Huddersfield Daily Examiner from Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, England • 20

20 Huddersfield Daily Examiner Thursday May 23 1996 Telephone Classified Advertising 4311 11 All other departments 430000 Features By George he's a card GEORGE Best has just celebrated his fiftieth birthday To those of us under 40 who never saw him play it is hard to believe the fuss that has been made You can't imagine the same hoo-hah greeting Gazza when he crests the alf-century zone But the distinguishing feature of Mr Best seems to me not only that i he was gifted on the pitch but that he has refused to be anything less than reprehensible off it! He has neither got religion become a family man or thel worst fate of all turned into aj Jimmy Hill-style sport pundit Long may George Best continue to earn the red card i Time for hermit to come out of Model of a modern day mum? QUESTION: How do Texan belles worried about their forthcoming fortieth birthday put their minds at rest? If they're Jerry Hall professional sweetie-pie and rock wife they reach for their smalls and pose for a series of still-lifes in lingerie which is barely visible to the naked eye Of course darling it's not tacky at all because it IS the latest edition of Vogue Or should that be Vague? But it's her three kids I feel sorry i i i Jerry Hall: still-life in lingerie for most Will she leave copies of Vogue around the house so that her sprogs can admire her scantily-clad form at leisure? It's difficult enough for most children to imagine their parents doing anything more adventurous than sharing the odd chaste kiss now and then but to be reminded in glorious technicolour that your mother is a sex er kitten must be deeply painful his shell? Prince Charles: a tender sapling with life and if they're in trou- their inscrutable valet to dis- Nominate your favourite song now I ble they go fishing or drown As the best soccer learns inter up for Euro 96 to find Europe top foottl team The Putea their sorrows over a bottle of whisky 4 Examiner Commemorative Mug a CHAWWNSHP OF MUSIC to And YMYoiksTOPmCta Help us find trie 16 tracks we need to take part in this first ever Tourrainent of Tracks NOTiruyourfavourtesorg win TICKETS TO SEE BRYAN ADAMS at the Hi8taHuAlersfMd Usten to Trie Pulte Music (Xhampi presented in association with Berwick Vauxhal OFFICIAL NOMINATION FORM 3 da nll www ffwwnmnBHinBnamiHHni of PRINCE Charles has rather belatedly hired a personal advisor to improve his image Of course the Hermit of Highgrove possesses a natural ineptitude for such matters having neither Princess Anne's lack of personal vanity nor the easy charm of Prince Andrew And somehow you feel this latest scam will not help along the cause of his good name whatsoever HRH is a tender sapling who requires lots of sun and praise but has little chance of getting it But it's surprising that he has seized on the tired old idea of acquiring a spin-doctor or image guru I sincerely hope we are not about to see the future king dressing entirely in lime green because it's a talk-to-me colour Anyway proper chaps don't worry about the way they appear they just get on Please enter nw Into the FREE PRIZE MAW to wtn BRYAN ADAMS TICKETS I wish to nominate my favourite song to take part in The Pulse Music Championship 96 starting Saturday June 8 1996 pense advice on any matter from which socks to wear to what battle to fight These days the fear is that the butler might sell their secrets to the tabloids for great sums Charles could be trying to re-invent himself in order to convince the Queen that he is fit to rule the country Dressed in lime-green because it's a talk-to-me colour But this is an impossible task Paying someone a salary to effect such a change just will not work Family characters are set in stone at about the age of eight And no matter how old you get you will never change yourself in the eyes of your mum even if she is the Queen of England and you are her very delicate but pampered son twit lOLI Chit Chat Song title: Artist: My name: Address: fr unman bhare a piece of news history with these 4 specially commissioned mugs I Postcode: My birthday: Following the success of our i Send to: The Pulse Music Championship '96 VE-Day mugs and to commemorate newspaper ine examiner nas Great They entirely ignore the New Age guff which has been so heartily embraced by the royal daughters-in-law But you sympathise with old Charley In previous gen-' erations royals nad no need for outsiders because they had me puise or west Yorkshire BRADFORD BD1 SNE (Closing date Monday June 3 1996 at 530pm) and ttwfr famite or any otters MMdaiid wtth this promotion ar not UgU to wla covered rustory eacn one depicting a py me Examiner U71-19NI All Ml ru iuur mugs wiu go qn priced at £495 but i tne cnance to oo onlv £345 with with the first ofthi i NEW PRIME! 6139 Sim Toobtai which i ariii dim vj will at ale Hi of the Doctor Who had real style TT ON Pertwee who died this II week at 76 was one of the top two Doctor Whos tne other one was Tom Baker He was also great at zapping Daleks Despite the fact he played the tv time-traveller for just four years Mr Pertwee lent the part a very memorable and twinkling warmth INTRODUCING SIEMENS VIDEO OTOSCOPE CONDITIONS You must hove six difhrntli'tnimhnd fabm Back copies can be obtained from our Market Strtet office Photocopies not accepted Examiner Commemorative Mugs Jon Pertwee: great presence IT'S ALL FREE ON OPEN DAYS IN HUDDERSFIELD! Free Hearing Test and 'guided tour'of your ear on video! Free check of your existing hearing aid and free service and clean Scrivens Hearing Centre 15 Cloth Hall Street Huddersfield Call in or ring for an appointment on 28th or 29th May Tel: 01484 532176 Open 9-530 9 Come and see our new Video Imaging System made for us by Siemens a world leader in hearing aid technology For the first time patients can see inside their earsl And better understand their hearing aid audiologist's advice This is truly a new dimension in diagnosis Your hearing aid audiologist can tell you and show you- the nature of your hearing needs Cookery Better hearing means a better life 1 A Not only did he have immense presence as the crackpot avuncular doctor he also had a distinguished eye for dress Even now when I spot someone walking round in a velvet jacket with big cuffs I feel strangely benign towards them! Encapsulating a whole new me! THERE'S an advert for a mineral supplement called Co-enzyme QlO which keeps catching my eye "Your energy restored in 60 days" it promises And it shows a woman bounding around It is so tempting to believe that your worst personality traits could be cured by taking a pill I'd love to bound Bound bound bound all day long Like a labrador pup Up hill down dale tra-la-ing all the way Truth is I can just about manage to bound downstairs in the morning but only because I love breakfast so much and after that I'm afraid it's all downhill Sitting the monsters down teaching them to write Japanese A few triple selkos over discarded building bricks followed by a quick head-butt of the living room door as I squelch over some overlooked spillages from yesterday and my daily dose of toddler-induced inertia is in full swing Where has all that personal dynamism or whatever it's called gone I wonder? Taking vitamin supplements must be the answer Perhaps I'd stop bellowing at the kids and make everything a game that's what the books say ha ha and when I emptied dustbins they would no longer drip with cornflakey milk or coffee dregs My life could so simply changed it seems with just a few capsules I'd be sitting the monsters (my tot and her cousin) down teaching them to write Japanese haiku instead of banishing them to the living room for more enforced alphabet-learning from a frog in front of the TV That is if it wasn't for the fact that I am eternally wedded to inefficiency brain decay and inactivity And because I just haven't quite got the energy to trundle down to the chemist to buy the things! Do you know of a friend relation or neighbour who's not reading the Huddersfield Dairy Examiner? Someone who's missing out on all the news views and features that the area's biggest selling dairy newspaper provides? If you do then we've got some great news If you recommend your friend and they are among the first twenty-five to place an order for the Examiner for a six week trial period you will receive a pair of cinema tickets absolutely free for seats at any performance at the Showcase Cinemas in Birstall Leeds So start thinking now Then simply complete the coupon below and send it FREEPOST to Recommend a Friend Examiner News Information Services Ltd FREEPOST Queen Street South Huddersfield HD1 3EX We will then contact your friend with details of our 125th anniversary trial offer Hunyl This special cinema ticket offer must end 30696 nrCFyvwpWBIMf JU UM1 JA1LI ON BATHROOMS li: with NO DEPOSIT MrMrsMs Address i Vburname i i Address i hnHHtaMi WLjujhwmm -x Postcode Postcode Telephone Telephone would like to recommend the person nominated opposite to ay the Hihidersfiekl Examiner far a six week Examiner xLl' period I understand that you will contact himher within the next few days 10 kHchn 11 11000 "nt nd at 00 or mt it Conntcllwii broehim pricM Suhjact ititit wrKte me heart of Huddersfield life mpra: ncnn nni uh ovpoiii tqml monthly paymtRtl of CM Tstll arte CUM APR 0.