The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on December 30, 1891 · Page 2
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 2

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, December 30, 1891
Page 2
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-7 THE UJPPEH DBS MOINES, ALGOKA, IOWA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1801. __ i . _ -A-* _„ , (7 . ... J. ^. -»,„), ^ '..*_-*_ ..- _.. .* 7 * - -- A**-«- . - ' „__ . -. , JJ ^--l-^a • -' ^ .Irttfj- ALGONA, IOWA FumtDA, at HB ricent World's Fai convention, decided to raise $100,000 f6 its rtpesentation ntCbicngo in 1893, TUB governor of Nebraska calls for i load of corn to be contributed by tha state for the Russian sufferers. That ii the best food to send them. RUBSBIA axoK now keeps a body guard He ia»a stout, burly fellow who, when hii master is in his office, stands guatd at the door. TUB Prince of Wales will give his son a maniage portion which will be big enougq to show that thb old man is no in that impecunious condition genernlly credited to him. Jonw BiiOTcnBii has bequeathed his largo nnd elegant home at Buffalo, N. Y to be used as a homo for aged men, and also provided for the endowment of the institution with almost bin entire fortune eatimnled at $2,000,000. TUB movement to secure six r.ow rev enue cutters for the United States lake marine is commendable, but it mint be ad mittod that Commodore "Black Jack' fattaw has proved abundantly able heretofore to protect Uncle Sam's intercuts in these waters. TUB United States mints at Philadelphia, Now Orleans and San Francisco will begin coining the now-designed 10, 25 and 60 cent pi°cos on the second day of the new year. You will bo surprised to find how one of them will reach your pocket. TIIK plant established at Tshpeming, Mich,, by tho owners of the Michigammo i mine for tho separation of iron ore by electricity has proven a success. Tho works liavfc no far turned out 30,000 tons of Bessemer ore, By improvements being made tho low grade ores are refined into the best of Bessemer. Tun curious news comes from Bombay that an epidemic of cholera has broken out among shoals of sharks, those terrible monsters that infest the Indi'tn ocoan. The bodies of several British seamen who had died of cholera in the harbor of Bombay, wore taken out to sea and buried, and it is supposed that tho sharks contracted tho disease by foasiing on tho bodies of the human victims. TUB news of tho loss of two British steamers recently on tho Chinese 'coast during a severe gale, when taken with other reports of rtcont disasters in eastern waters, apparently show that the western Pacific is unusually stormy this season. Tho period of gieatest storminess following tho change of the Asiatic monsoons from southwest to northeast lias passed. But in this reirion tho Chinese coast w nil exception to tho general rule that with the establishment of tho northeast monnsoon blue, skies and settled weather prevail without serious interruption. THIS oldest bit of slang which can be tr.iced to a historical origin is said to be "he is a brick." Plutarch,Jin his ''life" of Lycurgus, gives an account of tho visit of an ambascador from Epirus to the city of 'Sparta, who saw much to admire nnd praise.'. 'But'he wondered greatly that Spo'rta'was not a walled town and asked tho explanation of its lack of defensive •works. No answer was returned that day. Early the next morning, however—for the Spartans rose at dawn—the Epiroto was awakened and conducted to tho Hold of exoroise outsido tho city, where- tho army of Sparta was drawn up in battle i.rray. "There," said Lyourgus, "are the walla of Sparta, and every man is a brick." In a country HO jealous of any invasion of personal .liberty thero has perhaps boon too much toleration of "cranks." Tho Qarfiold assassination, and tho New York ^ catastrophe and other similar incidents \ would seem to show that thoy constitute a dangerous element, and that wherever thoy hnvo boon known to make threats or to act with violence, it would be the part of true kindness to them, as well as tho public, which is practically at thoir mercy, to put thorn immediately whore thoy can do no harm. DIPLOMA OF HOJSOU. The society of American wood engravers has boon awarded tho groat diploma of honor of tho international exhibition of fine arts at Berlin. This is tho highest distinction conferred thoro, and thus tho superiority of American wood engraving to all others is worthily recognized. The artists represented were tho sumo as those whoso Paris exhibit was shown in Philadelphia last winter, including Victor Berustrom, W. 13. Closson, Timotheus Colo, John P. Davis, Frank French, Thos. Johnson, F, S. King, Elbridge Kingsloy, Qustav Kruell, R. A. Muller, Caroline A. Powell, S. G. Putnam, John Tinkey, F. H. Wellington and Henry Wolfe; ami by invitation of the society, W. P. Cleaves, Philadelphia, contributed some of his original engravings to tho exhibit. It is au interesting fact that this society has decided to make at tho Columbian worHV fair a purely art exhibit, cutting loose horn the publishers and presenting only original engravings. This is a noteworthy step forward in the assertion of wood engraving to au independent place among the arts. THE LATEST MWS. OBNBBAt. NOTES. OUT of a population of 40,000 person at Wilkesbarre, Pa., fully 25,000 have la grippe. WALT WHITMAN is reported to fo growing weaker, and it is not believed h< will last much longer. IT is reported that Robert I'. Lincoln United States minister to England, wil resign. THE Davis will contest at Butte, Mont, involving $8,000,000, is to be settled out,o court, A sucKBSPuij test of the governmen bureau of animal industry's method of in oculating swine was made in Illinois. JUDGE BLODOETT, of the federal dis Iricfc court for Northern Illinois, will ro sign to accept tho presidency of the Illinoi insurance company. ON Saturday, Charles Unclep, the firs OiloreJ man ever raised to the Catholii priesthood, was ordained by Cardina Gibbons in Baltimore. JOHN P. UtoHAKDSON, a millionaire o Chattanooga, Tenn., died Sunday, the victim ef the cigarette habit. UNITED STATES soldiers in Texas have bad two figh s with three times their num her of Mexican revolutionists, worsting them both times. THE first full car load of American tin over produced from an American tin mine has been received Ly W. W. Stewart, of San Deigo, Cai,, from ttui Temeccal mino I'hn shipment contiilcd of over 26,OOC pounds of tin. THE widow of Jefferson Davis has suet Robert Belford and Edward Lange for an accounting of sale of her husband's me- tnrois. OJHTUABY: At Springfield, III., Judge Alexander Fisher, aged twenty-six.—Al Now Brighton, II. 1., Rear Admira Thomas Pattison, U. S. N., aged sevcnty- thrco.-T-At Pooria, 111., Captain A, S. Cole aged eighty-seven. OiirruAHY: At Baltimore, General John R. Kenloy, aged 69. At Mount Pleasant, Ky., Rov. J. W. Moran, aged CO. At Philadelphia, Henry C. Gibson. At Mattoon, Mrs. Bridget McShano, nntbor of John C. McShano, of Chicngo. At Galona : III., Conrad Sohrnder, aged 74. FOREIGN. has been discovered in tho straits of Magellan. EMPKHOU WILLIAM has made Chancellor Von Cn.privi a Prussian count, NHA of u, serious type prevails in tho country of Westmoreland, England. Standard bank, at Melbourne, Aus tralia, with u capital of $5,000,000, HUB- pondod Friday. THE fishing boat Osproy was foundered in tho Tay. ilor crow of tiro men wore drowned^ COUNT GANDOLF KKUNIIUKO has accepted ithcat iu Prime Minister von Taafes cabinet in Vienna. THE French chamber of deputies Tues day without debate ratified tho Brussels anti-slavery convention. THE ravages of yellow fovor in Brazil iro growing heavier daily and all who are vble nro Heeing to tho mountains for lafety. A DISPATCH received jn Brussels sayi hat a priest and a thousand native Chritaiauu were lulled during tho Chineao riotn. IT is rumored in Berlin that Prince PurKtonburg and Count Donnersmark are jroviding funds with which to start a gre.i i> -iismnrk newspaper. A LONDON dispatch says lire Sunday in .ho drapery store at Battorsea resulted iu Jio death of two women and tho serious injury of two others. ON Saturday, at Vienna, a well-dressed Limn committed suicide with a revolver in St. Stephen's cathedral during.service. GKHMANY, Austria, Switzerland, Italy ind Greece have signified thoir willing icss to continue their present commercial reaty relations with Spain, AN uprising against the provincial fovornor occurs at Pernambuce, A ight ensues between the populace und government troeps, sixty men being killed or wounded. IT is officially announced that Zanzibar will bo a froo trade port, except HO far as ilcohpl and munitions of war are concern- id, after February next, THE steamship Abyssinia of tho Guion jino, is reported burned at sea. All her msHongbrs are said to have been saved. A UUOWDMU rtiry-boat capsized in the Slbo at 11 ..-. curgMonday hundreds of poo- )lo :• i i; thrown into the river. Ten of ii- passengers wore drowned and many ithorn had narrow escapes. FIRES AND CASUALTIES. JOHN CHATKLI.ON & SON'S scale factory in Cliff street, New York, was destroyed iy fire Wednesday morning. Loss, $115,00; fully insured. WILLIAM S. PAHSONS, an old an 1 well- mown market man, and August Boning, were both found dead at their respective residences in Philadelphia Monday uioru- ng, their deaths being caused by escaping {US. A PIKE Sunday destroyed nearly all tho ho buildings in the eastern half of 'ruekoe, Gal. A dozen nioii were injured nit none seriously. Tho loss is over $50,'00; insurance light. AT Rod Lake Falls, Minn,, Tuesday noriiing, O. B, Wells' coniectionory stoie mrned, u total loss. The stock was /alucd at $1,500, and was fully insured. i'iucMA TUHE explosion Monday night u the Last Chance mine in Idaho, result d in the death of Foreman Quackeubush .nd Patrick Quinn, a laborer. THE Week's Drug and Chemical com- iany's store and plant were destroyed by re Monday at Jackson, Mich. The Coronet Corset company occupied the econd Hoor of the building and lost their toek. The loss ia $18,000 and insurance 10,000. ORIMB. tobacco importations have s'ow York which may FUAUDS iu j»en discovered txt Ni ouch $10,000,000. ED FALLON was convicted in tho district oun itl Fargo, N. D., Thursday, of hooting Charles Kurmau with intent to cill. Fouu youug people of louia, Mich., agreed to commit, suicide, and three of the Dumber executed their agreement. THE New York Hetatd chafffet the librarian of coagreas with altering the date of thfi fijing for copyright of tli English edition : of the Encyclopecli Britannica. TRUE bills were found Monday by the grand jury against Mayor Wymar and ex- Mayor Pearton, of Allegheny, Pa., for embezzlement. Two indictment were returned by the S rand jury in New York Monday agaihsj dward M. Field for grand larceny. Fiele instill in jail and refuses to partake ol food. WILL HANKT, aged 28, son of Mrs Paul Wickrich, of Youngstown. was shot by RoseBolmer in a disreputable house six miles east of Hubbard, 0, ( Monday morning. Both were drunk. It is claimed the shooting was accidental. THK safe in the postoffiee at Petersboro, Pike county, Ind., was blown open With dynamite Sunday morning, stamps, and special request envelopes amounting to nearly $1,000 weie stolen. Tho burglars escaped. QEOIIOE MEAIIB, of Aurora, III., fired a revolver at his wife and dargerously wounded her employer and the latter's son, NICHOLAS Fox Friday morning shot his wife nt South Omaha and then cut his throat with a razor. Mrs. Fox will re cover, but her husband will die. Jealousy was the cause. AT Syracuse, N. Y., Supervisor Thomas J. Welch has been fined $50 and sentenced to the penitentiary for thirty days for con tempt of court. Welch is tho man who took the third ward returns to Albany, when he should have given them to the inspectors for correction. CON U UESSIONAJ... SATURDAY, DEO. 19. HOUSE—On motion of Mr. McMillin, of Tennessee, a concurrent resolution was agreed to providing for n holiday recess from Wednesday, 23d instant, until Tuesday, 5th proximo. Tho membership of the committee on ways and means was incrensed from thirteen to fifteen, on account of the large increase in the membership of the house. Tho committee on quadri-centennial had boon increased from nine to eleven, and a similar increase had been made in the committee on immigration.' Tho committee on Indian depredation claims had been abolished for the reason that at the last congress^ law had been pass' d submitting these claims to tho courts. Tho name of tho committee on commerce had been changed to tho committee on inter-stato and foreign committee. Mr. Springer, of Illinois, suggested that tho designation of tho quadri-centennial committee should bo changed to the committee on tho Columbian exposition. Mr. Enloe, of Tennessee, offered a resolution for the appointment of a special committee to inquire into the charges made against ^.he commissioner of pensions and tho administration of his office. Mr. Chipman, of Michigan, announced the death of his colleagup, Melbourne II. Ford, and in respect to tlie aiemory of the deceased the house adjourned until Wednesday, Dec. 23. TUESDAY, DHC. 22. SENATE.—The nomination of S. B. Elkins as secretary of war was confirmed. Memorials favoring tho building of a largo navy were presented, Mr. Felton was sworn in. Bills were introduced for the extension of the executive residence, ind for a sound circulating medium. AVINTJSIt, IN IIUSSIA. How KiiBSlaii Children lit the Ural Mountains I'a-H tho Winter. But every thing is very different when ,he terrible Russian frost sots in, anJ hill and valley alike become ono great sheet if white. Very bare and dreary do these tfreon, sunny slopes look in winter'months, with a few louflless trees standing gauntly up through tho drifts, and the fierce, cold wind howling down tho passes, driving ijreat sTiowers of snow along with it. No nioro light clothing, no more bare heads Ihon. Every one, whether a child or a jrpwn-up, is unified in great thick sheepskin frock reaching down on the feet, with a big collar turning up all round the : ace, till you can hardly see who it is. But the little Russians are not afraid of ,he cold, and have amusements in winter is well as in summer. When the sun is bright, and thero is no snow falling, they can go out upon tho hills with their sleds —for they have sleds there, of course, ind those little mountain-people are quite is fond of them, and as clever in nianag- ng them, as any children in the world. Famou* sliding do they have down these yreat supes, and fine rosy faces do they vin by it, aud wonderful appetites do they carry home with them to their suppers of )rown bred and ktisha (buckwheat por- 1 ridge mixed with butter), after tiio fun is OLD BURIED CITIES, Interesting Facts Concerning: a Civilization Older Than That of Ancient History. Temples and Idols of a Prehistoric Race Fonrul on the Island of Nicaragua. A Conntry Kich in Relics of Lost Arts and of Forgotten Religions, And in tho stormy evenings, when the frim northeast wind comes howling over ho wild, lonely mountains, bringing with t all tho cold of the frozen wastes of Siberia,jjwhen the great, flakes are falling o thick and faat that no one can see an ,nch beyond the window, and far up irnong the hills you can hear at times the irash of a tree breaking down under tho weight of the snow,—then is the time for lie little folks to cuddle around the warm itove, and to roast chestnuts in the embers ind for the older boys to make baskets or wistropesj and for the bigger girl to plait tnvw mats. And then their old grand- uother, sitting at her spinning, on a stool n the warmest conifer, with a red hand- cerchiefaround her dark, wrinkled old face which looks just like an oak-carving, will ell them some quaint old fairy tale or ome story out of Russian history—per- laps about Ivan Veliki, who beat the Mars, or Peter the Great, who built St. 'elorsburg, or tho brave mou who burned heir great city of Moscow to drive 'away Napoleon. Sometimes tho children take their turn, ind sing a funny little song about the 'White geese," as they call the snowHakes: Daddy, diuldy winter, Lei your whltu geese fly; Semi the \vhul to drive them AU across the ukyl Demi the tossing pine-trees, Make the ham eurtti split— Sung around the fireside We don't fear a bit! And I don't suppose they do; for in spite if their wild country and their rough Innate, these little Russians are a very merry race indeed.—David Ker, in St. Nicholas for November. Weary clerk (after cutting off twenty- vb samples of dross goods)—"Is that all, madam? Miss Grabbe—"Urn—I would like one more sample. My mother is so particular. Cut me off u sample from that roll under your hand." Little sister (loudly)—-'Why, Moll, that won't do at all. Mother said she wasn't goin? to have any blue in that crazy quilt 'cause 1 .; way; fades." The ruined cities of ancient Mexico, the mysterious templep of Yucatan, and the weird idols of Honduras have become familiar to all through the newspapers, magazines, and bulky volumes rich in illustration; but very few have ever learned that Nicaragua is one of of the richest tiulds in the world for the antiquarian to toil in. While more interested personally in the geology, the flora and fauna of. the oouu- try, it was impossible to ignore or fail to become acquainted with the relics of forgotten races. It is difficult to deliberately hunt up the localities where ruined temples and huge idols are buried under the tropical vegetation, as the inhabitants will giro no md whatever. The mestizos, or half Indian half Spanish race, know nothing and care nothing about such things; and the Indian, partly from diffi- uenco and partly from awe, hesitates long before leading one to the sacrtd grounds o_f his Hncostors, or repeating the traditions thathuvo been handed down to him. There exists only the crude and brutal chronicles of the ignoraat Spanish soldiery at the time of tho conquest, or the bigoted accounts of the unenlightened priests who accompanied Gonzalez d' Avild and others of his stamp. Corlez merely makes the memoranda that it took 100 men a day to throw the idols of the town into the ocean. The brutish priests burned all records that fell into their hands on the ground that all those that differed from their teachings were obnoxious, and those agreeing superfluous. The preservation of any records at all is due to thy patience of the original native sculptor, vho work- ad only on tho hardest stone; and to the luxuriance of the vagetation, which concealed his efforts from the iconoclasts. For the benefU of future traveler?, T will give a list of some o_f the principal and most ncce<eil>!o localities. The islands of Lake Nicaragua are riph in' idols and pottery, especially the southwest aid/- of iho slopes of that most picturesque of volcanoes, Omotope. This island waa evidently the general cemetery for all the region around, who worshiped the flaming cone as the god of fin?. Burial urns of all shapes and sizes, still containing the ashes and skull bones of the dead, are common, the most common being the shoe shaped variety, of terra cotta ware, with scarleb snakes painted around the toes. A few of these, two feet long by fifteen inches high, are to-day in use as water jars, At the north end of the lake, in sight of Granada, the forests covering the side of the volcano Momobacho conceal not only idols but ruins of ancient cities; while the islands of Zapatfiro and Pensacolo, close by, repeat the story of Omotepel At the old Indian village of Masay i, the next station .on the government railroad west of Granada, there are curious paiufc- ings .in the ravines, and especially at the sepulcher cut in the face of the precipice, on the path to the lake, called El Bano. The carvings represents'men, monkeys, cows, snakes and leopards. On tho east side of the great lake extensive ruined cities are half hid in the forests near the towns of Juigalpaaud Libertad; and on the Bluefield River over the range to the northeast are the pictured cliffs. The volcano, Momotombo, on Lake Managua, and its bab'j companion, the cone islands Momotombita, are rich storehouses for the antiquarian. Tha liike filling the old charter of Nijapa and affording a fine bathing place for the nobility.of the capital, Managua, is famous for the painting of its pricipitous walls. Near the old capital, Leon, maybe seen the alter-niche in a large rock known as the Capilla do ia Piedra, or "stone chapel." . A few leagues farther oil, at the Indian village ot Subtiava, is stone mound, 200 by 60 feet, and ten feet high where human beings were sacrificed. Far away from _all the usual lines of travel, iu the province of Segovia, are numerous ruined cities as rich in carvings as famous Copan, but rarely visited by white men. The antiquities of Nicaragua may bj Classified as ruined cities, sacrificial mounds, figures cut or. painted,on the face of cliffs, idols, s_tone implemnts, pottery and metallic articles. In Nicaragua the statutes of their gods wero generally placed at the foot of their pyramids; while the natives further north placed theirs at the summit or in temples. While hieroglyphics are common on idols, walls, and pottery, yet the patient ie- searches of our archaeologist have recovered but little of tho manners and habits of these aborigines. We wonder at the strange characters on their pottery, as the New Zealander of the millennium will wonder at our cups and saucers bnaring the mottoes: "Love the giver," Waste not, want not," etc. In working on the symbols cut in the stone in Central America, there is no llosetta stone to act at once as key and criterion. No rude savage carved the idols or painted the bowls, and if we could discover what he ruent his labor and his wisdom would not have been in vain. The art of those days of long ago was superior to all efforts of the descendants of the race. There are columns of carvad stone that are parallels of the obelisks of Egypt, and the paintings upon some of the walls reveal a state of art as high as that! of Egypt,and the sculpture of the southern isles iu even superior to that of Chpnules farther north. Who inhabited the isl ,nis of Like Nicaragua? In the words of ih-i Spaniards,"Quien sabe," who knows! The earliest inhabitants were the Nahauls, an Aztec race that preserved the same language and practiced the same religious rites as the Aztec race 2,000 miles n >rth of them; and wholly different from all the races between. How they came there, so far from the home plateaus of Anahuao, no one can tell whether it was au accidental or intentional colonization of the country. While the Caribs, Mosquito, and Wool- wa Indians, in civilization, were far below the Quiches and KachiqueU, of tho regions further nortn, who were proud of their progress in science and art, and proud of their kings with unpronOunde- able * like the famous IxMlrfchife, yet they control today the Jafglr portion of Nicaragua. Their deacendinra are everywhere, while the last of the Nahuls, the superior of all, are found in only two villages. The Indians of today have, of course been modified by three centuries of contact with the whites and an equally long tried subjection to the Spaniards. They bear everywhere, the stealthy look which long centuries of oppression have stamped indelibly in their eyes; yet in Masa'ya they have retained to a surprising degree their primitive custom's, and keep their aboriginal blood remarkably pure. So pure that I _ am confident that if the whites and mestizos were removed the Indians would begin human sacria^s again. In spite of the numerous assortments of ugly saints offered _ by the priests the old gods come in still for more than their share of attention in time of trouble. The broken idol that stands at the corner of the plaza at Granada to-day, known as the Piedra de la Boca, or the stone with the mouth, always has its mouth stuffed with flowers whenever a revolution is pending; and during earthquakes people have been caught worshiping it. Yet the priests are too lazy, indifferent, or timid to remove the stone. Animals were worshiped here as well as along the banks of tho Nile, and the alligator is a frequent ornament to their pottery. One of the sandstone idols found on the island of Pensacola represents an alligator swallowing a man. The ancient pottery from the islands 'already mentioned is far superior in quality to that made by the natives to-day. The bowls are made of yellow clay, and are covered with a thick glaze,^ on which are red and brown-black paintings of appropriate mottoes, odd figures, twisted forms, and curious arrangements of dots and lines. In the terra cotta burial urns were placed first the ashes of the dead, then beads of lava, basalt, or chalcedony, next celts and flakes of flint, and in the mouth were laid basins of black earthenware. The beads taken from the urns are delicate works of art. About one inch long, no greater diameter than twine.yet pierce:! for threading, and ringed all over, the question comes, how did they make them? They possessed no metals except gold and a little copper. It is another lost art. How did they come to practice cremation and use burial urns ? Was it suggested by> their practice of of- feringhu -nan sacrifices by fire in their worship of the rising sun ? As late as the time of Gonzales d'Avila, 1525, the great sacrificial mound still stood at the city of Rivas. _ Here sacrifices wero made at the beginning of winter and summer, generally using children from 6 to 12 years of age, tearing out the quivering heart and sprinkling the blood to the four paints of tho compass. Prisoners were sacrificed, as a matter of course, to celebrate the victory. It ia to be expected, therefore, I hat many of their paintings are repulsive, as the principal history they had to record waa that of war and bloodshed. At Nija- pa, that dread pool of mystery and horror, an ideal pool of artistic beauty, of cheering sunshine, of flowers and feme, of cryital waters turned by superstition into a bloody inferno; the crimson stains on the cliff were painted by terror to commemor- aie murder. For ages the winged serpent, protected from fading by the foliage, has Ishone in crimson red upon the waters that fill the crater of the old volcano Below, and on every hand the sy oabol, in red, of the bloody hand. Long ages ago that spot was filled with the fury of volcanic fires, then it filled with crystal waters, only to become a scene of torture aud deatti to the victims of superstition. Today it is thenatatoriuinot the elite, the 400 of Managua, tha capital of the republic whose modern houses ouly half conceal the remains of the still more ancient civilization. At the foot of these cliffs ages ago children shrank in terror from the stroke of the^acrificial knife, here to-day t>l ick-eyed maidens, hampered by neither modestynor rainment, splash in the crystal water and mock the Americano who stares up at the paintings on the cliff*?. The barbaric beauty of the scene, the innocence of the brown-skinnnd bathers, all is such a contrast with the civilization of to-dp.y that it seems like a dream, not a reality. To look at somethings in Nicaragua is to go back in the history of civilization two hundred years; but yet that is but as an hour ago to the history of the natives whose idols are buried in the tropical jungles of a people who call themselves a republic. G. E. BAILEY, ODDITIES. Paradoxical—A man always feels put out when he is taken in. A good caterer climbs the ladder of fame by rounds of tender steak. Many people who never saw a fire es cape have seen one break out. A man's declining years begin afc fifty; a woman's begins from fifteen to eighteen. They call them cobble stones, Freddy, because they are so hard on vour shoe- leather, "Johnny, vou go out and shoe that horse out' of the garden." "Well/I ain't no horse shoer." Don't fool with a wasp because you think he looks weak and tired; you'll find he s all right in the end. Mr. Gazzam— "Your home is of the Ionic order, isn't it?" Mrs. Fangle—"No indeed; we don't owe a cent on it." Philosophers have noticed that when a man makes up his mind that he has to practice economy, he generally tvies to begin with his wife's expenses. "Dick Skinner says marriage is a failure." "A failure? I thought he married a fortunu?" "Yes; but the girl that went with it has suspended payment." Stranger—"Madam, I am a literary man." She—(whose husband is an author)— "Sorry, but I haven'tSany change about me." A debating sDciety is discussing the question as to which is the angrier—the husband who goes home and finds that dinner is not ready, or the wife who has dinner ready, and whose husband does not come home. It is not the coming man uut the going man who gets there. A great deal of what we cal! American ''tin" ia squandered in Europe by tourists. "Yes, sir," said the tanner to the hide dealer, "I believe in free hides, and I want em free from grubs, too." Every man who does not labor and lay up a fortune mty cause absolute suffering ta his daughter's future husband. A Modest Gtnius—Idler—"I suppose, like the majority of your class, yon dfbjr, •% " muO poverty UUviHOiviimyr i ^ Net^aper Man—"No, sir, not. 1 •may rise into poafery occasionally. / *> . She—"You were in his class wife v you? I hear he passed his examination « , with great honor. Was it oral or wru- teh?" . - .. He—"Well, to be exact,, it was copied. Dude—"Theah is a great deal of wade- ness in the wohld. Yestahday a fellah „. my mind. He simply thou ght I could spare it." "Can you do anything with my accottnt to-day, sir?" asked a collector. "I'd likd to pay it," replied Gazzam, "but the fact is I haven't any gold coin, and the doctors declare that notes carry microbes about. One can't bs to careful you knOWt. and under the circumstances I woulin t pay jou with notes for all the world." "Papa, I wish yott would] buy toe a little pony," said Johnny. "I haven't got aty money to buy yoti » pony, my son. You should go to school regularly, my son, study hard, and become a smart man, and some of these days, when you grow up, you wil^ have money of your own to buy ponies with." "Then I suppose, pa, you didn't study much when you were a little boy like me, or else you would have had money no i to buy ponies with, wouldn't you, pa?' GR-3AT YOUNG MEN. Eminent Men Who Entered Upon Life's Duties at an Early Age. Charles James Fox was in parliament at 19. The great Cromwell left the university at Cambridge at 18. John Bright was never at any school a day after he waa 15 years old. Gladstone was in parliament at 22, and at 24 was lord of the treasury. Lord Bacon graduated at Cambridge ai 16, and was called to the bar at 21. Peel was in parliament at 21, and Palmerston was lord of the admiralty at 23. Henry Clay was in the senate of the United States, contrary to the constitution, at 29. Judge Story was at Harvard at 15, in congress at 20 and judge of the supreme court of the United States at 32. Martin Luther had become largely distinguished at 24, and at 56 had reachtd the topmost round of his : world wide fame. Washington was a distinguished colonel in the army at 22, early in public affairs, commander of the forcas at 42, president at 57. -- • • Webster was in college at 15, gave evidence of his grout future before he was 25 and at 30 he was the peer of the ablest man in congress. • Maurice of Saxony died at 32, conceded to have been one of the profoundest statesmen and one of the best generals Christendom has ever seen. Napoleon at 25 commanded the army of Italy. At 30 he was not only one of the most illustrious generals of the time, but one of the great law-givers of the world. At 46 he saw Waterloo. The great Louis X. wag pope at 38. Having finished his academic training he took the office of cardinal at 18 — only twelve months younger than was Charles James Fox when he entered congress. William Pitt entered tno ministry at 14, was chancellor of the exchequer at 22, prime minister at 24, and so continued:for twenty years, and when 35 was the iriost' powerful uncrowned head in Europe.— Young Men's Era. MANLT INDEPENDENCE. Didn't Know His Wife's Middle Name and Wouldn't Ask It: ' Exchange. An attorney tells of a little experience he lately had with an odd character from the rural districts. It seems that the granger went to the lawyer's office for the purpose of getting a deed made out for some swamp land he was "-selling. The listener of woes heard the olcl man's're- quest and then picking up pen and paper, he proceeded to jot down the particulars of the deal. "Your name?" from the attorney. "Phillip Ward," from the farmer. "What's your wife's name?" " "Eliza A. Ward." "Eliza A. What does A stand for?" "I don't know—never asked her," replied Mr. Ward, unconcernedly. "Don't know your wife's middle name, and you an old man and married to her for a good many years, a« V»M »ay? Why, this is rich. What's tho roasonij-ou never asked her what her midd > maun was ?" "Well, see here, youna- 'eliow." returned the uninquisitive Waul, "I'm a pretty independent cuas—alms havj been and allus intend to be—and the fact if, I'm too independent to ask her." NO AVOCATION. ' Experience of a Young I.nwynr on Apply. ing for a larcncc. Here is a portion of tue examination to which an old lawyer told me he was subjected when he applied for a licence The oldest member of the examining' committee interrogated him: "Are you familiar with any games of chance?" "No, sir." t " DoJn l you know now to P Ia y any game of cards? "No, sir." "Surely you understand euchre?" "Never heard of it before." ' " , "It can't be possible you never indulged in a game of draw poker ?" . ,, " Y , es ' 8 , ir . it can. .1 am a member of another'" ^^ k " OW ° Q6 Card f " > * "Well, (after a long pause of astonishment), young man, we'Jl give you a license, but how in the world you're eoine to make a living tot the Br*t two or threl V63TS H.rrH*' VAU ofo«t *-,».» »j-.«! 'TOT i* Come Baok,* Charley, Here is an advertisement that appeared ..o agon y colut nn of the London Times- Come back Charley; all h explained,' aear; the house is. sad without you and your boots brigthly polished, are standing in the hall, washing their sweetness on the desert air." • Another is a little more practical. To Mary: Comeback! AH is forgiven,- or, if you will not return, do send u» the key of the tea-caddy." Couldn't flaze the I.eddy. Housekeeper: "How long did you remain in your last place?" *««*«»• Applicant: "Sure, I left in wan day. There was no plum' the leddy, at all, at "Whimsical, was she?" "Indade she-was t' at. The first; nitrht Bhe complained because I boiled the tly an th very next morning she complained became I did not boil the coffee Thin I JAi-frai^ c.t ..^j '; .Aka3lafljJwi v J-A liiu ,jUkiL^x''w..f(.

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