tHUMOAY, Mt. », FROM CHICAGO TRIBUNE — NEW YORK NEWS'' INDICATE ING. DEAR ABBY! A choice selection of the best letters Abigail Van Buren received in 1966 ! . ' " ' " '.,.-' * ".,'•',••'•, Abby, a unique combination of pungent wit and sympathetic these sparkling gems holiday enjoyment and taste of what s DEAR ABBY: In 1955 I married Bob (not 'his real name) in the Catholic ohurc'h. I was born a Catholic and Bob a GO:wort. We 'had two boys. For reasons which I shall not go into, we were divorced in 1961. I then married Bill (also not his real name*) at a civil ceremony by a justice of line paace, but we lived together only seven months and were ^u'vorc^d. Bob has started to come around again. We havo a lot to talk about because of the boys, etc. so suniatiimos he stays all night, or for the weekend. The neighbors' souths are going.,a mile a minute. Since our religion doss not recognize divorce, we are still married in the eyo.s of the church. Right?- So, are we doing anything 'wrong? TALKED ABOUT DEAR TALKED ABOUT: It's net the "eyes of the church" you are concerned about — it's the mouths of your neighbors. Talk to your priest. He will tell you what's wrong with using your religion to suit your own convenience. DEAR ABBY: I hats alcohol and my sons know it. Yet when we go to their homes for parties, the boys and their wives and their guests drink hard liquor right in tlront of us. One boy is 52 and the other is 55, so they don't need our permission to drink, but it wouldn't hurt them to abstain w'hen we are present. My husband is on the boys' side, He says the younger generation is living in an entirely different world. Should I tell the boys that as far as I am.concerned, they can live in their world and I will live in mine? BLOOMINGTON, ILL. DEAR BLOOMINGTON: If you want to remain on speaking terms with your sons, I suggest you stop fighting the battle of the bottle and try living in the same world as long as possible. You'll be living in different worlds soon enough, DEAR ABBY: "LOVE-STARVED" has my sympathy. He's the man whose wife won't let him kiss her be- oauss she's afraid he might mess her hair-do, or smear her make-lip: . I have been married for nearly four years, and I have never seen rny wife with curlers in 'her liair or goo all over her face. She says, "I can do all the construction work during the day time. I don't care if the mailman, milkman or delivery boys see me looking like a spook. But when my man conies home, I like to be as fresh and pretty as I can be." LUCKY LENNY DEAR LUCKY: Cover her up. She might get pneumonia. DEAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old woman who has been marvled for nearly 30 years to a 56-year old railroad man. We have nine grown children. You may not believe this, but my husband has left me for a 62-year old woman. Will you please tell me what this old lady could possibly offer him that I can't? VERA DEAR VERA: Social security, maybe. DEAR ABBY: Married women are expected to wear wedding rings, I think all married men should wear something to indicate that THEY are married. WILMA DEAR WILMA: Isn't a five-year-old suit and a worried 4ook sufficient? DEAR ABBY: I work on one of the newspapers that publishes your column. In a story I wrote, the term "horse-serum"'was changed to "equine serum,"! haye never heard anyone refer to horse serum as equine serum, and I doubt if anyone else has. What do you suppose the editor was trying to accomplish? ANNOYED DEAR ANNOYED: Nothing. But he was probably having one of his "technical" days and objected to using a noun as an adjective, altho it's a common practice. Forget it, It's just a lot of equine feathers anyway. DEAR ABBY: I am a high school senior and I plan to became a nurse. I also have another ambition. I want to marry a, member 'of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Please dW't laugh at me, Abby, I am serious. I-am not pretty, but I dp 'have plenty of friends and' I've'feen told I have a good personality. I've dated guys from schgol, but they don't satisfy this feeling I have. I'have read everything about the R. C. M. P. and am more deteav.imed 'than ever to marry one. How can I meet one? FROM VIRGINIA DEAR FROM: You coujd take • trip to Canada «nd act "lost" in th* Rockies, |>«t ffctif »* «lw*yi • «htn«t Hraf the bloodhounds might find yo« first. Get your R. N., then appjy for a job in Canada, And in the meantime, keep re- tjjig fhe pstjo. of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police «Wt always get our 'nun,* And maybe you'll get yoyrs. ' DEAR ABBY: I wrote to you once before about this problem, but I turned chicken and tore up the letter. The problem has con:e up again, and this time I've made up my mind to mail it. My husband has been interested in nudism for some time, and has tried to get me to go to a nudist camp. I have nothing against camps like that, but I am just not the type who could strip down naked in front of so many people. We have had a lot of arguments about this, and have even come close to getting a divorce over it. I don't see how normal people could go to a place like that without getting a few "evil" thoughts, Am 1 wrong to think this way; or am I evil minded? And do you think a man wlho really loved his vvife could bear to see her walking naked in front of other men? ANTI-NUDIST DEAR ANT!: One's attitudes about nudity are based on his early training, acquired inhibitions, and the customs and culture of the society in which he exists. Some people adopt unconventional beliefs that are net, necessarily, "evil minded." I believe, however, that everything his its place. Including the fig leaf. DEAR 4JBBY: I stopped by my husband's place of business just bei'ore closing time to get a lift home. When I walked in, he had the guiltiest look on his face, and the back cSooir of his office was wide open. There was a chair drawn up right next to Ms. I felt the seat, and it was still warm. We have bsen married 33 years, and I never worried about his taking an interest in other women because for the last 10 years he has had no interest in me. Now I am, beginning to wonder if maybe' the reason 'he had no interest in m$ was because he was all worn out from his interest in others. I would like your opinion. SUSPICIOUS DEAR SUSPICIOUS: It could be that the hot seat you're worrying about results from your cold shoulder. Wtrrn vp *ne and watch the other cool off. e .•;-/ comng n DEAR ABBY: What dp you think of a 44-year-old man who meets his girl (she is 37) on street corners be- causo he's afraid if someone sees his car stop in front of her house they might tell his mother? I have put up with •this'for Ip.years.and I am sick of it. Bud's.mother has a '"regular- detective'ring working 'for "her to' find out every move her son makes. If I want to call Bud at home I have to ask my brother or some other man to ask for him, because his mother won't call him to the phone if it's a woman's voice He is scared to death of her. He's an only son and she's a widow. It's not that she doesn't like me. She's never even MET me. As I understand it, there is a lot of money there and Bud will get it all when, his mother dies But she's not y^t 65 and is healthy as a horse. I love him, A:bbv, but I can't take much more of this hiding. Any ideas? ;. • ' BUDDY'S GIRL DEAR GIRL: A 44-year-old "boy" who meets his girls on street corners has a lot of growing up to do. And so has the 37-ye«r-old "girl" who meets him. Hide and seek is for children. Tell Bud either to present you to his mother as his fiancee, or find another playmate. DEAR ABBY: I hope to many a nice girl someday, one who doesn't drink or smoke; but while I'm still single, I prefer to date girls .who do. Girts who drink and smoke are cheaper to date because they don't mind eating cheap food in a low-class 4M»er. Take,them to a cheap dive and give them some drliiks and clgarets and they are confent-T ed. Also girls who drink and smoke usually lack self re-, spect, so they don't expect a fellow to respect them, and he can usually get away with anything he wants on the first date. ' • .''•••'.-' •• • '••'-'•.•''..••'•• I am not a bum, I'm just an average guy, but so many people push the sweet, innocent-type girls,.! thought someone should explain who so many men prefer the 4 cheap kind. We don't want to MARRY them, just DATE them. JOHN; Q. PUBLIC DEAR JOHN: Speak for yourself, John I The fellow who has dated nothing but willing women can hjvej*!* choice of any tramp he's, dated when selecting a wife. Men who do their shopping at a rummage tale are unlikely te find a jewel from Cartier. DEAR ABBY; I enjoy going to bridal showers. But not for a 44-yeai'-old "bride" who has shed three husbands! I can't get out of going because of family obligations, but I feel certain that a woman who has been married off and on for 20 years doesn't need to be set up in housekeeping. I think showering a bride under these circumstances is in the worst possible taste. Who is to blame? The future sister-in-law who is putting on the shower? Or the bride who is permitting it? •.. ... "PICKLE-FORK" DEAR PICKLE-FORK: I'd say it's a joint venture. And between the two of them they hope to fill the joint with gifts. DEAR ABBY: My children are just average, but they are good kids. I have no outstanding beauties among my daughters and, while they do have friends, none of them is wildly popular. My boys are average students, just fair in sports, but none of them ever made the team. A relative of mina has outstanding children. They are popular, good looking, and get lots of honors. And he doesn't let me forget it for a moment. What can. I say when he collars me and brags on and on about his kids? STUCK FOR WORDS DEAR STUCK: Nothing. Just because a jackass brays doesn't mean you have to answer him. DEAR ABBY: I'm 22 years old, which is over 21, right? So why don't people leave me alone? I get so much advice I cxmld write your DEAR ABBY column for you. I happen to be very much in love with a married man; Altho ti;ey have no children, his wife refuses to give him a divorce because she 1 * too lazy to work a'hd he!s a good meal ticket. Everyone tells me I'm. wasting the best years of my life on him, but it's my life, and I'm satisfied with things as they are. He tells me that marriage is for the birds, that it takes all the romance out of a relationship, and from most of the marriages I've seen, I believe him. Why don't people just leave me tlone? This man really sends me. "SENT" IN SILVER SPRINGS DEAR SENT: This man should send you all right — to a head shrinker. I don't know what your friend aloes for a living, but if he isn't selling, he should be. Eventually you'll get ^our wish and everyone will leave you alone. Including your married friend. DEAR ABBY: We are two girls, both 12, and we eaidh have a different problem. One of us is overweight and the pther one is flat. Every day one of us gets insulted a- bjout our looks. My girl friend has tried every diet in the book, and she can't lose a pound. And I would like to have a padided bra, but I'm afraid to ask my mother for one. Please don't tell us we have plenty of time to have good figures. We want them NOW. Answer soon as we are desperate. FATTY AND FLATTY DEAR F AND F: Reading a diet won't lose your friend an ounce unless she substitutes READING for EATING. And as for the bra; a twelver year-old girl's figure is Mtually adequate for her jage. However, if later on, you've clearly been cheated, ''what Nature's forgotten, stuff with cotton." DEAR ABBY: You advised my husband and me 'against buying a boat with another couple. If the other couple were relatives would your advice be the same? WONDERING DEAR WONDERING: With relatives, I'd have added "positively." DEAR ABBY: Here is a suggestion for parents to help safeguard their daughters during their courting days. First, make a rule that your daughter cannot go out with a young man unless he comes to the house for you to meet. When he shows up, the mother should entertain him while the father goes outside and takes down his license number aud a good description of his car. Color, model, etc. During the evening, if. the daughter has any trouble with him, she could say, "My father took down your license number and will call the police if I am not home at the time they specified." This is foolproof protection for any girl. DAP DEAR DAD: And what happens if Jack The Ripper shows up in a taxi? DEAR ABBY: My doctor told me some month* ago that I sho'uld have a little surgery. It's nothing serious and need not be done immediately, but he advised me not to put it off too long. 1 find myself postponing it for thf silliest rejjson. Please don't laugh at me when I tell you why. I am afraid of what I might say while I'm under the, anesthetic. The doctor belongs to our club and we hjy§ many mutual friends, and it could get very embajrassjjag if I talked too much. Can you help.me? AFRAID OF THE DEAR AFRAID: Go ahead «nd hiVt «*• w and don't worry. Most doctor* IMfil attentively to t*ir patients' babbling during their conscious moments, but will Happily tune them out when they're under. Beside*, Hie, chances are he'll be much to* occupied ft the timt tf j% call what he hears.
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