The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on January 10, 1894 · Page 2
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 2

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, January 10, 1894
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TUB ; •WJBPNjgBA.Y, ' 10,,.l«B>fe tfudge- William feindsay Miflis been Chosen tJnifcecj State's senator for Kentucky by the democrats of the legisla- Jalure. The revenue cutter Corwin arrived at San Francisco from Honolulu with official dispatches, and at once proceeded to the Mare Island navy yard. At the yard interest is at a high pitch and trouble is thought to have occurred at Hawaii. Mrs. Lease has flied 'quo warranto proceeding in the superior court at Topeka against Free.born, appointed by Governor Le welling, of Kansas, as her successor on the state board ol charities. Freeborn has been ousted, temporarily at least, and Mrs. Lease holds her place on the board till the final hearing in February. Fire in the city of Toledo, O., con- mimed property worth over a million dollars. Hon. Chas. T. 0'Parrel 1 was inaugurated governor of Virginia on the 1st of January. Jackson Park, Chicago, was again opened to the public on the 1st. The grounds on that day passed from the World's Pair commissioners to the park commissioners. J. VV. Preeburn, sheriff of McPher- •son county, has been appointed by •Gov. Lewelling ot Kansas to the place which he supposed he made vacant 'when he issued an order deposing Mrs. Lease. The New York legislature convened on the 3d, and both houses were organized by the republicans. Gov. Flower, in his message, recommends that the question of the consolidation of the cities of New York and Brooklyn fce submitted to a popular vote. The governor informs the legislature that, lor the first time in more than seventy- five years, the state is out of debt. Secretary of Slate Osborne of Kansas has issued a circular advocating the passage of laws making two hours & day's work, in order to stop over-production, which, he says, is responsible for the idleness of millions. The California Mid-winter Pair was informally opened on the 1st. Mrs, Lease has secured counsel and will oppose the efforts of Gov. Lewelling to remove her from the state board of charities. In his message to the Ohio legislature, which convened on the 1st, Gov. McKinley suggests that, in view of the depressed industrial condition of the state and nation, a short session and but little legislation would bo appreciated. The Denver Evening Sun gave two tons of rabbits to the poor. John Clamors killed his brother near Elba, Ala., on account of SO cents. Prominent business-men of Akron, Ohio, are being fined for attending a chicken light. It is denied that the Oregon Navigation company will separate from the Union Pacific. England has decided to increase her navy by the addition of three powerful cruisers. Gen. Gourko, the military autocrat of Russian-Poland, is reported to be near death. A dozen society young- men of Moweaqua, 111., are under arrest charged with gambling. City Marshal Larson of Dayton, /own, who was shot in the Now Vcar's night affray there, died. At a special meeting of the trustees of the Illinois Southern hospital for the insane at Anna .Martin V. Kvans was elected treasurer. AVilliam Ilotnap, a Springfield. 111., coal miner, aged 40 years, committed suicide at his boarding-house by shooting himself. 0, A. Spreckk's' suit against Clans SpreckJes, his father, and the Hawaiian Commercial company for an accounting has been settled out of court. Another movement has been started at DCS Moines, Iowa, to raise a •John Mahin relief fund. Mahin's house, it will bo remembered, wns blown up with dynamite at Muscat'uc last suni- •<ier. Divider Its Kllui-atioiml Exhibit. AI.HANV, N. Y., Jan. 8.—The German Empire has presented to New York a portion of its educational exhibit which was at the World's Fair. The Status of Pennsylvania and Wisconsin were also remembered by the German empire and will come in for a portion of the educational exhibit. uu Ex-Sheriff, OAK, Pla., Jan. 6.—Between 9 and 10 o'clock last night ex-Sheriff Pots- damer was shot s>ix or seven times by persons concealed under a car standing' on the railroad track. Potsdamer was closing his store preparatory to going home when he was shot. Thero is no dvv to the assassins. The assignees of the W. P. Thornton & Sons bank at Shelbyville, JU., paid the flret installment of 15 per cent of the liabilities. The amount paid out was $71.000. Michael Duulevy was cut with a razor while returning from a dance at Kacine, Wis. lie is in a critical condition. He says Lpuis Pureell was the i.ssailant, tout Pureell denies it. John Moses, proprietor of the Gias- fc-uw pottery at Trenton, N- J-, offered hfe *j»ployes English wages with tha tariff of 5? P^r ,ce»t added, declined oMfo '!#» SAFE BOLD POSTOFFICE ROBBERY AT DELAVAN, WIS. th* Work"BOB* by TliriS Mft*k**l —They' Steal * i.lvory KlR nli(I K»- «i»|i*—fbOBKht to «e Chlcnft" Crftokft- •nieti—Aitiontit. i raU«n tool Known. CHICAGO. Jan. S.-r-Wovd has benn're- ceived here that three masked robbers broke into the Dclavan, Wis., postof- fice at .'t o'clock yesterday, "blew open the safe, secured nil the cash nnd stamps it contained, bound and gagged the night watchman, forced the night clerk in a livery stable to give them a horse and surrey, and then bound and gagged him and made, their escape. The robbers were nt work on tlie safe in the postoflice when Clmnncey Sage, the niglit watchman, first saw them. Foolishly he. attempted to rout them single-handed and failed. Tho marauders overpowered him and .com- tjelled him a.t the points of three revolvers to go into the ofiice, where they gagged him. bound him hand and foot, and dumped him into a corner. Then the burglars went back to their work. Sage,securely gagged and bound,heard them resume their drilling and could distinguish every motion they made. They said nothing, however, that would lead to their identification. The door was opened and the thieves pulled out everything of value in the safe. Money and stamps were quickly thrown into the ba.gs the robbers curried, the rubbish was kicked up into ti. pile in a corner and tho trio left the ofiice. Sage was able to follow the whole proceedings, but was powerless to give an alarm. He remained tied in the corner until discovered thereby Watchman Sturtevant about 0 o'clock. The robbers then proceeded to a livery stable and forced the attendant to harness a team to a surrey, and drove away. They went in the direction of Clinton Junction, which is twelve miles away. Jf they d»«ove rapidly they had time enough to get there and catch the Chicago and Northwestern train due in Chicago at 6 o'clock yesterday morning. This was before the news of the robbery hnd reached Chicago, so there was no danger of their being apprehended at the train, and they would have had plenty of time to get into hiding in the city. Of the two men who saw the robbers Utley is able to give the better description, butcven this is f n r from satisfactory. There was only a dim light burning in the .stable, and they were well inn filed up with their cups drawn down over their eyes. Sage can give almost, no dcsi-ription. They overpowered him si ml put him in another room from the one in which he was working almost before lie knew what had happened. Delavan is a town of ,-;,()()l) inhabitants, thirty-nine miles west of Western Union junction on tlie St. I'aul road and about one hundred miles from Chicago. It is a .summer resort of considerable popularity, but there would not be likely to bo any great amount of cash in the postollicc there. II. 'J'. Sharp is the uostinnsfer. Think n VORNOI Went Down. LONDON, Jan. 0.—A dispatch from Folkestone says it is feared that a large vessel has foundered near there. A lifeboat with its bottom stove in has washed ashore there. A Boon to Humanity. A number of our great and most in vetcrate tobacco smokers and chewers have quit the use of the filthy weed. The talismanic article that does tho work is No-to-bac. The reform was started by Aaron Gorbcr, who was a confirmed slave for many years to the use of tobacco. He tried tho use of No-to-bac, and to his {Treat surprise and delight it cured him. Hon. C. W. Ashcoin, who hud been smoking for sixty years, tried No-to-bac, and it cured lam. col. wiuniiei istontencr. who would cat up tobacco like a cow eats hay, tried this wonderful remedy, and even Samuel,after all his years of slavery, lost the desire. .1. C. Cobler, Lessin'g- Kvans. Frank Dell, George B. May, C. O. Skillington, Hanson Kobi- nett, Frank llershberger. .lohu Shinn and others have since tried No-to-bac and in every case they report, not only a cure of the tobacco habit, but a wonderful improvement in their general physical and mental condition, all of which goes to show that the use of tobacco had been injurious to them in more ways than one. All of the above gentlemen are so well pleased with the results that we ilo not hesitate to join them in recom mending it to suffering humanity, as we. have thoroughly investigated and are satisfied that Ko-to-bac does tho work well and is a boon to mankind. The cost is trifling—a dollar a box— and the makers, The Sterling ttcmedy company, have so much faith in No-to- bac that they absolutely guarantee three boxes to cure any case, or refund money. One box in every instance in the above, effected a cure, with one or two exceptions. No-to-bac has a wonderful sale upon its merits alone, throughout the United States, and can be secured at almost any drug store in this country or Canada,'and it is made by The Sterling- Remedy company, Chicago oftice, 4f> Randolph street; New Yprk oftice, K) Spruce street. —[From The Press, Everett, Pa., Dec. 15, 1803.] Trial Ituglug To- Day. PAU.IS, Jan. 0.— The court of cassation ha*?- rejected tho application for a postponement of the trial of the anarchist. Vaillu.nt; who threw the bomli in the chamber of deputies. His trial will, therefore, begiu to-day. Last t'luubt) of Uio Mill J'uunuil. LONDON, Jan. 0.— The seventy-first and last of the original clauses of the parish councils bill was passed by the house of commons last evening. The announcement of the fact wus received with }oud ministerial cheers BULB IS fl« ttefatet to Step fl6<tft •SAX Fiuxersco, Cat., Jnn. «.-— f he revenue cutter Corwin arrived at the •entrance of the harbor 'yesterday morning about 11 o'clock. WASHINGTON, .Tan. .».— Brief official dispatches were received last night from the Corwin, but it is stated that Minister Willis' full dispatches had not come through tip till midnight. Secretary Greslmm absented himself from, his hotel till a late hour, and the only information given out was that he decided in the afternoon not to make public any news that might come during the evening. In spite of the secrecy observed, there it- ground for believing that Minister Willis conveyed to the administration the absolute defiance of the provisional government. and that he recounted his own communication with the queen nnd with ['resident Dole. As far an can be gathered Willis did not understand that he was to await congressional a.otion, but only that he was not to call out the marines without further instructions from Washington. He went right ahead and demanded from the queen whether she would comply with the conditions. When she. agreed he communicated with the provisional govern men t and politely suggested that it go out of existence. The government declined to recog- nise any right of Minister Willis to negotiate for the restoration of the monarch. The m'inister told the queen she. would have to wait, and the minister himself is waiting to know what step he shall take next. He especially wants instructions about the relations of himself to the provisional government when it transforms itself into a republic. According to tin; few hints dropped from official sources he does not apprehend an outbreak, though tho excitement continues unabated. At least tho positive statement is rnudc that the administration does not think there was any trouble after the departure of the Corwin. The belief in Washington, io that thfi vessel brought information that tho status quo was still maintained, but the greatest interest is to. learn how the qtice-n rewired the news that the administration had done all it could for her restoration' a ml had now turned her case over to congress. THE NATIONAL TREASURY. Statement of the Assets and Ueiimixl LiiiuUIMcx VcBtnnlny. WASHINGTON, .fan. 3. — The statement of the United States treasury showing tho classified assets ol' the treasury and demand liabilities yesterday is as follows: A8SBTS. Gold coin arid bullion- .......... $IG4,!J81,6T!3 Silver dollars aui) bullion ...... ;}35,?')1,23B Silver dollars and bullicu, nut July 14, 1800 .................. ir.li.U'V'O'J Fractional silver nnd minor coin 12,717, -SO United States notes ............ 44,988,811 United Stutes treasury notes... 1.454.083 Gold certificates ............ .... 7»,730 Silver certificates ............... r>,2$0,M 4 National bank notes ............ li!, (15:3,386 Deposits with national depos itories: General account ................ 11,(H7,%4 Disbursing officers' balances. . . . 3,U5'J,8liO Total ...... ................ . . JT3»,9D5,070 r,UIUUTI!!S. Gold certificates ................ $ 77,4S7,7IJ9 Silver certificates ............... 334,710,504 United States Treasury notes. . . 158,134,151 Currency certificates ............ 39,0(35,000 Disbursing oflicers' balances, agency accounts, etc .......... 44,4011,935 Will 15o No Fight at .TnclCHonvllIo. .lACKSONYii.i.K, Via., .Inn. 8. — Tho Duvul Athletic club has run against another snag in the person of Sheriff Broward of this county. The club has been claiming all along that, despite Gov. Mitchell's opposition the fight would take place in ,'liiclcsonvillc be.- couso tho officials of tho city and county would not interfere as long as the courts had not passed on the Florida law in regard to pri/.o lights. Sheriff lii'oward in an interview declared that the club people were mistaken if they thought that ho would stand quietly by and allow the fight to takes place- in Duvul county, lie declared he would not permit it, if he had to use force to prevent it LITERARY NOTES. One of the illustrated articles in Tlic Popular Science Monthly for January is an account of "How the Soy, in Sounded," by G. W. LiUlehales, of tho United States Ilydrographic Office. Tho pictures include the modern sounding cylinder and weight, tho Sigsbee machine, and views of sounding and dredging operations. Scribncr's Magazine for January marks the beginning of the fifteenth volume. Tho first great fiction feature for the year is the serial, "John March, Southerner," by George W. Cable, the author of "Old Creole Days." This is the first long novel that Mr, Cable has published ID many years, and is a most dramatic story of the new South. The holiday number of Outing is a gem of artistic elegance, which loses none of its brightness under close inspection. Prominent features of an excellent number are: "Ivan of the Mask," by Ella Loraine Dotsey; "Following Dickens with a Camera," by Ji. 11. Uajran; "A Christmas Fox Hunt in Old Virginia," by Alex. Hunter; "Nomads of the North," by C. J. Cut- clitt'e llyne. and "In tho Land of Josephine," by Walter L. Boasley. The frontispeice in Baby laud for January is a beautiful design iu eight colors — "The Christ Child." Our Little Men and Women is tilled with Christmas good cheer aud a "Happy New Year" greeting. The illustrations are especially worthy of comment. Tho Pansy opens with au excellent chapter of "Vjra's Motto." its leaning^ story, written by that leading story- writer, Pansy, followed by it poem. "Xew Year," by 11 M. A., delicate iu U.ouyJu. The&e tiirce magazines are the works ot the P, Lothrop Ceropaoy, Boston. WftsMnfilxm, Jan. !*.—Seitator Frt presented ft resolution rfeelnrinp; that m the opinion of the senate, pending Oe investigation of <»iir relations with Hnwnli. there should be no interference pi the jUnlteu. States tiroops, by either moral or physical force, few the restoration of the queen or the maintenance of the provisional government, and that feur naval forces should ftnly be used to (protect tlie livfe and t*op- ty of Americans. The resolution was laid on the table for the time being. Executive session. Adjourned., • , uotisfc. , McOeary tried bo make «n arrangement to set aside Friday nnd Saturday next for consideration of. Hawaiian matter.' but Boutelleot Maine, called np his resolution censuring Cleveland. The democrats desired to commence debate on tariff bill, but the republicans began filibustering over Boutelle's resolution, and as the democrats could not got a quorum, adjournment was taken. SKNATE. Washington. Jan. 4.--A resolution calling on the secretory of tbe treasury for a statement of sums paid to Mr. Bleunt, na commissioner to Hawaii, and tbe orders And law under wiiich such payment was made, was offered by Mr. Hoar and on objection by Mr. Gorniwn. it, went over without action. Executive session. Adjourned untfl Monday. nonsE. Again the democrats were unaV>Ie to pro duce a quorum and the republicans; filibustered until adjournment wan taken HOUSE. Catchings. from committee on rules, presented a special order providing for a voto on tho tariff bill on January ;.'5. Filibustering again begun and the republican! •were assisted by the populists and a num ber of democrats; who nro oppoxed to tlu tariff bill. At H:5() -adjournment WHE taken. IIOUSB. Washington, .lau. li.—The republicans spent another day filibustering, iu .which they wore assisted by a number of dissatisfied democrats. The'democrats could not raise a quorum and a resolution pas.sod ordering the sergeout-at-aruis to take into custody nnd bring to tlie bar of the house such members as are absent without leave. Adjourned. NO HOPE ON GOGEBIC RANGE JMincrn Would lie OInit to Work at Any HUHI/KV, Wis., .Ian. £.—The hope that several mines on the Gogebic i-ahge would resume operations with tiumll forces of men nnd at reduced wages has not been realized. The iron business is at the lowest ebb in the history of the northern Wisconsin and Michigan mining industry, and the time when the mines will reopen is indefinite. They cannot sell the ore, so there is no use in mining it. There are no prospects that any of the other mines will resume inside of ninety davs. .... To lie Jin prisoned for Life. IVKAZiij, Ind., Jan. 0.—The ease of Ulias Owens for the murder of James Biggs.at Clay City June .'1 was given to the jury at 11 o'clock yesterday, and they remained out till 0 o'clock m the evening, when they brought in a ver- ilict of guilty in the first degree. They fixed his sentence at life imprisonment In the prison south. Tilli-d Arbitrator Appointed. CINCINNATI, Ohio, Jan. «.—- D. C. Edwards, general passenger agent of the Cincinnati, Hamilton & Dayton railroad, was notified that he had been appointed the third arbitrator iu the famous light between the Santa Fe and Hock Island railroads in the western passenger association. JSlinlc of Kuglnnd AffjiSra. , Jan. (i.—The. News in its financial article, commenting on Mr. Wilson's attack on the Bank of England in the Investor's Keview, Kays: 'It is tbe opinion of leading ba.nkeirs and others that Mr. Wilson spoiled a good case by excessive heat of language, and that the facts do not warrant wholesale accusations of bad W»r, Oilcnjro Jlonrd of Trade. CHICAGO, Jan. 5.—There vrns a great broad wheat market again this morning. It started but a fraction under the close on tho advance of l)£e yesterday, held ut a fraction decline for a minute and then made a strong advance to a point %° over ust night. On this bul^e thero was great taking of profits by the bull traders, big and little. Tho lowest point touched on the break before midday was more than Ic over the low price yesterday. A private Paris cable said, wheat higher on the hard weather. The indications were more positive than before for a Lard freeze over our wheat country. The exports for the •week are expected to show over 3.000,000 wheat and flour, and a very favorable action in the visible supply for the bulls. In the meantime the final official statement is due Monday, «nd thero is a disposition to even up with profits and await the government figures. The May started BCJiC, sold 60f>u'o to 8T?b'c, back to 68%o to 60%c, off to UB>£c, and lield late iu tho session at 06%c bid. Quotations were: CU)S1NG. Articles. Highest Lowest. Jan. 6. .Ian. 4. Wh't, a— Jan.... May.... July.... Corn, 3— Jan — May.... July Oats, 2— Jan.... May.... July Pork- Jan.... May.... July Lard— Jan.... Muy.... Jnly B. Bibs- Jan. .. May.... July .63 .67% .86)4 .130 12.82^ 13.8T>s 7.85 6.M) .61 .C6.'.i .61% .07^1 .oi>; .34%' .34% ".31%; 13.75 13.75 7. SO 6.60 .80% 13.75 7.80 7.57^ 6.60 .01 & .1)3 .91 .20» 12.75 7.60 6. BO 6.C2J4 Hcarliic tot fainter. SPKINGFIEI.D, 111., Jan. 5.—Gov. Altgeld will on Saturday next hear an application for executive clemency in the case of George H. Painter, condemned to be hanged at Chicago on the lath inst. for the murder of Alice Martin. McCIamjUry fllay Go to Charles! own. BOSTON, Mass., Jan. 5,—It is reported that Maj. K. W. McClaughry, ex-War- ileu of the Joliet penitentiary and ex- cbief of police at Chicago, will bo eh.ot.on warden of tue Massachusetts ••tate P«&on._ PLEASANTRIES AND SHARP POINTS. t! Orlfrlna! and selected Jtcflectlon* By til* Fduny WHterg—Kvcry Mtin ttrtft HI* PHce—The Bnrglrtl-'g JPredloament —School-Sick, HI* atother-ifi-t,a\v Did It. Friend—So you and your wife have Separated? Bouttown—Yes. My mother-in-law is to blame. She was al ways making trouble between us. "I shouldn't wonder." "Yes, every time I told my wife anything that wasn't the exact truth, that mother-in-law of mine would find it out and tell her." Scliool-Slclt. Willy Staomc--Say, when; you going? Johnny Gunn—Shooting 1 . Ain't no .school—teacher's sick. Willy Staome—Confound him! Why didn't he tell me he was going to bo sick? and then 1 wouldn't have been sick myself to-day.—Fuck. A College Journalist. Friend—How's that? Lost your position already?, I thought you were the highest honor graduate in the Great American College of Journalism, Young Journalist — That's what's the matter. All the professors kept dinging into my head the great journalistic motto, "Boil itdoxvn." "Well?" "Wqll, the first work 1 was given .was editing the special cable dispatches. I boiled 'em down to about three inches, and this morning the proprietor kicked me out."—New^York Weekly. ' ______ A Fortunate Hoy. Papa.— Or.n't you think you might get a prize this term if you should try hard? Small Boy—Mo xise. Sammy Smart takes all the prizes in our school. "Why is that?" "T. don't know for sure, but 1 guess rnebby he's got a papa wot knows enough about arithmetic to help him out in his sums." A Neighbor's Mistake. Little Miss Freckles—Your sister is taking music lessons, ain't she? Little Miss Miijjg—Yes, she's going to learn to piny and sing. "Is that wot it's for?" "Of course." "Then my papa made a mistuk-.:." 1 "How?" "He said he guessed, your papa wanted to buy th' next door neighbors' houses at u sacrifice," Very I,Ilco JJoys. Little Ethel—What is these anarchists people talkin' about? Liitle Johnny—W'y they wants everything- everybody else has got, an' they never wash theirselves. Little Ethel—Oh, I BBU. They is little boys growed up. He T-ost Flesh. Mr. Weigh bigg—Doctor, your anti- fat remedies arc doing me a great deal of good. I'm losing flesh right along. But, seems to me, your charges are ruinously high. Doctor (calmly)—That's part of the treatment. Wanted to Oblige, but—— Housekeeper—If you want anything to eat here, you can just go out there and weed that flower-bed for me. Tattered Tom—Fd like, to obleege yeh, mum, but I'm afeared the position would make me pants bag at the knees. \Vhero the Tug Comes. George—It's easy enough to marry a rich woman if you wish to. Gus—Eh? How can it be done? George—All you have to do is to steer clear of the dowerless little angels who want to marry you. —New York Weekly "Every Man Has Ills Price." ______ —Puck. la tho Wrong Office. Actress—You are a divorce lawyer, I understand? Lawyer—Yes, madame; I secure divorces without publicity. Actress—Una—I'm in the wrong of- tice. Good-day, sir. Johnuy'8 Soap. Mother—Goodness me! Your fa,L't- g.ud hands are almost black. Little Johnny—Well, that new auap yoi* bought me is spit o' browft. to ,Mi*fe. Scale-Downie—l Will get another girl, though onty porarily perhaps, a month or so. Mr. Scale-Downie — Three doll more a week and boardj What do 3 want an extra girl for? Mrs. Scale-Downie—I havejtistf&t out how to make just the loveliest . tic hanging cabinet you ever saw, dt cost of only two dollars, but it w' take me several weeks to do it. H The Professor's Theory. Mrs. JJilkins—Do you think it worth while for my daughter to go taking sing-ing lessons? vShe has be at it for ifive years, and can .not sii yet. Prof. Von Note—Difc you oxpecd hi to learn to /.ing? She vill neffer -/A in zee vide vorld. "Then why didn't you say ,u Io ago?" "I thought you merely vanUd strengthen her lungs." Cj> to Their Tricks. New Clerk —Young lady in frol wants to see some r.ngs exactly. liJ one she has on. She says she thinks | having two alike, just for the futi cj the tiling-. Jeweler—Don't waste time on hcJ That ring she has is an engagement! ring, and she wants to find out what cost. Not Much of n Change. Manag-er—That young 1 woman whom! ., I placed at the counter a year ago alp'^ ready knows more about the busines than you do, and. I find that I S have to put her at the head of the department, though I fear it will' rather unpluo.sn.nt for you to be underj her orders, Clerk—Oh, uo, J am getting used that. We were married last sipriug. A Severe Ulsciplluariitu. Little Girl—If I was a teacher, I'd! make everybody behave. Aunty—-Ilow would you accomplish,] that? Little Girl—Kcal easy. When girls I was bad., I'd tell, them they didn't look ' pretty; and when little boys was bad, I'd make them sit with tho girls; and when big boys was bad. I wouldn't let.' them sit with the girls. Scant Gliding. Wife—Your clothes smell horribly of tobacco. Husband—On my way home I stopped into a little place with whitewashed walls, sawdust floor, pine tables, and a beer keg in one corner. Wife—Aha! So my husband has become a frequenter of gilded dons of vice. No Lnuc Lenses. Builder—Yes, sir, this house hat, just been finished, and is for rent at very reasonable figures. House-Seeker— Will you give me a lease for five years? QjBuildcr—Five years? You must be daft. In half that time it will be dry enough for me to live in myself. Very I>Ikoly. n First fiurglar—T swiped this from A store on Broadway. Second Burglar (after sizing the "nnd" up.)—Well.you ought to be able to get something on that.—Puck. Wanted u Sleeve. Little Boy—Mamma, may we havd one of the sleeves of that white dresa you got tored lust summer? Mamma—What for, dear? Little Boy—Me an' Johnny an' Willie an' Georg-ic tin' Alfy an' the rest ol the boys wants to play circus, an' we hasn't any tent. Plenty of CrutUt. Old Gentleman—I find, sir, that you have no financial standing 1 , no credit any where. Young Getthere—You do me injustice, sir. 1 have easily borrowed several hundred since it became known t waa engaged to your daughter. Not Much Time to Lose. Little. Boy—You'll have to hurry, papa, or mamma will bo ready before, you ai'e. Papa—Indeed? D Little Boy—Yes, she's ''tying on her bonnet, Guess you better begin to dress pretty soon. A Satisfactory Alan. New Man—Here are some poetic cont tributions which came in to-day's mail. I am not up on poetry. »'^ Editor—Good! I don't want you, to ^a be up on it. I want you to be down, *& on it. Cause and Effect. Metropolitan Editor—Probably yon, do not know that all our editorials are written amid the roar and rattle of city streets, Mr. Suburb—Yes, I've noticed thafe they are mostly roar and rattle. Tho Fair Sox. Little Dick—Why do they ,ca women the fair sex? Some of 'em $ awful homely. Little Dot—i. s'pose it's 'cause whyy they're honcstor than men. A Wee Housimfiier. I Little (Hri (helping-her mother)—I've , • j .sU wed the .-tew and squash the squ isl}| •-- '.^ now what MiaU 1 do iionf?-—t ood. .*.*& ii£-^Li/ o«

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