Lenox Time Table from Lenox, Iowa on March 5, 1936 · Page 3
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Lenox Time Table from Lenox, Iowa · Page 3

Lenox, Iowa
Issue Date:
Thursday, March 5, 1936
Page 3
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LENOX TIME TABLE, LENOX, IOWA ADVENTURERS' CLUB "0?i Jacob's Ladder" By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter. W ELL, sir, here's one of those automobile stories I've been looking for. By golly, I knew they were there waiting for | me. Why, doggone it, there must be a million good auto aclven- • tures in hiding. The field isn't even scratched yet. Half our adventuring today is done in automobiles, and I'll bet most every one of you has a good gas-buggy yarn in mind that you just haven't gotten around to sending me yet. This automobile yarn Is n lulu, too. It comes from George H. Smith, | and the trouble George got Into, well, gosh hang It, It's almost enough to make a man sell his car and put the dough Into life Insuranco. Of course, George Smith can't very well sell that bus of his. In the first place he doesn't own It, and In the second he makes his living driving the doggone thing. George has been a truck driver since 1921 and he must be a pretty good one, too, for he drove that old patrol wagon for ]2 years without getting Into any really serious trouble. Here Begins the Story of George's Woes. One day, back In 1933 though, George did get Into trouble. But I'm not the man to tell you about that. Let George do itl "I was driving a big freight van," says George, "from Boston to Albany. I was getting along fine until just before I got to Pittsfleld. Then, coming down a steep hill called Jacob's Ladder, the car seemed to get away from me. "I had to grab the hand brake to prevent a smash, and what racket that brake made. I got her to the bottom of the hill all right, though, and there I found I'd broken the brake shoe on the drive shaft. "That left me nothing but the foot brake. Maybe I should have stopped right there and had It fixed. If I'd had any Idea of what was going to happpen, I darned sure would have. But lots of drivers got along with a hand brake so I stepped on the gas and took a chance." Only One More Big Hump to Get Over. George's truck rolled on through Plttsfield and took the steep grade down Lebanon mountain without any trouble. He had left all the steep spots In his route behind him now—all except one, and he was coming to that—a small mountain that drops down Into the town of Nassau, New York. George rolled over the top of that mountain and had just started down the other side when suddenly his foot brake slipped and the van leaped forward. George grabbed for the shift lever—tried to throw her back Into first. It was no use. He tried the brake again, but this time the foot brake SMASH! The Side of the Van Hit a Tree. didn't work at all. And all the time the truck was gathering speed aa It raced down the steep Incline toward the bottom. It's Not the Hill—It's What's Below! It was only four miles to the bottom of that hill, but, as George saya, a lot can happen on a four-mile hill, especially when there's a town at the bottom. The truck, by this time, was going faster than any truck was ever built to go—swaying from side to side and all but leaping from the road. George made a right turn and negotiated a left—prayed that he wouldn't meet any traffic. Now houses began to flash by, warning him that the town at the bottom of the hill was not far away. "All I had," says George, "was a horn and a prayer. I dropped down a grade steeper than the rest, with a sharp curve at the bottom. And at the speed I was making I knew I'd never make that turn." Crash of Truck Saves Driver's Life. Well, he didn't—exactly. The van hit the curve and started to dip. George clutched the wheel and held his breath as both his left wheels raised off the ground. He braced himself for a fall and then—SMASH— the side of the van hit a tree, tearing half the body from the wheels. But that crash had saved George's life. The force of the impact knocked the big truck back on all four wheels again and It caromed off down the last steep grade toward the town. Ahead of him red traffic lights turned green as he roared through the village of Nassau, his horn screeching a frantic warning. George steered the big van to the side of the road—rubbed his tires Jigalnst the curb In a vain effort to slow it down. Then he hit a short upgrade and came to a stop on the outskirts of the village. "My knees," George says, "were like rags and I had to sit down a while. I looked back down the street and there was freight scattered along the curbing as far as I could see. I looked under the truck and found that the pinion gear was gone out of the rear end. "A town officer drove up and I was arrested. Reckless driving was the charge, but when the kindly old judge heard my story he let me off with a $10 fi".e." ©—WNU Service. Michigan Jack Pine Does Not Mature for 80 Years Considerable has been said in the past regarding the large amount of nmture jack pine that may be found on state-owned lands, particularly In state forests. Most of these re- Ports emanate from those who would like to see this timber harvested for commercial purposes, writes Albert Stoll, Jr., In the Detroit News. A careful check of the state holdings would reveal that there Is very little, if any, so-called mature jack Pine on. these holdings. What undoubtedly Is meant Is the merchantable jack pine. Under the most favorable growing conditions Jack pine matures in Michigan at about eighty to ninety years of age. It is conceded, however, that before this period much of this forest growth becomes merchantable for pulpwood, box wood, railroad ties and the like, but it Is by no means mature. Even after reaching maturity, Jf fire and disease are ellm- from their stands the trees may persist for many years longer without deteriorating. Reforestation in Michigan did not begin until 1004, and even the oldest of our jack pine plantations are far from being mature today. It is quite true that some of the land which reverted to the state did contain a fair stand of natural jack pine which is approaching close to maturity, but there Is so little of this that the state would be unwarranted in attempting to harvest tt- The Jack pine tree of northern Michigan, while not as valuable commercially as other species of pines, or hardwood, has gone far in covering the lumbering and fire scars of the past generation and has a distinct recreational valno. Papyrus Earlier Than Vellum Papyrus Is of much earlier origin than vellum and probably Is the second process in writing from the engraving on stones or rocks. This was succeeded by the engraving on clay tablets, which were afterward baked. Scenes and Persons in the Current News 1—Students rioting In the streets of Cairo, Egypt, against British control. 2—View during the Lincoln birthday ceremonies at the Lincoln memorial In Washington which President Roosevelt attended. 3—Gun crews of the Italian Alpine forces operating under fire on the northern front in Ethiopia. President Sends Flag Boy Reminds President of Unkept Promise Austin Gannon of Boston (stand- Ing in rear), with six of bis seven younger brothers and sisters looking at the new flag which was sent them at the order of President Roosevelt. Austin, who is thirteen years old, had been promised the flag that draped the coffin of his father, a World war veteran who died last August. When the flag didn't come he complained to the President. As soon as the request was brought to the President's attention, he ordered' that a new flag be sent to the youngster nnd his brothers and sisters. When House Runs Into Truck, It's News When a man bites a dog, that's news, according to the old newspaper adage. The same thing applies to n house running Into a truck. It happened on the outskirts of St. Petersburg, Fla., whore a house-moving crew was pulling this structure across the highway. Despite the wreckage of the truck, none in it were seriously injured. Federal Judge May Be Removed From Office This is Federal Judge Halstead Ritter of the Southern district of Florida, whose impeachment was what Mexicans Demonstrate Against Communists about: Irvin S. C«bb recommended by the judiciary committee of the house by a vote o/ 11 to 7: Residents of Monterrey, Mexico, holding an anti-Communist demonstration in front of the city boll, carrying banners with such slogans as: "We Won't Be Slaves of Russia," "Depart From Our Shores, Yon Sou of Stalin," and "Long Live the Constitution of Mexico." Kidnaping Law*. BEVERLY HILLS, CALIF. —Do you remember the feverish, the almost hysterical eagerness to make kidnaping a capital offense which swept legislature on legislature---Missouri and California and other states besides—after the Lindbergh baby was stolen? You must remember; It wasn't long ago. And now will some bright .little boy or girl tell the rest of the clnss just how many kidnapers, who were tried, convicted and condemned under these laws, have been legally put to death since then? And does anyone seriously believe that anywhere In the Union, Bruno Hauptmann would today stand appreciably closer to the electric chair, had not child-murder been added to the other hideous crime of child-stealing? We're a great people for laws— not for enforcing laws; dearie me, no, we're much too tender-hearted for that rough stuff—but Just for having nice ornamental laws on the statute books. Let's see how many more we enact before the spring thaw comes. * * » Old "Uncle Wilbur" S O THE ex-kaiser is getting on toward eighty. It seems ouly yesterday when I was one of three American correspondents with the Invading German forces In 1914. Among ourselves we wanted to be nble to refer freely to our imperial host without giving offense to anybody In his army. So we twisted Emperor Wilhelm Hohenzollern Into "Uncle Wilbur I-Ienncbury of Cliamhersburp, Pa.," and went about speaking of him as one to whom we wore indebted for diverse favors but whoso policies and methods frequently wore open to criticism. To the world today he's the woodchopper of Doom; to the suppressed royalists of the Vnterland he's still, I suppose, tlie all-highest. I'.nt so long as I can remember thoKC mad days In Belgium and France, he'll bo "Uncle Wilbur," n good follow while lie had It. Miiybo If he hadn't flRtirnd his divine right was better than the devastating left bonk of world opinion he might still bo the all-ages heavyweight champion of European royalty. And there might be more European royalty than there Is. * * * Reviving the Old T WALKED Into a boor parlor to•*• day but, if that was the parlor, I'd hate to visit the pantry—and there in front of the mirror was an old frlcn'd—a friend I hadn't seen for full thirty years. It was n framod sign reading as follows: "Don't ask us to charge. The Light Brigade charged and look at what happened to them." * * * Wrestling As an Art E VERY time I go to n so-called wrestling contest, I say to iny- solf that, if only we revived the an cient Roman sport of matching gladiators to murder one another publicly, no building anywhere could hold the multitudes that would flock to the blood-lettings. It can't be the posing, posturing cheap acting, deliberate fouling, obvious blppodroming, the fixed victories nnd the faked defeats that bring the crowds swarming about the ninstodoiilc musters of the manly art of self-pretcnso, tlinse blubber-laden practitioners of the pleasant science of mayhem. All the cruel agony can't be make- believe, all the seeming sulTerlnj, Isn't rehearsed beforehand. That's what makes the business pay. The creak of the dislocated ankle nm' the brisk snap of the splintering knee-joint, the scream as a bruta thumb gouges at n tortured eyebal •—It's so much music to the popu lar ear. * * * Stifling the Urge I T'S almost time for the master tailors to announce that tills yeai men will wear bright colors. The; do that regularly nud nothing eve conies of It except vain longing] for us, poor cowardly worms tha we are. Being a race of 'fraid-cats we'll go right on encasing ourselve In garments suitable for pallbear ers at a Dunkard funeral. I'm typical of the whole thwarte* male species. My impulse Is to g pick out something suitable for fancy vest and then have a whol suit made of it. Right now I've go my eye on a nobby checked patter in black and white squares tha would make me look a good dea like a marble-tiled entry hall. Bu will I Indulge my stifled natura cravings? Don't make me laugh It's not one another's scorn w fear. It's our womenfolk. Well, you were a hen and the poor foo Ish rooster had surrendered to yo all bis gay feathers, along wit most of his other perquisites, wou you give 'em back to him? IRVIN 8. COBB. AMERICAN BOAR c J IS THRILLING AND DANGEROUS GAME There la no other animal in the United States that will accommodate ou as quickly with a fight as a wild oar. The boars found on Santa Cruz is- and off the California coast attain weight of 250 pounds, mostly mus- le. They have tusks, one on either ide of the lower jaw, which articu- ate in an upward and outward curve n two shorter, but heavier canines the upper jaw. This sharpens hem to knifellke edges. Large boafs will charge a man as oon as he appears within reasonabla istance. At this stage of the game he animal becomes totally indlffer- nt to the barking dog, lowers his ead, and begins champing his jaws ntll he actually froths at the mouth, hen he takes a few uncertain steps orward nnd with coughing, guttural runts rushes with surprising speed t the man foe. 1 have never allowed one to ad- ance beyond the "uncertain steps." 'he champing jaws, and the click of hose white dnggers Is thrill enough; fact, a bullet to the right .place t the first possible moment is the atural Impulse, and the sane action or the safety of both man and dog, specially the dog.—H. H. Sheldon Field and Stream. World Full of Happiness Not Beyond Us to Create The obstacles to a world full of applness are not Insuperable. The eal obstacles He in the heart of man, nd the cure for these Is a firm hope, nformed and fortified by thought.— iertrand Russell. Week's Supply of Postum Free Read the offer made by the Postum ompany in another part of this pa- er. They will send a full week's sup- ly of health giving Postum free to nyone who writes for it.—Adv. Rather Late It is not until middle age that man becomes Interested in his estlnatlon. CONSTIPATED 30 YEARS "For thirty yean I had chronio constipation. Sometimes I did not fa for {OUT or five days, I also had awful gas bloating, headaches and pain in the back. Adlerika helped right away. Now I eat sausage, bananas, pie, anything I want and lever felt better. I sleep soundly all night nd enjoy lite." — Mrs. Mabel Stthott. f you are suffering from constipation, leeplessness, sour stomach, and gas jloating, there is quick relief for you n Adlerika. Many report action in 0 minutes after taking just one dose. Adlerika gives complete action, clean- ng your bowel tract where ordinary axatives do not even reach. 3r. H. L. Shoub, New York, reports: 'In addition to intestinal cleansing, Adlerika checks the growth of in- •estinal bacteria and colon bacilli." Jive your stomach and bowels a real learning with Adlerika and see how rood you feel. Just one spoonful relieves GAS and chronic constipation. Sold by all druggists and drug departments. Failing* of Others If we had no fallings ourselves we hould not take so much pleasure in Indlng out those of others.—Roche- oucauld. A Three Days'Cough Is Your Danger Signal No matter how many medicines you have tried for your cough, chest cold or bronchial Irritation, you can get relief now with Creomulslon. Serious trouble may be brewing and you cannot afford to take a chance with anything less than Creomul- Blon, which goes right to the seat of the trouble to aid nature to soothe and heal the Inflamed membranes as tho germ-laden phlegm Is loosened and expelled. . S v ! n Jif , i °J? ie v rJ , remedies have railed, don't be discouraged, your druggist is authorized to guarantee Creomulsion and to refund your- money If you are not satisfied with results from the very first bottle. Get Creomulslon right now. (Adv.) Lei* to Change Don't have any more opinions than are necessary. Head COLDS ' Put Mentholatum ln\ f the nottrik to relieve \ ' irritation and promote clear breathing. MENTHOLATUM Gives COMFORT Daily H you prefer nose drops, or. throat *prar, call for the MEW MEHTHOUTUM LIQUID In handy bottle with dropper

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