The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on June 20, 1894 · Page 6
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, June 20, 1894
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Cttlfttf SIS Sett thereby fashion A raiftea soul. every mortal "Himself, olasl Set wide the i»ottflls Whete he will pass. e eight find blindness Ate far apart, tio Wratil find kltidnesa Afteet the heart. Oflc leads to sadness And loss nftd paifl, And one to glndnoss And good flnd gain, Stirely, the devil Appmiseth still, As his chief evil, Man's own self-will, TflJB SUCCESS. nnit tlic lie Combined Hypuotlnm Kilteriitnrc, bnt OVerftltot Mark. When I went into 'the-, club ".the, other night, J foitiirl Lightly turning orer the pages of a Christmas number of All the World. His fnco would have afforded a fine study for a picture of ccntentmtnt, and my first thought was that he must have an a.-tlcle or story in the magazine. For Lightly is something of a writer, and whenever he gets anything published—which Is not very often—ho bores us all for weeks after- Ward, telling how it happened. As soon as h<.- caught sight of me, ho beckoned me to his table, and I thought that 1 was in for at least a half-hour's punishment. But it turned out for onco that I was interested in his talk. "Have you seen itV" ho asked, tapping the cover of the magazine ,uid giving a little eager laugh as he spoke, •which confirmed my impression that Vo must be in luck. "No," I answered; "have you anything in it?" "Anything?" he almost shouted. "Why, man, I wrote thu whole number." At this I began to wo'idor if his brain—never too strong—had not suddenly given way. As you well know, All the World ia one of the most conservative periodicals—as I will admit that I have found to my sorrow In the past—and. it was preposterous that it should make up the whole number, avd n Christmas number at that, froK'duj •work of one man. And it wascilear to my mind that Lightly wpu'vi not have been that one man, iii.vuy event, While trying toJKink of something tffimbef. Y6tt JflttWv," . . iitbeHealty, "thai t_ar ftnrttfcko&m&teriai „ Htreetis ttttd seasons. ,'1 t»ok these .- trnflgs tip, ofie ftyytmi, tad brought them to his attetftioWWid be accepted etidi one and made'a plfltfo fot itih this holiday btimbet. - Then hb Muled his assistant in and glite ihstfttc- tUms for makmg lift the copjr--nlid 1 took hlta nwuy with me nnd gave nift a royal good time for a wdek. When he pot. back to tho office it w'ia too late to irihke any changes, and so yott Sdti the number Has come out witti toothing but my work, Afid a very good JiuJttber Jt is, too," he concluded, comf>lac"eMiy< : "But what do yoti expect to gain by it?" I nskcd; "tho story will mit'cly come out, and it will do you ,fiti good, but quite the reverse." ••" "You are wrong," replied Lightly, quietly; "the'Story will ftofc Come out. You win see that AldesoU must be the last man to tell it, And he could have ho object in doing so, especially as tho number has already made such a good impression." With that he book from his pocket copies of a hiilf-dozen leading papers nnd reviews nnd showed me comments that were not only favorable but flattering In tho extreme. ", "Paid for?" said I, not a little disgusted with the whole business, nnd particularly at being made a confidant of. "Yes," he laughed; "but it goes just the sn mo. And now," he added, with a slight show of hesitancy, "for the other matter." "Go ahead," I answered, not very graciously, considering that 1 wat» dining with him; "I might as well hear it till "now." "You asked me what I expected to gain by It. You know Lettie Underwood." I started at tho name, but nodrttnl with what composure I could' command. "That dear girl," said Lightly, "has promised to marry me us soon as 1 have won a place in literature—in fiict, as soon as I have an established standing with any of tho leading magazines. This settles that point." To emphasize his mean- log he tapped All the World triumphantly. "But suroly," T said, "you would Hot JUNE 20, 1804, US'HfS "Ai»6th*r cimncfc" the Subject rect -Their fttutake* In thU World to bUappoldtrnaot. consider this fair? You would not e . quieting to sny-cT took the magazine i'Ove glancefi'Over.the table of contents. It was^fo of Lightly's fancies—which did hi-a no good in a literary way—to .hay.^'a dozen or more pou names. He ,*a*ed these indiscriminately, as the hu- Jfmov moved him, and it happened that I Imow most of them. So you may judge •of my surprise when I tell you that • -every poem, story, article, and essay in the entire mngaziue was signed by •some one of the many names that 1 Joiew he used. The first wns a Christmas poem, signed G. O. Lightly. Tht-ii a Christmas story, signed T. S. Weaver this, hr had once explained to me, stood for Tho Story Weaver.) Then an article on "Jerusalem—Nineteen Hundred Years Ago;" "Christm-is—Past and Present;" and tlie usual run of such ' material as editors have fallen into tlie habit of serving up for the holiday issue. None of the topics were new, nor, so far as I could discover in a hasty gin nee,, were they treated with much brilliancy. The signatures were all composed upon the same puerile plan as ;thti one I have given. Poor as much of the stuff probably was, I still could not believe that Lightly, toad, written all, much less secured Its publication in a single number of All the World. I turued to him for an explanation. . ''Draw up a chair," ho said, with •what I thought an air of some condescension. "I can afford to fly high tonight, so let us have a bird and a bottle quietly in this corner, while I tell you all about it. "Of course," he said, as soon as we v«re fairly settled, "this is all on the •quiet I'should 1 not tell even you, if ,you were not one of my best friends, Jiud if I dl.d riot mean presently to ask -a favor of you. You know" he continued, "how people have bevm talking nbout the science of hypnotism for months past?" 'I nodded my assent, and he went on *i1tli an uninterrupted flow of words: . '-Well," he said, "I chanced some time «go to be thrown in contact with tin adept }» this art, or science, or whatever you are minded to call it. I rec- ognised at onqe the value that a knovrt- t efljje of: it might bo to me in making fiction, nnd I asked tho fellow to give me scmift insight into it. This IIP did, for a conjsidorntiou, and to such good pur- P<pp thut I was soon able to practice ;Ythp science to some extent, I presently JCpund. that it was not difficult for mo tp gain a hypnotic influence over nnv of less robust physique than my- but J .rarely attempted to use the I. finally di'4, it was \vhojly 'cmeaitatiou.-anci H happened t}i|s way. A few weeks ago -in fact, as Jhey >Yero making up the Christ- number-; happened into the ofllce c|rf/»U the World, «nd while there offer- qso» thjs poem," Lightly put lu s 1 on Hie printed page aa ho spoke, weat on withput. pause. put we off with some stock ujJjeiyg full of Wft tej^|, of Bjpre than Ue couia l^anaip, n»4 look ul; tlio popm." This willing that she should know—' "All's fair In love, my boy. And I want you to be my best man." I managed to get off with some hnlf- prouiise, and then, pleading an engagement, I^nrot out of the club as quickly as possible and into a cab, and gave the, driver the number of Lettie Underwood's house. -'The dear girl—t could have choked Lightly for using the words; they were in my heart whenever I thought of her, which was nil the time—was at home and received mo'with-her usual sweet welcome. But I held her at arm's length, and, with all the sternness that I could command, exclaimed: "Lottie, you are a wretched trilier. Givo me back my hr>!irt." '•••• :>. "What is tlie mater with' thai poor boy now?" she cop'ed .softly.' £ 'Vv r -' "Matter enough. /You have promised to marry Lightly." . . • ••• "Yes," she laughed, "I re-inember. • He proposed to me six months'; ago.' I told him I would when he had' 1 made a success—" . ".'•.':•':.,^-• "Your exact words," I said, 'seyerelv "were— 'when you have a A standing with any of tho leading hiasiisines. 1 " "Same thing," she answered',"airily: •he will never achieve either* : it was my way of letting him. daWir easy " "Letitia, listen to- mej'jSi I-'- said; "Lightly has written tlie' enllik Christmas number of All the-AVtipfli;" '• •'" • , '•> ' At this Lctty looked at ;i|^reproach| "Dick," she said. f tolimm ;: 'r»,:™ «i1l ; been dining?" "No, .it is not that, diued at the club, and' himself, and he showed%ie' the zine, and asked mo ^ be hi man, and AVO only nacFone bottlc^be^ twoen us." •?"•• "Well, this is a scrape!" she : > ex^claimed ruefully; " suppose. I will have to keep my promise and marry him. 1 " And what about''your promise to mo .<" I asked sarcastically. • "That was indefinite," sbe answered thoughtfully; "there wa s never any time set for that."'So I shall have to marry him now,, and if he should die, or anything happen, I could marry you aftei'ward." ' ' "Thanks," I replied dryly; ; -"but that programme does not suit me;< Now let me plan a little. You have.been a willful creature, never ready''.to name the day, and see the trouble you have got into. I suppose Lightly will be hero bright and early to-morrow to marry you. Now, I propose to marry yon myself to-morrow at noon," At this her eyes opened in wide protest. "Yes," I continued, "I shall send a note to Lightly., tolling him of your change of plans and asking him to be my best man.""But, Pick, this is so sudden. What" shall I live on?" . "Love, you practical girl," 1 cried, catching her in my ttrms; "besides, the publishers of All ttoo World to-day offerod mo tho editorship .of the magazine, vice Aldeson, (resigned. J suppose his going ovit has some connection with this business of'Ligbtly's. 1 am sorry (for hlm,"but I might as well have the place as another." "And then you'<«:aji print anything Qf your own that' you, want to, can't you, dear? I am' glad that you won't have to bo rejected any more." "Not oven by you,, sweetheart?'' "Not even by ine-r-any more." p*o you wauVthe*jUu'i8? * * We wero married on the morrow, «nd LetUe was as pretty » brido as eyer WR3 fleen—as pretty as though she had been given nionfchjs, instead of bouiu for making ,mwJy.«. JJufc on second though.*, J, ftm not sure tfcat slie fc* A M»I .efcMl*fr. ? Jl , ber There is a - hovering hope M the minds of a vast multitude that there will be an opportunity ia the ,tiext tvorld to correct the mistakes of this; that, if We do rnake complete sliip- wireck of our earthly life, it will be on a shore tip which we may walk to a palace; that, as a defendant may lose his case in the Circuit court, and, carry it tip to the Supreme cdtirt or Court of Chancery afad get a ; re versa! of judgment in his behalf, all the costs being thrown over on the other patty, so, if we fail in the earthty trial, we may in the higher jurisdiction of eternity have the judgment of the lower court set aside, all the costs remitted, and we may be victorious defendants forever. My object in this, sermon is. to show that common sense, as well as my text, declares that such an expectation is chimerical. You say that the impenitent man, having got into the next world and seeing the disaster, will, as a result of that disaster, turn, the pain the cause of his reformation. But you tan find.ten thousand instances in this.-, world of. men who have done wrong and distress overtook them suddenly. Did ; the distress heal them? No; they wont right pa. That man was flung of dissipations. "You must; stop drinking," said the doctor, "and quit the fast life you are leading, or it will destroy you." The patient BUiffiers paroxysm after paroxysm; but, under skillful medical treatment, he begins to sit up, begins .to walk .'-about the room, begins to,#b to business. -And, ' lol. he goes 'back to the same grog'shops for 'his morning dram, and his evening "dram, and ,the drams' .between. Flat down again!. Same doctor!. Same physical anguish. : Same .medical war.niufr. Now, the illness is .'inoro protracted; the liver is more stubborn, the stomach more irritable, and, the digestive organs are more rebellioua But after awhile lib is out again, goes back to the same dram shops, and. -goes the same round of sacrilege against his physical health. •-..;< He sees that his downward course is ruining his household, that'his life is a perpetual perjury 'against his marriage vow, that that broken-hearted wonjan is so unlike the roseate young wlf&whom ho married that her old school mates do not;,recognize her; that'-his sons are to be- taunted for a life time by the father's drunkenness, 'that the daughters are to pass into life under the scarification ' of a disreputable ancestor.'. He is drinking \-\fi) their happiness, their prospects for j.Jpfs life, and, perhaps, for the life to ;'<5ipinp. Sometimes an appreciation of .what he is doing comes u'ponshim. ,;His nervous system is all a tangle. From crown of head to sole of 'foot he is one aching, rasping, crucifying, dainning . torture. Where is he? In hel^on eartk ' Does it reform him? After aw.hile he has delirum treinens, witji a whole jungle of hissing reptiles let but on his pillow, and his screams horrify the neighors as he dashes out of his bed, crying: ' 'Take these things off me!" As he sits pale and convalescent, tho doctor says: "Now I want to have a : plain talk with you, my dear| fellow. The next attack of .this kind'you have you \vi\\ be beyond all medical skill, ! an'd.you\ will die." He gets better and goes', forth into the same rpund again. T'hiis time medicine takes rib effect. • Consultation of pWy- sicians agree in saying there is no hope. / Death ends the scene. That process .of inebriation, warn- Jng and dissolution is going- on within stone's throw of you,'going on in all the' ; neighborhoods of Christendom. Pain does not correct; Suffering does not reform, . What is true in one sense is true in all senses, and will forever 'be so, and yet men are expecting in 'the next world purg-atorial rejuvena- .tion. Take up the printed reports of the prisons of the United States, and you will find that the vast ma* jority of the incarcerated have been there before, some of them four, five, six times. With a million illustrations* all working the other way in this world, people are expecting that distress in the next state will be salva- tory. You can not imagine any worse toriure in any other, world than that which some men have suffered .hero, and without any salutary consequence, Futhermore, the prospect of a reformation in the next world is more improbable than a reformation hero, In this world the life started with innocence of infancy. In the case sup-, posed, the other life will open with all the accumulated bad habits of many years .upon him. Surely, it is easier to build & strong ship out of new'timber'th^n out of an old Jiulk that has Veen ground vip in the breakers, J£ with innocence to with'ip this life a m^n dpes not come godly, what prospect if? there tbftt in th,9 »est world. Bterftqg wJtb there woul^ l>f J» seraph evol^te4? Surely $he sculptor h^ nnore J da fist think the P &t%ttt» from cities Wraldfcftfre Setotvifceir chil'df^tt theft. Instead of ftmebdtofeht in tire other World, All the .assbelatiofts, Bof* that the gpdd are efoked, will be de-< peneraiitig fttid ddwri! Yoa vi-ould faat tvftnt to Send & man. to a cholera of yellow fevfir hospital for his health; atid the great lazaretto of iho next World, contaifaitig the diseased and plague-struck, will be a poor place for moral recovery. , ( If the surroubdifigs in this World were crowded.of teiripta* tiott. the siirroundings of the next world, after tlie righteous have passed up and on/will be 1,000 per cent more crowded of temptation. , Multitudes of men who are kept w.lthih bouttds Would say, "Go to, MOW! t/et'ttie-get all'-oj^of this life there is itf it. Come, ^gluttony, and iH.ebriatidh; and uneleanness, and re* venge, and all sensualities, and wait upou mof., My life may be somewhat shortened in this world by dissoluteness, but that will only make heavenly indulgence on a larger scale the sooner possible.. I will overtake the saints at last, and will enter the Heavenly Temple only a little later than those who .behaved themselves here.. .I will on my way to heaven take a little, wider excursion thaa those who were on 'earth pious, and I. shall go to heaven via Gehenna and via Sheol." Anrither chance in the next world means free license and wild abandonment in this, • Suppose you were a party in an important case at law, and you knew from consultation with judges and attorneys that it would be tried twice, and the first trial would be of little importance, but that the second would decide ^everything; for which trial would you make the most preparation, for which ; rotain the ablest attorneys, for which : be most anxious about the attendance of witnesses? You would put all tiie stress upon the se.cond trial, all the anxietv, all the expenditure, .saying, "The first is nothing, the last is everything. ' Give the race assurance of a second and more important trial in the subsequent life, aud all the preparation for eternity would bo "post mortem," post funeral, post sepulchral and the :world with one jork be pitched off into impiety and godlessness. Furthermore, let me ask why, a chance should be given in tho next world if we have refused innumerable chances in this? Suppose you give a banquet,, and you invite a vast number of Mends, bu,t one man declines .'to come, or treats your invitation with Indifference, You in the course of twenty years give twenty banquets, and the same man is invited to them all, and treats them all in the same obnoxious way. After awhile you remove to another house, larger and better, and you again .invite your friends, but send no invitation to the man wko declined or neglected the other invitations. Are you to blame? Has he a right .to expect to be • invited after all the indignities he has done you? God in this world has invited us all to the banquet of his grace. He invited us by his Providence and his Spirit 305 days Of every year since we knew our right hand from our left. If we declined it every time, or treated the invitation with indifference, and gave twenty or forty or fifty years of indignity on our part toward the banqueter, and at last ho spreads the banquet in a more luxurious and kingly place, amid the heavenly gardens, have „>y'e a right to expect him to invite us again, and have we a right to blame him if he does not invite us If twelve gates of salvation stood open twenty years or fifty years for our admission, and at tho end of that, time they are closed, can we complain of it and say: "These gates ought to be open again. Give us another chance?" If the steamer is to sail for Hamburg', and we .want to get to Germany by that line, and we read in every evening and every morning newspaper that it will sail on a certain clay, for two weeks we have that advertisement'.before our eyes, and then we go down to the docks fifteen minutes after it has shoved off into the stream and say: "Come'.back Give me another chance. It is not fair to treat me in this way. .Swing up to the of the battle. Bat in ottf ease, instead of ft private soldier offering helmet "to ftta earL it is a king puttifiif-hls crown upoii an unworthy subject, the king dying that We alight lite. , Tell it to all points of the compass. Tell it to night dttd day. Tell it to all earth and heaven. Tell it to all centuries, all ages, all millenniums, that We have such a magnificent chance in thia world that we need no other chance in the taexi I am in the burnished judgment hall of the last day. A great white throne is lifted, but the judge has not yet taken it. While we are waiting fot his arrival 1 hear immortal spirits in conversation. "What are you waiting here for?" says a soul that went uj from Madagascar to a soul that ascended from America. The lattet says: "1 came from America, where forty years 1 heard the gospel preached, and Uible read, and from the prayer that I learned in infancy at my mother's knee until my last hour I had gospel. advantage, but, for some reason, I did not move the Christian choice, and I am here Waiting for the judge to give me a new trial and another Chance." "Strange!" says the 'other; "I had' but one gospel call in Madagascar, and I accepted it, and I do not need another chance." "Why arc you here?" says one who on earth had feeblest intellect to one who had great brain, and silvery tongue, and scepters of influence. The latter responds: "Oh, I knew more than my fellows. I mastered libraries, and had learned titles from colleges, and my name was a synonym for eloquence and power. And yet I neglected my soul, and I am here waiting for a new trial." ''Strange," says the one .of the feeble earthly capacity; "I know but little of worldly knowledge, but I knew Christ, and made him my partner, and I have no need of another chance." Now the ground trembles with the approaching chariot The great folding doors of the .hall swing 1 open. "Stand back!" cry the celestial ushers. "Stand back, 'and let c'he judge of quick and dead pass through!" He takes the throne,, and looking over the throng of nations,' he says: "Come to judgment, the last judgment, the only judgment!" liy one flash fr.om the throne all the history of.each one flames forth to the vision of himself and all others. "DivideI"'says the judge to the assembly. "Divide!" echo the walls. "Divide!" cry the guards angelic. And now the immortals separate,rushing this way and that, and after awhile there is a great aisle between them, and a great vacuum widening and widening, and the judge, turning to the throng on one side, says: "He that is righteous, let him be righteous still,' and he that is holy, let him be holy still;" and then, turning toward the throng on the opposite side, ho says:' "He that is unjust, let him be unjust still, and^he that is filthy, lei; him ba filthy still;" and then, lifting one hand toward each group, he declares! "If the tree fall toward the south or toward the noith, in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be." And then I hear something jar with a great sound. It is the closing of the Hook of Judgment. The judge ascends the stairs behind the throne. The hall of the last assize is cleared and adjourned forever. INCIDENT AND ANECDOTE. Those fh* feldaeys, separate from the bl&dnf, passfes through them,, irtipnfitifes M Which the final Medium of liberation frotS the system Is the bladder. When their f utfctlea is suspended direful results ensue. Atadng these are dropsy, BHght's disease, diabetes and maladies which terminate ia some one of these. Sostetter's Stomach Witter* stimulates the kidneys, not as an icatad alcoholic stimulant would, by ing them, but by gently impelling; them id renewed action and perpetuating their activity and vigor. Thus the blood Is once more insured purification and the organs themselves saved from destftlctlOni Mft- laria, constipation, liver complaint, nervousness, dyspepsia fand rheumatism are all thoroughly remedied by the Bitters, *hifeh is, moreover, a most thorough appeHieft general tonic and sleep promoter. Use it fegtiiiirly, not seffli-occasionally. Most people believe in of somebody else. I feel it a Duty To toll tho world that Hood's Sarsnparllla has saved my Hfo. I bad dizzy spells, nausea and patns in niy Bide, caused by bad condition of my Sarsa- partita liver nnd kidneys. Soon S**f -a -a -rf^i/vfy nfter I commenced to jl SJir%?& tnkoHood'aSarsaparilin TOh^ «L,«kx^>«k>» I began to feel better. ^^^ ^flfr^W^ I took four bottles and I now consider myself a well •woman." Hns. PAULIXK Ilonr, Buffalo, Iowa. Bo Buro to pet only HOOD'S. Hood's PI I la nro purely vegetable. 25c. DES MOINES FIRMS NO PAY UNTIL OUHBD. .Davenport Hernia Ins. Over 6U3 Walnut St., Dea Molaes. Bicyeies., Texns and Nebraska land*. .Mereluiudls •, Stocks, eta., for sale or trade. Uurlto & Ulalm), 1)68 Moliicn, la. Sundries, Repairing, Ktc. Write us before Iniylnx- New andM hand, lies JloliicsCycleCo Ml HI I DIDCD PciilFiB niiipllcrt on terms of HALL, rArCH Kn(4onnn\ nil 1'npcrCo. Send for euiuplcB. Lntlncp-HlKiiuls Co., J esj'Moliics.la. Wood wntcr limkB of nil WrltQ lor pilec'B, stating youi neolB. Gco.A.Uartor DcsMolnes. MONEY TO LOAN ?? Lilu Insurnnoc Company of Iowa, at rtniBoniible rates and with optional payments. 200 younger mnn Block. Dos Molnos. Iowa. ([MM ENDLESS BELTS And supplier of all kinds forTliro'hcnnen. Creameries and Stoum VKOTK. K. «. CAUTEH, 31* Court Avo., Des Mollies, Ia. CAPITAL CITY NURSERIES. FTUU5TIE Is no larger or better nolected stookln th« JL Nor hweut, nor ono anywliore bettor adapted to tbq uses of Prulrlo Planters. Complete In all departments. Fruit Trees. IforoBt Trees, Small Fruits, Evorgreona, Ornatnontalu, oto. An honest, reliable Agent wurited In every county In the Northwest. Complete .Outfit nnd tho tsostof terms offered. 1870 C. lj. AVATKOUS, l>os MolnoB.Iu, 180* .dock again, and throw out planks and let me come on board." Such behavior would invite arrest as a madman. You see that this idea lifts this world tip from an important way station to a platform of stupendous issues, and makes all eternity whirl around this hour. But one trial for which all the preparation must be made in this world, or never made at all, That piles up all the emphases all the climaxes and all the destinies into life here. No other chance! O, how that augments the value and the iinopar- tarice of this chance! Alexander with, his array used to surround a city, and then would lift a great light in token to the people that, is they surrendered before that light went out,, all would be well; but if once the light went out, then the bat' tering-ram? would swing against the wall, and demo}itip» and*disaster would follow. Well, all we pee4 do for our present sod everlasting safety if to m»ko surrender to Christ, the king and • conqueror—surrender of our henrts, surrender of ou.r, liyesj surwmder- .<pf;, eve/y^hing-, 4^4 .he turning, Ha^t kindle GO GO T! LAHORE AMERICA'S BEST RAILWAY, vs dx> noj uuderstaijaAe 'fcex, Sfi«.HLWft . 'A'ymmg lieutenant going out to India with his regiment, writing home about the country says: "The climate is magnificent, but a lot of .young fellows come out here and drink and eat and eat and drink and die, and then write home and say it was the climate that did it." "What relation is Mr. X— to you?" asked the Boston minister of a 4-year- old boy. "He's my grandpa." "And what relation is Mrs.' X—?" "She's my grandma," "And what relation am I to you?" added the clergyman. The little fellow was puzzled, but was finally told, "I'm your pastor; you'll remembiuy won't you?" Tjie' boy promised, and when he reached home electrified . his mother and grandmother with the announcement; "Mr. Y— says I'm some relation to him; he's my pat-snip!" A gentleman, in speaking of the eommqunoss of the proper names of "Jones" and "Smith," told this story: "I onco attended a camp meeting in one of the rural districts of Kentucky, One day as I was walking from the spring to the camp I met a strange gentleman who offered mo his hand, 'I am glad to see you, Mr, Jones,' said he. 'I suppose you arc mistaken,' said I, 'I reckon not,' said my now friend. 'I am » stranger here, but the man who brought me over here said that every other man I met would be a Jones. 1 'Well? 1 'Wall, the last one was Mr. Smith.' At a Staten Island ball one evening a plain country gentleman had engaged a pretty coquette for the next dance, but a gallant yachting captain coming along pev&uaded tho young, lady to abandon her previous engage- mon,J; in foYQr pf himself, The other, overhearing all that had' passed, moved toward a card table q.nd sat d.owa to a game of whist, Tho captain in R few minutes afterwar^ stepped up to the young Jady to ex- eJfyas.ko ]W ^.s eng#ge4 to }io had - forgotten. mu$h. , phjigTJiued. tlie whist fable/ -in.hopes i, FELLOWS ADO FELLOWS SPECIALISTS. CHRONIC NERVOUS AND PRIVATE DISEASES, Book, '• Pel-fee t Jlimhood _ ______ 'nnd Womanhood and How Attained," free. Consultation free by mall or la person. You <-an 6e cured- Send for free symptom. blanks. Capital Ins. Bldg., JlUHliSt., Dee, Molnes.la. for rich and poor. Suchsecurltyaa you have, returnable In easy payments; Agts. waiiteil In every local- Ity; enclose postage for particulars. MAKE YOUR OWN WHISKlY. BYII WIIISK15Y, 40o Ral.i make It yourself; excellent flavor; equals $3 whiskey; easily made; new SrocosB nnd neoret formula, only $1; worth $100. end !!5o for sample and be convinced. mOK JJAI^Y, Itahway, N. a. WEtl MACHINERY Illustrated catalogue showing WELL AUQEES, BOOK DRILLS, EiYDBATJLIO ' AND JETTINQ MAOHINEBY, etc, BENT FEES. Have been tested and all warranted, Sioux City Engine ft Iron Works, • Successors to Pech Slfg. Co- Sioux City, Iowa 1317 Union Avo., Knneas City.Mo. Patents, Trade-Marks. Examination and Advice as to Patentability of Invention. Sena for " inveutois' Oulde. or How to 0«t f ".tent." PAT8I02 OTAHUJLL, WA Davis Inter> national Cream Separator, Hand or Power, Every fanner that has cows should have one. It saves half the labor, makes one- third more butter. Separator Butter brings one-third more money. Send for circulars. DAVIS & RANKIN BLDG, AGENTS WANTFT-. Chicago,

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