The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on December 21, 1898 · Page 7
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 7

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, December 21, 1898
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Page 7
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•••^^^^^^^•^^•^^^^^^^^^^^f Does Your lead Ache ? Ar*. jrduf fiefveg wsik? n't^u sleep well? p an i lift ?dur back? Lack energy? lAipetlte poof? Digestion Ibid? Boils ot pimples? 1 These are sure signs of ; poisoning. * From what polsbns. " . Prom poisons that are ail, Ways found in, constipated |; : b6wels, w •-•;» the contents of the bowels are not removed from I; the body each day, as nature intended, these poisonous substances are sure to be absorbed Into the blood, al- %ays causing suffering and .frequently causing severe disease. .There is a common sense [cure. THE ALGOKA 1OWA V They dally insure an easy and natural movement of the bowels. " ~" You will find thatthe use of & rsaparffla with the pills will hasten recovery.' It cleanses, the blood from all impurities and is a great tonic to the nerves. WrHa the Doalop. OUT Medical Department has one of the roost eminent phyilclana In the United States. Tell the doctor lust how you are suffering. You will receive the beat medical udvlce withouteoit. Address, DR. J. 0. AYER, Lowell, Man. SfURYBTTfeS. tThe colder the night the quieter the an inc. |:A man never "paints" the town in yater colors. Jit isn't necessary for a man to be an [rtist in order to draw attention. K Mrs. Wlnslow's Soothing Syrup. 'or children toothing, aoftons tho gums, reduces In* iimatlon, allaya pain, curea wind colic. 330 a bottlo. man who starts out to meet rouble never has to go half way. Imno's Family Medicine. IjMoves the bowels each day. In order B be healthy this is necessary. Acts Sntly on the liver and kidneys. Cures Sek headache. Price 25 and 50c. lodest girls are God's greatest flow- i in earth's conservatory. f Coo's Cough Balaam She oldest and best. It will break up a cold quicker 8 i anything else. It Is always reliable. Try It. w .j life's banquet the scum is often fotaken for the cream. ..Diamond "C" Soap is made by tho Udahy Packing Co. of South Cmaha. old by grocers everywhere. ft is estimated that during the pre- jt century 30,000,000 men have lost Sir lives in war. ie Sheffield Milling Co., Faribault, •nn enjoys an enviable reputation, ffeir GOLD MINE brand of FLOUR j no equal. Try it and be convinced.- I grocers or flour dealers. . gossip always thinks she was cut ;. for a, journalist. Thero is only one genuine Diamond Soap. See that the name is on wrapper. , 111 the women of Hawaai are ejpert pestrians, and they all ride astride. HEAR the winds that sweep the moor, I know the waves are high, And far above the stormy coast doth bend an inky sky; I'm waiting still to greet my boy who promised he would come I've longed and waited many years, I've watched tho speechless sea, But somewhere in the distance sails the Seagull far from me; Each Christmastida I set his chair before the chestnut fire, And wait for footsteps at the door to bring me my desire. The rose has faded on the mead, and winter crowns the wold, And In the village Christmas bells ring out the story old, But dear to all the world, how in the soft and scented hay, In Judah's land beloved by all, tha gentle Christ-child lay. I stir the fire and wait for Joe, for , something' unexpressed Tells me that I shall feel again the hand BO often blessed, That from the tropics far away, or from the lands of snow The missing ship will bring the boy •who left me long ago. The gulls are screaming where the waves in fury lash the shore, And Christmas finds me all alone with sorrow at my door, Yet in my heart there blooms a flow'r both delicate and fair— The rope of Hope which angel hands have sweetly planted there. One day, when Sir Walter and Lady Scott were roaming about Ihelr estate, they saw some playful latnbs in a meadow. "AntV said Sit- Walter, "'tis no tvonder that poets frott the earliest flffes have tnnde the lamb the emblem of peace and innocencei" "They are indeed delightful aniidals," said Lady Scott, "particularly with mint sauce!" The vicar of Skegby, England, was conducting ft marriape where the bride was a repulat attendant at Sunday school. When she Was asked: "Wilt. thou have this matt to be thy Wedded husband?" she replied: "Yes, verily, by God's helti. so 1 will, and Ihenrtlly thank our Heavenly Father, who hath brought me into the state of salvation." OtJB BUDGET OF JUS, SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL AND SELECTED- A Vfttlet* 6* «fohe» Original and Selected—Flotsam and Jetsam from the Tide of Ha tad*— Witty 8«ylnK». * ONE GOOD DEALER WANTED In every town . where not represented, OXAUl* PURE MIXED PAINTS Finest and most durable, Colors nlways uniform and guaranteed. ENTERPRISE PAINT MFG. CO., Makers, Chicago- Was that the storm king at my door? Or did I hear a band? Who conies to wish me well today o'er snowy sea and land? This Christmas I would wait alone within my little home For Joe, who told me with a kiss that some day he would come. It was a knock, 1 ope the door. What stranger guest is this? Unlike the tall and gallant youth whose cherished voice I miss. What! back at last? it cannot be, yet 'tis his smile, I know, And Christmas brings my darling home despite the swirling snow. Aye, thro" the tempest and the sea he comes tp .keep his word, And now I know that far above the widow's prayer was heard; There steals Into my little room a light like that which fell Upon the plains of Bethlehem when •watched the shepherds well. I place him at the table and I look Into his face, The while the village hells ring out their hymns of peace and grace; And Joe gives back the same old smile BO full of love and Joy, The smile that made me happy when he was a little boy. I read of Christmastides within the palaces of old, Where kings and princes merry make beneath a cloth of gold; But I would rather sit today within our little home, And bless the God who brought me Joe across the crested foam. —T. C. Harbaugh. joy and Expense. "Uncle Theodore, what Is the Christmas spirit?" "It is that genial joy you feel when you discover that you have money enough to go round." One morning Emperor William, who lias a great penchant for building churches, was riding in his carriage on Uhter den Linden, when and old gentleman espied him from a distance, ami immediately bared his head, which was as bald as a billiard-ball. Suddonly the old gentleman feltsome- bocly touching his shoulder, itnd heard a voice behind him saying: "Say, ol« man, you had better cover you ^heatl, for wherever the emperor notices a bald spot he'll surely build n church." Mark Twain, in his account of the German language, tells how "the in- telligen^t German plunges into a sea of vcrbiag-e and comes up on tho other side, like a doer, with his verb in his mouth." The same idea is illustrated in a story, told in tho Century, of a lady who once listened, through an interpreter, to a speech, made by Bismarck. All went well for a time, as the low voice of the pains-taking translator rendered with some adequacy tho thought of Bismarck. Then there were short pauses, followed by rapid little summaries of what had been said". As these grew more and more frequent, the lady became irritated. Finally there was an entire cassation on the part of the interpreter, and yet Bismarck was going right on with ever-increasing vehemence. There were constant calls from the lady of "What's he saying? Wliat's he saying?" and an increase of impatience proportionate to the growing violence of the speaker. Finally the wretched interpreter could stand the strain no longer, and, turning with a gesture of fierce resentmunt to his excited employer, he hissed: "Madam, I am waiting-for the verb'." Can You Solve This Puzzle Verio? ••A simple go-between am-I, Without a thought of pride; I part the gathered thoughts or men, And liberally divide. 1 set the soul of Shakespeare free, To Milton's thoughts give liberty, lild Sidney speak with freer speech, Let Spenser sing and Taylor preach. ThouEh through all learning swift I glide, No wisdom doth with me abide." If you can solve the foregoing, and send the correct answer to George H. Hea''ord, General Passenger Agent, Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway, Old Colony Building, Chicago, together with a two-cent stamp, he will send you what it calls for._ Riches sometimes fly away from the honest man and light on the perch erected by the other fellow. A. B. Stlckney, president of the Chicago Great Western Railway, has received the following cable from London: "London, December 7, 1898. A. B. Stlckney: Reported here that Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe and Rock Island & Pacific have given notice of boycott against Chicago Great Western Railway. Is It true, and what will it amount to?" Tho following is A. B. Stickney's answer: "Their last boycott increased the west-bound business of the Chicago Great Western Railway to Kansas City from loss than four to more than ten per cent. Too early to say how profitable the present boycott will be." _ About the time an elevator 1 ov gets a little way up in the world seme one is sure to call him down. VERY LO.W RATES. Vl» the Missouri, Kansas and Texas Hallway. Semi-monthly excursions to the Southwest. The greatest opportunity to visit Texas, the empire state of the union unparalleled as to resources and products ana with an area exceeding all the Eastern and Middle states. The statistical reports of products as compiled by the commissioners of .Texas indicate this section as having the greatest possible advantages in its mild and equable climate and in the variety and productiveness of its soil. For further information, descriptive pamphlet and dates of excursions, apply to T. B. Cookerly, D. P. A., Des Moines. Iowa. Zola. you come across the oceaftt Mister Zola, kindly say Wiat you haven't any notion That you'll give us all away. For we're quite disposed to mention, Mister Zola, sir, that we Do not like the strong attentl6n Which we might expect from the*. We're averse to feeing treated, Mister Zola, on the plan That our morals are all fetid In the social garbage can. While we know you are a wonder, Mister Zola, nnd a wit, If you soil us. well, by thunder) We shan't like It. sir, a bfc! —Cleveland Plalndoaler. "1 trader *ri»y fillups drinks sd touch?" "I've had an Idea that he does it to get the taste of his eonversAtion out of his mouth/ „___ Neversweat Nicodemus—Are you .a single man, Tolliver? Tattered Tolliver—Say, ef I wus double I'd be in a dime museum. Waiting. The Colonel—"Say, what have you got against our .congressman, anyway? I know he doesn't'belong to your party, but really he doesn't deserve all tho harsh things you say of him In your paper. I wonder If there will ever come a time, when you will be pleased to come out and say that he has done the right thing—when you will have a word of praise for him?" Editor of the Weekly Hidebound— "Oh, yes, I've got an article In type now, in which I praise him very highly; in which I say that he never did a dishonest thing in his life and ought to be numbered among our greatest men. He'll die some day and then I'll print it." Not Down to the Bottom. "You boast of your greater civilization!" exclaimed the Indian contemptuously. "Haven't we a right to?" "No, sir. The Indian has been dragged down by your influence, but he is still superior. He may drink Intoxicating liquor. But he doesn't smash the bottles on the ashphalt for bicycles to run over." World'i Supply of An English expert claims, that the wheat frdducing soil of tli6 tvdrld is nneqhal to the strain that will bS put upon it, Evefl now when the food supply is ample, thousands die because their disordered stomachs fail to digest the food they take, Hosteller's Stomach Bitters strengthen and tone tip the stomach and digestive organs. Speaking of fireworks, Da*id w,as the original giant cracker. Mud has a ten'dency to make the average laortfti melancholy. A woman loves her dog all the more when another dog whips it; n man will get rid of his. _' Save the wrappers around Diamond "C" Soap. They are worth money. . To make 1,000 watch movements by hand would cost $90,832; by machinery they are produced at an expense of 81.70U. _______ _ WAKTED-Cnse of bad lionlth thnt IMP/ \-N-8 will not, lictient. Send r< cento to Itlnnns Chctnlcnl Co., Now York, for 10 samples <in|l 1,000 testimonials, Isn't it strange how people can treat you coldly when they get hot at you? Dropsy treated free by Dr. H. H. Green's BOIIB, of Atlnntn, Gu. The greatest dropsy RpecinllstB in the world. Reiul thoir advertisement in another column of this paper. You may laugh und grow fat yourself, but you must use corn for your hogs. TO C«ni5 A COliI> IN ONE DAT Tivlto Laxative Uromo Qutnlno Tablets. All ilniRKlsts refund Urn money If Jt falls to euro. Sic. Tho pi" tilt" 1 1'n.i T, >< o. on nach tablet. The mnii who is dissatisfied with his work is never happy. There is more Catarrh iti this section of the country tlia-i nil other diseases put together, and until tho last few years was supposed to bo incurable. For a grout many years doctors pronounced it a local disease and proscribed local remedies und by constantly failtiiK to cure with local trout- men t,, pronounced it incurable.. Science has proven Catarrh to bo n constitutional dis- OUBO und therefore requires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. .1. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio, is tho only constitutional cure on the market. It is tnkon internally in doses from lOdropstoutoiispoonfnl. It acts directly on tho blood und mucous surf noes of tho system. They offer ono hundred dollurs for uny case it fa'ils to cure. Send for circulars and testimonials. Address, . I- 1 . J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, Ohio. Sold by Druggists, 7fic. Hull's Family Pills are tho heat. The sun's rays in winter are highly appreciated. _ ___ ' There's only one soap in tne world for me, That's the soap they call the Diamond "C." "Whftt ftre you tftfrkfog on asked of a rttfttt Who Is ftttfftyft ting tml »e»er indents. Nothing very big Just at pfejtefjt, I'm about edmdieting ft inethott for eAlculfttiritf compotma interest vWB ft rubber stamp." ' A cftlatdtiie of 300 prizes suitable to every tAste ftnd condition mailed »tt intinlf?, Prizes given for sftvitttf &'»* inond "C" Soap wrfcpperft, Address Cttdfthy SOftp Works, South Omthfy Nebraska. ^ A thief may take a thing easy, bttt he always takes it hard whett he » caught. _^^_ , We will forfeit $1,000 If any of onr t>t»b< lished testimonials are proven to be not genuine. TaBPisoOo.i Warren, Pa^ The expense of running an Atlantic* steamer for three years exceeds the cost of its construction. ___^, 4 > "A Perfect type of the Highest Ofdefof Excellence in Manufacture," Breakfast Absolutely Pure, Delicious, Nutritious. .Costs less TtianOHE CENT a Cup.. Dp sure that you get the Genuine Article, made at DORCHEStER, MASS, by \ WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd, ESTABLISHED 171)0. No Gontletnnn. It is always easy tor cry. a hypocrite to "They say that music stimulates the growth of the hair." "That's queer; whenever I slng.Har- ry grabs a whole lot of his hair out." atural Black is Produced by y ckingli a m 'sOyj ,',•::, |ts. of druggMs or R. P.Hall&Co..NMhu»,N.H. _ NEW DISCOVERY; ?i«j f and cures worst , PATENTS, CLAIMS. ^ CURE YQURIElh . Use IUg« for unnatural Meteorological Condition* Tried to Mitlco It. Up. "Waiter," said the bicyclist at the little country inn, "bring mo three eggs and boil them four minutes." Fifteen minutes elapse, and tho waiter returns with one egg. "Very sorry, sir, our eggs is out. This Is the only one we had left—but we boiled it twelve minutes, sir."— Harper's Bazar. CHKAVKHT DAILY IN THIS WOULD. •J'lio Dos Mr.lnoK DA11A' NtSWH is thu only dollar dully In tho wurlil. Its subscription prloo Is »1 n yeiiv. Td cents for six: mouths, 40 oontb for throo months, 25 cants a month. The dollar ruto has boon In furco over three yours, und Is no experiment, uudll Ims inorvuKod thoulranliii'.o i of iho NEWS to!!!l.40U. fur tho lamest of any lowtt dully. Tho DAILY NMWH Is u memlii'rof the Associated 1'ress. mid ulvcs it dully tclwrupMo mu k >t report, nud all tlionows oflowu u n 1t hu world, comluiiBod forbmy people. Its Hulnrdiiy Issuo contains attractive IIUKOB for women und uhlldren, und vulnublo literary manor. Tlio Saturday Issno Is ivlono worth tbo price oft ho paper. He up with the Union, road it dully paper and keep poslod. Address. TU15 NKWB, Des Mollies, Iowa. After marriage a girl becomes too economical to cry on her husband's coat collar. $fs.OO PER WEEK. We will pay a salary of $15 per week for man with rig to introduce Perfection Poultry Mixture In the country the greatest egg producer on earth Addfess with stamp. Perfection Mfg Co.. Parsons, Kansas. Ilope for the future is a tacit admis sion of evil in the present. Dr. Soth Arnold's Cough Killer In an excellent remedy fi.r children. Mru. Wm.M. Frogue, Columbus, Kim. 25c. u bottle. The fireplace is the nicest corner now at nights. Diploma and lirarded Chl««go Sole Co. for b».t Stock ud Hi; Bcalti at OmtbnKipo. iltton. Official Beslei Stock FiiTlllim, World'! K.lr, Chlcuo, 180*. Hrqnlre us pit. BUetVramm, Iron for Btotk BM!«| H«ktlnl "«cki. 8e«l«« for all pnrpoui. Hnt JOIll ITItill91 Qnilltjr. Lowell Prlc.i. Warranted. AUutt Wholesale PrleMi S«wln» Haehliei, Bafei, lllcjelei, llUck.mllb.' Tool.,Feed Btlli,Corn Sb«lleri.Bngliiei,Bollenl, Plow.,Seratien, Wire rente,Slorei,Baddlei,Harne»,Ba|r(tei ( 8lel»h« and tmndredi ofn.cful artlelei. Catalog free. Addma iUlCiei) BCiLK CO., B90 Jatkion Boulttard, Chleno, HI. Wheat Wheat Wheaf "Nothing but -whent as far as the eye could reach on either side: what you might call a sea of wheat," was what a lecturer speaking of Western Canada said while referring to that country. For particulars as to routes, railway fares, etc., apply to CANADIAN GOVERNMENT AGENT, Department Interior, Ottawa, Canada,or to N. Bartholomew, «00 Fifth Street, Des Moinos, Iowa. .' STRANGE BUT TRUE You onn get a Gold AVatch worth 115.00, warranted for live yeurs, (Ladles'orOentv) for 25 cts. For partlculari) address with stamp HOLBROOK & McNAMARA, BRIDGEPORT, CONN. $20 A WEEK, steady emp'ioyment, solltne Peerless Flavoring Powders. Goods guaranteed. 10W* SDfPlT OQ.,Har»luJUoWB.I>. DR, KAY'S LUNG W. N. L). Des Moines. Mo 52.—1898. When Answering Advertisements Kindly Mention This Taper. _ It is easier to tell a fool by his laugh than any other way. _ Go South ThlH Winter. For tie present winter season tlib Louisville & Nashville Kailroad Company has improved its already nearly perfect through service of Pullman Vestibuled Sleeping Cars and elegant day coaches from Cincinnati, Louisville, St. Louis and Chicago, to Mobile, New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, Thomasville, Ga., Pensacola, Jacksonville, Tampa, Palm Bcacn and other points in Florida. Perfect connection will be made with steamer lines for Cuba, Porto IJico, Nassau and West Indian ports. Tourist and Home- Seekers' excvirsion tickets on sale at low rates. Write C. P. Atmore, General Passenger Agent, Louisville, Ky., fqr particulars. _ A man should associate with his or live alone. Never Swore. "Witness," wild the cross-examining lawyer, "are you willing to swear that the- prisoner was smoking a pipe at the time?" "No, sir," replied the witness, "I never swear. But I am willing to bet you £5 to a shilling that he was."— London Punch. p'EWEY'S PROJECTILES So do the pains of N EU R ALGI A* So docs ST. JACOBS OIL. _^__ Pain surrenders —subdued, knocked out, and captured Same Thine. "I understand that she had an uncle who committed suicide." "Well, yes, you might call It that. He stole a horse out in Arizona." A Question of 8, "A FAIR FACE MAY PROVE A FOUL BARGAIN." MARRY A PLAIN GIRL IF SHE USES SAPOLIO "What is a green Christmas, M "A g green Christmas? Wl»y, H time Uen a |ty ««»• »ta« * and only P»e bos of c PI50' C "Ever try tfectrlejty for yow J«e b? " " b< " l in* [Ho}t<l»y JSxcurslous. Excursion tickets will be sold at all stations on the North-Western line (C. & N. W. R'y, C. St. P. M. & 0. R'y, S. 0. & P. R'y and F. E. & M. V. R. R.) to all other points on this system and on. tbe Union Pacific RaUvoad, within 200 miles of the gelling atatlop, at greatly reduced rates, Pecember W, 25, 26 ana 31. 1898, an,d January 1 a»4 ?, 18,99, gppri wtn January *. J899. Apply to agents OWca&Q &, North-Western tor |«U particulars. There''s nothing Buf(i|oh In a Tourist Sleeping Gar W ^^^^^ mm Personally conducted — vh the Burlington RouK —that's the way to go to California, Why F Because you don't change car? j you make fas? tinaej you, tee the fiuebt scenery on the globe. Your car in not w expensively finished nor w fine to look at as a pa)»ce sleeper, but it i« just as clean, just as comfortable, just as goox} rife in. ANO Every

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