Page 6 article text (OCR)
THE unfttite.- . TOWA. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9. 1892 1 MuFngfh's Flat. Ito h'y". It's not often ye'Il iicnr l te complafn- in'. And It's sorry I nm tlmf mp ftnrr is timie; tar )v'ry man knows It's. no( dneent o mnnly s IV) go back nn A fi'i'rul that has stud up fe yon. But I'll pit satisfaction before I'm ra'ucl older, To niny gamble ycr life, or mo nnmo Ian' Put. Fer I can not bo alsy, I'm aln ost turned crn/.y By the ulrs of McFagin, that 1 vca In the lint. When we both were at homo in th« townlanc tosctlicr, In tho very same spot where Ills irlfo was dnurjrLit tip. Sure the fftct wns well known that my people lind t.llnty. Wlille Mi'Kasrln Just worked for the bit an the sup. With a goat tit the duro and a pig In tho corner, With a rusty dudhebn stlckin' out of his tint— . ' If ho shaped himself hero ns I've seen htm In Jit'luti'l, •• • FalUi, he'd frighten the people that lives In the lint. In the jruttcrs up In Harlem wo paddled anc waded Through water and mud, like a pair av ouW snipes. Till the Aldherman's brother—for some cause or other— App'lntcd McFnfrln upon tbo bin: pipes. Ah, the liitrs he put on—yo would scarcely be- llcre It!— In lisa than a fortnight wo had a big 8|mt. But with all his loud bonstln', his rantln' an tons tin', I never wance dhramed that he'd move to a flat I Now he wears a b'lled shirt an' a chokcaway collar; His son keeps his feet brushed, an runs n mustache, , With a Btcp like an ape b<* glides out Ir'ry ercnln', . An' he's known to iho galrls as a half-wiuwl mash. The fat daughter Jane has set up for a beauty,— She's as broad as a toad, an' as blind us a bat.— When at church she meets people, s!m tanks at the steeple— She's tfonu up BO high sinso she's lived In a llut. Well, they'll while lunger. stay where they are for a llttie placo with their Then they'll move from tho • IlllKnntcliin; For their In-ulur, Ulg Casey, is knocked out in Hinders— Sure 1 knew he'd be beaten ns sure as he ran. But the man that wo backed, he was nobly Illictwl.— That myself did tho business, he gives In to that.— On thu first of the month whin me sons gits app'lntcd. Faith 1 there's somebody else 'It move into the tint. —George E. Dcvyr, In Puck. MY WIFE'S LEGACY. ."I don't like to calculate upon such things," observed my wife, "but if Aunt Jane were to die I should not be a bit surprised if she left us that old- fashioned set of silver that belonged to my great-grandparents." Out of consideration for the printer I will omit indications of tho emphasis with which she usually spoke. If the reader will kindly consider every second word printed in small caps or italics he will have some faint idea of her manner of expressing herself. "It is a very handsome set," I returned, glancing about our modest dining room, "and will hardly accord with our furniture." "It wouldn't look at all well with that sideboard." returned my wife promptly. "It is so dreadful shabby — oh, of course I mean the sideboard, not the silver; don't be so smart." "I suppose, then, if such a thing were to happen, you'd have to have a now sideboard." She nodded complacently. "I saw such a lovely one down town to-day; antique oak, beautifully carved. I do admire oak so much." "But thi! rest of the furniture is walnut.," I objected. "Walnut is altogether out of style, especially for dining rooms," she replied, with a disdainful glance at the chairs which we had OIKIO found very good to look at; "and, after all, the siduboitnl is by sq much tho most expensive picBO of furniture in a dining room that it doesn't cost, much more to get (t whole sot tlmn just that one pVbue. And oven a walnut sideboard. new, would not look well wif.h those chairs and this table." I paid nothing, and tho tacit tnirren- der was accepted by my wife. Thenceforth it was understood that if Aunt Jane should bequeath us tho silver we were to purchase a new set of dining- room furniture. Tho next evening, as wo wore again at dinner, my wife remarked: "I have been looking at carpets today, and saw o'no that just suits mo; rich and subdued, you know, but not dingy." "Carpet*," I repeated in some surprise. "I didn't know that there one needed thi* season." "Why, stupid," rejoined my wife, petulantly (and tho emphasis was all upon the p«v, name), "did wo not agree that tho dining-room must bo refurnished? And this carpet is so old and worn of course it would not do at all with new furniture." Again I acquiesced silently, and she proceeded to make plans for meotiii" mo the next day to examine anil choose tho carpet and furniture to be purchased later on. Woll, if my wife'? relations loft her handsome silver 1 must, of course, provide things in keeping with it. She mot me according to appointment, and, having inspected the articles, gave mo to understand that m\ taste was so 'execrable as not to merit a moment's consideration, and announcing her own choice, suggested coolly: "And now lot's go look at the wall paper." "Wall paper?" I echoed, blankly. "Of course; the room must bo ro papered if it is refurnished. As for the woodwork, I suppose there is no help for that;. it will just have to be ro- graiued. Can they make that natural wood finish on wood that has been pain ted P" I stared aghast; that silver wus "fling to cost me a pretty sum. But I was helpless, entirely so; my wife had made up her mind. That evening she was much elated at tho prospect of being surrounded by such things as she had that dav selected. There was but one cloud on nor horinon. not were not contracnctea she wouia pursue the subject further. Vain hope! She hail fbcod it in her own mind that silence gave consent, and when I came home the next evening had assumed that the parlors were to be newly fitted. "Don't you think," she said, coaxingly, "that as long as the parlors and dining-room arc to be torn up, and we are to have the painters and paperhangers here, we might as well have the whole bouse done? It would be very little more trouble, and then it would all look nice together. 1 " "It would be considerably- more expensive," I remonstrated, faintly. "You might draw the money out of the Itiiildnifr Association." slio oner. Bested, and tnen i Knew tnat our savings in that institution were doomed. Aunt Jane lingered a long time* In justice to my wife I must admit she had become oblivietis of the fact that all these improvements depended upon a legacy which could only be possessed after the death of her venerable relative. A day or so after she had decided that the house was to bo thoroughly renovated my wife said to mo: "I have been examining tho parlor carpets, and I find that by using the best parts of both, and buying a wide border, I can got quite -a new carpet for our bed-room, absolutely unworn." "Indeed!" I remarked, with pleased surprise: tht.-ro was one thing that she would not want anyhow. "Yes, and the carpet that is now on it has enough good to coVor the chil- dri:i>'s room, if" I put the worn part under the boil. Or may bo I'd bottot put that on the spare room," she added, r-'i'.octively. "and give that one to tho children. Theirs getfi such hard wear Hint an old one will not last any time hirdly." 1 sa d nothing, but felt greatly relieved. As long as we dont have to buy a •Jedroom carpet," she remarked insinuatingly, "don't you think we could afford a now set of furniture?" "No, I don't," I returned, savagely; whereupon she burst into tears and called mo a heartless monster. To pacify her, I had to promise tho furniture, together with a now silk and a sealskin, that the mistress of the house might be as fine as her dwelling. "It does seem a shame," she said, a tew days afterward, "to spend so much money on this house. -That's very 'landsome and expensive paper that ive looked at, and to substitute 1 an archwav for tho folding doors will cost something"—this was tho first that I lad heard of the archway—"and'then those lovely^ carpets cut up to lit these small rooms, too." "Yes, it is a shame," I replied.hardly irediting'my sense. Xot all had been ost, although much had been in danger. "I'm so glad that you think so," re- ;urued my wife, briskly; "I was sure that you would agree with me that it would be wiser for us to find a house that suits us bettor, and buy right away. Real estate is cheap now, they say—there's so much in.,the market." She tried to put on a knowing look; f she had known half as much about that subject as about managing me, I should have felt impressed. As it was ! weakly objected: ' , . • . My dear, I don't know where in the vorld I could got tho money to buy a arger and better house, any house at ill in fact." . .: . "You could sell this," she replied, nothing daunted. "But if real estate is a drug on the narkot I do not want to sell," I re- orted, thinking puimingly to turn her own weapon upon herself. "There are those shares of stock, hen." "But that stock is going up daily; if i wait six months I can got double what it would'bring now; or hold it and draw big interest on my investment." "Well, what else are you going to <i.^P You .said yourself that wo must ha^o a larger and better house." Thereupon I mentally bade a regretful farewell to the stock and tho money which I had ftxpoctod to pocket by holding it. My. wifo occupied her leisure time for the next three weeks in looking for a residence which should bo in all respects suitable for tho furniture wo wero going to buy. What she would desire next I could not guos-j, unless she should become thoroughly dissatisfied with me. At the end of tho period mentioned I carno homo one evening to find her in tears. MISSING LINKS. The Penobscot Indian tribe now numbers only 386 members, and this is a gain of nine during the year. , . Ancient monuments show that the cultivation of wheat had been established in Egypt before the invasion of the shepherds. The .jeweler has drills so small that they can bore a hole r'-only one-' thousandth of an inch in diameter through a precious stone. •'-' It is a common sight among the Es- quimaux, according to • it traveler's story, to see" a nursing infant with a quid of tobacco in its-nibnth. In the lust seven and:'twenty years the number of students' attending Scotch universities has more than doubled; for in 1890 it; was 7,000"odd. Venezuela has 'lifty-six holidays every year. On these occasions the people close their stores, and . enjoy themselves in chicken lights liiid other tropical amusements. The giraffe is now threatened with permanent extinction. Ten year's ago herds of seventy p and eighty could be found where thirteen would be an exceptionally large herd. • The mother of a Kansas -City, Mo., baby is sixteen years old, its grandmother thirty-three, and its great- grand mother is but fifty-two years old. All reside ih' the same house, The low volcanic island which rose so suddenly out of the sea near .Palermo, and. from which lire was emitted, has entirely disappeared, even the water that covers it having ceased to boil. The largest gas meter in the world belongs to the South Metropolitan Gas Company, of Salisbury, England. It is about 256 feet in diameter and is capable of holding 8,000,000 elibic feet of gas. When a Missouri cabbage was cut open it was found that the outer coating contained twenty-eight perfectly developed little heads in a cluster, about the size of a walnut and nearly ,as hard. , ..' At a communion service in a Hanwell pauper school a little girl who had chare of the chalice dr »"'! was "The dining-room will bo nicer than the parlors" she remarked, plaintive!?!,. 1 , !U ! 1 , llfl :: lkl H«»t "">y will really look shabby. I said nothing, eally hoping that if she "Aunt Jane's dead," she sobbed; "the poor old lady died this morning. I have just como from her house." As Aunt Jane had boon at the point of death for the past six months, I was hardly surprised to hear this bit of no,vs. 1 did my best to com fort my wif«, however, and comported myself lil'.o a dutiful nophow-in-law at tho mournful ceremonies following tho do.vth. When I returned homo the day after the funeral my wife mot me at tho door, her face Hushed, hor oyos blazing. "What do you suppose that old crank has done?" sho demanded. "What old crank?" I inquired won- doringly. "Why, Aunt Jane, of course." "I'm sure I don't know," I returned mildly; "but you should remember! my dear, that—" "Oh,I know she's dead. Sho wouldn't give hor things away under any other circumsliincos. She's loft mo $100 in cash, and that dear old silver to my second cousin, John Scott, llo'll sell it and spend every cent on liquor and cigars and horses. I know ho will." -Thou the blaze in hor eves was quenched by a Hood of tears. I did my best to soothe hor. but inv cIVorK were useless. 1 assured her that if nor cousin sold tho silver we would buy it. "I don't want-it," she declared; "I won t have it"—very vehemently— and I won't got a single new thin" in t ho house, or a new dress, or that seal- 8km. or anything. I'll j ast stay here things as they aro, p.nd John charge of the chalice dropped it, and somo of the wine was spilled on her pinafore. Tho chaplain ordered the pinafore to be burned. A fine'deposit of asbestos has been discovered in Jackson County, Oregon. It is pronounced by eastern experts to be of the very best quality. The machinery for cleaning, baling and shipping will soon bo put in. • Tho now emigrants to Palestine are worthy Germans and Jews. Tho I'orm'or confine themselves to cultivating tho soil: the latter get the fellaheen to do their farm work and take life easy under tho shade trees. A healthy girl of seventeen who devotes herself to hospital work will die iweuty-four and one-Jialf years sooner than a girl of the same ago in tho gen- jral population. This is supposed" to be du« to her liability to tuberculosis. The following advertisement appears in several leading papers of Georgia: Wanted—A young lady for clerk of "he County Court of Klbort County; it will bo necessary for her to marry the county judge. Address County Judge, Elbcrton, Ga." There is grim humor in one clause in the will of the lato Solomon Abrahams, of Boston. After making a number of charitable bequests tho testator remarks: "I remember all my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandfathers, but 1 give, them nothing." Florida is probably tho best timber- ad state in the union. Out of about 88,i):j:),000 acres only somo 3,000,000 an; included in farms, the rest, nino- tL'on-twentiotlis, exclusive of tho area covered by lakes and rivers, being covered with heavy forests. It would s"em that tho ladies of the harem posso.ss a wonderful capacity for disposing of swool: things. France alone last year exported to Turkey and Egypt for the harems 1,000,000 francs' (£0'4,000) worth of fondants, pralines and marrons ceats a-funnel containing an umorella which might be used without extra charge on wet days. The only condition attached to its employment was the modest request that it should bo replaced., A movement to abolish the "annoy- ino-. ano.jhronisra" of church bell nng- iti? is talked of in San Francisco. The •Report of that city contends that the theatres have as good a right to use steam whistles as the churches have to use bells, more especially as the theaters would .not, in announcing their performances, awake people before daylight in the morning. Dr. Leo Pribyl says that the Germans and Swedes are iitiliwnu' t.lipir peat. Dogs in ttie manufacture ot nap- thia, tar, solar oil, parafline, acetic acid and gas, and tho peat yields an elastic fiber which, freed from dust is employed for weaving into carpets. Good peat also furnishes .a* cellulose, which is Valuable to papermakers. Besides serving as a Wholesome litter for live stock, it is also used to preserve, perishable goods. Meat and fish are now packecl in peat litter for transport between Trieste and Copenhagen. The lato Ebehezer F., Bowditch, of Boston, had a large farm at Framingham and on it was the largest Hock of sheep in Massachusetts. He was con- spicious as a breeder and importer of horses, sheep, cattle and swine, had hounds which ho used in hunting and made many experiments with fertil- izors and other things in the general interests of agriculture. He -,was practical in his investigations, and used to put all his improvements upon their cash basis, showing what they would be worth to the farmer who must roly upon his farm for a living. AN INDIARUBBER NAVY. "Which succeeds better, the city or tho country boy?" is said to bo a favorite question for discussion in country debating societies. The general tronil of opinion .seems to bo that the country boy succeeds hotter, but only after he becomes a city boy. A North Carolinian of a timid nature tried to run away from his wife, whose sharp tongue kept the poor follow, as ho expressed it, "on tenter hooks," but ho lost his way in tho woods, got badly frightened, and returned as soon as he eould get his bearings to captivity. A California prune grower has refused an offer from a Bordeaux iirm for his prune crop in sacks. They would of course bo repacked and shipped as FVench prunes. But the Californian moans to improve his style of packing and make the profit himself. One of the missionaries of the Seamen's Mission in England has during tho year visited 8,000 vessels and read the Scriptures in English, Danish and Norwegian. He has distributed 2,900 New_Testaments and 700 gospels to English and foreign seamen and emigrants. Tho timber cut in one year in Florida averages a little short of 200,000,000 feet, which is over 3 per cent of the whole amount of mercantile timber standing in her forests. At this rate in about thirty years Florida would be cleared of her timber if there was no natural increase. Recently a girl in one of the public schools of a neighboring city was asked by her teacher to explain tho difference between the words balance and remainder. Her answer was: "You can say 'A man lost his balance and fell,'but you cannot say 'A roan lost his remainder and fell.'" with r, ni _ -....^ M....,, ,.i,. 4 tn.'JUJ hcott can keep his silver and you can keep your building association aad stock, too. So there, now. After that I did not frv to her gnof. i was afraid thai c tiori might be costly. -Owl monev The conductors of all the street ca.ru omnibusoa and other vehicles for public accornodation in Warsaw, liimia, in that part of thfc city between Novaya I raga and the suburb of Urudno, are women, and are aaid to fulfill their duties moth accurately and to the better aalia/aetion o( the public than rnen. Outside passengers by one t,t the London road car services were recent- Iv astonished to find fixwi to Tho fix-Auditor of India-nil Thinks Ironclads Must Give AVay to Hubber. As the man was going out of the big hotel he whispered to me in sepulchral tones, "Col. Kiee is not right in his upper story—he is clean daft." In a few minutes I saw the full- moon, jocund face of Col. James II. Rice, ex-auditor of Indiana, coming from the elevator. Ho looked perfectly sane, and I asked him who his friend was that had just departed. "That man," said the colonel, "is a promoter and has not given me a moment's rest since I arrived in the city, /vo just let him in on the ground lloor of an idea of mine and have shown him illustrations of it. I offered to have him elected vice president of a company that is not formed. If my idea is put into execution it will revo- lutionise naval warfare, and an ironclad will bo as harmless as a barge carrying a load of Sunday school excursionists." The colonel invited me to his room, where I saw a number of illustrations in the rough of queer looking ships. I asked him to explain them. His eyes beamed with pleasure as he proceeded to_elucidate his ideas. "The cuts," he said, "represent war vessels armored with tough -indiarubber. Each vessel is protected with rubber seven feet in thickness and with enough give or elasticity to it to send the'largest ball ever fired against it bounding back into the water. I admit that the common rubber is not of sufficient toughness to resist the impact of the ordinary cannon ball, but mind you the rubber I intend to use i,s not common. Every man who makes an innovation and relegates established methods to the past is in the beginning considered a crank. But I do not mind any little epithet of that kind." "What is the tall spire in the vessels?" "That," said the scientific colonel, "is the lookout. It is a tower that can be telescoped in a second to tho surface of the vessel's deck and erected in the same space of time. It is 800 feet high. There is only one smokestack and it can be taken down in a minute. Cannons? Ah! that is a secret, but I shall tell you because you are not a promoter. In the rear of the vessel thorn is a turret tower with four destructive guns. You don't see it, eh? Well, neither do I, but if the enemy appeared by manipulating machinery there would rise from tho hull of tho vessel a turret, protected by indiarub- ber and ready to sink a fleet of iron- olads. Everything on the deck of my indiarubber vessel can be dropped below in a few moments." "Have you over studied that branch of mathematics which treats of trajectory?" J Tho colonel had, and added: "My boy, a ball dropped on the dock of one of my vessels would bound a milo high. There is absolutely no powder or force strong enough to drive a ball into the rubber." "One more question, colonel. How long have you had this peculiar elastic idea?" "It came to me as an inspiration five years ago. I was in Chicago and a weazened faced man with a voice that sounded liko the noise made by tearing calico made life miserable to mo. Ho had a schema and for a week he became my shadow, trying to get me to go into it. I worked out the india- rubber vessel and for three hours 1 earnestly explained to him the fortune m it if he would accept tho vice presidency. From that time he has nevei said 'scheme' to mo again. I have shown it to dozens of promoters and have talked so much about it that really think some kind of rubber can Do ruado to resist arid throw back can- nori balls." "Have you mentioned your idea to ken. Jraey, secretary of the navy?" 'i am a democrat," said tho colonel, proudly. "You wait until a. democratic president is elected." Col. Kice i.s a humorist and a practical joker.—A'. Y.Herald. V Kismet, It was on an electric car, bound from Harvard square to Boston. He wau & susceptible Harvard student, sho as pretty a girl as you could wiah to ace. He worn an imn-aftulate white W; arf ami was arrayed like a lily ,A the fidd hM; had brown ayt-.n thalMlewJfcd back to her soul, and ahb knew how to ma .'"', S* t<: , l ? ft thfc car at tf "- central g<tte of tin- Comracn, tt fl (i he ki«l,ctl and watcf.f:'! her throu uiit'sl aha wtm iittt An hour later ho Wdti stffcet viewing t perswith a critical eye. suuueuiy, from the mysterious interioiVof ft dry goods store! a bundle in her hmd, her cheeks flushed with the ardor of the chase, she came forth, fairer than before. And underneath the immaculate scarf he felt a joyous commotion. At 1 o'clock he was at the Adams House, and, as in duty bound, made a cursory examination of the ladies rtm- in«r room. He had inspected scarcely half the table's when his heart stopped, and his eye was riveted. Just underneath a mirror she sat, divested of her wraps, and nothing short of ravishing. "It is* fate," said he, and stared at her until there was danger of the head waiter calling the police. At 4 o'clock he was hurrying up Tremont street in the overture of a threatening rain storm, bound for Park square. In front of the Tremont Theatre "he thought of his immaculate scarf and tine raiment, and sought shelter in a. doorway. Ahother moment and the world around him grew misty. She stood beside him, her skirts in hand and despair in her face, without mackintosh or umbrella to shield her from the rain. He glanced at her a moment, rolled up his $12 trousers and departed on a run. A few doors down the street was a furnishing store. He dashed into it. "Give me an umbrella, quick," ho said, "Hero is one," said tho clerk, "$4.60, genuine natural wood and " "Hang the wood," said he. He dived into his pocket. A $2 bill, two ones and 45 cents in change. "Call it $1.45. It's all I've got." "All right," said the clerk. Ho throw down tho money and rushed back to tho doorway. She was gone.. Then he raised his umbrella and started to walk to Cambridge.— fioston Herald. Why He Couldn't Believe It. "Talking about snakes," he began. No one had said a word about snakes, but he thouglit.it about time to spin a yarn. "Talking about snakes there was a man down in our township- " "You knew' him?" interrupted his companion." "Certainly I knew him." "I thought so. He was a truthful man, too." "George Washington wasn't a circumstance to him." "I knew it. Go on with your story." "Well, sir, one day he was out on the marsh and ho saw a snake that " "Told you about it himself, didn't be?" "With his own lips. Now that snake " "Pardon me! He isn't a drinking man, is he?" "No, sir." "Never touched a drop of liquor in his life, did he?" "Never since he was born." "I thought not. Say! did you ever hear of a snake story being told by a drinking man?" "Um, well » "Did you ever hear of a real good one that wasn't told originally by a man who never drank a drop in his life." "Why, now you speak of it—" "A strictly temperance man is always willing to make an affidavit to the truth of it. Bring mo one verified by a drinking man some time and I'll take somo stock in it." What a Baby Mid In One Hour. 1. Yelled fifteen minutes without taking breath. (Uncle Will declares solemnly that this is a true statement.) 2. Pulled out enough hair from his uncle's head and whiskers to stuff a sofa pillow. 3. Cracked the wall paper as high as ho could reach with the poker. 4. Broke a stereoscope by sitting down on it. 6. Swallowed six buttons and a good part of a spool of thread. 6. Emptied the contents of his mother's work basket down the furnace register. 7. Tried to squeeze tho head of a cat into a tin cup and was scratched badly in the attempt. 8. Knocked the head off a fine wax doll belonging to his older sister by trying to drive a tack into a toy wagon with it. " 9. Fell off the edge of the whatnot and brought down with him two cost ly vases, which wore ruined. 10. Broke two panes of window-glas with a canp which uncle let him have 11. Fell into a coal hod and spoiled his now white dross. 12. Set fire to the carpet while uncle was out of tho room hunting up some thing to amuse him. _ 13. Crawled under the bed and re fused to como out unless uncle would give him the molasses jug. 14. Got twisted into tho rungs of a chair, which had to be broken to got him out. ° 15. Poured a pitcher of water into his mother's best shoes. 16. Finally, when he saw his mother coming ho ran out to the porch and tumbled oil the stops, making his nose blood and tearing a hole a foot square m his dress.— SI. Louis Itepublie, MAKING RAINBOWS IN WINDOWS. Beautiful KftBct of a Novelty Originated «y it J'urlHltiu Blind. ot > tne larger is tho expanse ot A similar though le.ss brilliant was obtained by one shopkeeper display the Londoner spoko ' standing; two paries of glass gj, side, half or quarter of an inch, then, after boxing up the ends strips of glass or wood, lillino'tiie between the panes with finely i ice and suspending an elec.tric „„ gas-jet midway bcjiind the c&ntrivi, always taking carp that the 'glasses'] entirely free frdni dust or\ being used. ! One iirm ih Paris—big deaW precious stones—made use of tht' on an elaborate scale. Large shoeJ plate glass were .used and thecn< ice was sown with hundreds ot monds, sapphires; .and rubies, heightening tho effect to n'ldeorisl startling ; brillancy, • the tempen of the window being kept sullici, warm to prevent frost forming ong glasses. The forming of a li<r|| on the glass case thus maifo „, detrimental to gaining the desired feet ordinarily, however, thoimh needs but a thought to see tlijt formation would prevent obtainim/ ditional effect from any precious st° that might bo placed within the 'THE KODAK AND THE FAKIR,] How Somo Cliloii/,'i> Men Paid 20 l!up w | Take Pictures of a Hindoo's Trick.| "T have a good story that inn two Chicago tourists -who at one wero trivon to traveling in theorii, and taking kodak pictures of ohjecbj interest," remarked John Wrightw 1 at tho Palmer house, says theljliii News. Mr. Wrightwood' is a sales; for M n English house. "The «tory was told by the victinft a hotel in Calcutta. It ?eems thoy wanted to toko somo views of tricks (mrformed by tho Hindoo juror n -id had gone to a small vil! famed for its first-class crop of faldl A conjurer of great renown waa tainod to 'sit for view,s.' He rem ed that for 20 rupees he would the amateur photographers to theo tor of a clearing and give exhibit! of bis art. They could take all oil pictures they wanted to. "Accordingly they repaired to I lawn and Mr. Hindoo took a ball twine from his robe, and, with an clamation in his native tongue, hurled the ball upward, high, in fact tho two Chicago men tlibua thoy saw it disappear in tho cloi Tho end of the string remained ground. 'Now,' cried the fakir, carefully. I'll give you sometliinglj|a make pictures of.' And picking CB his blanket, that Ho had previou*S3 thrown upon the grass, he exposed 5J little chubby baby boy, who laiighi ?! and clapped his hands. Flash weffl) the kodaks. Then the conjurercimglftf up the child and placed him upouth> string. The baby clutched tho fit $ rope and began to ascend. Again tK kodaks. Up the sprite wont, looking like a Philadelphia Cupid. In tl|| course of a few minutes the boysligj down until he reached a point abou|| five feet from the ground. Again thj|j kodak. With a dexterous swing of Wife! arm the fakir hurled the baby beueatl$ the blanket, drew down the heavcnlj|p ladder, laughed and all was ovep Picking up his blanket he waved itip the breeze and folding it up asked ttj.f party to return to the town. | "What a mine of wealth these mffj'! thought they had in those negative^* Neither cared to compare notes Rj< their astonishment. Ijy "But when they come to dcvelyfti those negatives they were surprisedt§; find that no trace of the rope, baby fit blanket showed up. "'Thundoration! Why didn't v j « catch a negative?' one of the inencrioj;;; 'It must have been a supernatural a;j rangemeut,' ventured the other. t; "No amount of 'developing' ecus! make a pictere of the strange sconp they had seen. Then they agreed tht| tho fakir had hypnotized them and h« cleverly mulcted them out of 20 $3 poos. However, I'll warrant you thfj are still cudgeling their brains oi|: the way tho fakir had so successful! deceived them." ?| . An advertising novelty man of con- Biderable prominence, from London, England, who was in this city one day last week told »r win ' *"'- ld a friend here of soelncr a clever, eye-catching novelty that has recently been oeiginatod in Paris. Tho fact that it is not patoutablo and simple makes it something which any merchant can produce if Tie desires As described by the Londoner tho novelty 1B ma(lo ?j ; j b w n cakes of clour ioo and placing thorn on end m u show window with ]U8t enough space between them toad- rn.t of suborn ing a Jot of gas. or, bet- in n' 1 , a ", eltJ ' clric % !lt As people it a AJVD HUMOR, i — ,— £j,]f ^ Boston procession is a movil* Bp : -cta.clo.—.iiing/ianiton liepubVean, f|| Living in a garret may be said toll & rheumatic JiiHculty.— Lowell Ctownpgi Tho preferred material for damtfll suits is one of largo checks.— M'fe American. &3! A statesman can always got a p^fl by going to tho dentist's oilice— Mfe Iwmton Republican. |(iss A defect in tho hearing of a Judafp dot so serious as a bad hearino- for mouGr.—Pittsbury Press. . lob was probably the most pre cious child on record Ho cursed- 'lay he was born.— Lif^s Calendar, It is strange, but true, that , nian is short of brains ho is gencnfl?! long on collars.- Texas Sif lings. |ft Pride goeth before a fall, and he|l| . ,, O ~v,*w* w u. lull, U11U IlOWf. :aftW hveth on tho bluff may expect to t#!'|t' a tumble.— Indianapolis Journal. ?lf» To be able to sit on the fencet!|| Jolitical talent. To know just wlplj to get off is erenins.— Washington S$fj$ c 'ildn (in ..sre up her- uind whelfe he wanted a yard or a vard andl'i; ialf, aiv>. I got tired waiting.''--^ Review, !$ Uncle Trcotop—"I hope v^ live loff nougli to find out what there Isaac!® hout a sacred conceit." Willis , , -id ice it appears as U ough a succession of rainbow or pii-nw of bnlha,,t colors wore radiat- i«K UiWtilmiH. Tho brilliancy ofl ho tolor^obtainod and tho aculo of their I X?nSl, inT$, n ° U of t ^'"K *. fT(>'.ll\ It t* r*r.i\ 1, . .. .. *«>*. , .* »4V> '•ho cakoa of ice Ann Tho Uwald, -Vintor hath its openings as w«H *pring, The small boy ' vn tho thin ico may bo as ~ swampod as-the Aiusband who /ostod in an Enter bonnet for , I ( ••— - r_T([| That is too easy. It Is tho d«j|| day is sacred—BOOP"-~AT, w* who vent-Mil *f>pfcU8 ^'^ has; "I don't see you at tho matinees«! inoro since you married." "No. Wfe over I want my feelings han'OWP just go out in tho kitcli?u and w?t! .wary Ann ham lie the china."—/«<* •ipolis Journal. Cobble -"Billy Bonder thought would bo funny, so ho wont to Undertakers' fiop togged out W shroud." Stone—"How was ho odP" Coiiblo—"0, they —Clothier mid t'i ' '