The Des Moines Register from Des Moines, Iowa on May 10, 1970 · Page 85
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May 10, 1970

A Publisher Extra Newspaper

The Des Moines Register from Des Moines, Iowa · Page 85

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Des Moines, Iowa
Issue Date:
Sunday, May 10, 1970
Page:
Page 85
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my toe catches on a cracked piece,of cement. I nearly trip, my progress is frustrated, and I would like to turn around and kick that piece of sidewalk that nearly stopped me. A 2-year old might yell'and scream, but I have had to learn that not all sidewalks are smooth, and some frustrations and barriers in life must be taken in stride. - / , • No one has-ii perfect batting average. Whether it is completing a ^successful business deal, enjoying a movie, or having a plane arrive on time, there is a certain percentage of success with which one cari be happy. 5. CORRECT MANY ELEMENTS IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT; ADJUST TO OTHER IRREMEDIABLE SITUATIONS, I am absolutely convinced that the world is filled with many more wonderful opportunities than a person can see for himself. Patients have told me thousands of times, "That is impossible for me to do." I don't want to call them liars, but I am benevolently skeptical of the truth of what they are saying. I have seen again and again a person change both himself and his environment in ways that he had originally-felt impossible. Unrealistic Day-Dreaming Leads To More Disturbance The other side of the coin is that no matter how one may wish to correct certain conditions, practical considerations may prevent doing so. Physical illness, family responsibilities and financial limitations may impose limits from which there is little chance of escape. If a person then engages in unrealistic daydreaming or hopes for magic (e.g., a pill will be discovered or someone will leave me a million dollars) the realities of his life will be even more disturbing. 6. ACCEPT CERTAIN ROLES YOU MUST PLAY. Eric Berne, the San Francisco psychiatrist, has wittily detailed our role-playing difficulties in his best-selling Games People Play. He says the child in us intrudes when we are hoping to play the adult, and vice versa, with all manner of mischievous results. Every one of us has a responsibility to be male or female, husband or wife, parent, taxpayer, homeowner, landlord, or tenant. At times I am the authority, at other times I am supervised. It is often not easy to carry through on obligations in these many difficult roles. Sometimes events thrust you into a position you think you can't possibly fill, like giving a talk on pornography at the P.T.A., or saying a few kind words about your miserable boss at his retirement dinner. 7. DO NOT PUSH YOURSELF BEYOND YOUR LIMITS. If you try, you can always find a Bach or an Einstein or a Schweitzer with whom to compare yourself. And then you can feel woefully inadequate about yourself. What causes one to make unreasonable demands on himself? It is usually not an ordinary desire to do a good job. More likely, it is some old parental pressure he is trying to meet, or a compulsion to compensate for some deeply felt inadequacy. Pep Pills and Tranquilizers A Special Kind of Pollution **j We are beginning now to apply ecological concepts to the inner psychological life of a person. By polluting our natural environment, or by interfering with the spontaneous processes of decay and renewal, it is becoming clear that we pwbably damage future growth. If the human beingis^artificially stimulated, with. 'pills, bit* artificially relaxed with tranquilizers and sleeping pills, this is a special kind of pollution. The balance of human nature can no more tolerate such pollution than can our air and water. * * * Those, are the seven guidelines on adjusting to a world as it is. 1 offer these next five for those who would make some changes in that world. 8. EXERCIS.E WILL POWER. Will power went out of style about a generation ago, because Sigmund Freud rightly punctured the ridiculous Victorian overemphasis on "I am the master of my fate." Now it is making a (Continued on pages 16 and 17) KEJMZ P > WARDROBE NAKED SALADS DES MOINES SUNDAY REGISTER-MAY 10, 1970-PAGE IS

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