Sun-Journal from Lewiston, Maine • B5

IZ ENETY SPECIAL TO THE WASHINGTON POST It seems these days that strangers notice my growing belly immediately after one of my three children does something outrageous in public. like got your hands they invariably comment, most recently after my daughter (Kid No. 3) picked up her fallen Panera grilled cheese sandwich off the restaurant floor and stuffed it into her mouth before I could intervene. Hands full. Mouths full, too.

In the past seven years, my husband and I have gone from kid-free and carefree 20-somethings to suburban 30-somethings on the verge of having our fourth baby. Our days are full of yogurt stains, financial strains, work sprints and school scheduling. I often feel like the kid in You Give a Mouse a perpetually responding to the cascading demands of each small creature in my life. If you give a kid a lunchbox, going to leave it in the car during drop-off. If your kid forgets his lunch, his school will call in the middle of your super-important work meeting and demand a resolution to this culinary crisis.

Some days, it feels as if chaos is unfurling in every direction. Far from being an expert parent, an amateur ringleader at the circus, often clueless about how to tame the lions of bedtime or train the baby elephants to do what I say. (And when I say it!) My car is littered with crumbs, I start most work emails with for the and my most often-repeated parenting mantra is did I So another kid? Yep, another kid. I know not everyone can or wants to have children at all let alone have a larger family. There are insane constraints on modern time and resources.

Choosing whether to have kids and how many is an incredibly personal, often complex decision. And in our case, raising three kids is already organized chaos. why we decided to have one more. an adventure Before we had kids, my husband and I traveled the world, endured multiple deployments as part of his Navy career and spent three years in long-distance marriage. But the biggest adventure we ever faced came in the form of a wrinkly, eight- pound little boy our firstborn son, Henry.

absolutely true that having kids chips away at real chunks of your freedom. But they also bring unforeseen adventures big and small the limitless potential of their lives, the marvel of watching a person you created discover the world, the simple beauty they invite you to rediscover in everyday moments. And each subsequent child, with its unique story and DNA and purpose, gives you a new adventure to live. Having children has been the biggest adventure of my life. Having a fourth? I guess I like to live adventurously.

a challenge Nothing will make you dig deeper into your reserves of personal strength than trying to calmly discipline an out-of-control toddler who is violently kicking you while you try to change its poopy diaper in an airport bathroom. Except maybe getting up for work the day after your baby went through the four- month sleep regression. The point is, parenthood forces you to rise to the occasion often literally and in the middle of the night. The kind of personal development I have gone through because of parenthood vastly more organized, disciplined and intentional with my time has been a massive self- improvement boot camp. Without the demands of growing and feeding and raising these children, I know I would not have been so transformed.

And though every time on the precipice of welcoming another child to our family, I begin to doubt whether I can again step up to the new demands, learned that I have the ability to rise. Motherhood has taught me about my strengths. Less is more I was that mom who registered for all the things, bought all the toys and signed up for all the activities with my first kid. But with each subsequent child, not only do I buy fewer things but also gotten rid of the majority of child-focused gear and toys we had accumulated. Along the journey of parenthood, embraced much more of a minimalist and essentialist mind-set, not- ing that kids seem happier with fewer, more creative toys, and that I am happier when I have to spend all my free time cleaning up their messes.

Reading Greg book not long after my husband and I Marie-Kondo-ed our home, I discovered a similar philosophy could apply not just to our stuff but also to how we all spend our time. Now, our kids are enrolled in only one activity each season. We aim to spend our weekends unwinding as much as possible, not running from one activity to the next. We believe that quality time together is more important than stuffing our lives full of And so without forced fun adding more chaos to the busy lives we already have, living a bit more simply has made space in our days instead to welcome another baby. Lazy parenting rules knock until tried it.

This latest parenting philosophy, a modern antidote to what has been called helps kids take greater responsibility for themselves at an early age, which has the added benefit of making parenting a slightly less all- consuming task. And what that looks like in our house: My 2-, 5- and 6-year-olds dress themselves. (This often results in fascinating outfit choices and pants worn backward.) They put on their own seat belts even our 2-year-old. (I inspect their work before we drive away.) They have to make their beds before they get out of their rooms in the morning. (We cheat a little.

They have zip-up bedding.) But lazy parenting helps my kids increasingly take responsibility for the minutiae of their lives, which leaves me a bit more free, too for sometimes, just being plain lazy. Liz Tenety is the cofounder of Motherly and the co-author of the forthcoming book is Motherhood: A Motherly Collection of Reflections SPECIAL TO THE WASHINGTON POST Think the real world is a dangerous place for travelers? Try visiting the virtual one, a place filled with shady travel offers and criminals who want to steal your personal information. It is the time of year when people start planning their summer vacations, and with everyone watching the bottom line, the temptation to save a few dollars by booking online is strong. That might include searching the underside of the Internet for a bargain. A recent survey by the British security company Comparitech should make you consider carefully where you buy.

The research discovered a vibrant market for frequent-flier miles on the a hidden part of the internet that requires special software to access. On one site, Comparitech found that you can buy 100,000 points for as little as $884. type of sites most commonly associated with the dark Web are marketplaces where illicit goods such as narcotics, firearms and stolen credit card numbers are bought and says the author, Paul Bischoff. Bischoff says that if you get caught with stolen airline miles or selling your own miles, the airline can wipe out your account and leave you with nothing. can even cancel your bookings if found broken the terms of he says.

A study by Seon, a security consulting company, found any number of travel products available on the dark web. They included airline tickets, car rentals and, on one forum, tours sold at a 30 percent discount. The dark web is just one of the places travelers should avoid. Others include unsecured websites and wireless hotspots designed to collect personal information. Bottom line: Online security can be as important as physical safety for travelers.

Even when visiting a legitimate travel site, you might not be entirely safe. Consider the data breach Marriott disclosed last year, in which hackers accessed its reservation systems over four years and exposed private information of up to 500 million customers. Experts say not a question of if, but when the next data breach will happen. How do you know if a company is taking security seriously? One way is to look for a little padlock icon next to the website address on any page where you can type in sensitive information, including credit card numbers. That is missing from a lot of travel sites.

At least that is the finding of Sectigo, a web security company. It recently studied major airline, hotel, travel comparison, car rental, and train websites and rated them on how effectively they were secured. It flagged the sites for Firefly, SkyWest and Ritz Carlton for triggering warnings, and numerous others for lesser security issues. major travel brands fail to provide assurance of their security and says Tim Callan, a senior fellow at Secti- go. But the most common danger to travelers may be the network of wireless hotspots set up in public places such as airports, convention centers and hotels that are designed to steal personal information.

actors can set up fraudulent WiFi networks and even fake mobile hotspots to collect and record traffic that connects to them, especially in top explains Matthew Gardiner, a cyberse- curity expert at Mimecast, an email and Web security provider. A 2018 report by Coronet, a cybersecurity company, identified San Diego International, John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California, and William P. Hobby Airport as the airports where travelers were most at risk of being hacked through a public WiFi network. Avoiding a public network pays off in additional peace of mind, says Chandler Givens, CEO of Track- OFF, a provider of data privacy software for consumers. the very least, try to stick to sites with in front of the URL, and be careful what kinds of personal information you submit while That brings us to the solutions.

You can stay off public hotspots, log into a secure public hotspot, such as Boingo, or use a virtual private network (VPN), which offers an extra layer of encryption. protect yourself, for example, when at airports or hotels, find out the official WiFi network of the facility from the management, and connect to any others that you may find to be says Gardiner, the Mimecast security expert. How the WiFi network is named means Christopher Elliott is a consumer advocate, journalist and co-founder of the advocacy group Travelers United. Email him at LEWISTON Marc and Terry Goulet of Lewiston announce the engagement of their daughter, Krista Goulet of Thomaston, to Brian Mathieu of Thomaston, son of Victor and Celeste Mathieu of Greene. The future bride is a 2011 graduate of Lewiston High School and a 2017 graduate of Husson University with a doctorate in physical therapy.

She works at Continuum Physical Therapy in Rockland. The future groom is a 2011 graduate of St. Dominic Academy and also graduated in 2017 from Husson University with a doctorate in physical therapy. He is employed at Sheepscot Bay Physical Therapy in Waldoboro. An August 10 wedding is planned at Maine Lakeside Cabins.

Engagement Krista Goulet and Brian Mathieu New York Times Crossword Puzzle, Dear Abby and the horoscope: Page 4 TRAVEL NAVIGATOR Christopher Elliott If you can identify where this photo was taken, contact us at com or call 689-2896 and leave a voice mail with your answer, your name, town and phone number. Correct entries will be eligible for a drawing for a $20 gift card, courtesy of Hannaford Supermarkets. Find the Mystery Photo online at www.sunjournal.com/bplus. Helen Hader of Weld looks forward to the Mystery Photo every week and has recognized a few but never entered a guess. Last week, she immediately recognized the weathervane atop Burns Well Drilling on Route Road in Farmington and called in her guess.

She will receive a $20 gift card, courtesy of Hannaford Supermarkets. MYSTERY PHOTO BY RUSS DILLINGHAM Sponsored by B5 SUNDAY, MARCH 17, 2019 SUN JOURNAL PARENTING Goulet Mathieu Avoid using the for travel bargains Raising three kids is organized chaos; that is why I am having a fourth child WELCOME YOUR WEDDING ENGAGEMENT AND ANNIVERSARY ANNOUNCEMENTS Printed wedding or engagement forms are available upon request. You can also send in announcements by email to: or by regular mail to: Sun Journal, P.O. Box 4400, Lewiston, ME 04243-4400. Photos should be in color and of good quality.

If a photo will not reproduce well, we will contact you. Please include a contact name and phone number. For further information, call Cam Churchill at 207-6892801. Our days are full of yogurt stains, financial strains, work sprints and school scheduling. We offer 2 wedding packages for up to 72 guests or up to 200 guests.

Ceremony choice of Gazebo or All Souls Chapel. www.polandspringresort.com Please call (207) 998-4351 for a tour. Poland Spring Resort The Stress Free Zone We offer you the history the beauty the memories with our all-inclusive wedding reception Customized menus for your special day. Experienced Professional Call Phil at 946-3354 WWW.HURRICANEDELI.COM/CATERING CATERING OF GREENE The FORMAL IMAGE Bridal Shop OFF Selected Wedding Gowns Over 100 to choose from not be combined with any other discounts Formal Wear for Every Occasion 675 Main Lewiston Marketplace Mall 786-0310.