The Algona Republican from Algona, Iowa on July 25, 1894 · Page 3
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The Algona Republican from Algona, Iowa · Page 3

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, July 25, 1894
Page 3
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BfettffiLldAil, ALGOSi, MLY 25, Take Substitute Royal Baking Powder Absolutely Pure feat t*ftd jt&ftftl Which Were too S<-n- AAtloftftl is fete*!** Notice. A Couple el. California ranchors looked tneir ehitts over the six-rail ience that divided their possessions. "Feel ftfty 'arthquake over your Way las' 1 bight?" inquired one. "Stop; hot as 1 recollect 6ft. 1 * "Maybe you .wuzi blastin* out ,"Nop; I atluz burn 'em out in the "Your hired man ain't turned Anarchist and tried to blow up your bouse, has lie?'* "Nop; he's spadih' aroUii* the fruit trees over yon." "The did woman d'lltt't build a fire trith kerosene, did she?" "Well, it tttoilt ft bin your boy Jake a nlayin' with the powder- hoi*n afoun'the fireplace?'' "Say, neighbor, you're getting down puny close to home new. 1 e'pose your 'tention was 'tfacted to BUthin 1 over my way yistei'day?" "Vep; I thoi'ighta bungshell had busted over thtit direction somewhere." "Well, it was me cleanin 1 out the chimbley. It got stopped up with sut till it wouldn't draw, and my family wtiX smoked till We looked like bacon. When I was in town •Saturday I bought one o' these here big skyrockets that packs a whole broorl o' little rockets along with it, and when it bust.* sends thorn scootlri' • in every direction. I tied a big gunny sack to the tale of it to swab out the chimbley, stood up in tho fireplace and touched her off.." "Did it clean out tho chimbley?" "Yep; clean as a whistle. Didn't leave a brick, an' come mighty near cleanin' out the ranch. FaJlin* bricks killed two calves over in the lot, an' a litter o 1 pigs back o' the barn. 1'm.thirikin' of gottin' some little, ones to clean lamp chimbleys w ith." Far From the Madding? Croird. This is what many a nervous sufferer •wishes himself every day. But there will soon bo DO necessity to forsake tho busy— albeit somewhat noisy—scenes oC metropolitan .life, if the nervous invalid will begin, and persist ia tho use'of,- Hostotter's Stomach Bitters, which will speedily brin£ relief to a weak and over-strung nervous system. Day by clay the body acquires vigor through the influence of th'is reliable tonic, and in the vitality which it diffuses through the system the nerves conspicuously share. • ijleep, appetite, digestion— all these are promoted by this popular invigorant, and if they are, who can douirt that tho acquisition of health and nerve quietude will be speedy and complete? Constipation, biliousness, malaria, nausea, sea sickness • and cramps in the stomach, yield to this remedy. A word to the wise is sufficient, but a fool needs the whole book. "A. Cup of Parks' Ten at night moves the bowels in the morning." A setting hen is anxious over the out- 1 come of her mission, she broods over it constantly. KNOWLEDGE - Brings comfort and improvement and tends'"to' personal enjoyment when rightly used. The many, who live better than others and enjoy lifeinore, with less expenditure, by more promptly 'adapting the world's best products to the needs of physical being, will attest the-value to health of the pure liquid laxative principles embraced in the remedy, Syrup of Figs, i, Its excellence is due to its presenting in the form most acceptable and pleasant to the taste, the refreshing and truly ' beneficial properties of a perfect lax- Dative; effectually cleansing the system, dispelling'colds, headaches- 1 and fevers and permanently curing constipation. It has given satisfaction to millions and met with the approval of the medical profession, because it acts on the Kid' jieys, Liver and Bowels without weak* ening them and it is perfectly free from every objectionable substance, Syrup of Ftes is for sale by all drug* • gists in OOc anu $1 bottles, but it is manufactured by Hie California Fig Syrwp QQ, only, whose name is printed on every .'- jwgftftge, also the name, Syrup of 'Figs, ' an<J ping'well informed, you mil not , accept wy,w\)Slfailte it offered, , 'tyCDJTATIQN-" fME TIMES. "Be that SltteUi in the — "tfr*ft *Va« On* Mouth *HUi Laufchtft*"— mossed Ai-a Weak; they'll Laugh. Slmll thfe m wpttftBjss.jer M jtagp Uou JSfiWls, cut,frQw £tpn <3pff e e wrappers; BBS a &eeftt gtwop to wBflstege, WrKRJerlWp* 8Sff^^^lJ^w«teel«l» July ir>.— Rev. Kr. tal* v?ho is now in Australia, on his roufid-the- world journey, has {.elected its the subject for his sermon, through the press to-day, "Laughter," the text being taken from Psalm 136: Si ' 'Then Was our mouth filled with laughter," and Psalm 2: 4: "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh," Tbirtyeight times does the Bible make reference to this configuration of the features and quick expulsion of breath which we call laughter. Sometimes it is borh of the sunshine and sometimes the" midnight. Sometimes it stirs the sympathies of angels and sometimes the e&chinnation of devila All healthy people laugh. Whether it pleases the Lord or displeases* him; that depends upon when we laugh and at what we laugh. My theme to-day is the laughter of (he liible, namely: Sarah's laugh, or that of scepticism; David's laugh, or that of spiritual exultation; the fool's laugh, or that of sinful merriment; God's laugh, or that of infinite condemnation; heaven's laugh, or that of eternal triumph. Scene: An Oriental tent; the occupants, old Abraham and Sarah, perhaps wrinkled and decrepit. Their three guests are three angels — the Lord Almighty one of them. Jn return for the hospitality shown by the old people God promises .Sarah that she shall become the ancestress of the Lord Jesus Christ. Sarah laughs in the face of God; she does not believe it. She is affrighted at what she has done. She denies' it. She says: "I didn't laugh." Then God retorted with an emphasis that silenced all disputation; "15ut thou didst laugh." My friends, the laugh of scepticism, in all ages, is only the echo of Sarah's laughter. God says he will accomplish a thinjr; and men say it can not be done. A great multitude laugh at the miracles. They say they are contrary to the laws of nature. What is a l.iw of nature? It is God's way of doing a thing. You ordinarily cross a river at one ferry. To-morrow yon change for one day and you go across another ferry. You made the rule. Have you not the right to change it? You ordinarily come in at that door of the church. Suppose that next Sabbath you should come in at the other door? It is a habit you have. Have you not a right to change your habit? A law of nature is God's habit — his way of doing things. If he makes the law, has he not a right to change it at any time he wants to change'it? Alas! for the folly of those who laugh 'at God when he says: "I will do a thing;" they responding; "You' can't do it." God says that the Bible is true — it is all true. Bishop Colenso laughs; Herbert Spe,ncer laughs; Stuart Mill laughs; great German universities laugh; Harvard laughs — softly! A great many of the learned institutions with long raws of professors seated on the fence between Christianity and infidelity, laugh softly. They say: ' 'We d idn' t laugh. " That was Sarah's trick. God thunders from the heavens: "But thou didst laugh." The Garden of Eden was. only a fable. There never was any ark built; or if it was built, it was too small to have two of every kind. The pillar of fire by night was only the northern lights. The ten plagues of Egypt only a brilliant specimen of jugglery. The sea parted, because the wind blew violently a great while from one direction. The sun and moon did not put themselves out of the way for Joshua. Jacob's ladder was only horizontal and picturesque clouds. The destroying angel smiting tfae first-born in Egypt was only cholera infantum become epidemic. The gullet of the whale, by positive measurement, too sjnall to swajlow a prophet. The stofrv of the immaculate conception a shock to all decency, The lame, the dumb, the blind, the halt, cured by mere human surgery, The resurrection of Christ's friend, only a beautiful tableau; Christ, and Lazarus, and Mary, and Martha acting their parts well, My fvieijde, there is not «• 4QO' trjne op statement of God's holy word that has not bee.n derided by the scep- ticism of the day, I take up this book of King 1 James's translation, I opn* &ider it a pevfecfc WbJe; b«t here aye sceptics who want it torn to pieces, Ana now, with' this BJbJe inmyhand, let we te»r put »U those portions which the Bcepticisjq, pf this day n}an.ds sliaH be torn put. Wh»t go first? ' 'Wel.i, " says some o,B8,ip the audience, "take put aU that abouf crea.- tJon wd ftbout the first settlement of $h,$ wsi-ld, " Away goes Genesis. * 'Sfo w, " the miraculous guid&ce oj JB tlje the Kings < _-_,,, ' But I think, Boy friends, We itftd t6f keep the iiible a little longfef ift^ tflet It hits done pretty well f6r > good man? 1 yearn Then there are oM people who find it a comfort t6 have" it on their laps, and children like th§ stor ies in it Let us keep it for a cufi* osity, anyhow. If the BibliB is td feS ihi-otvri ottt of the school, and but of the court room, so that theft ttb inofd swear by it, ftfad it is to be ptit in fl' dark co«ridor of the city library* th§ K^rnn on one sidn and the v/ritinps of Confucius on the other, tlien let tiS each one keep a copv for himself, fdf tve might have trouble, und we tvoiild. want to be litlder the delusions oi itS consolatiotis: and \ve might die, and we would want the delusion of tli8 exalted residence of God's right hatidj which it mentions 0! what an awftii thing- it is to laugh iti God's face, afld hurl his revelation back at hinli After awhile the day will come when they will say they did hot laugh. Then all the hypercritisinS, all the caricatures, and all the 1 learned sneers in the "Quarterly Ke* views," will be brought to judgment', and amid the rocking of everything.' beneath, and amid the Warning of everything above, God will tlitmdeft "Hut thou didst laugh!" 1 think thd most fascinating laugher atChristiaui«j tv 1 ever remember was a man in A r eWf England. He made the word of God; seem ridiculous, and he laughed on at our holy religion until he came to die, and tbcMi he said: "My life has been a failure — a failure domestically; 1 have no children; a failure socially, for 1 am treated in the streets like a pirate; a failure professionally, because I know but one minister that has adopted my • sentiments." For a quarter of a century he laughed at Christianity; and ever since Christianity has bnen laughing at him. Now, it is a mean thing to go into a man's house and steal his goods; but I tell you the most gigantic burglary ever invented is the proposition to steal these treasures of our holy religion.. The meanest laughter ever uttered is the .laugh of the sceptic. The next laughter that I shall mention as being in the Bible, is .the laugh of God's condemnation: "He that sittelh in the heavens shall laugh." Again: "I will laugh at bis calamity." With such demonstration/ will God greet every kind of great sin and wickedness. But men build up villainies higher and higher. Good men almost pity God. because he is so schemed against by men. Suddenlya pin drops out of the machinery of. wickedness, or a secret is revealed,'-' and the foundation^ begins to rock;: finally, the whole thing is demolished;: What is the matter? I will tell you; what the matter is. That crash, oi'; ruin is only the reverberation of Oo'd^s; laughter. In the money market .there!! are a great many good men, and a great-many, fraudulent men. A fraudu-, lent man there says* "1 mean to have" my mill ion. " lie goes to work reckle's?' of honesty, and he gets his lirstsi 00,000.^ He gets after awhile his $,'-'00,000.^ After awhile he gets his .$500, (BOO. "Now," he says, "I have ,dnly one more move to make, and, I shall have my million. " He gathers up all his resources; he makes that • one last grand move, he fails an'd loses all, and he has not enough money of his own left to pay the cost of the' car to his home. People can npt'understandthis spasmodic revulsion. Some said it was a sudden turn in Erie railway stock, or in Western Union or in Illinois Central; some said one thing and some another. They all guessed wrong, I will tell you what it was: "lie that sitteth in the heavens laughed." A man in Xew York said he. would 'be the .richest man in the city. He left his honest, \Vork as a mechanic, 'and got into the city councils some way, and in ten years stole $15,000,000 from the city government Fifteen million dollars! He held the legislature of the state of New York in the grip of his right hand. Suspicions were aroused. The grand • jury presented indictments. The whole land stood aghast, The man who expected to put half the city in his vest pocket goes to Blackwell's island; goes to Ludlow street jail, breaks prison, and goes across the sea; is rearrested and brought back, and again remanded to jail. Wh.y? "Ee that sitteth in the heaveps Unighea," Rome \vas a great empire; she had Hovace and Virgil among her poets; she had Augustus and Constantino among her era^rors, But what mean the Defaced Pantlieop, and the Forum turned into a cattle market, and the broken»waUed 'CpUseum, »ud the architectural skeleton of her great aqueducts? What was that thvm<jer? "0)11" you say, "tj^at was. $he roar 9f the bftttwiBf vam.8 agajnst h,ev walj§," Jfp, What was that quiver? ' the Gospel must e&me under that tremendous bombardment. God wants us all to repent. He counsels, he coaxes, he importunes, and he dies lot us. He comes down out of heaven. He puts all the world's sin on one shoulder, he puts all the world's sorrow on the other shoulder, and then with that Alp on one side and that Himalaya on the other, he starts up the hill back of •Jerusalem to achieve our saltation. He puts the palm of his right foot on one long spike, and he puts the palm of his left foot on another long spike, and then, With his hands spotted with his own blood, he gesticulates, saying: "Look! look! and live. With the crimson veil of my sacrifice I will cover up all your sins; xvith my dying groan I willswal- low up all your groans. Look! live." But a thousand of you turn your back on that, and then this voice of invitation turns to a tone divinely ominous, that sobs like a simoom through the iirst chapter of Proverbs: "Because 1 have called and ye refused, 1 have stretched out my right harid and no man regarded; but ye have set at naught all my counsel, and would none of my reproof; I, also, will laugh at your calamity." 0! what a laugh that is—a deep laugh; a long, reverberating laugh; an overwhelming laugh; God grant we may never hear it. But in this day of merciful visitation, yield your heart to Christ, that you may spend all your life on earth under his smile, and escape ,for ever the thunder of the laugh of God's indignation. The other laughter mentioned in the Bible, the only one I shall speak of, is heaven's laughter, or the expression of eternal triumph. Christ said to his disciples: "Blessed are ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh." That makes me know positively that we are not to spend our days in heaven singing long-meter psalms. The formalistic and stiff notions of heaven that some people have would make me miserable. I am glad to know that the heaven of the Bible is not only a place of holy worship, but of magnificent sociality. "What," say you, "will the ringing laugh go around the circles of the saved?" 1 say, yes; pure laughter, cheering laughter; holy laughter. It will be a laugh of congratulation. When we meet a friend who has suddenly come to a fortune, or who has got over some ttire sickness, do we not shake hands, do we not laugh with him? And when we get to heaven and see our friends there, some of them having come up out of great tribulation, why we will say to one of. them: "The last time/I saw you, you had been suffering for six weeks under a low'intermitteiit fever;" or, to another, we will say: "You for ten years were limping wjth the rheumatism, and you were full^pf. complaints when we saw you last; I congratulate you 'on this eternalre- covery." We shall laugh. Yes;' we shall congratulate; all those who have •;eorae^oufc of great'-flnauciai-embarrassp' merits''", in this world, because they i;.-have become millionaires .in heaven. Ye/shall laugh. It .shall be a 1 ugh of re-association. It is just ,ural. for us to laugh when we friend we have not-seen'for ten as anything is possible : to be 1. When we. meet our friends horn we have been parted ten, nty, or thirty years, will it not as na meet years natur from or tw M QhJ" quiver- fif gt the hostile ieg-jo«s. " - $«, The roar were the outburst laughter fpgj» th> de* de- 'hjp .604 ^and fee, Babylon* d.§J|s$ be wi h infinite congratulation? Our percebtion quickened, our knowledge improved, we Will know each other at a nat/h. We will have to talk over'all thatjhas happened in the ten years of his Heavenly residence, and we telling him An return all that has happened durifag- the ten years of his absence front earth. Ye shall laugh. I think ie Whitefleld and John Wesley will have a laugh of contempt for their earthly collisions; and Toplady am} Charles Wesley will have a h of contempt for their earthly ^understandings; and the two .ers, who were in a law suit all thdir days, will have a laugh of contempt over their eartlily disturbance about a line fence, Exemption from, aljjannoyance. Immersion in all gladness. Ye shall laugh. Christ says so, Yej shall laugh. Yes, it will "be a la|gh of triumph. Oh! what a pleasant thing it will be to stand on the 1 of heaven and look down at n, and liuri at him defiance, and him caged and. chained, and we ver free from his dutches. Aha! it will be a laugh of rojal greet- You know how the JTrenchmen ered when Napoleon *cajno back >m Elba; you know how the English ered when Wellington caine back w Waterloo; you knov? how Ameri- cheered when Jvosswth arrived Hungary; you remember bow e cheerea wjien fgmpey canje j? victor over 9QO cities Every " ! t.ha W| the was a laugh. &ut, 0]j! m *ht»er greeting, the gladder in ^ whett the snow white cavajry tr pp of heaven f>haU go through the st jets, and, according to the, book o$ B ^elfttjon,, CbvistriB the redcoat, the or pson coat, on a white horse, &«cl ajj. wt; ftrmies of hpftven- wwte horses, Oh! when ~^ tliftt .cavalcade, yye s!)»U 9»^er, 'oes »Qt your he^ffc the thought Qt the During a hearing in the Jefferson market (Philadelphia police court the other day a woman among the specta* tors suddenly shook her fist at one of the policemen. When an attempt was made to eject her she resisted so forcibly that she was arrested and hauled before the justice. "What has the policeman done that you should shake your fist at him?" the judge asked. "Nothing," replied the woman, "only he looks like a man I don't like. She was fined 910. A woman in Georgia was recently tried before n court on the charge of obtaining money under false pretenses. A clear case appears to have been made out against her, but her lawyer secured her discharge without denying a single allegation and without calling a single witness in her behalf. He simply asked the prosecutor whether he could swear teat tho defendant was not of sound mind, and, on the answer being in the negative, the judge ordered the woman's discharge and lectured tho prosecutor for bringing a case into court in which the prosecutor could not take oath as to the mental capacity of the defendant. INVESTIGATE the irrigated lands of Idaho and you will find them the cheapest, the best and the most accessible to markets. EMIGRATE to Idaho and you will be happy. Its a new country, its for the poor man aud the smaller farmer and fruit grower. IRRIGATE the lands of Idaho and you have a surety of crops and fruit in abundance. COGITATE? Of course you will, then send for our Idaho advertising matter. Address E. L. """ Lomax, G. P. <$• T. A.. Omaha, Neb. Every preacher ought to remember that the only thing that caii be used to bit sin square in the head is truth. Are You Seeking a New Location? •/..-..Great interest is being manifested, in tho rapw developement of tho country which the Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Gulf Railroad has opened ; in Missouri, Kansas and Arkansas. The resources of Southwest, Missouri and Northwestern Arkansas, arc varied. It is a great grain, grass' and slock country! . It is rich'in mines of lead, /ino and coal! Immense forests of timber! •Vpple orchard of America! >• The principal points are, Hume. Mb., Pittsburg, Kan.. Jopliri, Mo., Neosho. Mo' Sulphur!Springs, Ark., Gentry, Ark, and bijoam Springs, Arlr, "> A copy of the Mts-ounc AND ARKANSAS FA.KMKR & FRUITMAJT, giving full description of the points of interest on the Kansas City, Pittsburg & Gulf 'Railroad, will be sent freo on application. It will pay you to look this country over before deciding to locate elsewhere. JAMES DONOHUB, Geu'l Passenger Agent, Kansas City, Mo. The man who stays afc home and minds his own business is not considered a good citizen among agitators. An Kcho from tho World's Fair. The Lake Shore Route has recently gotten out a very handsome litho- water coin- of the "Exposition Flyer," the famous twenty hour train in service between New York and Chicago during the fair. Among the many wonderful achievements of the Columbian year this train—which was the fastest long distance train ever, run- holds a prominent place, and to anyone interested in the subject the picture is well worth framing. Ten cent* in stamps or silver sent to 0, K, Wil* ber, West Pass. Agt, Chicago, will secure one. If you don't get along well with your neighbor, don't get n dog and file his teeth, (Jet more religion, Winter Wlie»t, 100 Bujhelt* Per Aure Wondoi-ful reports come in on Salzei''s new winter wlioat and monster- wintev rye, Qyev 3.0QO farmers planted these grains last fall aua now report yields of SO to 70 bubhels wjieat, and ever 00 bushels' rye per acre, The way it looks 100 bw&jjejs will be reached,, Send ta<lohnA. .Salzei 1 SeedQp,, tft > GrossB, Wis., 4o postage stamps, for samples of this wheat and vyo und fall ^ _ U ivp 9,0144 gain the" whole earth it ft? soon 'as wp got ' \>» W!J1 cl«89 ttpt) O&rpeta. tog m H. Uneguulpd for pieuolog hyuae, OTft Vov ray Qod that \vhee wp get woyj4 m& are fo* s,uch; His Parting Shot. She spurned his suit. "Sever!" she insisted. Nor yet did hope flee his breast. "Can you not," he asked huskily, "leftrh to love me?" .She shook her head. "And still—" He hissed through his clenched teeth Aft he made for the door. "—they say never too ol<l to learn." She started violently, turned pale and sank in ft tniserable heap on the floor, crushed by his cruel words. The Colonel's Downfall. '•What has become of the colonel?" "Well, sab, the colonel is working—yes. sab, working—in a low down dime museum, sob. He stands on a platform, sab, befor' a lot of»grinning yokels and drinks a duart of plain water, sab, every two hours." Relief for Mothers. Little Boy—"What's the use of so Many- queer letters in words? Look at that 'o' in 'indicted. 1 » Little Girl—"I guess those is jusfc put In BO mothers can get an excuse to send their children to school aud have a little peace." If a man is selfish, not cure him of it. getting married will CROSS-GRAINED, sour, irritable, so that the •whole world seems wrong. That's the way you feel when your liver is inactive. You need Doctor Pierce's Pleasant Pellets to stimulate it and correct it, and clear up your system for you. You won't mind the taking of them— they're sp small aud so natural in their i effects. All that you notice with them is the good that they do. In the permanent cure of Biliousness, Jaundice, Constipation, Indigestion, Sour Stom- ache, Dizziness, Sick or Bilious Headaches, and every liver, stomach, or bowel disorder, they're guaranteed to give satisfaction, or the money is returned. : Don't tinker at your" Catarrh with unknown medicines. It's risky and dangerous. You may• drive- it to the lungs. Get tho Remedy, that has cured Catarrh for years and years — Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. The makers guarantee ib to cure, or beuent, in the worst cases, : Kdiifiitionai. W A 'N r rF,TV' T 9 U;sIG I'EOPUM to fit thorn- T, , -""V- x ^^ selves 1'or business, lor the State University, or for teucUln B . The Iowa City Com- mercinl College, Academy and School of Shorthand offer uneqiiuleU faculties. Our -graduates sesuro esne lent positions. Send for catalogue. . Address AVilltg & >V)llliUMS, Iowa City; Iowa. lown, Texas aud Nobriirim Jands. Merc'buucllse, Stocks, eto., bought and sold. Burke & Illalse, DCS Mollies, la. Sundries, .Repairing, .Etc Write HE before buyiuff. New iindM band. DCS JIoliics Cycle Co. Bfeydes, Wood iwatov tiinks of a!l sizes Write 1'or prices, stating ; your nee !«. Gco.A.Carter DesMolnes BICYCLES AXI> HKPAIKS—We have one of Hie best equipped repair plants in the west. Vonr work solicited. We ulways linyo bargains in hew and second bandinutibiues. Send 1'or cat. Mention this lid; Tlui l.atlirop-Kliotlea Co., DCS Moiiies, ia. A <m? ATTIC! t''" 1 cam from 46 to 850 per day sell. ,n.U.Il/l\ X io ing stock iu a Corporation that will, pay lurgu dividends; money loaned an! por cent on eui>y terms. Particulars apply to I). D.vViS, State , 318 I. L. & T. Building:, Dea Moines. JKOR BUSINESS. SUort- Jiuii<l, Telegraphy. Jfow catalogue free. Jowit Bust- nosb College, DCS 3\Ialnes, ([mm YDLEsHSiy And supplies of all kinds foi'Thresliermen, Cream, erles an5 Steam Users. K, B. CARTER, 318- Court Arc.. Pee Moinea, III. ..' ', \8ptpped 0. O, D l/wJtu privilege pi i 1 1 examination, 1X3- [turn to ua free of eh urge if not satisfactory, No cusli in advance : required. Sail), pies of our flna i ,„ , „ =— hue of Hand W Wool Trousers and rules for self measurement walled free. Write this weet. • TAYLOR-NEWELL CO,, 313 Court Avenue, - . J>es Moines, $3 PANTS. pro ORDER I TpYourMeaaure fy :Voi ^ ^ o. .%S blanks. E 50 CENTS. Alt. DRUGGISTS

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