The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on February 2, 1967 · Page 40
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 40

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Thursday, February 2, 1967
Page 40
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Page 40 article text (OCR)

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Illinois Phone GRASSROOTS GLEANINGS The Weekly Valley Herald of Chaska, Minn., said that a young man applying for a police job was asked what he would do to break up a hostile crowd? "Take up a collection," he replied. • • • The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work, says the Tri-County Truth of Churubusco, Ind. • • • The Angola (Ind.) Herald complains, "Wisdom comes with age — too late to dp any good." • • • A bachelor is a man who did not have a car when he was going to college, claims The Reinbeck (Iowa) Courier. • • • The Salisbury (Mo.) Press Spectator tells about the big city reporter who stopped to visit a friend who ran a little country weekly. The city reporter asked, "How can you keep up your circulation in a town where everyone already knows what everyone else is doing?" The editor replied, "They know what everyone's doing, all right, but they read the paper to see who's being caught at it." • • • Census figures show that 30 per cent of the female population of the United States is over 55 years of age, reports the Gladwin (Mich.) County Record. All of these mature" gals must be in your area, because we don't have any of them around here. • • • A deficit is what you have when you haven't as much as when you had nothing, says The Parkersburg (Iowa) Eclipse. • • • "A hurricane is nothing but a big loud wind, and they should name them after men," claims a reader of the Tipton (Ind.) Daily. Tribune. • • • It is more important to know where your kids are at night than where your ancestors were when the Mayflower sailed, advises the O'Brien County Bell of Primghar, Iowa. • • • The ideal marriage, says The Watertown (Wis.) Daily Times, exists when a fellow marries a cute gal and a good housekeeper. Unfortunately, there are laws against bigamy. • • • The Denison (Iowa) Bulletin tells about the letter from a credit manager that read, "Your account has been on our books for over a year and we would like to remind you that we have now carried you longer than vour mother did." • • • No matter what the manufacturer says, a new car is not broken in until you use it to take the kids on a picnic, says The Houston (Mo.) Herald-Republican. • • • In case there is someone you have been doubtful about, « h * e £ro° kston (Minn.) Daily Times offers the following: A thief gams possession of the stolen goods by stealth and secrecy and a robber by violence or force." • • • The world's most frequently sung songs, according to the Weekly Valley Herald of Chaska, Minn., are: Happy Birthday To You; For He's A Jolly Good Fellow: and Auld Lang Syne. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah • • • At the end of the last football season, the Chronicle- Herald of Macon, Mo., said that a coach's career could be summed up in seven words — Desired, wired, hired, admired, tired, mired, fired. • • • There are 200,000 service stations in the United States, reports the Winner (S.D.) Advocate. This comes as no surprise to those of us who travel with children. • • • The Cavalier (N.D.) Chronicle says, "Here's to the wife who laughs at her husband's jokes — not because they are clever, but because she is." • • • The Mantis, says The Manning (Iowa) Monitor, is the only known insect that can turn its head and look over its shoulder like a human, wash its face like a cat, take food trom your hand like a dog, and bend over and drink like a norse. This sounds like somebody we should know. *mm mf.

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