The Sydney Morning Herald from Sydney, New South Wales, Australia • 34

34 News Review THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD SATURDAY APRIL 51997 UNE-UP hm twees atihe one hme 6 I 2 iov-Od poessvtrtfUMjptASA PRODOCimtH increase Kookaburra Mike Carlton Sayings Prices paid for smart wheels year Tluii in addicts each sentenced to SO jail for carrying heroin in ailand There have been shrill cries of and their own stupid What a luxury to be anonymously self-righteous at one end of a telephone while a radio demigod agrees with you at the other The hang-cm-high brigade have had a field day I suppose IPs Bm Mother Teresa a sa Jal wnrangwomnofine toy kyuir tk TOTHINGdMknd IK I dagger about Ac I -Kl Sandline mercenary i 1 company? Course not This is how the fault was contacted by telephone by Sandtine this week: I am a representative of Oh yes and whom ate we speaking to? lony I giveyou my Ah and where might you be calling from? sorry I can't tell you but I am in a country in die Far Hmm how about a phone number so we can call back? No problem He gave a cellular phone number We called and woke up a woman somewhere in England! The cellular phone had been diverted to her home but no she couldn't say who her husband was or where he was or whedier he worked for Sandline don't know what my husband does" she said Right so that dears that upi mat was nau uenwnen wandered kmufyau a doud That -floats on N0i valee and hMs When aflat ones I saw a crowd A host of golden daflodHs "Then elnww know of ono pout who Deborah Spinner Jane McKenzie and Lyle Doniger had never been overseas before but were mug enough to accept air tickets and expenses from a Sydney man they barely knew with the promise of a few thousand dollars if they got the heroin safely home McKenzie a mother of two had been hoping to buy a second-hand car were just a pair of dumb said her distraught husband Ian this was for a secondhand Commodore Yes it was stupid but 50 years rotting in a Thai jail is a heavy punishment for stupidity And is disturbing that the Australian Federal Police were onto the scam from the beginning but stood by and let these three poor desperate suckers walk into a trap prepared with the police in Bangkok No matter that the penalty for kids pimply kids migrant kids brainy kids dumb kids It is drawing a longish bow to believe that gay-bashing in schools is and as the Gay ft Lesbian Teachers and Association would have it I detect the nimble of bandwagons rolling through the smoke of political correctness and Christopher himself has ideas about what a damages payout might mean I really want is a beautiful Mercedes convertible" he told his news conference Ah yes Every teenager should have one AND then there is political correctness of another sort The talk-back radio airwaves have glowed with pleasure at the news of three Sydney drug XPECTaftariftm from thafrontfrialntlienaar ftrtura Script writer from ABC-TlTa axcniciathitfy accurate nontfrwTVaariaa warn a uImhaJ a aa rape wn immiBB uj johimhi rOfllMOVWOy OTlIIMUlMiVIUI UI9 iafcaJia BW AA- IL- rant ratraonc my rasm urns DtharJoumoalaamtqukMytliat Port Moraaby madbiociis would mnctmeyaecraraameywOT wortdng with the almost gnWite Ray Or was that Mika Moon? Tom Lehrer on Rupert Murdoch's being presented with a Humanitarian of the Year award by Henry Kissinger New game new image f-ing I want to upped to Mr Murdoch Mark Geycr footballer on being suspended by the Super League judiciary Rupert Murdoch cant rent an office and cal a jinfldal system Chris Murphy lawyer on the Super League judiciary The Thah wore extremely embarrassed and anpy that Uaa Marie Smith had abacondedf and I befleve theae three are paying the price for her escape An officer with the Australian Federal Police after three Australians were sentenced to 50 jail in Thailand fra drug smuggling If Lloyd George's sexual exploits had been exposed in style we might have lost the First World War British Conservative peer Lord Deedes This la a result of a hysterical campaign by a tiny minority in the -a-u-a-a IMWIWipilBBWOlWBilPlllllPs The Government ia on dangerous grounds If it attempts to sanitise the offence in Australia would have been three years at most no matter that two little kids might never see their wretched mother again Nor should we mention that the drug trade flourishes as ever for while the pathetic small fry get pinched the big heroin barons barely miss a beat No the AFP has done its duty the arrest rate up and the talkback harridans are satisfied WHEN I heard that the stylish witty and attractive Felicity Kennctt was (hiving a BMW it was all I could to stop myself rushing out to buy one And that the idea apparently The kindly folks from the Bayern Motor wink Gescllschaft hand out free Beemers to carefully-chosen much-admired glitterati like Felicity in the hope tint we lesser mortals win drag out our chequebooks to emulate them Kennett is the sort of -person we like to see driving our said a BMW spokesperson smoothly when the stray broke And no doubt Mr Kennett a premier of Victoria the sort of person who should be the husband of the sort of person who drives a BMW although the company did not seem keen to expand on that angle Victorians have been agog at tiie news all week at the whiff of favours rendered and acknowledged The sort of person's husband has been at his insouciant best in denying that he the sort of person who might be the sort of person How different John Howard's approach to such matters Since becoming Prime Minister he has accepted a Mont Blanc fountain pen two pairs of RM Williams boob and a gold and pearl Mikimoto brooch He politely knocked back Bill din-ton's prezrie of a book signed by Franklin Delano Roosevelt and two valuable Indonesian ornamental daggers on the grounds that they were too costly Every man has hb price: But I do not think Mr Howard the sort of person who the husband of the sort of person who likely to be seen zooming out the gates of Kirribilli House in a freebie BMW HANG on a minute Isn't the age of 14 just a bit young to decide that you are proudly ry Call me old-fashioned but would have thought most 14-year-olds are still experimenting with their sexuality: boys bemused by their growing genitalia girls indulging in the odd confused crush on the school swimming captain Maybe not Christopher Tsak-alos 14 late of Cranebrook High School at Penrith has discovered that he is homosexual and complains that he has been beaten and abused for it Teachers stood by and did nothing he says even when they saw him bring bashed by up to 20 students with scissors held at his throat His mother Ms Vicky Tsaka-los claims Christopher has had to leave four schools for these reasons This is a lot for a kid just turned 14 but perhaps he has been gay for quite a while for one report said he had announced his sexual preferences at the even more precocious age of seven Either way the impact has been appalling has attempted suicide three times and receives regular psychological says Ms Tsakalos voluble in her defence It was a ready-made scandal with a cast of extras jostling to get on stage Activists and law-yen were enlisted a news conference was summoned and Christopher was photographed posing winsomely with a placard reading All Gay Bashings In The Gay ft Lesbian Teachers and Students Association announced that it gets up to 20 calls a week from distressed students a remarkable figure for a small group not listed in the phone book but there you are And the air was thick with talk of compensation claims and criminal charges could easily exceed said a barrister Matthew Baird The shock horror was accelerating as you watched Hmm We must accept that Christopher has had a horrible time at schooL But so do disabled kids fat kids skinny THE Canberra Times is in the habit of concocting elaborate April Day yams but this year it fell right into one itself On April 1 its own stunt was a front-page story about a leading academic whose research showed that April Day was celebrated cm the wrong date Indeed On April 2 the paper ran a large story on page 6 headed lined up to be ambassador in The idea that Tony Blair's British Labour Party woidd send the Iron Lady off to Washington might seem a trifle far-fetched but there it was in black and white Problem was that the stray was lifted from The Independent in Britain and yep it just happened to be its April Day joke Whoops The next day The Canberra Times published in die smallest print known to man that Independent has advised that die story'on Margaret Thatcher run yesterday was But it wasn't the only news organisation caught Associated Press picked up the yam and sent it out cm die wires unchecked Even die ABC used it in a news bulletin before its London correspondent was able to phone a warning DID you happen to notice what those mercenaries were carrying when they were kicked out of Papua New guys are the toughest oftHe tough the genuine dogs of war to whom an assault weapon is an extension of 1 their being But it was heart-warming to see them walking the gauntlet to their plane each of them clutching their personal (allow! Paint the pavilion OOO Lord what would a WOfUBWOflYI IHV9 Taxation Office has deckM that poetry Is a burinoau but apparently undontend quite how the poetiy buolnesa NSW Teachers Federation president Denb Fitzgerald after the NSW Government decided to remove two texts from the HCSlisL HARDLY have we finished celebrating our wonderful Aussie triumphs at the Oscars when we learn that our TV industry is gearing up for yet another world-beater A local production shop joining a British company to make Breakers shot on location at guessed It Bondi Beach will be quality said the series producer firmly show will have heavy emphasis on character and So not another surf opera then not just Baywetch Down Under It will have to be good to top that unforgettable Baywatch classic in which the beefcake lifeguard delivered a baby at the edge without disturbing the writhing swimming costume The wee mite emerged from the womb dean pink gurgling happily and about three months old The cameras will start turning in a few months which should be time for Waverley Council to slap a coat of paint on the crumbling Bondi Pavilion Otherwise the film crews will just have to shoot around tee fading old eyesore and much ebe as welL There no finer beach in all Australia but tts surroundings of cracked pavements scruffy patches of parched grass and rundown parking lot are a national embarrassment A NOal A to Set f-A JL JLknew NO a to It's his big happy bbthday Senator Mai CalataiL 59th today We want to A mMaaflkd 4ww wirtfritu NiNn stnons id Mimonp pouts and Joumuflute (Journalists? In the same breath as poets?) Edited by John Sharpe Phone 9282 3039 fax 9282 2772 Mweitiiiig Phone 9282 3886 fax 9282 1748 For Mosearch feebased research of articles in News Review phone 9282 3052 fax 9282 3656 the obvious question: what do you give a man alraady given hhnaelf everything? business within this The very led you to conclude that you had EdHod by TONY WRIGHT Appeals to your Sense IMu- inscrucdons torn SGasar (sfl Unpaid Default Cargo Peirsficoim Urgent Liquidation off 31 Dales I GO Lots) Re Patera to meet press and overdue BN BL 050H2 Instructions received from the mortgagee in posession to Rqukfaue by Pubfc Auction the entire vsknbie irrvinoy of 32 Bales Handmade prestige quality genuine Persian Rugs At High resolution video Superb sound 3D animation Sensibility Pentium processor with Intel's technology 'Affordably priced Superior support and service Changes to the cost of your prescription medicines Some medicines can cost hundreds of dollars but because of die Commonwealth Government subsidy through die Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme (PBS) they can cost you much less Since 1 January 1997 PBS medicines have only been available for Australian residents and eligible visitors bran overseas For further information phone 1800 020 613 (free call) NorthSydneyCounci 200 MdlerLSt tS-giiDiEDnhl Introducing our all new fcntium processor with MMX technology based PC Aheieemwpnntiaeai UHnslhe leaves you Mkkv far msre Imagine red He cobun: Irish resokKioa video teYrfic sound and upofa 3D psphics Our Intel IVnduni processor sAh kteTs lOOC tadnoiosy tMed PC is ready to haded the haeieuceeblwea iL Plus you on even ran eophieHralEd wlataa ALL GUARANTEED AUTHENTIC CERTIFIED GENUINE When jrou present yom prescription please aveyour Medicare cardor other proof available to show that you are eligible nntdfaniMdmfawfcai SnthaihMfamQaaWM Ufa GUM fata Rugs from approx 2Ax I ft up to ISfax I Ifa many runners up to 9m 100 Clearance required i mhiRMi aplg MfNlfnhidrfl star Gcncnl hdcon Msx S2Q00 pt PBS pvuntprion tern Oonooatawl Pkdnnc $U0 per FBSRFBS piacitpckin In 161240 to qiaUfr fa the Safety Net Omnwlnnal Palkwir $16640 BqaUy far the Safety Ntc C0MPUC0N Garopucaa IS GMes Snecl Cnasoed frail nkMnHMjMeMHml ita For advertising rates and demographic information phone Andrew Lockwood (02) 9282 2172 CALL (02)9417 7166 nc i.