVID-19 pandemic, had her thinking about the fragility of life and the impor- tance of sharing the big moments with the people you love. important to me that my grandmother be there when we get she said as the couple cleaned up after Sunday night dinner. Daniel stopped his dish-doing. you proposing to he asked.

That her original intent, but Nicole embraced his suggestion. what she said. Daniel said. would love It was so them The couple married May 12 in one of their favorite places: Wissahickon Valley Park, in front of the dam. was clear Philadelphia is where we wanted to put our roots down, and this is a place we can take our kids and show them where it said Nicole.

Seven guests attended in person: parents, sister, and grandma; parents and brother. More than 200 others watched via livestream as the cou- ple wed beneath an arch constructed of ladders lent by loved ones. grand- mother arranged all their flowers, includ- ing the bouquet and the boutonniere. Luna wore a neck kerchief that matched gown. Journeys of the Heart officiant Naila Francis led the couple through a ceremo- ny that included their story, readings from their love letters to each other, and vows they kept secret until the moment they read them.

Nicole promised to always support each of them becoming the best versions of themselves, even though that involves change and growth that can be hard. Daniel promised an equal partnership of equal decision makers, and that he would support and encourage Nicole as she ex- plores a passion for creative writing. The rings they exchanged are inscribed inside with a quote from Kurt Vonnegut: this nice, I know what After the ceremony, the group enjoyed a meal at Suraya. next The couple enjoyed a long weekend mini-moon in Kingston, N.Y., and intend to travel in northern Spain and Portugal after Daniel takes the bar exam. He has accepted a position at Cozen that will begin in fall 2023.

Daniel and Nicole hope that sharing their story of nearly-missed love inspires others who admire someone to be brave and take the first step. And that wobbly bookcase Nicole gave Daniel right after graduation? They still have it but currently in storage at his house until the day they have a home big enough to use it. it not being our style at all, we ever get rid of Daniel said. here are some things about being younger that I miss. But something that I namely, leg hair.

Come with me on my lifelong leg-hair journey. guessing a lot like yours, ladies of a cer- tain age. If your clothes can be considered vintage, with me. Because your memories are vintage, too. And way back when, leg hair was a thing.

magazines were full of information about which razors to use, proper meth- ods of shaving, and all manner of pre- and post-shave moisturiza- tion. I cannot tell you how much print was devoted to this subject. There are Kardashians that get less attention. So I would check every day to see if my leg hair was long enough to qualify as shaveable. In sixth grade, I sprouted a single leg hair and mowed it with such vigor that I took off a layer of skin.

Mother Mary was horrified. gonna have mon- key hair for the rest of your My mouth went dry, but it happen. To this day, I still have no idea what she meant. It was the only piece of bad advice my mother ever gave me. (Her best was, Have your own money.

Also, Add salt.) But be- lieve me, I was worried. Thus began a young jour- ney into The Shaving of the Legs. Preteen years were all about whether my legs were shaved, and whether it was the first, sec- ond, or third day after shaving, because legs must be Barbie- smooth. This was a concern whenever shorts were worn, or bathing suits, or even pants. At all times, legs must be plastic.

I remember talking about it with my girlfriends and even comparing our legs. I still know what we were thinking. I guess the idea was that boys look- ing at your legs would be abso- lutely disgusted if they saw hair, but I think that gives boys too much and too little credit, both at the same time. not really sure a teenage boy can even see if your legs are hairy at a dis- tance. But God forbid he actually touch them and feel bristle.

Never mind that nobody was touching my legs, much less de- termining whether I qualified for a Gillette commercial. And then there was Nair, which was the Holy Grail of hair removal. I say this never having tried it, since my mother would never spring for the stuff, still punishing me for becoming a monkey. I dreamed of Nair, imag- ining that would it would not only eradicate my leg hair but also nuke the dreaded follicles. Like, God forbid you have ba- sic human anatomy.

Then at some point in your life, you grow up and feel a little less paranoid about whether your legs are perfectly shaved, you marry and divorce twice, and your leg hair is not a factor on either occasion. In fact, no man ever in your history men ever mentions the subject. This is to the everlasting cred- it of men. Good on you, guys! Fast forward to the pandemic, when your grooming reaches a personal worst, and at some point you realize that you shaved your legs recently. Recently, as in three months.

And honestly, you have to. Because you barely have any leg hair. It simply stops growing. And then it vanishes. One day, poof! I know why this hap- pens.

Nor do I know where it goes. only here to tell you that it does. And you can count on my word. Remember, the girl who told you that someday sprout a gray chin hair. Maybe your leg hair, march- ing north.

All telling you is, the day will come for you, as it did for me, when you realize you have to shave your legs at all. So stop. Your razor will get rusty in the shower. keep it just in case you turn into a monkey. If this already happened to you, how great is this? If this happened to you yet, stay tuned.

The best is yet to come. Look for new bestselling domestic thriller, Happened to the now in paperback. Also, look for bestselling historical novel, critically acclaimed debut novel, of is now in paperback. Leg hair and the time wasted on it in my youth Daniel Kilburn Nicole Allman May 12, 2022, in Philadelphia The couple and their wedding guests (from left) Avery Allman, Terry Allman, Tyler Allman, Joan Bannister, Nicole, Erick Kilburn, Daniel, Diana Boice, and Larry Kilburn. SGW Photography Tell Us Your Love Story The Love column was once solely about romantic couples and their weddings.

Then the pandemic hit. When all of us had to stay physically apart, we expanded to include stories of all the ways we are connected: romantic love and marriage. Friendship. Family. Unrelated people who have forged a family.

Thankfully, we can now be together again. More weddings are happening, and again telling love stories of newlyweds. But your response over the past year has made it clear that we should continue to include stories about other important relationships, too. So, parents and children, best friends, siblings, newlyweds and to-be-weds, and couples with experience, tell us your love story. To be featured in an upcoming Love column, please send an email to with your names, a few sentences about your story and the best way to reach you.

Please include your email address. CHICK WIT LOVE LISA SCOTTOLINE D2 THE PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER SUNDAY, AUG. 14, 2022 INQUIRER.COM.