The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on November 8, 1893 · Page 5
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 5

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, November 8, 1893
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BfeB MOlNEgt ALGOKA, IOWA L <^hen a'.ituwn, her bright mission worked. I Has passed beyond the ,wtdes*ept mils And Winter, who In shndow lurked. Seized fast and.bound tha careless rills, Above th'e hcdire's crown of snow ..JTorgotten jewels thrill the sight, whose lingering, ruddy . autumn glOT i BUrns winter s panoply of white. What flushing, ruby dtndem On whiter Brow could steam mote fair 'Thau bitter sweet's belated pern ^Now shining in the frosty air? •The opnl's glittering henrt of flre Must pale before this jewel's flame, The Ice King's diamonds retire And yield their Scintillating ftvmo. —Chicago Inter Ocoa.n THE MISADVENTURES OF JOHN NICHOLSON. .«¥ ROBERT I.OUIS STKVENSON. CHAPTER V—CONTINUED. "Meanwhile he walked familiar streets, merry reminiscences crowding round him, sad ones also, both •with tho same surprising pathos. The keen frosty air; the low, rosy, wintry- sun; the castle, hailing him like an old acquaintance; the names of friends on door-plates; the sight of friends whom he seemed to recognize, and whom he eagerly avoided, in the streets; the pleasant chant of the North country accent; the dome of St. George.'s reminding him of his last penitential moments in the lane, and of that King of Glory whose name had echoed ever since in the saddest corner of his memory; and the gutters "where he had learned to slide, and the shop where he had bought his skates,' and the stones on which he had trod, and the railings in which lie had rattled his clachan as ho went to school; arid all those thousand and one nameless particulars, which tho eye sees without noting, which tho memory keeps indeed yot without knowing, and which, taken one •with another, "build up for us the aspect of the place that we cull homo: all those besieged liirn as he wont with both delight And sadness. His first visit was for Houston, who liad a house on Regent's Terrace, kept for him in old days by an aunt. Tho door was opened (to his surprise) upon the chain, and a voice asked liim from within what he wanted. "I want Mr. Houston—Mr. Alan .Houston," said he. "And who are ye?" said the voice. "This is most extraordinary," thought John; and then aloud ho told ."his name. "No young Mr. John?" cried tho voice, with a sudden increase of Scotch accent, testifying to a friendlier feeling. "Tho very same," said John. And the old butler removed his •defences, remarking only, "I thocht ; yo were that man." But his master "was not there; he was staying, it ap- ^peared, at the house in Murray field, though the butler would have glad enough to have taken his lace and given all the news of tho 'family, John, struck with a little itchill, was eager to be gone. Only, ho door was scarce closed again, bo- >|ffore ho regretted that ho had not iasked about "that man." ^ Ho was to pay no more visits till ie had seen his father and made all .well at homo. Alan had been tho possible exception, and John not time to go as far as Murray- .ftfield. But here ho was on Regent's i';Terraco. There was nothing to pro- him going around tho end of hill, and looking from without on ife Muckenzies' house. As he went, 3 reflected that Flora must now bo a 'pman of near his own ago, and it 'I^Klwas within tho bounds of possibility *J''tb!at she was married; but this dis- E "" ' ' n doubt he clammed down. ,;i; There was the house, sure enough; ^ "_ tho door was of another color, and ^^If-f-what was this—two door plates? Ho -''/•drew nearer. Tho top one boro, with ..j.digniflod simplicity, tho words: "Mr. ' Lpyoudfoot." The lower one was explicit, and informed tho that here was likewise the .0 of "Mr. J. A. Dmilop Proudfoot, [yoeatc." The I'roitdfoots must bo jh, for no advocate could look to -- much business in so remote a il'tor; and John hated them for r wealth and their name, and for pake of the house thoy desecrated their presence. He remembered [Proudfoot ho had seen at school, L known; a little, whey-faced urchin, .despicable member of some lower *'l Could it bo this abortion that ,;Climbod to bo an advocate, and lived in the birthplace of Flora ^ the homo of John's tonderost The chill that liad first him when ho heard of ,'B absence deepened and .ward. For a moment, as he ,der the doors of that es- ouso, and looked oast and fng the solitary pavement of Terrace, whore not a cut ngf, the sense of solitude and i'pn took him by the throat, —"shod himself in San Frun- the figure he made, jjlg decent portliness, his !, tho money in his purse, jgellent cigar that lie |ed, recurred to his mind in comparison with that of Ijjmaddeuod lad, who, on a cer- " Sunday ton years before, Jjehour of church-time silence, $n. from that city by tho Glas- 1$. In the faco of those it was impious to doubt for, jjiridness. All would bo well i would bo i'uund, ;er and lovlior and kinder Alan would bo found and j sp nicely discriminate his bo- 11*43 to have grown, on tho one >,jnto a valued friend of Mr. llfpn's, and to have remained, 3.6 other, of that exact shade of which John desired in his .on.s. And so, once more, John discounting- the delightful n,' future; his first appearance in the family JieW; his ftfst visit to his uncle Greigt who thought himself so great a financier, and on whose purblind Edinburgh eyes John was to let in the dazzling daylight of the West; and the details in genei-al of that unrivaled transformation scene, in which he was to display to all Edinburgh a portly and successful gentleman in the Shoes of tho derided fugitive. The time boga:i li draw near when his father would have roturned from the office, and it would be the prodigal's cue to enter. Ho strolled westward by Albany street, facing the sunset embers, pleased, he knew not why, to move in that cold air and twilight, starred with street lamps. But there was one disenchantment waiting him by tho way. At the corner of Pitt street ho paused to light a fresh cigar; the vesta throw as lie did so a strong light upon his features, and a man of about his own age stopped at sight of it. "I think your name must he Nicholson," said tho stranger. It was too late to avoid recognition; and, besides, as John was now actually on the way home, it hardly mattered, and he gave way to the impulse of his nature. "Great Scott!" he cried; "Boatson!" and shook hands with warmth. It scarce seemed he was repaid in kind. "So you're home again?" said Beatson. "Where have you boon all this long time?" "In tho States," said John. "California, I've made ray pile, though; and it suddenly struck mo that it would bo a noble scheme to come home for Christinas." "I see," said Beatson. "Well, I hope we'll sec something of you, now you're hero." Oh, I guess so," said John, a little frozen. "Well, ta-ta," concluded Beatson, and ho shook hands again and went. This was a cruel first experience. It was idle to blink at facts; hero waa John homo again, and Boatson—Old Boatson—did not cure a rush. Ho recalled Old Beatson in tho past—that merry and affectionate lad—and their joint adventures and mishaps, the window they had broken with a catapult in India place, tho escalade of tho castle rock, and many another inestimable bond of friendship; and his hurt surprise grow deeper. Well, after all, it was only on a man's own family ho could count. Blood was thicker than water, ho remembered, and tlio not result of this encounter was to bring hiin to the doorstop of his father's house, with tenderer and softer feelings. Tho night had conic; the fanlight over tho door shone bright; the two windows of the dining room where the cloth was being laid, and the three windows of the drawing room where Maria would be waiting dinner, glowed softlicr through tho yellow blinds. It was like a vision of tho past. All this time of his absence, life had goiio forward with an o^ual foot, and tho fires and the gas had been lighted, find tho meals spread, at the accustomed hours. At the accustomed hour, too, tho bell had sounded thrice to call the family to worship. And lit tho thought,a pang of regret for his demerit seized him; ho remembered the things that wore good and that ho had neglected, and the things that were ovil and that ho had loved; and it was with a prayer upon his lips that he mounted tho stops and thrust tho key into the keyhole. Ho stopped into tlio lighted hall, shut tho door softly behind him, and stood there fixed iu wonder. No surprise of. strangeness could equal the surprise of that complete familiarity. There was tho bust of Chalmers near tlio stair-railings, there was tho clcthos-brushinthe accustomed place; and there, on tho hat-stand, hung tho hats and coats that must surely bo tho same as he remembered. Ton years dropped from his life, as a pin may slip between tlio lingers, and tho ocean and tlio mountains, and tho crowded marts and mingled races of San Francisco, and his own fortune and his own disgrace, became, for that moment, tho figures of a dream that v.'us over. Ho took oil lii.s hat and moved mechanically toward the stand,and there lie found a small change that was n great olio to him. Tho pin that hail boon his from boyhood, where lie luid flung his balmoral when he loitered homo from tho academy, and hi:; first last thing I will toll you; one warn* ing I will give you; all is discovered, und you are being hunted for you? crimes; if you are still at large it is thanks to me, but 1 have ddne all that 1 mean to do; and from thi» time forth I would not raise one fin- ger—Jiot one finger—to save you from the gallows! And now," with a low voice of absolute authority and a single weighty gesture of the finger, "and now—go!" CHAPTER VI. Tho House at Murrayflold. How John passed the evening, in what windy confusion of mind,in what squalls of anger and lulls of sick col j lapse, in what pacing of streets and plunging into public houses, it would profit little to relate. His misery, if it wore not progressive, yet tended in no way to diminish; for in proportion as grief and indignation abated, fear began to take their places. At first, his father's menacing words lay by in some safe drawer of memory, biding their hour. At first John was all thwarted affection and blighted hope; next bludgeoned vanity raised its head again, with twenty mortal gashes'; and the father was disowned even as ho had disowned his son. What was this regular course of life that John should have admired it? what were these clockwork virtues, from which love was absent? Kindness was tho test; kindness the aim and soul; and judged by such a standard, the discarded prodigal—now rapidly drowning Ms sorrows and his reason in successive drains—was a creature of a lovelier morality than his self- righteous father. Yes, ho was tho better man; ho felt it, glowed with tho consciousness, and entering a public house at tho corner of Howard place (whither ho had somehow wandered) he pledged his own virtue in a glass—perhaps the fourth since his dismissal. Of that lie know nothing, keeping no account of what he did or whore ho wont; and In tho general crashing hurry of his nerves, unconscious of the approach of intoxication. Indeed, it is a question whether ho wore really growing intoxicated, or whether at first tho spirits did not even sober him. For it was oven as ho drained his last glass that his father's ambiguous and menacing words —popping from their hiding place in memory'—startled him like a hand laid upon his shoulder. "Crimes, hunted, tlio gallows." They wore ugly words; in tho ears of an innocent man, perhaps all tho uglier; for if some judicial error wore in act against him, who should set a limit to its grossnoss or to how far it might be pushedP Not John, indeed; ho was no believer in tho power of innocence, his cursed experience pointing in quite othor ways; and his fears, onco wakened, grow with every hour and hunted him about tho city streets. It was, perhaps, nearly nine at night; ho had eaten nothing since lunch, ho had drunk a good deal and ho was exhausted by emotion, when tho thought of Houston came into his head. He turned, not merely to the man as a friend but to his house as a place of refuge. Tho danger that threatened him was still so vagua that he knew neither what to fear not whore ho might expect it; but this much at least seemed undeniable, that a private house was safer than a public inn. Moved by those counsels ho turned at once to tho Caledonian station, passed (not without alarm) into the bright lights of the approach, redeemed his portmanteau from tho cloak room, and was soon whirlinj; in a cab along the'Glasgow road. Tho change of movement and position,tho sight of tlio lamps twinkling in tho rear, and the sincll of damp anil mould and rotten straw which clung about tho vehicle, wrought in him strange alterations of lucidity and mortal giddiness. "I have been drinking," ho discovered; ••! must go struighl to bod and sloop." And he thanked heaven f'oi the drowsiness which came upon hir.i in wave.-;. [TO in: coNTixriin.] hat When he came briskly back from college or the oHice—his pin was occupied. "They might have at least, respected my pin!" he thought, and ho was moved as by a slight, and began at once to recollect that ho was here an interloper,in a strange house, which ho had entered almost by a burglary and where at any moment ho might be scandalously challenged. He moved at once, his hat still in his hand, to tho door of his father's room, opened it, and entered. Mr. Nicholson sat in the saino place and posture as on that If-t Sunday morning; only he was o! •, and grayer, i and sterner; and no\v as ho glanced up and caught tho eye of his sun, a strange commotion and a dark Hush j sprang into his f;-.ce. i "Father," said John, steadily, and ! even cheerfully, for this was a mo- I mont against which lie was long ago ! prepared, "father, here I am, and j here is the money that I took from you. I have come back to ask your j forgiveness, and to stay Christmas | with you and Iho children." | "Keepyour money,"' said the father, I "and go!" i "Father!" cried John, "for God's j sake don't receive uie iu this way. I I've come for—" "Understand me," interrupted Mr. Nicholson, "you are no son of mine, and in the sight of God I wash, giy hands ol you. Qn.e Old Stand.by*. It is remarkable that, ulthough new fruits come to the front every your, thoro is not a pour yet that ha: boon able, to lake the place of tlio liartlett or the Soekol. The Burtlett is a European sort,, originating in Kuglund and named there William'. Bon ('hrotien. It was introduced into this country, and its nunio gettin;j lost, it was named liartlet.t, aftoi the man in whoso garden it was when its excellent qualities were discovered. Tho Deckel in a native. | chanco seedling, f;>mul growing neai ' the Hchuylkill river, Philadelphia., 1 and tin,' original tree still stands and . bears fruit. Tho Hurtlott is in season all throughout September, the ; .Seckel from the close of .Voptombei I and through October. These tw(. ' kinds are no exception to tho rule: > that tho quality of all pears increuset in value as the trees get older. The fruit from a full-grown Seckel poai tree, for instance, is fur superior to that from a tree fruiting for tho first i time. ' i Timu to Mtiip. i "You are working too hard," said a i policeman to a man who wa^ drilling a hole iu a bare at 2 o'clock hi the morning. ••What's that?" asked tho burglar ; in a discontented tone us he lookec : into the muzzle of the policeman's re. I volver. "1 suy y-.m need arrest." 1 —Judge. amiable an( /V .M itl.'^ittnl ('ti llu—You are still beautiful. Miss Eldorly—llon't try to taffy ma. I uuver was lovely or amiable, 1 \vaj always homely and spiteful, lie—Will" you allow rnp to say tha; you are remarkably well " —Texas Siftings, ,ATEST PRODUCTIONS OF THE FUNNY WRITERS. Old Stage Driver Iteitrs nt a. Ingtoti Ti'itRetly—Itow Mr. lioscnbntt IVns Havoil from Urownh.^— Witty Ruling Pnsslon. Solomon Isancs—Veil, Doctor, uf 're got to die, I die gontendet. My ife vas insuret for ten tousand tollara. Doctor—I think, with the aid of ionics, I can keep you alive lor a week onper. Solomon Isaacs—Dond't do it, doctor. Der bremiuiyi comes due der day afder to-morrow. that To Rnmovo tlio Cause. Primus—Collins has admitted 10 drinks loo much. Secundus—Has he said be would reform? Primus—Yes. Secundus—What's his idea—Kedov lure? Primus—No; he will vote with t..o Prohibitionists hereafter. f lifct tfn» Husband— Three hundred ddl* Iftrs for a dress? It is preposterous! You can not afford to wear such clothes. Loving Wife—Why not, darling 1 ? ' Fond Husband—because the price is outrageous" and I cannot afford to pay it. Loving Wife—0 , that's all right, dearie; 1 thought at first you said I couldn't afford to wear it.—Ex. l,O(?Ic Is "May I call you Mae?" "But you " short time." have known mo such a Not the Same VIII. Old Stairo Driver—I wish I was in Washington. There's going ter be a lynchm' bee and I'd like to take a liand. I read in- i he paper that they were goin' ter kill "Silver Bill," who has been inakin' trouble. I knowed him in Arizona before the war.—Texas Siftings. A Scheme. "Mny," he whispered, fondly, as they adjourned to the piaxza; "I bought a house to day in the country." "Oh, Tom !" she murmured. "Yes," he returned; "a beautiful little house—nice lawn— Jlower bed — chicken house—vine-covered piazza and trees." "How lovely!" she cried. "And it is all ours, Tom---will be, 1 mean—all ours to do with juot as we plouso'i 1 To paint whatever color wo like, and select our own wall-paper?" "Yes, my dear," I'iOJeturued; "that's just it." "And is it very far?" she asked. "Too far for Mama to travel?" lie frowned ever so slightly in the darkness. ".No," he answered; "it is quite near —I have to go to business every day, you know." "Then, Torn," she said, gently, "it will be just the thing. We'll rent it to papa and mama, and live in_ this city house ourselves to keep it in repair—and it will be cheaper for them, for we won't charge very much rent, will vie?" And as the scheme in all its majesty burst upon Tom's mind, he answered, faintly, "JS'o o."—Puck. Not on Exhibition. Philanthropist (pushing through crowd around man who has fainted)— What ails this man? . , Small Hoy—He's been out o' wo-k fer free days, an' ain't had nothin' ter eat; dat s all. Philanthropist—Do you know who he is? Small Boy—Yes; he's Perfesser Bones, de sixty-day faster. Economy ID Wealth. Ooldski (dictating a letter)—My dear Mr. Schankelhausenheimer— Miss Keytap—How do you spoil that iui.no? Ooldski—S—c—h—; oh, py de vay, I dink you potter begin der letter "My Dear Sir," iindt save de vear und (oar on do machine. It IIiul That Look. '•This note from the editor," sa'd Ppaceryt, "looks to me very much like a freeze-out." "What docs ho say?" asked the office boy. "Hereafter lie want' me to do yadit- ing in winter, and skating contests in summer." ICxptiilnod. Pike—What is the meaning of that saying, "He gives twice who gives quickly?" Dyke—It means that he generally gives twice sis mu h as the fellow who doesn't give quickly. I.aid Anlde for .Summer. Mi sionary—Her- 1 you are massacre- ing people after the old sinful fashion Have you renounced Christianity? Aborigine—Oh, dear, nol I was only t ikiua' a summer vncntion. A Hig Itiirgalii. William Ann—You lutven't got a cook here that would weigh, say, 200 pound?, have you? Intelligence 1 ady—Mercy, no! Why must you have such a big one? William Ann—My wife bought a 43 corset for H cents and she wants a cook she can give it to. TniiiHlatod. "What does 'ijnc 11 rm' mean?" "Literally, 'but—no;' translated freely, it's what a French girl snys when i-hc w;n ts to marry a man and at the same time wants to refuse him." Chl- A Free Trout. "Is n't it a shame," said the cagoun, ''that a person has to tifty cents for entering the Fair, and not a cent when ho loaves it? He enters Chicago then.—Ex " Kxtra 1'recnutlonHi "I suppose after the burning of the cold storage building iho World's Fair managers are uneasy, eh?" "Yes; in the art pal lory they've ordered tho water colors to be mixed up with the oil paintings f r safety." Asserted Herself. Coroner—You say you hired girl to get out of tho minule you discovered the she refused to go. 1 Mrs. Burndout—Yes, sir. she must have a month's fore she'd think uf leaving.—1'uclc. told the house the fire, and She said notice be- JTore warned—Forearmed. Casey (as he looks over the fence and sees the W id o iv Urannigan beating her carpet)—lie th' Saints above, Oi'll not ask Mary Ann Hraunigan to be me woit'e, now, to save me loife! An iiisplrutlou* v. m*P ^• : -^.- r- Kosenbatt—Help, help, Bloomberg. I vas oxhousted!—I cund't svim any more! Hloombcrg (with great pivsenco of mind) —Dere vas a meeting ohf Epstein's greilitors ul der hotel:'—lurry up, ohf you vaut to put in your glaim! —Puck. Giiiint Poverty. Dolan—Sure, ould England's goin' down fasht. It's poverty-stricken they are ! Dooloy—Is thot so? Dolan—1 hov' it in black an' white. Th' paper says only wan po soniii w»n hoonderd an sivcnty-f .ivefjitsarristei.! for drunkenness in a whole year. Certain Wout(l-«fl ItiimorHt* fjffhtly WJth Ifncanny SubjeoWi That Was a bitter joke of the ffian In Texas who put a quantity of jalap jn sorao boor his friend was about to drink, tho funeral was well afr> tended. It is impossible to say who originated the above manner of stating & fatal occurrence, says the St. Louta Post-Dispatch, but it seems to hs quite generally followed by newspaper paragraphers. It is a dolicatd way of putting it and reads much better than when one says: "Ho died amid the moat horrible and excruciating agonies." The whole story is told and tha reader's sensibility is not shocked. This stylo of paragraphing affords an opportunity for exorcising ingenuity. Variety, freshness, and a cheerful not to say vivacious facotioitsness might bo mingled with tho briefest! notices of fatal casualties that otherwise might be neglected by tha reader or very briefly glanced as, &3, for instance, tho following: A manjn Maryland the other day ate fifteen raw oysters on a wager, Tho silver trimmings on his coffin cost, $12.3(5. A young man in Louisville examined a keg of damaged gunpowder with a rod-hot poker to soe if it waa good. It is believed by his friends that ho has gone to Europe, although a man has found sotiio bonus and a pioco of shirt tall about twenty miles from. Louisville Kichurd iStrongarm, bettor k- own as tho "champion trunk stntuhur of Missouri," found a box last week marked: "Dynamite—handle with cure." "Ha, ha!" said ho; :''.;, na,' mite!" in a scornful voice; us ho seized it by tho handle, braced ono foot against tho load, and yanked it on tho platform. Ho never cumo back. A circus ruder in Arizona tried to turn three HomorsaultB on horseback tho othor day. Tho management sent back to New Orleans for another somersault man. A man in New York couldn't wait for the cars to got, to tho depot. Ilia widow had to sue tlio insurance company. A man warned his wife in Cincinnati not to light tho fire with kerosene. She did not hoed tho warning. Her clothes fit hisi second wife remarkably well. A small boy waa hanging around a circus in lirookiyn tho othor day, when lie oponod tho lid of a box marked "Hou constrictor." That small boy doesn't hang around any more circuses. A boy in Canada disregarded his mother's injunctions not to skate on tho river, as tho ice was thin. His mother docs not cook for as many as she formerly did. In Mussuohu otts tho othor day a man thought ho could cross the track in advance of a locomotive. Tho services at tho grave wore very 'm- prOisivc. A Hum MI Onti'inh. The following remarkable story of a human being, whose regular food was Hints and othor stony substances, may bo found in tho North British Monthly Register for March, .'1700. Tho account is by Rov. Dr. H. C. Harr, a writer of good repute, and tho story is believed to bo a truo relation of tho facts as thoy came under his observat'on. Hero is an abridgement of tho reverend, doctor's article: "Early this year (1700) there w? » brought to Avignon a truo lithopha- gus. or stono eater. Ho not only swallowed Hints an inch long and half an inch thick, but such stonoo as he could reduce to powder with his toath, such as common pebbles, miM'bles, sand, gravel, etc. Thoso softer stones ho chewed with his. strong tooth until thoy were reduced to a sort of paste, which seemed fco bo very agreeable to this crcat.uro'3 curious digestive uppuiuais. * * * I examined this man with all the attention possible. 1 found his g'tllet very largo, his teeth exceedingly Btrong, and his saliva very corrosive, HO much so that whon ho spat on the iron floor spots wore left that scrubbing compounds would not remove. His stomach was much lower than that of an ordinary mortal, which I imputed to tho vast number of stones ao had swallowed." Woman's Trust. Venice, the bride of the sea, slumbered. In the moonlight a youth pleaded with his inamorata to fly with Irim. "Let us away in my gondola!" he exclaimed, passionately. bhe gaxed into his l<<ve-warin eyes. "Yea," she suddenly cried; "I ana fore d to trust thee! You—" The last battlement of doubt before the citadc, of tier heart had been scaled "—won't wobble the boat, will you, Dearest?" §be paused. A 4>iiotHtlnn. Brown—You didn't got that Federal appointment you were after. Jones (proudly)—No, sir. I'm un- awe i by power and uncorrupted by patronage. The Average OllU'e-Sookcr. "So Jobson has asked the President to give him an English consu ship. 0«i A'liat does he base his claims?' "On his ability to speak the language." Cornets for Kngllsli "Lnily 1'anpcrs." One of the English newspapers re* cently got quite excited over the mam agement, or, as it asserted, mi u>an- agemi-nt, of the Mile End workhouse. One of the leadirig items of the list of charges was that the corsets which were supplied to the "lady paxipers' were bought for 2s t'd a dozen, or about 5 cents each. investigation, however, proved that the lady paupers had no i I'eeu subjected to the indignity of wearing ft cent corsets as their on>y visible support,for the m 11- age s conclusively "proved that they had furnished a Iu urious article coating over 35 cents. Upon this journal.stic wrath was appeased. How ICgyptluu Women UUle, A. description of the horseback riding of Egyptian women will not serve to render mo e popular the eugges on of Col. Dodge 'that Ainetiwin woiai-n u,dopt the same styl»;. An Ey-yp iau woman takes "• nutn's s-udille, shortens tho stirrups untilthc leathers aro oniy couple o£ iqulH'S long, sits on the Ycu'y Much Asl unlshml. After a decision of tho house of parliament on a motion of Mr. Fox, I i • George Young who had boon drinking' all day instead of attending l,o his parliamentary duties, insisted on addressing the house; but, beginning with "L um astonished," could proceed no further. When he had repeated these words seven times, • the house was convulsed with laugh' ter. The burouet appealed to the upeukor, who pleasantly inquired what he would have him do. Sir loorge grew very warm at this, and. declared that ho would not give up hid favorite word, • for," said ho, "I really am astonished, Mr. Speaker." By tho advice of friends, however, ho was presently prevailed upon, after repeating the word about a, do/.en times more, to chango it to surprised," after which, "having entirely forgott.'n what ho intended to say, "ho sat down. — Argonaut. St. Louis Man— Been rusticating 1 , have you? Well, there is nothing like getting uway from the rioiss and bustle of city life for a few days., Wiiore did you g->? Kansas City Mau-— To St. Louis, A. tirunt Tru'U. Gua de Smith—Do you know thing about electricity? Feweads—I know • something"

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