The Saint Paul Globe from Saint Paul, Minnesota • Page 20

20 THE ST. PAUL GLOBE THE GLOBE PUBLISHERS. Paper Paul. Entered at Postoffice at St. Paul, as Second-Class Matter.

-f TELEPHONE CALLS. 1065 Main. Editorial. 78. Main.

Twin 1065: Editorial, 78. CITY SUBSCRIPTIONS. By Carrier. 1 1 mo. 16 mos.

Dally only .40 $2.25 $4.00 Daily and .60 2.75 5.00 Sunday 15 .75 1.00 COUNTRY SUBSCRIPTIONS. By Mail. 1 mo. mos. 112moa.

Daily only $7750 $3.00 Daily and Sunday .35 2.00 4.00 Sunday 75 1.00 BRANCH OFFICES. New York, 10 Spruce street, Charles H. Eddy in Charge. Chicago. No.

405 Schiller W. B. Lefflngwell Sons in Charge. It to inn the Baity The Increase In the Total Cash Advertising Carried by The Globe for the Last Five Months Over the Same Months in WO2: March 2 9 Inches April 6 7HB Inches May Inches June $, Inches July 3 9 457 Inches Total Increase. H9p979 Increasing Business With the Globe Increases Business for Business Men.

16, 1903. A CROSS TOWN CAR LINE. There is nothing that St. Paul needs more today than a cross town car line. It has needed one for many years, but such a convenience has now become indispensable.

It is necessary for the public comfort. Viewed intelligently, it is also needed by the street railway company for the transaction of its business economically. If the company cannot be made to see that, as It has proved deaf to all appeals in the past, then our citizens should bring public opinion to bear in an effective way. An exhaustive article in our local columns presents th facts of the situ- ation so clearly that everyone can understand them. The need of this line does not require any proof.

It Is felt sharply- by a very large portion of our people. Hundreds of thousands of trips are made every year which put the passenger to the greatest inconvenience, costing him time and money and comfort, and covering miles of superfluous transportation, that would resolve themselves into a few minutes' travel if the cross town line were in operation. We need it, first, for purposes of ordinary communication. We doubt if there is another city in the country of the size of St. Paul which doeg not possess this convenience.

Our street railway lines spread like the radii of a circle from the business center. At the extremity of these lines lie the great residential districts. Those who to travel only between home and business are accommodated. But the vast bulk of travel that now exists between neighborhood and neighborhood is compelled to ride down town on one line and back on another, or to take to the sidewalks. We need it, again, for the service of the immense volume of traffic to and from Como park.

Thousands upon thousands of people seek that resort every day during our long outing period. The time that should be given to rest and recreation is consumed instead in two long trips on different lines, with a transfer between. It is hardly an exaggeration to say that double the number of people would visit this beautiful spot if they could do so without crushing inconvenience. We need it, most of all, for the daily service of the districts lying along West Seventh street and the districts served by the two interurban lines. Men who find employment in one and can find cheap and comfortable homes in another are placed at as great a disadvantage as if they lived in Minneapolis and worked in St.

Paul. The want of a cross town line is a standing injury to the workingman; and It is one of the strongest influences at work today to retard the growth and limit the prosperity of the city. It does not seem to us that the question of the proper route to be selected ought to cause any division of opinion at this time; in fact there ought not to be any such question. When we get to the point of a second oross town line, then the best street for It may be debatable. But for the immediate present, for the line that ought to be built at once.

Dale street is obviously the desirable and necessary route. This Is true because Dale street runs throughout through a thickly settled district where patronage would be large; because it crosses every line of railway now operating of consequence save one; because it taps or touches all the principal portions of the city lying west of Wabasha; because. Dale street being unpaved, it would involve no extra expense and would not interfere with future improvements; and because, which is a most important the railroad tracks on that street are already bridged, and there would be no difficulty there to postpone the work. One question at a time is enough. The people of St.

Paul have been waiting a long time for a cross town line, to which they are fully entitled. Let us press for it at Dale street, and we are convinced that the building of it will be followed in a few years by the construction of others parallel to it and farther westward. For. in reality, it is the strangest feature of the situation that the street railway company is blind to its own advantages in the matter, which the facts would quickly put to the proof. As a mere economy 1 in operation, taking from thejines now running an enormous share of the travel that overcrowds them and transferring it to the new route, it would be an actual saving.

The economy of carrying hosts of people one mile Instead of three would at once more than compensate for the cost cf building and operating the line that should at the same time accommodate the public. This consideration ought to have furnished St. Paul long ago with a cross town car line, without the necessity of agitation or petitioning on their part. But, since the railway company has been insensible to their interests as well as to. its own, it Is time for them to move.

The subject should be taken up by the Commercial club, the Chamber of Commerce and other representative bodies. It should be urged by our people as a whole, from whom The Globe invites the fullest and freest expression of opinion. Those communities thrive best that do most to help themselves. We repeat that nothing can do more to push St. Paul ahead than the building of a cross town car line.

The people will get it if they insist upon it- They should start the ball rolling and not let it come to rest until this crying want has been satisfactorily met. THE OUTLOOK FOR GOOD MUSIC. It's a safe statement that the music lover who remained in St Paul throughout the musical season last year was not surfeited. For the paucity of musical attractions In the earlier part of the season there was, of course, that one' good excuse, the lack of a suitable hall. But even when that was supplied the season brightened very little.

Those who desired t6 refresh themselves, and had the courage for the trip and the brawn for clinging to the strap, took the trolley ride to Minneapolis. Others remained at home and lamented. A few gratefully received the crumbs brushed from the lap of Minneapolis and appeared content. That St. Paul has musical culture nobody doubts; that her musical past has been a worthy one no one can deny; but that In the last two seasons she has been losing her place, the high place she has gained for herself as a musical center; air who are interested in the matter.must sorrowfully admit.

Local clubs have done excellent work in bringing to St. Paul foreign musicians whom the world has delighted to honor, and those same clubs have ungrudgingly given'their aid to foster home talent that has proved itself worthy of such assistance. But committees of those various clubs all declare that to bring to St. Paul an outof-town artist, however famous, is a hazardous undertaking; and that even success hardly compensates for the hard work entailed. The general public alone can insure St.

Paul a brilliant musical season. Such organizations as the St. Paul Choral club, the Mozart club and Schubert club each reach a part of this general public, and the first-named club has been fortunate In interesting the public as a whole in its productions; but the three organizations have not heretofore combined to bring outof-town musicians to St. Paul, or to make their visits, when they do come, a financial success. The prospects for the coming season are encouraging.

There promise of some excellent symphony concerts, and, since there is an adequate auditorium, there is every reason to expect that these will be supplemented by other attractions. Close co-operation on the part of the musical clubs of the town and a generous patronage of the general public would make the coming season surpass in brilliancy any. St. Paul has known, and there is no good reason now for suspecting that these two things will be lacking. PAYING THE PRIZE FIGHTER.

Ten thousand men contributed a total of $54,000 to see a couple of trained fighting machines beat each other Friday night in San Francisco. Seventy-three thousand people paid something like aTitfndred thousand dollars for -the privilege of seeing the American Derby. The comparison is not to the credit of the sport lovers of this country. The enormous sum paid in admissions to the ringside in San Francisco was contributed generally by men who could not afford the expenditure. The net- result.to--the contributors was the stimulation of passions that might better lie dormant.

The manly art of self-defense is not to be condemned. On the it Is well for man to to take care of himself in the struggle life. But there is no assurance that a single man in all the multitude tliat hatched the battle between Jeff wes and Corbett was benefited to the amount of his investment. Perha- no harm came to them. A bloodK arid scientific contest in which prowess and general- xiUS ST.

PAtTt'GLOBE, SUNDAY, AUGUST 16," ship in the highest forms are exhibited cannot do much injury to the morals of the observer. The objection to the San Franscisco affair is that the men engaged in It were so enormously overpaid. James J. Jeffries, if there was no such profession as pugilism, would have worked at the forge all his life very likely. He would have produced by his labor in the course of thirty years something like three hundred thousand dollars' worth of iron work, and would have earned for himself less than thirty thousand dollars, unless he had developed into a much better blacksmith than he gave promise of being when he became a fighter.

He takes for his share of the profits of the fight just about as much money as he could have earned in the course of his working life if he had remained in the producing class. Corbett gets quite as much, the loser's share, as he would have taken in all his life had he remained a petty clerk in a bank. The development of the fighting game has made it tremendously expensive to its patrons and destructive to its followers. The money divided by the fighters will, if a wave of reform does not engulf the heroes, be speedily dissipated. The money that is paid by the public for the maintenance of horse racing is not so completely lost.

Practically all of it is put into circulation through legitimate channels. The public contribution to the prize-fighting game goes' to swell the total expenditure for birds and bottles on the part of men whose natural appetite was for beer and sausage. PRACTICAL CHRISTIANITY. The plan for a church in Chicago that will contain a roof garden, a gymnasium and a library open day and night is considered sufficiently novel to be telegraphed across the country and printed as a bit of interesting news. But the conception of Christianity that it conveys ought to be the commonest' and most familiar of all.

The great leaders and saviors of men are coming closer to the idea, long forgotten or ignored, but the very vital center of any worthy faith, that the religion by which a man is to be saved must be one that is in close touch and intimate association with his daily life. Such was, by precept and example, by teaching and by personal touch, the message of the founder of Christianity. And in all the centuries when men were trying to make of religion something formal and apart, something divided by a line of sacrilege from the avocations and needs and pleasures, of all people at all times, they were simply trying to get away from Him. The religious organizations which have proved most enduring and whose influence upon their followers is most powerful and permanent are those that have refused to ignore the human side of their work in the world. The.

live churches of the day are those that follow this pattern. It will be a revelation to those who remember the dryas-dust services of fifty years ago and the narrow limitations of churches to read, for example, accounts of what Dr. Rainsford has been doing in New York city. It indicates the quality and scope of religious work for the future. To the truly Christian church the' whole man belongs.

It is not enough that he acknowledge a formal connection on the great anniversaries and solemn occasions of life, and pay proper reverence upon stated days, but that he look to it as his home and to its conductors as his best advisers and friends. The church which establishes that relation wins a hold that nothing can shake off, and exerts an influence as powerful spiritually as it is pervading in the affairs of everyday life. There is no more reason why church should not provide places for wholesome recreation, places for healthy physical development, places for industrial education, places where employment may be sought and found, places to satisfy all the actual needs of life than there is why it should be condemned for maintaining a Sunday school. It is the whole man and his whole life that the churches need and seek; and only in proportion as they can lay hold upon it may they feel that they are actually ministering permanently to the eternal and spiritual element within him. Toward this ideal the churches are working and will work.

It requires immense resources, high executive ability ana utter consecration. But the world has them all. If they have not always been at the service of the church, then it may be asked whether that may not be because the church has not called for them or believed In them as its ministering angels. Just as to save the child from the gutter is to empty a prison cell somewhere, so to fashion a life on simple, sane and wholesome lines is not infrequently to save a soul. It is not easy to determine whether the influence of this practical form of Christianity Is greater upon this life or upon that which is to come.

For the sake of either it is the pattern after which the work of all our churches should be molded. THE HARD LUCK OF THE MIKE FAMILY. The Globe nominates Deet Mike, of St. Paul, for a place in the New York Sun's gallery of the oddly named. Mr.

Pod Dismuke and Mr. Dink Botts are warned to look to their laurels. The misfortunes that have overtaken the Mike family entitle the members of the house to more than passing consideration, and if they had not laid hold on fame of some sort when the founder of their tribe picked out a name for 'fcill would untoward fortune have assured them more than passing Perhaps thefe 'is something in the name of Mike arouses the savage instincts of the man in the street any event members of the Mike family have, within a very short period, been made tHe victims of savage and unwarranted assaults. The Mikes manfully to wrest a living a frowning world. Mike, pere, was working with pick ana shovel when a fellow laborer, without preliminary notice, raised his pick and dropped it on the head of Mike, who forthwith went to the hospital and his pay stopped.

While the head of the house was still prone on his back Sadit Mike, of tender years, engaged in vending newspapers, was savagely kicked by a brute of a man thing end spent some weeks in the same hospital with his father. He was not yet recovered when the last of the Mikes, yclept Deet. also a news vender, was kicked by a man whom he solicited to buy his papers. He was taken to the hospital and placed In the cot lately vacated by his unfortunate father. It would appear that the cup of the Mikes had been filled to overflowing with the bitter.

There may be nothing in a name, but it seems that Mike, as a surname, is hoodooed. Let us hope that the hoodoo will now fasten itself upon the assailants of the Mikes, and that Deet and Sadlt will grow up to adorn that eminence in public life to which the oddity of the Mike family patronymic entitles them. AN EXPENSIVE LUXURY. We present in local columns this morning a summary of the work done by the board of equalization which closed Its sessions yesterday. As.

a vaudeville performance, the meetings of the board have had considerable vogue. As contributing to the pocket money of its members, each of whom has received $72 for his labors, It was a success. As )Eaif as the public is concerned it appears to have been an expensive luxury. The meetings this body have mainly served: as occasion for the delivery of stump speches, for personal glory or political purpose, by a few of its most" active and vociferous members. Of the three men who were particularly loud in their denunciations of men and interests in this community, Mr.

Nash, who made himself conspicuous, is not assessed for any personal property return whatever. Tho- total assessment of the three la $375. That is their stake in the community which they have been upon saving at $3 each per diem per save. "The board was in session, at an expense of $33 per day to the taxpayers of the county, for twenty-four days. It cost, in all, $792.

On the last day it raised the assessment of the Northern Pacific railroad heavily; an increase whose legality is doubtful and which will be contested. Even if valid, this action could have been taken the first day instead of the last. The total, work accomplished ih the other twen-, ty-three days was the decrease, of assessment roll by an amount approximating $10,000. The work of the assessor was'a'dmitted to be very satisfactory by everybody in the least familiar with Its details. It was thorough, and the general admission was that it was fair.

No two men would agree absolutely on valuations; but-the fact that so few alterations were made is the satisfactory test. In the meantime, however, business interests were threatened, business men were ftauled over the coals, assessments were raised or lowered and set back again, the net result was nothing. The" greatest sinner in the matter of paying taxes, as shown by its own figures, street railway company, was npt prought to book bufc found ready defenders. There must- be a board of equalization. Its office is'to correct any glaring inaccuracies, notable mistakes or accidental omissions in the work of the assessor.

That it should do, promptly and in a businesslike way, and adjourn. If it attempts to revise the entire roll and finds nothing to be done, it condemns itself. If any of its members abuse their office from personal motives, they should pay the penalty in sharp public disapproval. That some members of the board desired no more than to perform their duties quietly and go about their business is true. That there was a minority less disinterested the public has observed through some of these bear-garden sessions.

And the protraction of them, at the public cost, is a violation of duty. Let the people place the blame where it belongs, and Insist hereafter on more business and less playing to the galleries. One of the most deplorable consequences of splitting all that money among prize fighters will be the Imme-' diate investofienj by other fighters great sums of money In typewriters, and megaphones, Only the tict nhat he is in a huery to get at hls lf faTf plowing will save thf farmer man from going daffy trying figure how li is tf.at dollar wheat is only worth 81 cants at the elevator. In starting a tailors' trust, Charles M. Schwab fehauld not- overlook the fact that the; trnst system has ruined many a tailojf.

-j A Washington woman has left her fortune to congressman. "Them that has shall Contemporary Comment rWhy Lynch Law Prevails. Once it was sufficient to condemn a practice in our eyes to call it Europ'eafl. Now the pendulum swings the Qther way and not only the practices of the bfd world "are lauded as better than ours, but even the people are found superior or better in much. There is truth in both expositions object to one no more than to" the there are fundamental differences in conditions and characters and duties it may not be well to overlook.

Let us take an example from the Philadelphia Ledger: "Lynch law is rarely applied in the most enlightened countries of Europe. We are not Informed whether this is due to speedier and more effective judicial methods or to the superior activity and courage of the law officers in dealing with mobs desiring to visit vengeance upon criminals." In Germany or France a big man might beat a little one half to death and the crowd would wait for a policeman to interfere England or America the "underdog" would quickly receive effectual support from public i opinion. Now, Is the difference to our It comes from the tern and habits of a people born and red to consider themselves at least the "biggest part of the government." Florida Times-Union. Australia's New Capital. The commonwealth of Australia in establishing its capital follows the example originally set by the United States and afterward emulated by the Dominion of Canada.

When a new kingdom is formed, or a new empire, the metropolis becomes the capital, as Rome did of Italy and Berlin of Germany. Bat with republics it Is otherwise. The United States turned away from New York and Boston and Philadelphia and created the new city of Washington expressly for the purpose of a capital. So Canada turned away from historic Quebec and Montreal and selected obscure Bytown as her capital, happily changing its name to Ottawa. Now Australia declines Melbourne and Sydney in favor of a place which probably not one person in 10,000 outside of Australia has ever heard of, and which few maps show A change in name is suggested, although the present designation is sufficiently odd to agree with Australia, where the birds walk and the vegetables breathe.

News. Sudden Passion for Independence. Our Canadian friends and neighbors seem to have become possessed of a sudden passion for independence. This does not mean that they are growing impatient of the greatly relaxed and scarcely sensible tie which binds them to the mother country. They are quite satisfied with that, realizing, as they are intelligent enough to do, that the slight sacrifice which it involves is much more than repaid by the substantial advantages which it secures.

Their desire for Independence applies to their relations with the United States. They are apparently haunted with a fear that this country will some day, when it would be most inconvenient, adopt an unfriendly attitude toward them and withdraw existing concessions, upon which they are at this time so far dependent that their abolition would be felt as an PERSONAL MENTION. Dr. Harry E. Burdett and wife Jiave returned from a month's vacation spent in lower Canada.

Congressman C. R. Davis, of St. Peter, was at the Merchants' yesterday. George H.

Maxwell, chairman of the executive committee of the National Irrigation association, was in St. Paul yesterday on his way to the Trans- Mississippi congress at Seattle. He H. Dawson, Milton, N. J.

E. Cyr, Winnipeg; P. w. White, Spokane; T. H.

Peever, Sisseton; Mrs. W. H. Colgate and daughter. Hurley, J.

B. Fried. John I. Newell. Jamestown, A.

Read and wife. Princeton; J. B. Sola, Bismarck; H. W.

Hathaway, Butte; T. W. Simonson, Bemidji; C. R. Davis, St.

Peter; S. Cunningham, Red Lake Falls; Robert H. Cosgrove. Le Sueur; Mr. and Mrs.

C. G. Thornton. Duluth. G.

Brady, Sitka; Mis 3 Frances Lee, Detroit; Henry Altenbrand, Manhattan, Mont; H. B. Norton, Grand Forks; J. R. Carpenter.

George W. Thayer, Grand Rapids; A. H. Tumllin, Royal-ton; Mattie M. Irwin, Mrs.

H. H. Perry, Mrs. A. J.

Johnson, Miss McGinnis, Ellendale, N. Mrs. Helen Jones, Mankato; H. B. Dibell, Duluth; C.

S. Weston, Red Wing. H. Mlllan, Langdon, N. L.

A. Munson and wife, Pierre; Mr 3. John Wattawa, Katherine Wattawa, Kewanee, Ove Keogh, Charles Keogh. Spring Grove; Miss Young, Grand Forks; E. H.

Stranohan, Fargo; George W. Somerville and son. Sleepy Eye; J. W. Fleming, Seattle; T.

J. Stone, Madison. TODAY'S WEATHER. in eastern; showers and cooler in western portion Sunday; Monday fair in extreme west, showers and cooler in central and east portions; light to fresh winds, becoming variable. Upper Sunday, preceded by showers and cooler in northeast portion; Monday fair, cooler in west portion; variable winds.

Sunday; warmer in northeast portion; Monday partly cloudy; probably showers and cooler. Wisconsin Sunday; Monday partly cloudy; probably showers and cooler in western portion; light to east winds, becoming variable. Montana and cooler Sunday; Monday fair, warmer. North Dakota and cooler Sunday; Monday fair; warmer in northwest portion. South Dakota and cooler Sunday; Monday fair.

St. Paul temperatures, taken by the United States weather Paul, W. E. Oliver, observer, for the twenty-four hours ended at 7 o'clock last corrected for temperature and elevation. Highest temperature, 77; lowest temperature, 63; average temperature, 70; daily range, 14; barometer, 30.06; humidity, 61; precipitation, trace; 7 p.

m. temperature, 76; 7 p. m. wind, east; weather, clear. yesterday's Alpena 64 68tJacksonville ...80 90 Battleford 68 68 Los Angeles ....72 78 Bismarck 80 84 Marquette 64 66 Buffalo 70 76; Memphis 76 88 Boston 70 76 Medicine 82 Calgary 54 62 64 Chicago 64 ..72 74 Cincinnati .....80 86jNew Orleans ..86 92 Cleveland 70 72 New York 70 78 Denver 70 86 Oklahoma 90 94 Detroit 68 74 Omaha 74 76 Duluth 62 66 Philadelphia ...72 78 El Paso 88 94Qu'Appell ....68 74 Edmonton 56 56' Frisco 60 64 Grand Rapids.64 Loui 3 80 84 Green Bay ...64 66jSalt Lake 88 90 Galveston 84 86; San Antonio ...82 90 Havre 82 Marie 70 74 Helena 86 881 Washington ....72 78 Huron 82 861 Winnipeg 72 78 time (7 p.

m. St. Paul). River Bulletin Danger Gauge Change In Line. Reading.

24 Hours. St. Paul 14 5.0 La Crosse 10 6.6 0.0 Davenport 15 5.2 St. Louis 30 17.3 0.0 The Mississippi will cfiange but little in the vicinity of St. Paul during the next thirty-six hours.

CUE FADDEN gsas BY E. W. TOWNSEND. (Copyright, by Robert Howard Russell.) Say, de whole woild has gone straight dotty on muscle. It was always so down where I hung out as a kid, but de fine haired end of de woild has got it bad only since de time I began to pipe it I got me job in Miss Fannies house.

When I foist come, here all women, and most men, would go tru a summer without baking dere skins brown while trying to get'loftg tra muscle and short on fat. -I-foist tought It was only a bluff, dat society mugs would get cold feet before dey muscle bound; but nay, nay, dey sticks to de game like it was ready money. Yoa can tell wedder dey is in earnest about it when a man like Mr. Paul will cut off his shot of small bots In a evening before I has me hand well Into de game of pulling de plugs. "Shall I fetch anodder bottle, sir?" I Bays to him, wanting to know wedder I could make a sneak, and butt in wit de odder soivants what was down on de beach, taking a salt bat by moonlight.

"No more tonight, Chames," he says, after counting over on his fingers how many he has had. "No more tonight. I finds dat I goes off in me tennis if i do not deny meself. Take away de empty bottles; dey reminds me of me toist." "No sugar in me coffee," I hears Miss Fannie say after dinner. "Sugar runs me above me best riding weight, and I've promised to ride over to de polo game tomorrow.

Will you ride wit us, Papa, or drive?" she says. "I'll drive, me dear," Whiskers says, "but not in a trap. I'll drive at golf," he says. "Chames, I'll want you to go to da links wit me early in de morning, to recover balls, while I practice driving. It's astonishing," he says to Mr.

Paul, "dat I drives much better when Chames is wit me, dan when I has one of de caddies." But even Duchess has de croise. When de folks is all away from de house she plays croquet wit Maggie, de house maid; for she says it makes her belt line smaller to bend over and swat de ball. But croquet is no more exercise dan reading de baseball news i 3 playing ball. Even Kiddie has to be brought up in de fashion. Every morning de youngster is fetched to de noissery, in pajamas for exercising close, and I teaches her to swing clubs.

Dats a good looking I was de champeen of de Roseleaf Social Outing and Life Saving Club. Duchess piped me giving Kiddie her morning lesson for a few days, and she says she would take a. hand in de game herself. She did. De next time I give Duchess a lesson in club swinging I'll hire de wide, wide woild for de gymnasium, and move out de stars and moons, and tings like dat, so dat Duchess will have room to woik in.

She broke everything in dat noissery, not barring her head and mine. Duchess told Kiddie not to tell dat she had been playing rough house; and to sweeten de Kiddie not to forget, Duchess got some marmalade for her. "Tank you, Hortense" Duchess you, Hortense," says Kiddie, "but I must not eat sweets in de morning, because dey destroys me waist line," and de little one went on her way, wit her figure all a little keg! And Wily Widdy! Say, honest, you wonder when she gets de time to take de exercise she must take to keep her figure as fit as it is. If dere's anyting de line of exercise sports dat Widdy doesn't play I never heard de name of it. Duchess says dat de minute Widdy lands Whiskers she'll give up all her exercise, and grow so fat her trusso dat? Trousseau? Tanks trousseau won't do her a bit of good.

It'll do Duchess a lot of good; for what Widdy can't or don't wear, Duchess rakes off like a mice. But French goils can keep der figures witout training, and dats why women's styles comes from Paris, Duchess says. Widdy plays golf wit Whiskers. I know her game, and I know dat she can give him a stroke a hole, and make him look like he was playing checkers; but p'chee! he always beats her. Even when she takes a stroke from him on de long holes, he beats her.

"Tell me why dat is?" I says to Duchess. "A man wouldn't play off his game like dat to be made President of Washington, and go to his office every day in all de yachts in de American Navy." "President, bah!" says Duchess. "What is de President alongside Cupid?" "Oh, he isn't so woise," I says. "When a woman like Madam made up her mind dat it will be of de social and woildly advantage for to make a marriage wit a man like Whiskaire, it is de kind of a resolve dat woiks magic," Duchess says. "It is de kind of a resolve dat man knows notting he did he would be of such a fright dat he would make de laws to keep women in jail wit veils over der eyes." "Doing time," I asks, "like de princesses in de Rabiaji.

Nights dat Miss Fannie reads de Widdie?" "De same," Duchess says. "Widdy is not jeune fille. but she is not yet of a certain age, and she has a desirable dot, and could marry any of many young men she has of de determination to marry Whiskaire, and, foolish man, he tink dat it depend upon him wedder she or not. Mon Dieu! why does he not give up de struggle at once, and have time to tink of something else?" "But what has letting him beat her at golf got to do wit de lay-out?" I says. "Truly, mon ami, one would tink dat you have not de advantage of a clever if ask questions so- stupid." "Cut de gammon," I says, "and get to de evidence." "Whiskaire is of de common you de man average." "I wish his income was, say 31.

"Nine hundred and ninety-nine such men out of a tousand marr4j.de woman who is de cleverest at flattering dere conceit. If dat woman -is also of a c'eat fait!" "All over but de rice- trowing, eh? And Whiskers doesn't know dat her chains are on him?" "Even a stupid woman makes a man tink dat her chain is his ornament. In France dese ting is understood; and a goil is not allowed to pick out de man she will marry; her parents do dat for her." "Duchess," saya-I, f'l wag wondering wedder it is a good ting or not for me dat your parents Waimi' tn America before I married you," "It Is foolish for men to consider such dat to women; dey is entitle to some amusement." I wonder what dat goil meant. What she was saying about Widdy's golf set me tinking; and before dey was married, Mr. Paul won mast always from Miss Fannie, and she got a good handicAP.at dat.

Since dey is married, she takes a mighty small handicap from him, and she wins out about as often as him. But what's de use of trying to figure out a game where dere ain't no rules; and where de woman is de only one who knows, for a fact, what de stakes is? But I was going to tell you about our trip on de picnic of de Roseleaf Outing, Social.and Life Saving Club. Me fren de barkeep is de president of de Roseleafers, and he being Maggie de housemaid's steady she was going along wit me and Duchess. We all couldn't get a day off togedder unless our folks was going away, too. But Duchess fixed dat.

She knows dat Miss Fannie was linking about a day's visit to some frens over White Plains way; so Duchess put it up to her to go on de day of our picnic. "It wouldn't be altogedder convenient to go on dat day," says Miss Fannie. "I'm sorry," says Duchess, "because Chames and me and Maggie was going on a picnic on dat day; but of course if Madam is to be at home on dat day, we cannot go." "Oh, very well," says Miss Fannie, "we have to go some time, so we may as well go dat day as anodder." De Roseleafers is a good lot of boys and goils, but dere notion of gaillygailly always takes in a scrap; and Duchess, being French, doesn't know how much good it does a man to have a scrap once in a while, to keep him in mind dat he isn't de whole woiks. and dat dere is no real fun in dis life dat hasn't to be hustled for. Me frens down Bowry way hasn't got no woise tempers dan odder folks; but dey la more trutfull about what dey likes and doesn't like; and so, when dey feel likes a all good men must once in a dey has one.

Dats all. Well, say, Duchess and Maggie waa dreams! Duchess was ragged out in some close Miss Fannie passed on to her, and Maggie was ragged out in some Duchess had passed on to her; and dey looked so much like de real ting dat me fren de barkeep blow us off for a carriage to drive down to de pier, where de boat was dut was to take us up da river. Da.t was de beginning of de trouble like as not, me fren knowed it would be. He had a trouble of hia own; ha has been Maggie's steady a long time, but she wouldn't give up her place at our house and marry him. She wants him to shave his fedders, and take a place as butler wit Mr.

Paul. He could get de place, and would make a corker butler; which de same Mr. Paul knows, him sometimes going down to me fren's place on de Bowry to study life, as he says. "I can't stand for it," says me fren to me, as we gassed de game togedder. "I own me own.

drum now" drum, and am making long green loon. I taught you spoke de English paid for me own drum, and a mmaking more long green in a week dan me wages as butler would be in a mont. Maggie has forgot de Bowry, along wit being trim in wit does forn soivants, and she tinks dat keeping a drum isn't hightoned." Well, as I was saying, we drove down to de pier, and de gang give us de gaff for fair, when dey pipes us in de carriage. "Here's de Honorable Chimmle Fadden," says dey. "What's de matter wit coming down by street car.

Or by hand. Make way for de silk haired ladies and gents!" We jollied back, and notting doing at foist, because when you gets in a scrap too close to de pier, some cop may see, and ring for de resoives, and come out in a patrol boat, and spoil de fun before it's half over. So we jollied de game along, quiet like, and started de dancing and singing, and pretended not to hear de tings dat was said what mean fight. Dat was hard, too, for I was long due on a scrap; and what wit all de exercise I has, teaching sports to visitors at our place, I was feeling dat I could giva a good story to any one of me weight dat would listen to me. Duche3s started it.

She'd danced wit me, and wit me fren, and was toisty, so she says to a goll dat she sees wit a mug of beer, "Me good woman," she says, "give me dat glass of beer, and run and get yourself anodder." De goil near drops de glass, she waa so paralyzed wit de cheek of Duchess; den she let out a holler for her steady, who comes on de run. When he heara de story he near falls dead, too, and gets his gang; and dey comes over to where I was, and he says, "Have you got a gang, Chimmie?" "Sure, Mike," I says, for I always keep next to me old gang; and I calls em togedder, and I says, "What's doing?" "Your Dago wife has insulted ma lady fren," he says. "What are you doing?" "Make a ring," I says. He had no roight to mix in wit me alone, for he was overweight, and soft, at dat, and I put him out of business, easy. But dat was only de commencement) for de gangs lined up, and when de man who was out had been dragged away we gets busy.

Dere's advantage in starting your scrap early in de day, for den everybody is sober, and notting but a fist is used; and when it is over dere is a chance fur i hand-shake, and a gaiily-guilly, like dere had been no discussion at all. It was beautiful while It lasted. Duchess, being forn, fainted at de foist sight of claret, but Maggie, being New York, stood behind our gang, and gives us good tips to rush where de odder gang was getting shy. Our side won, bote on points and results; but none of us was as pretty as when de boat started. When we shook hands, and me fren, who was de floor manager, told de orchestra to play, and called "All waltz!" Maggie goes to him, and she says, "Johnny," she says, "you done beautiful.

I'll name de day whenever you like." Den dey waltzed. I looks up Duchess, and p'ehee! I found de goil who started de row taking care of her. "Chimmie," de goil, "it was a lovely scrap, and your gang won, all right, but if I'd remembered dat your wife was a Dago, and not onto our ways, I'd not been insulted by her asking for me to give up me stein. Now she's coming 'round. Go and wash your face, before she sees you." Dat night when we gets homp, and Duchess was patching up me peeper, she says, soft like, "Chames, are you much hoit?" "Not hoit at all, me dear," I says, giving her a kiss.

"But you should seen de felly dat I mixed wit foint. Why did you ask?" "Because, Chames, I started row on poipose." "What fell!" I says. "I tink you had de noive. What did you do it for?" "Because Maggie is a good goil, but she wouldn't make up her mind to marry your fren de barkeep." "Did you tink he needed a mouse under his eye to make Maggie see what a good-looker he is," I say.s^ trying to get next to her woman argument. "No," she says.

ail women need some reason for why dey will marry a man. Widdy has her reason, par example, and a good reason for her. Maggie, being de same kind of a woman, in anodder way, needed same kind of a reason, in anodder way. Madam Harding see Whiskaira successful, in de only way dat sha understand success, and she will marry him. Maggie seen her steady successful in de way she and she will marry him.

Comprenea vous? Woman is all alike a difference.".