The Hutchinson News from Hutchinson, Kansas on July 7, 1923 · Page 19
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The Hutchinson News from Hutchinson, Kansas · Page 19

Hutchinson, Kansas
Issue Date:
Saturday, July 7, 1923
Page 19
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11 MZ4 <r* « Ring TeHs How; Winners Quit Winners He's Never Among Them, A* All-Wfce Providence Never Bestows Luck on Brains or Beauty. BY RING W. LARDNER t Rorabaugh-Wiley Ad and Window Display Win In National Contest Manhattan Ad in The News and Manhattan Shirt window by local store were awarded 7tlt prize by Manhattan Shirt Co. Ilo.low am.reproduced the lulvorliHcmcmt and ti picture ot tho window which were cnnp|dori-d l-y th,.. Jm !|t <*s H.I <lc c ( , ivlng vt rpcclal honor- Mr. I,. Paul ftathfon IVR,I notified that thin dlnplay «dvfrtlA «nient was aideated from "eveiRl thousand thnt wine entered and Mr. Uathfon waa irlvon M ".nn, which was the atrv .nth prlr.c In tlila content. \ Mr. Arthur ('. I'linnliiKhnm, window decorator, was likewise awarded $10.00 as fleventh prize, tn the window dl^ilny contest. This prize contest, hv the Manhattan Shirt <'o., wan na Ui-.n •• *vid.- iin.l or--n to all lar^e elty and email town .•.:.»! en. SlnleK were no! ;'u-.l ,ta to size and the Htirahaimh • Wilev orKain/at ton IN to lie eonr,-. .l ,i :aleii CMa-cia :] V In-eauae of thi* faet that It eompet.'d with hundred* ol la;i;- - il> il.'i'S With unlimited reaour< e.j to devote to the piepaiallon of iutv"lM-!Mt ami window display. o t'ho Bdttor: One oC tho tougl.ost problems facert ty tho peoplo that indulges In BO ctill- itl games of clianco like oralis, poker, irltlga whist, cliemln do fer and kln- Iretl Ilka Is the problem ot how to quit vlien winner ami still give tlic,losera llio Impression that you wlajietl to ill you did ,not hall to quit Pornonly I atn't hardly over been | lotherod by tills problem but have een it faced numerable times 'by 'tirtioa that 1 B bloat with horao shoes hlch the undorslgnetl certainly la .ot owing to a all wist) providence ,*.tlem of giving ono person luck, uother beauty, another ibraina and to. And tho mothoda employed by lie lucky one to try and create the boro named lmpreaslon la wi crude |luu they would seem funny If thoy did ot occur at a time when thoy didn't |item funny. Like for Inst, I was amongst the ouvy sugar moil In a BO called frlotiu- Klttd Kamo 2 or 3 weeks ago and one the utHer hoyn was tUso way bohlnd :itl I was BottltiK almost opp- him and never seen nobody ao wide awako nil finely ho win 5 pots in succession nil was more winner than ho had eon looser and all of a Buddon he was used with a attack of. sleeping sick- though It could not of heen more inn 4 o'clock and when he yawned, km could of throwod a basket ball |i»vn his throat and they had to dash ui water in bla face when, it was his |irn to deal. S.) ho had to cash in and go to bed hid tho only wonder was that he |)uld rniiko euch a accurate count ot s checks while practically uncon- ilous. A.bout a 1-2 hour later anther memtwr of the winning team. ;iu to groan with indigestion and hen we ast 'him did he want to quit would say no'but ho said it in tones lite the death whinnies of a poisoned jvocl and tho game finely broke up in wave <.if sympathy. Making the Mrs. Provide the Alibi. Another time honored method that n't qultfl no crude Is prepared for in It could not of been more than 4 o'clock and when he yawned you could of throwed a basket ball down his throat, a good many wiles won't stay home and if thoy do stay home they Bcem to have a kind of a prejudice vs. getting up to telephone between 3 and 'I In I lie A. M. .So much for tho'crudo methods in , gen. usages and how I am going to vanco. This is to have the Mrs. stay | toll you about a friend of mine thai has originated some melhods of his own and BO far they ain't 'boon nobody suspected him. This Is a man named iOlva Waffle and duriiiK day times he is a tree tickler by trade hut makes Ills heavy dough night:; at the gaming board. Well lllva lives in a suburb which Is ri^ht near a other fmburbs and each of tho tl suburbs has got a Icu*<i one Tire hi.use -.;o thoy ain't hardly a i-~ hr. parses day or night whon you can't hear a fire whistle blowing. there next innings I will have a fit and froth at tho mouth and the crowd will go into a panic and swarm down on the field nnd the umpires will have to tforfoit the game to Chicago. Well Blva always 'has a tnbo of shaving cream in his pocket and when he sees It is time for him to quit ho secretly takes a awig out. of tho tube and the Tioxt minute ho begins frothing at tho mouth and making funny noises-and as a rule tho (fame breaks up insliuitiim as very few people even loosers cares to play in a game with a man that la conducivo to fits. Another one of Elva'n tricks is to go to a poker party with a bag ot chocolate creams which he has warmed up over a g'as -lot 'before leaving home. When he feels like lie has •So 141 va bought himself a badge that!""" 1 enough for one evening he pulls If Elva Is a big winner he shoves his ecks at the banker, says he has got go to the fire and dashes out of the use. says on it tile rCvor Heady fire dept and he aUvaya wears this liail^e •where you can't help 1'roni so .aiii.^ it. Well wo will say one of tn .-i lire whittles blows and if Klva is a big winner ho shoves his chocks at the banker, says he has got to go to the fire ami dustios out of "the house willy mily. If Ire is a looser when the siren pounds and ono of the oihei- ftuests j asks him why he don't go lo the lire, | he says you poor Kap don't you know ! tho difference between the lCvcr i Ready whistle .and the Qui Vive 1 whistle? I Elva's Stock of Ingenuities. : • 1 Hut Klva ain't a sucker enough to mo and call you' up every so often . always pull the same stul'f in the same tl sooner or later one of tier calls | joint, lie has got another scheme libel to coincide with the time you ; which-' is said to ot been'thought up a ready to quit and then you B<>. by lid Reulbach when the last named ck to the table and fell the rost of j was pitching for the Cubs. ) boys that you got to got home j Ed was losing a game vs. Brooklyn hi away as the baby lias swallowed ; and between Innings ho says to Mgr. -uu sheet music. i Chance t tell you what 1 will do. 1 the trouble with this system Is that' will eat some sonp and whoa 1 get out out the bag of chocolates and passes them around but they won't nohody take one as they . look terrible. So Elva oats them himself and gets his bands all smeared up and it ain't long before they ain't a deck of cards loft in the house that decant people would play with. Those is only 3 of ldva'-a little stock of Ingenuities and he 'has ast uie to not reveal no more ot them hul makeV ntrople do their own thinking and planning like ho dono and I will say for Klva that he has been successful with his schemes that he plans to aeon give up card playing, entirely and devote all his time to tree tickling which acts on him Hko a drug. Great Nock, I/ong Island, ,luly G. Copyright 1923, by tho iBell (Syndicate Inc. B.ThriftySxys "The pocket book and the bank book it a hard team to beat when they play together," You CAN aave if yoa PLAN to save. This bank wants to HELP you save, . Start TODAY, f FIRST NATIONAL BANK Established 1876 * . HUTCHINSON, KAN8A8. Above Is a reprodudction of the window display by Mr. Arthur C. Cunningham which won Seventh Prize In the Manhattan Shirt Contest. This photograph waji taken May 28th. Manhattan Shirts Are so good looking you hate to cover one up with a coat Now that men are beginning to shed their coats they are paying more attention to their shirts—and so they are asking for MANHATTANS. * Manhattan Shirts come in patterns and colorings having a distinction and richness of tone that never becomes monotonous. Manhattan Shirts are made of fabrics which assure excellent . service, Manhattan Shirts are cut to full standard sizes and are beautifully tailored, which assures excellent fit. Manhattan Shirts are moderate in price and arc guaranteed by the manufacturer and by Rorabaugh-Wiley. There are- two classes of men— Those who wear shirts— and (hose who wear Manhatlann Men's Shop—First Floor. Rdrabaagh-Wley's Neckband Styles A Manhattan of corded madras in printed check and stripe patterns is a dandy for everyday wear. v The price, $2.75 A woven stripo madras of very good quality comes in a jAiod Selection of neat stripe patterns. The price, $3.50 A woven stripe, corded madras of fine quality comes in exclusive broken stripe and check patterns." The price, $4.00 A satin stripe madras comes in particularly good looking; tan, blue, green auU black stripe patterns. The price, $4.50 Finest quality imported madras in exclusive patterns, is used to make up some beautiful Manhattans. The price, $*1 .0Q Manhattans made of a fine silk and linen fabric come in some of the cleverest patterns we have ever shown. The price, $7.50 White Manhattans ain white corded madras. Priced at $2.50 Plain while new cord. Priced at $3.50 Plain white Pique cloth. Priced at $4.30 Collar Attached A fine quality of white oxford cloth made with button down or open collar. The price, $3.00 Silkified oxford cloth in imported patterns conies with the open collar. The price, $4.50 SHy SMh he adTertl " m ™ t Inured hy M r. HUbfon which won Bevsmh irttc. in the National Central. It apnearM originally In Tl,« Hut, hin»„., N «w. ot f IIIIIIIMIW^

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