The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on January 20, 1892 · Page 6
Get access to this page with a Free Trial
Click to view larger version

The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

Publication:
Location:
Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, January 20, 1892
Page:
Page 6
Cancel
Start Free Trial

Page 6 article text (OCR)

DE8 MOttfflS} ALGOiVA, tOWA, „„ ,. , „ - -j ._ » , _. - -^ -,v u . . . _ _ 7.,_ I, . _ .^ „ .. ,._.^_ . . .. J . t^ - -, . .-,,.„ ,J^ iL.. JANtJARY 20, "Feminine Vanity. yo totllls £" k !i lld ""H"/ n-nfl fpnttiem ftrirt fur, jewels and paid hnrl boon nil for her, Since the M-orld boprnn ! Whore Is lilfi memory? Let him survey , Thfc . mneciillne l.alf of our Morions' rnoo From ti.p flrst the savage tliiit piilntod his fiico. • • To tliodudo of to-day. Ohl.ixrb tho twlsls and curls, The i Intricate patterns In red, black and _. blue, Tho wearisome torture of noli tattoo, Just rnndo for girls? It It oriVtlio Fqiinw tvho flies the teeth, And duiiRlos the lips, and bores the enr; And wears bracelet and necklet and link- let na queer As the bones bciicath? took at tho soldiers, tho nobles, tho klnirs Bg-ypt or Greece or Itomo discloscs- Iho purples and perfumes and ucms aud roses On mascu took at the men of tho IOIIR- i) -rlc Airtjs: Hcroos, too, In their cloth of irold. with Jewels us thick us tho cloth could IJOld, Oil tho knights and pages. "Our feet rte- tho warrior "French heels?" "Slmrp toes?" I'll cod?" But thoro was a time when V • fi'fco Tlod tho toobf his shoe to hlg manly knce- YOB, and evert hla waist! •Wo wear faleo hnlr?" Our man looks lilir; Bui. It s nol so lonp-.loliino venture to elate. BInoo evory trcntloninn shaved his pato And worn u tt'lgfl "Wo purl and stuff?" Our mun looks bolder. Don t RptMih ol' Iho timo when a hrun-Jlllod bunch Miulo nn English gentleman look like Hut—feel of his eliauliicrl "Fomlnlnp vanity?" 0 ye gods, hear to NIL-BO men I Vanity's wide as tho woi-ld Is wide: Look ni the pcuo ek In his pride- Is II. u. I on? —Kitlo Tluld'H Wuslilniuiton, "A quarrel with yer Swatehearl, is It, mo b'y? Sure an' that's the lightest thrubble yo cud hev, but it weighs tho hivviesl. Weomin' is sthraugo cattle; an' the longer yo know thitn the still-anger ye'll find thin;. "Maizie au' mo lies been uiarrit this fifteen years back, aud sometimes I do be thinkiu' it's a new Maizie I'm mak- iu' the acquentauce av, ivory day. But, faith, auuy wan av the ould wans was good enough for me! > "Did we quarrel, is it, me and Maizie when wo were coorlin'P Did wo do anuylhin' else till tho ring wint au her finger? An' it was nick an' go, but 1 lost her altogether the last timo we fell out. "Ye see, I was wantin' me iling bo- fore I'd settle down wiih Maizie. I bed a loose foot, an' a fella for it; au' there wasn't a dance or a wcddin' but I luk the 11 uro an' mo pick an' chico av gairls. "For awile it wint well enough, an' Maizio-'s huffs an' sulks was pepper to tho potaties—I was that sure av her, d'ye mind? But whin Long Casey be- giu to walk home from chapel with her, an' she wudn't look ou the same side o' the road I was an "An 1 that wasn't bad enough till he began to slravaguo about the lane she lived in; an'one night I seen her on the bank av the river with him, an' whin she left him she hurried past me in tho moonlight, ruuniii' like a fain' •whin I spoke lo her—Maizie, runniu' ;away from me! • "Afiher that, for weeks, I cud n't :got a word with her. She uiver kern out alone, an' her mother an' the chil- •dreu was always about her iu the house, an' she sine back the letlhera 1 wrut her, 'iihoul breakin' the wafer. .An' by this time, gairls an' dunciu' was Jittli! ihrtibble lo me. 1 was losiu' me slape an' Uio taste o' me vittles, au' mo face was Ihe color av a dab uv whitewash ou a dhirly wall. 'Casey was always hangiu' about, with her father an' broihcrs; an' hi.s iutiulioiis was well known to all, an' well approved uv. An' if ii wus u'l for ihe wldda mother he had, me owu mother's crony, an' the dacintest soul in the parish, I'd ha' bate him black an' blue, for preshoomin' tho way la- did. % "Well, fine marniir i wiii.siied u| "• au' skirted over ihe buck fields io Muizie's house. The flowers was bloomiu', 1 remember, un' tho big rosios was oui; but I thought U slhraiigo to see no soul about the place. "I wint up to tho dure an' lucked in. an' there was Maixie siltin' with her little sister au her knee, combiii' an' ciirliu' tho child's white hair about her finger. "I was thol hoongry for tho sight av her thot I stood gapin 1 like a foot '"The top o' the maruin' to yo. Miss Gar-r-r-vey,' says I, whin I got holt uv mo tongue, an' mekiu 1 me v'ice up us bold as 1 cud. "•Kino day, Misther Hnmlhrigan.' sez she, with as much impereiice us if I was comin' to vucoinel Uio family. •Me father au' mo brothers is down at the bog below,' sez she. "'And good weather they have,' BOZ I. "'An mo mother,' sez she, 'is awav at Dhrinistevelliu,'' sez she, 'to sell life bull her.' "But by this timo I was in' an' luckin' about me for a stool to sit on '"I'm glad to hear ii, Muizio, 1 sex, I, 'for I'm comin' lo sec I/OM.' '"Oil, yo can hoy no business wiih me. Misther llandhrigan,' sez she, ourlin' her pretty nose"; 'no business', I am sure, sir, whaliver, with mo.' "•Ye're wrong there, sez I; 'iu nuii- uess, an' important, business I hev; an' I can't spake before the child,' sez 1. "•Sure an'yo can,' sez she; 'what does the child know about business?' 1 "'1 can't spake before Ihe child on my business.'st'z I, mighty delarmiued; 'sind her iulo the gar-r-rden to pick a posy. 1 "Til do Liothin' av Iho kind,' sez she, tossing her head. -Posy, unlade! It's well yo desarve oue! Soake or lave it alone, 1 sez she. 'Wait,'vei Dalia, love; Muizio Ml soon be douit.' "•Mebbe ihe pusios is a-saviu 1 for Long Casey,' sez I, ragiu', but quiet like. . "•Miibbe thov are,' sez she- 'at unnv rate, he'd not be sindin' ihe child to pick thim.' "No; yersilf wud sincl her fast jugh, thin,' soz I. '"Is that the business keui to spuke aliput. Mistlur HaridhriganP'-' «ez she. flush-in' like wildfire, and'bUto' her lips. , , , ; . 5 i . ' 5 '"It's Drtr.r^'t'av jt,J aba I) 'anymore is. that from ehft time forrit I'll put no trust in weemim'' •••Poor thingsl Wlmt'll become of thf.niP' .eez she., ....'-.". !' • . > •••Scott', i^ve like,"says I; ,but them's twiuty gairls Liinight. : ti' had .for. tho askin'— '— ' • , ' ' •"The crayliirds!' sez she. b'iirsl&'n' out with a lau^h. 'Sure, an'ye'reW't' a Turk entirely,' sez she. "•But I've lathed 'wan lesson,'sez "'Only wiinP'!,:-.sez she. -That's a poor, stale of ignorance"; isn't it f Dal In; dear?' 1 •:•-•. . ., .- "•But it'll last me a ]ife-timo. :1 srzi. '"U wud iiade.to, 1 saj-s she. 'Aisy, now, me lambie; ye'll see the mirty curls, how.nicu they'll look. 1 ' "; "•I'm goin' to Ameriky, the da'v aflher In-morrow,' sez I, coinin' the biggest lie I cud think av, an' walchiu'.' her fiicn. expectin 1 lo see the bi<' tea'rs in a miiuitef for that was always the way with her, ii-liiiigli an' a cry i'u one breath—but, faith, I didn't know me gairl. •"Turn yer head a bit, Dalia,' soz she, cumblii' an' twistin' awav at the HiigleK 'Sure an' that'll be a nice jaunt for yo, Misther IlandlmVaii,' says she. '"I'm goiu' wiih a lonely wretched har-r-r-rl. if ihut'll' make' it a nice jaunt, Muizio,' sez I. "Why, but yo'll take wan av thim gairls ye were minlioiiin'P' si-zs!ie. '"I might do worse,'sez 1., : •"Sure an' ye might,' sez she. tyiu 1 a bit av ribbon round the child's head,' an' nivor turniu' to luck at mo. "'Well, I'll be sayin'good-bye to ve Miss Gar-r-r-vcy. 1 sez I, lakin'me hat up alt' tho flu re. '"Good-byo an' good luck to ye,' sez .she. as cool an' civil as tho bailj'ff coni- m' to luck for the May Day riut.' "'An' ye'll toll thim I'm" crossin' the ocean,' sez I, gitlin' me stick out o' the earner; an', faith, I felt as if the lie I was tellin' was hardeuiu' into a truth, lor I knew Oirlau 1 ' wud niver hould tHE SECKEL PEAR, fat Alore tlmn Fifty t>nt tlnvlnfr MPCII Tiist«-d. With- '"He w'ho discovers a new dish con- fe.fs a greater benefit ou mankind than lie wl.i.p.dispoVors a new star," says a famous,w.riter, and the majority of pei-sons ; would be willing to accept the -••talitmont-.-:without .dissent, savs ' the Yoidh'.f Gdmp'anion. Five miles from Pi'iiludel.jfiliia, al the confluence of the Delaware and Schuj'lkill rivers, there i* a line, old .place, once known as the L.-iwrence .Seckel estate, afterward the properly qf..Stephen ' Girarcl. In the lini/'.of.tltS'geckeis t|)6 abundance and variety of its fruit, especially its fine pears, made : the ]>lace famous. Not many years ago there WHS-.still •&ta|itl- ing in a eorner,of the grounds an ' bid pear-tree—a very patriarch among tl'e tree.", and ihe most celebrated of them. all. EOT more than' a lialf-ceutury the.' fruit of this iree wils not tasled." Np'. one thought of eating the insignificant' 'pears—not much larger than marbles— and ihe tree was coifteuinnd.as worlli'. less, while its fruit rotted on' the sri'iuiud or was eaten by cows or goa'ts. Mr. Seckol,Lawrence's father.tlireatdh- e'd many times to cut down the tree, but years passed aud it stood, bidiug its timo. ,-., How it, came there or who planted il no one know. Lawrence Seckol.' came into possession of Hie estate'," and' has to work for ^jSf'intendedj father- in-law lota cert arh'time, very 'jOf ten for four years, and sometimes longer. During this timtf Ho must hYihd his p's and q's, for if he/doles ahythifatf wrong he is,instantly. disbarded v .Mefy fre- quenii^'*hscriij}n^e.usi-fathers make ft: practice of dishVlss'ing tlieh? daughtersi.' young men oOi'the mefest pretense! thus -.enriching «themsel*'esi i ib'y • their, gratuitous labors.^., -' : f.i...; ; .'' • A strange pt-^ic'e i? tliat of-'belrofli- me, once I said good-bye to Maize. "i will, indade,' soz shu, polite a plisiut, but niver afferiu' toshiiku i.m, an' to shake hands plisiut, with mo. ".•Well, good-bye; 1 sez I, again; "'Good-bye, sir,' sez she, luck in 1 at me, this lime, with her big sliinin' blue eyes, nn' sorra the hint av a tear to be seen. • "Ah. me b'y, whin I sen Maizie's oyns luckin' at mo like that. I thought J was do'tie for, sure enough! Mo own tears was beginuin' to choke me, so I turned about, an' walked awav, across the Ilure; but jest es I rai'ched the (lure, ready to step out— ' "'Dalia,'sez she, Toon into the'ffiir- a posy for Mister r-rden, an' pick Hntulhrigan. * * * ' *•".'• •» "But faith, whin the back, it was little I cared for uosies. —Madeline S. llridyes. in Puck.' child » kern II, to meka long story short one .ruin' I whistled up me onurai'i! HOW1ES OF THE JcLLYBYS. Alniiy Amorlonn Fumlll,.s Who Copy After Thoso rinuiiim People. Looking at some "cluttered up" households we were reminded of the philanthropic Mrs. Jollyby's family who, if they had possessed the entire space of St. Paul's for a .'habitation would only have found it to be so much more room to be untidv in. People who are untidy in tt small house are likely.to be still more untidy in a biw one. Pew of us can al\va3 ; s achieve thai comfortable doctrine of a place for everything and everything in ils place. The first part of the saying is about as far as a good many gel. But there is no question, of its being the only rule for comfortable housekeeping. Take a small sitting-room, distribute about it two or three newspapers, a box of toys; a work-basket a lew unmeuded stockings, and perhans !l ll'll- nv nrtnt- ,M.rl ...l>..t < , ,' the pear tree, being ina'seuse ati ancient landmark, was allowed to.stand, .although the.owner had it in mind to cut. it down some timo. One afternoon in early fall Mr. Seckel was returning from a long walk and chanced to pass beneath'Hie worthless tree, lib stood for a minute resting in its-shade. Suddenly a pear dropped,struck him upon, the head, from which ho had' : removed' his hat, and rolled into his open palm. Half atilomalically he fumbled the' fruit between his lingers, and was in the acl of throwing it away when it occurred to him io" bile il. "Ah, the lluvor of that pear," 'Mr.-'Seckel used lo say. iu 1-olliug ihe incident; "I- ; h<id thought myself a connoisseur in peaj.-s, but 1 hud never tasted •>,the equal [of thai aforetime despised little fr'nit.'" Tiius was the Seekel pear discovered. That year the pears were nol le.ft Uo rot on thn-ground or to feed cows>;ancl !i*at.s. They became the favorite- on Mr. Seckel's table.' Scions from the tree were soon in ^demand, and the Seckol rioa'r has now become a favorite. i-piiiiisliiHont ol' Oi-iniei in Wii^laria The English laws, or rather;; mairis- iralos,punish ofi'eiises against propet'lv. more severely than offenses'.! agairis"f, person. The stealing .of anV". article,, however smfijl,]., is punished -often with" several months' 'imprLsrimiibWt at hard labor, while'"tlie "costermonger for? ••jumping on'his mother"'gels but'';ii- JV'.v day's incarceration, m'in'us the hard labor. Wife-beating, a favorite prafc- lico amonsr w-lrnt ui-o ternvp'd.ihe lower classes, is scarcely punished at nil, '.irti-' less the wife .dies." Even- then, unjtiss' douth occurs 'immediut(,-,ly, the .brute receives but a Comparalively Hi.'lit''sen- tence. 'On Ihe other liiiiid.a de'iibe'raLe murder- perpetrated •" wiih' a deiidly weapon, o.r by puisoii;>"i.s folioweil".-by the haiigiug.of'ilie..ii.iurderer vviihin a few weeks, llecently,a murderer .W-a's hanged within a fdi'thight of tii.e!de»lh- ami burial of his vie'tim. •" ''• ''..• .. UNCIVILIZH^,MARRIAGES.. . .•'- JiK-or C»reiii(iiiie8 ,i>y Which the Brldp- ••'lirroijiii KncfiivKK Ilia Bride. ing a girl" hbfpre' she /is born, cbn-^ ditioually of,gpTirse. .The C<i so.. , : .But the" gi^is aliowedr,an opppr-". ttinity on her.bfTdal morning'.of winning;, tier JfFeedpm,flliould sheilisriku. the j manl ber j -pa'rents.!lj4'Ve' chosdu ;; f6U her," Thp ii'iarriage .cd'rbniony is'.-periformed bj the.-bride 'riding aw'ay.f at" full, spee^l .•piirsued by.'th^.bridegi^pmi who .'must •capture her.aWil bring het.liack) if ;he 'fall to dp so/Hti is deei'n'ed.unworthyi oi h'e'r hand. --Vfery rare'1-y-can 'a Calniuc .lilily be-Wflrtaken iiHle'ss.-^lie has li pjir- tialily for.'.her piirsiier..,;y . - : .'j'.' :,- In some, \ia.rls f of India an exlrabr- diuarx.cereluouy. is~pel-formed. ( 1'he bridegrbonij' bride,. 1 and-;priest drive bow and fealf intb the' water, aud '.tli all three'lay.a hanclolHthe while,t'h.o.ipriest,pours ;8omo watet' it frpm,rt-brass vessel, \ by which- : WIT AND lltlMOR. from himself.— >'$one ..bat' 1 -- the brave attend 'the oWr'oli mbttier ji-;.,'il Gann'otsaScroount for it,? 1 .•the defaulting bank caSW Siflinijs.. . •'-..': s ::...• .'.... ,f :, • f • ' There «tl>e' too iiiauy reformers w'ho ' ' --' tie'ver a hen qow's-'-'lail on act the c'piuplg;!are,.ji>iue'd forever ju the bonds'.p£ji'jiatrimony..'.The priest claims the 1 cbw/abd."calf;- /together Wiih all nipnpy 'tl/o hdp_py pair, may give,'to : the iddJH to propitiate'.'tlie.m as a..,recom- peiise f pjt-,his iroublej .-••'?' •"When,tj 'young-. 'Savoyard.;.goes a-. a miserable, a hat or coat, and what untidy place it looks. Nor is it right for the house mother to go about picking up after the careless ones. Let each member of tjie household learn tiial tilings mustalways lie bestowed iu their proper plucu's without trusting to the one tireloss worker lo straighten things up.. The boys who always expect ."mother" lo do their tidying up, grow into the men who must be wailed ou so constantly by their wives. Nor is it only'the bovs who need a leciuro in this respect. How many girls we know who slam down their hats and jackets on removing them, without a thought of laviue' them away. " How often the best frock is carolfs'sl ly put aside instead of belli out and put bv Compared wit'ly'ihe . simple rites of Jess civilized people,, our marriage ceremony seemsji trying ordeal for = a young and btishful -.cpuple to go iliroiigh. says..tli(! London .^.'id-SUs'. Ti'e, Gherokjieform of marriage is per-' 1 haps the simplest and most expressive juin hu Tliu.;man and Woman r h'ierely ids(qver a running steaiii'.'-'e'ui- shaken put by carefully. And then they wonder lhal their olothos so soon look shabby. A meiit will outlust well-cared for n-, u ._ two that are 'lust slammed around, and next to "emu-good clothes come taking care of thuiu! thill- s health Jour/Ml. No Advantage, A man whose head was perfectly bald sat down in a chair in a Griswold street barber-shop with q. grin on his face, and as he was being lathered .said: "I suppose 3'ou have observed that I am buhl-headed?" "Yes, sir: I has obsarved it, sah," replied tho barber. "Ruthor got thp advantage of you, 611» "How, sah?" "Why, you can't very well ask me if I want my hair cut." "No, sah, I can't, sah; but I wishes to call your 'teushun lo my h'ar re newer—61) cents a bottle—a pin-t in a boltle —make your,h'ar grow in fo' weeks, sah!' 1 — Detroit' Free 1'ress. Kronoh IJpyoott. The French models have resolved to boycott any painter employing Italians. Tiic-ir broad is being taken from them in their own laud. The model's foe. ' which has obtained for a great nianv year-, is Jive francs u day, and there are UUi! models iu the official lisl, 600 of them boing_ Italians. The l.-iiter have been cutting the price to four francs. There are only 120 French models, 80 Germans, 45 EnsrlUh. 80 Americans, 4 Ausiriuns, 2 Portuguese, aud } irisli (firl. iiiomatieal.pf the wish,that, Iheir future lives, liojfes, and aspirations "should How in tjic.same chahneli'. ' "']'I .V BelwecMMln- moirutliiiis of huija and; IVrsia isjii: powerful tribe; amongAvhom MI (fxiraordinary, • 'custom prevuiltf. U'oiiHm'-s rignis lipparetflly luivo rer .-e-ived-full recognition. Tor? Lhe';,'ladies ol ihe tribe cuu cho.oao tluuir pxvn huS' .laiuls.; All u .single ludy luis Lo.ilO when -ho 'Wishes lo change her stale,, is IP send a survauno pin a •. handkerchief U) the luti of :tlie man u'u; whom her i'anuy lights and he is obliged.,to marry lij;r, except.he can show-.bu .is.t'oo poor ;i'o purchase her.at'the price her father 'requires. • • ;'.' ::•'• '.'. i T:re wa> theSinhalese and- Tartar tribes have of popping the questfoii is about as singular as their r ifiarriag0 rites. The man sends and piii'rchases the lady's wearing apparel. Of'cpursol if she d»es nol like the geutlelHau' she need not part with the contonts'pf hot wardrobe; but if ho is Ihe favored one, she ireadily does so, knowing thai when the evening comes they..will be returned to her by the suitor ••••\ti- per-, son. He spends-the "night benoiith tup same roof with her, and next -.lav? after ii certain amount of feasting 'is"»'--gone through, tho couple's ihumbs ahi tied together, ami thenceforward tlie'v' are man and wife. . '.•"•'•• In certain parts of Africa a custom once prevailed (aud may still) "oTthe bride bringing u bowl or calabash of water for the bridegroom to waslV 1 big hands in. If ho condescended '{p" do so she there and then 'acknowledged him as her lord aud master, and Hiore- over drank the water as a proof pf'her love and fidelity, aud cases have been known where a copious shedcliuo- of tears of joy and thankfulness accompanied Uio latter act. Amou.o- some of the aboriginal races of America tho would-be bridegroom sometimes experienced considerable difficulty in winning a bride. There was a matrimonial mount on which the priest stood, around which the swain had to chase the fair one. If lie was not a favored suitor the lady generally managed to make tho circuit three times before being overtaken in which case she was not compelled to marry her pursuer. How amusing it would be in this country to see a fat old bachelor (that is, if minus of riches) chasing a nimble maiden round a, hillock. But infinitely more trouble has a youth'of the Philippines ere he is aU lowed to take a wife to his bosom. After the parents on both sides have come to tenus the young gentleman. .\ifpod-U.ndisjurbcd: on the hqarth it is a ;SjLgu he is jvyelcbme; but sJipukl shy place one of the; ; b|aziug faggots in art upright.position against the, others ; : It is a hint-for hiul to take liis departure; j';u! WHY HUM BUG THRIVES. ''. • liocnuso Some -Fcnpln Don't Know Whnt .'"; to Do With Their.Money. •;-.'. ItJiasbeen figured how much 'families'- who, maintain great establish- me'ii'is, like the' 'Asiors, the Van'der- biltu, the Bpiinouts, , A or Goelets,- can sppn.d in a year. With incomes rung- iu'g-'anywhere.vfrom $250,000 to. $1.000.- OOU says -thO'-'lllnstmted American. tnese. people. liud it wretched hard work to get rid of .$160.000 a.year. No wonder I hut they invest in i u'go steam yachts and , diamond stomachers. A .bo\- lit thn,h)inru. a ball or two, horses ;.atiii carriagii.s.. and. a retinue: of ser. vants take only a.dipperful'out of tho 'barrel; and theu.'.tlie opera'.box is as often'let as riot,,'the balls turn to ashes, :tue horses, and.Carriages, are knocked ; abput oyor. I ho. worst pavements in the Ayorld,'iiHil a mi,iltiplicalipu.'-of domestics only means su many more drunks anil incompetents below stairs. The iiiorc fac.L'tna'tiall the tbwu insists upon, crowdinjrjinto thq. .uncomfortable couliues.pf Dclmouico's when it wauls to give ; a v bfUl or eat a luncheon proves how.^utterly withoilt resource Now Tni-k is'-ns:a-dispenser' of amusement and co'iiifoft. The-,'theaters, truly enough, compare favorably with Ihe best of Paris and Lpndou, but they begin at an hour when 'most people prefer to be at dinner; and'if a 'play' succeeds at all, it is kept .oil the boards .until it dies of old age.. "Iflower shows, horse shows and dog shows—all very well and prettv in their way, but. neither intellectual "nor endliriug—are. seized upon bv society with au, absurd avidity born of ennui.' A new singer or pianist or violinist is hunted like, a quarry, and made amused .but happy to find that he can command ridiculous prices to go and amuse people at their own houses. Men take to clrjnk or hunting, according as the frost, is hard or soft; women baud themselves . together into all 'sorts'of classes aud cabals to be imposed upon by posturers - and "Del- .sarleans," simply to kill time. Evory kind of humbug"thrives aud prospers iu Ne\y York, simply because the people whp live .there and have muuoy to spend are-crazy to be amused." HARV-.ST OF "GROWLERS." Tlvn C'ollecfnr of Tin Caim Has « t»rgor Income Than Must PnrHiing Think. •'The lot of the tin-can collector, whose livelihood depends practically upon the rim of solder which holds the •:different pieces of the receptacle together, is by no means a sinecure says a New York paper. At all seasons it is .unpleasant enough, but to "anglin"- .about during tho"burning days of sum" mer upon a curl loaded with'tin, every square inch of which is drawing its share of the sun rays, requires more energy than some might imagine. The tin-cans are broken, rousrh and rustv, bi sides being hot to the touch aud often foul-snielling. The collectors ,havo to prowl about at unseasonable limes and in all sons of strange places. Ihey "stand in" with servants of lar^e to do any work at ' '' '' " ' The \vheelwrig'ht slioiild be. Selected .g.s .apokjesinani.-'forjjie trades unioO.— MfashinytQ.!} Slar. .'. ....-'• :, "We must have ah. organ to- support us," as the man said to his monkey.!— Washington Star. • -.. r * r . Th4 ^auibler.whp follows his ante.is often "ppliged to hunt 'up''his uncl^.—. Texas'*-Siftin<js, Nothing so' vividly reminds lia of the brevity of. life as a ..thirlyrday ..note.— . Te,mt8i;8 if tings.. .' -Let me give., : you.' : a. wrinkle," as Time said to the mature beauty's.face. — Baltimore American, All who invest in good de.eds here will be cutting coupons in tho swcetby and by.—Pillsburg- Dispatch. .'. ""See with what a swagger the farmer Walks now 1" "Yes;' a sort of" corn 1 — Baltimore American. tailors don't seeitf tpf beVifl tlie 'right veiji. — LowM*Cbit)'idr, -W-ifd-r-"! <Wt think,! Ah all get » new bonnet '-this month, but I. shall have" my old one trimmed over." Hus. band— ' . . bt'ess . dear." Jttfife— .(Jive me $25. • for , tn breaduiakiug, as iu baseball, there is. nothing like a good batter in the hour of knead. — liing/iamtoh Leader. ;'. Most men tell secrets to prove that they have been considered trustworthy of being told them. — Atchison Qjflbe. The recording angel never strikes a balance on his bpok^ by what is said of a man ou his gravestone. — Rani's Morn.. A tombstone is about the only place where the average man really doesn't care to have his name iu print. — Washington Star. . Wick wire — "Is it true that Mudge has joined the church?" Yabsloy — "It is. Ho did so on au election bet." — IncKunapolis Journal. People are always ready to applaud when o'Jier tiien's'rich relatives leave their money to public and charitable institutions.— Atchison Olobe. "Honesty is the best policy aftorall," said the old politician. "How do you know," asked the funny man, "did you over try UP"— Detroit Free Press: St. Peter— "What can I do for you, youjig mauP" Kodak Fiend— '"Call out St. Peter for a minute until I can get a snap at him." — N. Y. Herald. Wo have noticed that the cheaper the trousers a young man has on the more fur ho puts on Ihe 'collar and cnli's of his overcoat.— Atchison Globe. She— "I would siill love you if you asked me lo live in a cot." ,He— "How about a Hat?'' She (.sighiu"')— "Even love has 'its limitations.""— N. Y. Wife—''Poor Mr. Zaueigh! 1'hear tiiat-"bt«-fflmH}'- f *fo« : ltles-- nre preying upon hiSiitoind.l! Husband —v..."0'. if Uiat's so, th(!v'lj.fioor) b*e at att" - end." .Wife—"How?" Husbiiud.— .'/' starve to death.' 1 — Harpers "Well,Harris,did you call on Maud's father?'' "1 did." "How did you come out?" "I've been trying to remember. It' was all so sudden, I don't know whether ifwas'by tlie .vvin- .dow.orthe elevator ahafl."— Harper's Bazar. Olara—"You know , Cora has, been taking a course of millinery with a view to trimming herowii hats, in the future, and I have jus,t learned .that she has stopped." Maud—"Why, what has she stopped for?" CI'ara-^-"Her •money ran out."— (Jloak lieview. • ."It surely cannot be true that-Maud.' Haul-ton is engaged, to a coutractorP" "I fear so." ''How awful! But .what sort of a coutractpr is he!" "Only a contractor of debts." '-0! I hardly thought it possible that she would "disgrace u?;"— Indianapolis Journal.. Winebiddle—"I hear that you dictated to your new typewriter, an impassioned love letter to aiiolher girl." Gildcrslceve—"Yes, it was lo a fictitious s" eel heart. I wanted to uiii in the hii'i iiii'j 1 designs she might have in a matrimonial way." — Brooklyn Life. , "• • A Famous Lake. The wife— -Before we married you prom.isod to let mamma visit us as often as she pleased. ''v-The husbaud — "Well, she has ceased to please." — Life. Carruthers— "I wonder if Do Broke regards marriage as a lolierv?" Wake — "No, but poor Mrs. De 'B. rather looks upon it as a game of draw." _ N. .,..— "You sent for me, sir?" Captuin. — "Yes, sergeant. Double- quick the company up and down here a few limes; it makes Ihe baby lau"-|i."— Itixas Sif tings. ". • ° . There are plenty of meu who, if placed "between the devil ami the deep sea," would not 'stand the least drowned.— Indian- chance of beiujj upoiis Journal. "I don't like the figure of that car- pot," said the wife,as she looked at tho ioor. "Neither do I" said the husband, as he looked at the bill.— Baltimore American. "So your son has been starring as an Hor, Mr. Cashcouutcr?" "Yes." Who 'is Early in this century AutoineDufour, a prisoner in an Indian camp on the margin- of a lake in what is .now Soiuhorn . Washiugton, fell iutc the water while trying to escape from his captors. Dufour was a sufferer from rheumatism, else the accident would nol have happened lo him. Tho bath instead of sljffeuiug his joints seemed lo have a,, healing effect, and tho Frenchman tried the experiment of immersing himself daily in the waters wiih wonderful results. He soon 'had the free and painless use of his limbs. Subsequently, when he made his escape,Dufour spread tho report of the curative properties of the lake. But in the thinly settled wilderness of that time no one was very much .interested iu healing waters. " For three score years little was heard of Modical Lake, as itjs now culled. In 1872 Andrew Le Favre took up a quarier-secl'ion of land where Ihe village of Medical Luke now stands. Le Favre knew nothing of the virtues of the water until his sheep, which were troubled with a skin disease, were cured by slaking their thirst at the brink. Le Favre 'tried the waier for his rheumatism, and it left him. " 'To-day the fame of the lake has spread far and wide. It is situated on the Columbia River plateau about sixteen' mill!? southwest of Spokane, and is 2,800 feet above the level of the sea. The stratum of the country round about is basaltic. The lake is sixty feet deep, half a mile wide, and a mile long. The water is of a greenish tinge, and no plants crow near the water. Animal life is also absent, and an unbroken silence broods over the dark pool. The water has a snecific gravity of 1,012, and holds so "much alkali in suspension that after bathin^ the body feels as if it had been oiled"! A shampoo for the head is easily had by rubbing the water in with tho hands.. When ihe surface is furrowed by a strong breeze "a lathery foam torms on the shores. Strange to say a species of terrapin lives ou the bottom o.t the lake, and in its depths but never rising to the surface, roams a creature, half hsh aud half lizard, that is known as the "walking fi.sh," the Mexican actor, Mr. CashcouutcrP' "Do tell me all about him! supporting hiniP" "I am." — Dalii- more American. Druggist-"You might have charged that young man $2 for filling that prescription. Why did vou miPn,o .,..:... Col. A Double City. McClure has Bristol, Va., Teun., as paragraph from a rccenlToW,- date this letter Bristol, Va a0bfl " l ° llu o" beeu visiting the followiug TTui ri Had I happened lo slop su ' m of t a t'l" city. hotel on — Good Bunk teller (as ho reaches the <r at0 s of heaven) —"Are you St. Peter?" St '' 1 aln '" /•' / ji" 77. ~ ™ J ~"' i(lent itieatiouP"— h.nte Field's Washington. d.,v'ft lll ,JtY u S • for - offico the otlici lay? asked Spig glus of a defeMed T r i 'V}, 1 , 1 ' tho candidate 1 waked. The other ran. —tiomerville Journal. fellow hotels and households, tho men w ho .. j. - --- — — — .>. v| v*(W J-lJlfU \\IHI tuivo charge of garbage dumps, janitors of asylums, hospitals, and all sorts of queer people, and their compensation is simpiy the permission to cart away the old cans, which nine-tenths of .^humanity are glad lo be rid of. '" . The can rounds as collectors early as start on their 4 o'clock every morning, and keep going from place to place until their wagous are full. If they are fortunate they usually get a load -by noon or thereabouls, aud Ihe rest of the day is devoted to burning. The caus are heaped high in a lot, jtind the patient horse aud much- abused cart started out once more to some saw mill or carpenter shop for shavings. It does not require a great amount of heat to set the solder running, and when there is nothing left of tho U'uo but the embers the tin is swept away, the embers raked away aud tho solder collected. It is heated once more in a kettle aud run iuto bars, It is now ready for sale to some local plumber, and the day's work is done. Comedian—-I've bad news for you old man; our leading ] a dv, your wife has eloped with the 'bill poster» Manager--Horrible! How a?e we ever to get that next town billed?'^!! MissDePrgtty-"Iwas out today with Mr, Swellhead, the or . the Hightone Magazine Author (rival suitor) —"Did '•• for the rig i w. riding editor Bristol, lation the old only on id outsiders know all hough _at the sacred shrine "of ni i, 'Ml. ~ ----,., , , , are somo odd mountain ^ ~.» from tho Bears formerly ran wild in Great llniniti. They were not exterminated in Si'uiiuinl uil just before the time of W {Ilium i he Conqueror. ftiul ties ever got into the collar?'1 dou t know, my dear. I never an empty bottle in my ]ifo \,_ lyn Life. ' ~ Mrs. Bold--"Mv husband i '•Why, How can I cure him? very Tailor—"How wide a collar P" lt . 1 °V°» p overcoat, sir?" Customer -"Make it so wide that when - Not one watchmaker in a hundred can lit a mainspring properly, uud hot one in fifty knows a correct "one when he sees it,— W. #. 4- /h -..-...: medley ., bo performed. A of national or • A -ill Uiually co='^ x ^a Sjj a .,. --- that v,u S «'se in the shade, tad is • u 8OUthwi » used with tune is

Get full access with a Free Trial

Start Free Trial

What members have found on this page