The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on March 22, 1893 · Page 3
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 3

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, March 22, 1893
Page 3
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THE TIPPER MS MOINES,ALG0NA, IOWA, WEDNESDAY. M ARCH 22 t nr iruon CON WAT, CaJZed Boc?£." .Etc. JBto The room in Avhlch the. brothers were sitting Avas furnished with a bold mixture ol modern and antique.' Where comfort and utility were the first considerations, the modern prevailed; Avhere ornament or decoration had to be supplied, the antique, often the grotesque antique, -was called into requisi- , tion. On the high carved mantlepiece stood Oriental bronze vases with hideous dragons creeping round them, and gaping, grinning kylinsj who looked mockingly and fearlessly at the fierce metal monsters. They kne\v— old china figures know more than people suspect—that the dragons were welded to their vases more irrefragibly' than Prometheus to his rock. Here and there was a plate of rich-colored elaissonnc enamel, a piece of Nankin china, a specimen of old brass work, a bracket ol real old carved oak, an antique lamp, or some other article dear to the collector. Some half a dozen medium-sized hut A'aluablepaintings hung upon the walls. The floor was covered by sobw-hued Po.rsian carpet, and, of course, a roaring fire filled tho grate. The Talberts looked very grave—as grave and solemn as Roman fathers in high debate They were, indeed, discussing a weighty matter. After an interval of silence, Herber rose, and Avalkcd to his brother's side. The two looked critically down the table. Thcj went to the bottom and looked up the table They went to the sides and looked across tho table; they even sent glances diagonally from corner to corner. "It Is certainly a great Improvement," said Horace with quiet triumph. "A great improvement," echoed the other "Echo" is the right word—even their voices were alike. In a contented frame of mind they resum ed their seats, their claret, and'their cigarettes. 'The great improvement Avas this:— For some time past these excellent house keepers had been sorely exercised by the con ventlonal Avay in which laundresses fold table-cloths. They did not like the appear ance of the three long creases on the snowy expanse. They turned their inventive ahili ties t6 account, and a Aveek ago walked down to the residence, redolent of soap and ho' water, of the woman Avho did their Avashing and startled the poor creature out of her Avits by.insisting upon their table-cloths being folded in a new and improved fashion. They even demonstrated their meaning by a prac tical experiment,and so impressed tho nympl of the washtub and mangle Avith tho importance they attached to the matter, that she had actually managed to learn her lesson well enough for the result of their teaching to give them great satisfaction. Coffee Avas brought iiij and the two gentlemen were about to leave the dining-room when the Eev. Mr. Mordlo Avas announced Mr. Mordle was the curate of Oakbury, anc always a welcome guest at Hazlewood House It was an unspoken axiom of the Talberts that the church set the seal of fitness upoi her servants, or, at least, upon her upper scr vants. Organ blowers, parish clerks, anc pew openers Avere the lower servants—so, al things being equal, a clergyman could always break through the exclusiveness whiol reigned at Hazlewood House. Mr. Mordle \vas clever in his Avay, full of talk, and oi course knew every in and out of tho parish in the administration to the wants of which he must have found the Talberts a great assistance. All great men have their Aveak- nesses—perhaps their friendship for Mr Mordle Avas the Talbert' weakness. But then they dearly loved having a finger in the pie parochial, leaving out of the question the fact that they liked the curate, and in the kindness of their hearts pitied his loneliness. So he often dropped in like this, uninvited, and no doubt felt the privilege to be a greai honor. On Mr. Mordle's side, he could thoroughly appreciate humor, the more so Avhen its existence Avas quito unsuspected by the sedate humorist. To him the study of Horace anc Herbert Avas a matter of keen and enduring delight. They rose and greeted him. "Excuse me," said Horace rather nervously, "did " "Yes, I did," answered tho curate briskly. "I rubhed them—I scrubbed them—my feet feel red-hot. I con Id dance a minuet on your table-cloth without soiling it. The redundancy of the answer set their minds at rest. The bugbear of their domestic lives was persons entering their rooms without having first wiped their shoes as every Christian gentleman should. The hall door was so heavily armed Avith mats andscrapers that such an omission seemed an impossibility. Yet sometimes it did occur, and its effects were terrible—almost tragic, Horace rang for more claret; Herbert passed his cigarette case, and the three men chatted foi a Avhilo on various subjects. Presently said Horace Avith sad decision: "Ann Jenkins came to us the day before yesterday. She told a piteous tale. We gave her five shillings." "Very good of you," said the curate; "she has a long family—nine, I think.'" "Yes; but we are sorry now that we gave the money. We are sure she is not a careful, thrifty Avoman." The curate's eyes twinkled, He knew Ann Jenkins well—too Avell, "Careful and thrifty people wouldn't want your half crowns. But how did you find out her true character?" Mr. Mordle expected to hear a mournful account of a domiciliary visit to Ann Jenkins, and a dissertation upon the various and almost original stages of untidiness in which his friends had found her numerous progeny. But the truth was better than he had bargained for. "WeAvalked behind her across the field tills morning," said Horace with grave regret. "When she got over the stylo wesaAV she had on two odd stockings, a black one and a gray one—or blue and gray, I am not certain which." "Blue and gray," said Herbert. "I noticed particularly." "Her tastes, like yours," said the curate, "may bo cultured enough to avoid Phillsthiio uniformity." "Oh dear, no," said Herbert seriously. "We argue in this way, The woman has two pairs of stockings " "I doubt it," said the curate, "But neA'cr mind—go on." His friends were surpassing themselves! "She has two pairs—one gray, the other blue or black. She has worn one stocking Into holes. Instead of sitting down and darning it, like a decent body, she simply puts on one of tho othpr pair." "Why doesn't she put on the other pair altogether?" asked Mr. Mordle. "Because," said Horace,' triumphantly, "one stocking of that pair is in the same dilapidated condition; so her conduct is doubly bad. As I said, she is not a deserving AVQ- nmn." "Granting your premises," said Mr. Mordle, "your argument Is not illogical. Your rea- • soiling appewg^Hud, your deductions correct. Bu The curai oattie on tne suoject, wen worn or otherwise, of Ann Jenkins's hose. He meant to learn why one stocking of either pair should wear put before its fellow, and many other fanciful combinations were forming themselves in his subtle brain, when the interest in the mended or unmerided stockings wafe extinguished by the entrance of the'falberts' irreproachable looking man-servant. He informed his masters that the man had brought the child. "What man? What child?" asked Horace. "Do you expect a man or a child, Herbert?" "Certainly not. What do you mean, Whitr taker?" "A railway man has brought a child, sir. He says it is to be left here." "There must be s6me stupid mistake." "No doubt, sir," said Whittaker respectfully, but showing that his opinion quite coincided with his master's. "Where is the man?" asked Horace. "In the hall, sir." "Did lie wipe his shoes?" asked Herbert, in dread. "Certainly, sir; I insisted upon his doing so." "We had better see the stupid man and set the matter right," snid Horace. "Excuse us for a moment, Mr. Mordle." The two tall men walked into the hall, leaving Mr. Mordle to chuckle at his ease. Hazlewood House was certainly a most interesting place this evening. It was lucky for the curate that ho indulged in his merriment with his face turned from the door, as in a minute the respectable Whittaker entered the room. Thai functionary was most tenacious that due respect should be shown to his masters. Most probably the look of vivid amusement on Mr. Mordle's features would, had he seen it, have made an enemy for life of the faithful Whittaker. "Mr. Talbert and Mr. Herbert would bo glad if you would step out for a nnent, sir." Thereupon Mr. Mordle went into the hall and saw a most comical sight—the solemnity of the actors concerned not being the least comical part of it. Standing sheepishly on .thedoor mat, or rather on one of the legion .of door mats, was a stolid-faced porter in his uniform of brown fustian, velveteen, or whatever they call the stuff. On either side of the massive oblong hall-table stood one of the Talberts, whilst between them, on the table itself, was a child with a mass of tumbled, flossy golden hair streaming down from under a natty little cap. Horace and Herbert, each armed with his horned-rimmed eyeglass, and with looks of utter consternation and bewilderment upon their faces, were bending down anil inspecting the child. To Mr. Mordle's imaginative mind, the group suggested a picture he had once seen of the Brolxlignagians taking stock of Gulliver ;nor could the picture have been in anyway spoiled when he himself, a tall man, went to one end of the table, whilst Whittaker, another lull man, stood at a becoming distance from the other end, and joined in the scrutiny of the diminutive stranger. "This is a most extraordinary thing 1" said Horace. "The child is sent by rail addressed here." Mr. Mordle react the ticket: "H. Talbert, Esq., Ila/lewood House, Oakbury, near Blac-klowii." "When; did you say it came from?" asked Herbert, turning to the stolid-faced porter. "Let us hear all nhoutit again." "Guard of live o'clock down, gentlemen; he says child w;is left in first-class carriage. Mother got, out at Didcot, and missed the train or didn't como bunk. Guard told mo (o get cab and bring the child here. Said I'd be paid well for my trouble. Cab was three and six, gentlemen." "There must be some mistake. What are we to do?" asked the br-'il.hers. "Don't expert any visitors, I suppose?" asked the curatp. "None whatever. You must take the child away again," said Horace, turning to the porter. The man gaped. "What am I to do with it, sir?" he asked. "Lost parcelsolliec," suggestedMr.Mordlc, quietly. AVhittakor gave him a reproachful look. The matter wns too serious a one for jest. "Cut the label off," was the curate's next piece of advice?. "There- may bo a letter under it." They took it off. The label was a piece of writing-paper gummed on to a plain card which had been tony or cut irregularly. No letter was concealed beneath it. Then they searched the pockets of the child's littlecoat, but found nothing. Their perplexity increased. "I'll wish you good-evening, gentlemen," said the porter. "Cab was three and nix." The "Tabbies" were on the horns of a dilemma. The eyes which could detect the discrepancy in the unfortunate Mrs. Jenkins' stockings were able to see that the baby was well, even very well clad. It was just possible that a letter had miscarried—possible- that someone was coming to Hazlewood House without invitation or notice—that she hud really missed the train at Didcot; that she would arrive in the course of an hour or two and explain matters. The safest plan was to keep the child, for a while. Having settled this, Horace fished live shillings out of liis pocket and sent the porter away happy. Thereupon Herbert produced a half crown which he handed to his brother, who pocketed it without comment and as a matter of course. They wore not miserly men, but made a point of being .fust and exact in their dealings with one another down to the uttermost farthing. Much annoyance would be saved if all men were the same as the Talberts with respect to small sums. Nevertheless, this rigid adjustment of matters pecuniary was a trait In their characters which greatly tickled Mr. Mordle, All the while the little boy, with fatsturdy legs placed well apart, stood upon the great oak hall table. The lantern of many-colored glass over his head threw rich warm tints on his sunny hair. He seemed in no way shy or terrified; indeed, if any fault could be found in liis bearing, It was that his manners were more familiar than such a short acquaintance justified. As the dignified brothers once more bent over him to resume their axamina- tlon, he seized Mr. Herbert's watch chain in his chubby fist and laughed delightedly—a laugh which Mr. Mordlo echoed. Ho had long looked for a suit able excuse forexpress- Ing his feelings in this way. The situation was so funny. An unknown child foisted upon his friends at this hour of the night! No dirty beggar's brat, but a pretty, well- dressed little boy, old enough to possess a row of tiny white teeth, but not, it seemed, old enough to give any explanation of this unwarrantable intrusion. The child had such largo, bright blue eyes, such wonderful golden hair, such fearless and confident ways, that Herbert, who was fond oi' children, patted the bright head and pulled out his watch that the little rascal might hear it tick; whilst Mordle slipped back to the dining-room and returned with a couple of unwholesome macaroons. "Nearest way to a child's heart through the stomach," he said, as the. youngster deserted his first friend for the sake of the sweets, Horace eyed these advances discontentedly. \ "But what is to be done?" ho said. Jjiist then the muffled stratus of a piano pivsscd tluough the closed door of the 3r<i\v- iugfioom. should think," said the curate, "you had er take Mb* CUuif>ou's CHAlTiiH 1V. BEATRICE'S I'ROPOSAT,. In describing Hazlewood House and its belongings, no mention has been made of Miss Clausoii, for this reason—her position in that well-regulntcd 'establishment was, ns yet, scarcely defined. She was neither mistress nor guest. She was, in short, thponly daughter—indeed, the only surviving result of Unit brilliant marriage made by Miss Talbert when she allied herself with Sir Maingay Clauson, Bart. There is no reason for enlarging upon 1hc admirable way in which Lady Clauson filled the position Avhlch her OAVII merits hud gained, or to which Fate had assigned her. Socially and domestically—in the outward as well as the inward life—she wns all a baronet's wife should be—all save that sho presented her husband with no heir to his title nnd estates. This was a sad omission, but, for tho sake of her many other good qualities, Sir Mningay overlooked it, and mado her a very good husband as husbands go. When Lady Clauson died, some twelve years after the birth of the daughter who lived, Sir Maingay wept copiously. He even opened his Bible—tho. first time for many years—and by the aid of Crn- den's "Concordance," looked out a text appropriate to her many virtues. Moreover, for her sake, or his own, he remained single, for five long years. Then he went the way of all middle-aged, titled, Avifc-bercft flesh, and married again Beatrice Clauson, just about, to leave school, a romantic young lady, whose head for the present Avas, however, only occupied by pretty, filial dreams of looking after her father, ministering to his comforts, ruling his house, and generally doing the best she could to fill the place of her dead mother, found herself without a word of warning presented to a now mother, one, moreover, but four years older than herself. It was a crushing blow I It was a girl's first lesson in the vanity and instability of mundane expectations. She ought, of course, to have anticipated it; but she Avas young, and like most young' people, considered her middle aged father abnormally old and staid. Besides, she could remember her own mother well enough, and remembered also Sir Maingay's sincere grief when death claimed his wife. Sho remembered the way in Avhich the weeping man threw his anus around herself, and told heir that sho Avas now his ALL—his treasured memento of his Avlfe—his one tie to life. He- calling all this, she was sanguine enough to fancy that memory was even more vivid, that grief had graven its lines deeper with her father than with herself. So the bolt came from the bluest of tho-hlue! At seventeen Beatrice Clauson was still a spoiled child. All distracted widowers, until they marry again, spoil an only child; therefore, if only on salutary grounds, a second alliance is to be recommended. We Avill, then, take It for granted that at the time of Sir Maingay's second marriage, Miss Clauson Avas SDOiled. Moreover. AVO mav at least suspect, that she Avas both impetuous and stubborn, headstrong and romantic; also in her own way as proud as Lucifer. The second Lady Clausoii was a beauty, and nothing more. Her family wns what, is called respectable—a term, the signification' of which no man or Avomnn has as yet been able exactly to define. Like the Bible, AVC interpret it as we choose. When the enforced meeting between Lady Clauson and her step-daughter took place, the young lady, by menus of those signs and tokens, the masonry of which Avomen alone fully comprehend, showed tho state of her miiid so clearly, that war to the knife was then and there declared. And civil war in families—baronets or otherwise—is a deplorable thing; doubly deplorable for the neutral parties, who hick the excitement of the internecine comhat,. For a while Sir Maingay's life was anything but a happy one. It mutters little who Avas most to blame— the girl for her unreasonableness and stubborn spirit, and want of resignation (o the inevitable—Lady Clauson for retaliating with all an injured Avoman's pettiness nnd spite—Sir Maingay for tire thoroughly mail- like conduct in letting things drift. They did drift with a vengeance! The breach bo-, tween the two ladies soon became too enormous to bo bridged over by any family diplomatic engineering. The skirmishes between .the belligerents, are not worth noticing. The battle-royal wns fought when tho time came for Miss 0/nu.son to be presented. Lady Clauson assorted that she was the proper person to present, her step-daughter. Beatrice coldly declined her aid. Her ladyship insisted—her step-daughter Avas firm in her refusal. Sir Maingay declared himself under his wife's banner,' and- for once attempted to assort parental authority. Whereupon Miss Clauson cut tho mutter short, and declined being presented nt all, It wns a most dreadful state of nffairsl You can, at least, drive a horse to the wnicr. even if yon can't make him drink; but yon dare not haul n refractory young woman hito tho present-is of a gracious sovereign. Lady Clauson, who AVUS rigidly exact iu "I can't go abroad with you," said Beatrice. "I shall be miserable myself and make you miserable." "But if you stay in England you must bu presented and come out; and all that r.ort of thing." "If ever I do get married," said Beatrice drily, "I will be presented as Lady Clauson was, on my marriage." Sir Maingay's cheek, reddened, lie. -'was much hurt hy the sarcasm. Poor old Kin : Lear found a fitting simile for an ungrnU-rnl child, but the sharpness of a sarcastic chiM is more painful than a Avholo jawful of serpent's teeth. He did not reply; but I In- worthy baronet was at his wits' end. Wlini could he do Avith this girl? He had very few relations—he cared for none of them, OM Mr, Talbert, of Hazlewood House, wns a eon- firmed invalid; Horace and Herbert wi-iv men Avithout homes or Avives. Sir Muiiignx was willing enough that Beatrice slum h f i c main in England, lie had suffered much during the last feAV months from the dK-;,'i'-' sions of his Avlfe and daughter. But AV!U'I\ to bestow Beatrice? At last he remembered an aunt of his ci\\u who lived in quiet retirement in one, of thu suburbs of London. It was of course, nbsn d for Beatrice to think of living at Fairholwc., In a half-closed house with a;>!':- and one or two servants. So it was nrrnntr •>! that her great-aunt should take her win U- i^ir Maingay and Lady Clauson were on tl'.o dm tiiieut. So to Mrs. Eraldne's she went, nnd. as that lady was very old,very deaf, nnd «nw no company, it may be presumed thai !:;.->% Clauson had scarcely a merry time of it dining her father's absence—an absence wlilrii from one reason or another lasted quite lour years. After awhile Sir Mningay almost he had a daughter. The Clausoas sett Ml down to continental life for an indelliiitu time. Lady Clausoii knew she was Inipr-iv- ing herself, and moreover, that Sir M uni:r was saving enough money to rul'imii.-iii th. town house from top to bottom wiieiu-v, i they did return to England. In the i-;.-u:-sc of tho four years spent abroad, Lud.v Clnu»o:i rectified her pmlecesboi't. uhr»of OHU'-M<II, and gavelierdevoted tww due. In.}. babies, Ju the revived delights ot patei n * , —apatoinltywhlqhisso e&pecially de;i m middle age-Sjr Malrigay thought JJttlo ot the trov.Wesq.iJie, England. Ills wife nnd his boys nil Iwi turned her out of his heart. So here \v;i? Beatrice in the extraordinary position of being a baronet's daughter with scarcely n friend In.the world. At last the Clnusons returned to En.clniii". Whether her ladyship wrote her Imok (!-.- i"-i is a matter of uncertainty; anyway, it w:-.~< never published. Beatrice made vm n ! >j -'•- tion to rejoining the family ciivlr. I! :• father and his wife found her greatlyrl,:::;..-.- ed. She. was quieter, more, roserv-ii. ••<• '• amenable to reason. It seemed to Sir 'i in- gay that she had passed he;: time nt /' -. Ersklne's in study. The learning sh" ; u acquired almost frightened the baronef: !i;iv he was glad to see she had grown i beautiful woman; and so he felt quite of his neglected daughter, and hop* for the future things Avould run smooMily. His hopes were vain. This time th'T" v.-;is no doubt as to with'whom the fault In;--. A beauty, like Lady Clnuson, could no! IT. i'-ro the constant presence of a younger. I'rct-ln.-r. and even more beautiful beauty. S! also jealous at the way in which hc.i- <rv.i children took to Beatrice. Besides she never forgiven tho girl. Relations sooi: irr-'-w strained, and toward the end of tho y;-:ir Bent rice Avrote to her uncles, nnd iiski-d H they would give her a homo. SheAvns now nearly-twenty-three. Having when she cnmc of age succeeded In nor late mother's third of old Tnlberl's i><» «•>•- sions, she wns Independent both by nv- -.nd by income. She Avns willing to live nt ll.i/.V- wood House, if her uncles would Ink" her. If not, she resolved to start an establishment of her own. She wns still in her former anomalous position—a baronet's daughter, who had never made a proper entrance in:i> •'•"• doty. As Lady Clausoii snid, sho must have been a Avrong-minded young Avomrin as this omission seemed lo trouble her very li'.ll•-. following the prescribed usntrr"-, of ,$(i.(NKMXM) k't't lu-r by hor first husband. Washington Louis Ilainorsli-y. A hitherto unpublished Incident in the life of the dnke of Marllionmirh is brought out by I lie discussion Incident to Ilio publication of his will. Along in ! tile 'SOX when h-.- \VMS mixed up In the | I aii.s Ailesbuvy s-.-mitlal. he -vi-.n-erl ! from L.-uly Ailoslniry a jiackai:,- >'.' tln- jii'.H.'c ol' \\nles' love letters .i-W-vsv.".! 1 > I.ei. !ie was asked to be the custodian -if Hie bimille. The duke. ID m- smv the safe keeping of the package, so the st<»V.v goes, mil it ill the care of Lord IJa.iulolpli Churchill, liis younger brother.' Lord Churchill, Ml.thal'.'tlmc iU'linu: as .secret.-ivy lo bis father, then lord lieutenant of Ireland, guarded the bundle as best he coulil. Due day ho was ^surprised to receive a call from a (|ueon's messenger, who tleniMided the v.:i.< | letters. Churchill refused lo give them ' ii)i OH HIP ground thai they were not his m-oporly. bin simply Intrusled to him. and lie was responsible for (heir safely. "On your allegiance as a sub- j(cl they are demanded." was the nlti- 1 uialum he received. Me iut|iiirod. who j had sent, Hie message. Me was I old I the prince of Wales. "Well, when he ! Is sovereign and sends me such a mes- ! sago I will respect II," was ClnuvhiU's 'answer. Fearing I'urlher Importunities, however, he. iogotlier with his wife (noe Miss Jerome of this cityl, sailed for »«• York, and in midsummer they ooupied the Jerome home in this city. Churchill brought with him the bundle of let lorn, and at lasl accounts they wore in a box in Hie vault of a safe- may not have been f'nr wronu; when rlic, do- , claml Hint "a bnronet's daughter, who re-1 «l('I>osll. company down town. 'I how fused lo bo prcscnluu, was— well, n mon strosity!" Sir Maingay began to wish his :iiici-:-tors had not separated themselves from the IM- man Catholic communion. Ho c-o-.ild IK-.VC- sent his daughter to a nunnery. But: then, he sadly reflected, she wouldn't havo ,i''>n<- at any price. If put, there by force, the lYo- testant League would soon have her on 1 , ;i:vl perhaps take her round the couniry ,--j"in:- iug. The only thing the worried l>:.:-onet could think ofj was to send for his rebel, and ask her advice as to the best menus of disposing of her troublesome self. When alone with her father Beatrice nl- ways behaved prettily. She was very fond of him, although the remembrance of tlic tears, the text, the distracted vows, when contrasted with his second num-lngo for no'.h- ing but good looks, made her look upon him with a little contempt. She did not, know that man is so gregarious a creature thai it is not meet for him to live alone. She heard his remarks in silence, then gave him her opinion on the matter. "I don't want to be a nuisance to you, papa. lam eighteen now— too old to go back tu school. It's nonsense, of course, to say I should like to earn my own living, because when I come of age I shnll have some money. May I go and live at Fairholme?" Fairholme was Sir Maingay's seldom-vised seat in one of the. southern counties. "But you can't; live there alone," he said. "Yes, I could. Mrs. Williams could lake care of me. Isluill be happy enough." "My dear girl, why not be reasonable am) make friends with Lady Clnusun? Then w;< could all go abroad together,". Lady Clauson, who was by no means n fool, had by. this time found out that, sin; needed something more than mere good JOOA.- to go down, or go up, in the society her hoai-t longed for. She had, therefore, made up hw mind to become a traveled woman, and hud' arranged that Sir Maingay should bike hw to a variety of foreign countries. The, proposed tour was to be aii affair of years, and her ladyship had a dim idea of writing, or ol .getting some one else to write, a boo!;, describing the well-worn pathways she meant to tread. She hoped to take the world by storm as n literary woman. who are familiar \v1lh Ibis chnpler In Hie Chmvlillls' life, and they are limited In number, are wondering if the pack- ago still reposes in this oily to the con- e.oru of Hie future king of (ironI Hrilain and Ireland. stranger in these parts." he said in a half whisper. "I'm williit' to say t teach for i?±7 n month ami board 'round, nncl not. another darned thing." and the unambitious pedagogue turned on his heel and went In after his scholars. THEY TOOK MIS (Ti-'F. - SI. Louis <!Iobo Democrat. "1 never fell so lough in my life as the night when I bad a cuff stolen," slid Uoorge Murray of Xe\v York at the Lindcll last nigh I. "It was a funny (hiiig though. You see the way it was, I met (iporgp Starling, an old showman, and he asked me lo the Star theater in Xe\v York. I fold him I'd como up and bring my wife. 'All right,' said he, 'I'll write yon a pass.' and pushing up my coat sleeve he wrote on Ilio cuff TnsstU) two. Thursday. Starling.' I appreciated Ilio joke and when I got into my dress suit that night 1 kept the cuff on just for the fun of It. Well, my wife and I went to the theater. 1 met Starling and asked him to fix me. 'I wrote you a. pass; what more do you want?' was the answer. 'All right.' said I. and going In Hie box oflicc 1 pulled up my sleeve and showed my cuff with Ilio order written on it. 'You'll have to lake the cuff oil' till I stamp it,' wild the ticket seller. Well, what could 1 do? 1 didn't have .$."> in my (locket. OH. 1 cam.e the cuff and II, was i duly sta.mped and I was given two I seals. Then the door-keeper took the i cul'f and deposited It in Hie Hokot-box and I had lo sit through that entire performance in a full-dress suit: and only one cuff. Did T swear? On the, quiet I did. I'll gel: square wllh Starling some dav, sure." APOITI.NU ENGLISH WOKDS. A LETTER OF WASHINGTON'S. Imploring I hoi Clolhint Board of War to Send for His Soldiers. French Dictionary Commission Forced to lloeognlzo Many English Terms. OUIl DUCHESS TREATED WELL. Mnri'borongh's Bequest, to His Second AYit'o Regarded as itoiniburseine-nt. Among cluUineu and society pooplo the provisions of the will of the late Lord Mai-lborough furnished u topic for discussion yesterday, suys the Now York World. In probating the Avill in the 'English courts the duke's estate, valued tit £352,703, or $1,71)3,515, was disposed of. It is snid, however, that tlio figures given, represent the nominal A r alue of the duke's securities nnd that the amount realized on their .sale Avill be very much less. Solicitor Spencer "Wlitteheiid, kiioAvn to some'of NCAV York's leading lawyers, and Lillian Hainersley, the Avidowed duchess, are made executors of tho will. The present- duke, the. ninth of the name, besides coining into possession of tho entailed estates, gets permission to select £50,000 Avorth of chattels, but should ho sue ho loses all. Besides this bequest and one of £20,000 to Lady Colin-Campbell, together Avith small bequests to servants, the unen- tailed real and personal estate goes to tho American duchess, Lillle Hamer* ' ley. This last clause Is a verification of the expectations of American friends of Mi's. Iliuiiorsley. It has been understood by her friends that the. duke Avould leave a charge on the estate to reimburse his Avife for advances of j money. "While Ma'rlborough was possessed of the 'Churchill streak' he Avas not a bad felloAv, and tho will means that he is doing tho square tiling by his Ameaican.Avife," said an intimate friend of the late duke yesterday. Continuing he said; "A remark the duko once mado while we AVCU-O driving at Tuxedo impressed me*. It was: 'What can you expect of a man 'whose life is burdened Avith debts and a throe-acre roof full of leaks?' " Mrs. Hainersley had to pay out money to lix the roof of Blenheim palace before It Avas habitable. There is no intimation, as far as the World reporter cpuld learn, that Mrs. Hamorsley-Cluirohlll Avill return to America. Her London home is at Corloton House terrace, The duko of Marlborough and Mrs, Lillian Hainersley Avere .married by Mayor HeAAitt June 29, 1888, at the NBAV York city hall, and, after a long bearch found a minister who woulc| celebrate the ceremony, the Rev. Potter of the- Sixth, "' ' ~ of tills cj.ty about i Hidden away unions a misw llnnoous lot of papers of the old contiiioiitnl 0011- fi'i' in the di'paHmeiil of si.-ilr.', is si letter of AYnsliinslon's which was not included in the printed collect ions of either .Inrod Spanks or AVort.hlujttou C. Ford, says Ilio 'New York Post. The/ letter is aw follows: Camp Ml, AVhilo AI.ii.rsli Nov. 11 1777. Sir. I have before me your favors of (>th & 7th.—-The inconveniences arising from the allowance of 'Substitutes are severely felt: & I fear Avill iuiMvaso. 1 will a.ttompl. .some mode to doled Do- now in service under that denomination. The public Anns furnished the A'irninin .Militia, wore directed t:<> put Into Ilio hands of n member belonging I" this Stale Avho joined Gon'l l'ot.or at Ihe lime of their dismission-- and whatever exceeded their supply, tin- officers wore enjoined to have deposited al Lancuxlcr in (heir return homo. This I hone has been done. I am extremely sorry to find \vo have no prospect of obtaining supplies of (''•loathing, except by forcing thorn from tho Inhabitants. Such a procedure, I fear, would not rololve our wants, & at. tho same time would greatly distress the people & embilev their minds. I have had several officers employed in thisslnilo in follodlntf but the quantities gained are trilling. There are some out now upon the Business. It; appears to me, since our public imports arc so small. & precarious, OAving to the numerous Fleet; I .presume, Avhich lines our Coast, that no measure Avill bo more; likely to glA r e us aid, than the est- ablishin;? of proper Agents in each State to buy every Species of Cloathing they possibly can for the Army. The supplies derived from hence, may be of infinite service, & in addition to those imniwliatly imported by congress Avill extend considerably, to lessen our Avants. The Agents I think, should be aotlA r e, suitable Men appointed by the Legislative or Executive Powers of tho respective Staitos. I Iwo addressed Con- gross upon tho subject, T, am Sir Your most, obod't. servant (Signed) ; O. Washington. This letter is addressed to lUehard Peters, Ksq., secretary to the board of Avar, and is indorsed on tho back, "Gen. Washington to the board relative to clothing." It Is important as anoth- i lion of the army in the dark days just j pi-coding the darker ones at Valley | Forge. In his letter to congress of the diito AVahinfiton enters someAvhat into detail concoring the appointment of jut, of "Substitutes" and "Dehe says not. The Freiicili academy, jealous ns it Is for the purity of its native, language, is nevertheless obliged to admit that certain English words have obtained so linn a. footing in It that it is useless henceforth to attempt to drive them out, says Ihe London Daily Mews. M. Ooard, chairman or "rapporteur" to tj'iie dlcltoiia;ily commission appointed by thai body, has just presented a 'report lull of details interesting to phil- lologists. The comlssioii does not at- j tempt to justify until five o'clock meaning five (('(dock ton. still less the iulinl- live form "live o'clocquer," meaning jlo lake live o'clock tea. and the are i silent as lo "meoHug", "sportsman" l"hiindieiip." boule dogue," and other ! words frequently heard in the mouths I of Frenchmen. What they do say is 'that forms like "" (befstoak), "break", spleen," and a few others Hiat may he said to have, no French, equiva- ' lends may henceforth be considered i as part of the. VFreucli)' language. JAt the same time it is recommended that file spelling shall be altered so that jlhoy may correspond with Ihe' local j pinuuiicihiHon. Thus • "bUltec," ^s Vo> replnci-s biftcck, "brec," brake, and "spline" spleen. The most noteworthy of the other recommendations of the commission is the suprossion of the circumflex accent, leaving only two and the grave. HOYT (.iO'l accents, tlho .acute Til K UED, How a Fat Western Man at a, Hotel. Made Room A VENAL PEDAGOGUE. Taught For Twenty-Seven Dollars a Month and Not Another Darned Tiling. Detroit Free Press. One day as I rode along the banks of the north fork of tho Kentucky river, I came to a log school house, an institution usually conspicuous by its absence in that section. It Avas about one o'clock,, and the teacher, a lank strip of humanity in homespun clothes, sat on a log,Avatch- ing a lot of noisy children at-play. "How are you?" I said, as I pulled up and the children gathered around. "Howdy?" he replied, driving the children away. "Are you the school teacher?" "Yes;; I reckon I am?" "Wlrnt kind of a school have you?" "Only fair to middlin'." "You have much competition?" "No; eddicalion ain't popular in these parts." "Don't the children like books?'" "Not unless they can tear the leaves outeu 'cm." "Oau/t you make them study?" trying." been teaching "I notace l.hal. Col. Jim McNassar is in town," an old-timer said to a reporter for tho Denver News, "which reminds me of ,'ui awfully funny incident in connection ^^itl^ his proprietorship of the okl Hunters' house In Denver. Among the arrivals at the hotel one evening away back in those days was C. P. Hoyt of Golden. Ho was then a 200- pountlor, and the very picture of robust health, as ho is HOAV. Proprietor Mc- Nassar met him in his usual suave AA T ay, but Avas sorry to inform him that he didn't: have a vacant room in the house. There was no other place to go, and so Hoyt informed the colonel that he would have to stiow him away somewhere. The best: ho could do Avas to give him a room-and bed Avith a stranger Avho arrived from the east a, few days before, and, then; being no other choice, Hoyt consented. It. :was iiboiit 11 o'clock Avhen the big Golden man went to his room wliieh wns very small, and the bed occupied, by a very frail man. of about 25, AvliCKiex.pressod some surprise at Hoyt's arrival and Immediate preparations for bed. The occupant of the bed asked several questions, <which Hoyt humorously answered: " 'Now, don't pay a bit of attention to me, partner. I am subject to lits, and should I have one in the night don't bo alarmed, but''get right up and set on mo ai«l hold,,mo down, and it Avill pass off in half hour or so.' "The stronger Immediately manifested uneasiness and he fixed his. glaring eyes on the Golden ninn. He. had heard .of toughs and cow-boys and rough mountaineers and he was ' very sure that Hoyt Avas all of these combined. The oastener hitched liimself over to the front sido of the bed, as he thought unobserved, and with his eyes still fixed on his room-mate he reached for his shoes and then his other articles of clothing, and before he arose from bed he Avas more than half dressed, and in another minute ho was gone, making the excuse that he had forgotten something at the office. He considered liis escape most remarkable, and AA'hen he reached the hotel office he related his most strange adventure to Col. McNassar, who tried in vain to assure him that Hoyt was a good fellow and not a dangerous man, and begged him to go back, tp his, rp,onx, put; the castener, ' '' ' " ' ' J '"'•" ^scaped, with, his ;^«!Maia«ft»Jik'^ M j jflnvlleh,t|(|

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