The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on March 2, 1898 · Page 8
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 8

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, March 2, 1898
Page 8
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DBS M01NES: ALGONA, IOWA, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 1898. ..,,.. ., ... ..__,,. _.,._ _.. .....^.^.^ .^.^^.^^^^L^ I too*- of A restless young lass, Who lives in & house made of glass, AM froiftli6r location Unfits each Vlbfistfon Of hot and cold waves as that pass. |fnen heat Is announced, she will spririf TO qnlckly make note of th* thing. 'Tis very surjiriBlng That, simply by fining Bo true a report she can "bring. To self elevation inclined She hag jmch a volatile mind Wiat 1ft every keSsoA A suitable reason For frequent depression she'll find. Her temper mercurial thus Oi'eaWs everywhere such a fuas That in conversation Affairs of the nation Are Blighted, this maid to discuss. W'Jfc Ooltbti in, New York Christian Advocate. •'• ' • • A MORNING GLORY CULT, This Blower. Taking the Place of Ohrya- anthetnntn* Iii Japan. * " M.iss Eliza Buhamah Scidmore has an arfclijjie on '"Tie" 'Wonderful Morning CHEorieypf! Japan-' in Tne Century, iliss Soidmore; says:' As a floral sensation the ohrysanthe- n^nm inay be said to have had its day, tho carnation is going, -going, and seekers after novelty among flower fanciers are sighing for a new flower to conquer. It is hardly known, even to foreign residents in'Japan, that that land, which has given us so much of art and beauty, has lately revived the culture of its most remarkable flower, the asagao, our morning glory. JFor size, beauty, range bf color and illimitable variety there attained this sunrise flower precedes all others until its cultivation has become a craze, which is likely to 'spread to Other'countries, and—who knows—perhaps there introduce the current Jap,- anese custom of 5 o'clock in the morning teas and garden parties. AsagaOj the morning flower, is more especially. Japan's own blossom than the ohrysauthemum, which, like it, came, from China as a primitive sort ol weed, afterward to be evolved by "Japan^se art or magic iuto a floral wonder o£ a hundred varying forms. 'We, who know and grow the morning glory as a humble back yard vine on a string^—a vine with leaves like those of the, sweet potato and, puny little, pin! or purpje flowers—ar.e. as far, in the floral! 'darkness as the Chinese, who know,it ciiiefly!as.a ^'1,3 thing of'fields ' and ; i?edge' roy^s, the vine, of 'the little trumpets" or the "dawn'flower," that is ( entangled with briers and bushes for miles al ( 9ng the top of Peking's walls. The blil poetry and the old art do not seem to be permeated with it, as in Jappn, where the forms of vases, bowls and oupft the design^,and paintings ot tb.e inas,'te'r's, repe^ti the graceful '"'"^"i of .'vine ana,"fl6yjer,' and 'scores, oi '-us; 'poems' celebrate' the asagao in en .characters ,aq ', 'beautiful to the eyp asi,4 f iheir's6nhd. to the ear. ' The..asagao w;a^"br6nght' to Japan . with^'the, Buddhist religion, that particular,, pujt, of early.'rising, Scholars and prieqtsj wjip, went, over 'to study the new religion; brought back'the seeds of many Chinee; pjants.' The tea .plant came then ? . and Eisai brought the seeds of the sapred bo tree,' and'Tai Kwan, the Chinese priest at the pbakn temple in Uji, who may have! introduced the flower to Japan, was one of the first to sing of the,; asagao in graceful, outas, classic PP ; ems" which 'scholarly"brushes repeat today.;' "Asagaps bloom and fade so q,u)ckly, only to' prepare for the mor- row'gglory," is Tai Kwan's best known verse.'' '"'" ' tt*a«on» Olren for Allowing It to ftemaln In ttt Present Condition. Benjamin franklin's grave is in a Heglected condition. No appropriate stone rises over it, the ground round about it is tracared forj and the tomb of the gr6afc scholar and statesman is as obscure as that of a man whose name and fame were no part of the glory of his country. His grave is destitute oven of a headstone. It is covered by an old fashioned marble slab which was placed there 100 years ago and is now worn and discolored by age. Nothing has been done to it since Franklin was buried there, and even the modest arrangements of the grave are not kept in the perfect condition that is expected of a great man's tomb. The earth on all sides is bare of grass, the common thatching of the commonest grave, and an air of desolation is about the whole place. The se'xton said that tho descendants of Franklin would not do anything to repair the grave; neither would they allow anybody else to do anything. Every day he has received offers of subscriptions from visitors, who aro distressed by the forlorn appearance of Franklin's resting place and who would like to see it improved. In reply ho says, as he has been instructed, that Franklin wished it so, "being a plain man averse to display of any kind." Not long ago, at his own expense, ho had the fading inscription reouo, or elso even the only distinguishing mark, tho name, would be gone. If he had not done so, the last resting place of the greatest man, outside of Washington, in American history would 'have been forgotten and unknown. Who is responsible for this condition of affairs? Not tho living relatives of Franklin. The responsibility rests with the American people, to whom tho man belongs. They should see to it in tho future that what little is there to mark tho grave is kept in better order than it has been in tho past. Before he died Franklin provided for his own gravestone and instructed a stonecutter of his acquaintance in every detail, even to the inscription which was to bo placed upon it. Ho desired to be buried beside his wife, who had died somo years before, and a common slab was to bo placed over them both. The inscription arranged as ho ordered | it reads: NATURAL WONDER. ot BENJAMIN) DEB^AH PRANELIN 1700 How Fnnoh and Judy Came to England. The heyday of the puppet, show in EnglandI was'.during the last century. Long before then strolling showmen had«xhibited "drolls" or "motions"— *?. *k? English Puppets were known in the early' 'days—to: crowds' of gaping rustics,; but it was not until the time o Steeleahd Addispn that the puppet skew became a fftshipnable amjasement, p' rohized by upper tendom. ' Puloipella came to'London in 1606, when-an Italian puppet player'set up his booth at Charing Cross and paid a small rental to the overseers of St. Mar<• ' i.'urish His name was at once .ouud into Punchinello, which was 8o;iii to be completely Anglicized as Punch—Harper's Magazine! A Contingent Name. The Syracuse Post says that a girl baby was recently brought to a olergy- man'of the city ^6 be baptized. The latr ter asked the pame of the baby, '"Dinah MM "the father responded. "But what' does the 'M' stand for?" interrogaited the minister. '»'Welli I dp n'pt know yet. It all de? pends upon' ho,w she, turns out." "B(6w she turns out? Why,' I do not nnderstandypn|" said the don inie, "Oh.'if she turns but nice and sweet and: handy ab^out the house, like her mother; I sbajl call her Dinah May, but if'she has ift fiery temper and displays a bombshplVdisposition, like mine, I shall A^.11 l_'_Jl' 'T«vf _•: ' "I •*'** -•••••: . . ' • • .'.'.* " . * .- % At Her Mercy, "So the telephone girl is taking her revenge, Whii-ly?" "It's'awful, Every time I ring up She connects, me with three or four wjrpng numbers in succession, and then sw«etly informs me that the number, wh.ieh J really want' is 'busy now.' "— Aa Epitaph. The tonjej? <# using porcelain oa a tpmbalmf) is illn a village oiii tor from St, Louis, Tfte iteads: " ' . She is tWo| The fhjal "e" baa boea knocked off itf i thunder storm. -rSt. Louis Star, plerg^of Russia , are divided into Br^tbe white or village o}er- BJBStallbfl f»*Wied,'ajWl tfce who are Everything was done as ha desired, and the work was paid for out of his estate and stands today the same as when he died.—Philadelphia Times. Wabbled When He Camo to Possum. _ Old Uncle Olaybrook is a very religious old darky and holds converse with his Maker twenty times q, day or oftener. His, habit is to pray and then turn off into what appears to be a one sided conversation with the Lord, but it is evident that there is another party to it as far as he is concerned. To hear him reminds one very much of a telephone conversation. _ The other day he was going through his customary devotions, and when he got to the point of expressing thankfulness, for the many blessings of life ho broke off into a recounting of them, says Cicero T. Sutton of the Owens- borp Inquirer. "An den, dar's possum, Lord—how'd you over think of makin possum? Possum jes' beats all. You jes' couldn't beat it of you tried ag'in. Possum, he, he! Yes, dar's watahmil- lion. I hadn't thought of dat. Hit's jes' great. You couldn't beat hit neither, could you, Lord? Now, hones', couldn' you jes 1 fix it so dey bofe git ripe at onoet? Ef you was to do dat, you moughfc go out an shet de do'. Dey wouldn't be no mo' sip an no mo', sorrow an no mo' tribelation. Jes' try hit onoet, Lord, an jes' see whut a diffunce hit would make." And then "old undo" began to hum a quaint negro camp meeting tune and stopped to look at a piece of liver in a butcher's stall as the best substitute for his loved possum or as best suited to the small piece of money which represented his total movable wealth. *he Tramp Jt«a Sandstone Bowlder the New Jerney Mountains. Countless thousands of years ago vast stretches of glacial deposits came sliding across the state of Now Jersey, mounted the Palisades, pushed their way. across the Hudson river, scoured over Manhattan Island and slid out into the Atlantic ocean, whither they disintegrated and sank into the deep or perhaps glided on to the other shore. But in their onward march these glaciers left indestructible evidence of their grinding stride, and today all along the palisades the trap rocks and bowlders are worn smooth where the mountains of ice and sand passed over them. In some rocks are deep scratches, all pointing eastward and showing which way tho glacial deposits drifted. Thero is the evidence, mute, but iudis- putabla To the careful observer there are numberless other evidences of the presence of glacial influences in tho past, but none is more convincing thau th tramp bowlder that half finally settle down in the woods in tho heart of En glewood borough. Thero it sits, a tow ering mass of rook weighing perhap 200 tons and resting upon three point which in themselves find a purchase in a flat rock that is part of and coinmoi to the character of rock which compose the palisades. But, strangely enough and to the wonderment of geologists tho tramp bowlder is rod sandstone fron the Jersey hills 25 miles inland, am tho pedestal is motauiorphito or soft granite. Around this marvelous monument have grown trees that may perhaps bo a century old, and they huvo completely hedged it in, while tho rock itself lian stood where it stands today for thousands of years. On tho pedestal or that part of it which is protected from tho action of tho elements can be seen tho deep ridges and scars made across its flat surface by tho great grinding pressure of tho body of ice and sand that passed over it countless years ago when New York was ice and snow clad and the world was a desolate waste in a state of chaos. This tramp bowlder has caused geologists much wonderment and is regarded today as one of the finest specimens ever left in the wako of a glacier. It is equally astounding as though an explorer should find tho hull of a steamboat in the Sahara desert. Tho only way it could get there would be through some great convulsion that had lauded it from tho sea in the heart of tho inland sands.— New York Journal ENLARGED LYMPH GLANDS, What the BIRDS' EGGS. The Bugs and Moving. A certain man who owns a row of dwelling houses over in the northwest quarter of the town has learned wisdom by bitter experience. A friend of mine went to him not long ago to rent one of the houses. "Do you lease it by the month or by the year?" she inquired. "That depends on what you are going to have on your floors," answered the landlord. "Are you going to have carpets?" "No," answered my friend; "we have rugs." "You'll have to sign a year's lease then," the landlord made reply, smiling craftily. "If you bought carpets ahd bad them fitted to the floors, I know you'd stay in the house as long as you could, but these rugs are too easily adjusted to any sized room. You'll haye ;o sign a year's lease if you have rugs. There are seven houses in my row, and six of them haven't kept a tenant longer 'ihan two years at a time for the last five years. The seventh houso-v-well, the jeople in it had carpets made and laid " it five years ago, and they haven't ;hought of moving. Carpets, I'll rent >y the month; rags, a year's lease."-Washington Post. Keasons Why They Are Not All ol One Shape.' Why is there not a fixed form for all eggs? We can see no reason iu tho anatomy of the bird, but we may often find reasons for the shape of any particular egg in its later history. It is noticeable, for instance, that the more spherical eggs, as those of owls, trogous and the like, are usually laid in holes in the earth, rocks or trees, where they cannot fall out of the nest, and that the eggs of the ordinary song bird, which makes a well constructed nest, are oval, while the slim, straight sided, conoidal eggs, tapering sharply to a point, belong to birds that construct little or no nest—to tho shore birds, terns, guillemots and the like. Why? Because these last drop them iu small clutches and with little or no preparation upon sand or rock, where, were they spherical, they could only with difficulty be kept closer beneath tho sitting bird, but conical objects will tend always to roll toward a center. An additional advantage is that eggs of the latter shape will take up less space— form a snugger package to be warmed. In the case of guillemots the single egg laid is especially flat sided and tapering, and the species owes its perpetuation largely to this circumstance, since, were it not for tho egg's topliko tendency to revolve about its own apex, the chances are that it would be pushed off the lodge of naked sea cliff where the careless or stupid bird leaves it. This suggests a word in reference to the popular fable that sitting birds carefully turn thair eggs every day or of teu- er in order to warm them equally. No such thing is done, because unnecessary, since, as we have seen, the germinal part always rises to the top and places itself nearest the influential warmth of the mother's body.—Ernest Ingersoll in Harper's Magazine. Moan and How Thny Should tie Treated. "What are these lumps in my baby's neck?" is a question often asked tho doctor. Lumps, or kernels as they ore often called, because they feol like grains or seeds under the examining fingers, aro lymph bodies, or glands. Tho system of lymph glands and tubes covers the entire body. If it wore exposed to view, it would have the appearance of meshwork. Lymph ducts load from the skin, from tho mucous membrane, and from bone to lymph bodies , which are further connected with one another by tho same means. At any point where there is an in flnmmation, a sore, a breaking of th skin or mucous surface, there will found open mouths of lymph ducts int which waste matter is liable to enter This waste matter sets up an irritatio and an enlargement of tho lymph bo< ies to which it finds its way. It wi! now be easily understood how such a enlargement or inflammation of th lymph bodies always points to n stat of inflammation at somo point, perhap at a considerable distance from th lumps themselves. Thus a felon on th finger causes enlarged glands to appen in tho armpit. Lumps in tho nock may sometimes be plainly traced to eczema of tho scalp. Sometimes the mouth is tho scat of the trouble. Largo and inflamed tonsils may bo present, or the tooth may bo decaying. When tho ear is tho seat of an abscess, either before or during tho course of i\ purulent discharge enlarged glands are common. Enlarged lymph bodies just behind feho angle of tho jaw aro sometimes significant of catarrh of tho nose and the adjacent portion of tho throat. Tho existence ot enlarged lymph bodes for a few days, or sometimes for a longer interval, "cannot bo said to bo in itself dangerous. The case is different when lumps exist for several weeks 01 longer. They become changed in character after this time and begin to break down and form purulent mutter. This stage, too, is more difficult to cure, as surrounding tissue may become affected. Tho skin over the glands is involved and becomes part of the large, soft, red or purplish swelling, now called an abscess, which either breaks or is lanced by tho surgeon, Those enlargements may become invaded by tho tubercle bacilli, from which consumption of the lungs or a general consumption may develop. During the course of an infectious disease, when tho glands in tho neck sometimes become enlarged, the care of the throat must not bo neglected. The use of an antiseptic solution on the affected parts will often produce an immediate good result. — Youth's Companion. NO USE FOE LADDERS. THE RETIRED BURGLAR TELLS OF TWO UNFORTUNATE EXPERIENCES. Bo Got Into nnrt Out of thn Honaea With EBSC, bnt Tlmt 'tVnsn't All—How a iJo- tectlro Got n Clew ami WorJtcd It—Ks- OHped One* With n tlroken Arm. "Ladders, when yon find them handy," said tho retired burglar, "may seem like a very convenient way of Retting into open second story windows, but nftor two experiences that I had •with them I gave them up and stuck to tho old fashioned way of doors and cellar Windows. "In a suburban town that I visited once I found 'em painting a Queen Anno house in the rainbow style that they used to paint houses in, nisd that, I suppose, they paint 'em in still to some extent. The men had ladders up, no stage, nud I noticed that at • the close of the day one of them was painting aiear a. window, arid I wondered if he'd leave his ladder there when ho stopped work night. I sauntered around that way nt About Lightning Rods. although they may not entirely protect a building, may preserve it from being seriously damaged. Tho Jefferson physical laboratory of Harvard university is protected in the following manner: Each of the chimneys is provided with rods which are connected with conductors running along the eaves. From tho corners of tho roof coiiductora are led to the ground and are connected underground with a conductor which entirely surrounds the building and which is connected to a permanent water supply at least ten feet below the surface of tho ground. Iron pipes are driven to reach this water supply. This is as near an approach to a cage as circumstances would permit. A trolley car has a lightning rod in its trolley, which is connected through its motor with tho rails and tho ground. It is not beyond possibility, however, that a discharge descending tho trollej arm should refuse to go through the motor and should seek a quicker oscillating path through the car. This is not likely to happen often, for the network of the trolley wire and the telegraph lines of a town or city, together with tho electric light wires, separate and divert into many channels the electrical disturbance. The great increase of wires in our cities serves to protect from great damage by lightning, for many paths are offered to the discharges, which are thus broken up into more or less harmless sparks.—Professor John Trowbridge iu Chautauquan. , I4ou Tawing, Men who have had long experience with lions give them a very bad character. There is said to be no art in so ailed lion taming but the art of terror- am, arid no rule but keeping the lions' itomaohs foil and their minds cowed, There jwer hue been, and there never will bs f <$y pome, an appea.1 made jto tie lion's intelligence, because the lip- ted amount of that quality which, he by big; A Lucky Find. Two men walking on Campbell street toward Twelfth one night were accosted by a negro woman who was excited. "Kin either one of you mens give me a match?" she said. "What for?" "I lost a quahtah down there, an J want to hunt fur it." She was given several matches and ran ahead and began striking matches and looking along the sidewalk. When tho two men came up, she had stopped hunting and uad apparently found the coin. "Well, did you find it?" inquired one of the men. "No, but I done find this horseshoe, an that's bettor'n two quahtahs," she said.—Kansas City Star. Theatrical. Brette—I never saw such a cold audience in my life. Light—Didn't they warm up a bit? Brette—Well, when they spoke of bringing out the author J. believe some of the audience got hot,—Youkers Statesman. A contemporary mentions that there «re schools in Belgium where the girls are not only taught housekeeping in all its branches, but the management oi children as wejl. {Seven British regiments have been gjyejft permission, to add, the ward''' Chit: to their oqlorav Poison Ivy. Just what it is that induces poison ivy to play its injurious pranks on some people nt some times and not at others is still a profound mystery. One thing is certain—the number of people susceptible to tho poisoning influence must be extremely few, from the fact that iu tho vicinity of Philadelphia the highways ami byways are overrun with the plant to an enormous extent. It is frequently impossible for people to go by without brushing against it, and if it is the vapor or some exudation from the plant which causes tho trouble thousands of persons must be undor the influence to every one who suifers from it. The writer of this paragraph knows of a tract of laud on which the plant grows profusely and on which many scores of laborers are employed. These laborers are frequently set to weeding and pulling out the plant by the naked hand, and, so far as the writer knows, none of these men was ever poisoned by it. The cattle eat it greedily whenever they get an opportunity. It seems to have no injurious influence on them.— Meehan's Monthly. Kugliuh Iu Japan, Here are some attempts at English to be seen on tho signboards in the streets of Tokyo: , "Wine, beer and other medicines." "A shop, the kind of umbrella, parasol or stick." "The shop for the furniture of the several countries." "Prices, no increase or diminish." "AU kinds of superior sundries kept here." "Skin maker and seller" (portmanteau gbopJ.^Lptt.dou Tit-Bits. after dark, and there it was, and it was summer, and tho window was wide open. Most folks in the country, when their houses are being painted, are apt to bo n little skittish about the ladders, and if one should bo left like this one they'd bo pretty sure to close tho window near it and lock it, but these folks didn't appear to bo disturbed, and as fai- ns my getting into the house was concerned it was just-about as easy for mo ;o walk up that ladder and step off ihrough tho window as it would have )een to walk in at tho front door with t unlocked. "Later, about 2 o'clock tho next morning, I went up that ladder arid in t tho window without tho slightest ;rouble, and there was nobody sleeping n that room. It was all just as easy as t could be. I poked around tho house and gathered up what stuff there was worth carrying off and went back to that room and tho open window and down the ladder and off. • "A month after that, as I was walking across the platform of a station on the same road that tho other town was on to tako a train, there was a man laid his hand on my arm and says, |Now, don't make a fuss about it, and it'll be a good deal easier all around.' And I recognized iu him tho detective of the road, a man that I knew meant business, and I went along with him. "Being a man of brains, he had gone up to the house where tho robbery was as soon as ho had heard of it, which was tho day after. There ho had put himself in the burglar's place and followed in his footsteps as near as he could. He had had the ladder placed in just tho same position, and ho had gone up that and stepped off into the window and followed over his track inside the house as close as ho could guess at it, and then he'd come back to the window and got out on to the ladder, and so down to the ground. "Tho ladder went up oil tho right hand side of this window, and while it was easy enough to reach it, still it was quite a little step from the sill to tho ladder, and he noticed that when he had got his foot on tho ladder he swung back a little toward tho house, so that his elbow just touched it in the angle between the window frame and the clapboards. Ho gave a little push on that elbow naturally and threw himself out again on to tho ladder. Thou he stopped and looked at tho spot where his elbow had touched, Tho paint was dry and there was no mark, but he called up the painters and learned that on the morning before—that was tho morning after tho had been robbed— the paint at that place, ou tho cupboard by the window frame, and ou the frame itself had been smudged a little, and they'd touched it over. That was all tho detective wanted to know. Prom that time ou ho had been looking for a man with two paint spotn of different colors on the left elbow of his coat, and 1 was tho man. Kept His Head. It is not safe to joke among an oriental people unless you understand theif manners and customs. Lord Charles Beresford, who accompanied the Prince of Wales in India, relates a funny incident of the journey, which just escaped being n tragic one. "Wo were elephant shooting in Ceylon," ho says, "and were driving back to Colombo, when the horses in the wagonette showed signs of fatigue. Lord Aylesbury, who was on the box, took tho reins from our Tamil coachman, whereupon the animals swerved just as wo were crossing n rude bridge, and tho whole equipage, passengers and all, were precipitated into the nullah below. "No one was hurt. I playfully belabored the coachman with a bundle of elephants' tails and then told him to mount the box. At the same time I turned to tho Malay sergeant and said in solemn tones: 11 'Out that man's head off.' "He, thinking it an awful crime to upset the prince, instantly drew his saber and rushed at the coachman. "Fortunately the coachman understood English and scrambled on to a ledge of rock out of reach. Seeing that my joke had nearly caused a catastrophe, I called out to the sergeant: " 'The prince has graciously pardoned him, Lot him come down.' " So the coachman kept his head on his shoulders, and there was no harm done, but if ho had not understood English and had not got out of the way! As our English friends themselves are wont to remark, "Only fawncy!" Half Kivfllr, Half Englishman. If, as is sometimes held, though we ourselves are very strongly of tho opposite opinion, tho Hottentots and Bushmen of South Africa are not human creatures caught in the very act of developing from lower forms, but are the result of degeneration from some higher type, then the creature resulting from a cross between the two might revert to the higher type and bo of higher social feeling and intellectual power than either. We have ourselves in only one instance met an individual who was a cross between the English and Kaffir races, though we know that several such exist in South Africa. This man was certainly merely a composite of tho two races, without any tendency to reversion. Ho was the son of an English gen tlemau; his mother was a Kaffir woman who had not been draggled under the feet of civilization. The man was proud, determined, resolute. Self educated, he raised himself to a post of high trust under the English government. He combined the dash and courage of the Kaffir with the pride and intelligence of the Englishman. He had the fault, which is common to both his parent races, of being cruel and indomitable when opposed, but of tho vices supposed to be inseparable from half castism—servility and insincerity—he had not a trace. Ho was a man and a gentleman. But whether if such crosses were common such men would often arise is quite another question.—Fortnightly Review. "It may seem amazing to you that hadn't rubbed tho paint off. I had rubbed somo of it off, and I was going to rub tho rest off tho uext day, and then I 'kept setting that next day ahead, as we aro apt to do, and I finally wound up by letting it go altogether, the rest of it. There wasn't ouo chance in a thousand of its leading to any thing, and even as it was I might have talked myself out of the paint, but I had a watch that I'd got iu tho house in my pocket, and that settled it. "That was one ladder. This was the other; "Looking around tho outside of a house in the country one night, I found a ladder lying on the ground against tho rear of the house. They had some fruit trees in tho garden, and I suppose they'd been working over them, or ou the grape arbor maybe, and were going on with tho work next day and had left the ladder out instead of taking it down cellar for tho night. It was summer, and on the side of the house there were two windows open in one room I thought I'd set the ladder up then and Patsy Toolc It Bilin. Patsy had been in the country only a few days and had not recovered from the effects of his ocean voyage. Ha complained of a headache, and his sympathetic aunt finally decided to give him a Soidlitz powder. She got two glasses and put the contents of the blue package iuto one and emptied the white package into the other. "Now, you hold your mouth open," said his aunt, holding tho glasses, one in each hand. Young Patsy opened a spacious cavern, displaying two fine rows of molars, and, with a dexterous motion, his aunt mixed the contents of both glasses and poured the Seidlitz powder into his face. He spluttered and coughed and ran about the room. "Well, how did you like it?" asked his aunt smilingly when he had recovered somewhat. "I wudn't ha' minded it so much if ye hadn't give it ter me whin it wuz mini! he gasped between chokes. It cured Patsy's headache, however.— New York Sun. tho go in one of those windows. I set the ladder up and found it a little short, but by reaching up and getting a hold of tho window sill and stepping U p on the ends of tho side pieces of tho ladder I was able to get in tolerable easy. I went through the house and gathered up what there was to get and was turning to go from the last room when I knocked a picture over on a bureau and woke up the man that was sleeping in the room I went back to the room I'd come in at and backed out the window and huuc down for the ladder, and, by cracks, it wasn't there! But I'd got to go all the same, and I let go and dropped. I saw tho ladder as I was going down at the next window. I'd got out the wrong window. I turned half over going down struck on my left side and broke my arm' "I got away that time, but I was laid up for ejx weeks, and after that J didn't fool any wore with ladders.'W York Sun, A Valuable Khymc. James Smith, one of the authors of celebrated "Rejected Addresses " was better paid for a trifling exertion of his versatile muse than any poet since the world began. One day he met the late Mr. Straohan, the king's printer at a dinner party and found him suffering from gout and old age, though his intellectual' faculties remained unimpaired The next morning he transmitted to him tho following jeu d'esprif The oauso 1 presently found out Wliou you began to tnlk. ac- This compliment proved so highlv capable to the old gentleman that he made an immediate codicil to his win by which he beueath the sum of *375 for bequeathed to the i t er 000, being at tho S of Week iy. A lunatic'* Comment, the The that to be for Eighteen days are required to

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