The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on November 2, 1892 · Page 6
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, November 2, 1892
Page 6
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WPjR SMQtNES^ALMA. IOWA, WEDNESDAY* NOVEMBER \ UNDER THE BED. iillhclolplil.-i Woman's FHftlit at the Merc RiRht of it 1'iilt- of Hoots. It will perhaps not startle mankind J£bt|orally to Inarn l.hat there is a lady residing somewhere on the, west side in this corpulent city who looks tinder '-.or bed every night before she blows wilt, tho gas to see whether some bold, bad man has not come in, unawares and is lying in wait to see where she puts her false tenth. She has boon doing this for no living man darns say how many summers. Not because she has any objections to a man. for she is unmaaried and has not altogether surrendered hope, but she very properly objects to a Irian under her bed. As there are probably very few women in New York who look under tho bed before retiring this one is sufficiently designated when I say she resides in a fashionable quarter under tho protecting wing of a male parent and two bachelor brothers. Her maid sustains the relation of picket-guard in a small communicating room. One of the bachelor brothers is of a .convivial tiirn of mind and is liable not to come homo nights. Tho first black- bass day of .the season the convivial brother went a-iishihg. Tho motion of tho water during the day had the effect of curiously turning his head; so that/ when ho came homo early in the night ho began to divest himself of his fishing garments as soon as he got into the hall, hanging his piscatm-ial coat on the newel post and distributing tho rest of the outfit right and left as he won tup to bed. This saved valuable time and will servo as a pointer to those who are prone to fall into bod with their boots on. It«so happened that the maiden sis- tor was doing tho society act around tho corner ati'd came in 'later, accompanied by her maid. Tho former at once discovered the strange-looking coat filing 'round the newel post stud almost fainted.' But the maid is of a more mnsculino build and temperament and came out strong in this emergency. "It's somebody in the house, ma'am," she hoarsely whispered. "Don't say a word an' we'll.yet him him!" "But, Lam-Si Laura! Just think! I don't want him!" whimpered tho mistress. "Indeed, I can't go np there!" "Then you stay in tho dr'awiiig-room, ma'am, and I'll go up and wake Mr. •Charles." "No, no—ho might be in the basement this minute packing tho silver. I'll go with you, Laura. I'm such a coward and vou're so strong and brave!" " .7 ho used to exclaim: "This is too Dad of yon. One at a time, gentlemen; I'll Serve you rt.ll in turn." Joey had a way parrot that usually adorned the barroom, and this mode of "rushing Joey," as the boys called it. occurred sA frequently that Polly was not long in "catching on," and I have scon her literally scream with delight when the boys entered with a nish, and in the thick of the fun Poll would exclaim: "One at a time, gentlemen; I'll serve you all in turn." Poll became a great favorite with the customers, but her language was not at all times up to drawingroom stand-' ard. However* one fine morning the boys entered as usual, but poor Poll was missing. It appeared that in cleaning tho cage the servant had thoughtlessly left the door open, and the bird had escaped to the garden and flown off. Nothing was heard of her for a couple of days or so, when Joey was informed that Polly had been seen in a field a few hundred yards from the house, in tho midst of a flock of rooks and jackdaws. With cage in hand, Joey and a few of tho boys started in pursuit of tho missing'bird. On approaching the field whore Poll had been seen they heard a mighty clamor among the rooks, and looking over the fence discoverod that Poll was there, but in a most unenviable position. Tho rooks had pocked and crowded her back into one corner of the field, where she was supporting herself by her tail and one foot, while with her beak and the disentangled foot she was defending herself at the same time oxclaimingat the top of her voice: "One at a time, gentlemen, one at a time. I'll servo you all in turn." MEN WlTK PRETTY KAil.S. 1h*re Arc rii-ntj- of Thcin to tic Seen Washington. IB They stole quietly up-stairs. At tho head of the first flight they came across another old garment. "It's his vest," said the maid, "and "hero's his cap," she added, picking up the ill-smelling headpiece between her thumb and forefinger. "Uffh! it smells of lish?" "Oh, dear! He must have expected to stay all night!" _ They hesitated just a minute and listened. The -customary snore from tho next floor back was reassuring. "It do sound nice," saiil Laura. "Mr. James ki in, anyhow, and ^that's more than we have any right to expect." Both women braced up. "I^don't believe no.burglars come in and throw thoir clothes around like this," finally remarked the shrewd serving "irl. "I'll find out before I make a fool of myself," she added. "You go in your room, ma'am, an' lock the doors if you want to, I'm going down into the basement." With considerable reluctance and some protestation the mistress, having iirst, explored the maid's room and her own chamber by the full glare of the gas, consented" and the maid went boldly down into tho basement. She found tho silver and everything else all right and had started up-ltairs again, when an unearthly shriek rang through the, house. She How up-stairs two or three stops at a time and rounded the second-story landing just as a gentleman in his night dress, armed with a murderous-looking pistol, rushed from the back bedroom. They telescoped on the curve and wont down with a noise like putting in the •winter's coal. "Oh, dear! Why, Mr. Charles!" .groaned tho maid. "Don't shoot!" "You confounded fool!" yelled the old bachelor, rubbing his bruised bald head—"it's you, is it!" "Wow! Yow! Murder! Help!" came from the front room and forgetting thoir own bruises both master and -•want scrambled to thoir feet ami sashed to the rescue. "Hero he is! Un-dor-my-bed!" § aspod tho half fainting .mistress, oublcd up in a lioap on the tloor. Quick as a Hash Iho bold maid sprang for the bed and tho now thoroughly aroused bachelor brother, catching eight of a dirty pair of boots, thrusl tho pistol under, shouting: "Conio out there or I'll shoot!" And lie grabbed the nearest boot and gave it a terrible jerk—and fell back on the (floor with nothing but a boot! \ "Wlm-wha-wlmssor row 'bout?" . It was tho other bachelor brother, his nightrotfo on wrong sido foremost, swaying on tho doorknob. "Whuz-all-erow 11 Nobody ca-catch fish 'z all zis noise! Gimme my boot- watcher doin' wi-wi-my bootP EhP 'Idgot yer foot wot? Lesh noise- catch more fish — zee? Pass bait, pleash!"— Philadelphia Jteconl. PRETTY POLLY'S STOCK PHRASE. Who Will Explain? To-day 1 feel like darning. To-morrow I may feel like darning, darning. To-day I want to visit. To-morrow I wish my visiting list was wiped out. To-day I am sure that everything is arranged and managed for my best good. To-morrow I am likely to lie equally certain that I am tho'victim of fate and that blind chance rules the universe. To-day 1 am glad I am alive. To-morrow I may wish I had never been born. To-day I speak softly and tenderly to my fellow-creatures. To-morrow if I speak at all it will be with tho voice of a shrew. To-day I am prefeetly happy and know I shall never be anything elso. To-morrow finds mo abjectly miserable and thoroughly'convinced' I always shall bo. To-day my children are so lovely that I am sure thoy must have had a heavenly origin. To-morrow I am in considerable doubt about their celestial pedigree, but have none at all cocerning their ultimate destiny Do I learn anything from this ex- perince. No.—Eleanor Kirk's Idea. A Boy's Essay on Cats. A small boy in one of the Detroit schools recently handed in this position on cats: Cats have four legs and nine lives. Why they are five len-s shore I don't kno at this time. I gess I can find out tho when I die. I think cats wood be a gonld decl fnnnyer if they nine legs and live lives, don't you? Cats have tales which they rap rouurl thare feat when they set down so as to hold them together. I kno a bob- taled cat tha,t is ashamed to wet down in public a tall. I jress it is afrade its feat willskatter. Tharo are Tom cats and Puss cats, which the Tom cat is more massive and as a more sounding voiso, in the midnight darkly when all cits is still. Cate cries like babies sometimes, but you can not giv them parrygorick to quiet thare norvns systems like you can babies. Wo have a baby at our house that I gess has driuked about four quarts of parry gorick and every nito it cries jnst tho salm for more. -I goss that baby must hav the parry gorick habbit. 'Young cats are very frisky and thoy will play all day because thoy don't hav no skool to go to. I gess I would like to be a cat till I was growed up to ho a man. Cats eat milk and mice regular and the canary for dezart. Cats are very clean animals, but I never thought it was very clean to spit on their hands and wash tharo faces in the manner in which they do. I gess I have wrote all I kno about cats. P. S. Cats has Icctrisity in thare backs and they can bio up'tharo tales as big as a tli brush when they sire froshus.— Detroit Free Press, Bob Ingcrsoll Can Cook. "Men are no longer aphnmeri to b.tre their naiis attended to," said a fashionable manicure specialist to a Washington Star reporter. "Yes, indeed, they used to be very much so. Fourteen years ago, when'I first came to Washington, my occasional male customers H'ero wont to dodge into my shop in a Mieaking way, as if they feared detec tion in the act. Let your lingers rest in this little basin of warm water, if you please. But, as I was about to say, that has all changed. Very many gentlemen.about half as many as ladies, come to me to have their hands treat? ed. 'Nor.if they happen to be seen here by any of their friends, do they feel abashed. "You see people have come to con* aider it as much a matter of course to have their nails attended to as to have their teeth kept in order. Once upon a time it was regarded as nothing out of the way to have decayed teeth, and toothaches were a common complaint. Let me take your hand and dry it in this towel, so. I have quite a little arsenal of weapons, you observe, for paring the nails and other necessary operations. Take notice how delicately these little curved scissors can be employed to trim away little bifs of superfluous skin around the nails. As I was remarking, it is the thing now to have tho hands manicured. The most fashionable people have their nails put in order regularly once a week. "The art of manicuring originated in France an" was brought to this country about fifteen years ago. A little while before that it had become the fashion on this sido of the water, for ladies particularly, to possess sots of tools for improving their- own nails. If you were to have an opportunity of comparing the nails of well-bred "people to-day with thoso of a generation or two ago you would be astonished to find what air improvement there has boon. Now that I have made the tins of your nails nicely rounded and smooth-edged by rubbing with this bit of emery cardboard it is time for you to put your hand back into the wau;r for a moment. Then this young lady will finish it while I begin on tlui other hand. When two of us work together in this way wo can finish with a person in twenty minutes, whereas* it would take me ail hour to do ii aione. "French people are always more careful about little matters of personal neatness than the English or Americans —that is, the gently folks are at ali events. My best customers to-day are foreigners of the legations. It is they who have done most to make manicuring fashionable in Washington. A good many people, especially ladies, come to me every fortnight or so to have their toenails attended to. No, it is not usually because they have anything the matter with them, but merely for the luxury of the thing and the beutifyiug effect on the feet. After a person has had the nails of his handa put in order once, an inclination is naturally felt to keep them so. It is surprising how easy that it is to accomplish with a few moments of at- tion each day, pushing the skin back around each nail whenever the hands are washed and trimming them carefully. The finest manicuring implements are imported from Europe. Now 1 will give the nails of yoin- other hand a final polishing and you will be finished. Do they not look nicely!" Johnny on Married Polks and Girl^ Mamma and pa'pa gets mad every once in a while and has a great time about nothin'. You'd think thoy' eat each other up. But when mamma goes oil' visitiri' papa acts like a cry baby, and when papa goes' off on business mamma is a cry baby till he gets back safe. Other boys say their papas ries for the child's noiirishment, they kissed the ground and slowly turned their stcr* toward the darkened tepee, never again to hear the patter of the little restless feet, the baby voice, or feel the clasp of the tiny hand. The baby tongue was stilled forever, and in that Indian mothers heart, was an unutterable longing, a grief that could never be healed. . "The Indians always burv with their children the playthings "they have loved in life. Among the Fl'atheada especially the toys and small belongings of the children are sure to bd placed under the little tent which is placed over each dead body." ALL ABOUT TOUCANS. 5fn«y Arc Sociable Birds, Resembling Btohkeys In Theif Hnblts. and mammas is the same way. I guess it's malaria. I like girls. Some boys don't, but that's because thoy doesn't know how to manage 'cm. Girls gets tired of everything so quick that all you got to do is to lot 'em have thoir own way till thoy guts tired of it an' then you can boss 'om all the rest of tho day. J <ruess womens is the same wav.— iV Y Herald. * No fowls of the air more admirably typify in their own persons the effect of a forestine tropical fruit-eating life than the gorgeous toucans. Their big bill enables them to reach out from afar at fruits as they sit at their ease on the trees that bear them, and to tosp them off at a gulp in a large and airy manner that is very characteristic of all the whole-swallowing fruit eaters. They are gregarious and sociable birds, to a great extent organized into a fixed community; for they make common caiVse against enemies, such as owls' and falcons, whom they surround'and mob, with one accord, after the fashion of all dominant races, as rooks do in England. Having thus little need for protection, thoy are noisy and clamorous in their native woods, resembling in all these respects tho other gregarious fruit eaters, like parrots and monkeys. In short, they display for us in full perfection tho free democratic, fearless, open and gossipy life naturally engendered in tropical surroundings among powerful and social frugiverous species. But it is more especially tho gorgeous coloration of the toucans which renders them most typical in many ways of tho habits and manners of the larger fruit-eating birds. Flower- hunting and fruit-eating creatures, such as butterflies, humming-birds, cockatoos and lories, almost always develop in the long run a marked ojs- thetic taste for pure and brilliant colors', which reacts at last through sexual selection on tho their own appearance. Accustomed to seek their food among bright tropical blossoms or gaudy Southern forest trees like mangoes and star-apples, the feathered aassthetes acquire a hereditary lo^e for color which influences them in the end in the choice of their own brilliant mates and so secures the perpetuation of th most beautiful and most gorgeous o the kind by unconscious selections And in this respect the Cornliill Maga zinc says th.itthe toucans are absolute ly unsurpassed in the whole range o nature; their large 'and richly-colore bills, their delicate breast plum»ge and bodies generally, present a variot of melting tints and contrasted hue nowhere else to bo found in equall} close display on any other animal. People who have only seen stuffei toucans in a museum, however, cat have no proper idea of the astonishing magnificence and beauty of their rain bow coloring in a state of nature For the most delicate and most irri descent of all their hues are those o the big beak and the soft naked part of the face and body! Horo, blue anc green, crimson, orange, and yellow pass quickly into one another by dainty gradations. Unhappily tho tints o the soft parts are so very evanoscen thai they disappear altogether within •> fetv hours after death,and without then to harmonize the general etl'ect of th whole, the gaudy coloring of tho per manent plumj.'ge is apt to strike one in a museum, as positively garish in its crude reds and yellows. A living toucan, on the contrary, though al most barbaric in its magnificence, can never bo accused of vulgar bad taste it is like St. Mark's at Venice, or the Moorish decorations of the Al ham bra at Granada, polychromatic to the las digging a trench for siege practice near the town of that name in 1860. We cannot doubt that this glorious trouvaille was the "camp equipage of some very rich traveler, probably a lloman general —though conjecture has boundless field for speculating how it could find its way to Hildesheim, which the lloman armies neverreached There are stewpans, pots, plates, _ a batterie do cuisine complete, all of silver, exquisite in lorm and in ornament; the legs, so to call them, of a. table, stands for lamps, and other things indefinable, all silver and all lovely; a complete dinner service, plates, dishes, cups, goblets, of beautiful Greek work, in silver, with gold wreaths and attachments. One might say in truth that the goldsmith's art could not go beyond the grace and richness of these articles—many of which are ascribed to the first century\ A. D.—had not the Russian finds surpassed them. The Hildesheim treasure is at Berlin; tho Russian at tbe Winter palace. That, in truth, is glorious beyond imagining. Of one piece M. Thiers declared, in ranture, that a nation would be justified in making war on the czar for possession of it This is the "Nikopol vase." Volumes have been written and libraries will be written on these marvels. Therefore we do' not dwell upon them. Thoy have been recovered from tumuli in the neigborhood of tho ancient Greek oolouies on tho Black sea. A SWEDISH §ATH. I tvas advised while in Stockholm i take a Swedish bath. I was m miliar with the Turkish and R but of. the Swedish I had not heS but as a bath is always a luxury I quite willing to avail myself.of tho on portunity. 1 purchased my ticket f ro a young woman in the office on t lower floor of the bath house, at a cost! of 1 kroner—50, or about 40 cents- passed up one flight of stairs ar youngl 1 a finely! CARE OF EX-CONFEDERATES. How tho Southern Stilton Treat, Their Disabled VoteritiiB.of tho War. degree, yet monious. always beautifully bar- SOME FAMOUS FINDS. Wonderful Treasures Unearthed In Spain, Germany and KuttHia. It Came In Fat In tho Course of a liuttle AVith liouks. A friend of mine was keeper of a hotel in the old country famed for its excellent accommodation and superior bitter beer, says a writer in the N, Y. Beconler. His name was Joseph Nor- vls, but among the boys he was bettor known as "Joey." \ Joey was a little man, no more than feet. 2 inches in heiglit. He dressed faultlessly and was methodical to a degree. Np gue«s work about Joey. \VliBii he said yes he meant yes. But Joey had a little temper of his own, and nothing delighted the boys more than to rush into Joey's barroom eight or ten at a time and all call at once\for their glasses of bitter beer, while keeping up a running fire of chaff. Thfs invariably irritated tho little man. amP Col. Robert G. Ingersoll and Lawyer Edward Murphy were walking "together across tho Brooklyn bridge. Mr. Murphy had boon coniplimontiTig Col. Ingersoll upon a logal argument ho had boon making. Tho colonel thanked him but said": "That is nothing. Any man can be an orator; any man can make a legal argument; any man can be a^successful lawyer; any man can make a great speech; it only takes study and hard work. I am not at all proud of being able to do any of those things, but there is one thing of which I am very proud, very proud. "What is that colonel?" "I can cook mushrooms better than any one else in all tho world."— New York Journal. A Chinese Baby. Mpa, the daughter of tho Chinese minister in Washington, is a personage of much interest at tho national capital. She is only a year old and can scarcely toddlo. Chinese etiquette forbids tho attaches of tho legation to recognize tho minister's wife and sis- tor-in-law, even though thoy pass those ladies on tho stairs. But they exchange salutations with the infant, who, perhaps, with tho privileges of her ago, makes the first advances. Mea's name means "Beautiful Ameiv ica."—A'awsns City Times. It is stated that 40,000,000 of Queen Victoria's subjects in India never knov it is to «ot enough to eat. wvuut it \ A PAPOOSE BURIAL. a .tlothor'H Wild I.ulliiby Over Her Llttl« Dead liiiby. One who roamed the Northwestern Un-ritury years ago relates the following pathetic story, says the Hs-lona Journal, of the burial of a papoose near riuattle, which ho happened upon by hearing the mother's lament: "Creeping nearer," hu said, "1 saw two squaws in tho door of tho topee powering over tho embers of a dying lire. Both were waiting, keeping the the wake for the dead, and one hold clasped to her breast a little stiflly bound bundle. Starting in a low gurgling sound, thoir wall rose louder ;intl louder on the sti'll night air, until at last it culminated in a prolonged shriek. It came and went, and ciime ruid went again, that lament for the .lead over the little body incased in its olill wrappings that had been all the world to her. "To-morrow would see it pass from her sight forever— to-night it was cradled in her arms. After a little the passionate lamentions subsided, and by and by tho mother began to croon to herseli a lullaby, used by the women of the Flalhoads for hundreds of years. Roughly translated, it runs thus: , Swinsr. little one, lullaby, Tliou'rt iiututime to wui*|>; MoiiaT CUIVB for you— shy is nigh, Slaifv, my llulu ono, sluup. tiuntly, gi'iHly, wot! one swing; GunUy, gc-iiily, while 1 sintj 1 , K-wo wti-wu, lulliiljy. "In all my life I have never heard anything so heartrending. Silently I utole away and leJl t'ui mother rocking her dead baby in her arms. "Next morning when I resumed my journey I camo across the two squaws, who were arranging tho grave for the dead baby. Bending over the tightly swathed bundle, they kissed it again uud again, then sobbing, began to throw in clods of earth until thiTgrave was lilled- then leiiyinu- um? bor? The recovery of tho Spanish galleon wreaked off Hispaniola, of which the bullion was secured by some English speculators in 1(387, has cost later iren- erations dearly. The duke of Albemarle, governor of Jamaica, received £90,000, the royal share was £10,000, gentlemen who had adventured £100 took £8,000 to £10,000. Innumerable have boon the disastrous enterprises which this success promoted. Within the last few years we saw a company formed to recover Napoleon's army chest, sunk, with the vessel that contained it, at the battle of Abukir. Perhaps the most interesting find, saving those wondrous tombs in South Russia, was tho "treasure of Guarra- zar," discovered in 1858. Some peasants traveling near Toledo noticed objects of gold and jewel work washed partly out of the ground by heavy rains. They broke them to pieces and divided them. Happily, an intelligent man heard the story in time, bought np every fragment, pieced them all together, and lied to Paris, where he sold tho lot to the Musee Cluny. Tho objects proved to be eleven crowns—mostly "votive"—of Gothic monarchs who ruled Spain during the seventh century. Of the owner in two cases there is no doubt at all, for they boar his name in letters of gold hanging by gold chains from the circles, with a jewel pendant from each letter. One bears the simplelinsorip- tion, "Suinthila," who reigned from 621 to 681 A. D.; tho other, "llecces- vinthus rex offeret." His date was 649-672 A. D. Two, if not more, are queens' crowns. One, the largest, has thirty bi^ sapphires and thirty pearls of great size; below it hangs a cross set with largo sapphires and pearls, which, again, has jeweled pendants. But we must not describe minutely objects which are, perhaps, better known to antiquarians at least, than any pieces of goldsmiths' work exist? ing. The "treasure of Hildesheim" also is priceless.' It was found by soldiers Georgia's confederate pension, system, under which disabled veterans received from $'J to $2.0 per month, according to the disability, is highly creditable to the state, but it should accept and maintain tho home near this city in order to complete the good work, says the Atlanta Constitution. It will bo of interest to review tho situation in other southern states. Virginia led in tho movement, and established a confederate homo at llichmond, for the support of which the state expends $10,000 a year. Pensions to the amount of $5,000 annually are also paid. Alabama has no home, but pays §215,000 year in pensions. Arkansas has a liome at Little Kock built by private subscription, supported l»y state aid. Florida has no homo, but payu §30,000 year to disabled confederates who iavo resided in the state fifteen years. Mississippi is without a home, but has made liberal provision for her indigent and disabled confederates. Missouri Days no pensions, but a movement is >n foot to raise $100,000 to endow a home without state aid. Maryland has a home costing $-10,000 near Baltimore, aided by the state to the extent of $10.000 annually. Louisiana has a home near New Orleans, and the state grants it §10,OOQ a year. North Carolina not only pays pensions, but has appropriated $41,000 for a home. South Carolina pays about $50,000 in pensions, but has no home. Texas has a home established by subscription. It costs $3,500 a year. Tennessee has established a home at the old home of Andrew Jackson, "The Hermitage," tho state having given 475 acres of land and $10,000 for improvement in 1889. The legislature in 1891 appro- handed the ticket to another wornan t who ushered me into furnished parlor In a few moments another femala appeared who spoke pleasantly to roe but I could not understand a word' She was handsome, tall and stronm her dress was flowered, with a red 1 ground; it had no sleeves—less thatJ no sleeves—it was cut under the arms 1 decollete! The entire ' ' * dress was covered by apron. Her blonde hair front of her! a white linen! grew thick;I and a bunch of it budded gracefully on the back of her head. She repented! her former remarks with a smile. I simply answered, "Bath, bath!" She then said, "Parlez-vous Francais?" I replied, "Nay, nay." She said "Sprechen sieDeutschP" "Bath," said I. She then started to leave the room and motioned me to follow. "Barkis was willing." I was conducted into as line a bath-room as I had ever soon. It was upholstered in maroon velvet- there wore mirrors, chairs, sofa, hooks' for your clothes, slippers, etc. The bathtub was of polished olive wood,encircled by bands of gilt and silver,with large, bright-headed nails driven in all around it. This lovely Amazon and I gave up our language and became dumb, that wo might learn of each other by signs. I soon heard tho water roaring in the tub, and with a "Swedish movement" of her hand she motioned whore to hang my clothes. When I was partly undressed she picked up a silver hell, dangled it before my face, and then placed it on the window sill beside the tub and left tho room. A little later I stood in tho bath: I reached for the boll, rang it. anil this same Venus of the bath appeared. She laid her hand on my shoulder and motioned me to sit down in tho tub. I sat. She then made, by the use of a long towel, a kind of a hammock, which she placed across the head of the tub. My next position was to lie on my back, my head resting in tho hammock; thon this water nymph commenced operations in earnest. Up she took my left leg and with brush and soap scrubbed it well. Then along my side underneath the water swung her strong arm to and fro from throat to foot, like a mighty pendulum. Presently I was turned over with my face in the hammock, to havo my other leg operated upon and my back scrubbed. I then sat up in the tub and was thoroughly shampooed. She then led me a step or two, and after a kindly push I found myself in a small enclosure taking a refreshing shower bath; after which she throw over me a largo cloak made of Turkish toweling, and at once gave me a thorough rubbing down until I was dry. I was then seated upon the sofa, and she sat by my side! She pluced my clean foot in her massive lap, and priated §25,000 for a building and §5,- / with the aid of scissors, file and cham- 000 a year for its support, and in addi- ois, put it in perfect order. Before tion $GO.OOO,orso much thereof as may -•----'.. -• - . . be necessary for expenditure annually in pensions, which range from $2.50 to $25 per month. It is thought that $25,000 per year will cover the pension list. Of all tho southern states Ken tucky alone has made no provision, for her ex-confederates. THESE ARE BOSTON GIRLS. They UoHumhlo Diana's IfunlroHses, cording to Vary Gitad JiiflRCH. Ao Any one who thinks that phvsica. development and training are likely to make girls "mainline" will do well t« ask to be admitted to the norma school of gymnastics at a time wlicr. the young ladies are at thoir workdays tho Transcript. The Listener saw some hundred of them the other day (there seemed as many as a hundred. thou»l he did not count them), and he perceived nothing masculine about thorn except their instructor, who was a man, and ono student, who was a man, too. In the gallery there were two youn gentlemen as spectators; and whci during a recess, tho girl students were amusing themselves in all sorts of ways, and making calls upon one another, running laughingly hand in luiiid as they did so.onoof thoso youn» men remarked, "Not much like' boys° ehP" and tho other said, "Not much! And yet some of their exorcises were not unworthy of the strength and sun- :)leness of a man. One thing that particularly pleased the Listener was tho class running. The girls ran several ;imos around the hall, like Diana's .uintresses, gracefully and beautifully. One might havo supposed that skirts, stays and generations of indoor stupor had put an end forever to the ability of women to run swiftly and «race- ully, but it is apparent that this art, as well as many other beautiful athletic things, was only dormant. A itt.le following of nature brings it all back. There are many movements in he Swedish system of physical train- ng which are not beautiful in themselves, but it is explained that they are merely means to an end, and are >racth'od for the saka of the reaction! they prodiif.f* upon the system. She Is a Martyr. A famous duchess in London recent- y went through tho ordeal of havii *« i dress made on her own fi.nire siu. tood for three hours while"the'dress, uaker wrought fifty yards of rare' old ace, that could not :.j Ollti inl "^ -own for a soiree, at the close of which very stitch had to be carefully pie e ut before the lady could Xobe The amount of torture that fah ± : en, will undergo in the ,„ , ° ot anity would astonish the iullimore American, martyrs manicuring tho uher foot she left the room, but soon returned to serve me with a glass of water. The glass was thin, it had a silver holder, it was on a silver tray, and the water was frusli 1 After my feet were sulliciently operated upon my linger nails were cut, cleaned and beautified, and before leaving the room she did not forget tp turn my socks. When I was partly dressed she returned without mv ringing the bell, and helped me o'n with my vest and coat. Then I presented her with a silver coin and she presented mo with a smile. I shall probably remember the smile long after she has forgotten tho coin. Men are BO constant! I have taken many baths, in many countries, but the Swedish i» the best of all.— (Jhurcli Union. II<: Had 'ICin Aifiiln. A New York loner, badly muddled, si. inidnijrhr ;jui into iln- house ndjuin- ing i hat, in which hi; lived, and being somewhat thirsty descended to Ilia dining room where a pitri:er of ice- water -isusiialiy stmiil on the table. The house is m.-ciipiuu us a "freak" boarding-house, wlime ^omo of tint living at tractions of Uio id me museums- find rest, mid fond. A .<u|>|i«r is nightly served to the "freaks" aiu-r their return from the various \\-.\\\s on 111" Bowery where they are e.xKil.iied. This meal was in progros.s whoi, the toper staggered ill and hu W:IK nomowliiit startU.-ii on beholding (hi stratit:<; guests. Tim double - lieiulmi woman was ogling the living skeleton; tlw .jhmless and the dwarf, having refreshed themselves, were playing eiic-hro for niekels; tlit; India rubber man wits engaged between niuiilhfuls- of food in an angry dispute \rith tlt« muscular .Samson" who holdo thousands of pounds suspended from his jaw. "What is this- 1 " exclaimed tho 1'iiebriale, looking around. Ho im- •vgined Unit he had stumbled into- Danlu'a lnlenio anil was "lad when lie- made a hasty exit.— A 7 . IT Ledger. Not a Genuine Anarchist. In a secret Anarchist mooting. Inner Guard (to head center)— "You ordered beer for every one in tue< room?" Kug- i v' ,1. There are 10,000 parishes in and with only church schools. A woman was recently arraignsd be- ore the magistrate in Liverpool 99th time. She was fined 10 »nd posts, or ten davi 1 Head Center— "Yes." Jnnor Guard— "Well, there's a little 'eil-neaded man over in the corner who says l« never drinks beer." Head Con tor -"Confusion! we are discovered."— Judge. The oil wells in this country supply oj.OJJ barrels a day. Knew \Vluit He About. Singerly— "I hear your firm offered "ii nn increase in salary or a month's vacation, and you arog>iii"-to take '•'»<* vacation. What are vou ;. ing to do Unit for? 1 should think you wouW • uther have the iiieix'aso." Strawher--"Not much, old My vacation is tlie only time Cue year that 1 can fulfiu !ovo -ru-i, "- -Ulotluer unit fellow- during with

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