The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa on February 25, 1891 · Page 6
Get access to this page with a Free Trial
Click to view larger version

The Algona Upper Des Moines from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

Publication:
Location:
Algona, Iowa
Issue Date:
Wednesday, February 25, 1891
Page:
Page 6
Cancel
Start Free Trial

Page 6 article text (OCR)

THE/UPPERDESMOINES, ALGOiNA, tOWA, WEDNESDAY, fEBRtAHY26,1891. A Cohnmlrnm of ilio Workshops. VI i -i.flip flush of n nrw liorn FMII fell first, on TC !i ti's pivoti iniil tfolil. On- Kitllirr ArV'tvi SHI.' nihlor ilie TITO nm' "i-ill'olicrl with u <tfli;!c In lire innlil: iAfi'l the liffl III.IP slci idi thai. UK- world lint' so n was joy to Ms miiility lica-l,. WlM.licT)i-vll whlsi'fiwl l>i>iiihil tlio U-n.vps, "II-'K pic-lty, Mil Is II ui-i'r" IVIiufefiiMi lie P.'iMod In tils wife, nnil flr.'il to 1'ilnllloll lll« IVOI'lt II IK'W — The fli-Hl.or Ills I-IIRCI who (Mirrt n llir for (In fllnl, iiiosl .ill-raid 1-t-vli-w: AM IK. lel'l. his |jiro t/i tho IISP of Ills BOHS nivl Mint mm n (rliifloiM i;iiln Wliou tin) Devil chuckled "Is II, lift?" In tlio Mil-of lliu M-iimllid Cillll. Wicy InilMrrt n. trnvr-t- lo fldvpr Ilio sky nntl TVH'liell Illti Plill-H lip i ft, S'lll lliolJcvll fii-iinieii l..-h|ii'l tho bricks: "It's Ah-Miteir, li-il, IK II, tu-lV" Tlio filmic «-ns tic |i|i(i i li.v tlio quarry fltio nml 111" hi It- (Icl-i ic:l< dwiinir, WlilliM-iich iiiini litllu-d oi llioalmsof nrl, anil pucli In an alien tongue. ttlioy Conn-lit, and Ilipy liillipil In Uiti North mid Ilio8onl.il, they lulkt'd mid they t'oiiwhl In Ilio Wosl,, Till Ilio Hitters rose on tho Jitbhei-liitf land,mid Ilio poor ]ti;d Clny liiul rcHl— Und riHl, (III (do dunlc Iilunh cnnvns dnwn wliflii tlin dovo WIIB pi'conod to Hlii ft, \And (lie J'Juvll liiihlilc.'ii in-low tlio kcoi: "Jt's hiiiinui, hut IH II, tiff/" I'liO Into IB lit old na tho Eilon Tree—us now us Ilio now (Mil, tooth— For ouch mini knows oro lit* lip tlinlcli grows ho Is iiiusliir <>l nrl, mid tnil.li: And (.'iiuh nimi henrx MK iho twilight IICHPH, lo ilio liont, of hln il.vliitf lif-ni'i, Tin 1 IH-vll drum on l.liu dnHiunod puno: "Ynn did It, hut WIIH Itiii'ty" >Vfv hnvo Irimicd to ivlilll.ln Mm Kilon TITO to HID Hliiipuof n Biii'iillco pi'tv, wo Imvo loiiriied loliol.ilu our put-onta twain In Kin yolk of mi iiddioi! i-jri! 1 . We know thin, tlio lull IIIIMI wnir Iho don-, us Ilio Imi'Ho Is drawn liv tho ciifl: Out Mm 1)i<vll wlinopx, IIH fin whooped of old: "H'HoloviM 1 , lint laluu-it?" When (lie fllukor ofLondon situ fnllfl faint tho clnh nioin'H (ii-oi'ii mid uold, Tim KOIIH i,t' j\dinn nil. Uieiii diiwn and i-criilul with (.huh- IIOIIH In Iho mold— Tlio.v mrnloli wll.li Ilicli- puiiH 111 tho ImiH n l,li<j|i'Hi'iivi.-H, mid Iho Ink mnl Ilio miKiiN Kiat't >Vlmn tho Uovll innlt"i'H liohlnd Ilio lonvon: "Jt'B prolty, lint, Is It art?" How, Ifworonld win lo HinKilon Tiv.o when Mio Com- urriit I'lviM'H How, And tlio witMitli (il'JCvn IH tod on tlio lui'f ii'i flio loll It lonjr nun, And If wnonnld ootno when tho Bonlry filopl and wjltly soim-y tlu-miHli, By I ho i'ii v.>r off I id wo mlirlit, know na nuioli —n« our fiUJmi-Adiini know. i. — Itudytird Kliilln^- In iho Scot's Oliftm-vc-r. HIS WILL Mrs. Alison sat in her easy chair and tapped her foot, impatiently as she . worked. Mr. Alison paced 'the Hoot •uneasily and frowned darkly. It was evident there was a slorm brewing in ,thc domestic nlmosphoro. Indeed, tho iiriil fa!nl drops of the coming shower -were already paltering down on Ihe dainty dress Mrs. Alison was embroidering for her beloved btibv. "For pity's sake, Mnnd,'" broke forth ihor liege lord, "don't, begin crying. Why can't yon be sensible and look at tholuuitter iu a reasonable way? It ought not to be so hard for you to yield to my wishes, when I 'have good reasons for asking you to do it, he- Bid OS." "f don't know what you call 'good ron-MjiH,-" 1 sobbed Maud Alison. "You don't know the Ictisl thing about Iho Wilverlons, Unit you should wish me to give up attending their ball—such a imiiruilioeut, affair its it's {••oinjr to be, too." "That is the chief of my reasons— "because 1 don't, know anything about the family—neither for' nor again--.!, them. But tho man's face is enough to condemn him. 1 wouldn't trust, him tin inch out of my sight," "You're as unjust as you can be. to say such things about ti stranger of •wit'-'in you know nothing. 1 do be- fliovo you are jealous of him because he wis s ( i iiitoniivo to mo til; Mrs. Fitz- gepild's party. ( ' Mr. Alison'whistled. "Jealous! I should hope 1 wasn't quite such a fool. But i do think you arc altogether too careless in taking lip with people HO rashly. You linvou'7, known the family a month, and yet Mrs. Wilverlon is as much at homo here as if Iho house belonged to her. J don't like il, and 1 expressly desire you will see its little of her or her husband as is possible until something mor« is known of huth of them. • Especially do,I wish you lo decline their invitation to this ball. 1 dou'l. wan I my wife known as the chosen friend of n pair of adventurers." And, having delivered Ibis decision, Mr. Alison walked out, of Ihe room. Thereat hi.s pretty wife was justly indignant a.s well as at what he h-iil said. Anger had dried Ihe loar.s upon her cheeks a.s she intiiiorud, "Adventurers, indeed; as if that were possible! lam sure Mr. and Mrs. \Vilverton are as elegant and reliued as any people of our acquaintance, and everybody says tho ball will bo magnificent; and everybody in going, too; and—and—so u'm I. '1 will not bo deprived of every lillle pleasure 1 chance to earn for, b'eeause Fred chooses lo diclale in that lordly manner. I shall go to Ihe ball iu spile Of him; so there!" And tlio lillle foot came down with emphasis upon Iho soft carpel benealh it. Thus il was that Mr. ami Mrs. Alison en nearly quarreled this bright morn- Ing in early December. Tho Wilvor- tons had issued cards for a grand reception and ball, lo which nearly all c 1 -' of (he town had responded favorably. Could Mrs. Alison decline? She did not intend to, al all events, Yet it was with a rather tailing heart that she penned her acceptance'of the invitation and commence,! her preparation for Ihe great event. She 'had never yet iu (heir pleasant married life iictnd .so willfully in opposition lo her husband's wishes. Hut this lime she fell in part excusable. "If he had asked me not logo," she Biiid, half penitently, "1 might have thongljl belter of if; but I won't be commanded. 1 didn't marrv to become my husband's .slave, anil I'll g|| to this ball, if only to .show him that 1 can think for myself and shall act as 1 choose, whether he objects or not. You see, ihe little' lady was fast working herself up lo a very hhrli pitch of virtuous indignation, anil she was scarcely disposed lo pay any alteiuion to Iho Taint monitions'of 'conscience, especially when it dared to whisper that she was wrong. The night of iho'ball came round at last, as all things do when paiiently waited for. At breakfast thai day Mrs. Alison had announced to her husband her intention of altoudln" tho ball. "ion am not in earnest;'" lin satil. "Indeed I am," W:H the delimit reply. ".My iircpiir.-iiinn* are till cnm- plelod, ami Mrs. Lititfhlon has offered me a .scat in her carriage, in case yon persist in not escorting me yourself." '•I certainly shall not "go." her husband answered firmly. "And I cannot believe my lilllo wife will go without mo," he added, pleasantly. ''0,'vi! me a kiss, pus's, ami when I come homo Ibis evening. I trust, you will have put all this iio'i.son-jo out of your head. By. by!" But hi.s wife would not look nt him when lie kissed her, and stamped her foot angrilv as Iho door closed behind him. and she heard his careless whistle as no ran down tne stcp-i. "I'm not. it baby," she said to herself "and I won't be treated like one. lie shall find out that 1 can go without him." And lio did come to a realizing sense of Ihe fuel when ho come home lo or t.litil evening. Running lightly up stairs lo their room, the Nr.it siglit that met hi.s amazed eyes was his protly wife in full festive robes. Well, dear," she said with a light itfl'eeliilion of iini:onscioiisni-.s.s that she was vexing him in the least, "you see f have decided lo go ttl'lor till. Jlmv :lo you like my dress? I dressed early :)ii purpose for you lo .see il." « Mr. Alison liad ; slonpt<d short as she spoke, with hand uplifted. "Maud." he said, iu a vexed way, what dues this mean?' 1 "Have, you forgotten so quick?" nho inswered lightly." "II. i-: the Wilverton's ball, votj I'oiow. I told you this morning Air.-!. Leighioii had offered to call lor me. and briiiLr.mo home again.' Don't ^ ou remember?" "1 remember something you sooai lo have forgolleu," was the cold reply; "that is, that 1 did not and do not wish yon logo lo Ihi* ball. Those Wilvor- lons are not. Hi people for you lo associate with; of that. I am certain. Tho town is full of rumors against them, and T predict you will liud but very few decent people there fo-nighl." "What, nonsense you tiro talking." .she said, genuinely surprised now. "Why, I know there arc plenty of (he best people going; f have scarcely met one who has'de>rl tied tho invitation." "That may bo," was the quiet reply:, "bill many men who have heard as much, ami more than I have, will eliange their minds lo-nighl, and keep, themselves and their 'families away. Those who do go will bo sorry for it,' I am sure." "What, terrible things have von heard. I should like lo" know?" 'she asked, half convinced. • "Only rumors, 1 own," ho answered; "but they are bad enough. There was never so much smeko without a lillle lire, I" Mrs. Alison Interrupted him with blazing eyes. "Rumors, indeed! You' need say no more, 1 do not beli'-vo one word of il all, and I shall go, That is decided." "But, Maud" "1 don't wish In hoar any more. I am going." : And she went.—went, with Leighioii when she called for her- wilh a smiling faeo and an angry, rebellious heart. The Wilvei-tons greeted her with elVnsiou. Bnl ihuro were very few of her set present, and .somehow iho :iU m isphoro seemed a dill'erenl one from what she had been accustomed to. There were a number of slrangers : present, ladies and gentlemen. The: former did not impress her favorably and the latter seemed rather demon'-' stralive in their dovotiiiiH to Ihe fairer sex. Mr. \Vilverlon made her uncomfortable, moreover, with his persistent, mentions; and altogether she was uol, sorry when Mrs. Leigiilou proposed returning home. Tney won I early, ind must of their particular set followed iu their wake—those at least who had not. gone before. Very lillle coiiversalion passed be- tween'Mr. and Mrs. Alison thai, night —very 111 tie for some days tlioroal'ler. Ho considered himself justly aggrieved, tud was indignant accordingly. She ''elI, herself iu the wrong, was loo proud oowii it, and was miserable in couse- pieiu-o. Meanwhile the whispers against the Wilvorlons increased in number and mporlaneo. It liou'an to be generally iuneeded thai there was something wrong about them; and people who had taken them up on trust were gradually Iroppiug their acquaintance. Mrs'. Alison, however, prided herself on bong no summer friend, and her inii- tiacy with the Wilvorlons seemed iu m wise diminished, seemed, 1 sav, for •ihe was growing to dislike them'both, is she saw more and more of them. Mrs. Wilvoriou's dashing ways seemed cotir.se now. tied no words could loll tow she was growing to loathe the man who grew more bold ami outspoken in s admiration of her every dav, Bnl llm cud was very near. Mr. Alison came up to dinner one evening in a half-subdued tremor of excitement. "Maud, dear. 1 have news for you." 10 said, striving to speak calmly, but 'ailing signally in llm attempt. Mr*. Alison looked up U- lilllo sur- >risod at iho "dear." which had fallen 'rom hi.s lips but, rarely siuco that un- 'ortuiiato ball, but. truth to loll, rather glad io hear it a-.rain. What is it?"" it's about tho Wilvorlons. You pee," he went on hurriedly, "there's icon, as yon know, a great deal of talk iboiti, them lately —more, perhaps, ban you are aware of—and people adventurers, Mrs. -U'lillt sue nan iiccu—nr nan then "to lie—a' friend lo Mrs. Wilverloii. Slio could not desert her now that so terrible a sorrow had fallen upon her. ••Will yon ring the bell for Luck?" she said lo her husband, very quickie. "I want my bonnet ami shawl. I am going lo Vee Mrs. Wilvorlon. She onghl'not In be left lo bear (his trouble alone, and I knn'.v of no one who will go lo her. now." Mr. Alison slarctl, amazed. Even ho had never realized half the real iiobilily lhat. dcspiie her faults, was inherent in his wife's u.-ilure. She had risen now. and was standing, verv pale and still, by (he (able, lie went to her and put his arms around her and drew her hc.-id down to hi.s breast. "My noble Maud," was all he said. She clung lo him, .sobbing. "Oh, Fred—you do foru'ivo me for treating yon so badly the oi her night?" she pleaded. "J'm so sorry now/' "I need forgiveness, too.'darling, for. having been sullen," ho nnsworei earnestly, "and we will Imlh forycl and forgive. Shall it Im HO?" Sim lifted her face and kissed him Bof I ly. "And poor Mrs. Wilvcrton. Fred! Will you not go with me to see her., ] do uol. like her really, Munich J have tried; Inn I can not, leave her lo beat this alone." I can sec her now as oho :ili:i'hi from the ambulance ou Ilio piti/.za the lillle In-own farm house—a but inal roiily-looking lady, ban Ino, wlih glowing dark e.ve.s that look- as if they had fireworks in them, i was dressed in black, and her only baggage Wits a smitll hand-saehol. She was a (so accompanied by a shaggy skyo-loiTior, a mere armful thai made a Holdier who hadn't seen • a pretty woman for a month of Sundays envious. Whnl, occurred within tho doors that closed upon her was related to me afterward by Gen. Jordan, then and subsequently Beaurogard's ndjul.tint- gonoral. Boaureirard was, of course, delighted lo see her, and with a woman's volubility she 'told him more in two hours than bo could remember iu two months. The verbal part of the Interview, being ended, he inquired for her papers,- the record of her trip, ami (he (iispalches .ho expected from confederates in the north. "Why, general. I didn't (hire to bring them on my person," she replied, with a .'peculiar smile. "It; was unsafe, yon know; I might have been captured, and, therefore. I have told you all-1 know by word of mouth." Beaurogard could not conceal hia vexation, and the more ho showed it tho more' the 'little woman .seemed to enjoy.it. Finally, ai'ler tensing him to hor,j heart'si content, she said with ,ah"oclcd ilem-.reness: "General, have von n pair of' scissors or a knife? I'd like I" iiso it for a minute." •Boahrogard handed her tho ink- eraser. "Gome, here. Dot," she called to the dog v and, taking him iu her lap, continued:' "I told yon, geher.-il, it wiis not safe to carry important papers pu my person, and 1 have not done so; in fa el, 1 have been suspected ami searched, but. a woman's wit, is .sometimes ' superior lo man's judgment. "See!' 1 she ;;a;d, with coiiiiellish -nonchalance, as shu turned the little animal tin his back, and deliberately proceeded to rip him open. "Here are the dispatchc.:*!' 1 .As she spoke she hold in ono hand Hie hide of her skye-lorrier, and with the ol.hersuiiiingly extended n package of closely written tissue paper; while dancing about the floor was a prei.lv ••blacl;-and-l.-iu," happy al his deiiii-rV from another dog's clothes. Tlio.deception was perfect, the mission ii success, Boaureiriird was enabled to .anticipate McClcllan's movements, and the charming spy not onlv received a handsome reward, but was led to the altar after Ihe war ns the bride of Iho young ollicor who sung her praises at Boaurogard's breakfast table. Mrs. Mason afterward engaged in a number of perilous enterprises, visiting the north several times, and once running the blockade from Charleston with lite late Gapl. "Bob" Lockwooil, so IOIIL;' identified with the Mew York it Charleston line of steamers. Whether she is still alive I do uol know. WIT AND parlcd: "Amen," wept n**. sit;. she. — A'. As I liny ho. "A .. lMnl.il. 8:i in I s ners o.m son '.Hob The, survival of the fittest is the floe- trine tlntt always wins in a dog light. ' an: not-tiiitriii in n day.bill sitt- ln' inaili; in tf niomcm.— A(': : "~ tip under misfor- inu it l'r(!(|iu!iil.ly liocoinoa uncossary Hluntl ui) olio's frioiuls.— Texas tiit'i- Great. Itlaolc Cockatoo. In Iho islands of the Malay Archipelago is found the great black cocl;a- loo. whoso special food is Ihe kernel of Ihe kanari nut, and the .shell of which is said lo lw harder than lhat. of any other mil, and to protect a kernel of most delicttie llavor. The kanari tree grows lo a great height and hoars ti fleshy fruit which incloses tin extremely hard shell of glass-like smoothness of surface. Wilhiu this shell are from nne to three kernels covered with a thin skin; when lids i.s removed tlio nut falls into a number of irregular flakes of snowy whiteness-anil delicious •icrnpled to call them ml swindlers. H .seems Ihey are even .vorse than that." "Whiti?" cried Mrs. Alison, sharply. "Criminals! Al leasi t ; ie man is. :le w.-ts arrested this morning by a do- j eclive from London, who has been on I i track for some lime. His very i jiildness iu coming here and launch- 1 ing out iu the style he has, under an issumod name, ami with all the ap- pearaiiec of :rroal wealth, had thrown ihe police oil' the scent for tl lillle while. But they've! got him now, and ' he's safe for a twenty years' term at ' 'orl la ml Island at least'." "What has he done?" asked Mrs. Alison. "Perhaps yoi^wiM n-coirni/.e his real name—it is Willis' 1 ,—- " •The notorious litmk robber?" "1 no same." [ Mrs. Alison did not speak for many mumies. llautsho remembered thai The Meshy part; of the kanari fruit i.s ciileu by many birds, particularly by Ihe large wood-pigeons, but only tho black cocknloo is able lo get at llm nut. which il does by the great strength of its immense, sharply pointed and hooked beak. Taking a nut end-wise in its bill and keeping it firm by a pressure of the horny cud of its tongue', ihe cockatoo cuts a notch across tho shell by ;i sawing motion of the sharp j edge of the lower part of the beak. I This done, Ihe bird lakes hold of the 1 mil with one fool; while biting oil' a wraps glassy shell from slipping, while it uses the upper part of its hcak lo hold Iho nub anil the under part lo iuserl iu the nolch already made and wrench oil' a piece of Iho .shell by a powerful nip. Ae'iiiu Inking the nut in its claw the bird inserts the very long and sharp point, of its bill into the hole just made and piel>s out, t'ne kernel, which is seized Hake by Hake by the horny end of the long and flexible tongue. More lime i.s required lo tell about this nut cracking than the bird takes to per- ,ne cockatoo it' j piece of a thick leaf. This it . around the nut lo prevent lite form I he opera a very ra for I,l s id feeder ami'will consume a yreat many nuts in at/hour. Tiie tunnel su^.;'i ( isteil between Scotland and Ireland -would be about twen- Ihree miles li'iiif; the estimated cost is §40.000.001) a.ul the worst gradient iu it would be Ojtio lo seveuly-iive. Horn. The man who has never boon dis- satislied can never realize conlcnt- m c 1 1 1. — Klmira Gazette. Primus) — "Does ho foot his wifo's bills?" Secundns — "I've seen him kick at them."— Epoch. These courtships by telegraph may bo properly called sparks" from tho Wires, —titm Francisoo Alia. When a woman goes lo invest in sealskins she soon reli/,es that $.00 will not go fur. — JJostan Herald. It brings joy to tho heart of Anthony Comslock lo read about a ship skirting a bare headland. — Uoston Courier. In order to stand tune to stand up one's friends. — Texas tiifl ings. Ireland's peasants need not bo so down-hoai'led. Adam and Eve commenced life with tin eviction. — Boston Truviillcr. "Young Jiggers is not wholly bad.'* "No, there are several stylus of wicked ness he has not hoard of yet.— Indian- (ipolis Journal. Ho (11:55 p. m.) — "I declare, tho lamp is going out," She— Yes; tho lamp seems lo have some idea of timo." — Uarpcr^s Uuzar. Ho — "I til ways pay :is I go." Slio (yawning) — "Well, how is it that wlien you are paving attention YOU never goP"— zV. y. JJarald. She — "What do you suppose has taken all the color of her cheeks?" Ho — "Her husband's nose, I .should " w -JWM.Msc.(/'« Weekly. The most dreaded result of tho Indian excitement is tho revival of till Sion.x-poraiinuatod jokes ou that subject. — Philadelphia Times. First Literary Character— "You've been stealing my ideas." Second Literary Character— "That's all right, I couldn't sell them." — Epoch. As a rule, tlio young husband is willing to join his wife's church, but it is his privilege lo fix tlio political status of tho family.— Delias A'uw/i. you belong to the church?" inquired the clergyman of the janitor. •No," replied the janitor, "the church belongs to me.' 1 — .Y. Y. Sim. Docs the cellar leak?" "No. It's had two feet of water iu it ever since vo been in the house. Not a drop has got out." — llnrper's Buzar. When a man dies who never did a good thing during all his life it is the customary thing to talk of the charitable deeds ho did iu secret.— Atchison Utobc. r\n Irishman wrote homo to his friends over the briny that in this blessed land everybody- is so honest u. reward has to be offered for thieves. — Hum's Horn. "Do you believe in curc.s effected by the laving on of hands?" "I certainly lo. There is nothing like spanking o make a child behave himself."— JUunsuy's Weekly. Why do they call the boys in the galleries I he gods, Mr. Tragodicns?" To disfmguNli them from the devils who MI iu liie orchestra chairs and write criticisms." — Jluslon Courier. liiiigo •-•Dear me. I'm lired. My wile go I me up at U o'clock this morii- ing." Kingley— "What did she set you up so 'early for?" Bingo— "She wanted to catch Iho noon train." — N. 1'. tiitn. Turning down the upper corners of the _visiting-card signifies visile and felicitation; the lower corners cougo and condolence. Both stvlcs urn MI appropriate Congressional use. — Wash* inyton I'ost. "I wonder if that man roads my articles before he rejects them." remarked a writer. "I suppose," responded |,j s non-admiring friend, "you want i.he comfort of revenge." — Wash- inyloti I'osl. Wooden (reading the athletic col- 1111111) — -Just think of this! , Hero's a follow that jumped twenty-two feet." Kdgely— "O, that's nothing. I once knew a fellow that jumped the State." — • 1 Son ton Co u rier. Sanso— "When I was in China - " Hodd — "I never knew yon had been iu China." Sanso— "I was once when I was in college. I was jammed through the earth in a football tackle." — -V. )'. Herald. Jaysmilh— "Can you oblige mo with a ton-dollar bill?"" Gargovle— "Tho obligation is yours." Jaysuiitli (pleased)— ••You ilattcr me." Gargovle— "You misunderstand. You oblige mo to refuse.''— West ti/iorc, Hicks— "I suppose after those Indians have finished their dancing they'll go to scalping." Wicks— "Yes, and just as it is with the paleface ballet, you'll liud the bald heads at tho from."— Boston Transcript. Customer ( purchasing a fountain pen)— "What's this it is wrapped up in?" Clerk— "That, sir. is a tract.' Head it and it may counteract the terrible effect on you caused liv swearing at tho pen."— Boston Traveller. Sanso — "f have been lecturing through Iho oouiilrv for the last couple of monlhs." " Rodd — "Urn; well, old man, J'm awfullv sorry, but I lent my last liver lo Browu'about ten minutes ago."— JV. Y. Herald. "It's a most remarkable thing," said Smilhers, "but J never set foot'in that place without t hero being a very dK- agroifiiblo person inside." And Smithers wondered why his friend lau»hoil so infernally much.— A 7 ". Y. I'ress. " Mrs. Walls— "For all the smart talk about women's curiosity, Iho men are just 'as bail." Mrs. Potts— "Yes, indeed. He never gives mo a dollar without wanliuir to know all about what 1 intend f?o da with it." — Indian,- apolis Journal. "Have you noticed what n vast quantity of information old Simpol has acquired .diivj.iii'tho last several davs?" "f e,«. Ji is r;i.vjiy- accounted /or. His 15-ynar oi.d son returned from board- in<_"--i-'i,i(>l last week for a short visit." — A, i,-/ i.:(fjii)ii ll< raid. Mi~- Nestle — "Are you in forested in nguage of flower.*. Mr. Appolis?" fof St. Pan )— "I should fie Trfed to Be tho Mr. say 1 wheat, longs ail' as! Spring shorts, staple brands, tin' millin' machinery is my pel hobbies. Seen them patetn bags for paekiii'?''— Judge. "Is that colored woman coming to do your work?" asked a Washington woman of n friend who has had a great dctil of trouble with servants. "Well, was the reply, "she is coming here to d if Qlm likng HID work T o-i!'>o-- maj-no. she'll do it."— Washington i'osl. "I don't think I ever saw anything funnier than the last ^ttct of Hint comedy," said a friend to a Congressman. "Yon ought lo sooV "I don't think I want to.. I've seen acts of Congress that struck me a.s being about, as'ftin- ny as anylhiug I c.au staud." — Washington Post. Quidnunc — "Are you mourning, Scribbler? I notice that j'ou always wear black now, when you used always lo wear light colors.'" Scribbler — "O, no; I'm not in mourning, but! bought me one of those fountain pens a little while ago. and 1 find it cheaper to wear black." — fJofitoJi Courier. "My dear sir, you have traveled in Africa! Do the African ladies suffer as much as we from the tyranny of man? ' "O, no, the ladies tiiere have special privileges -- " "How I long to be I here!" "As 1 was going to say, at all the banquets the lady captives are always tirst eaten."— Fiietieiule Ulalter. in my The Story oC a Social Belle. "Sometimes I doubt if I wore born." writes a society hollo in a delightful arlicle. 'The Story of a' Society Girl,' in the Ladies' 1 Home Journal. "I think I am the result of triiiismiVrhiinu—first tin orchid, ncxl a bird of Paradise and, last of all, a blooded horse, f belong to an : old family, and my solicitor tells me that I have a great deal of money; but,'who over hoard of a woman having enough? Mamma, very sensibly, trained me to be a.coquette. From tho lime that I could stand f was aware of the value of my white skin, my deep, dark eyes, and 'that attached to the wonderful roil hair that made a gorgeous framing for my finely cut" face. I was willing to go to bod early, for I had been told "of the good of those sleeping hours that come before 12 o'clock; to bo bathed and rubbed until I was weary enough to sleep again, because my nurse had said that this would make my form handsome and supple, and my'arrns and neck tho ad- miralion of tho world. School was an unknown quantity to me—governesses and that sort of tiling came and .1 endured them, learned of them, and.was spoken of by them as the most beautiful girl thoy had ever seen—but one who was ul.ioriy heartless. They little understood that heart was Ilie last thing that would be desirable profession, for I made it such. "At eighteen years of ago I was brought out, but ior three months before that my mother had taught me exactly who among the men were eligible, who were not, what; women •were to be cultivated, what ones to be civil to and what ones lo ignore. I made my first appearance,ami 'mamma very wisely had mo dressed in Iho invest of white silk muslin, made in Empire style, with a broad, white sash about my waist, a white rose iu my hair, and louir. while jrlo-os, only partially covering my hoauliful arms. As was proper, i accepted the invitations to dance from the elderly men, from whom it was a compliment to receive them, and, as far as possible, 1 ignored tho younger ones. I sought mamma's wing at the cud of each dance, and, to her delight, tho impression left on everybody's mind was that of my being an extremely beautiful, ingenuous young girl who know nothing whatever about'soeiety. How they erred!" Too Willing to Suit. A needy Frenchman puco heard that a marriage was on tho tapis between the daughter of a certain wealthy merchant and the sou of A rich banker. The dowry that was to bo a'iven to the bride was 600.000 francs." The merchant was weil known to be ou tho lookout for a good bargain or to save a dojlar, so ou this the Parisian founded his hopes on a good dinner tit' least. Ho aecordiiigly'callcd at the merchant's residence and asked Ihe privilege of seeing him on very important business. After a little while he was admitted to his presence. "The matter, sir, on which I called." ho began, "involves for you the practical saving of 250,000 francs. I " "Oh, my" dear sir," interrupted tho merchant, "this is too serious to be discussed before dinner, and, as it is now my hour for dining, pray take dinner with me, and we will" afterward consider vour proposition at our leisure." Having partaken of a meal that left .1 pleasant flavor in the unfortunate's memory t| u > rest of his life they returned to the merchant's study. "And now I am ready to near vour proposal," lie remarked.' The Parisian, after n moment's thought, began: "1 understand, sir, your daughter is to bo shortly married, to tho soil of the banker, D'Argmil?" "Yes, that is true." "And that her dowry is half a million?" This was also assented to. "Well, then, here is mv idea; I am ready to take her for half Unit sum, ami thus you will save or gain oxaetlv 250,000 francs." J Papa in the Kcucllion. An old army ollicer, according to Mrs. Ctister, had a four-year-old boy who never tired of war sfories. "Tho story is a lillle rough ou me," said tho -oOicer to Mrs. Cusl.er, "but if you know a child, yon know that he wauls a plentiful sprinkling of 1's. and nothing told in the third'person. So I kept on as he demanded, till one day he looked up into my face and said: "Fallier, couldn't you gel any one to kelp you put down the rebellion?" k "Let mo sen yonr Encyclopedia Na vomic.-i. if you "please,"" said a fnriuJJ as ho stepped into a prominent bo" storn of Pittsbtinr. "Yes. sir," replied the clerk, although he thought the inquirer looked like an unpromising 'customer; Still ho was polite for Hie clerks hnd gniiera 1 instruction!' to treat all callers with consideration, and. beside.*, this |iarticnlar Clerk had read somewhere of literary men n-ifh agricultural habits and of a granger-like app'-nrance, and it was barely possible mat tile man now .-mkinn- io see the eueyelo- peilitt wa« one of thai kind. It does not always do lo judiro poo- pie by the clothes they wear, nor to form conclusions from the hayseed which may endeavor to conceal itself cunningly in their hair. So reasoned the clerk as ho displayed nil the twenty-four volumes of the Encyclopedia Nuxvomioa to the investigative rustic, and expatititsd Icarii* edly on the dead loads of erudition which had been consumed in tho production of the groat Work. Tho farmer looked slowly and carefully I'lirongh the volumes, one by one, and listened to what the vokib'lo clerk said, but made no reply or gave any indication of a desire to add the sot to his literary possessions. Finally tho clerk asked: "Were von thinking of gelling an encyclopedia?" "Oit. no," replied the farmer, "but I like lo oblige people." '•Like to oblige people?" exclaimed the astonished clerk. "Yes, I tillers try lo oblige people when t can, but sometimes it's mi ' inconvenient, in Iho busy season.' "But if you don't intend to buy an encyclopedia," said the clerk in aii injured tone, "why arc yon wasting your time and mine by looking all through those books?" "Jist bekaso I allors try to oblige, sir, oven at some inconvenience to mv- BOlf." .' "1 don't see how you are obliging anybody, 11 added the clerk, as ho sadly replaced the books in their box, anil wondered if he had bettor call the police. "Don't you?" asked the "rah"or. "Well, I'lT toll you. You hov a sign iu the winder which says. -Ask to see our Encyclopedia Nuxvdmica,' tin' as I tillers try lo oblige 1 come in an' dun as the sign said, but there bo some people as never appreciate it when you do try to oblige 'em." And the farmer walked out, resolving never to try to oblige tho city people again. Japanese 1 Wrestlers. The professional athletes of Japan are the great wrestlers, who seem to be of a different race from Iho ordinary Japanese, and who have a system of training very different from that of John L: Sullivan or Jake Kilrain. says the N. Y. l.c.dijcr. TIM-MI men be.liovo in the accumulation rather limn tho reduction of fat, and I hey tire great; tall fellows of six feet or more, and weigh from 200 to 800 pounds. They train themselves largely- by pounding and being pounded'by thoi'r fellows. They have great strength of neck-ami they increase this by bulling against, one another with their heads and sinking their opponents in the chest so that the noise is that of a battering-nun. They butt at wooden posts with their shoulders, pound their flesh and stamp the earth with their feet. I saw tin exhibition at, which about, 100 of these wrestlers contested during a visit I paid to Japan a year or so ago. Tho wrestlers came 'into Uio ring entirely naked, with tho exception of a bolt'iibout the loins. Before beginning they made tho partly shako with their stamping, and, they'' glared at each other like demons. They made many false starts,' and when they grappled' their great muscles stood out like ropes Upon their groat arms, and it was a battle of the giants. They have a wonderful strenirtli of wrist and lingers, and now and then one would grasp his opponent by Hie belt,-and. liftiiiir hi.-; SOI) pounds'high in Ihe air, would throw him over Ins shoulder, and he would fall on Ihe earth with a lerrilie thud, while Ihe umpire would raise his fan and yell out the Japanese word for victory. The most, noted Jitpaiic.se wrestlers have, as great reputations as those of our prize-lighters, and iho profession of wrestling (bites back lo the beginning of Japanese history. The rules of tho ring are quite as rigid as those of tho marquis of Quoonsborry, and there are forty-eight falls whieh"cau be " made. The very best class of Japanese people patronize these wrestlers, and a rich man often has a party of them come and wrestle tit his receptions for the entertainment of his guests. Some of the most noted statesmen tiro patrons of wrestlers, and one of tho cabinet, ministers of tlio mikado was .not long ago nicknamed iho "Wrestler." The wrestling goes ou in both its public exhibitions and at private entertainments without the aid of belling, and so far Iho muscular exhibitions of Japan have not boon corrupted by. tho vice of pool-selling. "JSxonso Mo for JJein"- Alive." T'..oro is a link, drun-gist \ n Brooklyn, but although little ho is full of pluck. Tho other day ho got' on a horse-car and dropped into a corner Beat and began reading a paper. Other passengers iot aboard and soon the vehicle was"erowdod. Still the serenity of the druggist was undisturbed. Suddenly tlioi-o came a change. _"Oueh!'' exclaimed the drujjiii'st, with ii frown and a glare at n"s"iwut man, who had stepped upon hi.s foot and sent shooting piins throh"'h his most favot'eil ooni. -Hey. there!" ho added. "You are siaudiii"' on mv loot." J Tlie man then removed hi.s pressure, but iho dru.jrgisi failed to hear his incoherent tip ilou'y. "Say!" hojshotiiod [ 0 t) 10 [,j, r | JU . IV> "Please excuse me." "Oh, no,"-returned |,|,e other, "it's my fault; please oxen<o me." "i ''eg pardon, sir." q de.klv responded the I'uiu, ,„;,,,. .. Illin , u j-. HI | f . please excuse me for beiti"- alive," and amid „ ,.„.,,,. uf u,,,,;,^,. ho ,. e , eutiied ihe perusal of his pawr.—A r . Y

Get full access with a Free Trial

Start Free Trial

What members have found on this page