The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on April 18, 1894 · Page 3
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 3

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, April 18, 1894
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I^S' 'frvp &•"*#; Tiffl JKMNflSs AL6JORA, l, IO Yon believe in palmistry?" So many people have asked me tha,t question, and I tievef can make up tny mind how to answer it. I h>ve g_one in foi? the science in a small way for some t i in e, though t never *Ca~Ily studied it to any great extent, and I certainly find it wonderfully interesting. , I cannot bring myself to believe that the extraordinarily good shots people make when telling the charae- ter of their "subjects" are all chance, neither can I r see< any greater improbability Iti.i/He^character, .leaviqftan impression on the hand; but I nuist admit that until the events which I am about to relate took place I. did not put any faith in prognostications of the future. I had asked a. few people in after dinner one night, for some music, conversation and such like, and was Tather taken aback when that foolish little Eva Harrington, whom I. had asked with her fiance, suddenly said: "Oh, Mrs. Gordon, do please tell me my fortune by my hand; I bear you are so clever at that sort of thing!" I should like to 'find out how she knew I went in 'for palmistry. I am .sure I never told her. However, of course, I could only •say I should he very much pleased to -telLher what I knew, and proceeded •to poke and prod her hand about, Tjending back her fingers and thumbs •as far as I could (I only hope I hurt Hier!) and all the other rites and ceremonies that the professional palmist .indulges in. I never saw such a hand as hers •was. There were scarcely any lines •on it and it was Hard and- cold to a degree; I could only tell her that she •was phlegmatic and rather unsympathetic, and her horribly turned in thiimbs-'showed.'that she• was also- selfish'. . !| ' ; She Miad>' an excellent''pro 1 ' iessional line, and oiight to have gone in for art or science instead of settling •down into unrotnantic married life. I told her various othej- things, but I am afraid she was not too well pleased with the character I gave her, but "begged me to try her fiance. Langton Gore had always been after my own 'Ted—my ideal of a man. He was at that time about eight-and-twenty, I should-think.'but being a grave, quiet znian, seemed older. I never coald "WKI.T. OF A'l,T, TUB I!OT t HAVE IIKAKD.' vrnake out how he, with all his clover- ness, unselfishness and delightfulnsss altogether, could ever have proposed to suoh^an utterly inane specimen as _that Eva. Tlow is it that all the nicest men one Icnows throw themselves away on girls -•who are not hall' good enough for them? But I suppose us long as they don't know it, it's all right, I read Langton's hand, and I think 1 may say that 1 did not make it out a bit better than it really was, thong u he and the others all said I flattered him. Eva was'quite jealous, though she ought to have been pleased. The next person to come under inspection was a girl I did not know at •:ull, Mrs. Newton had brought her, and all that I could tell about her was "that she was very charming. Yet, now I come to think of it, I don't believe she was a bit pretty, only one cpuldn't help falling in love with her . at once. 1 told her character, and just as I .had finished 1 noticed a most peculiar line, one which one very seldom sees, very clearly and distinctly marked; and then I remembered having seen the •same mark in one of the other hands J had been doing. I turned to Langton and said: "Just .let me look at your hand again." And I looked carefully, and there, sure •enough, was the self-samo line, only hardly so distinct as that on the hand •of the girl—Vera Gray her name was. I said nothing at the time, but when ailjour friends had gone^.1 scandalized 'Ted by flying downstairs to the library and coming back armed with several primers arid other works on paliiJstry. "My good girl," said my husband, *'are you aware that it is, 13 o'clock, and that the servants are waging to put out the lights'?" "I can't help it," I cried in high cx- siteinent. "1 can't go to bod until I .have found out what this means." And I proceeded to tell him what I had noticed in the two hands. We searched 'through the various books, and were .just giying up when Ted exclaimed: l, of all the rot I bf ve j .'WJjOB tb?^ Jifltes a.re Q> Sexes, marriage w!ll eilsue.' gracious, child, if you go pillring off •yduf-friends like^thaf you wilt find yourself in the wrong box one of these days." Now Ted is one of those foolish people who are pleased to laugh at one's little attempts at aciertce t and, so forth; aHeast he does at mine, so I never take into consideration anything he says on the'subject. I said nothing to add fuel to his indignation and disgust, but captured the book and took it up to bed with me to Study at my leisure—leaving him to put the others away, by-the-bye. Now I most firmly made up my mind and stuck to it too, in spite of Ted, or any other stupid person—that the engagement between Langton and Evn would come to nothing, and I thought over it so much it became a conviction. Ted always says that it was fortunate that we left for Scotland just then, or he would have always declared that the events which followed were' due to ray interference. As it is, 1 feel quite innocent, as I only heard the story in fragments from the long . letters,wo used to receive from friends at home. r , We gathered a good deal from Langton's own letters to us both. At first these letters were full of Eva. Eva does this and Eva thinks that, and so on, until we got sick and tired of Eva. By degrees we noticed that Eva was less frequently quoted and Langton mentioned in one letter that he had been at the Newton's several times and that they had an awfully nice girl staying with them who sang divinely, etc. etc. No name was mentioned but of course I stuck to it that it was Vera Gray. Ted said: "Nonsense, the Ncwtons know do/.ens of girls. Why should it be she?" But it was Vera, as we heard afterward. Meanwhile we had letters now and then from Eva herself, which were always full of the preparations for the wedding; the trousseau, presents, and so on, with very little mention of Langton. We also saw an announcement in the paper that the marriage was to take place early in the next month. When Ted saw it he said: "Now I hope you are convinced." "Oh, no," said 1. " 'There's many a slip 'twixt cup and lip,' and they're not married yet." We'did not hear from Langtou for 'some''little, time after that, and it was only a week or two before the day fixed for the wedding that we had a short note of thanks for our present (which Ted would send, though I declared it would not be wanted), and the information that the happy (?) pair were going- to the South of France for their honeymoon. The wedding' day passed over—we could not go home for tlie event—and Ted made me furious by drinking the health of the bride and bridegroom at dinner. You see even then I did not give in, but said that till I saw the announcement in the paper I should not believe the wedding had come off. Ted flew at the Times every morning after for a week, hoping to convince me. We also investigated the Morning Post, Standard and every other paper we could get hold of, but no notice was forthcoming. At the end of the week t received a letter from a dear old maiden lady at home, from which the following is an extract: "Of course .you have heard of the scandalous behavior of the bride that was to have been—Eva Harrington, Fancy her running away on the very morning of the wedding day, and with one of tliose fast-looking officers, too. Shocking, indeed! I can't say Mr. Gore seems to take his loss much to heart. He started for Normandy yesterday, seemingly in the highest spirits." Imagine Ted's feelings and my triumph! I gloated over that letter, which, by the way, concluded with: "Mrs, Newton has adopted a charming niece, a Miss Gray. . They are all in Paris at present," "There," I cried, having read this out, "now perhaps you will apologize." "Oh, well, you know I always said they were not a bit suited to each other," and that was all the satisfaction I ever got out of Ted. A. few years after we went to pay a long visit to Mr. and Mrs, Langton Gore. Vera Gore is even nicer than Vera Gray had been, and I always maintain that I had something to do with bringing about that most eminently satisfactory match.—Winter's Magazine. THE LATOHIN0 A COM«*Lfek FO&M Off A Afosfc liemafkaltto Cnac fronted 1ft ft Kew i'oi'k Laugh* Without the Slightest Ontiae -\uci Can't Step. HE FIRST CASE publicly treated of a singular malady that has' considerable of ' the grotesque associated with it, as well as .more or less discomfort to the ttn* .happy victim, has just been expert enced in one of the prominent New York hospitals. The study of the nervous system always furnishes numberless surprises to the student, and while this particular phase has been encountered frequently elsewhere, •. it is thought the instance that has just been treated is the first example in this country. Certain nervous weaknesses affect the muscles about the mouth and produce -what is known as an inextinguishable laugh; a laugh that would arouse jealousy among the gods of Olympus. In a person so afflicted no muscular movement of the face is pos- fjlble without producing the most vio- HKGINNIJTO TO SAY "OOOD DAY." lent and apparently hearty laughter. Ask of such a one the simplest question, and the face will be at once convulsed with uncontrollable mirth; the wave-will start at the coimers of the lips, where, the usual pleasant'.twitch-. ing of the muscles - that accompanies the appreciation of a good thing will be noticed, the mouth will then open to its greatest capacity, and the eyes will be closed most genuinely. Before the question is answered that has given rise to all this outburst the head will be thrown back and the entire body racked with a spasm that in the normal individual indicates unlimited satisfaction. In the case under consideration the man, while being' under treatment for this aimoying peculiarity, was visited by a membur of his family, who told him of the death of a child upon which the man exclaimed: "Oh, that is very sad!" and at once burst forth into a terrible explosion of laughter, while no doubt he felt inclined and was disposed to weep s In an interview with the victim of this unhappy joyousnoss, the man explained that the weakness had been gradually growing upon him, and tha.t he had been forced, with its growth, to sacrifice all the enjoyments and amusements that formerly hnd made life agreeable to him; he said he had very reluctantly been compelled to gnve up going to the theater, because the slightest emotion felt by him at anything transpiring' upon the stage brought on such violent laughter that he attracted the attention of every one present, and it had finally reached the stage when all his efforts were bent on making his mind an absolute and entire blank, and he endeavored to, pass his time without thinking of anything,which, of course, being impossible, he was kept in a state of laughter almost his entire later life. in talking with a physician of the hospital on the subject it was learned that an accident will produce this nervous condition, and he hud come in contact with the case of a woman being treated in a hospital somewhere in Europe, who was paralysed over her entire body, but whose face still re- • A AIiMi uf "The weather is so bad, Brother Gibbons," suid one oj the pillars of the church,.*'that we can't expect au audienpe this evening." Evangelist Gibbons, reformed prize fighter, rose to his feet and looked over his sinall but faithful congregation. "I'm not in business for the gate money these days, brethren," he said, taking his place iu the pulpit. "There's nearly a dozen of us here and we'll pull off tho sermon anyhow." A JJl«i*i>i>olnto<l Uusbuuil. Sympathetic Friend—J hear that your partner has skipped with $2Q,- 000 of yonr monov. Business Man—Yes; but that's not all tho ungrateful scoundrel did. Friend—What olso did he do? Business Man — Ho neglected to take my wife along with him, and ho has boon flirting with her for the last six months, tho ungrateful hound,—Texas Sittings- TliO U»u»; Direction*. Old Maid— 'Is ho hurt much, doctor? Poetor—Not much, but pretty well shaken up, QM FINISHING SAYING "GOOD DAY. tained its sensitiveness, and the particular nerve which controlled its movements was supovsensitive to the same extent as that' of the man described. The result of accidents upoy the nervous system is of ten nniqiie, and while this particular effect is rarely produced, yet it has been of some recurrence, and is us remarkable in its way as was the case happening a few days ago, where a man being run over by * railroad train, which lacerated his leg>s very terribly, was thereby rendered absolutely impervious to any -sensation of pain by the complete paralyzation of every nerve in his body, arjid he calmly smoked a pipe and looked on indifferently while the surgeons amputated his limbs, and otherwise perforated what wouh} generally bsa^i jn§Tjpnprj$bhj pp.eratiofl, ap j£o4liee4 js a dttssSofl, bttt tile experience 6l tltft hospital patient rfemonstfates, thai whUe'lntightcr '.may be the - most de* iiffhtful attribute of human natttfe, it can bdcome a source oi cruet torfiiettbt EOWAR6 DOUQLA§ WHITE. .7U8TICK WHITE. Sketch ot tho SitccfltftdF of litatetiford on t!m Deficit. The new Justice of the Supremo court, Edward Douglns White, Is A native of Louisiana, and has always re- hided in the state. He was born in the pariah of La Fourche in November, 1345. His father was a man ot wealth and served one term as governoi' of Louisiana. Justice White was, educated at Mount St. Mary's, EinmittS" burgi Maryland, at the Jesuit college at New Orleans and at the. Catholic college at Georgetown, in the t)istrlct Of Columbia. He was through with hi* school and college life before he came of age, for he entered tho confederate army and served in the war. He was admitted to tho bar at the ajjjf&of. 23, ,ln-; 1808. After pursuing his profession f or six years he Was elected a state senator. From tho very first he took high rank at the bar, and his interest in his profession has always been greater than in anything else. Politics has been simply an avocation. What part he has played in public life has been incidental, and due to the close relation existing between the administration and the making of law. In 187S Mr. White was appointed associate justice of the Supreme court, of Louisiana. He did not again take an active part in politics until he was elected to the senate on the expiration of the term of Hon. James B. Eustis, who is now our ambassador to France. Mr. White's term in the senate began on March 4, 1801. When his name was under discussion in the executive session at which he was .confirmed the senators who spoke eulogized his professional capacity and personal character with an emphasis that denoted the high esteem which ho has gained in his service in the senate of less than three years. Mr. White's appointment, which was a great surprise to him as well as the country, was, made on Monday, Feb....10.•» On^the same day,,before adjournment, the senate confirmed him, the vote being unanimous. GALUSHA A. GROW. lie Was Speaker of the House In I-ln- ooln'H Time. ' It is worth while staying out of con H'ress for a generation in order to bo returned to it by 180,000 majority. That. is the experience which has -just been accorded to Galusha A. Grow, speaker of tho house of representatives during Lincoln's first years in the Presidency, and and now congressman at large from the state of Pennsylvania, which first sent him to Washington as David VVilmot's successor in JSf.l. Yet Mr. Grow is but just past 70;he was born in August, 1823. He was barely !.'i! years of age when first elected to congress, and was speaker before he was 40. He was then, as now, for ho shows OAI.USIIA. A. onow. few signs of age, a man of towering stature, and of something of the Roman senatorial cast of countenance. He lived up to his looks, too, and was one of the small band of northern congressmen who were always ready to take up tho gage to physical battle that their hot blooded southern colleagues were in those days fond of throwing down. Tho great measure with which Mr. Grow's name will be linked in history is the Homestead Act, passed May "0, Ia63, owing largely to his efforts as member and speaker. By it the public domain of tho United States was. thrown open to actual settlors in sections of 1(10 acres for the payment of a fee of $5 to $10, and the title to such land confirmed in the occupants by a five-year residence. It may be said that this law contributed as much t<i the settlement of the trans-Mississippi states as the application of steam to transportation, It has made in the generation of its existence !t, 000, 000 homes, the best guarantee of the prosperity and perpetuity of a state. Author of the Wilson 1)111, Previous to tho democratic national convention of J8!>:2 William L. Wilson was a comparatively obscure person, not being well known beypnd the con-> flnos of his congressional district i n West Virginia. Today he is one of tho best known men in the United States. What is more his name will go down into history ill connection with a turiffl bill which,, has caused more discussion than any measure of similar character in our national history. Mr. Wilson begac life as a poor boy ancl being a great seeker after knowledge naturally turned his attention to the school economics. He is not by any means a believer in free trade, the bill which bears his name embodying his, views on the subject, I.. WILSON. Mr, Longear— By tho way, did you ever know that largo ears are a sjgjj of generosity .' Bliss B,e»wt4— Qf COBT^ Jjr. L_pn,g, THE Bits wit A^m ease NA- SA'ffHE, St. Vfttttak** tony MermiJ^A tiaftfit* AnA tHfotf of AsslHahtc indlgttitAt.1? Declined by trnolo Petef—Kntlto Ad< vantages—Shrtfi> Points. Kindly Direction*. Footpad—Hold up y'r hnndal Lone Citizen—I haven't a cent with me. Just loaned all 1 had to a friend. Footpad (Sh disgust) — Go ahead. You'll find the idiot asylum three r.quarea to tl\' left. The Cn.ttlot'ii Fault. Old Lady—Your paper hasn't been delivered at my house for three days.' Editor—What? You haven't received it? It's an outrage! I see it all! Some one has boon stealing it! Old Lady—Oh, no. It's the fault of the carrier. It isn't worth stealing, you know.—New York Weekly. Too DniiKorons. The Boy—What'll, yer gib me, Uncle I'eter, ter hold yer hoss for yer? Uncle Peter—I'll gib yer er whack fri ilcr jaw. Yer rapscallion, yo' t'ink 1'se gwine ter trust er fiery animal like dis yere hoss wid yo'?—Puck. Had Studied Doll Anatomy. Little Ethel (after the party)—I don't feel well a bit. Mamma—rWhat ails you, dear? ; Little,Ethel—Tlio,, big:, weight ''that makes my ' eyes <opon an' shut has tumbled down on'to my 'tumick. She Know Hint. Mother (looking over the paper)— The man who keeps the candy store in the next block has committed suicide. Little Daughter (thoughtfully)—Bid he forget and give some one two sticks of candy for a penny? No thin ic to Hinder. Dora.—I'll tell you what let's do. Let's got up some private theatricals. Clara—I can't act. Dora—Neither can I. A Jnvnnilo Shampoo. Little Si.stci—I heard Mrs. Do Neat nay that tar soap was good for cleaning the hair. 1 wish I had some. Little Brother—Don't think we've got any; but I'll go to the street pavers and get yon some tar, and you can put soap on afterward, An Omitted Dotull. Mother — Dinner is over, . and the dessert is all gone. Didu' t I tell you to be in at (i o'clock? Boy (with an injured air) — You didn't tell mo that dinner would be ready at 0, llo WIIH Welcomo. Collector — 1 am collecting bills for Sugar, Spice & Co. Housekeeper (a Vassar graduate) — Collecting bills, are you? Very well; I have two or three of thoir bills which you are welcome to add to your col-. lection. — Now .York Weekly. IVitntod a Clmugc, Wifi'ors — How de do? BiJTers— Congratulate me, old boy! I'm the happiest man alive! I've got a wife who can run a whole house without the least bit of help. I married a servant girl. Witt'ers (a month later)— Hello, what's the matter? Trouble with your wife? Differs (dolefully) — Y-e-s, she lias given mo notice. Niitivo The telegraph linemen have it much easier in Africa than they do in civilized portions of the globe. — Judge. and l>lr l»dy. He— Are you good at conundrums? She— Yes. He— Well, here is one: "Jf I were to propose to you, what would you ISttte ttt .bfeg'y'Ot!? ednSeftt with y'dttr yotl? ' ' "Yds." - • '. ' .. "Ifa* shft promised td eldpe wltti ylSa il 1 i'ef used My consent?" "Bless you, York Weekly, Man's Heavy finedow. Mrs. D<s Science—If 1 am able carry the baby around, 1 should think you ought tb be. . f Prof. DC Science—^ou forget, dear, that nn average man has todarrjf nn .atmospheric pressure of nfteeft tons, while women, being smaller, not have to carfy over ten" of twelve tons. i the Croon-Eyed Monster. 1 Wife (with a determined air) 4 -! want to see that letter. • | Husband—What letter? ' "That one you just opened." I know by the handwriting that it is from a woman, and you turned t>ale when you read it. 1 will see^W'Oive it to me, sir!" "Hero it is. tt's your millinet'ai bill."—New York Weekly. No Help for It. Mr. Binks—I don't like the looks of that young man who calls to sde ClaKU Mrs. Binks—Ho looks exactly as you did when you first carno to see me. "Was I any such dude as that?" "Yes, you were, and yet I married you, in spite 'of all iny parents could say; and I am afraid that, in spite of all we pan say, our Clara will now be just as big a fool as I was."—New York Weekly. Sympathy. Lady—You look ill. Shop-girl—I have been sick, but am better now. The: doctor, said it was nervous prostration, from trying so hard to smile and look pleasant whoa I did not feel like it. "I can sympathize with you. I know allabouiit." "Have you ever worked in a store?" "Worse. I've moved in society." The Art of Advertising. Museum Agent—What's wrong with our new midget? He • does.n'it ,seem to draw. „.'/,. .;.,. . ' .:' -.'.,;Manager—Of course not. See what a mess you've made of the advertisements. You've put his height at three feet. Make it thirty-six inches and the people will come with a rush. Read the Kewspaperg. Wise Father—My son, if you would succeed in life, you must form two good habits. First, you must always, attend strictly to your business; and second, you must subscribe for a newspaper and read it every day. Son—Why should I take a newspaper? ' Wise Father—Because if you are not known as a newspaper reader, you will be constantly called away from your business to serve on juries. Potent Strnlua. PROF FAN65 KIMS OF SNflKE I'rof. Fangs (disgustedly) — Say, Crawl oj', if yer don't take "St Patrick'* Day" outer yer pianist's reppertory I'll t'row up me job. Every time de snakes hears dat I can't coax er drag 'em outer do box.—Puck, To»t at liouuty. Mrs. Upton—Seeing my daughter every day, I never noticed that sho was particularly nice-looking; but this afternoon I discovered that sho is entrancingly beautiful. Mr. Upton—Eh? This afternoon? Mrs. Upton—Yes. Wo entered % street car and two young gentlemen gave us their seats. Why She Slept, Housekeeper—You said that a,t Mrs. Workhard's you always got up in the* morning without falling. New Oirl—Yes'ni- "You have not done thivt here," "No'jn-' You see, at Mrs. Work' hard's the smell of the oookin' always waked me." No George— See here, Jack! You and I married about the same time and on similar incomes, but you are saving money, while J apa in debt, JJ.QW i§ it? Jack^Your wife is eeonomica,Uy inclined, isn't she? "Yes." ''Mine isn't. When she wants a cake, she buy's it of ft A I'ri»cUt*l Girl. Mr. DoBoarder— Miss Pruens — UdUtt, I have long' loved you, aij.d now I conceal my passion no longer. you be my wile? Landlady's .Daughter ~-- Wait, Mr. DeBpardur,

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