The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on February 28, 1894 · Page 7
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 7

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, February 28, 1894
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Page 7
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*»•»«!* /TiT"^! "•""••* "" «.wt» n dozes of Sal- £fttiotf Oil at each station. It .instantly relieves all burns, scalds and bruises, and in a few days makes an effectual cuf6 of the xvound. "* •*•»•**•« the man v?hd spends for , his shJ P to come la wastes his time, because he originally omitted to send out any ship. • Street-car drivers and others who are constantly exposed to all kinds ot weather, ftad cannot find time to lay by, should ever bear in mind this plain fact tliat Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup cures coughs and colds. It is unequalled. Like a broad gieam of sunlight sent into a glooaiy dungeon is imagination to the human goul. She who marries a man to save him, will later divorce him to save herself. A man U like a gas jet. The more he blows the loss light he gives out. TJPPEtt :DE§ MgPfEH .ALGQJ.A IOWA WEDNESDAY MBRUAHg 28. tax. */tffl i Iktft tf ft*!- At* " ''"""""""' "-r,-"— - ..«.• .nrn .,, , „ '''I '" « r\<^r^^ CUftRENt SHAtiP POINTS AND SATIRICAL REMARKS, In Scqn«l to 'Rnstuil nnrt the »uck *i»*«« Chapter* and Tableau— Convict and the Gobd Weather— Floating tloUam, 'linfttn* and ''the Decoy KNOWLEDGE Brings comfort and improvement and tends- to personal enjoyment when rightly used. The many 'who live better than others and enjoy life more, with less expenditure, by more promptly adapting the world's best products to the needs of physical being, will attest the valuo to health of the pure liquid laxative principles embraced in the remedy, Syrup of Figs. Its excellence is due to its presenting in. the form moat acceptable and pleasant to the taste, the refreshing and truly beneficial properties of a perfect laxative ; ^effectually cleansing the system, dispelling colds, headaches nnd fevers and permanently curing constipation. It has given satisfaction to millions and met with the approval of the medical profession, because it acts on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels without weakening them and it k perfectly free from every objectionable substance. Symp of Figs is for sale by all druggists in 50c and $1 bottles, but it is manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co. only, whose name is printed on every package, also the name, Syrup of Figs, and being well informed, you will not accept any substitute if offered. 'Jtastus—I'll see ef I kin ketch sum mo' ob deni ducks. Sam Fowler—Oolly! derc's a. duck. KOt valuable Information free, from the Iowa Putont OflJt-e, DCS Alolnes, )a. . and I ei Vlolnea property for intiire. .write us. Moriill & Bevlugton. KG 6t.li, »es Moines. IOWA UK- POSIT AND v - I.OAN «;O., Yonnfrerman Block, Dps Moiling. In. 1'roHpeiif.UH and Circulars mailml free. WALL PAPER ... lampion, AT 1'ltrCES LOW- UK THAN EVER ISEVOHK OFFEK- „ , ED. Send liu for CO rnpur hnngnrs will do well to jiet our r.... t r,,».. ~... , 31 ..<• , CITY NURSERIES. Iniyer or liettcr Holrr.tud stock In tlio . Nor uwcBt, noronoanj-wliere better adapted to the linen of Pmlrle Wnntera. Complete in all departments. Fruit Trees, Foreut Trees, BmnllFruiiB Evergreens. Ornamentals, «te. An honust,reliable Ajfent wanted In ornry county In the Norluvrest ?2S'J! 1 f 1to -r 0u . t SV ln , 11 lhc bost0 ' teniiK otfuroi" 1870 C. f^ WATltOUM, I>«H doilies, la. 1894 STKOIAMSTS. CHRONIC NERVOUS AWO PRIVATE DISEASES, :oph on Private DltuinFC* A nodes* . te 4 fine r .._, boughfc I don't see how you _^_ the motley. SbH—lam buying: it on the installment plan. "Oh! But where did yoti get all thlj* handsome furniture?" "Buying that on the installment plan, too." "Humph! Must cost something. I don't see how you can spare so much for clothes. Your wife dresses like ft princess." "Yes, get our clothes on tho installment plan." "Won't do, won't do at all Suppose you should die?" "I can be .buried on the installment plan easily enough." "But your wife Won't have any money to pay the installments." "Yes, she'll have plenty. I'm insured on the installment plan—pay every week." Very Donne Iguorancn. Mrs. Wayback—I ain't goin' to stick- in the country any longer. If we sell out the farm now, we'll have enough to live on, and then we can move to the city and keep up with the times. I've lived in-ignorance an' darkness just as long as I'm goin' to. Farmer Wayback — Good lands, What's pot into yen? "I've got ashamed of myself, that?s what. One can't luarn anything- off here in the wilderness. When we was at the World's Fair, I heard, some one point out a flne-lookin' ' man and tell his wife that man was' one of the .big guns of the literary world, and .that he writ fer -the magazines." "What of it?" ' "What of it? Why, here you and I has been grovelin' along fer years and years; a thinkin' that a, magazine gun was something to shoot with."—New York Weekly. Among the recent inventions ia it "short-hand typewriter," designed especially for rapid wont. A hew idea is to have a bath tub oil wheels. The tub cau thus be filled and wheeled into a bedroom, where the bath can be taken. ^The development of gas and gaso^ line engines in this country has been so great that many believe'it is only a question of time when they will supersede steam engines for the generation of the electric current. A leading Pittaburg glass company has invented an innovation that, it is claimed, ivill revolutionize the manufacturing of pressed glassware. The powerful force of compressed air is ingeniously applied to the manipulation of the presses, which heretofore have only been operated by a huge lever, which the operator must pull back and throw his weight upon. The new device is simple in construction and, it is estimated will reduces the cost of'pro- ducing pressed ware seventy-five per cent. HH U. -8. doverrtmettt Chemists have ^parted, after an examiiiatidtt of the dlffefeHt bmtids, that the fcOYAt fcak- ittg Powdei* Is absolutely pure, greatest iti strength, and superior to ail othefs. ' 166WAI.L 6f. She Ordered Clam Chowder. Lady—Once last summer I saw some boys "treading- for clams," as they colled it. They were very dirty-looking hoys; they were barefooted—feet unwashed most likely—and they were walking through the mud at low tide. When^they felt a clam with their feet they-lifted it out with their toes. It just made me sick. I hope your clams are not caught in that way. Waiter—In course not, ma'am. The man wot furnishes clams to this restaurant fishes for 'em with a silver spoon. Bosom Friends. Fair customer— "As I wish 1o present a friond of tnmo With a bottle ot your 'tincture on her birthday I should like to know it it is really to be depended on for the removal of summer freckles?" Druggist—"To' tell you the nonest truth —no, ma'aai." Style Costs. Mrs. Squills— Isn't §40 a pretty large bill forthotwo.or. three visits you made Mr Bilby? S(luiUs-^o,"-it's just right for Bilby. ho bad the grip— which he had ' " I told him .— „„„ „„„ gnu—%v _ _ insisted it was "la grippe." "The"bill of ,~ will cure him entirely of tho "la grippe" lj£Vt)l t. •.. . ..t, Her Recommendation. 'Can you recommend the last cook you 'Oh, denr^ yc.s." 'Understands'all kinds o£ cooking?" ''No, but she will leave without waiting- to bo discharged." A Useful Custom. She—"What is the object of all this Jjeuton self-denial and social stagnation'{» He—"Why, that's to help us save money for Easter bounets." A Natural Result A Colorado cowboy was in the senate gallery looking down on tho most august assemblage on earth, when he noticed Senator Peffer. "Who's his nibs with the alfalfa wbifr kers?" he asked of the guide "That's Senator Peffer." "Where's he from?" '"'*. "Kansas." "Where the cyclones breed-'" '""" "Yes." / 'Thai; accounts for it. Notbin' short; 01 a healthy yearlin' cyclone could ever blow through them whiskers." Deafneds Cannot be Cured t£ ,?£„ B PP llcft «on8,"as the? catsnot reach tno diseased portion of the ear. There is only one way to euro Deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by uu inttamed condition of tho mucous lining °f tho Bustaehian Tube. Whou tuts tube gets inllamad you have a rum^ — sound or imperfect hearing, and it is entirely closed Deafness is the i-nir«~ n ~' * Ur ^^ tho mtl(l "miatiou can be ™i?L°J^ n . d * hfa tubo "tip?* to its no* hearing will be destroyed - -ftses out of ten are caused __„ —.„ which is nothing; but an in- Homed condition of tho mucous surfaces. Wo will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be curod by Hall's Catarrh (jure. Send for oirculora, free V. X. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. L'Utro-istn. Tfin Both together—Fer do lub o' mussy! whad's dat?—Puck. A Liberal Donation. Sunday School Teacher—The superintendent said he wanted all the children to earn the money they brought this Sunday. Did yon earn all this? Boy—Yes'm. "All by yourself?" "Yes'm." "That's lovely. How did you do it?" "I went around to all the neighbors and told them I wouldn't play any tricks on 'em next Halloxveve if they'd give me some money for the poor heathen." London's Groat Curiosity. Attendant (Mrs. .Tarley's Wax Works, London)—This, ladies and ([gentlemen '• his ha life-like representation hof the Hinglish gentleman who went to the World's Fair hat Chicago, traveling the hentire distance from New York to Chicago without being 'eld up by 'iglr> waymen, remaining in Chicago two weeks without being robbed, hand returning to New York without being- killed hin ha railway haccident. Very Aro tlie senations experienced by tlio nervous and dyspeptic. Unaccountable palpitation, buzzing- in the ears, flushing of one side of the face, odd taste and tingling In tho mouth, constant restlessness, stiuo-- ing in the gullet and sinking in the storn- acli, acute sensitiveness to slight wounds that magnifies them tenfold, low spirits— these are only a few of tho eh arm ing experiences of the individual who suffers from conjoined nervousness and indigestion—a team that usually travel together Their gay and festive career is, however, brought to a full-stop by that greatest of stomachics, Hostetter'u Stomach Bitters, which also overcomes their allies—constipation and biliousness. This popular remedy fortifies those who use it aguiust malaria, chronic rheumatism and kidney complaint, restores nervous quietude and promotes appetite, vigor and sleep. '««"/"." "!7' r i"; Dl: " 11 lur I'reo symptom blanks. Of- «ce Capital Iim.BhlK.. 4l«-4tli St., Den MulmVb, la. THe Best Waterproof Coat in the WORLD J TlieFISttBKAND SLICKER Is warranted water- puo 'iS"jljriUkccp you dry la thu hardeststorm. The pw T>nMlWK-r. .fil Inu" 171> I.. „ -A..,...* ..1.11.... i i resorm. e new POMMEL SUCKEll Is a perfect riuinir coat, and coversinoentiregaddle. Bawnreaflmltatlons, Don't my a coat If tho " SV'"Uranrt" Is not on It. Illiisti-a ted Catalogue IVi-B. A. J. TOWKK, I'.oslnn, Cheap Homes! Colorado. the Rocky ' In San . Luis Valley, The Garden Spot of Mountains.... 00.000 aoros of line land, all under Dm-class irri Si , Huff cuiwls, vitli r erpetu»I water riBbta tor sale cheap, 6 years liW!l) por cent iVterest.' Grains, Grasses and Vegetables Grow Here to Perfection. * Trying to Keduno Expense*. Husband—Tins book says that walking- is not sufficient exercise, and that arm exercise is 'too much neglected. So your idea that you get exercise enough trotting- around shopping, while hired servants are doing the housework, is all nonsense. Why not discharge the servants, my dear? Your health really needs--arm exercise, you know. Wife—Does it? Very well. Here after, when shopping, I'll buy more and carry home the bundles. Nothing Lent. Mrs. Youugwife—A friend has sent me a basket of quinces, and I don't know how to use them. Mrs. Oldwife—Nothing is simpler. Pare and core them, make preserves oi the best pieces, marmalade of the others, and jelly of the cores and peelings. . . : Mrs. Young-wife—Well, 1 declare! And 1 what shall 1 make of the basket they came in. Sliort-Uvcil Pride. Little Miss Muggs—My papa and mamma went to the. World's Fair. Yours didn't. ^ Little Miss Freckles—No, mine uidu't, an' when Christmas comes you'll wish yours didn't. might for a Hooping Her at Home. Wife—Don't you think you manage to keep house alone week, while I go off on a visit? Husband—I guess so; yes, of course, "But won't you lie lonely and miserable?" "Not a bit." "Huh! Then I won't o-o." They linth Knew. full information, address 4AMES A. KELLY & CO,, Agents, Colorado Valley Land Co ,, _ MONTE VISTA. CQLQ. Taking Things KHBV. 's Cream Balm Cleanses the Piissq,g«!), Allays Pjiln , tlic Hnuau ot Tasto oMil Smell, JUeiil* the Soros. Apply Bjtajlatoeacti no»trU. W tm-, M. W»rtc« «., |. y. $22.50 Uo. 5S * ft-oin Uui-t'l»r B and Or The Automatic Clothes TBKE8 imrt V-l US pjfvo-its Missionary—My dear brother. 1 hope •oil endure the restraints that are 'laced upon you here in a, manner iut- >ued with voih maekuej-s and repeut- nce. Liyhl-lins-ered Mike—Oh, yes,! i Ulws take t'ngs fts dey comes. Smart Nephew—Yo' can't read notli- in', Uncle Kph'm: dat sign it say "Meals in de pot!" I guess I kin read. Uncle Ephrahn—(Jo 'way, now—I done read dat fo' yo 1 did, Ob eo'se it say "Meals in de pot," but what I wants to know is, wha' am de pot 1 . 1 " End of the Century. Father—The teacher says that you don't half learn your lessons. Little Hoy—Yes, sir. You see the teacher said if I studied hard 1 might grow up to be a great man. "pf course. D on: t you want to be a reat man?" "|luh! And get shot ut by all th' cranks that's runniu' around loose? Not much." '.-•' ' Afr;»i,( to I'lity. S^rst Hoy— Let's play golf. Second lioy—How? F|rst Jioy—I never saw it played, but J'vij read about it. You have to coax a ball along- a j-oul for u couple of mile*., and every now and then knock it into a hole. Second Hoy—Guess I don't care to play golf. I'm afraid wo raighv got over by u •* ' _ Women may be the weaker vessel, but it's always thu husband that's broke. . 1,213 IJUSHKLS ONIONS TMCll ACKE Uo you want fine vegetables just twenty days ahead of your neighbors? If so, send .Si for Salx.er's 3;i packages earliest vegetable novelties.(sufficient for u. family). His seeds are Northern grown, extremely early, enormouslv productive. Think of it! 11. Bey, California, grew 1, 313 bushels onions from Salzer's seed per acre: How? That ib the secret which Malzer imparts to all who Iniy his onion seed. He offers n cabbage ripening in sixty days; a pea in forty; a new tomato, the Ferris Wheel, measuring two feet in circumference, and many other remarkable sorts of small fruits, flower and vegetable seeds, potatoes, farm seeds, etc. If Von IVtll Cut ThU Out mid Send It With 20c to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., you will receive their mammoth catalogue aud u package of Ferris Wheel Tomato w To oujoy a warm spring sit, on a hot Hat- Iron placed ou a chair by your wife. Sohlffraann'H -lnfliimv (jure Instantly relieves tho most violent attack facilitates /roeexpootorutiuti and insures" rest to those otherwise unable to sloen except in a chair, us a single trial will prove, seud for a freo trial pacify to Dr. H. .Sohirrmuim, St. Paul, Minn., but ask your drugglm first. "'A man or woman is never much better thnn his or her reputation. No Safer Hemecly can~be had for Coughs and Colds, or any trouble of the JLlirout, than "Jirown'n llroiu-ldal Troches." L nco 25 cts. Sold anl(i In bom, When a friend turns out U)~be 11 trump it is time to discard him. Scurvy and scorbutic affections, pimples and blotches on the skin are caused bv impure blood, which Beeelmm'ti Pills cure. The man who "itches forfumo" fs usual!v kept Bcrutching._ ^ J ilcltestiir Spaillnsr UiKim uu v. 10 otuer c-uluiuii. If some people who imagine thBv are in the swim would open their eyes th'ey would sffe that they are m the soup. byjhvu^ftistn. Common sense is simply the sonse tlmt loes not (intjiquarejpegs into round holes. The I'li/./.U; Solx-oU. i •?9 I '\ lf l.V SIloIo ™ 1 . llis eaBohnspuz?.lerl and balllKd the intMhcal profession more than nasal catarrh. \Vhilo not immediately fatal it is amoiiK llio most nauseous and disgusting ills the flesh is heir to, and the records show very few or no cases of radical cure ot chronic catarrh by any of the many moiles of treatment until the introduction of lily's Cream Balm u few yearn ago. 1 lio success of.this preparation has been most gratifying and .surprising. A pessimist is ono ,wbo is >liappy only when he is miserable. y MA SOU UNITIES. Brown—Which; is the best position in which to sleep? Jones—Ori the police force. Albewy A. Whitman, William H. A. Moore and Paul Duabar are negro. writers of highly-praised a verse to Chicago. She—Do yon love me for myseldf alone? He—Yes, and whet* We're married I don't want any pf the family- thrown in. Marvelous memory that man Green- has!'' "Yes, indeed. He can remember anything he wants to, no matter- if it never happened." More than 50,000,000 pounds of cheto-r ing tobacco are -made every year in St. Louis, which claims to be th& greatest manufacturing center of tobacco in the world. Mlfloli'* ConiiuulpUoit Cure Issoliloiin. Riinruntw. It i-urcs Iiiclplont Cmismim. lion. 11. to rtro hoatUougU Curo. 2S.cts;,OOcla. & 91.00. He who wears a solitaire "diamond ring is often partially Jeft-uanded^ -ilnilHon's niugrto Corn Salv«." . your Tilings done simply from a sense of duty arc seldom done well. t>O«*8 Coil (III /R t he olilcst. aii'l best. ' cr than anything elso. The man who knows Lhe most. Jt. will break up aColil quick- It Is al ways ruliablo. Try It. tho least shows it # LOSS or POWER and Manly Vigor, Nervona Debility, Paralysis, or Batejr, Organic Weakness and wasting Drains upon the system. raault- ing in dullness of mental Faculties, Impaired Memory, Low- Spirits, Morose or Irritable Temper, fear of impendingcalamity, and a thousand and one derangements of both body and mind! result from pernicious secret pacticcs, often indulged in by the young, through ignorance off their ruinous consequences, ite- reach, re-claim and restore such. unfortunates to health and happiness, is the aim of an aaooci- ation of medical gentlemen whf> . - havepreparodabook.writteam plain but chaste language, treating of t&G nature, symptoms and curability, by born* treatment, of such diseases. The WorldVl Dispensary Medical Association, Proprietor* of the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute. Buffalo,-N. .Y.,-will, on receipt of thJs notice!, with 10 cents (in stamps for postage) mail, sealed in plain envelope, a copy of this useful book. It should be read by every young- man, parent and guardian in the land. • Consumptives and people] 1 who have wenfc lunpaor Astb-1 I ma, should use FIDO'S Cure for I Consumption. It lias cared I thousand*. Hhns notlniur- 1 oil one. It la not bad to take. [His tbo baoi, cough nyi-up. 1 Sold ovorrwhern. «Sc. Tho man who is standing up for yon soon gets tired and sits down. Esppcially for Farmers, Miners, it R. Hands and others. Double sole ex- tond,,, ff down to the heel. EXTRA WEARING QUALITY Thousands of Rubber Boot wearers testify this is the best they em'had _5l* If ?!!.' _'!* -I*!?!!!. am ^ tloi1 ' t be persuaded into an inferior article. G UT THIS OUT aniUenclltwltnOopostageand Beta B »W>l6of our'-OetleisEii" Kadlsl.. lit for uso In 18 " and our Mammoth Farm Seed Catalogue'; or Wo for outa- ' f"lfifi» i »,SftJ 1 . 1 l lIcs : 0 >'l : iel > orcatoloBUOBi 1 ai3 g the largest growers of farm . i'ti.. In America. W I a s snil clover um Young: Wives^. WHO ARE FOR THE FIRST TIME TO UNDERGO WOMAN'S SEVEREST TRIAL, WE OFFER "flothers' Friend" A remedy which, if used as directed a few weeks before confinement, robs it of its Pain, Horror and Risk to Life of both mother and child, as thousands who have used it testify. " I used two bottles of •MOTHERS'' F* Book to Mothers mailed free confining voluntary testimonials. vasssf^^tsss^^^ssfi^.^ Caij Uo iua.de worklii" for US. I'ui'lk-n pi efrri tM ttbi nan (urnlsUu uon>« (iuU trin el tlu'ounh (Uu s -t,T' v " Atf ^fWj ^JT ^ "u * jut WALTER BAKER & CO* COGOA and CHOGOUTE: Highest Awards (ftlL'(j&ifj ftnii ^ipIoiDB4) World's Columbian' Exposition, BREAKFAST COCO*, fWMttlM So, 1 CUOCOliTK, (IKBBM SWEET CBO V4SIUA CUOCOIATU, ' BDTIJiK, lonu even cuuijiosltioii.'' 801-O BY WALTER BAKER \v.:. . , „„ Is custom work," V^.«J B J |0, lit-sl value fat Ilic in lh« world. Name an,| kKiaiuped on the bottom l>.ip«» for ...... of our coni] unc* for ludief and Kt«. llLiiiva or s«nd fyi" j(, , \t«*tr«tf<i Gulaletnif - - i - -

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