The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on December 2, 1891 · Page 6
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, December 2, 1891
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THE OFFER DES MOINE8, ALGOMA. IOWA. WEt>NESt)A Y. DECEMBER 2,1891. A f>n<11i I), lnllfthy, my huh)-. Thf tioc Inm a-onrt to Tho dfiiv Is on I IK; olovi-i- im<l pr>iu-o lit on Uio deep, whtlomother «ln(rsnhnvnIlioo n IIUlo slumber ftmip. And pw.VB lienentl) her Mniriiifr, f]n<! save my l fthe from vernng. (i, Hk'pp, thy hiih.v, nloep, Itnlty. y of O, liiilnby, my liniul Tollffhl Uio wi thy boil To ki<np tlinlr niitoh nliuvc iinlll I ho triornliiv Tito Mars Millie Mho COIIK< nhoiit , .And from (he (Iconmn (hoy hrntifrlit lilin my lllt.lo (lnrlliiK waters, 0, cli'cp. my hnlij', nlerp. Inkn (linn this (rood- diulliiir, ivlin; Invo a O, liiilnby, rm- Imliy; nlfrht, if IB*. And niriy It, Ml tnoMioi'fl IH. Ink" (lion this MRS lo ill-nun of iho whllo 1 hroiithn a prnynr Tlml Qod WhoKIIVO Hlmll lin\-« Line forever In 1118 Clll-0. 0, nlnnp, my hnhv. ileep, — Voulh'f Co DM AITE C1IAREKON. Thay all thought hu was u fool; but then they ofli'ii make mistakes like that, Kangaroos can't jump like women when the woman urn jumping Bt conclusions. You son t.hn trouble wns thai Collls Bi'iiUlo—-Collie thoy eallci.l him wlion they wanted to h'o funny—did not. Imvo'mnoh to any. Ho Used to lid about the. hotel veranda in a big stoumor oliulr mid read novulH. Ho wore a yiiohllngsiill und cap and a Bilk shirt, 'llo did not look a hit salt, because tho Hktn of lil.s face wan HH white mid an Hinooth as a baby's. So they laughed ut him for wearing a yachting'null. All tho other lei/own woro Ilium because it was a yachting port upon I ho Hound, and pretty much every o'nn wont in for Hailing, which wan about all llioro was to do at the place. Colllo wont sailing onco or twice when Homo generous follow look plly on him and invited him. Then the wptiiun langhod at him more, and In strange Gorman called him Dor Alto Clmporon—lliu Old Chriporon—bocauso las alwayH wont down in tho cabin, strolohcd hiniHolf on a lockur, and foil •sloop. Thuy said ho was afraid the fljH'ay would Hpoil his complexion. Colllo didn't seem to know that ho WUH being laughed at.. If hu did know il ho did not mind it;. Ilo never said anything, but wont on nmdlng novels. German'novolH, too; find hi: road them In tho original. It was moot exasperating. What business had a man at u pny, iiollvo Hummer resort to wear nautical toggery, liavo a skin like n queen's Imby.nnd road Gorman novels? Once Homo one suid to him: "Come and play a gumoof billiards." "Thank you," he replied; "it's a little loo much for mo, you know." Ho certainly was a fool—anil a lazy one, too. Thoy tried him on severnl thingN, but he lay in the steamer ohalr nirl road German. And thero were at leant H!X beautiful girls in tho hotel. And every one of thorn had boon piqued Into trying to interest, him. But ho just Htald in the sloumor chair and road Gorman, or wont to sloop in tho cabin of tho yacht. Ho didn't got seasick. Thoy re- iiioiiibored that, after ho w«a gono, as ouo of his good qualities. They had him out-one day when it blew fresh and there was a lively sea on, but he wont to sloop like a rooked infant. Ho certainly was tho most torpid man that over lived. "Never mind," said Mrs. Bisbeo ono morning, "Miss Silvers is coming hero next wobk. Perhaps she'll wake him Capo May. iTou cnii'l help iifdng her." ••Oh." yc-9. I can, and I will." decided Ethel ni they rose lo go down to I he water. Thft dny before this paragon of heiresses wns expected Phil Partridge in^ Vlted all hands in go .milling on his sloop. And I hen IK- got a i<;le<rram which compelled him to go lo I.'its citv. Hut he in*i-<led on their going sailing JIHI tint .sumo. His sailing ni:i<<ii>7 would lake llifiii. and limy could invite Di-r Alle (/h:ni('foii lo'^o along a.s his suliMiiiiiic. Thai inado tlntin laugh t But ilir) giil CnlliH mil of Ins Mti'itiihT chair and look him alnn^ ju.it ilin.sainn. Of coiirsi!. he wc.nt right down into the cabin and pn.-pareil to go lo sloop. "Bless my soul!" exclaimed Mrs. Blsbee, "that's a liltli- loo bad. Th<only man in the parly. J wouldn't, stand it. girls," "Man! isxclaimod Klhol. "Call that pudding-faced gelalino a man! Lord forgive 111." "Oh. I say, Ethol," rotnoiiHtrated Gorlie, "you ought not to talk like Ihat." "Don't say 'ought' lo mo. I'm tirod of doing what I ought to dn." EtholwfH 20 and hor skin was growing yellow under her eyes. "Go down inlo the cabin and keep Dcr Alto Chaperon awake." suggested 8ybi4. "Do It yourself." "Not, such a bad Idea," said Sybil, slipping down the companion way.' Collio Bi'iittle was not asleep ye I. Hn sat up and si. a rod as the tall, vvi'iito girl 118 Kill) CIIIIIC lllllfHV, "Awfully tfiiitil nl you, you know," hn muL-inuri'iL "Oh, it's not so very gooit; but what do you mean! 1 '' "I moan your enining down here ,o lump mo awake." Sybil turned just a trllie pink under the oars. Had lie boon listenlng'iii their conversation on deekP It must have ediilod him, she thought. "I ciimo down to keep myself awake," she said, hastily, and 'then added, inconsisiontlv: "Why don't you go on dock and enjoy tho b'rooaoP" "Boeiiu.se I can't onjoy the brooae," ho answered. "it's too strong for yiiu, I eupposo," said Sybil, with a touch of scorn. "Yes, much too strong." "Makes you chilly.!' "Yos, makes me chilly." "Might spoil your complexion." "My wliatP" "Your complexion." "Didn't know I had any." "You're as while ami pink as a baby." "That's true, but I don't think that's much of a complexion for a man, you know." "Neither do 1. 1 should think you'd got a little sunburn on you just from shame." , Collie laughed. Ho seemed to be immensely amused. Ho had a funny way of being amused at tilings thai didn t amuse other people, ft was jolly for him, but it made tho other people angry. slacked the JID tiaiyurns. urmont tne sheet, .«lid out on the bowsprit which wns plunging into the youni' seas like a eruxy porpoise, reefed the" jib. came back. Imnt on tho sheet, and hoisted away again, while the women huddled in the cockpit like petrified mummies, "Now let her blow," said Collie as he went it ft. put on his coat, and took the wheel. "Get the captain below," said he to the boy, "nnd give him a "rood horn of brandy. He's coming to." The boy dragged the skipper downstairs, tho women all following: in silence to see if they could do anything. Sybil Vane a<kcd I ho boy. when they wore below, whether he hadn't better go up and sail the yacht. "Guess not," said the boy. "That feller don't need no help. I can see thai without a leloliseup." The boy's jndgmont'nppoarod to bo right. It was blowing great gun«. Btit the Clover was riding like a cun- vnsback duck. Collio looked very composed at the wheel. Tho girls stared up the companion-way at him. Ho up." "You don't moan Mallio Silvers, do youP" oxolalmed Gurtio Greer. "Yos, i do." "Oh, dear!" Ami Gertie's mouth wont down at the corners. "Whal's tho mutter with Matlio Silvers?'' inquired Kthel Brisket. "Oh, nothing," answered Gerlio, do- Jocloilly; "only I was at, a place woro BUO was oiieo." "Well, what of itP" doniandod Sybil Vane, that lull, wlnlo girl, you remember. "Well," sighed Gorlie, "every man in the house dropped right down at her foot." "Oh, my! is she so very wonderful?" askeii lOihel. "Oh, nothing much," replied Gerlio; "just the most bountiful woman I ever Haw, and with two little millions in her own right." Thoro was a painful silence, and all tho young women looked glum. Gertie was not a girl to be snee/.ed nt, and she used her mirror, llnr dejection was ominous. Tho girls gazed anxiously at Mrs. Bisbee. "I don't want lo be disagreeable," •ho said, smoothly, -but I'm afraid it's true," "What's hor stylo?" asked Kvbil. ".Brown," replied Mrs. Bisibuu.seiilon- tiously. "IJrown?" "Yen; burnt sienna. Burnt sienna hair and oyus. duskv-pink oheuks, dusky-crimson lips, .silk-plush complexion—all oroam and ooax—and two adllions from her uiieU-," said Harold Beavor, who had just come up. Thoro was a gonorul biting of lips. "Haven't soon her for throo years," he continued, "and " "All! Perhaps she has faded!" ex- olaimed Kthcl. "Tho dusky browns don't fade much," said Harold. "No, 1 ' said Mrs. Bisbon, "1 saw her in a box ut the Molropnliian last win- tor, amd she was radiiiin." "Why, she doesn't belong in Now York," Sybil said. "No, Baltimore," responded Harold. "I don't sue vhat she wants to come away up hero for," grumbled Ethol spitefully. "What's tho mailer with Chesapeake buy?" "Well,she's coming nexl week," said Mrs. Bisbee, moving away with Harold. I hud a letter from her mother todav." "I hope she'll like him," said Kihol, looking scornfully at Collio in his ateamer chair. "That will uol do any good, "answered Gortio; "tho oilier men will all like her." "Of course," said Sybil; "we're not worlh two millions, any of us." "And wu'ru not dusky-browns," snapped Ethel, caressing a stray ruvou look; '"ull oreuui and coax.' liumph!" ".But she's u lovely girl," sighed Gertie, "or she was two yours ago. I huviiu't met hor siuoo Uiou. I wus ut "If you're going to laugh at my conversation Pin going buck to the—tho girls, exclaimed Sybil, springing up the stops. -ooi Collio laughed some more. Then ho stretched himself on tho cabin looker and laughed again. Noxl ho closed us eyes und smiled. A minute Inter ho was sound asleep. All tho women ciimo down und looked at him half an hour later. Ho didn't seem much to look at. Hu had deep linos under his eyes when ho slept, and u worn up- poiiranco. Yet they ull looked at him and despised him. Ho just slept on und didn't mind it. _ "Vulnublo person to huvo on u yachting excursion, isn't .hoP" whispered Mhol, with u genuine trrowl in her pretty voice. "If 1 | m d~ u thing like that font husband I'd—but I'd novor have ouo." "Lot's go on dook. I do boliovo it's fallen dead calm," said Mrs. Bisboo tin it Imd. Tim Clover's must was plump perpondioulur. . So woro hor mainsail and hor jib. The water looked ike molasses. And it was soolhiii"- hot. Tho skipper said there wusgoinlv 10 bo u squall and sent tho ouo sailor u boy, aloft lo furl the topsuil. Thu skipper was right. Thoro wus "-oin->- to be u squall, liig blue-black o7ouds woro piling up in tho northwosl. Lightning played uronnd thoir lower edges. Tho skipper said it would not. beusqnall. Tho Clover would stand it under jib and miiinsail. It came along in a few minutes. Yon could see it strike tho water ovor near ilm Connecticut shore. It made the sur- Ineo six shades darker. Tho girls hud their rubber goods on, but the skinpnr suid it would not. rain. However, they hud heard skippers say that before. Iho squall came bounding over tho sound. Thou, they never know .how it happened, but the boom gave u torrilio jump right across tho yuchl. It hit tho skipper ou tho lioml and knocked him senseless. Tho next moment; ho wus lulf-wuy ovor iho loo rail with seven shrieking wownon pulling ut him. Tho yacht was pretty nearly "on her bourn onds.uiid tho sailor boy wus purulvzod. Then Collie Btmllio walked up o'ltt of tho cabin rubbing his oyos. . "Did some one seroumP" ho asked. "Oh. look at that useless thin"-!" cried Ethol, tug-ing at the log of Uio skipper's trousers. Whereupon Collio woke up. lie. brushed tho women aside like so seemed to be enjoying it. The captain recovered his senses presently und hurried on deck. "Go below and llo down, cuptuin," suid Collio, "your head must bo rattling like a locker of shot lira gale." Tho captain looked Mil-prised^ "Who roofed tho jib?" he asked. "I did," said Collip, humoring her neatly with tho holm. Tho captain watched him do it. Then he wont below and stretched himself on Collie's favorite locker. "That man's the best umutour sailor I evof saw." he said. Tho women looked at ono another and heaved long sighs of relief. "That useless thing appears to be some good after ull," suid Mrs. Bisbee to Ethel. "HumP said Ethel. Collio sailed Hie Clover buck to her anchorage off the hotel after the squall. They all wenl ashore, and he immediately retired to his room und wus seen no more until tho next day. About noon ho wus discovered in Iho slcnmor- ehuir with uu unusually formidable German novel. They surrounded him nnd began to lhank him for bringing them in sufoly. Ho didn't seem to pay much attention to ihom. Just kept lisloning for something down tho road. Presently the hotel stage came rat- tlTng up from the station. "Hero she is" said Mrs. Bisbeo, beckoning the girls. And they ull deserted thoir preserver to soo tho bountiful heiress. She wus beautiful. Thoro was no mistaking that. Tho girls groaned inwardly. She came airily lip the stops, her brown eyes allurno with expectation. She caught sight of Dor Alto Chaperon lying inliis steamer chair. She run right to him, throw both arms around his neck, und publicly kissed him ou Iho lips. "Collio, dour!" sho suid passionately. "But, dour old follow, you look real done up, and I expected to liud you so much bettor." Better? Ho must have been sick thoiiiAyhon ho cnmo down. "Wf.ll, sweetheart," ho replied laughing, "I huvo been mending slowly but surely till yesterday, when I hud to do a little work aboard u bout and " "Aboard u bout! Now dear, you know tho doctor said you woro not to sail a MTSStNTt LINKS. Jules Verne is the author of twenty- four novels. Mttrmultidf; for hreakfngi is a fud of English importation. Gl'io from whale refuse is a new article of commerce in Russia. Ai Frankfort. Germany, 500 horsepower is transmitted bv electricilr to a distance of 140 miles." According to Chiiutieoy M. Depow, mure than a million dollars is spent in Now York annually for public ban- q u els. Corporal Tanner is said to have mail' $107.000 since leaving the pension bureau in foes out of pension cases he II.-H handled. Tsheng-Ki-Ton-r. I he Chinese general, has published in French a book that is said to be an imitation of the modern French novel. Robert G. Ingersoll denies that he made tho prediction attributed to him that about this lime two theaters would be built to one church. During l.io lust academical voar at Cambridge 1.024 students matriculated and 1.646 degrees were conferred, both being the largest nbcrs on record. Von Moltko. on his ninetieth birthday, was asked how young he would like to be. "About 80" answered he, the vision of youth rising to his mind's eye. Tho submarine war bout bus led to the living of balloons from war ships. A balloon hovering over a ship can detect every movement of a submarine bout coming to the attack. The city gas works of Berlin brought $1.750.000 clear profit into tho treasury during tho last financial year despite many llii>s and pulled the skipper into thu cockpit. Then hu lul go the jib- shoet and pit. Then hu lul go the iho yuuhl righted partly. " "Horn, my lad," hu called lo t,liu boy, "tuku I MI wheel." The boy obovod. nnd Collie pullud oil' his coiil, Thoro wus u red spot in each of his chunks. "\Vhut is he going lo do?" inquired Gertie, uwustruck. "Lord knows I'm glad to sou him do anything," said Kthul. "Hard down with your holm!" exclaimed Dor Alte Chaperon. "Mrs. Bisboo, you and Miss Sybil please hold Iho wheel there a minute. Now, lad, ;nain sheet; in with it!" Collio and the boy -rot the main boom trimmed tint us Ihu yacht came up into lliu wind. Thu jib tlappcd madly. ;;U'ight your holm!" cried Collio. Thu boy obeyed Ihe order. "Keep your hytid to it," wus his uoxt ordur. Thou Collio suruiijr forward uud tuau vou "But wo got"caught in a squull and Iho captain—well, perhaps these voun<> ladies will explain. Lot mo introduce you all to my lianooo." And then tho whole crow of thorn ligurulively got right down on thoir kuoos and worshiped Dor Allo Chaperon. Il isn't much of a story, is itP But then it has u moral. Two, may bo.— IK. J. JJewlarson, in N. Y, Times. Sensible Minister ana leather. Not long since a Presbyterian minister wus asked how it happened that his boys woro not as bud as preachers' boys arc expected to be. "It Is because thoy huvo grown up like other boys," ho replied. "I verv well remember how cold und cheerless our homo was on Sabbath. It was Hie dullest, dreariest, and most dreaded day of the week. At tho preacher's homo il was supposed to bo Sabbath every day, "Whoii I entered tho ministry I resolved to livo like n human, und to raise my family just us oilier good bundles are raised. Instead of compelling my boys to road I he Book ol Martyrs, Baxter's Saint's Rest, und the Catechism on Subhulh to iho exclusion of everything olso, 1 allowed them la read anything that was proper for thorn to read ou other day's. 'I oven wont so far as to buy Sun'daj' papers, because I would rather huvo thorn road in thu house than down behind the brewery or in tho coal-shad. H was even bolter to allow thorn to read than to MI at Iho window watching others reading. The usual Sabbath lessons wore never neglect oil, and 1 am satisfied they worn wore enjoyed more and bolter appreciated by having removed troni them the souse of compulsion. 1 spared no effort to niuko Mm Sabbath tho brightust uud ol tho week, and homo lo any other piueo o'u that day. Iheir mother usually managed to have a particularly good ,. dinner, and w« didn't object to a friend or two onjoy. mg it with \\s."—l'itl:.t,tir,i (incite. i'u r a if a u y. ~ Paraguay has for years been the black sheep among tho South American republics. According to Mr. Pukou- hum, thi) British minister lo Iho Argon- tine Republic, Paraguay is now taking an upward course. llo says iho country is gelling its share of liio im- migruliou from Europe; thai uow hotels uro being opened, not only in Asuncion, bul also in smaller towns; that railways arc extending, ouo of which will go almost directly oust ID Kuropo. und that about $40.000,000 British capital is uow invested in lliu country, and many British families have taken up thoir residence there. 1-1 o thinks the worst days of Paraguay's history are over. American There uro 7,000 United States. . tho unusually heavy expenditures "for new gas house and conductors. A Connecticut boy is famous just now because he has u tin- whistle ono and a hull' inches in diameter' and S'.'vorul inches long in his stomach. He swallowed the toy while playing on it. There arc few such common-sense proverbs ns "every man is the architect of his own fortune." Appius Claudius, a Roman censor, used it in a spoeeh delivered by him -150 years bo- fore the Christian era. Birds are the only animals besides man which can be laugh L distinctly to urlicululo and utter sentences, which, though of course not understood by the birds themselves, are none the less surprising to listen to. Il is an old remedy for the hiccough to hold one's breath,' and if that falls llientogurglewit.hu little water and if the hiccough still continues to tickle the nose to iho point of snee/.in<r once or twice, when tho hiccough is sure to go. The Panama Canal works are wrecked; even truces of tho excavations uro vanishing and the constructive machinery is worthless. This enterprise, in which $400,000,000 lias been sunk will tiirure as the monumental failure of tho ago. In the discussion lately carried ou in Europe as to the distance ut which large objects on tho earth's surface are visible, it wus stated that the Himalaya Mountains have appeared to view from the groat distance of 224 miles, and Mont Blanc 210 miles. to trouble, on one occasion ne lished a few satirical verses upon a certain poetess, who in rerenge watched for him in the street and stabbed him with a poniard. The wound luckily was not dangerous, and the only revenge the satirist took was to suspend the dagger in the study, with the following inscription attached: "Presented bv Mine. •— to Alphouse Kurr—in the buck." Crispua Attucks, the famous colored martyr of Boston, whose statue stands on the Common, is now believed to be a liiyth. or, at least, the name is an alias for Michael Johnson. Dr. Green, a Boston antiquarian authority, says that it is by no means sure that even Michael Johnson was the right name. "Allucks," said lip. "or Johnson, if he is lo bo so called, was a renegade half- breed, an adventurous sort of fellow, u sea-faring man, who merely happened to bo in Boston ut the time, and it is quite probable that both the names'' Attneks and Johnson Were aliases.'' Apropos of stories, there arc some funny ones going the rounds about a woman who is the authoress of u most charming bock. She is verv enthusiastic, and not long ago at a dinner parly said; . "Men in ihis counlry don't know how to love. If you want to see real love you must go to Russia; I hern a man s;iys, 'Be mine or you will die.'" Spoken dramatically and with her eyes Hushing, everybody looked immensely interested until u courtly old gentleman rose up from his chair, and. bowing most graciouslv. re- HOW MINERS RESPECt WOMEN. Chltnlry nt * Premium fa (batap (it Mo thorn Are Thl-re. spomfoil: "Oil. madam, how thankful we are that count IT uliv you came back to this EVEN WITH THE BAGG FAMILY, Sli Know Tlii-lr KfRnril mill tnln u> Tnll If. Didn't Moul- most enjoviiblo day my boys preferred According to Weisnmnn. every character possessed by every animal is due to the preservation in the struggle for life of minute accidental variations in the molecular structure of germ- plasm, which alone has adapted every being to its environment. Bones are necessarily more or less heavy structures, but the bones of most birds, while thoir solid substance is exceedingly strnnjr, are wonderfully lightened by the details of their arrangement, and still more by the fact that most of them contain : not marrow but warm (and therefore light) air. Birds stand between boasts and ronlilos, but uro widelv distinct from tiotii. AH nensts possess, as we possess, warm blood, but tho blood of ;i bird is warmer still, und thus birds differgreully from reptiles, in spite of their possessing certain structural characlors in common with that cold- blooded class. It is told of Abbe Liszt that on one of his concert tours throng.i Germany hu wus tendered a banquet at a small town by his admirers. When it was found that thirteen woro seated ut the table tho gonorul umlmrrassment was chucked by Liszt remarking: "Do not bo alarmed ut such u trille. I cuu oat lor two persons." So careful is the packing process in birds that thu parts that grind tho food and act as toolh are placed, not in iho jaws, but in the center of the body—in tho gizzard. These parts consist of small stones, which most birds swallow for this purpose—ull those, that is which food on grain and other substances that require grinding. Baron Nathaniel Rothschild of Vienna can bo seen walking about the village of Wuoroshofeu, near Munich, barefooted, undergoing the nervu-eure of tho Roman Catholic priest, Father Knoip. This doctor makes his patients go barefooted most of tho time, take a plunge every morning into icy cold water, and eschew all meats and intoxicating drinks. Any vessel causing a disaster at her launch is rogunlod by the Japanese us doomed to "ill-fortune for hor whole curoer. At Osaka lately a vessel cup- siy.ud while being launched, several persons being drowuod, und 'her own- urs determined to destroy her at once before lliu unlucky craft produced u further ouiu«tropho. The destruction wus curried out by night with much eeromonv. "Now. madam," said the attorney for the defendant to a little, wiry, black- eyed, fidgety woman who had been summoned as a.witness in abroach of the peace cuse, "yon will please give your testimony i'n as few words as possible. You know the defendant?" "Know whop" "The defendant—Mr. Joshua Bagg?" "Josh Baggt I guess I do iafow him, and I kiiowed his daddy afore him, and I don't know nothing to the credit of either of 'cm and I don't think—-" "We don't want to know what you think, madam. Please say 'yes' or 'no' to my question." "What question." "Do you know Mr. Joshua BuggP" "Don't I know" Mm, though? Well, I should smile! You ask Josh Bagg if he knows me. Ask him if he'kubws anything'bout tryin'to cheat a pore widder liko mo out of u two-year old steer. Ask him if " "Mudurn, I " "Ask him whoso land he got his cord wood off of losi spring, and whv he hauled it in the night. Ask his "wife, Betsey Bagg, if she knows anything about slippiu' in a neighbor's pastel- Mr. W. C. Tonkin, of Silver N. M.. a mining expert and engitfeel is at the Midland. Mr. Tonkft has spent a number of years in the West* ern wilds and has met the American, miner in almost all of his many phases. In the course of a conversation with a group of friends recently the question of the inborn gallantry of the Atneri* can citizen to the fair'sex became the topic undor discussion. One gentleman remarked thatalady could travel all over the United States alone and suffer no inconvenience or annoyance, so longns her conduct did not render her liable to the approaches of tho mustier. He mentioned the play of "The Danites," where a group of miners are waiting the arrival of the new school teacher on the stage. They have bricks, broomsticks, baskets, tin cans and other "wecpins" to make life pleasant for him. The coach drives up and a neat, trim young lady gets down. The miners drop their weapons sheepishly, smooth their heads and, taking in their uncouth appearance, sneak away. "That reminds me," remarked Mr. Tonkin, 'of an instance in a mining camp that illustrates the Veneration with which these rough men regard u woman. A few mouths after my marriage I was sent through Lincoln County, N. M., to survey some mineral lands for u railroad company. My wife wanted lo go with me. It wus a wi. ib L,»U u%vuuu ivvu uuvs, unu iy Bugg's own brother got ketchod loighbor's hen-house at midnight. milliouuiros in the Jo Howard says of Henry Ward Beue.hor: "I huvo soon him hundreds of limes take his lotlurs from iho po.st- olHco, opon them us he walked along the struct, continue opouinn' them in houses whom ho culled, anil, in other words, attend lo his own business. That Mrs. Boucher opened some of his letters is quito likely, but to suv that il was iho regular procedure, sins determining what to auswor and what lo throw away, is simply silly." lot uud milking throe cows on the sh«. Ask ." •* "Sue here, madam " "Ask Josh Bagg about that uncle of his that died in u penitentiary out West. Ask him about lettin' his pore olo mother die in the porehouse. Ask Betsey Bagg about putting a big brick into u lot of butter she sold lust fall—" "Madam, I toll you " "See if Josh Bagg knows anything about feeding ten head of cattle all the suit they would eut, and then leltiuo- them swill down all the water they could hold just 'fore he driv them into town, and sold 'em. See what he's »-ot to say to that!" ° "That has nothing to do with the case. 1 want you to " "Then there was old Azrael Ba"-o-, own uncle to Josh, got rid of his natTvo town on a rail 'tween two chivs, and Betsey " in a nei Ask Josh ' "Madam, what do you know about this cuseP" >_ "I don't know the' first livin' thiu« 'bout it, but I'll bntJoshBagi'iswuilty" whatever it is. The fuel is, I've owed them Baggses u grudire for the last lifleeu years and I go"t myself called up us u witness on purpose to git even with 'em, uud I feol that .I've done it. Gooa-by."— Detroit Free Press. A. Little Boy's Reply. For precocity, irropressibility and too often depravity. "Young America" in those present clays scarcely can be surpassed. Here is an illustration: A little chap, not yet 8 years old. whoso parents live on one of the fashionable avenues, went, last week, to pay a visit to his grandmother in Yonkers. While there, in rummaging through his grandmother's secretary, he came across a silver 60-cont piece, and very shortly afterward ho was on his way down town to invest his "find." He expended tho whole amount for peanuts and, upon his return, was enjoying them in the privacy of his chamber, when his grandmother put in an appearance, f "Why, Robbie," she exclaimed, taking in the situation, "where on earth did you gut all those peanuts?" "Bought 'cm," was the reply. "But whore did you got the money?" "A gonlleniau I uiot over ou \Vur- burion avenue gave it to uio." ••Robbie, I dou't believe you are lolling mu tho truth," slowly "said iho old lady, looking her grandson in the oyus. "In f;w;i I am suru you are tolling mo u falsehood. A little bird tolls mo that you are." The boy looked at her with a some- whal incredulous expression. "Now cumu, Robbie, tell mo whore you - • •• • ..» ub x». i.y £\J ,,1111 IUU. XI, ,* HO it UUtllJJ- put expedition und u case of 'roughing it' and no mistake. I finally consented to her going with mo, and we sefr^ out with an ambulance, cooking out-1 fit, &c., across the plains. 160 niilesj from any railroad and into the heart t/r the wilderness. "One day a terrific- rain set in and continued all night. In the storm I lost my bearings "and wandered about until 8 o'clock at night, when I saw u light. I drove towards it, and came up to a small miner's cabin. I got down, knocked ut the door und was admitted. I stated my case and asked for shelter. "'Come right in, stranger, and welcome,' was my answer. "I glanced around the ono room and saw four roughly dressed miners. The room had no lloor. und only un open lircplnco, over which thoir frugal meals were cooked. A few necessary articles completed Iho entire furniture of the cabin. -My wife is with me,' I said, 'uud is out in the wagon now.' -Here boys, bundle oul o' this and help the stranger in with his things. Bo lively, now.' said the spokesman, pulling off his hut aud squaring things about? "They helped us in with our goods, got a roaring lire to going and then forming in line near the 'loader, said: •Yer kindly welcome, mum. We ain't got much to offer, but yor can take the ranch. Mo an' my m'atos'll git and roost outside. Joss make vefsolf to home an' don't mind us. "They wore standing uncovered all this time and when the speech was ended tiled out of their cabin and stayed out all night in the rain, in spito of the earnest protests of my wife and myself. Those great big-hearted, f rough men vacated their home for a lady and would not let us remunerate thorn in any way. 'We dou't see no wimmen folks in these dio-o-i ns '_the loader suid—'an' we feels "proud to know yer been here.. What'we done am t nolhiu' to talk about and we'd lick a mean skunk which wouldn't do likewise for a lady."— Eatima -Gitv Girls Behind the Counter. If I were asked to give a set of rules or suggestions for girls whoso days are spent behind the counter, they would read something like this:— Remember that all the time spout in the store belongs to your employer That courtesy behind the counter wins even the most captious customer. J hut gossip about youny men or with them, is un business-like.' and, nuclei the circumstances, rude. Never attempt to instruct a customer: wlnloyou may suggest, or politely question, Iho desirability of this 01 Mint. Do not suy, "Here Sucle, hand me your pencil," to your neighbor. _ Novor suy, "No. wo haven't »-ot it" in a short, crisp tone, fur better's polite "I am sorry to suy we do not have it in stock." Do not thrust u package at a customer us you would u pisiol in the face of u highwayman. Never throw down goods with an air which seems to say, -I do no t cure whether you buy it or not." Always remember, that duty to vour employer demands your best service and duty to yourself also. SBMIca Sook to be a model some one will soon merits. . Dress modestly and avoid cheap jewelry, the best ornaments are* promptness, politeness, a well-mod™ luted voice, and strict attention to duty. exacting employer will gladly the merits of an efficient .fpl: fl &s t «.' 'V ' '•• ;i "iSUJI recogmzo a so-c 'js'ias^ and is fan got that money?" "Well, why don't i lickuy bird?" wus tho r'< dicl, boy. you ask your •eply of thu bad Curious Professions. Amoug curious Parisian professions are urlitieiul our and nose makers, prayer-makers, leg-stretchers, sulud- mixors, knockors-up and fourteenth num. The latter class are mueu in demand in Paris, to meet iho awk- wurduoss of having thirteen guests to dinner, on which poiut tho Parisians uro very superstitious; the fourteenth Tho lalo French author. Alphouso . . Kurr, had one of the most caustic of UUIU is always ready to utleud ut'a sometimes brought him in-' moment's notice. SL-JS"-wS?K^J*JSS A Los Augoles paper ctesci-ioes it tomato treogro wing il, that city It is a iiutn oof Guatemala, and the/rul E?. IU ° nstUl ' 8 ' tl '° latinos Vein Mioothuud perfectly oval it, 8ua PCB -^ taste very tomato. much like tho They ordinary

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