The Des Moines Register from Des Moines, Iowa on August 29, 1975 · Page 13
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August 29, 1975

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The Des Moines Register from Des Moines, Iowa · Page 13

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Des Moines, Iowa
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Friday, August 29, 1975
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Page 13
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HOME & FAMILY Mosquitoes see Erma: Attack! f's CHrf" By ERMA BOMBIECK I was lying in bed * last night when I was awakened by a deaf. ening roar of about 97 decibels over my head. The entire bed shook as I clutched my bedsprings in fear. A look at the ceiling confirmed my suspicions. There was a mosquito in the bedroom. My husband says I overreact to mosquitos. That is because he does not understand that my picture and full description is posted on 'the walls of a mosquito post office somewhere . listed among the "TEN MOST WANTED." During my lifetime, I have done a lot of thinking and scratching about mosquitos, having been savagely attacked by them on more than one occasion. They are nobody's fools. In my heart T know that once I am snotted. if it is a male he whisoers, "Go pet her. Mother." (Since onlv females need the blood to lav egcs.l Mother defies descriotion but she is somewhere between Ma Barker and The Flv That Ate The Poconos. Sho raises her rieht leg. which serves as a powerful antenna and is immediately in' contact with a network of mosquitoes throughout the world. I have known messages of my whereabouts to be intercepted in South America ("Un Norteamericano el chubbo. Attack!"), Tokyo ("Kamikaze mosquitos man your samurai swords. Honorable target: Bombeckl"), Germany ("Achtung meine Herren, spritz und weight watchers dropout, Social Security number . . ."), and Chicago ("Get the turkey!"). Within minutes, there is a task force in the sky that makes the invasion of Normandy look like an impulse. Mosquitoes don't strike right away. They play with me. Whirling around my ears, nesting in my hair, sharpening their proboscis brazenly on my nose. Then they fly up to a height of ten feet, rev up their motors and come in for the kill. Those for whom mosquitos have no appetite are quick with the home remedies. I have basted my body with repellents only to have mosquitoes line up like I was a revolving bowl of chip dip. On the advice of a friend, I tried garlic breath as a deterrent. (The Italian mosquitoes loved it and couldn't keep their needles out of me.) Peeking out of the covers last night I could see several mosquitoes positioned at 11 o'clock. It would only be a matter of seconds before they began to dive. In desperation, I put my curler bonnet on my husband and crawled on my hands and knees out of the bedroom. There's no such thing as an honorable withdrawal. WIREPHOTO (AP) Feathered friend Maude Adams, a model and motion picture actress, models a black satin pillbox hat with a pinwheel of backlc feathers and a feather boa around her shoulders. The designs, shown this week in New York City, were created by Jack McConnell Boutique. Like them all lovingly Strictly far Dads By (HARUi: Slli;i)l> Do you like one of your children more than others? Today's letter is from a worried dad: "D ear Dr. Shedd: I wonder if there are other fathers with my problem. It's how I feel about our baby. The poor little fellow cries almost all the time, day and night. My wife says it's colic, and he'll get over it. Meanwhile I don't know how to handle it. To be perfectly honest, I resent the whole thing. Of course, he's miserable, but so am I. Maybe it's because our other two wen: nothing but fun. At least that's how I remember them. But I'm having a tough time even liking this guy. Now isn't that ridiculous? He's so little, and I know he can't help himself. Any suggestions?" Yes, 1 hear from other dad.s in the same struggle. So you're not alone. • Plenty of dads feel like you do. Moras too. But I think somehow the Lord put mothers together so they tune it out more easily. You're on the first step up when you admit how you feel. I think talking it over with your wife is a real plus. Then don't be surprised if this goes on through all your fathering. No matter the age, human beings do prefer certain kinds of personalities to others. So even when your children are grown and out of the house, you may be feeling some of these same tremors. Then here's something else. No dad is always going to be consistent. His moods fluctuate. His preferences change from week to week. Year to year. So 1 have ambivalent feelings about my five. YOU will, too. Let's face it. We won't like them alike. And our moods may even change from day to day. But we've come a long way in our fathering if we try to treat them lovingly even when we don't like them. The Des Moines Register • Friday, Aug. 29,1975 / Page 13 John Qulncy Adams Skinny dipper Grover Cleveland Served as hangman Ulysses S. Grant First golfer Herbert Hoover Marriage described 'Stories About the Presidents' By SAUL KOHLER © NtwhouM Ntwi Itrvleo WASHINGTON, D.C. - Anne Royall was a Washington reporter who wanted to interview the president, John Quincy Adams, but getting to him was rough because Mr. Adams wasn't seeing newspaper people at that point in his term of office. But Miss Royall learned that President Adams used to go skinny dipping in the Potomac River at 4 o'clock every morning, piling his clothes on a rock. Then, after a bracing swim, Mr. Adams would dress and return to the Oval Office to read his Bible and his newspapers until the presidential day began officially. One mofningrshe waited for President Adams to go near the water, and while he was swimming, she sat on his clothes. He spotted her as he was preparing to leave the Potomac, and her price for turning her back while he dressed was an exclusive interview. The incident is recorded in a collection of trivia in a delightful new paperback book called "Stories About the Presidents," the third of the "Amazing But True" series by Doug Storer (Pocket Books, Inc., $1.50). The book has a chapter for each President and, as a concession to the diehards from Maryland and elsewhere, one on John Hanson — whom many people Net result over register Hints from Heloise By HELOISE CRUSE Dear Heloise: My comfortable chair sits right by my floor furnace register in the summer. When I knit or crochet, I am always dropping my needles down into the register and cannot retrieve them easily. So I measured my register, cut a piece of nylon net one inch larger each way and placed it neatly over the register and tucked it down under the edges. No more lost needles! And I only have to change the net once each fall. O.M. • • Dear Heloise: I would like to add something about cleaning out and rearranging your kitchen cabinets. I utilize that space in the back of my kitchen cupboard by using a carton. I put all my pots and pans in a 17" x 12" x 7" deep box. All I have to do is pull out the box and there are my pans. It saves a lot of bending and searching for those way in the back. M. Martin • Dear Heloise: My family loves the popular bundt cakes and so do I — except when they want to stick to me pan. Several months ago I discovered if you grease your pan heavily with shortening and use sugar instead of flour, the,cake never sticks and they come out so crispy and yummy on the outside and so moist on the inside. I've not had a single failure and I get many compliments. Janitb Moore • Dear Heloise: Now that we are finding ways to recycle so many things, here is one for the .many addressed return envelopes one receives in the mail. Cut a piece of colored paper, the size of the printed area on the envelope. Paste it over the printed area. Stick a gummed label over it to use for writing the address on. Now put a stamp over the righthand corner where the permit stamp is and you have an attractive, decorated envelope. This is a good rainy day project for the children. Alice Snyder • Dear Heloise: Disposable tablecloths make an attractive and inexpensive gift wrap for large packages. L.W. still consider the real, honest first President of the United States. Sad story One of the sadder stories depicts Ulysses S. Grant dictating his memoirs to Mark Twain in a whisper as he lay dying of throat cancer some years after he left the White House — and finally passing notes to Twain in a desperate effort to provide for his widow and family, since he had been swindled out of his money in a stock deal. Grant/was the first president on record to be exposed to golf, according to Storer. He watched a duffer swinging wildly at the tee for awhi then asked an aide: "But what's the little ball for?" Herbert Hoover is described at his Quaker marriage conducted by a Roman Catholic priest the night before he and his bride sailed for China on a geological assignment. For Richard Nixon, the author outlines his "six crises" and calls Watergate his seventh. This is the only mention of the affair. "Public" President And for President Ford, Storer says frankly that the thirty-eighth chief executive "stands as the most 'public' President we have ever had; he has no secrets." The reason, of course, is the intensive inquiry to which Mr. Ford was subjected by the FBI and both houses of Congress prior to his confirmation as Vice-President. The author enjoys reciting "firsts," and President Grover Cleveland holds the record. Cleveland was the first man to occupy the White Houses lor two unconnected terms, the first to undergo a cancer operation during his presidency and the first to havn served as a hangman (while Sheriff of Erie County, N.Y.J. Richard Nixon 'Six Crises' outlined Gerald Ford Has-no secrets "blue heather'' separates to blend with the autumn mood Jack Winter switch-mates in misty "blue heather." Many alternatives for dawn to dusk wear. Of machine washable polyester/acrylic with polyester co-ordinates. 10 to 18.1. Fashion shirt jacket with solid insets. $40. Tri-color stripe sleeveless turtle shell. Blue/grey/beige. S, M, L. $18. Pull-on rjant with mock fly front. $22. 2. Signature pant-top in off white with dainty blue design. $20. Madonna pull-on pant with mock fly front and tab fastening. $20 Sports Shop; second floor, Downtown, Merle Hay Mall and most stores. Phone 244-1112, ext. 314. On mail orders add 3% tax in Iowa, 80c postage and handling for each. Please give account number. YOUNKERTS SATISFACTION ALWAYS Shop Downtown 10 to 5:30, Merle Hay Mill 10 to 9 RENEW your Iowa Drivers License on our 4th floor, downtown

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