SATURDAY, NOV. 11,1916. ft E" THE CONSTITUTION rncluJinpf tlio Chllucolhe C C h i l l i e o c l i . Tho i r ' i i """ I C h l , l " o o t h B C o n m i . u t i o r , , t h e iUII and Star and Democrat. O w n e d J A -M G S 1: . E n t e r e d at th M i s s o u r i , a n d W A T Iv I Postoftlc." a t C l i i l l i b c c o n d - c l u t b rnati r. TERMS OP S U B S C R I P T I O N " DAILY by Carrier in the C i t v or ChllUcothe, per year " So on Per \veelt j 0c . DAILY by Alail. Pof*tas"e paul In L i v i n g s t o n C o u n t v per y^-ar S:i.O!) DAILY by M a l l . Postage pj.nl o u t s i d e ot LtMng-ston C o u n t y . "WEEKLY, postasrc paid, por year Sl.oo C I R C U L A T I O N , AcletaileKl sworn s t a t p m o n t nf circulation w i l l be f u r n i s h e d at an v t i m i _ when requobt^d by an a d v e r t i s e r OFFICIAL XI5WSIÂ»APKIl OF" 1'HK CITY .OF CIH L L I C O T H K KANSAS waÂ» one of Uie surprises oÂ£ the election. Wilson carried th.? state fey 3 0 , 0 0 0 . All political prophets with Hughes leaning prophesied the usual heavy republican m a j o r i t y . Tfce democi-ats elected five of the eight members of congress. Vail Plow the Garden Missouri gardens are done for this year, and it has been a rather hard i j e a r f o r them, b u t whether your garden was as successful a venture a 3 ou hoped it would be or not, steps for accuring success for next year , can be taken now. | Plowing in the fall, that is, before | j f r e e z i n g , is one of those steps. The I reason; are many, so only a few can | be given here. | If your garden is a s o m e w h a i ,' heavy, clayey, loam, it will be made "quicker" by tall plowing, leaving the iurrow slices on edge, or as nearly so ?s possible. The exposed soil will crumble up through the w i n t e r due to alternate freezing and thawing. The roughened garden surface will catch and hold more of the winter rains- aud snows than would a smooth, beaten stir- face. Tho slices themselves will dry o u t , and when the season at which seeds can be planted does come i ' the furrows can be covered with the crumbled, dry soil, which is in excellent c o n d i t i o n for seed sowing aivl which will protect f r o m evaporation the water caught through thcs winter; a sort of insurance against dry summer Fall plowing will also help the farmer fight inserts Those that pass tho winter on the ground in crop remnants will be "buried so deeply that they cannot work to the surface, and those that burrow into the g r o u n d to etcnpo outside temperatures will be t u r n e d up to freeze and perish In short, fall-plow gardens.--.T S Gardner, Missouri College of Agriculture. When You Have Saved $50 the question arises, (i TIow shall I invest it?" There is no better "\vay than in a Certificate of Deposit in The Citizens National Bank of Chillicothe, "whose resources of $850,000.00 give yon assurance of absolute safety Our C e r t i f i c a t e s nf D e p o s i t n re i = s u o rl in MI m s of $ " 0 Â· L n d u p TV n r d s T h o v h e a r in t crest at the i ate n f '! c e n t and arc r o n m v a h l o at the end o f t w e l v e m o n t h s Tf y n n w a n t s e r u n L y f o r v o u r s.iv- 1 n K s a n d aIj'seneo of a l l expense or worry i n c i d e n t to inert!* ige 6 - b o n d s , stocks, etc , GCT A CEirriinc \TK OF nn POSIT i n t h i s s t r o n g b a n k T h o c c r t i lien i es a re r e a d i l v noc^o) ii b l e and n s c o l l a t e r a l seem U v ar u n e x c e l l e d Far those who hare savod Â«;om mo n ey a n d d t s i r c a resru 1 it r I n come, tree- f r o m t h e a n n o y a n c e mil Â·won y of o t h e r f o r m s of i n v e - n - m e n t , \ve su-ons-iv r e c o m m e n d on Co.rllficj.ti oÂ£ D e p o s i t THE CITIZENS NATIONAL BANK Member Federal Reserve Bank U. S. TtEPOSITARY 'JV/elvo Cire-t Sei-jaN in 1O*7. STILL the Wilson and HughÂ« Some of thoso aro story . group! ,, friends are taliug about the big e l e c - | l l k e Ulote i n i m i t able stories lÂ£ t n e I tion and the republicans are making oil(1 h o m e d o w n , n Ma[ne in , vhich | anxious inquiry on the d o u b t f u l states as if to get some zuorsel of encouragement tor t h e i r leader. B u t [ the news is tenacioris for Wilon and just won t cctue off or rub out. WOODROW "WILSON may choose either Saturday, March S, or Mondav, March 5, to be sworn into office again in the opinion ot the expert- of the congressional library to tho c ' ^ r k of the hou=e of representatives Rutherford B. Hayes was sworn Saturday, March 3, 1S77. and repeated the oath two days later. Zachary Taylor waited until March o, 1 S 4 9 to take the oath.--Xews.Press. DRY STATES 1'IL/E X'F. The prohibition wave continues to roll on with tremendous velocity. In a brief few years, state after state I has come over to the dry column Tuesday four more states--Michigan. Nebraska, Montana and South Dako- 0 i U ( j e s . ta were added to the list. St. Louis is still able to control Missouri for the brewers, because of its almost solid vote against it, but the C. A. Stephens shows himselt a master. Thero will be serials for girls oeri.i's f o r boys, serials that hold the rapt a t t e n t i o n of all readers ot either sex anl all ages. And the fiction is only a corner of The Companion It is brimful and r u n n i n g over with all m a n n e r of g"ood things. There's not a better $2 00 worth ot p p r ' o d ' ^ a l readme: anywhere. Send t o r Uie Forecast for 1917. which dis- rloÂ«os some of the delightful secrets of the new volume. N"ew subscribers for 1917 who send $2.00 now win receive all the issue" tor the remaining weeks ot 1916 tree; also The Companion Home Cal. endar for 1917. By special arrangement, new subscribers !or The Companion can have also McCall's Magazine for 1017, both publications for only] b o t h two . at -one-price offer in Optical Question --TO-MACDONALD FOR OVER 20 YEARS A KNOWN QUANTITY, in the successful correction of DE FECTIVE VISION and Eye Strain. Modern methods. Reliable S e r v i c e . Reasonable Price. A. B. MACDONALD next time the proposition is submitted it will be good-by John Barleycorn, in Missouri. Majority of 1952 For Davis. UnofflciaJ returns gives Judge B. Davis, republican, a majority 1952 over his opponent, John Leopard. The vote by counties, unofficial, is as follows: Livingston oounty--Davis 2 D 2 2 , Leopard 2088; Davis' majority S3-1. Caldwell county -- Davis 2 2 O S ; Leopard 1475; Davis' majority S2S- ard 2 2 0 4 ; Davis majority 2 0 5 . Davis county--Davis 2 4 9 9 ; Leopard 2 2 0 4 ; Davis's majority 2 D 5 . Livingston county, the home of Judge Davis, gave him the largest majority of the three counties comprising the Thirty-Sixth judicial cir- I . 1. The Youth's Companion--52 issues in 1917. 2. All remaining November and December issues of The Companion free. S. The Compaion Home Calendar for 1017, 4. McCalVs -Magazine -- 12 fash, ion numbers in 1917. 5. One 15-cent McCall Dress Pat_ tern--your choice from your first copy of McCall's--if you send a 2_ cent stamp with your selection THE YOUTH'S COMPANION, St. Paul, St., Boston, Mass. New Subscriptions Received at this office. Oi'inin o( Thanksgiving. In colonal days it was customary to appoint days ot fasting or feasting, of prayer or thanksgiving, when p u b l i c events seemed to variant this recognition. In 178:) i Washington ordered a day of thanksgiving for the adoption of the Feder- cuit. |jj c o n s t i t u t i o n . Subsequently v a r i o u s ! days in N o \ y m b e r were recommended Said By Kelly Pool. | | ly p r e o ideuts and governors until, in "Blind" Boone says that life is too 1S( ; 3? t!le legular observance ot short to sulk and please the devil a moment. Isn't that a fine sentiment to come from a man who has been blind since he was six months old The famous colored musician has -given more than 8 , 0 0 0 concerts traveled more than 2 0 0 , 0 0 0 miles and earned more than $ 2 0 0 . 0 0 0 . In all the years of his dark.life he has never sulked--alwav s c h e e r f u l , h o p e f u l Â«nd trustful. Here is n lesson for us folks who can see. When our little world is turned upside down and ail national Thanksgiving day w^s mst.- Luted through a proclamation of btirebT.at'eto mwi taotisivgnitalca. President Lincoln. The p r e s i d e n t ; proclamation does not make it a national holiday. It applies legally only to the District of C o l u m b i a an.-l the territories \ It ib the governor-, proclamations that affect the state?. When There's Sickness If there should be eickness in your home where would you have your prescriptions put up? Perhaps you've been so f o r t u n a t e in not having sickness that you're unable to answer such a question. We a r e quite sure you w o u I J appreciate the fine service at our store and our prescription department is a special feature. It is equipped with e v e r y t h i n g for the skilful m a n i p u l a t i o n of physi. cians' recipes and onlj' experienced prebcription d r u g g i s t s have anything to do with the compounding here. We w o u l d , like your business. Clark's Pharmacy THIS K1SXAI/L STORE CHHYL1COTIUE, MISSOURI .Don't Burn Your Leaves, Autumn leaves are a mobt valuable fertilizer and many who seek to ob_ tain high grade stable manure d.t top prices \ \ o u l d do well to preserve the leaves \ \ h i c h Uill Erom trees and shrubs in their yards,. M. F. Major, assistant professor in landscape gardening oi the department ot horti- c u l t u r e of the University ot -Missouri sajs. M i l l i o n s ' o t -bushels of tcrtil- izer which could be produced t r o m decajing leaves are annually wubtel 111 Mibboui i becaubo oi thoughtlessness Experiments have proven that the t e r t i l u e r produced is not only for t farm fertiliser but i'or la-wiib and gardens. At the Univensity the leaves are tin-own into p i l s , soaked down, and slightly mixed w i t h clav or rough soil. At the end ot a season. They have become decayed, [irmiug a composed heap al exccpe- tiom'.lly v a l u a b l e mold. This f e r t i l i z - er is not only a rich h u m u s and ni!- rogenous substance but is free i i o m weed seeds lolund in stable manures When r u u t h r o u g h a screen it furnishes a most rich material At the end ot each second year several tons of this leaf mold are readj tor use. Mixed with garden soil il is splendid I'or p o t t i n g house plants,] ferns and palms and u n e q u a l l e d as a ' dressing t o r lawns, rose gardens ami shrubbery borders. 1 Leaves may be piled in blirub bor- d c i s Avcightod d o \ \ u w i t h sticks o r soil instead of being placed in pitc. In t h i b way they will iorni a \viu! ei p r o t e c t i o n as a mulch and a f t e r decaying, a n a t u r a l 'fertilizer. Care s h o u l d be taken in p l a c i n g them n r o u n d young trees, diseased leaves! ^ l i r o u l d be s p i f y o d S p r a y i n g the I plants at tho r i g h t t i m e will pre-\ cut dieasc. Save y o u r juKinm leaves nncl ro_ t u r n Ihr-m to t h e land in the lorm or fertilizer. Notice to Bidders. Pealed bids w i l l be i c c e i v e d by thn u n d e r s i g n e d C i t y A u d i t o r a t t h e o f - fice of the City Clerk of the C i t y of r h i l l i c o l h e . Missouri, u n t i l 12 o'clock n o o n of the I R t h diy of N o v e m b e r 1!)16. i'or the g r a d i n g , c u r b i n g , paving and otherwise i m p r o v i n g Callioun street, in the c t y of C h i l l i f - o t h e , Miss o u r i , f r o m the enst side or l i n e of Sunset avenuo to the east siclo or l i n e ot G r r m d v i a w avonuo, in accordance with O r d i n a n c e N u m b e r 2 0 5 0 cf Hie O r d i n a n c e s of snirl c i t y and the I,laiis and s p e c i f i c a t i o n s t h e r e i n ref e r r e d to, w h i c h pUns and specifica- t i o n s - are now on file in tho office of the City Clerk. AH of said g r a d i n g , c u r b i n g , paving and otherwise i m p r o v i n g of said street, i n c l u d i n g all the cost of b r i n g i n g said street to the established grade, shall be paid to the contractor in special tax bills- issued a g a i n s t the property liable t h e r e f o r according to lav/, u n d e r the provis. | ions of the Ordinances of this c i t y , -nid Ordinance Number 2 0 5 0 . ! Passed and approved the 30th day of October, 1916. Each bidder shall submit with h i s , bid a c e r t i f i e d check for One Hun. ( dred ( $ 1 0 0 00) Dollars, payable to (he City of Chillicothe, to insure t h e m a k i n g of the contract as provided by O i d i n a n c e The right to reject any and all bids is reserved. JOHN W. WILLIAMS, 4-7t City .Auditor, The da is observed in all states b\it in some it is not a statutory holiday. Thursday was original..- A l Delected by the Puritans probably our plans go awry, we 'it down | bc( ,. nlrCj belng . near ths mlc id'e a: and cry like a child who has its tor lo woe ,._ u gaye o p p o r t u l l i t v l o r taken from it, or else we sulk like a spoiled child because it can't eat at the first table. Of course the devil is pleased when he can get a grown up mon or woman to sulk like a spoiled baby. And "Blind" Boon''; philosophy asserts that life is too short to sulk and please the devil for a moment Boone is right--we fesl it and know it. There is -but one true philosophy of living and that says keep the heart singing all the while you look, for the silver lining of the clouds. Better than "Blind" Boon's music--and it is good--is h's philosophy. "Life is too short to sulk and please the devil a moment."--Centralia Courier. Xf DOUBT ABOUT THIS 'Foley Cnthartic Tablets are just a plain., nonert. old-fashioned physic. They act promptly and effectively on the bowels wniout pain, griping or nauses_ The-- keep the stomach STTeet,' the liver active, ana the bowels regular. They banish biliousness sick headaches, sour stoma-ch, indigestion. Sold everywhere. Use the Constitution Want column if you have something to dispose of. It gets quiet results. the scattered members of the famii;. to come together and to return with out debcrating the Sabbath by trav el. November was selected as t'l month when the fall harvests were ] all gathered. Other countries have Thanksgiving days for special occasions, such as success in battle or the deliverance of the people trom a national calamity, but the fixed annual Thanksgiving day is a custom belonging to America atone. TOO THIS HURT OUT OV TTEB BACK Mrs. Anna Byrd, Tuscumbia, Ala, writes: "I was down with my back so I could not stand up more thas half the time. Foley Kidney Pills look all of the h u r t out. "Rheu matic pains, swollen ankles, backache, stiff joints and sleep disturbing bladder ailments indicate disordered kidneys and bladder trouble. Sold everywhere. Your friends can buy any thi'-g you can give them-- EXCEPT YOUR PHOTOGRAPH Watton Studio N. Side Sq., over Sipplc's,. For QUALITY, SERVICE send us your Kodak Work C h i l d r e n Cry FLETCHER'S A. W. CIES LH;E STOCK AUOTJOISTGISR Office Rooms 1Â».2O AVallbrimn Building TERMS REASONABLE ico Iloars: 9:On ;uiu. to 3:OO p.m. 1 Ohilbcothe, Mo. GET IXSTAVT ACTION Those who have used it in Chilli, c o l h o are astonished at the INSTANT action ot simple buckthorn bark, glycerine, etc., as mixed in Adler-i-ka Because it acts on BOTH lower and u p p e r bowel, ONE SPOONFUL Adler-i-ka relieves almost ANY CASE constipation, sour stomach or gas. It removes such s u r p r i s i n g toul matte; that a Eew doses o f t e n relieve or prf- vont a p p e n d i c i t i s . A s h o r t trr-atmen! ', chronic stomach troubl , Clark's Pharmacy. ' 'v ! ' --r ' e i i l s I n ' ' l i i o r i M ' dys- , n 'vt^ ikon*. ' l.'j !Â· Â· L Do in'-- R u n l e t s ( 25c i . T -!]'Â· on i h 1 l i v o r a n d I'll- t j r Â·-!]'Â· -U M a t h e w s ' o r c h a r d . 3 1 'L m i l n o r t h w e s t oC Chillicotlie H i n c l - 'icked. no rot, no w o r m - N o ' 1 ar ""c, No 2 at 4 f t c Â·"'V-gt C N v ithew~ T I U S AMI V I V E CT5.VTS! DON'T J1ISS THIS. Cut o u t t h s slip, enclose five cents to Foley Co., 2 8 3 5 Sheffield Ave., Chicago 111., writing y o u r n a m e and address [Clcarlv. Von will "receive in return la trial package containing Foley's (Honey and Tar Compound, for I coughs, colds and c r o u p ; Foley Kidney Pills, and Foley Cathartic Tab. lets Sold everywhere. Cheapest accident insurance--Dr Thomas Eclectic oil For burns scalds "ills a n d emergencies. All druggist sell it. 2 K C and 50c. LOST -- Advertisements in the Constitution Want column helps find your missing property. W. D. WANAMAKER EEAL ESTATE Loans, Exchanges Insurance of all Kinds. Anyone desiring to buy good dr upland wood, $4 00 per cord, phone 494 or 18Flo =.m.w. C h i l d r e n Cry FCR FLETCHER'S O A S T- o R ' .- Try a Constitution Want ad. Cry for Fletcher's The Kind You Dave Always Bought, and.xrtiich lias been in Â· uio for over SO years, lias borne the signature ot and has been made under Ms personal supervision since its infancy. Allow Jio one to deceive -you in this. All Counterfeits, Imitations and "..Oust-as-good " are but JExpermirTits that trifle "w'.tb and endang-er the health 'of lui'uuts and Children--Experience against Experiment* What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare* goric, Drops and gbothing Syraps. It is pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morpliine nor otJicr INarcotla substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys "Worms and .allays JTeverishness. For more than thirty, years it haÂ§ been in constant use for the.rcjiel of Constipation. Flatulency, "\Vind Colic, all Teething Troubles and Diarrhoea. It. regulates the Stomach, and Bowels, assimilates the Food, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea--The Brother's Friend. ' GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS Bears the Signature of Classified Want Ads .ITfJD CKMTS PBK I; M CBAKtrlT, FOH ~ " " Â· WANTED WANTED TO FEED FOR~WINTER --Plenty of grass, good wind-mill water and good-stalk pasture. Phone ?OF12 or see Jas, Barnes or Mrs. Blue. 26_tf WANTED--A girl for general house work. Apply to 'Mrs. W- W. Edgerton, cor. Locust and Polk Sts., or phone 303. 24-tf WANTED STRAW--Will pay~$4750 a ton, stack run, in car. Will receive it at Wheeling, Cream Ridge Sampsel, Lock Springs, Bedford Fountain Grove, Utica and Chillicothe^ Will also buy your hay. oldBwl T. S. Bishop. KNT In Use For Over 30 Years The Kind You Have Always Bought PREPAREDNESS THE QUESTION THAT IS AGITATING THE PUBLIC MIND IS, "TO-BE" OP, NOT TO BE." A\ T e know that the 1'arinurs must be prepared in order to raise a crop. \\ r e have been preparing them i'or the last 2S years and aro s t i l l at the old si and waiting i'or more. OUR PI11CRS. Q U A L I T Y OF GOODS and COURTESY 0V TRKATilEXT SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES. "GAS1F" is our slogan. AYe talk it and believe in it. The men-haul that selib on time to Tom, Dick and H a r r y is compelled lo add to Hie price in order to take_ care ol the losses. Our Lines of SEEDS, BUGGIES and FARM MACHINERY ARE THE BEST THE MARKET CAN PRODUCE and OUR PRICES--WELL COME IN AND SEE. .G.I.COMPANY FOR KENT--Furnished room, strict. ly modem, 615 Vine. C FOR. RENT--6 ruom house] partly modern, at 333-Mansur St. Call at 122 Vine St. or phone 894.W. 6-6 FOR RENT--133 acre Jarm, uplanC located 7 1-2 miles south of Chil- licotho, on the Air Line road. Good improvements. See or write J. R. Edwards, Dawn, Mo. - 7-6* FOR RENT--Store room with fuM sized basement at corner of Elm and Webster, fine location for grocer. ies or feed. Chas. H. Grace. FOR RENT--7 room residence, 3 lots and barn on north side of Jackson street and west of Dickenson St. 30-tf J. E. Wattins. FOR RENT -- 8 room, modern house. Bath; full basement, furnace, _ paved street, 8 lots, garage. Rent by year. Address Marlow Bros., Chula, Mo. 25_tf FOR RENT -- Storage space. Blender son Son. 10-tf LOTS FOR SALE -- Paving in; apply to Mrs. G. W. Dennis_ Phone 915. FOR SALE -- A good carriage witn tongue and shaft, cheap. Phone 915. 10-6* 'OR SALE -- Overland Touring~car"; good a^ new, only 4 months old. Phone 21. 2_tf i FOR SALE -- Brass bed, mattress "anil ] springs, a a bargain. J515 Vine St. 'Phone 500. 7-6 Public Sale! I w i l l sell at P u b l i c A i H - l i o n al C'lovur Hale farm one and one- l u i U ' m i l e s n o r t h and 7 mile-- west oL' C h i l l i e o t h u . arid onc- nnd lliiX'L'-l'oiu'lli inilt-'Siiorth of Sampsel, ilo. Wednesday, Nov. 15 L- OR SALE--Four room cottage on paved street, electric lights, city water in yard. $1200. Gill Ryan. '_ 4-6 FOR SALE--My residence property, consisting of a ten_room modem house, good barn and chicken house and plot ot ground 195 by 290 ft., oa West Polk St., near First Ward school house. Phone No. 915_ Mrs. C. W. Dennis. 10-6* FOH~STLE~OR RENT--5 room bungalow, new, cheap if taken at once. Inquire 433 E. Jackson, ot telephone 732. 28-tf \ L E OR RENT--Modern su burban property, 10 room houst with 5 acres of ground. For particu lars phone 1454-J. 10-tf FOR SALE--2 houses and lots, five blocks from square. Call at. this office for further information. 3-tf FOR SALE--Encyclopedia Brittaniea, 25 volumes, fmo binding, good as new, ? 2 0 ; 1 set McCauley's Histor." of England, 5 volumes, $3; 1 vacuum sweeper, Argyle, "almost new, $5; 1 green velvet Davenport-bed, $ 2 0 ; 1 leather covered office or library chair. TelepJione 246. T i i h ' E l O -.- s " ado oj on I'UL'X ~ ow~ Day ~ f ' n : ,1 .L- --- 13 "'Â· Â· ^ 13S -- 25 on O o.-i. -"-' ( ;f - ' ''' a ''U a ' u l a. t o Â· ' ' I Â· '" f nin 1. '.( voii i Â· I " ' - I - ' - - ' '-oniii- h u l l s . .vo V i V , B K . 5 U L ) PULVATEL .' of Sale. Sale at 1 O'slosk Sharp t. Olive Ohurcli rill Isrve Lu-o 1 - . il nSTNTCK, Clerk H. B. HOGAN WILL BE IN CHILLICOTHS ALL THIS WEEK. NEXT WEEK AND EVERY WEEK IN THE YEAR TO TAKE YOUR MEASURE TOR A TAILOR-MADE SUIT. Not an ordered suit, made in a factory the same as ready-made, and called Tailor-made, but a Tailor- Made' One that is made in Chillicothe. Fit, cloth and everything about it guaranteed to give satisfaction. It will cost you no more to have your suit made in Chillicothe than it will to send to some Chicago house and get a factory-made suit. SEE H. B. HOGAN AND GET HIS PRICES. Iron and Steel Work I am now prepared to do ali kinds of IRON and STEEL WORK--such as Steel Stir- ways, Fire Escapes, Side Walk Grates. Truss "Rods Steel Road Brass, double single or tripple. Boiler, En s^ine. Machine "Woi-k L. D. ASHER General Blaclrsmithing and Repair Estimates Cheerfully Given 411 South Locust Street Mr. F. F. Cooper, representing the Troy Laundry Ia- 1 chinery Co., of Chicago, while in town last week visiting the S I, I F TC R JO A r X D K V Â· said, "This is the most up_to-, date Laundry, doing the most nearly perfect work that, : I Â· have seen in many days." -* ' Mr. Cooper was in the Â· laundry business himself in Chicago for a number of years.--Adv M. W. LITTON EXCLUSIVE FUXEUA.I, MVERY ; Special Call made for Parties anJ Balls. Phone 348. Children Cry FOR FLETCHER'S NEWSPAPER!
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