The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on October 4, 1893 · Page 3
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 3

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Wednesday, October 4, 1893
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THE BBS M01NES ALGO^A IOWA OCTOBER 4, 1803, A MINT. Out Daisy lay down In her white n ghtgowh. bid kissed me again and again On forehead nnd cheek, On lips that could Speak. But found themselves shut to thpir gain. Then foolish, absurd, To utter a word, T asked her the question so old, That wife and that lover, Asked over and over, -As if they were surer when told. There close at her side, "Do you love me?" I cried: •She lifted her golden-crowned head, A puzzled surprises Shone in her gray eyes— "Why, that's why I kiss yoi,." sh2 said. — Globe Democrat. The Actor's Story. BY JOHN CHAPTER VI—CONTINUED. Flora found Jeannie McPherson 'hovering 'twist life and death. The name of tho perpetrator of ihe outrage "was hardly hinted among the servants, but no one dared to speak out. Of ••course. Flora had her own suspicions. "It is an ill-wind that blows nobody good," and it was ^vell for the .ifjirl that her young 'mistress had returned, or McAllister would iliave found that his brutality had betrayed him to murder. Poor Jeannie's sufferings somewhat -diverted Flora's mind from her own trouble. Her first duty now was to her faithful hand-maiden whom she nursed with assiduous tenderness. Next morning at daybreak, when the fishermen went out to cast their nets, they found Curly lying, bathed in blood, where ho had fallen tho night before. Save for some faint pulsation of the heart, ho was to all appearance quile dead. M'Diarmid and three or four of the men carried him to Sandy's cottage, where tho guidwife npplied fomentations, and for hours and hours chafed the frigid limbs till they slowly revived to life, but consciousness and speech had wholly left him. At last they succeeded in forcing a spoonful or two of whiskey and milk down his throat, and thus they kept body and soul togethtr for some days. At length David Donaldson had got the better of his fall, and was for returning to the Ferry. He had a kind heart, had honest Davio. and when ho saw poor Curly in this woful plight he forgave him his own cracic on the head, which was a stinger, and remembered only that Curly had given ihim nine golden s-overeigns. Then ho •volunteered to go to Dundee and •"spring" a guinea for a surgeon. Next day he returned w.th Dr. Dixon. the famous theatrical physician, who recognized Curly instantly, despite his brtterod condition. "Good God!" exclaimed the doctor, "this is an awful business. Concussion of the brain—compound fracture! Who did it? It's murder or manslaughter at the least! No accident here, but a foul blow. Who did it? D' ye hear?" M'Diarmid replied, "De'il o' me kens, or ony o' thae chaps. "We found the puir laddie lying at the foot o' the groat muokle hill, yestreen was a week past" That was all tho information Dixon could obtain. Doubtless M'Diarmid .and Davie had their suspicions as to how the outrage occurred, but they kept their own counsel for tho present. Dixon wasted no time in words. He 'decided that his patient must bo taken to Dundee at once. Without delay the poor fellow was carried down to the coaeh and M'Diarraid and Elspeth accompanied Davie and the doctor, the guidwife tenderly nursing Curly's head upon her lap all the way, and never quitting him till he was safely ensconced in the infirmary. The pool- soul had a son of his age fighting the queen's battles far away in India—so she kissed his fevered brow and muttered : "Puir bairn! It's my heart that's sad for yo. Puir laddie! puir laddie! It's wae for the mither that bare ye." When M'Diarmid led her from tho room she hissed in his ear: "Sandy, 'twas yon mucklo laug loon with the corbie's beak and tho evil eon that did it But he'll never pro=per with tho la-sie, nor with aught else." Curly's case was one that almost billed tho faculty, but Dr. Dixou was not to be beaten; he had made up his mind to save his patient^ and save him he did at last. Perchance it had been better for the poor iellow had ho died then and there. The good Samaritans at the infirmary nursed him by day, watched over him by nij^ht, with unceasing tenderness and c-,n-e, anticipating his every wish, his ev-ery look. Wh^n at length, after months of darkness and delirium, tho light of reasoi, began to dawn; there was general iMJoicing throughout the place, for they had grown to love the poor creature, even as though he were their own kilh and kin. Every morning, when Dr. Dixon came in, his patient's face would light up into the shadow of a smile, and his eye would follow his nurse with a kind of dumb, dog-like gratitude. Though speech was denied him he-could distinguish all that was said to him, and it was quite touching to see him gently take tho hand of nurse or doctor, and kiss it with some of the old grace. When at length Jeamuo M'Pherson recovered she could scarcely recognize her b'wutiful young mistress in tfeo stern, gray woman to whom she owed her life. As soon as she was able to speak coherently Flora insisted on tlio truth. When the girl told her, all Flora's anger against M'Allisler ripened into openly avowed indignation, nnd tho estrangement between father ant! child was complete. As for Deompster, she had always disliked him. now she positively loathed ihe sight of the man. lie was a constant visitor, but whenever he entered the room she loft it— whenever he sat down to table she i rose and quitted it without a word. t One day the '.wo men had been together, and M'AUiater brought the other In to dinner. As soon as Flora saw him she rose and turned toward the door. ••bide a wee Flora," said M'Allis- ter. ".t's lime to put a stop to this nonsense. You may as well accustom yourself to Strathmines' company, because I've given my word that you are to he his wife." "And Mr. Doompster?" she inquired, coldly. "Why, look here, Flora" replied Dan'l. At the sound of his voice she drew .herself up disdainfully. "Sir." she said, "I have already given my father ah answer, but evidently he has not been frank with you. I shall never marry. If my marriaee could save the world and all that is in it from destruction, you are the last man on earth that 1 could ever call husband. Gracious God!" she cried, bursting out, "can this creature not see how I hate him? I loathe the very sound of his voice. His sight is poison to me. For you, sir." she said, turning to her father, •if ever you suffer this man to obtrude himself on me again 1 quit your roof the next moment." fc:ho then left the room. From that time forth she confined herself to her own apartments; except for her faithful Jcannie, she was always alone. So. after all their scheming, after all their violence, it had come to this: Three lives blighted, two hearts broken, and the Laird of Strathmines further off than ever from the onoob- •Anyhow. you may be quite stiroOf me thing." said Dixon. -The blow ,hat nearly bludgeoned your friend out of life came from a loaded weapon of some sort" If I live," said the other. "Ill find it out. I know the man—he may escape the law. but." and he &et his Lceth, • he shall not escape ma It may not be to 'day, nor to-morrow, nor next week—but sooner or later, I'll have it out with him as sure as my name's Willie Jamioson." And so the matter dropped for the present The doctor gave Curly a composing draught and next day ho began to maud again, though slowly. At the end of a week Willie had to return to Aberdeen to wind up the season and to take his benefit When he. told Curly that he must go, ho moaned piteously. ••You're not going to leave me so soon?" But he was reassured when Willie told him that he would return in a fortnight. When Jamieson got back to Aberdeen, he recalled the mysterious lady. Ho understood well enough now who she was. So ho went straight to M'Alllstor house, and asked to see Flora. Ho encountered the old man, who was characteristically insolent and demanded to know "what the blazes ho wanted with his daughter," A little insolence went a long way with Jamieson. who could bo dangerous when he was angered, and Mr. M'AHistcr concluded it was best to be civil, and even vouchsafed the infor- AUTUMN SUNSHINE. FLOTSAM AND THE Si-A JOTSAM OF WIT. AND How a Careful Father Snvert HU I)n«gli- j tcr From nn Awful Cnttistroph«— Unclo Ucubcn in CItlrneo—A IVlto J'rociiution—flouting; Humor. A Itrrtliiy Chnniplon. Mrs. Stvongmind—As the editor of ft creat newspaper, and a leader of public ooiniiiu, I hope von take some in- teivst in the subject of emanc pation of woman. Great Editor (with enthusiasm)— Indeed I do, nmdaine. I have just monlcn t finished a two-column Ho In Goliifj. Friend—Ooing to the World's Fair? Country Editor—Going? Of couse. I'm going. The ide i of a leader of public op niou in this great and glorious republic missing a mighty national enterprise like that! I . sent for my tickets months ngo. Got tickets for everybody excej i my wife's Aunt Nancy, and she's afraid of the cars. I've got passes from here to Swamp- town, but there scenn to be a hitch of some kind on the other roads. They've article filled with anathemas against , tight lacing and heavy skirts. A St.one Constitution. Milters—Talk about strong constitutions, my neighbor Whitl'ers beatt any one I ever saw. Differs—That man! You must bo daft, lie's been bedridden for ten years. WhirEers—Yes, but he's tried all the known remedies for his disease and he's alive yet. A Business Henri. Old Uullion (on his death bed)—All my property is willed to you. but I'm afraid, my children by my first wife some kind on the other roads, -iney ve | ainuu. my eniiuri.-.. »„. •••.. •••»» •• ••been reading- my anti-monopoly edi- I will make a contest, and then tliolaw- iecton which ho had centied his > mation that his daughter had gone to *' . - _ - . -r^ i ;... 1-.. ...-1* ** >* «i »* I ni +• 4-rt nn t* «i M n r. hopes, in this world and the next CHAPTER VII. Good Samaritans. Six months and more had elapsed since Willie and Curly had parted. Jamieson thought it strange, alter all Donald's iDrotestations, that ho had never once written, and the soft place iu his heart grew sore. At length the time arrived for the return of the company to Aberdeen. One day. taking a solitary ramble in the neighborhood of the Gairloch liead, the young tragedian encountered a lady' and her ma.'d driving in an open pony carriage. She looked at him, and bowed; be bowed agaU as she passed out of sight The face evoked an impression—not a recollection. Yes, he had seen a face somewhere like that before. Could it be? Pshaw! No. This woman was sternor and older—she was twenty years older—and yet, how the face haunted him! Next morning he found a letter on the breakfast table, it was an official looking document, written on blue paper. On the outside page was printed in bold characters, "Royal Infirmary, Dundee." The superscription was in a strange hand. Eagerly tearing open the envelope, he read these six words: ••Dear Willie—Come to me. Curly." Feeble and indistinct as were the characters, there was no mistake about the writer. Without waiting for food or anything else Willie ran down to Johnston's lodgings, showed him the letter, and asked leave of absence. The manager, who was not without just cau:0 for complaint against Curly for "bolting" at a moment's notice, and leaving him in the lurch, said: "Go, my lad—go at once. There's something wrong, depend on't. Do you want any tin?" ••Well, I'm not all over money, sir, and I may want something when I get to Dundee." "Well—take ten pounds. Will that be enough?" "Quite enough." "Stop. Should you need any more, send for it, and tell the youns; beggar that the old berth is open to him if he likes to come back. Goodby, and good luck to you. Drop mo a line as soon as you see how the land lies, and take a week's leave of absence. I'll play 'Macbeth to-night and arrange the business for the reat of the week without you." Next morning, by 11 o'clock, Jamieson was at the infirmary in Dundee. Dr. Dixon told him, as far as he knew, all that had happened, then they went to the invalid's room together. They found him sleeping tranquilly—but oh, so changed—so worn and wasted—the sight went to Willie's heart. When poor Curly awoke he looked up, their eyes mot, there was a convulsive movement about the mouth and the muscles of the throat, then he gasped out the first articulate words ho had uttered for months. ' "Willie, dear old chap, I knew you'd come." With that ho put his wasted arms around the other's neck, nnd burst out crying like a child. The doctor blew his nose till it resounded like a speaking trumpet, and withdrew, leaving orders for the two young men to be left alone. Thanks to his iniluence. they slept in the same room, so that they were not separated night nor day during his short visit After that T/'urly's recovery, though still slow, «?as certain. Jamieson was. of course,' anxious to know what had really occurred since their parting, and how it was that the accident or outrage had happened. One day he broached the subject, but at the mere mention of Flora's name the other loll into a paroxysm of grief, which was not only terrible to behold, but caused a rolapse of so serious a character as to be attended with great danger. That morning, when Dr. Dixon came ho found his patient trembling, convulsed and speechless. The work of months had boon undone in an instart. ••What's up?" ho inquired. When Jamieson explained, he grunted. ' "Qh, a woman, of course. I might have known that; there always is a woman! That explains tha rest There is a man, then, doubtless —another man—and ho it is who has smashed this poor lad's skull. D'yo ken the murdering thief?" "I think I do." replied Willie, "If I were sure of it! if only I were sur» of it" torials, I reckon, and feel riled; but never mind—that won't stop me. I'm going; yes, sir. I'm going; and I'll start with the whole family, the foreman, both printers, and the oflice boy, just as quick as I can arrange with the railroads and hotels to take their pay in porous plasters aud liver pills. A direful Father. Edinburgh on a visit to her aunt Upon the subject uppermost in both men's hearts they did not even touch. Jamieson departed in an evil mood to seek Dcempster's house. Fortunately for the Laird of Strath mined, ho, too. had gono to Edinburgh. At length it was time to return to Dundee for the commencement of the season. Thanks to the consideration of the doctor and the house surgeon, the rules and regulations of the infirmary were relaxed in favor of their patient, and all tlie members of the company , men, women and children—were permitted to come and see him, bringing little presents of flowers and the like. These visits, instead of fatiguing, brought him daily fresh breaths of life from the outer world, and ho began to rally rapidly. [TO BE CONTINUED.] eat THE ART OF FASCINATION. tlin Customer—Give me two packages cigarettes, please, Dealer (wishing to offer inducements)—This is the best brand. In each package you will find one of those very spicy photographs— Customer (horrified)—Heavens, man! Give me some other kind. These are for rny daughter!—Puck. yers will got it. ' Young Wife—Don't worry, my love; I can easily fix that. I'll marry one ol the lawyers* A Iliul Suspicion. Guest (in cheap restaurant)—That's queer. I ordered three dishes and you are out of alt Waiter—It's very Inte. sah. Guest (suspiciously)—Not .saving em for yourself, oil? Waiter (haughtily)—I don't hcah, sail. A nionoy ninkor. Eastern Maiv— .Making any money in Doom City'.' Western Man—N-o! been losing like sixty: but 1 have hopes, great hopes. Expect to be rolling in wealth next year. "Some new enterprise, I suppose' "N-o, not exactly. 1 expect to be elected sheriff "—New York Weekly. linploiiBiint Uiifortnlnly Mother—That big dog your undo sent you needs exercise. Why don you take him with, you any nn.ro when you go out? Little Johnny—'Cause Wen a bo JUST LIKE A HOTE1- ii of tlio Rnlironil l.ntrsi C'nr.x. Till n K In It Must I5o Cultivated Ktirly and in Home Circle. The secret of fascination is one which many women would sacrifice a great deal to learn. To cultivate a charming and attractive manner one must begin at home, and surely a better school could not bo devised, for the train ing is, in its way. perfection. Here you are sure to find each day little rubs which must be smoothed with skilful touch: there is a constant mind friction going on even among the most devoted members of the household. It is a painful fact, though none the less true, that one's family acts as a constant counter-irritant Now a steady elTort to smooth over the rough places, minister to wounded hearts and with deft touches erase unpleasant memories is called for, and she who obeys those summons is pretty sure to find herself full able to cope in the most agreeable fashion with th<?, outside world. Few women, however, realize that a fascination of manner is not born, but cultivated. Jt begins to bud in the nursery, developes under the skil- full training of painstaking instructors, and blossoms forth into oompleto beauty in the society of well-bred women. —Philadelphia Record. Doubtful Imagination sometimes creates difficulties, and sometimes, but not often, it helps to overcome them. A maiden lady, living at a fashionable watering-place on the Western coast o)' England, is said to have had u, grea'i curiosity to see Napoleon. When ho was a prisoner on hoard the Ballerophon tossing in Tor Bay, she braved tho dangers and discomforts incidental to a trip in a small fishing boat on a windy day in order to get a look at tho captive, who had "whipped tho world." On returning to shore late in tha evening, exhausted but rejoicing, she was asked by a less enterprising friend if she had really seen "the monster." To this question tho enthusiastic spinster replied by lifting up eyes and hands in fervent gratitude to heaven, i>.nd exclaiming: ••Yos, thanks for the sight! At least," she continued dropping her voice to a doubtful mutter, "I believe I almost saw his eoattails." — Youth's Companion. A Kasltet lit l!io niuttllieiult ' When a sailing master wishes to buy oysters in the ports of tho Chesapeake ho runs up to the masthead an. oyster basket, and presently haci plenty offered at tho vessel's side. Down at (Jhincotoague Island the basket at the masthead is sometimes accompanied by a Hag of concentric squares in different colors. Durinsr the closed season for oysters the basket and the ilag indicate that the master wishes to buy clams. Tho Chln- coteague clam digger works during tho greater part of tho year, and a very spry man in a spot where clams are thick can tread out a great many hundred in a day. Cla.ms fetch from $1 to ipl.oO per 1, 000 at Chincoloague, which seems a great deal for tho money when on« thinks of clam chow* der at a fashionable restaurant A Feminine Trait. "You ortn't to put them pieces o' money in yer mouth, Swipsey," said the newsboy. ••Why not?" demanded the bootblack. ••'Coz it ain't manly. V't makes >er look like u woman fidiu 1 on a car. "—Chicago D^ity Tribune, T-lnd Ho Spoken 7 Will Gitthere—I want to ask you, sir, for your daughter's hand. Old Gold—Have you asked her for it yet? ' Will Git'here—No, sir. I thought better to speak to you tirst. Old Gold—And supposing I should refuse my consent? Will Gitthere—In that case, sir, she assures rue slie will elope. Deep Prejudice. First Amateur—Why don't you join our yacht club? > Second Amateur—I'm afraid I might get, put on the measuring committee. " U'hat difference wouid that make? Measuring is easy." "Yes, but you've got to add a lot of measurements together and then extract the square root. I'd rather not sail than extract a square root. Strange t'hiuicn. Fair Patron—See .here! You told me a horrid story about the way my husband was acting, and I've found, on investigation, that it is not true. He's just as good as can be. Fortune Teller—Very remarkable, madame, very remarkable. I've told that same story to about ten thousand different women, and you are the first one who has made a complaint. Dangi-r of Kainous Guests. Little Dick—Mamma says Hon. Mr. Bighead was coinin' here to dinner. Who is he? Dick's Father (impressively)—The Hon. Mr. Bighead is a great man, a very great man. Little Dick (reflectively)—I hope folks won't laugh at him for comin 1 to see us. acts polite, l" never can tell whetho he's 'fi-aid of me or 'fraid ol the dog. f«lin Cnusml Jt. Spencer—And was it the fact tha Charlie Gayboy and Mr-. Giddiwui came on the name boat which causec all the scandal? Ferguson—No; it was the fact tha, Chai-li'j's mother-in-law also happened to be on the same boat. Ho DcdorvoB TliiiiikK. Jitnson—I see that ladies are beginning to tako tneir hats off at theaters. Biluon—YDS, some bright genius stai-Ud ihe theory that women kept their h.its on because their hair was frowzy. , . A now departmv !n coiivfiiloncoa 0<f illroad rravol is nit exhibition nt the 'nrk sipi'ii'io stntinn tt( tin 1 Old Colony rst( % ni. and It is attract!:);: the fTrnoral nr.mi luliitfmr of vnilron.l invn and trnv- lors, says the Boston llcrnld. It is train of four lintel ears,- built from hins perfected liy Kupt. K, O. Allen, f the (Hd Colony system, rfntl combfn- ig a remarkable, number of novel forat- tvs for the eonvoiiieiU'i- :ind luxury C traveler*, while tlwir style ami tinisli r« nil tliiit.' cii.n be desired. Kaeh ear * a completely equipped hotel.. The orriilor, from end to end, is :i ?.\g-zt\g T esultlni; In eentuwiy uC suuec atul <freut- r width to (he staterooms mi i>ither •.hie.; There are sixteen nl' these' rooms, •anh designed for two pel-sons, with, ireiierous seats, mirrors, lavatory., lug- 'Mjie. rueks ami drawers; independent i.a'hl and ventilation. Imokease. sal'ivfor valuables, etc. 'I lie klteheu is in the niddle of the env. and Its ranges, ieo •hests and lockers are below the lloor,. •esulthiK in great, economy ol' spae.o. Knell room has its own taltlivfor t\v<>t mil with two cooks and two 1 porters' in eaeh ear. Us oeeiipanls can all lw promptly and satisfactorily served nt )iice. There is no Iravelltii: the length' )f the train to a dinini: ear. and niv wailing for a place at'tlie table. Kvery- thliifj is co/y and convenient, and it' a couple choose tn spend hull' the- forenoon over their breakfast no one elscv has occasion to complain. The sunns-Is true nf the entire use of-tho room. Tluv occupants can be as secluded as- ill a hotel chamber, with none to- molest or make nfriild. Kuril room lins Ihe ordinary two sleepin.tr berths, but: instead of: Ihe seml-|uil)licily and stuffy curtains ol' the ordinary sleeper., there is absolute, privacy obtained by wooden partitions, whllo much Ingenuity has been exercised to secure the maxiiminr of comfort in the wuy of light and ventilation. With the train is si'combina- tion cur for smokers Miiil ; l)!i.«:i;,'e. and in this is a dynamo• which furnishes electric lights in curli room. 'The cook- hitf is done by gas. Mini si cam heal from the locomotive is conveniently supplied. JEWELS IN A TURTLE'S BACK. Wasteful method. An Important Department. Little Dot—Where you been? Little Dick—I went down town with pana, to call on the street cleaning department. Little Dot—What's that? Little Dick—It's a place where they tell people why the streets are not cleaned. Civilization and Harbnrlmn. Sunday School Teacher—As you have traveled a great deal, perhaps you can explain to the class the difference between civilised and barbarous countries. Little Misa — Yes'rn. In civilixed countries we is polite to folks in our set, but in barbarous countries wo has to be polite to everybody. A Wise I'rocautiou. Mr. Oaklot (to pile driver operator) —I'll bet ye a three months' calf that I c'd pull up them there stumps in half the time ye can driv j 'em down.—Puck. A Fruiilc of Nature. Small Boy—The museum man says they've got, a freak of nature there. AVn't's that ' •i'i'ed Mother-I don t know. Possibly it's -i little boy who isn't forever getting into miscliL-f.. I.lkod Her Playing. Little Boy—I'd good deal rather see you go to the pia.no than Miss De Thumper that mamma jus' asked. Fair Guest (delighted)—Would you, really? Why? , , Little Boy—Cause you only know two pieces. A Discovery. City Bov.—Is n't it funny to see that garden, full of water.melons? Farmer—What is there funny about it? City Hoy—Why, 1 always thought they grew in ponds, like water-lilies. No Use For Wntor. Wife (severely)—Is this the fish you caught? Husband—Y-e-s, m dear. Wife (shrewdly)—Were you fishing in salt water or fresh water? llu-band-—I—1 don't know, in'doar. Didn't taste it. And He Did. Mabel—Jack told mo last night that he wanted to kiss mo. Flossie—The forward wretch! What did you say? Mabel—1 told him 1 had heard ho always had his own way. riu- ISxtriivnu-iuii Kri-nk of a ulrc Mvlnw in JVi'vr York: Stiilo. Ill my journeying "vor this fair, land. I have run across some; vnry strange Jails Indulged in by people who have plenty of money and who have used it in the gratification of fnndes that have not benefited tlu> world in tho least, says a correspondent of the Globe- Democrat. 1 have mot stamp collectors and pug dog flinders; mim with a mania, for accumulating walking canon; oiu'o I know a man who had spent hundreds of dollars in getting up a collection of historical hats covering two centuries; bill; n jeweler at .Buffalo told me about; :i, millionaire of that, vicinity who should certainly have the highest pointed crown hut in my friend's collection. About, a month ago this millionaire walked into a jeweler's plnco with a, common land turtle or tortoise, which he had captured in the woods near by, laid it on the counter and gave a most, astounding order, remarking: "I'll give the people .soinet.hi.ng to talk about." And ho certainly did, for ho ordered the shell of the nirtlo to bo on- criisied on its outer i.-dgo with a. heavy layer of gold on ICIrusean finish. In the center of Us horny back ho ordered an emerald to Im placed. At various points in the gold ho had inserted small but it urn diamonds. A massive silver chain was attached to tho shell. At. his magnificent country seat the or- I'atic millionaire had constructed, on lilo lawn a reproduction in rocks, bushes aud ferns of the spot from which the tortoise had boon taken. In this place, which the rich man calls a "turtlour- ini.n," the highly decorated reptilo Is, pennil toil to roam tho length of his silver chain. It looks as though tlio financial stringency had not struck this man of" means, and his neighbors are- now wailing for him to have the houses ol' his cattle gold plated, his. hordes, shod with silver and diamond diops placed in the oars of his fancy, pigs,. Husband—Why, Amelia! What does that mean? \Yifa—I've been suffering so much with sore throat lately, dear, that i thought I had better wear a boa for protection.—Puck. Shrewd, but 1'olito. Lady (on winclv day)—This window sticks so 1 can't get it up. Gentleman (behind)—Mine works easily, madame Allow me to exchange seals with you.—New Weekly. • York An Accounting. Van Demmit—Rather poor house tonight, eh? Manager—Yes; poor but honest. A a passes were given to night. j Plenty of Closets. I Lady—lias that suburban house you ' speak of plenty of closets? Agent—Dozens, ma'am. All the upstairs bedrooms will do for closets. It was built for a summer hotel, ma'am. (,>ulto I'robublUf Wnylund—Ho must be a good artist when his pictures sell so well. Willing—Not necessarily. . He may IDC a good salesman. Thought Him a Speeder, Little Miss (at the play)—Who is that man who bends over so w'en ho walks? Mother—That's King Richard. Little Miss-Is that his bicycle suit? ^,c mutter of C-onveuloiu.'o, . Visitor—So your name is Winifried? For whom were you named? . , Little Win—Jus' for myself, so I'd know, when I was called. 1'itrlN Siiii-DinlM.. There wore many sun-dials in Paris; hi tho eighteenth century, but thoy wore little used. Fashion singled out the sun-dial of tho I'lilula Iloyul, and every day at noon this was tlio center of Interest, of tin eager crowd,. A writer of that period says: "1 saw u grout, crowd in a» corner• off tho Palais Iloyul gurduiiy Ktanding: motionless, their noses in tho air. I inquired what was tho sensation.. It seemed that they wero waiting.for noon and each had Ids watch in his hand; ready to set it, nt 1U o'clock. " When 11m duke of Orleans, was altering tho palace in 17Si>, the Parisians wore much disturbed, thinking Liiat they wero In bo deprived ot their i'uvurke- sun-diul. Bui. tho iluku not' only preserved the sun-diul, ho added tu It a little powder magazine which was so ummgcd that it exploded when tho sunlight fell upon it, and thus uotilied every one who heard it that it was the 'hour of noon. Later a, cannon which was discharged by tlio HUH at noon took (ho place of tho little powder inuguziuo. Bull'ou arranged an Ingenious dial in- tho botanical girden. A globe which represented tho earlh was suspended by u hair. This hair was burned through by tho sun at noon, and Iho globe fell upon a ('hineso gong. SnlviiiK ilic- Trump 1'robleiii. A Kansas woman r.'iio has boon elected police justice of her clt.y has adopted n novel solution of tho tramp problem. Tho iirst tramp who was brought before her for jiulgiuoiit was sentenced, to two baths a day for ten days and to hard labor on Ilie^stono pile, with tho order that ho shouM Ins fed If he worked and starved If In- shirked. Tho prisoner survived tlii ouleul, but now tho iirst question a I;WJ\\TL asks ou 'ippvo'.iching a Ivausr.y i-: >vu is whether the 'liollco Justice ^ t u™" <H' 'ft womuii.'—Milwaukee ft

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