The Baytown Sun from Baytown, Texas on April 28, 1986 · Page 5
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April 28, 1986

The Baytown Sun from Baytown, Texas · Page 5

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Baytown, Texas
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Monday, April 28, 1986
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Page 5
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THE BAYTOWN SUN Monday, April 2t, 1916 5-A Dear Meg Family relations difficult in workplace DEAR MEG — I'm happily married and have a beautiful son who is 14 months old. I have a big problem: My husband is my mother's boss and she hates him. She claims he makes a special point of not promoting her or giving her the raises she deserves because they're related. She doesn't even want him over for holiday dinners. She talks behind his back and I'm caught in the middle. What can I do? - DIVIDED LOYALITIES, SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. DEAR DIVIDED — Taking out personal resentments at the work place doesn't make it. Tell your mother if she has a legitimate grievance against her boss that she should take it up with the appropriate agency just like any other employee. Your husband may indeed be bending over backward in his treatment of her to avoid charges of favoritism. But if, as I suspect, her nose is out of joint because she's not getting preferential treatment, tell her she's off base. Suggest that she look for another job where her work will be judged without nepotism clouding the issue. As for holiday dinners, why don't you host the next one? Make it clear that bad-mouthing her host is out. (I bet she comes and keeps her mouth shut. DEAR MEG — My parents died 10 years ago this month in a plane accident. Every year at this time I have terrible nightmares. I hear my dad's voice calling my name and I start screaming and calling him back. I can see his face clearly. I walk in my sleep, and when I wake up, I'm in a cold sweat and crying. I'm 16 and my foster parents say I'm going crazy. They threw out all the pictures of my real family when I came here. The nightmares are getting worse. What should I do? — BAD DREAMS, WALLA WALLA, WASH. DEAR BAD DREAMS — Talk to your family social worker immediately about getting grief counseling. Your nightmares, screaming and sleepwalking are signs that you are still struggling to deal with the death of your parents. Your foster parents are wrong. These psychological ways of coping are indications of sanity, notcraziness. Photos and other mementos of your mother and father would help you to accept their loss, yet treasure your memories of them. DEAR MEG — I've given my wife and family a hard time in the past few years because we've moved so often. (I work for a large corporation.) That means pulling the kids out of school, making new friends and establishing relationships that are broken when we have to pick up and move again. The kids have adjusted to this way of life, but my wife hasn't. I'm afraid she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She's been tired for months and has trouble doing everyday things. I try to help, but she won't let me. I'm afraid she's going to crack up and I don't know what to do. What exactly is a nervous breakdown and what symptoms should a person look for? — FEELING BAD, RICHMOND, VA. DEAR FEELING — "Cracking up," "freaking out," have a "nervous breakdown" are all laymen's terms for the "can't- cope syndrome" or clinical depression. Symptoms include feelings of guilt, anxiety, insomnia, an inability to plan and to relate to others. If your wife needs professional help, please see that she gets it,. You can't pull her out of it yourself. DEAR MEG — I'm 20 and I've been secretly dating my 39-year- old, divorced physics professor. His daughter, who's my best friend, found out two weeks ago. Since then she has been threatening to tell my parents. I think Marcia should mind her own business, but if she doesn't, I can't afford to have my parents find out. And I don't want our friendship to end. What should I do? (I love this man now, but will I always?) — YOUNGSTOWN, OHIO. DEAR YOUNG — Who knows! One way to find out is to get it out in the open and see if it survives the scrutiny of people who know and love you, including your family. My guess is that your professor-friend is keeping the affair in the dark because he knows it will backfire when it's brought to light. He doesn't need a multiplication table to know he's twice your age, but maybe only half as smart. If your friend wants to blow the whistle on anyone, she should start with her father. Your parents are your business. DEAR MEG — You've lost your marbles, telling boys it's OK to wear makeup and earrings! If God wanted them to be girls, He would have made them girls. I wouldn't want my grandchildren running around with people like that. Please, Meg, there are enough crazy people in the world now. We don't need any more. — DISGUSTED IN DAYTON. DEAR D.I.D. — Makeup and earrings are no more exclusive to women today than skirts are, which is to say not at all. Ask a Scots guardsman or a Greek soldier in his kilt or an Indian chief in his body paint and earrings if he's crazy or feels like a girl. Youth has always had the power to upset its elders. As Deems Taylor put it: "God help us if the younger generation ever stops being the despair of its grandparents!" Sounds pretty sane to me. Meg Whitcomb is a columnist far Newspaper Enterprise Association Expensive exotic oils tested by Consumer Reports' staff By CONSUMER REPORTS "Exotic" oils in pricey, baroque-labeled bottles may seem very tempting, especially if you're bored by the sameness of supermarket salad oils. But Consumer Reports' food technologists say that you may not.be impressed with the oils once you've tried them. The food technologists recent- •ly tested samples of the "gourmet" oils. Five were fancy imported "extra virgin" olive oils. A "virgin" sesame oil, two hazelnut oils and one walnut oil were also tested. The "gourmet" products were purchased from Balducci's — a specialty shop in New York City — and were priced from $5.50 to an astonishing $14.95 for bottles ranging, in most cases, from about a pint to less than a quart. All of the oils were evaluated by expert taste testers. "Extra virgin," in the world of olive oil, means that the oil comes from a first pressing of ripe olives. That pressing, especially if done very lightly, supposedly produces the best oil — pale greenish-yellow, with little or no olive character. In general, the taste testers didn't find the extra-virgin olive oils sufficiently superior to the more common olive oils. • Large 1.3 cu.ft. capacity • Defrost setting speeds up meat when frozen foods are on the menu • Rotary Control as easy to use os setting your clock Model MW8000 OPEN ALL DAY SATURDAY .A Lundcj Pressure Washer & Airlessco Paint Sprayer Rent a pressure wasner and eliminate Rent an Airlessco painl sprayer save QQ-i ol preparation lime 90"«of oainlino time Paula d Duifie O'Brien owner* 161 ON. Main 427-5629 GET PREPARED BY BRINGING ALL YOUR FINE CLOTHES TO US FOR SPRING CLEANING... ALL OUR DRY CLEANING AND LAUNDRY WORK IS DONE LOCALLY ON PREMISE 500 S. 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