The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on August 10, 1892 · Page 8
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 8

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, August 10, 1892
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ME PPPEtt DBS MQINES. ALQONA. IOWA. WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 10,1892. MtSSlKG LINKS. The king clam of Penobscot bay was taken at Islesboro recently. It weigtied eighteen ounces. It is stated that the Thomson-Houston^ Electric company has 1,030 patents on its electrical apparatus. Thii Josephine, Oregon, caves have been explored for about ten miles, and they seem to run away into California, The Swiss have done the least fighting this century, and their only important outbreaks have been more of a civil than a military character. There is a law which, if enforced, compels the delivery of all letters for girls under 18 and boys Under 21 years of age to their parents or guardians. The natives of Damascus call drunkenness "the English disease," and the name is an interesting commentary on the refining influences of civilization. There is a bouse in Summerville, Ga., which has had since its erection three tenants, and soon after its occupation by each was struck by lightning- Saturday is said to be the great day for conflagrations in London, and the fire department is called out more frequently in August and December than in any other month. _ It is now generally held by electricians that the principle of the aurora borealis is the same as that shown by the Geissler tube, in which electricity is discharged through rarefied air. A bright New York boy has set himself up in the business of exercising line bred dogs for rich men whose time is too much taken up with money-making to properly look after their canine property. Fluids which do not adhere, or are not attracted upward by the sides of a vessel, sink round the'brim and rise in the center. Thus mercury in a glass forms a convex surface, while water forms a concave. In the summer of 1889 4,039,000 lobster eggs we.re hatched and the young lobsters' planted around the head of Trinity bay, the eggs having been obtained from l»bster packing establishments in the vicinity. In a discussion lately carried on as to the distance at which large objects on the earth's surface are visible, it was stated that the Himalaya mountains have appeared to view from the great distance of 224 miles. Electric welding is now applied to the work of manufacturing iron wheels. The process of welding the hnb.spokes and tiro of a wheel is accomplished in thirty seconds, which is very much less time than it took by the old process. A new form of saddle is being served out to the garda du corps experimentally by order of the German emperor. There has been some talk in military circles lately of a new saddle, all the metal parts of which are made of aluminium. A few years ago the Baroness Burdett-Coutts came into possession of an abbreviated edition of a pony which was only fourteen inches in height and was but eighteen inches in length counting from the end of the nose straight across totthe root of the tail. The largest wooden bridge in the world is that at Two Medicine, on the St. Paul & Manitoba railway. It is 751 feet long and 211 feet above the water. In this bridge are 750,000 feet of lumber, and any one piece can bo removed and replaced when worn out without disturbing the rest. The Japanese are fond of bathing. In the city of Tokio there are over Sj.J public bath-houses, in which a person •can take a bath, hot or cold, for a sum •equal to one cent. Most of the Japanese prefer warm baths, and very likely this is the reason why their complexions are usually clear, smooth and spotless. The Greeks had a superstition that one who had had his oars licked by serpents would over after have the gift of prophecy. This superstition arose from the fact that Cassandra and Helonus, both of whom were said to foretell events, had their ears licked by serpents while sleeping in the temple of Apollo. A specimen of bread from the famine districts in Russia, as supplied by tho gftvernment.was recently analyzed and found to contain 10 per cent, and probably more, of woody fiber, husks, leafy matter, silicia and sand. It was of a) dirty brown color, like coarse peat, and many people failed to recognize it as bread. A ' modern compilation of engineering maxims states that a hor.se can drag, as compared with what' ho can carry on his back, in tlie following proportions: On tho worst earthen road, three times; on a good macadamized road, nine; on plank, twenty- five; on a stone trackway, thirty-three, and on a good railway fifty-four times as iuuuh. Caviar, which is made from tho eggs of sturgeon, is an important article of exportation for many cities of Russia and Astrakhan,and principally Tagau- rock. Tho annual amount is estimated at 4,0,000 pounds (one pound is equal to thirty-live pounds). Tho greater part goes to Turkey, Greece, Italy and Germany, very little to England, and still loss to France. An expert who claims to "speak whereof ho knows," asserts that wine is a good investment, taking tho chances of thirsty mobs and earthquakes and a revolution in public opinion all over tho world. A good port of 1815 sold in 1859 for $175 per dozen. Tokay laid down in 1800 sold in 1850 for $180 per do/on, and that must be considered as paying a fair interest on their cost and keep. Carp are known to bo hard to kill, but one sent to Pendleton from Portland, Ore., tho other day beats tho record. It had traveled all the way from Portland on ice and there were bruises on its head, showing that an attempt had been made there to take its life, but when the box was opened this "fresh lish" was found to bo moving around as though accustomed to such trifles. The buttresses of "Trajan's Bridge," Which are still to be .seen on the Daii- . ubo, are tho remains olf, what was, iu [some respects, the most remarkabl structure ever erected by man. I was not a mere floating bridge of large boats and massive timbers, but was a permanent structure carried on pier 150 feet high and sixty feet wide, com prising twenty arches, extending alto gether 4,470 Roman feet. Medical authorities declare that fat people are less able to resist the at tacks of disease or the shocks of in juries and operations than the moderately thin. Their respiratory muscles cannot so easily act; their* heart is often handicappe'd by the deposit or it, and the least exertion throws them into a perspiration. A very fat person is in the position of a man carrying a heavy burden and too warmly clothed The Canadian census takers hat trouble with their Indians. The Indians are described as being, not unnaturally, very curious to know, what the census was for. -At one place they would demand to be paid for giving their names, and at another tlie enumerators had to bribe them with tobacco before they would tell the names of children and others who were out hunting or berrying in the woods. A reason given for the use of the third as the ring linger by some authorities is that in the early Christian marriage ceremonies the bridegroom, taking the ring, put it first on the bride's thumb, artel then successively on the first and second lingers, pro"- nouncing in each case the name of one person of the trinity immediately after the words, "With this ring I time wed" -namely, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, until, with the final "Amen," the third finger was reached, and there tlie wedding ring was suffered to remain. "THE DIAMOND DUKE," He Is tlio Innocent Cituse of Sercral Interesting Moral Inflections. The squire was reading the newspaper in the chimney corner. In. it Was a paragraph stating that a nobleman had just died in Paris who was spoken of as the "Diamond Duke." This eccentric nobleman had converted most of his wealth into diamonds and other equally useless property, and for years devoted most of his'care and thought to guarding them. He constructed a house like a fortress. The most of his stones were kept iu small iron chests in fireproof vaults in its cellars. The most valuable of the diamonds were placed in a- small casket, in the wall at the head' of his bed, and when he touched a button descended into a well a hundred 1'oet deep. When he was younger it was said that the duke frequently appeared at the opera wearing his rarest diamonds, and guarded by a policeman. Biit in his later years he seldom took, them from their hiding-places, and feared to trust even tlie police. "He was mad!" said the squire, laying down the paper. "T/> invest all his money in shining stones that bring in no interest! And to spend his lift- in worrying lest they should be stolen! Now he's dead, and what good do his shiny stones do him, eh?" , .: The squire presently laid down his paper and left the room. His old neighbor, who had listened to his.e.ni- phatic condemnation ,'bf the duke, shook his head as he loo"kocl after him. "I don't see that the duke was. .any madder than the squire. Ho ha.s. been saving and scrimping for years.'to'buy land, hoping it will rise in value. He doesn't till it. It's of no good to anybody, and he spends his time watching the papers in hopes of a boom. He has neither chick nor child 1 to leave.it to, and 'Some day he'll die, and it will go to some relation that he never saw!" Susy Hobbs, a : , bright-eyed schoolgirl, listened to her uncle; but sail nothing. If tho squire was mad, what was her uncle? Ho had .had for year'b a frantic ambition to hold ollice in the small city in which he lived. 'He wanted to bo mayor, and had incessantly worked and schemed and neglected his business 'to gain that 'empty honor. "And suppose he should die like tht diamond duke?" thought Susy. "Wlial would the ollice bo worth to him then? How men do waste their money and strength!" Meanwhile Susy', who had no money, but whose capital was healthy youth and time, spent all of ho'r mornings in making tidies and embroidery which nobody cared to keep, and the rest of tho day in reading vapid novels, or in sloop. The madness of the diamond duke is not a rare ailment, moralizes the Youth's Companion, nor confined to any country or class. -It has its counterparts varied in degree and character, in almost every human life. Determined to Be Naughty. A certain kindergarten, says the Boston Transcript, is blessed with the attendance of a very original youth named Richard, He is a very honest little boy, and highly respected by his parents, but tho other afternoon when he came homo he acknowledged frankly to his mother that a punishment had boon inflicted upon him at the kindergarten, "Why, what have you done?" "Well, you see," ho answered, "Johnny and I got tired of being good, and we made up our minds that wo would just get our heads together and holler out tho very naughtiest word we could think of, both together!" Tho mother was inexpressibly shocked Johnny was another very nice and well-bred, boy. But she managed to ask: "Well, what did you say?" "We just screamed out 'Bedbug!' as loud as we could!" Probably, says the Transcript, this tragic episode has never had its duplicate in tho history of kiiulergarteniiig. SHE EARNED A Determined kittle Woman t^ho W<ml to th* •theater bnt Didn't Jbtiafth. "Yes," said the little shf>pwoman smoothing down the black alpaca apron that covered a well-worn, black bombazine dress. "Yes, f.went to tht: theater once, arid I earned) |25 by doing it, too. _fj "You see I was born an& brought up right here in Greenwich /village. Aly folks was all Dutch Reformed and dreadful strict.and my mother thought it was an awful sin td'go to the theater. "•<"My -husband was..different, He was younger and gayer, and'fie was always beggin' me to go to the'tb'eater or the opera with .hirn, until. att.last. Washington's birthday, he''came in and said: ' . / . •< "'Now, see hero. ; There's, a-goin' to be a big minstrel' show herd to-night" and I want you"-to go. I kno\V< you'll" laugh yourself sick.. 1 K '"O, no, I wouldiiV I s'ays. ' ' "'Yes, you would,' he says. 'You couldn't help it. I'll give you $2q if you'll sit througli the show without langhin'.' '"Do you.mean it?' I says. "'I mean it,' he say's. ' olf. win First tramp—"What's th' matter wid Mike? Ho looks as it" life wasn't wort' liviii 1 ." Second tramp--"That'd just how he feels. Ya mind t\v$ days asro a poor man fainted in front o' tliat bi" housu over yonder, an' th' kind hrtly rushed out wul a bottle o' brandy to restore'ini?" "Jniiml." "Wull, Mike he tried th' fainlin' racket there this moniin', an' ih' ole lady rushed out th' same as before. But when she seed Mike she said, 'Poor feller, his pores is all stopped up su he can't breathe,' says she, an' then siie turned l.ii' hose on 'iiu —X. Y ll'iv:/..,'i/ says 'Then I'll go,' I .says, -and I'll get that $25, too.' , ; ,.. "He laughed; and I knew he thought he was pretty safe not to lose th6 money. We..,was., real well.pfi th,en, and I never used'to suppose I'd have to keep a thread'and needle shop for "a living ,. .,. .. ; •., "Well, the evenin 1 came and we went to the show, and I do say it was the funniest.ijhingl eiyer.see. I thought I'd die. 1'wanti'il to laugh so,but every time 1 felt:likc smilih 5 fd think"bf that $25 and,'.pull my face straight in a .hurry. My husbajhd, .kept lookin' at me whenever they 'got off "the best jokes, .as if. to..say: 'Well, surely you'll laliigh at that,.', but there I sat as solemn us a judge/"' .-,,^ _ "Towards thet/u'dof the time he got kind of uneasy n.bout his ,money, and he'd point out,the jokes and nudge me with his elbow, but thro'u'gh it all I never laughed once. I thought of all the bad and dreadful tliin;rs~ I'd ever hpard of." , :ii , ; "And when-we got.out he says: r<"Wcll, I'll keep my word and you shall have , the money, but I never would have' believed you could have done it, nefer! 1 "So I earned my $£5. but it was the hardest night's work,,ever I did, and I wouldn't have donel.it again for twice as much."—A T . Y. Jtccordcr. Stood on Her Rights. A conductor on the Iron Mountain & Southern railroad told the following incident to a St.'. Louis Republic man: We were whirling along the other clay .'through the granite hills of Wayne colinty, behind.-lime and running at a furious rate,,when tlie engineer caught sight of an old woman sl#wly potter- ng ahead on "the track. Instantly the whistle was blown. No heed, however, was taken of it. Thinking the ,-enerable dame would get out of danger in due time, the speed was not slackonedi though the screaming of the whistle made the hills ring. Yet still the, old woman kept slowly on, turning her head neither to the right nor to the left until the engine was almost upon her. Then the brakes ivere put on with a will and the train was stopped just in time to save her ify. 'What the devil is the matter wjth you?' asked the engineer as he pped oir and took the ancient dame jy 'the shoulders, 'Guess you needn't cream so. You have made fuss enough already,' was the caustic reply. -You ieard the whistle, then?' ''Surtinly. han't,deaf.' 'Then, why in thunder lidn't you get oil the track?' 'You han't got no right to run over folks as I knows on ana it's your business to stop when you see them walking on the track!' The swearing of the army in Flanders was nothing compared to that.of the engineer as he pushed her aside, sprang upon tlie machine, and set it going again to the tnhe of forty miles an hour." • EPISODE ON A STREET CAR. liiijoyed the" boy jttmped off, called his do, •wffd the twtf'went trotting down th •.street. ~r,' * The passengers roared; the ma knocked the ashes off his cigar wit his little,-finger and smiled-, the con ductor 'glared at him for an. instant chewed tip the rest of hi? .«ontence am jumped ,V:xck to his post, grouiing "Blast if'iVioi, anyhinv." •., ... A M.Kliirn liove Story. Marjorie—"At the time, I remember I thofight you were very foolish to take a course in the business college anc spend^all your tim'e over book-keepinj and stenography and typewriting, bu now {hat .you' are really not mimg.to marry I see it was the best thing'for yoil'after all." -Madge—"Yes.,- indeed f my dear. Father is getting old am .can do little work, so I can't be de "ipeddont on him any longer. If •Wasn't for losing Charlie I would be the happiest girl in the world, forthere ;is no greater pleasure than the know! ledge that one is earning her own living." Marjoric — "But what about jCharlic? Did you quarrel?" Madge— ."Why. no; we still love each other. But, you see, he lost his job, and as he bouldirt support a wife thi> cnghge- ment had to be broken. If it hadn't been for my business education I don't see what 1 should have clone. It's a mystery tome how girls in" similar circumstances mana'ged to exist year ago before there were so many occupations open for women. • A 'girl who lives in this century has more to be thankful for than she- imagines. Marjorie—"But you haven't told me why Charlie lost his .job." Al.-i'.lgs Well, you sec, his employer was a very close man, and when he saw he could get me to do the same work for half the money, why, Charlie had to. go."— N. Y. Evening Unit.. SHE PREFERRED BURGLARS. It Was Only a Cat, but Only Her Hugbund Knew It. The Laugh on the Conductor anc] by All the I'assengers. a There was a man and a boy and „ dog. The man was waiting fo*r a ear. So was the boy- So w.as the clog. When the car came they all took the roar platform and stood there. In a few minutes the conductor came out, collected two fares and tinkled the bell twice. He noticed the dog, and turning to the man said: "Dogs are against the rules." The man was deeply interested in the white film of smoke which coiled upward from -the end of his cigar and did not hoar, so tho conductor touched him .on tho elbow: "Dogs are not* allowed to ride on street cars, I said." "Did you, indeed? Ah! and do the dogs mind it much, I wonder?" The two high school girls tittered, and the boy shot a wad of paper at a passing vehicle. The conductor looked black and growled: • "Please- put that dog oil, will you?" "Will I? Well, not if tho court knows herself." "Well, J will, then," and he shoved the dog oil the platform, slammed the door and went forward. Tho man smiled, the boy whistled, tho dog jumped back again and the high school girls tittered a little moro. In a few minuti»s tho conductor came out again and he looked ugly. | "Now, look here, my friend," ho said, I want you to understand that I want you to put oil that dog and keep 1 • 11* ii O I him oil." "All right, I understand." "Well, do it then." "Oh, no; not this evening. Bill! Tho dog yelped and landed half way across tho street. "Now, Mr. Man, tho next time I have to put that clog off this car I'll lire you after him," and ho went forward and jerked the bell-rope, savstho Omaha Ilee. Tho man still watched the curling smoke, tho boy whistled again, the clog jumped back on tho platform, and tho passengers smiled and nudged each other. At tho next crossing tho conductor burst out on tho platform with tho snort of a war horse: "See here, smarty——,'-' but just then It was 3 o'clock in the morning when Mrs. Higinbotham shook her husband, says the Detroit Free Press. "Ugh," he responded, unconsciously. "Hiram! Hiyarn!" she exclaimed, in a whisper. "U—ugh," he observed. She gave him another shake. "Hiram," she whispered, "there's robbers down stairs." "Ugh?" ho ventured again, this time with a rising inflection, indicating that he was gradually absorbing the idea that something was wrong. She gave him a tremoncTous shake. "Ugh," he almost shouted, sitting straight up, "where in thunder is the row, Maria?" She clasped her hand over his mouth. "Sh—sh—," she whispered, "there's burglars down stairs." "Aw," he growled, "we ought to be thankful they are not upstairs. Go to.-sleep!" and he fell back to the pillow. •."Hiram, I tell you," she insisted, with another shake "there's burglars downstairs. I hoard them. You go down an.I see what they want." "Maria," he protested, "I'll do nothing of the sort. If they don't see what they want they can ask for it. That's business." "But you shall go down, Hiram, and see," she urged and pleaded at the same time. "I won't, I tell you, Maria. Because your father owns a drygoods store is no sign that I believe it is no trouble to show goods, and I repeat, madam, if those burglars want anything they've got to wait on themselves. It's after business hours, anyway. You must think we run an all night place. Go to sleep. I tell you." Mrs. Higinbotham gave a sudden clutch at his arm. "There," she nearly screamed, "I hear them coming upstairs now." "Well, clear," he said soothingly, "you'd bettor jump up and put on a dress. It will never do in tho world for you to receive strange gentlemen in your present attire." "We'll be murdered iu our bed," she wailed. "Do you really think you will?" he inquired, with some interest. "I'm sure of it, Hiram," she sobbed. "Suppose you get out and lie on the floor, Maria, and then you won't be," he suggested, heartlessly. "I'm willin 0 to take mine right here in bed, whore it's warm." Mrs. H. began to cry. "What's the matter, Maria?" Mr. H. uskecl, as if he had just that moment discovered her grief. "You're a moan, horrid man, Hiram Higinbotham," she said in her natural voice, and she began to got out of bed, "Where are you going, Maria?" he inquired, uneasily. "Down stairs," she answered, heroically. "As between you upstairs and the burglars downstairs I prefer the burglars," and down stairs she went, and tho black cat in tho preserve closet upset four jars of her finest quinces iu its mad ell'orts to escape. Sho screamed, but Hiram Higinbotham made no sign. Ho know" he had forgotten to put the cat in tho cellar when he shut the house up for the night and reported to his wife that everything was all right. An Anecdote of Kossetti. Anecdotes of Rossetti are just now "m the air," says tho Pall Mall JJudget Hero is one. Ho went ono day for a stroll through the poorer quarters of the town, and was greatly attracted by tho shops in Seven Dials. Outside one he saw in a cage a curious round ball of spikes. "What is the price of that?" "Half a crown." "Could you got me sfimo more of them?" Certainly." "Well, l c t me have twenty tomorrow evening." The retail dealer, whose stock consisted of a few linnets, a chaHinch or two, and foursla""crin<*' larks, looked aghast. Said hislrieni? on the way home: "What on earth did you want of all those hed"-eho..-s?" "I'll pill them in my garden," "aid Ros- setli, "and when follows come to see my pictures they'll pass through the gardoii. 'Look at this little "round ball, 1 one of them will say: 'why, it's al've. And here's another! and hero's n third! Why. the garden is full of them.' And then they'll bo iu such good spirits at the discovery that they'll buy my pictures." THERE'S A MORAL IN THIS. ;, It is a Stoty of Real life, and Show* Why tlie Drummer "Swore Oft*." "No," said the old drummer, fiercely, according to the Detroit Free Press, "1 play no games of cliance any more, not even the simplest kind for money." "Won't you pitch pennies?" persisted his companion. •• - . "That least of all," he said, 1 visibly- affectedi ''" . "Why not?" asked the other. •.. : "Do you see this' 1 'dollar?*'Hi! said; taking a cart-wheel fr>m his pocket. "Well, thereby hangs .t tale. Listen! Ten years ago" I was, and had been for live years, traveling for a big diamond-; importing house in New York, and as usual I carried with me a large num-, ber of gems, often having as much as ISO.OOO worth. One day "four of us all- in the same line met in Denver, arid that evening we were drinking and matching dollars in my room. It was a hobby of mine, as it was one of the other men, Frank II , who was as inveterate a matcher as ever the late John T. Raymond was. Well, we drank and matched, and kept at it until We began to toss up at $5 a toss, and the other two soon backed out and watched us. 1 guess wo were both pretty drunk, for before I knew it, we had made a pot of a hundred dollars and were tossing best two in three for it. I lost, and lost again, and then, having no more money, I put up a diamond against his pile. I lost that, too, and then put up two against his money and what had been my diamond, and that time 1 won. I think we were both half-crazy now, for Frank pulled out one of the pocketbooks from the inside of his vest and laid it open on the table and asked me angrily if I dared to match it. Of course I lared, and I dared more. I put down beside it all mine, valued at foO.OUO, and he emptied his other vest pocket to an equal amount. Our two friends tried to stop us, but we were wild and would listen to nothing. Frank threw first and I called 'tails.' It came heads.' It made me shiver. Then I threw 'heads' and he called 'tails,' and were even. I don't know how I 'elt as he picked up the dollar, and I ooked at those glittering gems, for I lon't know anything clearly, though I lad a vague idea that somebody would je ruined for ever on the next throw. .•Yank tossed the dollar to the ceiling aid I called 'heads.' It struck the loor and rolled over toward tho register. All four of us made a rush for it, and Frank fell headlong. The dollar lad dropped through the grating and and was lying on the closed shutters of he register just below. "'Get a match,' 1 almost shrieked. "1 stepped back and my foot struck Trank. He did not move. I bent lown and shook him. He was still. I irieil to cry out, but could not. The ithur two men caught hold of him ,hen and turned him over. His face vas blue and the blood was gushing rorn his mouth. He had died in an nstant. The three were sober men in i second, and at once alarmed the lancl- ord and sent for a physician, but he migjlit as well not have e<j.me. He olcl us death had been instantaneous. put my diamonds iu my pocket and ook care of Frank's; and the balance if the stakes I divided, taking what I lad put up and setting his aside, and he next morning wo started home vith poor Frank's body." "How about the dollar in the regis- eri 1 " asked the listener. "Who won?" "Oh," said the old drummer with a tart, "I almost forgot that part of it. never thought of that dollar till just leforo we left, and «roing back I fished t out and put it in my pocket, and his is it. It was 'heads!'" "No wonder you don't gamble any nore," exclaimed the listener with a igh of relief. "Let's go and take a rink as a forgetter." "And I don't drink any more either," aid the olcl drummer quietly. IT would wish the case, anyhow replied' Mr. Toombs, "y ou „,„,, .;• i some one else to assist you in "*! rascality.". " " iflUl »Jtt»l At another time a lawyer w«nf 11 him and; asked- what he slioukl cli '' a client in a case to which Mr Tn I had just listened in the --' • ™ "Well," said Toombs, "I : $1,000, but you ought to have' for you did a great many I would not have done." One more example of the vi 0w i i took of the lawyer's duty to the ' munity. Writing to h'is wife Roanoke, his plantation in county,, he saidf ."I was sent fo72 before last to .appear in Lnnibkin ' prosecute-a iii:ln for murder. IA, appeared that the act was eoiiin on account of a violation of the er's marital rights I declined pear against him."— -Sun Argonaut. She Ought, to Know. It was growing dusk. HiswifoWl just returned and with bonnet still poised daintly upon her flaxen otirlj' sat by the fireplace and thoughtfully. I removed her gloves. Her look was' one of placid satisfaction. There wa 8 no suggest ion in her soft, bine eyes of conflicting emotions or carkinu 1 care When her chubby hands had been n. leased she slowly proceeded to divest herself of her wraps. "Edward," she softly remarked "] have been to call on our sick noia-hbof I heard she was confined to her beii and i ran over." Edward showed .by his fond smilo that he considered his wife a perfect angel of mercy to hasten thus prompt. ly to the couch of tho anlTcror. ' "Is she very bad?" he inquired, with an air of deep sympathy. His wife jerked the'pin from her hat. • "I don't know," she rejoined. "Did she look bad?" His wife contorted herself until she could reach her back hair, which she' proceeded to adjust. "I didn't notice." "Was she very weak?" His wife rolled her gloves into a lit. tie ball. "I could n't tell." "What did she say?" His wife pulled herself from hor new spring coat with a visible effort. "I don't remember." Edward was mildly astonished and stared. His wife folded her amis, placed one tiny foot upon the other and leaned luxuriously against ths cushions of the divan. "But, Edward." * "Yes, my love." His wife held a fan above her eyes and the combination of light and shade on her delicate face was very fascinating. "I can just tell yon one thing," she' declared. "Tho pale blue bedroom that woman has bragged about BO much ain't pretty at all." Ho was visibly shocked. "My dear," he expostulated, "you "Well. I guess I know what I'm saying. The furnishings are dreadful cheap. I looked very closely at them ami I ought to know. I went on purpose." And in the look that rested upon her lovely countenance there was no suggestion of conflicting emotion or carl- ing euro.—Detroit Tribune. IN THE BY AND BY, One of the Effects of the Emancipation of Woman. PAID HER TO BE POLITE. Vhat Came of Good Manners In a Prettj Tucoma Stump Clerk. The old saying: "It pays to be po- ite," has been illustrated again in the L'acoma postollice in favor of Miss largarot J. Reese, the stamp clerk, a retty young woman of 21. L. O. Banders, a grizzled, crabbed, one- legged old follow, has a fine farm on \ashon island,uearTacoma. Although he lives the life of a hermit, it is believed that he is rich, for the Vashon fruit lands are among the most productive in the state, and his farm has been under cultivation for a number of years. Ho visits the Taooma olllco every week or two, and he always asks I\ 1 1 C ;L< I? i\nf n 4- n L. I • • i \ she Miss Reese to get his mail, for went to considerable trouble in looking up a Jotter for him once, and ho thinks no one else in tho oilice is to be trusted. .Some months ago, after she had Handed him his mail, ho laid $200 in gold 011 her counter, saying: "That's or you." Before the astonished <rirl had comprehended tho act ho u-as gone. She was so indignant that she wept, and when Landers returned she gave back tho money, tolling him she supposed ho had forgotten if. He was niuch hurt, but late? he left at a local jewelry shop an order for a diamond necklace and earrings for her, and in explanation ho said to the shopkeeper that she was tho only person who had over spoken a kind word to him. I he jewelry was refused also by S^SK^^f^-nottobi; > ciosiro to make her un- gratitudo, for a day or •uped into tho postollice a paper into her hand, that it was something she not return. Miss Reesi° on a and remarked coul deTdftlr • h ° ' lo(ulmont ' toumnt Not LikeJSoino Lawyers. It was man}' years hence and the movement for the en mancipation of woman from the thraldom of ages had been crowned with complete success. Two persons were sitting in tho front parlor. Even in the dim, uncertain light of the coal fire—the supply of coal was not yet exhausted—it was plainly evident that they were a slender girl, and a brawny youth. She was on her knees, with 'clasped hands and tearful eye. He was on a sofa, with downcast mien and many a hot, tumultuous blush. "1 may confess my love," she exclaimed, passionately. His big brown mustache twitched noticeably and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Why so cold?" hotly demanded the kneeling woman. And then acting upon a sudden impulse, she seized his hand and contemplated through blinding tears the cal- louses upon tho muscular palm. "Be mine," she urged. The young man was much distraught and his lower register bass voice trembled when at last he spoke. "It's so sudden," ho faltered and nervously lingered tho hem of M coat. She sighed. "I'Mwin, you must have suspected." "No," he replied, simply. "It is not the place of a man to suspect. It is for us only to await tho asking." In adoration she gazed upon ,the agitated figure before her. Fairly intoxicated with the vision she forgot herself for a moment. With a sudden movement she threw her arms about.;, tho shrinking form of the youth and in a moment would have imprinted a kiss upon tho dewy lips. With a frantic effort ho freed hiffi« self. "You stop," ho fiercely cried, "or I'll scream." "Edwin." "Go away from me." "Do you dismiss mo forever?" "I do. Go." It was many years hence and the movement for the emancipation oj woman from the thraldom of ages had been crowned with complete success.— Detroit Tribune. can "Yes, Aslcin-f for Information. "K:-ow:ii!i<T. ii.'ar," said Mrs. Emei> so.i of j;,islo"n to her husband, "\vlwtJJ a cutaneous pustimoP" "A cutaneous pastime, love? I utn' 6 ' hoard of such a thing." . "Woll, 1 heard two men on the street- ear talking, and one of them SJJCK8 P» U skin game."— Judge. The boiling-water fad at meal? jf.{| ^ing out. SODIO doctors who om mended if say upw tha K

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