The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on January 10, 1894 · Page 6
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, January 10, 1894
Page 6
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MS M01NE& ALGONA, ' O, L89, Turn-- - ------- •-"- :tefc.tALMAGE ABOUt t1«ilv*Tlh|t *hfr«o f li rtttrt Ttftt Thottiifttiil I.IM«V«* <«f t».Ui« HuliRify Ones of ttrooklyn th« pivlfif UlvM Somo Oootl A«l*lce- and "Ye finooKTA'J*, N, Y., ,luu. 7, -JSiM.— It •Seemed appropriate that Dr. Tulmuge sihotttd r reach this sermon after liis personal contribution of 'M'OO founds of meat and 2,000 loaves of bread to the poor who gathered shivering in the cold avonnd the bnkcry and meat store of Urooklyu, where the food WHS distributed without tickets,, and no recommendation required except hunger. Tho. text was: Matthew 'M: ii: "Yc have the. poor always with you.'' Who said that'. 1 The Christ who iicvcc owned anything during his earthly stay. His crndlc and his grave, were borrowed. Every fig be ate. was fl-om some one else's tree. Every drop of water he drank was from .some one else's well. To pay his personal tax, •which was very small, only thirty-one. «nd si qiinrtf.r cents, ho had to perform a. miracle und make a fish pay it. All the hcightsauddepthsund lengths anil "breadths of poverty Christ measured in his earthly experience, and when he comes to speak of destitution, heal•ways speaks sympathetically, •what, he wiid then is as true now: liave the poor always with you." For (l.OOO years the bread question lias been the active, anil absorbing question. Witness Ih« people, crowding up to Joseph's storehouse in Kgypt. Witness the famine in Samnria and ."Jerusalem. Witness the 7,000 hungry -people for whom Christ imiltiplied the loaves. Witness the ureotmtcd millions of j-cople now living, who. I believe, have never yet had one full meal of healthful and nutritious food in nil their lives. Think of the :i.11 great famines in Jingl*ml- Think of the ai.OO'O.- 000 people under the hoof of hunger year before last in Uussiu. The fail- tire of the Nile to overflow for seven years in the eleventh century left those regions-depopulated. Plague of insects in England. Plague, of rats in Madras presidency. Phigne of mice in Kssox. Plague of locusts in China. Plague of grasshoppers in America. Devastation wrought by drought, by <leluge.''by' frost, by war. by hurricane, by otirthf(uakc. by comets Hying too near the earth, by change in the. management of national finance.'*, by baleful causes innumerable. 1 proceed to give you three or four reasons why my text is markedly arid graphically true in this year twii-l. The first, rcai:on we have always tho poor with because of the perpetual •tlitt earth, all good doctors. but their •treatment of oui-ilanguSahitttf nuances is so different that neither treatment has a fnlt opportunity, and under the constan fc changes it to simply wonderful that the nation still lives. The tariff question will never be settled because of the fact, Svhlch T have never heard any onerccoffnixe.but, nevertheless, the 'fact, that high tariff is best , for some people and free trade is best for others. This _ tar- irtlc controversy keeps business struck through with uncertainty, and that uncertainty results in poverty and wretchedness for a vast multitude of people. If the eternal jrnb on this ..subject could have been fashioned into loaves of bread, there would not be a hungry man or woman or child on all the planet. To the end of time, the words of the text will be kept true by the tarilllc controversy. "Ye have the poor always with you." Another cause of perpetual poverty | is the. cause alcoholic. The victim does | not last long. He soon crouches into tlio drunkard's gni vc. Itnt what about his wife and children? She takes in washing-, when she. can get it, or goes out working" on small wages, because sorrow and. privation have left her incapacitated to do a, strong woman's at the last minute, and then go to heaven and live iu a mansion, and go riding about in a golden chariot over the golden streets, while his wife and children. Whom he might have provided for, arc begging for cold victuals at the basement door of an earthly city. It .seems to me there ought to be a poorhousc somewhere on the outskirts of heaven, where those guilty of such improvidence should be kept for a while on thin soup and gristle, hi-' irk. The children thin-blooded the way. hood or and gaunt and pale and weak, _ standing ar.mnd in cold rooms, or pitching pennies on the street corner, and munching a slice, of unbiit.tcred bread when they can get it, sworn at by passers-by because they do not get out of kicked onward toward man- womanhood, for which they have no preparation, except a. depraved appetite and frail constitution, candidates for alms-house and penitentiary. Whatever other causes of poverty may fail, the saloon may be depended on to furnish an ever-increasing throng of paupers. Oh. yc grog-shops of Urooklyu and Xew York and of all the. cities! Ye mouths of hell:.when will ye cease to craunch and devour? There is no danger of this liquor business failing. All other styles of business at times fail. Dry goods stores go under. Hardware stores go under, (iroccry stores go under, llarness- makers fail, 'druggists fail, .bankers fail, butchers fail, bakers fail, confectioners fail, but the liquor dealers never. It is the only secure, business I know of. Why the permanence of the. alcoholic trade.'. 1 I'.eeausc, iu the first place, the men in that business, if tight up for money, only have to put into large quantities of water more, strychnine and logwood and mix vomiea and vitriol and other congenial concomitants for adulteration. One quart, of the real genuine pan- demoniac elixir will do to mix up with several gallons of milder damnation. I'.csidc that, these, dealers can depend on an increase of demand on the part of their customers. The more of that stead of sitting down at the king's banquet. It is said that the church is a divine institution and I believe it, .lust as certainly arc the savings banks and the life insurance companies divine, institutions. As out of evil good often comes, so out of the. doctrine of probabilities, calculated by Prof. I Ilia-ens and Prof. Pascal for games of chance, came the calculation of the probabilities of human life as used by life insurance companies, and no business on earth is more, stable or honorable, and no mightier mercy for the human race has been born since Christ was born. Hored beyond endurance for my signature to papers of all sorts, ,there is one style of paper that .1 always sign wi-th a feeling of gladness and triumph, and that is a paper which the life, insurance company requires from the in his congregation, in order to the payment of the policy to the. bereft household. I always write niv name then so they can read it. 1 can not helpbut say to myself: "Good for that man to'have looked after his wife and children after earthly departure. May ho have one of the, best seats in heaven!'' Young man! The day before or the day after you get married, go to a life insurance company of established reputation and get flic medical examiner to put the stethoscope, to your lungs and his car close up (o your heart, with your vest oft, and have signed, scaled ami delivered to you a document that will, i ii. ca sc of ..your sudden dcpu rtu re,, make for that lovely girl the'difference between a queen and a pauper, lhavc known men who have had an income of »:!,000, tf'1,000, Si.-),000 a year, who did not leave one farthing to the surviving household. Xpw that man's death is a defalcation, an outrage, a swindle. He did not die; he absconded. There arc a hundred thousand people in America, to-day a-hungcrcd through the, sin of improvidence. ''Hut.'' say | some, "my income is so small I can not afford to pay the -premium on a life insurance.'' Arc you sure about then you have the promise in 1 r IT 1 » rr, . , T lll~ I II- II T IITIII II II I. I. I, -- . out west, where the foundation ot the) pol.'c'eft are written. This one I have I WHY HANK_WA_TJ_ first house has not yet been laid. They j just shown you is written in only one^ shy, '-Whftt aiY opportunity!" anH they j Iriml'of ink, .and that, red' ink, Jjhe put down'the hard cash for an orn-a-i blond Of tho cross. »los»ed be ftod, mcntcd deed for ten lots under water I that Is u "paid up policy,"' paid for by Thev hear of a now silver mine opened > thf pangs of the Son of (iod. and ay stuff they , the overhauling of the tariff question, <rr. us 1 shall call it. the tariflits controversy. There is a need for such a word and so I take the responsibility •of manufacturing it. There arc millions of people who arc expecting that the present congress of the 1'nited .Suites will do something one way or the other to end this discussion. Cut it will never end. When I was five years of age I remember hearing my father and his neighbors in vehement discussion of this very question. It wa.s high tariff en 1 low tariff or no tariff 'sit all. When your great-graml- .tilnld dies at W years of age, it will . i - . iriiiiixj'in'iijjviix'ni^tti.i'.i^ 1 '**** »•»!»»•» •probably be from over-exertion in rim- j |(u|l llu . Ol . cssi()11 ls ,„..„,,.,, ,, y cussing the tariff. On the day the. ( n()W .. lllo(vl , c . ll . nol . vt ...shattcre,l. rlu- world is destroyed, there will be three thirstier they arc. Hard times, which stop other businesses, only .increase that business, for men go'there to drown their (.roubles. 'I.'hey take the spirits down to keep their spirits up. There is an inclined plane down which alcoholism slides Its victims. , Claret, champagne, port cognac, whisky. Tom and .lorry, sour mash. on and down until it is a sort of mixture of kerosene oil, turpentine, toadstools, swill, essence of the horse blankets and general nastiness. With its red sword of flame, that liquor power marshals its procession, and they move on in ranks long enough to girdle the earth, the that'. 1 If yon arc sure, a right to depend on Jeremiah. verse: preserve widows trust in me." able to. remember you to ask (lotl to do for your household that which you can do for them yourself. KOI- the benefit of those young men, excuse a practical personality. in'Nevada,' and they say, "What ;i cfhaucc!"aud they take the little money they have in the, savings bank and pay it out for aS beautiful a certificate of mining stock as was ever printed, and the only thing they will ever get out of the' investment is the aforesaid illuminated lithograph. They are always on the verge of iriillioniiiredom, and nre sometimes worried as to whom they shall bequeath their excess of fortune. They invest in aerial machines, or new inventions in perpetual motion, and they succeed in whatinathematicians think impossible, the squaring of a circle, for they do everything on the, square and win tho whole circle of disappointment. They good, honest, brilliant failures. They die. poor, and leave nothing to their families but a model of some invention that would not work, and whole portfolios of diagrams of things impossible. 1 can not help but like them, because they arc so cheerful with great expectations. Hut their children arc a bequest to the Bureau of City Charities. Others administer to the crop of the world's misfortune by being too unsuspecting, floncst themselves, they belief all others are. honest. They arc tleeccd and scalped and vivisected by the. sharpers in all styles of business, and cheated out of everything between cradle and grave, and those, two exceptions only because they have nothing to do in buying either of them. Others arc retained for niisfortunc by inoppotnne sickness. .lust as that lawyer was to make the plea that would have put him among the strong men of the profession, neuralgia stung him. .lust as that physician was to prove his skill in an epidemic, his own poor health imprisoned him. .lust as that merchant must be at the store for some decisive and introductory _bitr- ginn, he sits with a- rheumatic joint On a pillow, the, room redolent with liniment. What an overwhelming stt'.t'stic would be the story of men and womcil'and children impoverished by sicknesses. Then the cyclones. Then the. . Mississippi and Ohio freshets. Then the stopping of the. factories. Then the . curculios among the peach trees. Then the in- sectilt; devastation of potato patches and wheat fields. Then the epix.ootics among the horses and the hollow horn among the herds. Then the rains that drown out everything and the droughts that burn up half a continent. Then the orange groves die under the white teeth of the hour n'dd to it in the way of our own good deeds will augment the sum of eternal felicities. Yes, the time will come when the banks of largest capital stock will all go down.and the fire insurance companies will nil go down.and the life insurance companies wilt all go down. In the last great earthquake all the cities will be prostrated, and as a consequence all banks will forever suspend payment. In the last conflagration the fire insurance companies of the earth will, for how could they make appraisement of the loss on a universal fire'. 1 Then all the inhabitants of the round world will surrender their mortal existence, and how could life insurance companies pay for depopulated hemispheres? .Hut our Celestial life insurance will not be harmed by that continental wreck, or that hemispheric accident; or that planetary catastrophe. Mlow it out like a candle—the noon-clay sun! Tear it down like worn-out upholstery—the. last sunset! Toss it from Cod's finger like a dewdrop from the anther of a water-lil.i—the ocean! Scatter them like thistledown before a schoolboy's breath—the worlds! That will not disturb the omnipotence or the composure or the sympathy or the love of that Christ who said it once on earth, and will say it again in heaven to all those who 'have been helpful to the downtrodden and the cold and the hungry and the houseless and the lost: ".Inasmuch as ye did it to them, yc did it to me!" OUT OF THE ORDINARY. Edward Willis aslccd .Inlit Williams, near Augusta, tia.. to help him catch a chicken. She taunted him with being too la/.y to catch it himself, and •Ilith chapter. Leave thy fatherless children, I will | them alive, and let thy | !ut if you are. j |',. ()st- Then the coal strikes and the have no right i j ron strikes and the mechanics'strikes, which all strike labor harder than they strike capital. Them tho yellow lever at Brunswick and .Inckson- , beginning my life's work on the munificent-salary of ffSOd a year and a parsonage. and when the call was placed in my hands, 1 did not know how hi the 'world 1 would ever be able to j ', i spend that amount of money, and 1 re- ' ' member indulging in a devout wish ! that I might not be led into worldli- j ness and prodigality by such an over- ; plus of resources, and at a time, when I articles of food and clothing wen: : higher than they are now. I felt it. a i religions duty to get my life insured. | and I presented myself at an office one of the great companies, and ville and Shrcvcport. Then the cholera at the Narrows, threatening to inen. standing on the postoHice steps-one a high tariff man, another a low •tariff man. and the other a free tariff nnan — each one red in the face ii-om excited argument on this /subject. Other questions may get •quieted, the Mormon question, the sil- "-ver question, the pension question, the -civil service question. All questions of annexation may come to peaceful >.ott lenient by the annexation of isl- .ands two weeks voyage away and the beat of their volcanoes conveyed •through pipes under the sea made useful in warming our continent, or annexation of the moon, dethroning the .queen of night, who is said to be dissolute, and bringing the lunar populations under the influence of our free institutions; yea all other questions, national and international, may be .hettled, but this tarinic question, never. Jt will not only never be. settled, but :it can never be moderately quiet for .more than three years at a time, cuch party getting into power taking one of -J,lm four years to fix it up. and then the. next party will fix it down. Our finances cannot get well because ,<if too many doctors. U is •with nick nations as with sick iu- .dividuals. Here is a man terribly disordered as to his body. A doctor is .called in, and lie administers u febrifuge, a spoonful every hour. Hut re- -covery it> postponed, and the anxious friends call in another doctor, and Jiiihays: "What this patient needs is •bipod letting; now roll up your ,-slcuve!" and the lancet flashes. Hut .Mill recovery is postponed, und a homeopathic doctor is called in, and be .administers some small pellets, and .jjayb; "All the patient wants is rust." Kecovery btill postponed, the family ,»ay that such small pellets can not " .amount to much anyhow, and an ullo- ,pathic doctor is called in, and he says: ••What this patieut wants is calomel .and jalap." Hecovery still postponed, ,u Jiydropathic doctor,.is culled in, and lie hays: "What this patiept wants is hot »nd co!4 baths, and he uuust havs j,ljuiu right away. Turn on the faucet u'n4 got ready the ehowcr baths." JU'coverv Still postponed, an eclectic 4»4itor is (jailed iu. and he brings '.yll tlui bcUopls to bear upou the uupr butt'urer, and the patient, after a, struggle for life, empires. What him? Too many doctors. eyed, lip-bloated, soiil-seorehed inebriates, followed by the women, who, though brought up in comfortable homes, now go limping past, with aches and pains and pallor and hunger and woe. followed by their children, bare- fool. uncombed. I'ree/.iug, and with a wretchedness of time and eternity slood pale and nervous lest the medical examiner might have todcclarc that 1 had consumption and heart disease ami a half do/en mortal ailments; but, when I got the document, which I have yet, in full force. I felt, a sense of manliness and confidence and quietude and reinforcement, which is a good thing for any young man to have, the lack of that feeling then New York. Then the Charleston earthquake. Then the Johnstown Hood. Then hurricanes sweeping from Caribbean Sea to Newfoundland. Then there arc the great monopolies that gully the earth with their oppressions. Then then? are the necessities of buying coal by the- seutlle instead of the ton. and flour by the. pound instead of the barrel, and so the injustices arc multiplied. In the wake of all these arc overwhelming illustrations of the >f j truth of my text: "Ye have the poor ' ' always with you." seemingly compressed in their agoni/.cd ,- , feature*.' "I-', rward. march!" eriosthe- I men to-day^n I, reon* ood liquor business to tlu.t army without ^n'l l.anivl 11:11 and .Mount Auburn, the othc, 1 , , i ii>lii.1tllll'MI'l<\\'|1 banners. Keep that influence, moving | on and you will have the poor always ' with you. lleport comes from one of the cities, whore I he majority of the inhabitants are out, of work and dependent on charity, yet last year they spent more in that city for rum than they did for clothing and groceries. Another warranty that my text wi M|)))im . ( .„,,,. They got a little sick, so worried about what would heroine t of their households in case of jlheir demise that their agita- \ lions overcame the skill of the physicians and they died for ! fear of dying. 1 have for many years i been such an ardent advocate of lift; in- provetrnc in the perpetual poverty of I Mlnim . t , |im d my wrmon on "The Crime, the world is Ihc wicked spirit of yn- j ()| . n()t | nsm .j n ,,-" | )II!S boon .--o long providence. A vast number of people i )sf , ([ ()J) , linh s . (lps ,,,• , lu . s(J a by Ihc have suc.h small income that they can t .|,i ( ,f )jf c insurance companies that not lay by in savings bunk 01 life hi- L ()lm , )u .oplc have supposed that I re- durance one cent a year. It takes j every farthing tht! table and they can earn to spread clothe the family and oeivcd monetary compensation for what 1 have said anil written, penny. 1 will give any man educate the children, anil if you blame | (ll . c ,,|',i,,|i ;irs f or ovcry penny I have ro- such people, for improvidence, you en- j C( . h . ( , a 1Vum .,„,. jjfi.- insurance coin- act a cruelty. On such a salary as j lv What I have said and written many clerks and employees and many ] m] ^ 1() .,,,1,],,^ ] l ., s r ,, M iHed from the ministers of religion live, and on such ] 1 . flllvil , t i, 1Il ' l } lilt these, institutions arc a lint wages as many workmen receive, they ! l)( . m , ( | k . li()I ,' tl) the human can not, in twenty years, lay up 1 a ,. |S ,. (U . tm . w ide-spread improvidence'! insurance twenty cents. Hut you know and I , Vm) . m . m)W 5|1 y(ml . (,],.,,.,f u . s helping know many who have competent in- j tfj M( t t .| u ." f H milit>.s of men who come and could provide somewhat for | h . (<1 num . im , omo thlin vml nmv i liiv e. the future, who live up every dollar, j (u . uypi . , 1UV() h . 1(l m . ' l . vl . r wiu have! and when they die,their children go to I (1 vim ^^ (k , 1)(m(l tm the improvi- the poor house or on the street. Uy the ] (U>IK ;,. of ,, mny f()1 . t ] lc truth of my text time the wife gets the husband buried, | . (i a]l Um( . s an(l in a n places: "Ye have liomciubcr a fact, that no one empha- sises, a fact, nevertheless, upon which I want to put the. weight of an eternity of tonnage, that the best way of 1 insuring yonr.>olf and your children | and your grandchildren against poverty I and all other troubles is by helping I others. I am an agent of the oldest, 1 insurant:.' company that was over established. It is near three thousand years old. It has the advantage of all luns of insurance; Whole y. Knilowmcnt, .loint-Life their families, j iull i Survivorship Policies, Ascending and they were | !m tl Descending Scales of Premium,ami Tontine, and it pays up while you live and it pays up after you urodeud. Kvcry cent von give in a Christian 'spirit to a poor m:in or woman, every shoe you give to a bare foot, every stick of wood or lump of coal you give, ton tireless hearth, ovcry drop of medicine you give to a poor invalid, every star of hope you make to shine over unfortunate maternity, every mitten you knit for cold lingers, is a payment on the premium of that policy. I hand about live hundred million policies to all who will go forth and aid the unfortunate. There are only two or throe linos in this policy of life insurance. Psalms II: i, "Itlosscd is ho that consiilercth the poor: tho Lord will deliver him in time of trouble." Other life insurance companies may fail, but this Celestial life ing his family upon thecharitiesol'llic landed C'ayli&le and world. Uo not send for me to come and conduct the obsequies and read over such 'A carcass the beautiful liturgy: "Hlesscd arc the dead who die in'the Lord." for, instead of: that, 1 wili turn over the leaves of the bible to First Timothy, r>th chapter, IMh inunily and find gootl people with more than usual mental caliber, who never have been able to support themselves and their households, a mystery to us. and we say: company never. The Lord (lotl Almighty is at the head of it. and all llu; angels of heaven arc in its hoard of direction, and its assets arc all worlds, and all the charitable of earth and heaven arc the benetioi- ' arics. "I'.nt." says some, one, "1 do not ! like a Tontine policy so welt, and that which you offer is more like, a Tontine and to bo chiony paid in this life." ••lilo.ssctl is he that considereth the ioor: the. Lord will deliver him in linn: of trouble." Well, if you prefer the old-fashioned policy of life insurance, which is not paid till after death, you can bo accommodated. That They are. j will bc'given you in "the day of judg- "I do not ! went, and will be handed you by the he shot ami killed her. Mrs, K. M. Denny of Ashland. Ore., who labored zealously for the Jewish relief fund, received from Jerusalem the other day a living rose tree, which traveled II,6(J(i miles in a condensed milk tMvu, In Holland women and persons of either sex under the age of sixteen are now forbidden to begin worlv c'arlier than 5 a. m., or to continue at, work after 7 p. m., nor can their w»rk exceed eleven hours a. day in all. A silk handkerchief was the menus of saving the'life of Chinaman Charlie Sing at New Haven, Conn. Sing was shot at by a fellow countryman, the bullet striking a handkerchief in his j-.ooket. and glanced oft' to one side. The old wooden ships arc rapidly being reimw.d fro n the United States navy! The IVjncaster ami Alliance arc the two latest to bo called in. The. Marion, Mohican. Adams and Vantic are, however, still in service. Miss Sarah Freeman Clark has donated to thi! town of Marietta, Oa.. a library building, in addition to '1,000 volumes. The, building is a miniature reproduction of the groat circulating library building t.« tlie I'.ritish museum. The booty promised the British soldiers in their war agn/nst Lobengula was, for each soldier, a farm of il.OOl) acres and twenty gold claims in Mata- belolaticl. The gold claims entitle the holders t:> prospect, a strip 8,01)0 ftujt in length and !M> in bi-eadth. In India, there arc more married women, in proportion to the population, than in any oilier country. Of women between fifteen and forty years of age eighty-four per ci lit arc married. In Kurope, with the exception of Hungary, the percentage is only forty. D. K. Hostwick's clothes were caught, in a shaft, at the New Hriirhton. I'a., hollow ware works. 11 ; was whirled around so rapidly that t'u» eye could scarcely follow him fora minute, and then tiling to th« floor, stripped of every stitch of clothing. One arm was broken and one shoulder dislocated. A broomstick and a bucket Iviil wort) the, imiilumi'iiti iv->cd by Andrew Johnson, a ei'imimil in the jail at (Jranlsbnrg, Wis., in hanging himself. He placed the broomstick across the vontilatur of his co'l, tied one end of a pillow case, to it, made th.-i other .Mill fast to the bucket bail that, ho had fastened about his neck, and then dropped ami slowly strangled to death. It may not bo. known to the general rentier, s-iy-, a mudical journal, that a rifle bull deflected from its course im- metliiitidy resumes ils lino of flight after rimming the object it is unable In puss directly through. That is to say. a ball turned from its eourio by a i-ib, p.isso-s under tlu-. skin until it reaches a, point inatUssmatically opposite t-.i the point, where it entered Ihc soldier's body, anil then passes out, resuming- its exact line of flight, it enough of its initial velocity remains. King Oscar of S.vedcn onoo. passad through a little town, which was festively decorated for the occasion. Among the r.rst. u liiig-J transparency affixed to a gloomy looking editi'.-o, attracted his attention. It born the. inscription: ''Welcome to Your Majesty!'' in gigantic characters. "Whal building- is that'. 1 " the king, inquired. "Thatis the country prison, your majesty," reiilic:! one of flic aldermen. The king lau^'r.-d, and was hoard to obsisrve: '-That is carrying matters a little too far!' ISucUiueliam Pulare l)nlnlittl>it;«l>le. So serious have bemi the discoveries in connection with the sanitary condition of Huckiuyham' palace that tlie Oi* tlin-lnff ik lillMl Mill-null/ •fhp.v fconldn't supply It- When Jtank Taylor was put oft trial at Strawberry Hill for killing Stove Brown, &ays the Anao.omla, Mont,, Standard, ho pleaded guilty, sllid iu a litllo spoecth to the cfo#d he said: "In course you'll hang ww. I expect it, and shall ho disappointed if you don't. But I want it understood right, now that I hev rights." ••What be them rights, prisoner?" queried Hill Tottcn, who was Kclinjf as judge. ••Waal, I. want to be hung with A now rope. I was brought up respectably and 1 want to die that way. Then I want to wear a biled. shirt 1 was brtnig up to wear btlcd shirts, and I don t want to disgrace thd fam'ly. I want to bo shaved,,to have my hair combed and parted in.tha middle, and.I insist on Zeko Cooper lendin' me his new butes. That's it.y rights, and I shall insist on 'em." '•'Prisoner, han't you just a littlo too pai'lik'lar?" inquired the judge. "Han't it puUin' this 'ero camp to a good deal ot extra trouble for no real benefit? What 1 are we goin' to get a biled shirt, for instance;" 1 "1 dun no, but wo hev got to hev one. Do yon s'poso I'm goin' to bring up in the other world with this old red shirt on? They wouldn't allow me to stake a claim or set up a shanty." "How are you goin' to be shaved when we han't got no ra/.ors in camp? We kin furnish you some grease and a comb, but thai- can't be no shavinV "(.!ot to be." replied Hank. "I han't goin' over the divide loolcin' like a wolf with 'his winter fur on. And as fur grease, I want reg'lar bar's ile, I am bound to look just as purty ao I kin." "Xekc, will you kind him your butes' : ' :l asked tiie judge. "Naw. I could never feel easy in 'em agin." "Then I don't hang-!" retorted tlie prisoner. "Mind you. boys, I han't denying that I killed Steve, whom everybody knows was a provokiri', cantankerous cuss and drier been killed long ago, and I han't kickin'as to what will follow. I'm jest sticlcin 1 out fur my rights. S'posin' any one o' you was goin' to arrive in the other world as a tenderfoot, wouldn't you wan't to look fairly.decent?" "That's so, that's so," mused the judge. "In course . it'll be known that you cum from Htrawbury Hill and in course we'll hcv a priole in h'ttin' you out in decent shape. The prisoner will be removed while wo hev a talk." We had a talk. We couldn't got a white shirt, a new rope and a razor anywhere within 1CK) miles. And, as Hank had observed, .Stove Brown was always saying mean things and provoking quarrels and wasn't much account. After discussing the pros and cons it was decided to overlook the and let up on Haute, but after telling him our decision the judge said: "But don't, do it again, Hank. It .ire the opinyun of.some of the boys ;hat you wcvo too darned particklar iboui. the bllocl. shirt, and of others that you were right about wantin' to make a decent appearance ou the other shore, and so wo decided to call it squar'. Xoxt time, however, we'll hang yon with a mule rope and in yer old duds and let yu run all the chances." Wall, boys, fix it to suit yourselves and it'll suit mo." carelessly replied the prisoner, and court was adjourned and wo returned to work. *l- iu y m<v;i y ».«» i.i*i« »» n **»«»- •-•**,_•• • .,..- ^ . know what is the matter of them, but right hand, the pierced hand ot our do in the right spirit of the poor ^HtFsUall be'burU-'u' M-it'h'tho' burial j a H"" 11 a o| an. o>i>, di-aivn und ca.->t fwth beyond ou w . and a bliqd mule j «ai, hungered aud yc guve WM.S thirsty and yc gave me drink, 1 wub a stninyer and yc took me in, naked wad ye clothed me. 1 " In va- " W Bucephalus-, niugij are quesUoa is, now being 1 discussed as to whether it can ever again be used as a royal residence. Not only is the drainaso in a .shocking- condition, which will necessitate the expenditure of a, fabulous sum to set ariyrht, "but it has also bs-on found that ono of the largrust of the main sewers of the metropolis passes immediately under the palace, aud that the gases arising •therefrom permeate the foundations of the royal abode. TUo proposal to alter 1119 course of the sower in question is declared impracticable. Itl.lC.C lil'tlSS ClIHI.S. Lord Lyturn's novel of "I'dhum" was written with the idea of counteracting the affectation of Byronlsm which wa.s then in vogue, and in this it to some dog-roc, succeeded, thou.yh only by substituting; another atl'ecta- tion, that of I'clhami.sin, in its place. ]t is oven said to have alVectod the fashion of dross, for in it Lady I'Vancos I'olham says, in a letter to her son: "Apropos of the complexion, 1 did nofc like that blue coat you wore when last. 1 saw you; you look best iu black, which is a great com- plimout, for people must bo yory distinguished in appearance to do so.' 1 Till tiH>n coats worn for evening dross wore of dilVurent colors, according to tlio fancy o!' the wearer; and tlin adoption of tho now invariable black is said to have dated from the publication of "l-'elham." .lollll liiKUi'i'< Mntllrr. Mrs. 1'uslcin had nevor any hesitation in speaking her mind. A certain clever young man was in the habit of' regaling tho company with extravagant talcs after dinner, but the old lady would throw down her knitting and exclaim: ••How can you two sit thore and listen to such a pack of lies?" When this lady of the "old school" died her son was left "with a surprising sense of loneliness." He had loved her truly, obeyed her strictly and tended her faithfully. lie buried her in his father's grave and wrote upon it: "Here, beside my father's body, I have hud my mother's; nor was dearer earth ever returned to earth, nor purer life recorded in heaven.'" l>iii Not M»Un Any DilVtn-mice. Admiral Sir Henry Keppol, while holding the post of port admiral, was coming out of tho dockyard one oven- ing, in plain clothes, when ho was roughly jostled by a sailor in liquor. Irate at no apology being offered, Sip Henry stopped the man and asked him if he knew whom bo was running' against, ."i^o; nor I dou't cave," ve- plied Jack. "I'm vSir Henry Keppel; I'm port admiral." ''Ah," said the drunken one, "damned nice billot you've got," uud staggered OB,.—r

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