The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on October 25, 1893 · Page 6
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

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Wednesday, October 25, 1893
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f ABIfiNACt tlf« lioftti 1 ' the f«I> (pet nt n. Stirring Scrtnnn Preached Last isuii- •day—"Tht,j the Soldier* fcut Oft the JJopcs," fete., 1ft Acts. / , Oct. 22.— After preaching o Hi n'-ly 4,000 (HlTerent subjects, and Vein eloiojj .followed by the printing press for 11 v about twenty-five year?, Rev. Dr. Tahnage ''feUll sbeius to find new subjects that have ne^er been preached 'on. This afternoon he chose for his subject: "Unsafe Lifeboats. 1 ' Tho text being: Acts 27:23, "Then the soldiers out off the ropes of the % boat, and let her fall off." While your faces are yet somewhat bronzed by attendance on the international boat contest between the 1 Vigilant and the Valkyrie, I address 'you. Good thing's when there is no * betting 1 or dissipation, those outdoor sports. We want more fresh air and breeziness in our temperaments and oUr relifficn. A slale and slow lugubrious religion may have done for • other times, yet will not do for these. But my test calls our attention to a boat of a different sort, and ins-ead of the Atlantic, it is the Mediterranean, and instead of not wind enough, as the crews of the Vigilant and Val- kyiie the other day complained, there is too much wind and the swoop of a Euroclydon. I am not calling 1 your attention so much to the famous ship on which 1'aul was distinguished passenger, but to lifeboat of lhat ship which no ss-ems to notice. For a fortnight main vessel had been tossed •driven. For that two weeks, the count says, the passcng-ers had the the one the and ac- 'con- tinned fas'ing." I suppose the salt water, dashing' over, had spoiled the sea-biscuit, ati-d the pas-enters were seasick anyhow. The sailors said, "It is no use; this ship must go clown," and they proposed among themselves to lower the lifeboat and get into it, and take the chances for reaching shore, although they pretended they were poing to get over the sides of the big slap and down into the lifeboat, only, to do sailors' duty. That was not'savor-like, for the sailors that I have known wore all intrepid fellows, and would rather go down with the ship than do such a iru an thing as those Jack Tars of iny test attempted. When on the Medite ranean last •Juno the Victoria sank under the ram of thu Camperdown, the most majestic thing about that awi'ul ' :scene was that all the sailors staid pt their pr.sts doing their duty. As a class all over the world sailors are valorous, but these sailors of the text were •exceptional and pretended to do duty while they were really preparing for flight in the lifeboat. But the "marines" on board—sea solaiers—had in F especial charge a little missionary who was turning the world npside down, .and when these marines saw the trick 'the sailors were about to play, they lifted the cutlasses from the girdle and •chop! chop! went those cutlasses into the ropes that held the lifeboat and splash! it dropped into the sea. My text describes it: ' 'The soldiers cut oft' the ropes of the boat and let her fall off." As that empty lifeboat dropped and was capsized on a sea where for two weeks winds and billows had been in battle, I think that many on board the main vessel folt their last hope of ever reaching home had vanished. In •that tempestuous sen a small boat •could not have lived five minutes. My subject is "Unsafe lifeboats." We cannot exaggerate the importance of the lifel oat. All honor to the memory of Lionel Lukin, the coach buildt-r of Lnng Acre, London, who invented the first lifcbont, and I do not blame him for ordering put upon his tombstone in Kent the inscription that you may still read there: ''This Lionel Lukin was the first who built a lifeboat, and was the original inventor of that principle of safety, by which many lives and much •property" have been preserved from shipwreck; imd he obtained for it the king's patent in the year 1785." All bon, r to the memory of Sir William Hillary, who, living in the Isle of Man, and af.or assisting with his own hand in the rescue of 30o lives of the •shipwrecked.stirred the English parliament to quick action in the con>tnie- Uon of lifeboats. Thanhs to tJod for the sublime and pathetic and divine •mission of the lifeboat. No one will •doubt its important, mission who has read of the wieck »f the Amaxon in the bay of Biscay; of the Tweed running on the reefs of the fc r ulf of Mexico, or of the Ocean Monarch on the coast of Wales, or of the Birkenhead on the Cape of Good Hope, or of the lioyal Charter on the coast of Angiesea or of the Kx- inouth on the Nco'eh breakers, or of the Cambria on the Irish coast, or of the Atlantic on the rocks of .Nova Scotia, or of the Lexington on Long Island Sound. To add still further to the importance of thelifeboat, remember there are at least3,000,OUO men following the sea, to say nothing of the •uncounted millions this moment ocean passengers. We ' land-lubbers," as •sailors call us, may not know the difference between a ruarline&pike and a ring- bolt, or anything about heaving- a log, or rigging out a flying jib-boom, •or furling a top-sail, but we all realize to greater or less extent the importance of a lifeboat in every marine •equipment But do we ft-el the importance of a lifeboat in the matter of ihe eoul's rescue? There arj limes -when \ve all feel that we are out at sea, and sis many disturbing and anxious qiu'S'.ious strike us as waves struck that vessel against 1 he sides of which the lifeboitof my text dangled. Questions about the church. Questions about the world. Questions about Ood. Questions about our eternal •destiny, Kvery thinking man and •woman have these questions, and in •proportion as they are_ thinking people •do ttiese questions arise. There is no •wrong in thinking'. If God had not •.(iHei-ded us to think and keep on thinking, lie would not have built under this .wheelhouse of the skull this thinking machine, which halts uot in its revolutions from cradle to gr.a-ve. Kven the uiidnight does not ^top the tliink ng machine, for when •'vye, tyre in dreams we are thinking-, although we do not think as wel'. All at Mb who are accu&tomed to thinking want 1 1 reach some solid bhorc of 1fety and satisfaction, aod if anyone a got d lifeboat (hat we may honorably take, I wish be would un$be davits and into it »»4 put for e#aftl5«6 the soul in it or advise" you to risk-yoUr. soul in it. All the splefidld Ramstfate lifeboats B»d Mafga'te lifeboats and South Shields lifeb ats and American lifeboats were tested, before being- put into practical Use,as to tfieir buoyancy and Speed, and stowage and self- righting capacity. -And when you offer my soul a lifeboat I must fit st test it. Here is a snlendid -new lifeboat called Theosophy. It has only a little while been launched, although .some of the planks are really several thousand years old, aud from a worm-eaten ship, but they are painted over and look new. They'are really Fatalism and Pantheism of olden time, liut we must forget that and call them Theosophy. The Grace Diirling of this lifeboat wns an oars woman by the name of Madame Blavatsky, but the oarswoman now is Annie, Besant. So many are gettingaboard the boat, it is worthy of examination, both because of the safety of those who have entered it and because we ourselves are invited 'to pet in. Its theory is that every thing is God. Horse and star and. tree and man are parts of God. We have three souls: An animal soul, a human soul, a spiritual soul.' The animal soul becomes, after a while,JJa wandering thing, trying to express itself through mediums. It eni ers beasts, or enters a human being, and when you find an effeminate man it is because a woman's soul has got into the man, and when you find a masculine woman, it is be.-ause a man's soul has tnken posses'sioii of a woman's body. If you find a woman has become a, platform speaker and likes politics, she is possessed by a dead politician, who forty years ago made tho plat- for/n quake. The soul keeps wandering on and on. and may have fifty or innumerable different forms and finally is absorbed in God. Ii, was God at the start and will be God tit the last. But who gives the authority for the truth of such areligibn? (Some beings living m a cave in Central Asia. They arc invisible to the; naked eye, but. they cro:-:s continents and seas in a ilash. My Baptist brother, Dr. Haldeinan.says that a Theosophist in New York was visited by one of these mysterious beings from Central Asia. The gentleman kui.'W it from the fact that the mysterious being left his pocket-handkerchief, etubroidered with his hanie and Asiatic residence. The most wonderful achievement of.tjie Theosof phials is that they keep out of .the'inj-;. sane asylum. They prove the truth of; tho statement that "uo religion eve announced was so absurd but it gaiuec disciples. Societies in . the lTnite< Slates and England and other lupd have been established for th .-•. promul gation oi'Thesosophy. Instead of heed ing the revelation of a bible, you cap have these spirits from a cave in Ceri tral Asia to tell you all you ought tc know, and after'you leave this life you may become a prima donna or a robin or a gazelle, or a sot or a prize^irrhter or a Herod or a Jezebel, and so be en abled to have great variety of experience, rotating- through the universe now rising, now falling, now shoi out in a straight line, and now de- 1 scribing a pnrabola, and on and on and up and up, and down and down, and round and round. Don't you see? Now, that Theosophic lifeboat has been launched. It proposf-s to take you alJ oil the rough sea of doubt into everlasting-quietude.. How do' you like that lifeboat? My opinion,.!* you hacl better imitate the mariners of my tdxt. and cut oft' the ropes of that boat ano| lot her fall off. ,-..•' Another lifeboat tempting. 1 us 'to enter is made up of • many planks! of good works.'. It is'really a beautiful boat—alms giving, practical sympathies for human suffering, rigliteous words and righteous deeds. I must admit I like the looks Of the prow aud of the row-loisks and ;'6f thu paddles and of the steering gear and of manv who are thinking to trust themselves ou her benches. B.ut the trouble about that lifeboat 'is, it leaks. I never knew a man good enough to earn heaven by his' virtues or generosities. If there be one person here present on this blessed Sabbath all of whoso thoughts have been , always right, all of whoso actions have always been right, and all of whoso words have always been right, let him stand up, or if already standing, let him lift his hand, and I will know that he lies. Paul had it about right when he said: "By the deeds of the law shall no flesh livinir be justified." D;ivid had ic about right when he said: "There is none that doeth good, no not one." The old book had it about right when it said: "All have sinned and como short of i he glory of God." Let a man get off that little steamer called "The Maid of the Mist," which sails up to the foot of Niagara falls, and then climb to the top of the falls pti the descending Hoods, for he can do it easier than any man will ever be able to climb to*heaven by his good works. If your thoughts have always been exactly right, and your words exactly right and your deeds always exactly right, you cun ffo up to the gate of heaven, and you need not even knoL-k for admittance, but open it yourself, and push the angels out of your way, and go up aud take one of the front seats. But you would be so unlike anyone elsu that has gone up from this world that you would be a curiosity in heaven, and more fit for a heavenly museum than for a place where the inhabitants could look at you free of charge.- No, sir, I admire it, the best seat iri' -tfte could-not ke^ them ' „ yo\t stood at the tfUnw-ales With ttclu ad on our,ship GreectS in' a Imrrhsan and the steetage paas'eugers Were determined to como up' on deck, where* they w6ttld.have beeri .Washed ofl! ( knd the officers stbod at. the top of, the stairs clubbing them' batik. Even, b'y such violence as 1 that you cou'ldinot keep people from jumping into^the fttostpopu ar life-boat, made of ghtirch* '•member inconsistencies. -.In tihie.S of •revival when sinners (lock into'theln- quiryroom, tho most of them are kept from deciding aright because 'they know So, many Christians are bad. The inquiry room becomes a World's Fair for exhibition ,of all the frailties of church members, so that if you believo all that is there told you, : you would bo afraid to enter a church, lest vou got youv. pockets poked or Tgyt knocked down.' Tfiis is tiie way ;they talk: ''I was cheated out of .f?f>oo by a leader of a bible class." "A Sunday school teacher gossiped about me and did her best to destroy my good name." "I had a p.-irtner in business who swamped our business concern 'by his trickery, and then rolled up his eyes in Friday-night prayer meeting, as though he were looking for Elijah's chariot to make a sec -rid trip and take up another passenger." But what a cracked and water-logged and gaping-seamed lifeboat the inconsistencies of others! Put me on a shingle mid-Atlantic and leave me there, rather than in such a yawl of spiritual confidence. God forbid that 1"should # been cftses wfherb , Slui8'wefe\Hn troub'Q and the $011 all tha'ffasseihg'dis and cre^'ijtnt'p the lifeboats, but trt jre was not room for the captain. He, through th trumpet, shoutp'd: '-Shove off now and Hull for the beach. Good-by,' and then the captain iwilh .pathetic and sublime self-sacrifice went down with the ship. So the captain of our salvatidn, Christ the Lord, launches the gospel lifeboat, and toll! us all to got in, .but he perishes. "It behooved Christ to suffer.'" Was it not so, ye who Witnessed his agonixiog expiration? Simon of Gyrene, was U not so? Cavalry troops, whose horses pawed the dust at thn crucifixion, was it hot so? Ye Marys who swooned' away with the sun of tho mid-day 'heavens, was it not so? "By his stripes we are healed." By his deatll we live. By his sinking in the deep sea of suffering we get off safe in a lifeboat. Yes, we must put into this story a little of our own personality. We had a ride in that very lifeboat from foundered 'craft to solid shore. Onoo ou the raging sea^ I rowed, Tlio storm was loud, the uight was dark, Thu o oan yawned and rudely blow'd The wind that tossed niy ioundering bark. But I got into the go-pnl lifeboat and 1 got ashore. No religious speculation for me. These higher criticism fellows do not bother mo a bit. You may ask me fifty qutstions about the sea and about the land and about the lifeboat that I cannot answer, but cue thing 1 know: I urn ashore and I am going to stay ashore, if the Lord, by his grace will help me. I frel under me some get aboard it, and lest some of you I thing so fli'in that I try it .with tny make the mistake of getting into it, £'•••• J * • •• ••'• •-...do as the mariners did on that, Mediterranean ship when the sailors were about to get into the unsafe hfoboat:, of tho text, and lose their lives in that way. "Then the soldiers cut offi 'the ropes of the boat and lot her fall off." "Well," tays some one, "this subject js very discouraging, for we must have a lifeboat, if we are ever to get ashore, and -you have alraady condemned three." Ah", it is bt'iause 1 want to persuade you to take the only safe lifeboat. '-I will not'allow you to be deceived arid get oi) to the wild waves and then capsize or sink. Thank' God, there is-a lifeboat that will'tdko you ashoro in safety, as sui'e as God is God and -'heaven is heaven. :The koot and ribs of this boat are jnadcbut of a tree thatgivas set up on a., bluff back of Jeru-nltim a..good .many years ago Both of -the oars are made" out of the same tree. The rowlocks are made out of the same tree. The planks of it were hammered together by the hammers of executioners, who thought Miej' were only killing a Christ, bu; vvc.ro really pounding together an escape for all imperiled souls of all ages. It is an old coat, but good as new, though it has been carrying passengers from sinking ships to firm shore for ages, I and has never lost a passenger.. These old Christians begin to smile because right foot, and try it with my left foot, | aud then I try it wi.h both feet, and i it is so solid that I think it must bo I whan the old folks used to call the 1 Hock of Ages. And bu my remaining i days on earth many or few, 1 am going i to spend my time in recommending ! the lifeboat which fetched me here, ; a poor sinner saved by grace, and 1 in swinging the cmlas'ses to sever the ! ropes of any unsafe lifeboat, and let | her fall off. My hearer, without ask! ing any questions, got into the gospel lifeboat. Uoom! and yet • there' is room! The biggest boat on earth is the gospel lifeboat. You' must remember the proportion of things, aud that the shipwrecked craft is tho whole earth, and the lifeboat must bo m proportion. You talk about your Campanias, and your Liu-anias, and your Majesties, and your City of New Yoi-ks, but all of them put together are smaller than an Indian's canoe on Schroon lake compared with this gospel life i oat that is largo enough to take in all nations, lloom for one and room for all. Got in! "How? How?" you aslc. Well, I know how you feel, for summer before last, oa the sea of Finland, i had tho same experience. The ship in which we sailed could not venture nearer than a mile from shore, where stood the Russian palace of I'eterhof, and wo had to got into a small boat MEAttT. it is dawning upon them what 1 mean'. ! and be removed ashore. The water The fact is that in this way years ago they got off a wreck themselves, and I do not wonder they smile. 11, is not a senseless giggle that means frivolity, but it is a smile like that on the face of Christians the moment they leave, earth for heaven, yea, like the smile of God himself when he had completed the plan for saving the world. Eight after that, big tumble of the Atlantic ocean six or seven vrooks ago, on the beach at East Hampton, I met the captain,of the life-saving station you get no advantage and said: ""Captain, do you think a boat. Let go! Docs . - - you lifeboat could live in a sea like that?" Although the worst of it was over, the captain replied: "No, I do not think it could." But this lifeboat of which 1 speak can live in any sea and defies all breakers and all cyclones and all equinoxes and all earth and all hell. In twenty years the life-saving- apparatus along our Atlantic coast saved the lives of over 45,000 of the shipwrecked, but this lifeboat that I commend has saved in twenty years hundreds of millions of tho shipwrecked. Like those newly-invented English lifeboats, it is instibmergcablo solf- riglitiuji- and sell-bailing. All along >ur rocky American coast things wore eft to chance for centuries, and tho shipwrecked crawled up on the beach to die unless some lapponed to walk along or some fisherman's hut might bo near. Jut after the ship Ayrshire was vreckcd at Squan Beach, arid tho J owhatan left her three hundred dead trewn along our coast, and another cessel went on the rocks, four hundred ivcs perishing, the United States gov- rnraont woke up anil made an appro- jriat on of ¥.700,000 for life-saving stations, and life-lines from faking- box are shot over the wild surf, and hawsers are stretched from wreck to shore, and what with Lyle's gun and six-cured surf-boat, with cork at tho sides to make it unsinkable, and patrolmen all night long walking the beach until they moot each other and exchange metal tickets, so as to show the entire beach has been traversed, and the coston light flashes hope from shore to sufferer, and surf men, encased in Merriman life-saving dress, and j Hfo-car rolling on the ropes, there aro j many probabilities of rescue for the unfortunates of tho sea. But the government of tlio united heavens has made better provision for the rescue of our souls. Ho close by that this moment we cau put pur hand on its top and swing into it, j is. this gospel lifeboat. It will not take you more than a minute to get your good works, and that lifeboat into it. you are thinking of trusting in is But while han-'somer than any yawl or pinnace or yacht or cutter that ever sped out of a boathouse or hoisted- sail for a race. But she leaks. Trust your soul in that, and.you will go to the bottom. hlie leaks. So I imitate the mariners . of the text, and with a cutlass strike j and only one lifeboat; the ropes of the boat and let " her fall off. Another lifeboat is Christian inconsistencies. The planks of this v boat j are composed of the split nlanks pf i shipwrecks. That prow is inade out i of Hypocrisy from the life of a'man'i who professed onu thing and really was i another. One oar of the lifeboat was i the falsehood ot a chuivh merhljer. aiid i the otlier oar was the wickedness of i some minister of thu gospel, whose iniquities wpre not for a long while found-out. Not on.e • plank from the oak of God's eternal trfit.i jn. all that lifeboat. All the planks,-by universal <tduub&ion, are decayeJ and crumbling imd fallen ap'^rt and rotten and ready to sink, "Well, well,'' you s$iy. "No one will waiit to got into that life- bpat" Oh, my fri$a$, you are mistaken. Tn.a$ ;§ ih,e inbst pobul^r life* „. text we stand watching the marines with their cutlasses, preparing to sever the ropes of the lifeboat and let her fall off, notice the poor equipment. Only one lifeboat. Two hundred and .seventy- aix passengers, as Paul counted them, and only one lifeboat; My text uses the singular and not the plural. '-Cut off the ropes of the boat, "I do not suppose it would have held more than thirty people, though loaded to the water's edge. I think by marine law all our modern ves els have enough lifeboats to hold all the crew and all the passengers in ease of emergency, but the marines of my. text were standing by the only boat, and that a small boat, i^ndyettwo hundred and seventy- six passengers. Hut what thrills me through and through is the 'fact that thousrh -wo are wrecked, by -sin and trouble, ^nd there is ooly one lifeboat,' that boat is large enough to hold all who y,re willing- to get into it- 'IJxe gospel hymn expresses it: All may come, whoever will, This Mua receives poor siunore But I must haul in that statement a little., Ro&niforain^ that r-, £-.'- , h *M§l<8LW jil'**A $&&.%( was rough, and as wo went down the . ladder at the side of the ship, we held | firmly on to the railing, but in order i to get into the boat we had at last to let go. How did I know that the I Finland sea .would not swallow us j with one opening of its crystal jaws? We had to trust, aud we did trust, and j our trust was well rewarded. In the 1 same way get into this gospel lifeboat. i Let go! As long as you hold on to any other hope you are imperiled and from tho life- some one hero j say: "I guess I will hold on a little to : my good works, or to a pious parentage, or to something I can do in the | way of achieving my own salvation." No, no, let go! Trust the captain, , who would not put you into a ricicety ' orunccr.'ain craft. For tho sake of your present and ; everlasting welfare, with all the ur- 1 geney of an immortal addressing iin- | mortals, I cry from the depth of m c ' soul and at the top of my "voice, Le go! Last summer the life-saving crev at East Hampton invited me to com up to the life station and see the crev pract'ce, for twice a week they were drilled in the important workassigne them by the United States government and they go through all the routine o saving the shipwrecked. But tha would give little idea of what the; would have to i!o if some midnigh next winter, the wind driving Veachward, a vessel should go in the grasp of a hurricane. See tho lights ilaro from tho ship in the breakers, and then responding- lights flaring from tho beach, and hear the rockets buzz as they rise, and the life boat rumbles out and the gun booms and the lifeline rises and falls pcross the splintered decks, and the hawsei tightens, and the life-ear goes to ant fro, carrying the exhausted mariners, and the ocean, as if angered by tho snatching- of the human prey from the white teeth of its surf and the strok of its billowing paw, rises with increased fury to assail the land. So now 1 am engacie.l in no light drill, practicing for wh-it may coim' over some of your ' souls. It is with some of you wintry midnight and your hopes for this world and the next iiro wrecked. But see! See! Tho lights kindled on the beach, I throw out the lifeline. Haul in, hand over hand! Ah, there is a lifeboat in the surf, which all the wrath of earth and hell cannot swamp, and its captain with scarred hand puts the trumpet to his lips as he cries: "Oh, Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help." But what is the use of all of this if you decline to g-etinto it? You might us well have been a sailor on board that foundering ship of tho Mediterranean when the mariners cut the ropes of the boat and let her fail olr. >T»ttr6* of Altertfca anil to(;rarn6*ft*oni>i ' "iiiJ tfnfii tlta Pot-blffti" I.ciffion. • jUnysY Adam, quotitiga.Hst'of about sixty.'names of-Alsatian and Lor- miners who havo" died, recently in the French colonies while serving ID the foreign legion, makes one'of her patriotic appeals in favor of tho men from the Keichslond who join the French .army, says t'ho London Telegraph-. •. 8he paints in vivid colors the hardships and .perils'whidh these men have to undergo, not only in making their way to the French rb- cruiting dep.ot, but: oven nftor they have boon incorporated in tho ranks. According to Mme, Adam, most of these Alsatians and Lomiiners are mere lads of 17 or 18, sbns of poas-. ants or workmen 6r of fathers who have fought for Fi-an9e in tho'Crimea, in Italy, Algiers, or during tho campaigns' of 1870. The idea of taking- service in tho Prussian, battalions is ' hateful to them, so they savo up their pence in order to escape to Nancy or Lunovillo, where they enlist. Their departure is effected without tho-knowlodgb of their parents, especially of their mothers, who object to their sons joining the French army, as few, if any, of those who do so ever retutn to their blue Alsatian mountains. In order to avoid tho German gendarmes the journey to France is made through iho woods at night. After enlistment tho youths are sent oil to Marseilles or Port Vendrcs, whore they ire embarked with Belgian, Austrian and Prussian deserters, aud at Oran oin tho foreign legion. Here still, according to Mmo. Adam, their real roubles begin. They only know Jorman, as a'rule, and aro therefore landed over'to the not very tender mercies of tho noncommissioned officers who aro Teutons, and have been promoted owing- to their knowledge! of two.-languages. Tho Alsatian.^,, therefore, go from Scylla- to Chary bdis. They are 'robbed and oven ill-treated, one soldier telling- Mme. Aclain that he and his comrades wore under the orders of a Prussian corporal, alleged to bo a most inhuman parson, who afterward deserted because he was suspected us a spy. Furthermore., the young Alsatians, not understanding the ordci-H of their French officers, arc at every moment subjected to undosorvod punishm'onts. Under thc.-:o circumstances it is not surprising if thoir faith in tho French fath^ m-land receives a rude shock by tho time they leave tho depot at Oran for "the outside- garrisons. Mme. Adam promises to give more revelations ou -the same subject. In the meantime the lot of the Alsatian soldier will continue to bo a most unhappy one, as in accordanco with treaty they cannot bo incorporated in tho ordinary regiments of- tho French army and must, therefore, remain in the dreaded foreign legion. To obviate this Mine. Adam suggests tho creation in Alg-oria of an Alsace-Lorraino battalion and she is surprised that no minister of war has ever thought of adopting- such a plan,. FAftM* A SHOOTING MATCH. Why Peculiarities of the Letter Q. The letter Q is a supurfluous alpha- be tic character—a nondescript of the worst sort, and of no more real value in expressing or helping to express our thoughts in writing than one of the Chinese word signs would be. It never ends an English word and cannot begin one without the aid of the letter u, being invariably followed by the last mentioned letter in all words belonging to our languag-o. The man. doesn't live that can tell the "why" of the peculiar relation of the letter q and u, or why the former was given its curious name, Some argue' that its name was applied because of the tail or cue at the bottom of the letter, bufc the original q, when Bounded q'ust as it is tp-day.wws n?ado w^haut4h.o cu,e, jpjjph, the Man With tlio Winchester OUln't I^ilco Such Things. As I rode quickly along the bank of Poor Fork, just where tho Pine mountains begin to let it over to where it joins the Cumberland river, I was stopped by a man sitting on tho fence with his arm in, a sling and a Winchester in his lap, says a writer in the Detroit Free Press. "How d'y," he said; "did you como by Brown's?" "Do you mean tho cross roads back here about live miles?" i asked, much surprised that a mountaineer should ask mo a question first. "Yes, that's tho place." "I stopped there vo have a man nail a whoo on my horse." "Hoar urn say anything about a shootin' match thar yistiddy?" "I hoard them say there had boon one." "I heerd so, too, and I war anxious to find out if it war so. Did you hoar who the shooters \vuz?" "I don't remember the names, but they said only one of tho men had been shot," "Not killed, I reckon?" "No; ho was shot in the body, they thought, but he got away before they found out how much he was hurt, ov just whore." "This is a dogon funny country for ehootin' matches, ain't it?" ho asked with a short laugh. "It looks that way," I replied, cautiously. "Personally, however, I don't think I would enjoy thorn." 'Well, that depends, mister, on. who gits shot." Perhaps it does, but you don't mean to say you enjoy that kind of thing, do you?" 1 reckon I didn't enjoy that ono ycstiddy." Why?" I asked in surprise, were not there, were you?" "Yes. I wuz peekin' 'round a bit." "And why didn't you enjoy it if you staid to see it?" He laughed and held out his band- iged arm. 'I wuz tho follor that got shot," said, and I could at least understand why he hadn't enjoyed that one. A Connecticut wotnan Who Woi-ltA ff&ftf nnd Smoltpn no* lob&etta, Fof seven years Desire Wildo*, woman of about 50, residing 1-Tufth Lyfno, Conn., has managed ana worked a, farm all alone, oxcept in tho busiest seasons. Tho farm ia located in a remote -corner of. Nev# London county, in the middle of a chestnut forest. Desire's father died in 1883, .her mother following three years later, and Desire wa3 thus left alone ift the old homestead. She it a woman of great muscular powoiV and, according to tho New York .Recorder, swings a scythe through a hot day with an case that puts td shame the average farm laborer. She pitches, bay and loads hay; she chops trees in the woods and outs them into firewood iind railroad ties. She plows; harrows and plants her fields, cultivates and harvests the crops, negotiates their sale and d6< livers her produce like a man. Sho raises a good deal of stock. She yokes jind drives cattle and washes .and shears sheep; in fact, she performs all the work necessary in the carrying on of a largo farm. Dur-* ing the teaming- season when the farmers haul wood and ties to tho local market Desire is daily on the road driving 1 from three to five yokes of oken us deftly as an experienced teamster of the opposite sex would. iSluMvill pick up a first-class tie and toss it on tho ox wagon with an ease that would make Sandow open hia eyes, and, although a stocky person, she clambers through the rocky places in the woods -with the agility of ft mountain goat. WLon it cornea to horses she knows all their points, and in a trade she is s^ure . to come away with the long end of a bargain. She is a'"constant, smoker. With this exception her habits aro as exemplary as. those of tho high-toned woman. The common clay pipe sold at th'e country store's for one penny, is her faypritc. and she carries it until it breaks or ia lost, no matter how strong it becomes. .She smokes the strongest kind.- of plusr tobacco, whittling it off ana rolling it in the palm of her hand as cleverly as an old sailor. Desire was man ied when she was 19. It ia tho only romance that has ever como into, her life. Her husband was a young follow named Hoskins, who was employed oil the farm. Ho rather took tho fancy of Desire, and before long a marriage \v..s arranged. The wedding took place, but in tho evening tho bridegroom partook somewhat freely of cider, and as a consequence was soon howling drunk. Tho bride dtd not cry or express any regret. She coolly took her husband out into the yard, thrashed him until he was comparatively sober, and then, tossing him into an arbor, told him to stay there until he was more presentable. That was tho last alio over saw of him. He had evidently had enough of married life, and, although Dejire ia legally Mrs. Hoskins, she insists upon aud is always called by her maiden name. She has accumulated a considerable fortune, and occasionally a man turns up who makes matrimonial overtures to her, but she say.-j that she's satisfied with the husband that she's got somewhere in the world, and if he'll only stay as far away always as ho ia now she will rest content. I/ota of itlon Jlnvo Seen That. Inquiring Boy—And have you seen avalanches in tho Alps? Great Traveler—Yes, my son. "And elephants in Asia?" "Yes." ; "And tigers in Africa?" ; "Plenty of them." i "Ever see a polar boar?" "Several?" "Ever soo any wild monkeys?" "Thousands." "Did you over see a—a polar bear chasin' a elephant with a tiger on hia back and a lot of monkeys laughin' to see a avalanche comin' after 'emP" "you How Cuuiphor Is Camphor is the result of evaporg,t- ng an essential oil found in two dif- erent trees, the cinnumoraum cam- uhoru, which grovVs in China and Tapan, and tho dipterooarpus phora, of Sumatra and Borneo. lufe icitous Queried. He—By tho way, talking of old inies, dq you remember that occasion vhen I made such an awful ass of myself? Why They Moved. Dukane—"Ton must como and see us u our new location." Gaswell—"Have you moved again si soon?" "Yes." "How is that' 1 thought you were da lighted with your house?" "So wa were." "What was the trouble then?" "It didn't suit the hired girl." flillions of House 8 keepers RE daily testV ing Royal Baking Powder by that most infallible of all tests, the test of jiactical use. They find it goes further, makes lighter, sweeter, ' finer-flavored, purer and more wholesome food than any other, and is always uniform in its work. Its great qualities, thus j proven, are the cause of its/ wdnd.erful popularity, its sale' being'greater than that of aj[J other cream of tartar baking «. ...r,<*.„....;«;

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