Fulham and Hammersmith Chronicle from Hammersmith, London, England • 4

4 Thursday February 26 1987 Loud snooze is bad snooze £50 for the privilege of putting a stop to the racket However one shopper thought the Snoozer would prove invaluable to her friend of Islington' whose life has been made a misery by her unrelenting nocturnal eruptions And another intoned: wives would give £100 just to keep their husbands But a majority of those interviewed in my Snoozer survey were less enthusiastic Here are some of their verdicts: A PRESS release plopped onto my desk the other day proclaiming that the high-tec revolution has brought yet another modern miracle to these shores A company called Pro-datec is hoping to wake Britain up to a little gadget which claims awake than I to its advantages Not wanting to condemn the poor old Snoozer out of hand I despatched one of my minions to a local shopping mall to seek the views of Joe and Josephine Public Alas for 1 rodatec the Person on the Street by and large seems to share my view on the matter My young tyro had no problem tracking down some snorers or their bedmate victims but few of them were inclined to fork out will revolutionise the sleeping habits of the nation Known as the Snoozer its makers say it has a 90 per cent success rate in stopping snorers snoring And they hope the long-suffering sleeping partners of chronic snorers will dash out and spend the best part of fifty quid to put an end to their night-time blues who as we all know is lying in his back as all snorers do to adopt a new position people realise that snoring can contribute to high blood pressure sexual problems heart disease heart attacks and says Konrad Goess-Sarau who is spearheading Prodatec's UK Snoozer launch For my money an anti-snoring device is a bit of a yawn although I must say the mem sahib seemed a little more The Snoozer alarm' was developed by Swedish researchers and apparently 20000 have been sold over there since its launch two months ago It is a device the size of a bar of soap which contains a microphone an electronic controller and vibrator (it says here) When placed under the puiow of a potential snorer it is triggered off by three to five consecutive snores It then begins to vibrate forcing the snorer JOSIE and Wendy have just arrived in the capital from north of the border Their solutions to the problem were simple they snored I sleep with said one Other antidotes that come cheaper than the Snoozer included hitting them over the head and screaming at them DAVE had several words for the Snoozer One of them was and other are unprintable Dave was up from Bristol visting his London-based girlfriend Anna seems like an absolute load of junk to quoth Dave just a breathing process how can you stop it I certainly pay ARTHUR BATSON of Willesden used to be a snorer but found a cure free of charge courtesy of the NHS when surgeons sortea his adenoids out about seven years ago BOB EVANS who pulls a fine pint at the Blue Anchor on the river at Hammersmith admits to a few night-time imagine people wanting to spend £50 on something to stop them Steady with VOICE pill is hard to swallow props Glenda! come to the conclusion that actors are seriously miscast in this country at least as spokesmen for political parties Years ago when the then Avenger Girl Honor Blackman told viewers of a Liberal Party political broadcast people say a Liberal vote is a wasted vote I want to throw them over my it was probably counter-productive And were any voters swayed by John Cleese's witty broadcast for the Alliance or Kenny typically eccentric rally speech for the Tories? I doubt It Last week Labour wheeled out Glenda Jackson for one of their TV party political broadcasts and at first she seemed to be doing much better than some of her colleagues Confessing that she was a keen gardener she pottered round a greenhouse likening good government to good husbandry of plants Quite a neat conceit But she failed to convince as a good gardener when spraying away cheerfully with a watering can she doused a cyclamen thereby probably condemning it to an untimely demise Tut tut Ms Jackson Any half-decent gardener will tell you that you must only water cyclamens from the bottom are what they is the intriguing logo for a range of veterinary products which makes human health products pale into insignificance by just comparing sheer size and variety of the range available Now in the week following that mighty gathering of pampered pooches Crufts half of London's pressmen are busy forcing seaweed raspberry or rhubarb tablets down iittle four-legged loved OF LONDON (My London) by ARNOLD WESKER UNEMPLOYED? EMPLOY YOURSELF! the is what we like about Covent Garden because it has the beginnings of street life But the advantage we have over the Parisians is that more people in London live in houses and so have gardens My childhood memories of London are war memories Memories of going down into the catacombs of Spitalfield Market There were vast cellars there and during the blitz we used to go down there regularly at 7 and come up at 7 in the morning I was constantly playing truant from school and on those days going on the underground was like an adventure I remember the water tanks which were all around London filled with water for when there were fires from incendiary bombs A number of kids drowned in these tanks I once built a balsa wood raft and sailed in one of the tanks until a policeman found me and made me promise not to do it again ARNOLD Wesker is directing two new plays at the Lyric Theatre and Whatever happened to Betty Lemon" are playing until April 14 FROM East End boy to with and fame as one of the angry young men of fifties drama to grandfather looking nostalgically back to the halcyon days of the Royal Court Arnold Wesker talks to Sharron Kerr throats The chance to enrol Rover in the health club came with an invite from Denes which has produced veterinary herbal products for over 30 years to all aspiring press dognoscenti to troll down to Crufts to meet veterinary adviser and hear about their products Those attending were asked to fill in a form outlining a few brief details about pooch and to take along a photograph for the vet to see Armed with a rather charming picture of Ben my ten-year-old lop-eared mongrel (taken shortly after ACTION broken his leg while involved in a rapturous entanglement with next door's pedigree alsatian paternity suit follows) I set off to Crufts Now having already tried coaxing Ben into becoming a health addict by buying him greenleaf tablets for his rheumatism and already being a convert of eating myself my only problem was how to get the tablets down his blessed throat I have tried hiding one of the tiny bright green tablets inside a chocolate no he doesn't like hard centres tried burying it right in the middle of his dinner but miraculously five minutes-later the contents of a large tin of dog food and accompanying biscuit has disappeared and the tablet slightly paler through wear and tear is left in the middle of his plate tried rugby-tackling him forcing it down his throat and stroking his gullet until he swallows Five minutes later I hear a and find quietly disposed of the tablet in the nearest corner Bouncing The vet seem to have much more idea either He didn't need to convince me of the worth of their products my rheumatic English setter which eats anything and everything on principle is now bouncing round their garden full of left-over greenleaf tablets a white meat diet" the vet advised No problem there we'd all prefer chicken and rabbit to a tin of Wooffit any day But what about this tablet I wailed? Perhaps bring out a soluble variety and be able to dissolve one in his tea Unemployed? Ever thought about working for yourself? The Enterprise Allowance Scheme can give you £40 a week for a year if when you apply: You are receiving unemployment or supplementary benefit: You have been unemployed for at least 8 weeks: and You have £1000 available to invest (a loan or overdraft will do) Ask about the Enterprise Allowance Scheme at your jobcentre The Royal Court Theatre in Sloane Square will always be a special place for me This is where my first five plays were done in London I get very attached to things and I really felt it was theatre I got very possessive about it The whole area around the Royal Court is special too because I began life as a playwright there Suddenly I belonged to the world of theatre Before that I trained as a pastry chef in London in a restaurant known then as The Hungarla in Lower Regent Street It then became the Lodge I know what it is called now the part of London that holds the best memories for me The street behind the restaurant which was the entrance to the kitchen Like Green Park where I used to meet my wife after lunch Even as a Londoner brought up in the East End 1 do wish I knew more parts of London There are all sorts of corners which are undiscovered I really have any spare time in London to find them People forget working as a playwright is like a little business You are not only writing you are meeting publishers and entertaining foreign visitors My spare time is taken up with that and my new grandchild One of the problems of life as a writer is that you live in a city you live in a study I think living in London gives me inspiration for my plays The trips I make out are to the post office the photostating machine and the theatre in the evenings Taking visitors to the city is an excursion Foreign visitors find London relaxed But it is getting less and less so Friends from abroad do fall in love with London though I think because there is a welcoming element about London Spots I always take them to are the Blackfriars pub Dr House off Fleet Street and the Inn at St Dock And Covent Garden New areas have emerged in London Like the rebuilding that has taken place at Covent Garden and at the back of Cambridge Circus I enjoy all that I like to see people taking buildings and restoring them We lived in Paris for nine months at one time and we loved the street life I think that THE Vfeu'veqof th' ENTERPRISE Vtfek got the ALLOWANCE SCHEME.