The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on June 3, 1891 · Page 6
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The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, June 3, 1891
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. I THE CtTTNESE URBANITY, < CIRCUMLOCUTION THEY DISPLAY IN LETTER WRITING. the Kdncatcd Chlnnm.nn Can Glte the Annrlcntt Point* on Politeness and Bo- flnetnants In the Comlnct of Epistolary Correspondence, It has probably fallen to the lot of most of us to J'-ve met people who, •without the excuse of an unconscious habit, have the knack of asserting unpleasant truths, and who value the ungracious practice as a sign of honesty. There are others, such as the Quakers of bygone days, who regard every expres (rion which may not be in strict accordance with absolute truth as a sin against their consciences. To such people the idea of subscribing themselves "Yours truly," or of beginning a letter to a ' casual acquaintance, "Dear So and So," Mr. w. tt. Posey Has been suffering from a severe attack of jaundice with other troublesome complications. He grew worse and worse until his friends lost all hope of his recovery. His brother, Dr. Posey, was sent for. Indiscretion in diet brought on convulsions, and to all appearances he died. His breathing ceased, his pulse stopped, and his brother turned away and said it was all over. Then Dr. Hill proposed to inject nitroglycerine into his arm. If he was dead it could do no harm. He did so, and in a few minutes the heart began to beat, the Ittngs to respire and the pulse to throb, and he was again a live man. The jaundice is now Under control, and there is every prospect of Mr. Posey's recovery. Of course, the nitro-glycerine could not arrest death under all circumstances. In this cose the cause of death was heart failure, and the powerful medicine restored its action. But for this Mr. Posey would now be a dead man. Those who were present IB abhorrent. But public opinion has been too strong for them, and we continue, and shall continue so long as society holds together, to address one another in terms of endearment and respect which arc not required to correspond with our sentiments. Orientals have surpassed us in this regard as much as the brilliant sunshine to which they are accustomed excels the murky atmosphere of Europe. The descriptions of ourselves and of our correspondents pale before the glowing expressions of objective admiration and subjective self abasement which adorn of eastern epistles. We are content to confine our wishes and compliments to the present life; but such a limit is far too narrow for an Asiatic, who delights in wishing that his friends may live forever and ever, and that the ancestors of his enemies may bo condemned to over- lasting disgrace. We are satisfied to speak of "I" and "You," but an oriental loves to heap adjectives of contempt upon himself and of glorification upon his correspondents. ELEVATING AND DEMEANING SIMILES. In all cases he avoids the uso of the personal pronouns. By a system of circumlocution necessitated by this omission, ho describes himself as "Your younger brother," the character repre- nenting his expression being written • small, and partly at the side of the columns of words, and ho designates himself and others conjointly as "We ants." But the person he is addressing figures as "Your excellency," "My benevolent elder brother," or. "Your honor," literally, "You who are at the steps of the council chamber." His own house is "a mean dwelling," or, as the parts of the character signify, "a stricken and broken dwelling;" but ho is unable to think of his correspondent's habitation as anything but "an honorable,", literally "basket-of-poarls palace." In the same spirit of self abasement he feels obliged to wind up his epistle with the phrase, "Your stupid younger brother, So-and-1 So, bows his head to the ground." The character for "stupid" ia drawn for us by two hieroglyphics, meaning "raon-' key hearted." To bow to his friends is also pictorially expressed by a collocation of "a head" and "turf," suggesting tho act of bowing the head to the earth. If his correspondent proposes to call upon him ho hastens to assure him that "at tho appointed hour, with bowing hands, lie will await the time when his excellency shall abasp himself by driving his chariot to his office." His friend's Jotter is "the revelation of his hand," and he takes pains to make him aware say the effect was wonderful. Dr. Hill used this remedy once before.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Woman's Greatest Danger. The great element of danger with woman's progress before the public lies in this fact: that it takes Women away from homo who ought to be there and nowhere else. Tho public platform is no place for a mother who has either sons or daughters to educate. If woman's progress is going to tend in that direction, then the sooner 'that advancement stops tho better. The first thought a wife or a mother should be; her homo; all things, no matter how important, aro secondary to that. No matter hojv rampart may become certain public evils, let her Bee to it that she keeps the evils out of her home and she performs her greatest duty to her God, her family and mankind.—Edward W. Bok in Ladies' Home Journal. •Long In Sugar Mafcin' Time. liter' feller lias some season that bis feelin l< likes the best, Maybe gammer, maybe winter, that he thinks beats all the rest; But the days that makes my 'Iroopin' spirits Jest git tii> and climb Air the dyin' days n~ winter, 'long In sugar makln' time. then the little birds i* singin 1 , tnnin' np their little throats, Think!n' n> the comln' harvest, uv the corn and wheat and oats, An' the tlnklin uv the sheep bells, with the rlngih' cow bells' chime, In the dyin' days uv winter, 'long in sugar makin' time. Then the little lambs ate playin' an' a-caperin' around, An' the first blue Johnny-jump-nps are a-peep- UV through the ground* An* the thawed ont branch flows happy, kinder Slngln! in a rhyme, In the dyin' days uv winter, 'long in sugar maklh' time. Xver'thing, both dead and livin', twist the earth and sky above, Seems so smilin' an' so pleosin', as if all had fell In love; 80, fur me, this side uv heaven, there can't be no fairer clime Than tho dyin' davs uv winter, 'long in sugar time. —Indianapolis Journal. Incubation by Whotasale. A Ukiah man, tho owner of a three story hop house, recently conceived the idea of turning the building into a mammoth incubator for tho 'hatching of chickens. In a few weeks lie had the place in condition, and the furnace was set to work on a setting of 0,000 eggs. At the expense of a cord and a half of wood between 1,500 and 2,000 chickens were chirping in the hop house at the end of the period of incubation. This is not a very good average for a first class incubator, but it is thought that with the exercise of more care better results can be obtained. The Ukiah man has given evidence of his faith in the practicability of the scheme by setting a second hatch of 24,000 eggs.—Petaluma Imprint. had chanted" its contents. On expressions of thanks particular emphasis is laid by tho Chinese, and with truo Oriental instinct, in their effort after hyperbole, they are accustomed to jjive a physical interpretation to their mental feelings, 1 POWERFUL HYPERBOLE, For instance, a correspondent who wishes to say that he is profoundly grateful, writes, "Your kindness is very deeply •engraved and cnveiued in my heart." If he hears of the illness of a friend "he cannot help being hung up in suspense," .and the symbol he uses shows to tho eyes the heart of the writer tied up, whtto at the same tkno ho urges him "to take care of his person as a pearl." And on the receipt of better news he breaks out, "How shall I bear the joy and pleasure!" Having finished expressing tho object of his letter, ho winds up by "availing himself of tho opportunity to wish his correspondent till the blessings of the season, and," if bo is on the road to honor, "all tha promotion ho deserves." ' But, if not ferocious, a sufficient latitude still remains to n Chinaman for the development of much plain speaking. It is as possible to "slit the thin spun life" with a stiletto as with u broadsword, and in the most finished periods a Chinaman finds himself quite able to express either withering contempt or remorseless hate. But he has other ways also of giving vent to his ill humors. The very punctilious rules of letter writing enable him to convey his ilisliko by omission as well US by commission. Chinese is, it may bo explained, written in vortical columns, beginning on (.lie top right hand corner of the page. In ordinary circumstances each column is completed to the bottom of tho page; but Ion;,' usage has established the custom that, if the name or attributes of the person addressed occurs, tho column is cut short, ami tho characters representing *'"'" '-••<- •» i lollol . bofjiu tho next All on Account of a Pig. Tho Society for tho Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, which has lately assumed the management of the public pound, and John Partridge, who is the officiating poundkeeper of this city and county, are in trouble. It is all over a pig—the pet of a man who walks the streets followed by the .animal, which wears a blanket and tamely answers its master's call whenever it is given. Neither the pig nor the man apparently knows that they are the subject of a much mixed controversy, but such is the case. Questions concerning that pig are pouring into the office of the poundkeeper and the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals daily and are becoming more complicated as the time goes on. Here are some of them: If a pig assumes the manners and privileges of a dog is it not also compelled to take upon itself the same responsibilities the dog has to carry? Why is this pig not regularly registered and licensed, and why does it not have a tag attached to its collar, which puts it on an equal footing with a dog? What right has this pig to the freedom of the city? What legal standing has this pig in case it gets itself into any trouble? What is the difference between a dog and a pig from a legal point of view? How can a man take out a dog license for a pig, and would not a pig traveling with such a permit be liable to be arrested for false pretenses? If Mr. Partridge or his deputies seize this pig for not being licensed, will not its owner have a good cause of action for They Wanted to Open Accounts. A man hastily entered a La Salle street bank recently and, approaching a teller's window, carelessly threw down a check with the remark, "I would like to deposit that; please credit the amount to my account." The teller glanced at the check and winked very hard and vigorously to convince himself that his eyes were still all right. The bit of paper called for $403,000, and bore the signature of one of the most powerful syndicates in this country. It was accepted without (i word, and the depositor left the bank withiu one minute of the time he entered it. A few weeks ago a middle aged woman, carrying a small sachel, entered a down town bank and said to a teller that she would like to make a deposit. "We can't open an account with you," said the young man behind the window, Sunless you make some arrangement with the cashier personally. 1 can give you a certificate of deposit, however." "Very well," quietly remarked the visitor', "I don't want to be bothered to carry this about town, and the certificate will do very well until I can find some institution that will open an account with me." The expectant young man opened his certificate blank book and clipped his pen in the inkwell before him. The Bachel was opened and from it came— not a black purse or a few dollars tied into a knot in a handkerchief corner- but United States bonds, the face value of which aggregated more than $248,000. The certificate was not filled out. An account was opened.—Chicago MaiL Death from a Cat, The people of South Englewood are on a still hunt after the cats in the neigh-1 borhood of that village, and one large Maltese in particular is doomed to an untimely end. That animal, the proper- jy of Bernard Schram and his wife, killed their five months old child Saturday night, and half the residents of the village believe the Mine sucked the infant's breath from its body. TheSchrams reside on Vincennes road, between Eighty-seventh and Eighty-ninth streets. They retired at the usual hour Saturday night, leaving the baby in the cradle at their bedside. They were awakened during the night by the child's labored breathing, followed by a piteous, stifled moan. As Mr. Sohram arose and struck a light the large house cat leaped from the cradle and escaped through the door. The infant was lying still, with its little hand clenched and its face blue from suffocation. Dr. Tallman was hastily summoned, but pronounced the child dead. He said that suffocation was the cause, and that the cat, attracted by the warmth of the child's body, probably lay down on tho baby's face and smothered it.— Chicago Times. suit against the city county? Such are the knotty problems Mr. Partridge has to wrestle with, and it is because he doesn't know any solution of them that his nights are either sleepless or troubled with dreams, in which he sees pooplo with every kind of animal from au elephant to a mouse following them about the streets as pets.—San Francisco Chronicle. Points for Travolors. Here are some facts that prospective visitors to Europe this summer will find it handy to cut out and treasure up for the time at sea when they want to appear well booked as old tourists on matters of transatlantic travel. The first steamship that crossed tho Atlantic was the Savannah, in 1819, in twenty-five days, ami tho first regular line established was tho British and American Eoyal Mail and Steam Packet company, in 1840. A knot is 0,080 foot Ions?. The distance from Now York to Liverpool is 8,004 nautical miles by tha northern track and 8,139 miles by tho southern track. From Liverpool to New Murder Will Ont. Ten years ago an old timer, named Tom Poole, who, with his two children, lived on a farm between Pemberton meadows and Lillooet lakes, was found \ murdered. The bodies of the children, horribly mutilated, lay across the father's corpse in the cellar of the house, which had beeq burned over their heads after the horrible buwhery. Suspicion rested on a neighbor named Graham, who was last seen near the ranch. He was arrested and tried in New Westminster for the crime, being afterward acquitted. The provincial government offered a reward for the capture of the murderer, and there the case dropped and public interest gradually died out. Within the past few months certain discoveries have been made which go to show that Graham was really innocent, and the real murderer is an Indian chief named Nemiah, who, two years ago, murdered a Chinaman on tho Frazer river, and has since been evading tho authorities. About two weeks ago Nemiah quarreled with another Indian in his baud, | and the hands of the chief were almost I stained with the blood of his third vie• tim. Other Indians present seized and bound him, and immediately sent a message to B. Franklin, justice of tho peace at Tatlae Lake, that they had got Nemiah and wanted tho authorities to come up and take lu'm. On receipt of this information Franklin, accompanied by a these tho distance aro respectively 8 039 and ' 1)OSSU of 8 P eciul constables, left iminedi- !) miles. In estimatin" records the i ate1 ?' only to find on arriving at their 8, 1U! ^ , , ^ — «,»v./ »Litii..i3, m uoviiiLtlvillii JtJUOiUS tile — ^— — -•-—-• column at an elevation of the space of points taken on either side are g. m a v destination that their bird hail flown, one or two characters, as tho case may ll oo k ami Dauut's Rock, Queenstowu Nemiah's squaw had cut the ropes that be, above the general level of the text, j harbor. Tho first light sighted on tho bonncl him while the others were aslee P- It will now be seen what a ready weapon British coast is the Bull, Cow and "" " " hen to ihohana at a Chinese letter writer.! Ireland. ,m,l n,, «,« Am»r^,^ Jo write "Your Excellency" or the name of tho correspondent's country or sover- egn in the body of tho column is to iu- anil on the American either Nantuoket or Fire Island. The largest passenger steamship in commission is the City of Paris, 10,440 Making good use of his liberty Neiniuh took to tho "stick," where ho is supposed tp bo at present. The party found that tho Indian Guishou, with whom Nomiah had the quarrel, was not dangerously in- Bcores of men (nas to use His lingers twice over and more, too, you see) who are fond of them and know how to cook them. At one certain country house in Lewiston the Sunday mushroom dinner is a fixed thing in summer, and my! aren't they deliciousl The old rule for distinguishing them from toadstools—viz., eat them, and if you die they are toadstools —is not now operative. It's a poor miishroom gatherer who does not know the difference. The top of the young mushroom is white, the under portion loose and lighter. As it matures the top changes to a brown color and the under part to a dark red. The stem, which is white and round when young, also grows dark with age. Eatnbl* mushrooms have pleasant odor and are never slimy. A test proposed is to sprinkle salt on the under side or spongy part and give it time to act. If it turns black the mushroom is good; if yellow, the toadstool is poisonous.—Lewiston Journal. NOBCCY CARES! A WOMAN'S LOVE SONG. A wearily wan little lace, A feeble, forlorn little smile, Poor faltering feet, That must pace their boat For many nnd many a mile— A star stealing out in the dusk, A lamp that luridly flares, In the wide city's whirl Jutt a nameless girl- Nobody caresl A desolate, dcnrth stricken room, A pillow pushed up to the wall, A flicker that shows A I'aco In repose, Silence, and that is all, Save just on the woebegone cheek That iook which such raptness wears, That light on tho brow— Ah, who shall say now, "Nobody cares?" —Cornhill JIagazlno. Ho Traveled with tho Lions. "I had an interesting experience," said Mr. George Boniface, Jr. "I happened to be passing one of the dime museums when I noticed a large placard announcing the appearance of the elastic skin man. Having never seen this curiosity I bought a ticket and entered the museum. 1 was startled by the resemblance which the elastic skin man bore to some one I had seen. I could not recall the name, but the resemblance haunted me like a dim ghost that had come out of long ago. While I stood wondering the reporter for a local paper came up to interview the elastic skin man, and I heard the elastic skin man say: 'My name is D. B. Hodges. In 1837 I was agent for Rumsey & Newcomb's minstrels. Since then I have been idle.' "In a few moments," continued Mr. Boniface, "who should come along but Arthur Cambridge, Charley Griste and ™ any P uWlsh ers of this time. Gus Pennoyer. They shook hands with \ United States ^the " the elastic skin man and began talking ' manv of over old times. ' j " 'Let's see, Charley,' asked the elastic skin man, 'what show were you travel-1 ing with when I first met you?' " 'Upon my word, I don't remember,'!, ,. „ ,_ -~— said Mr. Griste. 'The first show I ever' to dls P° se finally of his enormous prop- traveled with was a den of performing ?rty,a«dn£onthisrealizeaabout$500,<)00 lions, run by-well, now, it's curim* ™ ^sh.-Eugene Field in Chicago News, that I can't recall the name I' With jubilant, merry laughter and ringing fcnd joyous song, Oiie came, and my life thereafter grew strangely brave and strong. And yet It was but the ringing of lovb's Sweet challenge bell, And the sound of his low voice singing the call that he knows so well. the sky, with its sunlight golden, bent down to the azure sea, When the music, sweet and olden, was of my soul made free. And bright as the blossoms freighting the orchard's shaded waj-s Was the radiant glory waiting my path through the summer days. The face of my love is tender, the voice of my love is sweet, And his soul to mine will render the measure love should mete. Though rough Is the garb he is wearing, and hard with toil his hand, The road where his steps are faring for me Is best In the land. I know that life's stormy places are many, and yet 1 know The light of its heavenly spaces will follow mo where I shall go: For like to the ivy clinging about the crumbling ' wall Is the clasp of love swift springing to answer a lover's calL And out from the surging masses of earth's manhood came my knight To where, amid blossoms and grasses, I stood in the morning light; Stood watching for one whose loving would bring to my waiting life The glory and gladness proving how regal the namo of wife. And now in the radiant weather, aglow with beautv and light, We face life's pathway together, and give no thought to the night. —Montreal Star. A Famous Hook Publisher. The widow of the famous old publisher Henry G. Bohn has just died. She was 89 years of age. She was the daughter of William Simpkin, founder of the house of Sinipkin & Marshall. The marriage with Bohn served as an indissoluble link between two mighty factors in the English book trade. Bohn started in business with $5,000, and shortly thereafter he borrowed $5,000 from a friend who had every confidence in Ins integrity and sagacity. He began as a second hand bookseller, but soon engaged in publication, talcing up what is called the "remainder" trade and devoting all his energy to it. Presently, however, he devised his scheme for publishing "libraries," such as the Standard, Classic, Scientific, Illustrated, etc., and this he conducted so conscientiously and well as to achieve success speedily. His example has been imitated by In the Harpers reprinted - - i ago, particularly those translations of the classics used in colleges and academies as "ponies." The whole number of volumes included in these libraries eventually exceeded 600. In 1864 Bohn began Amburgh?' asked the "'Was it Van elastic skin man. " 'Bless your heart, no,' said Mr. Griste. 'Why he taught Van Arnburgh ton8) hooks and etc> the business. Funny I can't think of his name. He was a great friend of old Bill Coup's—oh, yes, now I recall the name; it was Daniel!'"—Eugene Field in Chicago News. Wlioro Nobody Starves. Within a hundred miles of the east coast of Australia no native in an uncrip- pled condition has ever died from lack of A Serviceable Present. Among the pretty and sensible articles that may be fashioned for Christmas at little cost is a set of drawers for but- Six small paper boxes with drawers are used for them. Tinted boxes covered with moire paper are the prettiest, and they may be bought for a trifle. The boxes should be about two and a half inches long and one and one-half inches wide and an inch deep; the exact size used is immaterial. The boxes are fastened together in two tiers of three drawers each, and then the two sets of .drawers are fastened ^J™«~i,'U1« C 1 il , liIlBIl LUB l/WUBBl/KOr U digestible food—a rather comprehensive to ,, PT i lpr R1 - f1p hv R :, 1 ' form in n. ^rmnf™ n^c.™ *»,„ „„„(.„ ..„„ wgetner side by side. term in a country where fern roots are boiled like potatoes, and snails and grasshoppers are considered tidbits. Strange to say, the martyrs of that horrid diet get old, as a proof that freedom from care is, after all, the main condition of longevity. A similar phenomenon may be observed in the villages of Central Russia, where mental stagnation prevails in its ugliest forms, but where charity and parish poor laws protect every native from the risk of actual starvation. — Professor Oswald in Good Words. For handles one box has a shoe button • sewed stoutly to the middle of the box; one a small nursery pin; the next a hook and eye, and the remaining two boxes ' white buttons of porcelain that are used on underclothing. A ribbon of satin, the'width of the set when fastened together, is passed around the boxes and tied in a pretty bow that covers the top. A little gift of this kind is a most acceptable contribution to any work basket, however dainty, and is more convenient than a button bag.—New York ' Post. A Uutterfly Social. | A "butterfly social" is one of the novel I entertainments for raising funds in char-' itable work. The room is decorated with butterflies of tissue paper, and in the center of the ceiling a huge butterfly of wire and thin silk or paper is suspended, some three feet from 0110 wing tip to the other. The legs of tho insect are of wire, painted black. Those who preside over the affair are dressed to resemble different varieties of butterflies, in blue and silver chiffon, black, brown and yellow velvet, with gauze wings and a butterfly for a headdress.—Exchange. Steel Italia as Pit Props. In consideration of the serious inroads which are being made on the timber of this country by the use of wooden props in mines, it is satisfactory to note that a patent has boen taken out for a method of making steel rails into pit props and supports for collieries, mines, tunnels, bridges, etc. Tho rails are cut at their ends and suitably framed together. In point of cost it is said that this mode of propping compares favorably with bricking and other systems.—New York Commercial Advertiser. What Flowers Cost In Washington. Speaking of Mrs. Morton's flower bills, it will be interesting to know just what flowers cost here. You can find tho finest roses at the capital, and during the season the buds will cost you from 50 cents to $1.50 apiece. Jacqueminot roses always sell for about $1 at Christmas time. Marechal Niels bring 60 cents a bud, and La France roses aro about the same. Lilies of the valley are about $1 a dozen. Tea roses bring about 25 cents a bud, and violets bring from $1 to $3 per hundred. Pinks are worth 50 cents a dozen, and smilax sells for 85 cents a yard. You can get a very pretty basket of flowers for $5, but if you want something very fine it may cost you as high as $75. It is a very poor bouquet which is not worth $3, and 1 have seen single bouquets which sold as high as $50.— Washington Letter, Mrs. Armour's Accomplishments. Of all the rich women of America Mrs. Philip D. Armour, of Chicago, is the housekeeper par excellence. She is a complete mistress of all that tends to make home best, most beautiful and most attractive. She is particularly well versed in the art of cooking, and many of her leisure moments are devoted to originating and preparing choice dishes. Mrs. Armour's recipes are famous among her friends for their never failing excellence, and a-o in great demand among Aftur Deutli. There has just occurred in the city of Spartansburg, 8. U., one of tho most remarkable oast's of rwoYory, in which a well known citizen has \>w.u snatched from the very grasp «r death. A special from that citv SAVB.:. For sovoml jamship is tho Teutonic, 5(55 feet. The greatest day's run record is 515 miles. A big steamship burns about 800 tons of coal u day, and the average expense of a voyage to Liverpool and return is §75,000 for such u vessel. A first class steamship of ouo of the great hues costs nearly $3,000,000. - Philadelphia ' Tho Monlcey mid tho Uoundor, A man walks round n pole, on the top of which is u monkey. As tho man moves the monkey turns round on tho top of the polo so as still to keep face to face with the man. When the man has gone round all the wealthy young matrons of herac- the pole, has he, or has ho not, gone; quaintaiice.—Chicago News, round the monkey? As either answer to this question may be upheld with strong and logical nrgu- the reader is left to decide the for himself.—New York Trib- Mushroom Lore. A local expert proposes to make mushroom hunting a specialty this summer, and he is certain that if there is any section of Maine where there are lovers of this fungus it is right here iu Lewistou AuAwwi. Oil his finuer he can count An English North country church has published a scale for contributions ex-, h . ere ls to do her bost pected for the collection plate. The' n "-S0 1 church will be content if it receives two pence for every five shillings of income, 9i 8 per cent. A man hi receipt of thirty pounds sterling u week is expected to give a sovereign. A Possible English Ruler. The court and the public generally are regarding Princess Margaret of Prussia, who accompanies her imperial mother to England, with a good deal of curiosity. It is hinted somewhat openly that one object of the Empress Frederick's visit for Albert Victor, Duke°of Clarence, and her daughter, his first cousin, despite the fact that the Prince of Wales' eldest son is undoubtedly in love with his second cousin, Princess May of Teck, and hus apparently his father's permission to continue so. However j tne queen cannot get ote* ' the fact that Princess May is the daughv ter of that Mary of Cambridge of whfifc she was so jealous in the days when the\ late Prince Albert first came a-courtingp- and so, as young Albert Victor has no spirit ot his own, it is not unlikely that the announcement of his engagement with the Princess Margaret will come to • us before the empress has concluded her risit here. Margaret of Prussia seems • ko be a delightful and highly educated young woman, but there is no doubt that she has a will of her own, like hei? imperial mother and royal grandmother. It is equally certain that Albert Victo* is about as sickly and effeminate a specimen of a young man as could be found, even among heirs to thrones. So if ' Margaret becomes queen of England we will still remain under petticoat govern- ' ment.—London Cor. Chicago News. This Avoman Had Nerve. Among the many callers &t the late • residence of General Johnston was a . well dressed woman, who drove np in a handsome equipage and asked to see a representative of the family. She would not give her name, but she told Dr. Ben Johnston, who perceived her, that she wished a lock of General Johnston's hair for her collection. "I have," she said with entire self possession, "a lock of General Lee's hair, a lock of General Grant's and a lock of General Sheridan's, and I would like a lock of General Johnston's." As soon as Dr. Johnston recovered his self possession he told his caller that her remarkable request could not be granted. She left regretfully, not on account her request, but of his refusal.— ington Cor. Boston Herald. The Cowciitoher Carried Off her Colt. A valuable mare and colt escaped from the barnyard of Abiah Hayes, the noted stock raiser, of Cincinnati, recently, just . as a freight train came thundering down toward an adjacent crossing. The colt got in the way of the train and was • caught on the cowcatcher, in despite of the mare's anxious neighing. The long train could not be stopped until it had run the better part of a mile. Then the • colt rolled off unhurt. The mare had wildly leaped culverts and crossing • fences, and was almost up with the en- • gine when her unharmed colt fell safely down the side of the track.—Cor. Philadelphia Record. Best Time to Tone a Piano. Most people let their pianos go until. ' the ear cannot tolerate them, but a piano requires constant attention, and where • the changes of the 'season are marked ought to be tuned at least four times a . year. Where the tuning is occasional and not regular, either the spring after • the fires are extinguished, or the early winter, after they are well under way, is -• the best time for tuning, for then the- piano is least subject to climatic changes. —Interview in Seitttle Telegraph. Poison by Absorption. • — The slow absorption of many poisons < changes in some more or less modified . form the complexion, but arsenic and ammonia show their effect about as quickly as any. The popular belief that arsenic clears the complexion has led many silly women to kill themselves with it in small, continued doses. It produces a waxy, ivorylike appearance of the skin during a certain stage of the poisoning, but its terrible after effects have become too well known to- make it of common use as a cosmetic. The effects of ammonia upon the complexion are directly opposite from that of arsenic. The first symptoms of ammonia poisoning which appeal's among; those who work in ammonia factories is- a discoloration of the skin of the nose and forehead. This gradually extends over the face, until the complexion has a. stained, blotched and unsightly appear- ftnce. With people who take ammonia, into their systems in smaller doses, as- with their water and food, these striking symptoms do not appear so soon. The only effect of the poison that is visible for a time is a general unwholesomeness and sallowness of the complexion,— St. Paul Globe. Tho Notices Are All Right, Visitors to the clerk's office of the superior court who have occasion to us» the writing table that stretches across- the room have been startled recently by- large placards tacked about two feet apart informing whom it may concern that "these inkstands must not be taken away." Since "these inkstands" are about the size of the average hat, and are kept tilled with ink, the warning seems quite as gratuitous as it would be to placard notices to people not to walk off with a red hot stove. A lawyer, who took offense at these notices got one of the office veterans in a corner the other day and asked him if he did not think such a notice was carrying a joke perilously far. The veteran shook his head, and in saddened tones thus answered: "In the mistakes of the past we should seek our guidance for the future."—New York Times, Somewhat Trying, Nevertheless. Do not suppose that a young woman is necessarily in an unamiable frame of mind when you meet her bearing a muddy overshoe in hand. The relief that she experienced when she gave up trying to keep the thing on more than balanced her vexation at spoiling a glove and boot; but oh! the things that women think and don't say when at every step a misfit overshoe drops down at the heel would make a volume for the government to suppress.—Boston Common-' wealth. A Hook for Farmers, The United States department of agriculture has just issued "A Special Report on the Diseases of the Horse," which' consists of 550 pages, including thirty- four pages of plates, among which are some of the finest colored pictures of the horse ever produced in this country. The first edition of 13,000 copies is already exhausted; the second edition, 100,000 copies, will be ready shortly.—Cvwrent Literature.

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